Тёмный

“I’m So Close to Divorce It’s Not Funny!” 

The Dr. John Delony Show
Подписаться 722 тыс.
Просмотров 47 тыс.
50% 1

“I’m So Close to Divorce It’s Not Funny!”
Send John your questions. Leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291 or email www.johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
Learn how to change your thoughts, change your behaviors, and change your life. Subscribe to the Dr. John Delony’s show!
ru-vid.com?...
As heard on this episode:
- BetterHelp - bit.ly/3seoBCe
- DreamCloud - dreamcloudsleep.com/delony
- Churchill Mortgage - www.churchillmortgage.com/Delony
Get John’s new book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future here: bit.ly/3Lmf076
Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: bit.ly/3cEP4n6
Get John’s Questions for Humans Conversation Cards:
bit.ly/3wkym67
Twitter (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( JohnDelony/).
The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show.
If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
Watch and subscribe to all The Ramsey Network shows here: ru-vid.com...

Опубликовано:

 

22 сен 2022

Поделиться:

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист
Посмотреть позже
Комментарии : 262   
@readerbabe1984
@readerbabe1984 Год назад
I love how Dr. John can drag the caller, kicking and screaming into less vague language and self awareness.
@crewboy23
@crewboy23 Год назад
And most of the time, the callers are still vague when he does that.
@starlingswallow
@starlingswallow Год назад
Boys are brought up to shut off emotions: except for anger. So that leaves SO MANY men who cannot figure out what's wrong, why they're angry, sad, anxious, depressed, miserable. I honestly pray for all the men in the world. Showing ALL emotions is a beautiful and courageous thing ❤
@starlingswallow
@starlingswallow Год назад
Girls as well. I was taught this too, by example, punishments...and "Stop crying or I'll GIVE you something to cry about!" Seriously?? This told me that the reason I was crying was stupid, which meant I was stupid and that what I was upset about _didn't matter._ My emotions *didn't matter.* *I DIDN'T MATTER.* Good going parents. 👏🏻......👏🏻......👏🏻
@abrahamflores2566
@abrahamflores2566 Год назад
We need to teach stoicism.
@jwlsngold5026
@jwlsngold5026 Год назад
@@starlingswallow So true...where was the love and empathy from our parents??
@sfappetrupavelandrei
@sfappetrupavelandrei 11 месяцев назад
​@@starlingswallowMy mom was the same in the way she talked to us (boys and girls) when we were crying: stop pissing your eyes. 😅
@Matt-cr4vv
@Matt-cr4vv 10 месяцев назад
Yeah it certainly is hard. Growing up my father struggled with issues with his anger but I would usually break into tears when it happened. And for awhile when I began my relationship with my wife 12 years ago for the first year or so I noticed that same anger coming from me. Luckily I woke up and saw what I was becoming and got that out of my behavior and don’t struggle with that anymore. But it took a lot of self awareness that the harm growing up that I hated so much was starting to come from me and that I needed to stop from becoming what I didn’t want to be. But it’s a challenge when you aren’t taught to process things in a healthy way but I also try to remember that my parents grew up with parents who were super angry and just were harsh with punishment which helps me to grasp the challenge of them teaching proper emotion. My dad had the anger but my mom didn’t and so it was milder than they had which in a way is a positive
@ae3209
@ae3209 Год назад
So his wife can't be mad about him hurting her 12 years ago, but he has no prob being mad at his parents from 40 years ago 🤔 ok
@toscadonna
@toscadonna Год назад
She’s only mad at him for what happened 12 years ago, because he hasn’t changed one bit. He’s not even sorry for hurting her and refuses to apologize because it’s not “heart felt?”😂 He’s not sorry at all.
