My Wife Has Checked Out of Our Marriage (What Should I Do?)

Подписаться 709 тыс.

Просмотров 142 тыс.

50% 1

My Wife Has Checked Out of Our Marriage (What Should I Do?)
Send John your questions. Leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291 or email www.johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
As heard on this episode:
- BetterHelp - bit.ly/3seoBCe
Get John’s new book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future here: bit.ly/3Lmf076
Get a money plan for real life! Start your free trial of Ramsey+: bit.ly/2JcSe6H
Learn how to change your thoughts, change your behaviors, and change your life. Subscribe to the Dr. John Delony’s show!
ru-vid.com?...
Twitter (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( JohnDelony/).
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show.
If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
Ramsey Network (Subscribe Now!)
• The Ramsey Show (Highlights):
ru-vid.com...
• The Ramsey Show (Full Episodes): ru-vid.com...
• The Dr. John Delony Show: ru-vid.com?...
• The Rachel Cruze Show: ru-vid.com...
• The Table with Anthony ONeal: ru-vid.com...
• The Ken Coleman Show: ru-vid.com...
• The Christy Wright Show: ru-vid.com...
• EntreLeadership: ru-vid.com...

Опубликовано:

30 июн 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 978

@GrowingGraycefully 3 года назад

Yelling and screaming at your wife, telling her she's not keeping up with the house, kids, routine. Sounds like a dream. I wonder why she's checked out?

@lorrainem8234 Год назад

🤣👊💯

@melsmith3662 Год назад

Exactly.

@PeepersonCreedo Год назад

You must not have listened to the whole video. Still yet, it’s his word we have to take with a grain of salt. But he claims that before it got to this point he treated her differently and nothing ever changed, so it got to the point where he’s treating her like another child.

@kellharris2491 Год назад

@@PeepersonCreedo he controls all of the money. She is a SAHW. He is financially abusing her.

@PeepersonCreedo Год назад

@@kellharris2491 it’s a choice to be a stay at home parent? And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But Don’t say someone is financially abusing someone because the other person doesn’t go get a job

@bkucenski 3 года назад

If you treat your spouse like a child, don't be surprised when they grow up and move out.

@laurahonaker2805 2 года назад

best comment.

@laurahenry3562 Год назад

That is to funny lol

@reinamacaren-a4132 Год назад

Nice deep analogy 😘

@kimmicole991 4 месяца назад

Nice!!

@progress_over_perfection 4 месяца назад

😮🤩🤯

@olivialam3746 3 года назад

"How do you bring her joy?" *dead silence*

@rebeccaoprea9917 3 года назад

Oh please , we all get in a relationship rut . I’ve been married for 20 years and we need to work on things . We lose what we take for granted .

@Tanya7774 3 года назад

A rut is a small hill to climb, this sounds like years of her feeling like she's not enough because he makes sure she knows what she's doing "wrong". He can't even give a reason on how he brings her joy. If my husband of 23yrs and I were in a rut and someone asked me that I would either be able to name something that I do for him or a light would go off and I would think I need to start doing xyz again and I know the same would go for him. We've been in rut, we've gone thru major things, but it has brought us together in the end not further apart. And never once have one of us left for any period of time. That would never make anyone feel secure. And we still need to work at it, as life and relationships are ever evolving.

@tonioceans7727 3 года назад

Honestly the "dead silence" probably IS what brings her joy. He spends too much energy talking her down and making her "accountable for responsibilities" because he doesn't see the "work and commitment". Not hearing him talk her down would definitely bring a sense of joy.

@beccadotelpy 2 года назад

That spoke louder than any of the things he said.

@HeatherDMorris 2 года назад

Ugg.".how are you improving" ? That sux to hear . Sounds narcissistic

@ladysparkle6784 3 года назад

I guarantee she’s told him numerous times what she needs and it’s fallen on deaf ears.

@DavidRamseyIII 3 года назад

Absolutely. Dave always talks about the wife suddenly being “done” and nothing can bring her back after years of suffering and giving chances and hoping for behaviour change. A really sad situation but it’s likely too little too late

@CrystalM1917 3 года назад

@@DavidRamseyIII but according to him she is the one asking him to hold on...

@jayquelen 3 года назад

And I guarantee he’s more invested than she is, sad all around.

@chernagast6754 3 года назад

@@CrystalM1917 If he separated their finances she may be terrified to have him leave her in poverty with kids. And his constant harassment about chores has destroyed her self confidence. She may no longer have the courage to leave. Been there, done that, recovered. He had me convinced that every single problem in the marriage was my fault.

@probablynot1368 3 года назад

Add in the fact that she was home with three children all day, every day, during COVID. For the past year, she’s been dealing with home-schooling where the Zoom lessons end. Add in the daily chores she does (including HIS list of expected top of the list chores). I didn’t hear him say that he’s taken on additional household chores so that she can make sure the kids’ school work is finished. I didn’t hear him say he loves her, he adores her, he will do anything to hold onto the relationship and keep it whole. A woman needs to feel loved, cherished, beautiful, and most of all, she needs to feel that she wants to be a better version of herself for her partner and children. She’s giving up. Heck, 3 kids at home 24-7, COVID isolation, and a husband who measures her worth based on completed assigned chores, cooking, and handling money would be enough to drive me into depression. I feel sorry for both of them. They are arguing but don’t know how to solve their soul-crushing issues.

@kimmywimmy7305 3 года назад

She’s not avoiding accountability or responsibility, she’s avoiding HIM. Sounds like he’s broken her.

@gabrielamartiniuc6322 Год назад

I agree but as much as I also avoided my then abusive ex I never failed to clean , cook or take proper care of the kids.

@RearviewMirror-ij2pr Год назад

Exception, This is a perfect example of the "modern woman" or Feminist. Take your pick.

@vickimerritt2832 Год назад

@@castiel4746 women are not slaves,sex objects, or only domestic slaves.

@kellharris2491 Год назад

@@gabrielamartiniuc6322 according to him who controls all of the money.

@drew2fast489 Год назад

@@kellharris2491 That's right, avoid ALL accountability.

@ropete33 11 месяцев назад

All I needed to hear was "Divorced twice, problems with relationships" its you, my man.

@BuddhaBeanie 2 месяца назад

Not every time. I married two assholes and then found a great guy. True enough that my choices were wrong. However, I was sure that a loving attitude on my part would relay to loving kindness growing on their parts. So, I thought love trumped all. Not true.

@goldenknightsfanatic Месяц назад

100%

@EduardoDuran-bs4br 11 дней назад

Do you know how many times she's been divorced? Didn't think so. Dumb4ss.