@Matt-cr4vv
@Matt-cr4vv 10 месяцев назад
Yeah that’s hard to listen to and makes you question what hope there is. I get not wanting actions of the past hanging over your head or being used to guilt you when convenient and many times I think that’s fair to feel if you’ve apologized and done what you can to fix it. But the idea that it happened twelve years ago, you’re over it, and that now you can’t give a heart felt apology is concerning to me about what love or empathy there really is for his wife. Even if you’re over what you actually did at that time I would think you’d at least feel the need to apologize for the effects that are still felt by the woman you love and you’d feel remorse for the hurt that she still feels from it. I’m far from perfect but there are still things I did at the beginning of our relationship that I express regret and remorse for to my wife even now because it still hurts to think back to that tiem and remember the hurt it caused to her. So it’s striking to hear how he spoke of this but I think we can change but it requires some serious acceptance of how wrong you were and ownership. Once you get to that point of ownership of your actions the way you stop being so defensive over those things like he seems to be here. I hope he figures it out and let’s go of things he’s harboring because what Dr. D says about drinking the poison and hoping it hurts somebody else is extremely true. But I also hope he learns just how much freedom comes with that ownership and moving forward with things and how amazing your marriage becomes once you get there.
@randybobandy9828
@randybobandy9828 3 месяца назад
Correct. It's not hard to understand
@LateNightRewrites
@LateNightRewrites 2 месяца назад
I mean one is childhood trauma that impacts someone for the rest of their life and the other is a marital dispute that she supposedly moved on from but keeps in her back pocket as a cudgel
@nikstar1313
@nikstar1313 Месяц назад
The cycle repeats
@kylemedeiros6907
@kylemedeiros6907 Год назад
I'm just a commenter but i think this guy would do well to take his wife on a date and just let her talk all night and really listen. And to make sure he understands her and that she feels understood.
@sarahkhalil6789
@sarahkhalil6789 Год назад
Hmm.... I don't think so. 🤔 we forget that EMPATHY, is LEARNED. His wife can talk all day and night long but if he doesn't know how to engage emotionally and practice empathy, it's pointless. Trust me...I know, my husband is just like this. It sucks.
@Bluesnakes333
@Bluesnakes333 Год назад
@@sarahkhalil6789 I totally agree. My boyfriend was the same, he had some empathy (more so for animals not humans 😂). But I leaned on him as a “rock” bc he is emotional stable but he never understood what I felt and I knew that. He was a good listener but not an empathizer. I lean on my family when I need empathy. Even my dad is very empathetic. Sometimes we have our needs met by family and friends, not our partner.
@rachelkruse9087
@rachelkruse9087 Год назад
Or his wife would do well to find a man who knows how to love and show gratitude and appreciation.
@Youdoxxikill
@Youdoxxikill 4 месяца назад
​@@sarahkhalil6789you didn't realize that about your partner before you married him?
@dp2120
@dp2120 4 месяца назад
Unfortunately, this may be the opposite of what the wife wants. Sounds like she’s been bearing the burden of communicating their whole marriage. Being asked to recite everything again can feel like a punishment, not a gift. He needs to do the talking.
@tiffanynicoley
@tiffanynicoley Год назад
I dated a guy like this. They feel so bad about themselves and any little pinprick you do to make them feel blame or shame makes them irrationally angry. They have such a difficult time accepting fault and feeling vulnerable. Everything is everybody else’s fault. No idea how they can help themselves and change but I am glad he is an EX lol
@mikenelson8377
@mikenelson8377 Год назад
I'm not buying it. You were probably the cause of it.
@tiffanynicoley
@tiffanynicoley Год назад
@@mikenelson8377 Well since the break up I’ve been in a very happy relationship because we actually talk through our issues. I used to get screamed at over a simple "what you said hurt my feelings" conversation. It was very abusive. I never yelled back, called him names or anything like that because I wanted it to work, despite not getting the same respect. He never once apologized. Sometimes people are just so broken they leak toxicity onto everyone else around them 🤷‍♀️
@MsBlondiesarah
@MsBlondiesarah Год назад
Dated someone like this too. The amount of being yelled at over the smallest things was unbearable. It all comes from how they were raised. He came from a very dysfunctional family.
@SC68170
@SC68170 Год назад
@@mikenelson8377 lmao
@mikenelson8377
@mikenelson8377 Год назад
@@tiffanynicoley I honestly doubt that. I wanna hear his side of the story.
@JerryStevens
@JerryStevens Год назад
What I hear is a guy who is inwardly focused and trying to figure out how to be happy. In my experience, that is a recipe for unhappiness. He would do well to focus on his wife's needs instead of his own reasons for unhappiness. It might also help if he volunteered his time in organizations to help others, just to get out of his own head. His wife asked him for an apology, a simple thing to do, and instead of giving her one, gave her a reason it wouldn't feel right to him. He's convinced he can't change and as the saying goes: Whether you think you can or you think you can't, either way you're right.
@carnivoreRon
@carnivoreRon Год назад
He's detached from his emotions and has little self awareness of why he does things. I was abused as a child and to become a whole person is tough. Growing takes a lot of understanding and self forgiveness.
@huberttrocks
@huberttrocks Год назад
This was the most challenging call I can think of! Unfortunately I have a feeling lots of guys have this same conditioning.
@zeal4god402
@zeal4god402 Год назад
Marriage is WORK. Many couples say they have tried everything, and often that isn't true, there is something they could do to get the marital-fire blazing brighter than it's ever been, but one or both isn't wiling to do it. It isn't enough to have chemistry, both need connection and a passion for self-development.
@l-train7876
@l-train7876 Год назад
This guy needs to do a lot of work on himself. I love Dr D’s line “you want the championship but you won’t go to the weight room”.
@zeal4god402
@zeal4god402 Год назад
YUUUUP
@pattyajones
@pattyajones Год назад
Yep, and if he does it right, he'll get rid of his manipulative wife, or she will also seek counseling and they'll grow together.
@orphansparrow2
@orphansparrow2 Год назад
One thing about this guy that's awesome, is that he isn't hiding his stuff - the parts he understands. He thinks he doesn't have self-awareness, but he has a lot. He just has to keep going.
@ARKenMan
@ARKenMan Год назад
Caller said John said at the beginning of the call 'he could hear the anger in his voice' but he never said that.
@georgieeve2026
@georgieeve2026 Год назад
They edit the calls to cut out the slow/unnecessary parts :)
@boxelder9147
@boxelder9147 Год назад
@@georgieeve2026 i didnt think so either
@doctorposting
@doctorposting 2 месяца назад
he literally said “why does that make you mad right now”……
@ibpanrioe
@ibpanrioe Год назад
I think he should start with a gratitude journal. Maybe something simple like "I'm grateful for the heat from the sun." Then turn it into something more meaningful occasionally like "I'm grateful for my wife's patience during my slump in my life". Maybe that'll have small changes in mindset and it's not TOO hard?
@ivorybow
@ivorybow Год назад
At least the man is willing to try. I wish my husband of 35 years had once addressed why I was always so sad, and why I finally gave up.
@reginasemenenko148
@reginasemenenko148 Год назад
You care enough to call, so you can work on this and get better. Please take care of yourself. When you feel angry, find a better channel to cope. Some people work out, some chop wood, some walk, jog, run, or whatever. Things can get better for you. If one therapist doesn't work, you can find another.
@GUITARTIME2024
@GUITARTIME2024 Год назад
I hear ANXIETY, not anger.
@jennifersilves4195
@jennifersilves4195 4 месяца назад
Oh he's seething.
@suzannemiller993
@suzannemiller993 Год назад
Here's a suggestion that he might try. When he is excited (anxious) or angry, don't raise your voice. Keep it level and under control. Then the people around you won't get intimidated by your feelings and be afraid of you.
@jennifersilves4195
@jennifersilves4195 4 месяца назад
That's even more terrifying really. He needs to stop being mad.
@Pink_Princessx69
@Pink_Princessx69 Год назад
"You wanna win the championship but you don't wanna go on the team retreat, you don't wannna eat right..." ... WOW.
@cngaedk
@cngaedk Год назад
I kinda feel like they need to make sure David isn’t suicidal. He sounds like he has lost hope. Prayers he gets things figured out.
@kylemedeiros6907
@kylemedeiros6907 Год назад
be present with the people in your life and let them come to you.
@ashleyb1091
@ashleyb1091 Год назад
The more I listen to this, I feel bad for him, his pain is so deep and he can’t get out of the hole. I think he grew up feeling lonely and alone. Physical touch and long hugs go a long way. He needs a hug and be told everything is okay.
@char6524
@char6524 2 месяца назад
This conversation was everything, and I think it may have changed my life. I get you David.