@suen5006 3 года назад

He's a joyless task master. He has no answer for how he brings her joy. He treats her like an employee.

@JourneyDestination 10 месяцев назад

Inaccurate - she is on social media all day. I don’t blame him for feeling the way he does.

@69429boss 10 месяцев назад

@@JourneyDestinationshe's on social media coz he neglects her. Chicken or the egg

@JourneyDestination 10 месяцев назад

@@69429boss wrong! Women have a problem with social media consumption and it’s only just begging to rear it’s ugly head.

@sean4060 10 месяцев назад

Nah, the man is working. He is doing his job. She chose to stay at home and not doing her job

@sean4060 10 месяцев назад

@@69429boss She neglects her kids too. What does his neglect have to do with the kids ?😊

@johnharding23 3 года назад

guy has zero self awareness. you have 2 failed marriages, about to be 3 buddy. time to do some self reflection.

@mrseliephant 3 года назад

I was thinking the same thing. If you have had multiple marriages maybe you need to look in the mirror and figure out all the why's.

@catblack4091 3 года назад

My guess is wife 4 will be along shortly and she won't be good enough either.

@rebeccaoprea9917 3 года назад

It’s takes two though .

@consumerdebtchitchat 3 года назад

I agree with John. The common denominator all three times....

@dghvdhfhhb6405 3 года назад

Maybe marriage & relationships are not for him, He should think about being single or be in a relationship, not get married & not have her move in with you

@heidibonjour Год назад

He pushes her ? He tries to hold her accountable? She doesn't do what he says? He tries to "include" her in the conversation? And he wonders why his wife is checked out of the marriage? John said it, get humble and ask her, "how can I bring you joy?"

@michellesimmons3150 5 месяцев назад

military men are VERY controlling

@vickimerritt2832 5 месяцев назад

@@michellesimmons3150 absolutely, they want to hear yes sir and be saluted, Arrogant abusers, and known cheaters,. I guarentee he married her to tend in servitude to his kids by the other women.

@aaabbb8812 3 месяца назад

He is SUCH a male appendage!!! Jeez!!!

@EduardoDuran-bs4br 11 дней назад

She doesn't do anything. Stay at home mom and can't even keep the house clean. Sounds like she's a slob.

@paprika8d9 3 года назад

She’s depressed and in a loveless marriage. He wants a maid mommy wife and she wants support..

@Wheres_Jackie 2 года назад

She does nothing yet it's all fault? At least he's trying he actually has a job. She sits at home whining lol

@kind2423 2 года назад

@@Wheres_Jackie stay at home mom is a full time job

@sucks2bthem Год назад

@@kind2423 yeah if you're actually putting in work.

@amorl4520 Год назад

I was just going to say that

@Halgame99 Год назад

You are blaming him and making your own bs assumptions

@hanooi7450 3 года назад

This guy is the constant between all his failed marriages.

@dakotasikes6690 Год назад

Ikr and for all his accountability and responsibility talk I feel he's never taken any steps to own up to his faults

@michellesimmons3150 5 месяцев назад

admittedly cheated in at least one....probably was controlling in them, and now he is a bully, manipulator and control freak to this poor woman. I bet she cant get a job because he wont allow it or blocks her attempts

@marcusmagnificus1984 15 дней назад

Gotcha.

@rebeccaoprea9917 3 года назад

Don’t “help” her by telling her what to do or pointing out what’s wrong . Actually help her . See the need and meet it . Your wife doesn’t need “tough love.”

@divarenee8324 3 года назад

Hey doctor D if this woman wants to stay with this idiot then clearly she likes what's going on now I'm a black woman is far as I'm concerned slavery was abolished in 1865 she needs to go move get rid of his loser I get ourself a hero because clearly he does not job Description😂sincerely the Diva07111

@divarenee8324 3 года назад

Hey doctor D when does this Indian stop being a drill sergeant and go to man camp and learn how to be a husband????😇

@RealGalaxyGamers 3 года назад

No such thing as tough love! It’s just love

@laurak436 2 года назад

Wow how sad! This guy sounds like the worst husband ever

@natemekis3959 Год назад

Sounds like a husband you wants to married to an adult not a child.

@dextermcgrubbin Год назад

We met at a bar, later got pregnant, decided to stick it out. Not exactly the best start.

@janellhirschoff651 3 года назад

This woman sounds like me... she’s depressed and doesn’t feel appreciated or full-filled by the daily tasks of a stay at home mom. She needs encouragement and appreciation

@ZukoTheShinigami 3 года назад

With remote learning, you could probably learn a work from home skill and get a degree. Coding, Technical recruiting (highly recommend especially for women who wouldn't want to become engineers) , call center, etc.

@fauxbro1983 3 года назад

Nah. Her job is too be a stay at home mom. If a man wasn't providing at his job you'd be calling him a deadbeat

@ZukoTheShinigami 3 года назад

@@fauxbro1983 People that work remotely stay at home....

@kristic4472 3 года назад

yup

@mirjanapucarevic2105 3 года назад

He should hire like a cleaning lady once week sometimes he ruined her mentally she feels worthless he already had failed marriages wonder why?

@Casinogirl56 3 года назад

I think there isn't an ounce of compromise in this guy and his wife is just sick of not ever being able to live up to his unreasonably high standards. The fact that this is his THIRD wife speaks volumes.

@5yogurt 3 года назад

Plus he doesn't even know why she is checked out...

@NothingForYou283 2 года назад

Exactly. I’m living this now. I have a full time career and still expected to do every single thing. I’m not allowed to be exhausted, tired, take a break, want some time to myself, etc. every single day it’s something. Stress at work and stress at home.

@AMurphySharp 2 года назад

He is so full of it!

@JKNat9004 Год назад

@@NothingForYou283 I understand and can relate. At some point we have to stop trying to be Sweet Merry Sunshine.

@reginasemenenko148 Год назад

100%!

@oncetwice5942 Год назад

I would be checked out too if someone was yelling at me all the time.

@lizaw.7313 3 года назад

Wives check out when they don't feel safe and important and aren't being listened to by their husband. She needs regular breaks and may be overwhelmed or depressed. Moms are often ignored and overlooked. You need to be a part of teaching your kids too and back her up!!!

@14margott 10 месяцев назад

They check out when there is no Love left and they did with the mourning of separation and loss already within the marriage for years.

@lindalund9621 4 месяца назад

She need a job, she need Het own money so she can divorce

@purpurina5663 8 дней назад

I've told men a few times... even my brother: when a woman doesn't say anything, it's because she feels she's reached the end. She may have even stopped caring. We try and explain, show, ask, discuss, even at risk of it being taken as nagging, because we care. And then one day we're done and that's it. Men believe they won when a woman is "finally" silent. Wrong -means she is, as he says, checked out.