@oc2538
@oc2538 11 месяцев назад
The first caller has a lot of pain, anger, he's frustrated. He's probably not feeling well about himself. He doesn't feel like he deserves a better life. When you are told as a kid that you are a worthless, then you believe it. Also his wife wanted an apology, if he knows he's wrong, then why not apologize. My husband is the same way. I ask him, can you just apologize. He shakes his head like a 3 year old
@TLC717
@TLC717 Год назад
It's hard for many of us to comprehend that anyone might not feel love and empathy but there are ppl who do not feel these emotions. They are not capable of it. They learn how they are supposed to act by watching others. I think David sounds exhausted and doesn't want to deal with it because he knows he doesn't feel what he needs too. I think he probably knows it will be constant work and maybe he doesn't have the energy to be someone he's not. I don't recall him saying he doesn't want a divorce because he loves his wife. I don't recall him talking about love at all. If the ppl in his life can't accept this, he'll end up alone. These are just opinions I have from being married to someone who has no empathy and I really don't think he feels love like most of us. My husband can't give me what he isn't capable of so I'll either accept it or let it end our marriage. Listening to this call was like listening to my own story. I thought I could break through my husband's tough guy exterior but it's almost impossible when it's interior as well.
@thembisaodendaal
@thembisaodendaal Год назад
Wow De D ,this was a tough one and you were brilliant.This guy has lost hope but hopefully you pulled him back in.If he reads the comments I hope he knows he's worth everything, just the fact that he knows there's a problem is enough reason to believe he will make it
@kekejefferson9219
@kekejefferson9219 Год назад
When your not getting an apology or you have to force it, it's time to pick up your bags and go.
@jjgems5909
@jjgems5909 Год назад
That’s damn terrible advice. Leave the advice to the professionals please lol
@show_me_your_kitties
@show_me_your_kitties 6 месяцев назад
​@@jjgems5909No, they are right.
@starlingswallow
@starlingswallow Год назад
Who's David going to be? Who is David going to become? *Dang.* I wish my parents would have asked me these question. The LACK of these kind of talks and questions are why I have spent my life feeling, like David, that I have no value. Now I know I do. God says so and *I* say so.
@kendrarhodes6425
@kendrarhodes6425 Год назад
I’m glad he called in. I feel like that’s a step. He just needs to make his mind up to truly change.
@mickeymichelle9067
@mickeymichelle9067 Год назад
The hardest work to do on earth is work on one’s self.
@destinysdesire2536
@destinysdesire2536 Год назад
I love how Dr. John handled this one.
@doctorposting
@doctorposting 2 месяца назад
i don’t. he sounded angry for some reason??? it was weird
@israelarellano8335
@israelarellano8335 Год назад
I'm so glad he made that promise at the end!
@albertomarin2199
@albertomarin2199 Год назад
He only needs to LEARN to appreciate what he has today, his family. His wife. He needs to see who is in his life, some people are alone and have nothing, tomorrow they might no be there with you. Dude write down every day 10 things you could be thankful for, if you wanted to. I’m sure you will find a lot of things. 👍
@estefaniapena1533
@estefaniapena1533 Год назад
This is such an honest conversation
@gemmaklooster3800
@gemmaklooster3800 Год назад
This one brought tears to my eyes.
@9liveslisa
@9liveslisa Год назад
Yeah. He's looking at all the external stuff. He needs to let that go and look at himself.
@SM-lg3mn
@SM-lg3mn Год назад
you ask good follow up questions 👍🏾
@show_me_your_kitties
@show_me_your_kitties 6 месяцев назад
Omg this is the best comment section of John Delony EVER!
@vanessapanek9959
@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад
The problem with people in your family is that they just assume that they know what’s best for you when really the only thing that they’re thinking about when they think about what’s best for you is what’s good for them
@sarahbelo8891
@sarahbelo8891 Год назад
Wow Dr D .. you are awesome🥺😭❤
@BG-nm5xt
@BG-nm5xt 5 месяцев назад
Yes, but he needs to review the past and family history in more detail instead of ignoring it, hiding it, denying it, pretending he doesn't care. Why was he not willing to say sorry to his wife? He needs to do that and look at what stops him from having empathy and apologizing to her.
@kellharris2491
@kellharris2491 Год назад
He needs to use EMDR and work through his past memories.
@bevbayb3029
@bevbayb3029 Год назад
The screen says the caller is in Lexington SC; at the beginning of the call, Dr. John said let’s go to David in Greenville SC. I’m in Lexington - Greenville is a good two hours (100 miles) away 😊
@Ad-Lo
@Ad-Lo 11 месяцев назад
He sounds clinically depressed, actually.
@TheKSexi
@TheKSexi Год назад
It’s a choice…your life is a sum of your decisions and all you have to do is make a choice to be better and to do better. I’m praying for him and his family! 🙏🏾I believe in you David! You CAN do this!
@LauraLParr
@LauraLParr Год назад
EMDR therapy is incredible
@stampandscrap7494
@stampandscrap7494 3 месяца назад
Changed my life
@freespiritwithnature4384
@freespiritwithnature4384 8 месяцев назад
David, you have to look in the mirror . You have to show up for yourself first. Loving yourself is so important. One day at a time. ❤
@elyse443
@elyse443 10 месяцев назад
This is so sad. Having terrible parents makes adult life so hard.😢
@kevinmcnulty7307
@kevinmcnulty7307 Год назад
Doesn't sound like this guy wants to do the work...exactly what Dr Deloney said...I'm always amazed at how Dr Deloney challenges people and Doesn't take their excuses
@denisseg9103
@denisseg9103 Год назад
Wow this call was amazing !!! I feel like hes willing to have a breakthrough ! he def needs a great therapist ! you will only hurt yourself more in the future trying to protect your ego now! You don’t deserve any more trauma sir ‘ don’t put yourself through that anguish of loosing everything ! “Don’t loose someone you love over your pride stick with your entree and get over your side”
@josalmon4742
@josalmon4742 Год назад
Oh John, a weary soul needed to hear a good word.
@randyadams1312
@randyadams1312 Год назад
Dr John repetitively yelled at the caller then told him to stop yelling
@victa5601
@victa5601 Год назад
I agree. I often find John is very harsh with the male callers. and much more kind & sympathetic to the women.
@jjgems5909
@jjgems5909 Год назад
Are we watching the same show?? He didn’t yell. I know how to yell and I know what yelling is, he was not yelling lol.
@Snipesshotz
@Snipesshotz Год назад
@@victa5601 yeah I noticed that too.
@vaska1999
@vaska1999 2 месяца назад
​@@jjgems5909 Delony was definitely yelling at this guy, shouting at him to stop yelling although the guy hadn't raised his voice at that point.
@OutCastSwagg
@OutCastSwagg Год назад
He just doesn’t know, John!
@deborahd2936
@deborahd2936 8 месяцев назад
I can’t believe how much this seems like my husband!!! I fell sorry for David and I feel sorry for my husband!
@stampandscrap7494
@stampandscrap7494 3 месяца назад
Don't let your sadness for your husband make it seem ok to acept abuse.
@vanessapanek9959
@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад
If I were to sit down and tell you my whole life story, all the music that you listen to on the radio right now would make a whole lot more sense
@CJG1419
@CJG1419 3 месяца назад
“I don’t think so” big clue right there
@SM7SM7SM7
@SM7SM7SM7 Год назад
He’s not going to do it. He’d rather walk away from his marriage than do the work to fix it. On the next challenge, he’ll tap out. So sad and pathetic really.
@show_me_your_kitties
@show_me_your_kitties 6 месяцев назад
For real
@cocobenji6123
@cocobenji6123 Год назад
He doesn't seem to care about anyone but himself.
@marytownsend6239
@marytownsend6239 Год назад
I'm sure she's already tired of his wall. If she's not getting it at home she'll get it somewhere else and his kids will be calling someone else daddy then maybe he'll feel something and knock down that wall!?!
@MrsJFJ
@MrsJFJ 2 месяца назад
This guy is a perfectionist at the core. But so much so that he takes up the whole masterpiece and gives up rather than saying I can do this paint stroke and his paint stroke and his paint stroke until it makes a beautiful picture. He needs to understand that that’s a perspective issue and he needs to change it. He needs to be willing to live in the present.
@victa5601
@victa5601 Год назад
I find it a little painful listening to how harshly John talks to this man. Sounds to me like he needs a giant hug.
@show_me_your_kitties
@show_me_your_kitties 6 месяцев назад
Nope. Men like this destroy whole relationships and families.