@refiloendlovu6518 Год назад

The silence when he asked how do you bring her joy/safety. I actually cried..♥️

@SomeBody-ce3gq Год назад

My heart dropped 😭

@IMBIue 10 месяцев назад

I thought to myself "Huh, that's actually a good question 😳" I don't think many of us guys think about that sometimes. We just assume by being kind and nice to our wife/partner it's enough, but to bring joy to that person we love, I don't think most of us do enough.

@sgagas1 7 месяцев назад

Same 🥺

@kingzana 6 месяцев назад

I liked that at least he gave it a deep thought.

@angelabarton5146 6 месяцев назад

@@kingzanawhat I heard in the silence “joy isn’t in the job description” 😢

@selliepaddie2066 10 месяцев назад

Dude said "responsibility" so many times I almost didn't do MY dishes lmao

@elainenilsson5472 2 года назад

This guy sounds like a ball of fun.

@oncetwice5942 Год назад

I like the sarcasm.

@chrissmarie455 3 года назад

He sounds more like a manager than a husband, 3 kids you can clean up the house 20 min later it’s a disaster again this dude should stay home and she should go to work 🤷🏻‍♀️

@britneyog9537 3 года назад

He is super defensive. You can hear it. Asking what her goals are instead of "what dreams do you have that I can share with you", "how can I make your life better". It's not hard, men! You are right. I'm a stay-at-home to a 2 and 4 year old. I work part time a few days a month and my husband GETS IT as I work 14 hr shifts. I'm just thankful the kids are fed, clean, and happy. He has never asked me why isn't the house clean, a hot meal cooked, etc. going back to work part time was the best thing for us. But, he never asked me those things before I went back to work or even before kids. But, at least he gets it now that we have kids.

@timothygibney159 2 года назад

Women don't stay around with beta husbands who earn less than they do. As men we have to be superior to keep respect and attraction

@KathyBath 3 года назад

He wants her to do things his way. Nobody can do everything in somebody else's way.

@luvofcooki3s 3 года назад

He broke her Emotionally and mentally. Simple as that. She checked out because she probably feels like no matter what she does, it won’t ever meet his expectations. She won’t leave because she honors her marriage and family commitments. She just doesn’t know what to do.

@loki6253 3 года назад

Oh my those words sting because I have said just those exact words. She loves him, but gave up. What she wants from him, no what she needs from him, she will never get.

@texan903 3 года назад

Once the kids are grown or one or both parties begin an affair, the other will eventually file for divorce. It is only a matter of time.

@Fiery154 3 года назад

@luvofcooki3s this is my life 😔

@liquidbreakdancin 2 года назад

His love language is acts of service. And they need to both know that and get VERY specific.

@jfloresdrums 2 года назад

Or she simply doesn't know how to deal with confrontation and or emotions like an adult

@pamb7560 3 года назад

She’s not a child....you can’t command her to do as you please, sir. She’s riding it out for the kids’ sake. I feel sad for the poor lady....

@bluesun2001 3 года назад

My husband treated me like his employee or some sort of a contractor, so I quit too. Provided I've been an awesome mom and a very frugal wife, stayed in great shape from day one and due to my minimalism and good admin skills we were able to save and gain assets. I hope he is happy now as his "useless wife" (his exact words) is gone. Cheers, ladies!

@razmiddle9410 3 года назад

Is he happier? You would know, right, since you're still in contact as co-parents?

@bluesun2001 3 года назад

@@razmiddle9410 He seems sad as there is no one for him to boss around. I wish him well though.

@LOLZHAHANOTFUNNY 3 года назад

I'm sorry to hear that, you sounds like a catch in all honesty. I'm sure he's very aware of the void in his life that you used to occupy and bring fulfillment to.

@SummeRain783 3 года назад

Wow but your ex sounds abusive as well. This guy doesn’t sound abusive, just unaware. I am sorry you went through that.

@SummeRain783 3 года назад

@Heinrich Himmler she’s not bitter. She’s hurt and has a right to be. No one should be treated that way. It sounds she came out of an abusive situation with the whole “useless wife” remark. Men or women like that are never happy no matter what.

@ruthgovanbader 3 года назад

His answer to what you do to bring her joy... acknowledges when SHE cooks dinner, when SHE dresses up... they are things SHE is doing! Saying thank you does not count!

@sydneydinks 11 месяцев назад

100% true!

@show_me_your_kitties 10 месяцев назад

Exactly

@CrystalM1917 3 года назад

They got married bc she was pregnant not bc they were in love. Now it's 11 years later and the kids are getting older and it's just becoming more and more apparent.

@zeal4god402 3 года назад

I agree. Bible states flee fornication for a reason

@SummeRain783 3 года назад

Love is a bit overrated really. Many people who married because they fell in love also divorced later because they said they no longer loved each other. As a Muslim woman I agree with the above comment to stay away from fornicating because it’s against my religious beliefs as well. But I don’t think he did anything wrong by wanting to fulfill a duty to give his unborn child a home and family. They made a mistake ok, but now they’re trying to make it right which is good. Commitment and sense of responsibility often goes a long way compared to just “love” which comes and goes. Plus if you want my take, this man does love his wife enough to make this call. I think if he starts easing up a bit and letting her do some things she enjoys they will have a happy marriage. They deserve it.

@gigi8528 3 года назад

My thoughts exactly

@d-nise6364 3 года назад

It’s normal to fall in and out of love in a longterm relationship.....the important thing is that BOTH make a conscious effort to make it work...marriage is daily work.

@nt3833 3 года назад

Crystal exactly! There has to be a foundation of love, and maybe it was never fully there in the first place. I’m all for marriage and commitment, but if both people are miserable and there’s no foundation of love that’s very difficult.

@cg741graf5 3 года назад

He’s not owning his actions.

@Chances29 3 года назад

Imagine working a job without a paycheck. A job that seems almost invisible, because that’s what housework is. Meal planning, cooking, cleaning, laundry, school runs, helping kids with their homework. I’d be depressed, too. The kids won’t notice the work. No one says, “Good job, mom.” This husband may not appreciate her enough. She should leave him with the kids for 2 weeks while she goes on vacation. I wonder how he would like doing all the housework. I work and my husband does too. We share household chores, and even though it sucks, we get it done. Our relationship isn’t perfect but he appreciates me and I appreciate him. Having small kids is so hard, I get it. But don’t give up on your partner. Say thank you. Say “you’re doing great.” Say, “I see you work so hard and you deserve a break.” That goes a long way.

@roxyperson8328 3 года назад

Not to mention it’s the most criticized job. I’m a stay at home mom and what I hate most is no matter what I do my life’s work is scrutinized by those I am around. When I’m at a restaurant, T-ball game, home, in-laws, church. Everyone feels it is their job to tell me how good or bad I do at my job. I don’t get to turn off and unwind from a crazy day. I don’t have something to fall back on and be successful at when my life at home isn’t perfect. That’s all I have. It’s so unfulfilling.

@butterflygirl2285 2 года назад

Being a good mother is certainly not valued in this society. The ironic part is that it costs a lot of money to replace the duties a stay at home mother normally does: like easily 6 digit figures per year.

@newbeginnings9457 2 года назад

That’s the problem! I take care of my Kids!!! Answer: you’re supposed to take care of your Kids! It’s not a Job! Why does every woman say it’s a Job?

@butterflygirl2285 2 года назад

@@newbeginnings9457 Because it is not recognized as being a valuable role, and is taken for granted by many people.

@Ruth-df9be 2 года назад

@@butterflygirl2285 absolutely true!!!

@laurayoung7862 3 года назад

A housewife housemom is one of thee hardest thankless unacknowledged job in the world! Its psychologically exhausting. Be her support, be her partner, love her and let her know she is beautiful and her job is meaningful.

@bobberry1463 2 года назад

That only true if she actually doing the job. He said she not keeping up with the house so the house is duty and he said she not keeping up with the kids. So what on earth is she doing?

@fauxbro1983 2 года назад

Lol. You ever work in a coal mine

@fauxbro1983 2 года назад

No it's not. Being a housewife isn't like working in a coal mine.

@matthewholmes899 2 года назад

Laura Young, I copied your comment and turned it into my phone background.

@kellharris2491 Год назад

@@bobberry1463 according to him. He controls all of the money. I don't trust him at all. He is a control freak.

@lotusflowerfamily4024 2 года назад

It sucks that many men will be told over and over what is needed from them and they still don’t know why their partner is over it

@ibbjos08 3 года назад

Jesus is the caller even married to this woman? He's acting like he doesn't know anything about her.

@dnt_vtepedr 3 года назад

When he tells the story about why he married her he makes it sound like he was obligated because of the circimstances. He resents being with her and she can sense that.

@sweetheart9659 3 года назад

YES!!!!! 💔

@nt3833 3 года назад

I agree with you, however it’s probably not one-sided. She may resent him as well. And maybe the bigger problem is they weren’t compatible in the first place.

@HPLaserJet2100tn 4 месяца назад

He could have avoided all of this by being responsible with his sperm and only allowing it into a woman if he intended to have a child. I am guessing he felt entitled to climaxing inside of her

@denisehulick47 Год назад

I've always been expected to do everything even while working full-time. The final straw was when we both walked in from work, within minutes of each other, and I started dressing to go snowblow the 8 -12" of snow so I could get my car into the driveway because it was obvious he wasn't going to. Just as I'm ready to walk out the door, he asked me what's for dinner?! GAME OVER! 🤡 I know there are good men out there but I'm tired of 'weeding them out'. I LOVE being single and doing whatever the hell I want, when I want! 😁 I'm only hearing one side here but I can just imagine what she's going through.

@scorpification Год назад

👏👏👏 yes! Yes times a million!

@slaucInDaHouse Год назад

Not everyone is like you ex. Me for example did everything for her. I was normal famuly guy. Loving her, respected her, not beeing abusive in any way. But she just could not handle the fact that here and there evey couple have problems and not for everything is ones fault. So after 15 years she says we do t think the same way i want out.... Pfff

@danilaroche1156 Год назад

I wouldn't divorce over that. Clearly he wasn't treating you honorably. Many men these days are wusses. Can't y'all get get Godly counsel?

@bettysmith4527 11 месяцев назад

YES, I gave dating a try, got cheated on, treated like I was an object he owned once, cheated on a few more times, and went on some dates where it was obvious the guy was married or otherwise taken and I would be his "side dish". I gave up.... Happily single now for many years and enjoying my freedom!

@javiermorales365 10 месяцев назад

Here is the question, did you try to work it out with him and organize and work together? If not you are as fault as he is. You know why u like being by yourself? Cause no responsibility only to yourself. When you are married you work for the family NOT just yourself. Eventually you will feel lonely cause we are human we need human touch and that partner that feels that emptiness

@buttcheeksmcgee4272 3 года назад

Being a housewife and mother is so hard. I never get a day off. It's 7 days a week.... If my husband demanded more and more I would be checked out too. Be eachothers love and support. Give her a break man. It's tough....hold her hand, kiss her, and tell her you love her.

@lt.2992 Год назад

I don’t think they’re in it for love from the start. They had an unwanted pregnancy and after that they just “went with it” and “kept pushing”. This lady haven’t had the space to realize who she is & must feel like a filler character in his & the kids life. I’m a milso and hairstylist and this is how 80% of spouses operate because they’re reduced to an accessory in their husbands life. The simple act of getting a hair appointment or a treat once in a blue moon is their husbands way of keeping them “at bay”. The number of consultations I did where hair was discussed 5 min and the other 10-15 min were spent discussing the husband’s budget & schedule. Very often they argued “my husband can’t stay with the kids more than 2 hours” 🤦🏻‍♀️

@danilaroche1156 Год назад

Being a mom when my kids were small was the hardest thing. I was depleted. This man needs to cherish her. I wonder if he knows the Lord Jesus? Probably not.

@erikkasepiphany Год назад

Men are so clueless of the mental strain of motherhood.

@Jenny-nk1et 7 месяцев назад

It hard been a house wife 19 years now intimacy and sex isnt where it used to be now i feel stuck

@shimmeringchimps3842 Год назад

I've known a lot of military men, and I noticed whenever a group of them were together, the conversation would often turn to viciously complaining about their wives (and disparaging women in general), yet they were SUPER eager to get married and many of them had gotten married within weeks of meeting the woman. Maybe it was some sort of status symbol, especially since it allowed young recruits to live off base and get a much bigger paycheck, but many of the older ones had been married three or four times. I mean, chanting "Napalm, it sticks to kids...women and invalids" during PT while also loving a wife does not compute.

@sydneydinks 11 месяцев назад

Big yikes...

@devadii24 11 месяцев назад

Wowza

@contrarian9999 9 месяцев назад

Military men for all of history have been homoerotic and woman-hating. This isn't new. They need to leave women alone and be with each other.