@coscarov
@coscarov Год назад
he knows, it's just not a setting to say it
@myflippinlife181
@myflippinlife181 Год назад
This one got to me. 💔
@vanessapanek9959
@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад
The song runaway train is about when I took off from Minnesota
@markvb5592
@markvb5592 Год назад
I didn’t like when Dr.John said you know and David said I do not know because I’ve been down that road.
@lestercaldera3776
@lestercaldera3776 Год назад
He is making way too many excuses
@thorshuatus
@thorshuatus 7 месяцев назад
As a veteran, this guy is similar to me.
@PrinceKima_12
@PrinceKima_12 5 месяцев назад
"No!No!No!No!" John. "Stop yelling!" Also John .
@charlotteboyett-napper4780
@charlotteboyett-napper4780 6 месяцев назад
This guys a jerk to his family and no one calls him out on it. He can’t even see it himself. The best way to love someone is to tell the truth in love.
@rachelkruse9087
@rachelkruse9087 Год назад
It seems like there is one common denominator in all of this man's relationships. He needs to look inward and have some gratitude for his wife and kids and parents. Everything sucks is not an answer.
@vanessapanek9959
@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад
Friends are going to come and go out of your life some quicker than most. Some will be with friends with you for your entire life. Those are your ride and die of friends.
@sandicook10
@sandicook10 Год назад
Lost cause he cannot even come up with one simple task to accomplish
@davidmilhouscarter8198
@davidmilhouscarter8198 Год назад
5:17 “This is Fine.”
@jim2386
@jim2386 10 месяцев назад
My inner parent eventually went “well fine then, don’t try. Give up” Reverse psychology baby! He is acting like a child so it just might work.
@alyssawalters7148
@alyssawalters7148 10 месяцев назад
Dang, this guy is so uninvolved and wants everything with no work. Yikes... Glad Dr. John wasn't scared to call him out.
@The.Meat.Sweats
@The.Meat.Sweats Год назад
So, my wife tells me exactly what she needs so there is no mistake. Maybe his wife needs to be more specific? I don’t know, I’m just tossing out thoughts.
@cocobenji6123
@cocobenji6123 Год назад
If he says he yells alot maybe he just doesn't listen to her
@TLC717
@TLC717 Год назад
He said she told him what she needed... I've already forgotten... was it emotional intimacy? Sometimes the partner/ spouse does tell the other one what they need and the person can't give it to them even if they try. This is the situation I'm in with my husband. I've told him repeatedly what I need and I don't think he can do it. I'm not even saying I know he hasn't tried. Maybe he has and I'm not aware he's trying because he simply is incapable of expressing his feelings. I even question if he feels love, real love, for anyone. I think he wants too but something inside him is shut off. No one can give you what you need if they aren't capable of it.
@show_me_your_kitties
@show_me_your_kitties 6 месяцев назад
Lol like talking to a toddler
@tonipetrova
@tonipetrova Год назад
To the caller: From the little you mention about your family, I feel that your family felt shame and guilt over whatever happened with your brother. Many times people associate with the actions of other family members. If your brother did something wrong, then you may think you are bad, because you are related. I think that feeling of guilt was passed down to the rest of the family members. Also, I may be wrong, but I feel that your family is not the kind of people who express their feelings, show their love, or talk openly and somehow you were missing a deeper emotional connection with them. I feel that now you feel empty, in a sense you can't give love and be caring to your wife and kids, when you felt neglected as a kid. The anger issue is many times associated with feeling powerless. Anger can be managed, there are many self-awareness techniques, so you can exercise control of our actions, so you can channel our emotions in a non-violent and healthy way. To me the greatest issue is this feeling of not happy with what you have. You have a lot of blessings, you have your health, your family, kids, a job... What is that you don't have? Is there a missing piece, that if you find, it will make you value what you have now? They say love what you have before life teaches you to love what you lost. I hope you find help that can guide you. Best of luck.
@vanessapanek9959
@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад
Reactionary abuse is something that happens with people that have been traumatized so long by the perpetrator which is normally a narcissistic person or a covert narcissistic person and so then what happens is the person that’s getting abused by these two types of personality traits well all of a sudden snap one day and it’s called reactionary abuse. It means that you’re being abusive to me and I’m reacting violently orwith my mouth reactionary abuse
@a.n.6159
@a.n.6159 Год назад
Sorry but this guy is exhausting. He's lucky she hasn't already left him. I would have.