@michellesimmons3150 5 месяцев назад

it is all about image, as they climb rank they looks at spouses....my husband was in 30 years active. A good spouse will help your image and career....even if things at home are toxic, as long as she shows up being the super spouse, volunteering and showing up at events like a team with the soldier...it builds his chances at climbing ranks above others. A bad spouse can ruin your career...they all know it. My marriage is so toxic, I never seen how bad it was until after he retired but we are barely holding on now.

@ggrace1133 2 месяца назад

@@michellesimmons3150you have been a good soldier too. But you can stand down now. It’s your turn to be you, not someone’s shadow where it’s so cold. You’re the real 5⭐️.

@elainewinter8626 Год назад

Marriage is like a date that never ends!!! On a date you are the best you can be! When my ex-marine and I reconciled in our long marriage I discovered a man who wanted to reconcile and he changed for the better! Dr.John is correct in saying that people can willingly change! Individual counseling and marriage counseling was necessary! And with God all things are possible!😅

@pigpjs 3 года назад

She sounds depressed. Is it possible she doesn't want to be a stay at home mom anymore? A part time/full time job, especially since all the kids are in school, might give her satisfaction. Combined with marriage and individual counseling.

@janeddooee 3 года назад

@Heinrich Himmler I disagree. If all she wanted was money and kids she would’ve left a long time ago. She must be holding on to some hope. And why do you assume every woman is married for the money?

@ginnyfromdablock7551 3 года назад

You are extremely negative and you need to go seek therapy for those issues. Not every woman is like that and there are plenty of good woman out there. It sounds like you have been hurt in the past.

@NT-bz5nh 3 года назад

She’s definitely sounds depressed.

@erikrohr4396 3 года назад

Sounded like he's the one who wants to leave.

@rory644 3 года назад

@Heinrich Himmler get some therapy dude and stop being so bitter, all the best to you.

@Picca65 3 года назад

Stopped pushing, did set goals... She isn't a robot. She is just as much a person as you are. I love John's advice!!!!

@tomdrummy4984 3 года назад

Everybody deserves a healthy, reciprocal relationship.........this isn’t it.

@lacrymosa777 3 года назад

Sounds like this relationship has never had any genuine romance, fun, or spontaneity in it

@rebeccaoprea9917 3 года назад

That doesn’t make a long lasting relationship. Cheap thrills don’t fill .

@CrystalM1917 3 года назад

You gotta have some fun sometime. Otherwise they are just roomates.

@zeal4god402 3 года назад

Relationships NEED deep substance, purpose, fun, and uniqueness. More than just paying bills, rearing children and managing a household

@NT-bz5nh 3 года назад

So many happy functional marriages I know of do weekly or bi monthly date nights. Or plan a family or couples only vacation. You have to have fun sometimes. Give your wife a reason to get dolled up if she liked that kind of thing

@zeal4god402 3 года назад

@@NT-bz5nh AMEEEEEEEN. Only what we invest in can grow

@chrissy1448 3 года назад

This caller may be a little too late. I think he doesn’t want to say, but he cheated on this woman too..

@rebekahcrook226 3 года назад

Maybe but NO way of knowing from this one call

@lisascherer4166 3 года назад

Just a thought.... husband may not want his wife to get a job outside the home. He sounds like he wants to just go to work and have his wife do ALL the household jobs. Been there, done that!

@mareehutchin2702 3 года назад

When you marry your drill Sargent and he starts yelling at you!

@SJ-ov8um 2 года назад

I love how he put this. Us checked out women will live bitter and in pain waiting....for something that will never happen. How do you bring her joy fml...that silence was so loud.

@rachelwyatt6030 Год назад

I agree!!! I relate so much to the wife. We aren’t 24/7 robots and employees!

@laurenw2446 4 месяца назад

This sounds like my marriage except the “pushing” my husband did was “spiritual” and church-related. I have been a stay at home Mom who homeschools for a decade at this point. I am currently divorcing my husband. You can only endure so much punishment, so little joy, so little appreciation and warmth. It would have killed me to stay.

@Nah-ah 3 года назад

Avoidance at dinner time and not being responsible/accountable is a clear indicator that she’s sick and tired of everything. Sadly, I hear about this from a lot of stay at home mums. I went through this myself and had to find ways on my own to get help.

@lindalund9621 4 месяца назад

I Even slept in another room a while

@brianburnside5949 3 года назад

This guy needs to learn how to love his wife. Women do amazing things when they know that they are love.

@NT-bz5nh 3 года назад

He’s doesn’t have answers for the simple questions john asked. After 11 years of being together, you don’t know what brings her joy? You don’t know why she’s checked out? Have you asked? She’s probably checked out because he’s seems so surface level. She’s probably depressed.

@monkas7270 3 года назад

she’s good for nothing. stays at home but can’t do laundry for her kids or keep the house clean? he needs to cut the dead weight asap

@NT-bz5nh 3 года назад

@@monkas7270 he’s been married 3 times. He can’t keep divorcing every time things get tough. If he divorces her over this then he should remain single. He plays a role in this too. You would Think after 11 years of being married to the same woman he would have a better idea of why she checked out and if he played a role in this. Dude is clueless

@xxx0ox0 3 года назад

@@NT-bz5nh he's been with her 11 years and he has no clue sounds like it's her. She can't say what's wrong or give any hints. Goes both ways only difference is the man is always blamed and never 50 50

@monkas7270 3 года назад

@@NT-bz5nh why does he have to do everything? when he got married, he was probably expecting a partner or wife, not another kid he has to take care of. it’ll be good for him to end the marriage so that they can both move on

@NT-bz5nh 3 года назад

@@monkas7270 when did I say he has to do everything? I never said I blame Him for the issues in their marriage. I’m blaming him for his lack of awareness.

@nicme 3 года назад

“She doesn’t need information from you. She needs connection from you.”

@ethan4048 3 года назад

From someone with depression she sounds depressed.

@nervotica7991 3 года назад

Sure does - she's struggling with things good wives have been cruising through for millennia...

@ethan4048 3 года назад

@@nervotica7991 Not everyone is best suited for staying at home. Nothing good or bad about it.

@FattyCakezBunbunz 2 года назад

This clip hits so close to home. It's like everything that Dr Delony identified in the way that Marine speaks to and treats his wife it's the same exact statements that both family and friends have pointed out with my own Navy husband. I think a lot of military spouses particularly husbands tend to bring the work mindset home... And it can be a very hard pill for them to swallow and to realize that it is poison and toxic to a family unit and a marriage

@patriciabradford1304 Год назад

My navy dad, had these tendencies. He is so much better now, I bless the Lord!

@vickimerritt2832 Год назад

200% true, police same. Hower any dude (or woman) that thinks work tactics or uses boss or other parent like demeanor will be ineffective at home

@Scratchy314 Год назад

Thats what you get for marrying a government tool

@rachelmelendez9255 3 года назад

He doesn't see anything wrong with himself with how he's answering like there's nothing wrong she shouldn't hide that right there that says a lot

@Picca65 3 года назад

He has no clue. Totally sounds like my ex. Glad I am out with no kids together😱

@darylmiller8911 3 года назад

She is in a thankless "job" and her tank is empty. Husband never satisfied with her household chores.

@laurenalmeyda6916 3 года назад

Yes...hit the nail on the head. Empty tank...thankless job that never ends.

@skaziblu 5 месяцев назад

He focuses on all the logistics, no emotional.

@ellencox8415 3 года назад

Usually I side with the guys on marriage issues, but I know exactly what it is going on here. The military beats into men high expectations. I bet when she had her first child, she tried to do everything perfect and he came home and pointed out everything he didn't like. He demoralized her to the point she checked out and when that happened not only did he threaten to leave, but actually did. She has NO stability with her marriage. She already knows he's twice divorced so he definitely will leave if everything isn't perfect. With him being in the military, I KNOW he has too high of expectations of her with three children. She knows nothing she does will ever be good enough so she has stopped trying. How he fixes this is when he walks in the door every night, he points out something she has done that he appreciates. Ask her what HE can do to help. I understand he works all day, I really get it, but teamwork makes the dream work.

@reginasemenenko148 Год назад

He's treating her like a cadet.

@ellencox8415 Год назад

@@MM-nl8ci because the majority of men are more logical and less emotional. They usually have a better grasp on what the situation is.

@kellharris2491 Год назад

He even controls all the money.

@flyandshy00 Год назад

That's emotional and psychological abuse.

@dannmurray1199 3 месяца назад

Ummm....she works all day too.

@cchat6262 3 года назад

Oh YIKES. The way he talks about his expectations for his wife is awful. He will only give her compliments when she gets dressed or cooks dinner? His love is conditional. She deserves so much better. This guy is awful, hopefully he matures and gets a good counselor.

@shachede6828 3 года назад

Very awful man.

@britneyog9537 3 года назад

Then... HELP her!! Of course it's a challenge for her. She is doing everything it sounds like. I'm a stay-at-home and I couldn't do it without my husband. We are a TEAM. He asks "how can I help you" when he gets home instead of saying "why isn't the laundry done". But, in turn, I give him days and say, "just rest, I got this" or "thank you, I couldn't do this without you and I know you are tired too". But, he helps me and I help him. Communication. And, yessss, we have days like anyone else. We are human. But, TRY man. Try. Ask her how you can help her!

@katrenashields2242 3 года назад

How about team work? Do the dishes together. Put the laundry in the washer then she could fold. Some times a women just wants to know you care.

@rebekahcrook226 3 года назад

@Heinrich Himmler Perhaps then they can trade roles and see how it goes?

@Feliciations 3 года назад

@Heinrich Himmler I had one. It was great! But he did exactly what this woman does. Not any helping out hardly at all. Needs to be a team, a partnership.

@rebekahcrook226 3 года назад

So no one wants a stay at home dad, but everyone complains about stay at home moms. Interesting. I am just glad that my husband values me as a person, an individual woman that he loves and we work not only on our relationship but on tasks together. Unless we are willing to empathize with or take the time to consider the perspective of our spouse, we aren't earning much respect nor being a contributing member of the relationship. Always consider each other and as long as both are seeking to uplift and improve then you are on a great track. Many times in my marriage it has been several months where I can't get to this or that chore due to a new baby or personal struggle, so my husband helps me and encourages me, asking how he can best support me. When he is struggling I take on more of his tasks and ask and work on how best to support him. We don't keep score, we just try to make sure we are both heard, seen and supported. Including asking for help when needed and giving counsel when called for.

@wfTitus 3 года назад

@@rebekahcrook226 I've actually done this. I feel for the caller to an extent. My wife worked at a temp job for a couple of months while i took care of the house. The house was never cleaner, the kids were fed, and we had clean dishes. But she wants to be a stay at home mom, but doesn't like to do any of the stuff that that entails. When i go out to work, she goes out for adventures. It's gotten a little better. But it's still a sore subject with me.

@rebekahcrook226 3 года назад

@@wfTitus Thank you for the added perspective. I should pick words a little more carefully. Just makes me sad when all we see is the conflict and fault not solutions, ya know?

@tinanevills1656 3 года назад

Inject Joy and Safety in her life.. That was the kicker. Good question

@richard3921 3 года назад

sounds like there is more to this, maybe the wife don't feel appreciated or loved, feel like they are just roommates.

@EmilyLucille523 5 месяцев назад

It takes two to tango buddy. She’s not your maid. She’s not your cook. She’s not your servant. She’s your wife.

@phyllissweetpea4926 3 года назад

He needs to be “”less” military. She is a person. Not a military guy. They need counseling.

@katt6894 3 года назад

The hard part about these calls is that we don't get to hear the other side of the story. I imagine that it would be hard to counsel without knowing all of the information. People often have very different perspectives as to what's going on and why.

@murderofcrows7738 3 года назад

I agree. Dr John assumed the Mom is properly taking care of the kids. What if the husband is saying his wife is checked out to the point that he does is all? He said he praises her when she cooks or gets dressed. WHEN. This is either a depressed or lazy mom. It doesn’t sound like an overwhelmed one to me. Just because Dr John has kids that are in tons of activities doesn’t mean ever family does. Maybe this woman is checked out to the point that the kids are suffering too? Telling this man to fix himself isn’t going to make her engage with the kids more. I think the other counsellor had more time with the man, and had the bigger picture. We can’t say their advice was no good for sure. Dr John is clouded by his bias for women. I’m a stay at home mom and it is entirely possible to maintain the house if that’s your only job and your kids are school age. Let’s stop pretending it takes a superhero when it doesn’t.

@ChaiLatte13 3 года назад

Yeah I agree.

@pigpjs 3 года назад

Especially with him having left the home for 30 days 2-3 years ago. Would love to know more about that tie and what - if anything - they did to reconcile beyond him coming home

@brittany7573 Год назад

@@murderofcrows7738 wouldn't you still say WHEN if she cooked everyday? Also with the "when she get dressed", maybe he meant just more than "house clothes". Everyone in my house wears sweats unless we are going somewhere. It so hard to tell what she does or doesn't do, because he is pretty vague. He never stated the house is filthy or the children are being neglected. So I assume he is micromanaging her. Maybe dinner time is the only free time she has to manage life on her phone, like paying bills, making appointments, dealing with school things or shopping for home items.