@wnm8888
@wnm8888 Год назад
The caller that blamed his ex wife and current wife for all of his problems is much worse.
@brendaleverick3655
@brendaleverick3655 3 месяца назад
The one common denominator is him.
@vanessapanek9959
@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад
Stop getting married if you’re not in it to begin with it’s a waste of time for you and her
@ryansack5198
@ryansack5198 3 месяца назад
Dude sounds very immature and like he struggles with empathy.
@jjgems5909
@jjgems5909 Год назад
I figured out that holding on to the mistakes our parents made is never a solution for anything. My parents made a lot of mistakes and for years I blamed them for certain behaviors I had as a parent and a wife. But as I’ve gotten older I realized that not only do I make the same mistakes sometimes but now I’m in their shoes and I realize how hard it probably was for them as it is for me at times. Dr. Emerson Eggerich has this great line that really helped me “your response is your responsibility”. Realizing that I am accountable for my own sins and actions and that The Lord holds me accountable for them and I have to stop blaming my parents or my kids or my spouse for MY behavior. Remembering that apart from my upbringing I have a sinful nature, sinful desires, sinful thoughts that I have to be accountable for and they have to be brought under the submission of Christ EVERYDAY, and for those days when I do screw up He reminds me of His enduring grace and His grace sustains me. His grace reminds me that joy comes in the morning. That even if I screwed up an hour ago, I can go to my kids or spouse and apologize for my behavior and ask for their forgiveness and vis versa.
@Matt-cr4vv
@Matt-cr4vv 10 месяцев назад
It’s hard to not hold the mistakes our parents made against them but I think as we grow we understand that we can’t do that. When I was younger (17-19 or so) I noticed that I had the quick anger that my father had growing up that I absolutely didn’t ever want to have. Luckily I eventually caught on to what I was doing and worked through it and now at 29 that doesn’t exist for me and it’s hard to even grasp what it used to be. To the point that when people who know me now hear about that stage of life are surprised because they can’t see it. But letting go of where they fell short is one of the most freeing things you get when you recognize they were human and did their best. I now have a great relationship with them that’s healthier than it’s ever been but that would’ve never happened if I stayed locked into the times they fell short.
@vsand9798
@vsand9798 9 месяцев назад
My parents made a lot of mistakes. A lot. When I tried to fix that in my own parenting I made my own mistakes. Now that my son is parenting he will try to fix mine and make other mistakes. Parenting comes with unsolvable problems. Like going back into the past and trying to fix your future, there is bound to be other unintended consequences. It’s so difficult to raise something a complex as a little human being. Too many variables, so we just do the best we can and realize our parents did too.
@lindacornell7881
@lindacornell7881 Год назад
He wants to control everything and can't except he was not able to control the past to prevent what happened to his brother he taking responsibility for things that are not his fault. He has no room in he's life for anything else
@josephmbimbi
@josephmbimbi 2 месяца назад
I know it's not ok to be judgmental and stuff, but i can feel the narcissism: the fragile ego, the yoyo self-esteem, the reactivity, the lack of accountablity for his own wrongdoings ("get over it"), the gaslighting (accusing others of stuff they didn't do but are unsure, just to shake them), blaming others, etc. He acts like an asshole, he's semi-aware of it, but it's all "poor me", "i can't do it", "i am not good enough", through the video, and yikes. All he's interesting in transfering his shame and guilt to somebody else: "my wife won't believe me", like the problem is his wife not giving him a second chance, and not him actually doing something and showing it to his wife. I doubt there is a way to reach him, i don't think he wants to be reached and stand up at that point, he wants to be pitied and have the world bend to his whims and tantrums
@vanessapanek9959
@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад
Lane Staley is the best friend of mine ever since I was like the age of four, he’s the godfather to my oldest son
@DogmaGirlAD
@DogmaGirlAD Год назад
Why is "The Graduate" in the background? It's definitely an interesting story in terms of the mental health of the characters, But also quite messed up decisions made by said characters.