@RyanMeyerink 2 года назад

This really hit me hard. I was like this guy. My wife left. She is filing divorce. I wish I could have seen this a year ago. I’m going to keep fighting for my marriage as long as I can.

@liquidbreakdancin 2 года назад

It's not wrong if your love language is acts of service. But the way you approach that needs to be very clear and gentle. And she needs to know EXACTLY what that means.

@oshunenergy3884 Год назад

How are things now?

@RyanMeyerink Год назад

@@oshunenergy3884 I’m still standing. She is still working through the divorce process. It’s slower going which may be a good sign. I’m doing my best to work on myself and who I am going forward

@DillonTrinhProductions Год назад

@@RyanMeyerink Work hard man, you're doing good.

@witchsistah Год назад

NOW you're gonna fight?

@talyahr3302 3 года назад

He's in Jacksonville, North Carolina. I was born at the Marine base there when my parents were both stationed there. A lot of Marine men have marital issues like this. But he CAN learn how to be better. He's got to really look at himself though.

@sarcodonblue2876 Год назад

The defence force breaks men down and kills any compassion and love they have.

@michaelallen1154 Год назад

@@sarcodonblue2876 Facts. Veteran Marine here.

@contrarian9999 9 месяцев назад

@@michaelallen1154It's because almost all military men are actually into men. They hate women.

@gigi8528 3 года назад

She’s probably on social media watching people she knows living the life she wishes she had. Either way, I’d like hear both sides

@waflletoast11 3 года назад

No, she does not appreciate the amount of work he puts in or care about doing wifely duties. Just like all women, stop trying to defend her

@rebeccaoprea9917 3 года назад

Let’s not assume .

@britneyog9537 3 года назад

@@waflletoast11 do you have a successful marriage? With that response, I'd say no. Please shock me.

@gigi8528 3 года назад

@@waflletoast11 in what way was my comment defending her? Did you not see the “hear both sides” part of my comment?! Stop taking YOUR issues with women out on me. Clearly neither of us know these people

@kathirodden6109 3 года назад

@@waflletoast11 iaaa

@starlingswallow 3 года назад

If you go to your wife and say, you are more important than a clean house. You are more important than the laundry being done. You are more important than dinner being on the table at six. And then you ask her what can I do for you? I promise you your wife will check back in to the marriage! I think she needs to feel seen and understood. I like the advice Dr. John gave this man. And I can understand this man's frustration! But he's right, people don't respond well to pushing. People respond to genuine love and concern.

@molly5262 10 месяцев назад

Absolute best comment yet!!! Once he truly SEES her & shows how he values her over everything else, she will come around & check back in.

@RandJ1996 10 месяцев назад

Is he more important than bringing in the $ to feed the kids?

@daisylavenderlove 10 месяцев назад

Dr. John you know what would be so cool? If you followed up with your callers 1 year later to see how they've utilized your great advice. Such great advice, I truly pray your callers are heeding it.

@katrenashields2242 3 года назад

Who's got time to think about goals when you're taking care of kids, cooking and cleaning.

@rebekahcrook226 3 года назад

Survival is the goal 😆😅

@dannmurray1199 3 месяца назад

I know...and what kind of goals does he want her to have while she's raising his kids and cleaning his house. He looks down on her and she feels it.

@kaileymarie2251 2 года назад

I was like this wife for a long time. It can still be a struggle but John gave great advice. I was overwhelmed with four young kids and a house and my husband thought I had it easy because he was the one who went to work every day. We are great now, and yes the young kids are still here lol. It’s possible... Communication is KEY. So is understanding that your partner has needs and wants just like you do. It wasn’t just about him realizing how overwhelmed and emotionally drained I was, it was also about me realizing I wasn’t doing anything to try to make him happy either.

@liquidbreakdancin 2 года назад

Yes! Acts of Service is a serious love language that's always misunderstood. Communicating specifically is the key.

@julia190 Год назад

OMG, he refers to her in an impersonal way. His object and possession. Glad John called the truth.

@codename495 3 года назад

He wants a housekeeper, she wants to be a human being not a servant

@stylus2253 3 года назад

How about on Tuesdays you let her do whatever she wants, i.e., shopping at the mall (whatever she likes to do), while you take the kids to the mall ice cream shop.

@pinkwelly7908 3 года назад

If she felt loved, she'd work harder. She knows she isn't loved so why bother

@rebeccaoprea9917 3 года назад

Sadly the statistics show that there’s a higher chance of divorce with each marriage .

@SummeRain783 3 года назад

Not really. I have seen many people have a successful marriage after a few times. Sometimes people just make mistakes when they’re young and don’t know any better. Not different from having many long term relationships then getting married. Clearly this was the longest marriage he had and he’s really trying to make it work.

@rebeccaoprea9917 3 года назад

@@SummeRain783 yes it definitely can work if you did and do the work , if not , it’s just another statistic .

@luminous6969 3 года назад

@@SummeRain783 But statistically, the odds of a third marriage ending in divorce is even higher than the first two. Just cos you know people that haven't divorced yet doesn't mean the statistic doesn't exist.

@Melly16yr10 3 года назад

For real？

@kellharris2491 Год назад

Guys like,' I'm the boss! I'm in charge! It's my way because I am the Man!' Two seconds later. 'Wait. Why I am I carrying it all by myself?'Why am I doing everything myself? Your spouse is not your employee. Your spouse is not your subordinate. If you need to keep someone beneath you to feel good about yourself, that just shows how small you actually are. Real leaders lift up their family. Make them stronger. Real leaders understand, 'He who is great amongst you. Let him be your servant.' Instead many say, 'I am the boss and my family must serve me instead.' He is even controlling all of the money.

@cindichean 3 года назад

Your wife checked out because of YOU! She’s sick of your BS. I have checked out of my marriage. I’ll tell you, we check out because we don’t feel loved, supported, or cared for. I checked out because my “husband” disrespects me, doesn’t support me, criticizes me and puts me down. I am only here still in the relationship because I love my kids. As a stay at home mom, we aren’t financially able to just pick up and leave. Thank god I have a job now and feel some form of independence.

@Lilac914 Год назад

This is me and my husband, 100% 😞 he treats me as if I am invisible, 24/7. I wish I could just run away and divorce. But we have two small children. So I have to endure this for a long time

@michellemcmichael4680 Год назад

Glo up and go out more, without him

@strnglhld Год назад

You don’t have to endure it

@jacquelineess1141 3 месяца назад

Why did you have children with him?

@calebwalker9587 3 года назад

He sounds very task oriented and she doesn’t

@tonioceans7727 3 года назад

I wish I could give the wife a hug and say, "From sister to sister, girl you are valued, you are loved and you are important. You are a strong woman and deserve the very best in life." That is probably more than she's heard from her own husband in years.

@quarterlimit5838 3 года назад

I’m betting she pulled for years and got zero mutual parenting help from him. And then gets reamed by him when he’s home. Enjoy your 3rd divorce.

@orphansparrow2 Год назад

That was so good. Whenever I think one of your topics has nothing to do with my life, I'm wrong. You're so encouraging. Thank you for what you do.

@jemi8202 3 года назад

I am curious to know if when she does do good things ,clean the house or try to work on stuff does he say "thank you", "good job","I love you" or "your so beautiful" or just make he feel like it's still not enough for him...?

@jprichardson9630 3 года назад

And why isn’t he helping? I am thankful for my husband!!!

@dontshowmyname9561 3 года назад

Does she say the same things when he provides constantly for the family?

@jemi8202 3 года назад

@@dontshowmyname9561 that is a very good point!

@CrystalM1917 3 года назад

I think he mentiined he did say these things but John said that she isn't his child lol. 🤷🏾‍♀️

@CrystalM1917 3 года назад

I think there is a monotony of staying home that sucks for many women. It's hard to stay motivated in life doing the same things over and over again with no excitement, variability, or acknowledgement. It takes more energy to form and keep your identity with hobbies, friendships and individual pursuits when you don't have a consistent identity outside of your home so it's easier to fall into depression.

@AlaskanLady 7 месяцев назад

This call made me appreciate not settling for a military man who thinks he’s a perfect human just because he’s military 😂

@calibrial 2 года назад

John's face at 9:45 I almost married a man just like this. Except... I worked full time and he critiqued the way I folded his socks.

@kristidyson443 Год назад

Man this is my life. 35 yrs married, 5 adult kids most 2yrs apart, own a business where I was kinda forced into being the bookkeeper. We argue over everything. We want to get counseling but who do we go to? I want us to go to the right therapist the first time going in

@heidibonjour Год назад

How are you now? Did you take action to make your life better? Find your own therapist to guide. you alone, if you get healthier, your dynamic will change! You deserve more and you are in charge of finding the help you need! Good luck!

@sydneydinks 11 месяцев назад

If you wait to find the right therapist, you'll do nothing but wait. Step in and see if they have something useful for you, if not, try another one. I went through a few duds at first, it helps you to know what you want and don't want from a therapist, similar to dating different people - gives you better clarity on your preferences and dealbreakers.

@sueblack5794 3 года назад

Oh the Love Languages being brought into the conversation. *sigh*. What Fail to understand and yes maybe even the authors of the book, we need all of those aspects of love. We need touch, spending time with one another, words on affirmation, occasional gifts, etc. EVERYONE needs those things, it isn’t just one thing we need all of them and a healthy relationship has all of them. We just may have a preference/ higher desire for a few but we need all of those aspects to feel loved, respected and wanted.

@cyn5962 5 месяцев назад

This is why. as a woman, I've chosen not to have children. I know it's a responsibility I can't handle nor do I want.

@jacquelineess1141 3 месяца назад

Imagine having kids with an automaton like him..I'm a woman myself and I just don't understand other women who settle for tools like him.

@BeautifulGood713 Год назад

I was SAHM for 4 years. I wasn’t cut out for it. I never enjoyed housecleaning. I’m not a neat freak or super organized. I do better with the structure of a job. Wife should probably return to work outside of the home if she can even if it’s part-time.

@Carolina_Cheesehead 3 года назад

So yeah, Marines...Ugh. They are SO DIFFICULT to be married to!

@mrseliephant 3 года назад

Depends on the Marine. Not all Marines are alike. 😛

@Carolina_Cheesehead 3 года назад

@@mrseliephant I know, you're right. I shouldn't lump them all together, but 31 years with mine has left me incredulously saying to myself "I can't believe this is my life!"

@giavannam.french9285 3 года назад

@@Carolina_Cheesehead my husband and I are both former Marines. There is something about "being institutionalized" that affects your interpersonal relationship skills. The military is like the unseen arbiter that mediates arguments bc there's always a regulation that makes 1 party right and the other party wrong. Emotions and feelings are not subject to manuals but to human hearts so relationships are incredibly messy and painful. Said a prayer for you & your Marine: 31 years has its share of ups and downs. I pray you find more ups as you intentionally seek them 💗

@Michael-ft9pm 3 года назад

Can imagine why marriage rates and birth rates are dropping like a rock!

@sueblack5794 3 года назад

There is a reason why 3rd marriages have a 75% plus failure rate.

@tymom9313 3 года назад

I think this is relatable to many!

@bernieboo7637 3 месяца назад

Duuuude.... he asked "how do you bring her joy?"... the SIIIGH followed by the long silence, told me everything I need to know. Dude is Not treating her like a Partner, he's treating her like a subordinate. A subordinate to be brought in line.

@randybobandy9828 3 месяца назад

And she brings him zero joy... The opposite in fact.

@ChinaConsultingTravelBlog 3 года назад

Check out Chris rock's tambourine skit about marriage. It is the most perfect analogy I've ever heard for marriage. Sometimes you are the lead singer and other times you are playing the tambourine. When it's your turn to play tambourine play it well.

@BagsNBaguettes_327 3 года назад

God, marriage is so tough sometimes and you love the person!

@fallon7616 Год назад

He sounds like my husband. Selfish and controlling and 3x married. Run girl 💪

@carolannstevens5814 Месяц назад

I love how you get to the core Dr. John!!! You nailed it!

@zeal4god402 3 года назад

He happened to get his 3rd wife pregnant and just decided to marry her and try to work it out. This is why the Bible states to flee fornication so we spend adequate time knowing someone without orgasms that clouds discernment, and then marrying and spending the rest of our life with our purpose-partner and not just someone we have fun with and have some things in common with. People having children with people with nothing but children binding them together, but no mission, no purpose beyond that is vain.

@truthinlovemama 3 года назад

Great questions that caused the man to stop and think about the “why.” Accountability is good…if the other person is receptive. She is sick of being pushed like a child and has checked out. She sounds depressed and unfulfilled in her marriage and life in general. Should the house be kept up? Yes. Should she eat dinner with her family? Yes. But constant criticism won’t make her want to be better. She needs to feel loved and secure in the relationship. The caller can’t force her to change- he can only change himself. Find those things that bring her joy and do them. His efforts towards a day for her, acknowledgment of her achievements, counseling, etc. are a good start. I commend the husband for caring enough to try when she isn’t able to put forth the effort. That IS love. Great advice. Rely on God for your fulfillment, not your wife, and no matter what happens you will have peace and joy.