@vanessapanek9959
@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад
Explain it, sir for one I tried to commit suicide twice second of all I overdosed, and was in a coma for three days, and it was all happened on Labor Day weekend years apart. I almost died. I had a death experience in his car. I almost died in Lane Staley’s car.
@vanessapanek9959
@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад
The song by Alice In Chains down in a hole if you want to get an idea of who I am as a person when I talk to my friends versus my family go listen to that song
@JG-mt3rp
@JG-mt3rp 21 день назад
Vilifying the brother wvo assaulted his abuser is so gross. Shame on you.
@ghostophelia2245
@ghostophelia2245 Месяц назад
Good on him for trying to figure things out, but he needs a LOT of work and a healthy dose of self awareness
@vanessapanek9959
@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад
When it comes to family, you can’t pick and choose who your family are because your blood related but you can’t pick and choose who you let in and out of your life when it comes to family if they don’t bring value to your life and all they do is steal your inner peacethey’re not valuable enough to be in your inner bubble
@lauriesstory5894
@lauriesstory5894 9 месяцев назад
This guy just wants to be the victim so badly.
@vanessapanek9959
@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад
That’s the difference between dating marriage and divorce
@vanessapanek9959
@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад
My “” husband that didn’t want to get papers for our marriage to make it valid for 30 years knows that divorce papers are coming and why and he earned every page of it
@thermalreboot
@thermalreboot Год назад
Empirical data? I had a girlfriend who thought I walked too heavily and it bothered her. Is that Empirical data? I had another tell me I carried my stress in my arms. What am I supposed to do with that?
@babyloobibovski2947
@babyloobibovski2947 Год назад
Been there bro. I told my ex-wife I was depressed and unhappy with everything in my life except her and asked her not to leave me. A week later she left me haha
@babyloobibovski2947
@babyloobibovski2947 Год назад
And she cited that discussion as a big part of her leaving
@anneshirley9560
@anneshirley9560 Год назад
@@babyloobibovski2947 awe, I'm sorry. :(
@marla-singer
@marla-singer Год назад
i think because Dr. John also sensed his anger, as does the caller’s wife, it became more of a fact (he’s angry) rather than just an opinion
@reginasemenenko148
@reginasemenenko148 Год назад
@@babyloobibovski2947 sorry. That is not right. Of all people she should have helped/supported you.
@Kevintendo
@Kevintendo Год назад
Lmaoooo I love the comment on the “best mental healthcare podcast” 😂
@Chosen302
@Chosen302 10 месяцев назад
I love when a caller that’s not an expert, has issues, and is calling an expert aka a DOCTOR and then argues with the doctor that he isn’t angry lmao Sorry that was funny and so common with damaged men.
@show_me_your_kitties
@show_me_your_kitties 6 месяцев назад
I have never laughed during a call before, but I I with this guy. The unawareness is crazy lol
@ganymedehedgehog371
@ganymedehedgehog371 4 месяца назад
Yeah I think he wanted John to also blame his parents
@desimo2686
@desimo2686 Месяц назад
He doesnt want to. They was he says, "i already done that.... So ..." He doesnt want to hear the truth from dr john
@angelabarton5146
@angelabarton5146 5 месяцев назад
13:19 why wouldn’t you mean that? Maybe because that would mean taking accountability for his actions? His fragile ego can’t handle admitting that the change he wants is in himself
@rosamoreno4794
@rosamoreno4794 Год назад
Oh man, this guy is going to hear this back and cringe 😬
Далее
My Wife Wants a Divorce (I Was Totally Blindsided)
17:21
My Wife and I Fight Over Everything!
17:10
Просмотров 51 тыс.
Guess The Drawing! ✍️✨🧐 #shortsart
00:14
Просмотров 3 млн
D3 Ваз 2107 Не умри от зависти!
18:57
I’m Always Angry (And I’m Tired of It!)
24:07
Просмотров 31 тыс.
Dissatisfied With My Marriage (Should I End It?)
17:56
How to deal with a lying spouse [as a christian]
21:25
Просмотров 1,6 тыс.
My Wife Is An Alcoholic And I Want A Divorce
12:58
Просмотров 90 тыс.
Your Show Makes Me Question My Marriage
18:50
Просмотров 92 тыс.
Why Did My Wife Leave Me?
21:02
Просмотров 134 тыс.