On the paper, the thought that immediadiatly came to mind is composting it with the other 'fertilizer" so some good can come from it, no matter how small.
Writing it down on paper to get out of your head and what to do with that paper afterwards fits SO well with "The Daily Practice that I learned from the "Crappy Childhood Fairy" channel. Between your channel and her channel I am finally healing. Thank you both so much for all your good works and the insights you share to help people you've never even met. Much love 💛
I can't stop ruminating... :( This channel is a life savior for victims of narcissistic abuse who are trying to heal and move past it. And I love your extremely soothing voice. Thank you so much! 🙏
Be aware of a narcissist that tries to apologize to you only to take them back/forgive them, but then turn around and blame you for it. It's never genuine with them! 💙RU-vidr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Yeh it's usually a trap unfortunately. They don't want you back, they just want to know that you will take them back. And often if you do, they'll use the opportunity to ditch you.
I have PTSD and the hardest part for me are the dreams about her.They osccilate between reconciling and lashing out on her. I start making progress, then I'll have one of these dreams and then it's like I'm back to square one when I wake up. She discarded me 2 years ago and went no contact for the last 6 months. We were in a relationship for 25 years. She recently tried to hoover me, which I almost fell for. It was amazing how she ran the whole love bombing, devalue, discard, in a few emails between us. Luckily I identifed the devaluing and avoided the discard that was certainly coming. This started the dreams all over again. I just want to move on and be trhough with it. Tired of ruminating about her and the relationship. It's been happeining for 2 years. I am exhausted.
So sorry to hear that, I was totally saved by the 2,5 year therapy, I had severe anxiety, I needed professional help to get out of a 19year toxic and emotional abusive marriage with a covert narcissist...my kids akso went to therapy and even the counselors told us to get divorced, in front of our teenage kids... we are now in a distance waiting for the divorce proceedure to be free...🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Very good explanations and tip Christina.Only one that has been through it all can know.I have a phrase I repeat over and over to distract from ruminating.I say my heart is calm ,my soul is free.
I completely agree with this however, I’m still stuck in the same place I was because I was left with nothing as if I deserved that. It makes it difficult for me to heal because each and every day I have to live in it when I just want out. It was seemingly just a big joke I guess - we’re talking about a marriage. It has to be the most bazaar experience of my life. I can’t wait to put it behind me completely.
You are spot on. Ten years married. She had five boys. Was told every lie in the book you could imagine. Finally reached out to ex only a few months back and unfortunately was also a victim. Always your fault, gaslighting constantly, never their fault. She looked at me one time with the most believed and blank stare “I didn’t do one thing wrong in ten years”! Wow.. Found continuous ex messages through investigations, then she would cry and say you have to trust me, only to find out something else to prove she lied, then of course, five different stories come out that don’t make sense. Of course you can’t forget once they realize they sound like they a two year old who doesn’t know what a lie is, the ego will come out and then undermine and invalidate your feelings! It’s terrible and had no idea humans could ever go so low. Watch out for the subtle calm, but very charismatic, educated, and flattery 😀 Also when they constantly have new friends on social media that have no acquaintances between the both of you, big red flag!!
Christina, thank you for your thoughtful words. I so appreciate your reminder that it's a lost cause to want others to understand my experience. Every time I've indulged in trying to explain the abuse to someone, I've been catastrophically disappointed. People who haven't experienced or studied narcissistic abuse cannot understand it. It can be a lonely reality to live in the wake of narcissistic abuse - wounds unseen and misunderstood. That's why this channel/community is so beautiful. Thank you!
Christina, thank you much for existing. I have been away from the old narcissist in my life for almost a year and every time I start ruminating, you are there with helpful, relevant content.
“Your brain is trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense.” I work with survivors and I am a survivor myself. There is always that phase of asking why do they contradict themselves about what they want in the relationship? The damned if you do and damned if you don’t aspect of gaslighting. I usually tell my clients their brain is trying to solve an unsolvable problem. That is why it doesn’t end. And since there is no solution, the only thing that makes sense is to stop thinking about it. I used two techniques to free my brain from the hamster wheel. One, I interrupted the thoughts with a description of everything in my environment out loud until my brain forgot to ruminate. When the ruminations came back, even if it was two minutes later, I would do it again. The second technique I used was to practice a mindfulness meditation called thought watching or “leaves on a stream.” I encourage all my clients who are survivors to to the same or similar things that help them gently disengage. Thanks for this video. The more options the better! Different things work for different people! The main thing is to stick with it until you get free! 😊
Thank you for sharing this. My mum is the narcissist & I’m 55 struggling in therapy to come to terms with the life of abuse & she got worse with age. But now with no contact she’s like an itch in my brain that I can’t get to. Even when distracting myself her presence is there, just won’t go. Therapy & your video go a way to quieten it down. Thank you 🙏
I was 55 when i had to tell my mum to not expect any more visits because i wasnt being spoken to like a naughty 14 year old any more, i had given her a couple of warnings , and like you say they just get worse and worse, probably because you are the adult now and they are still stuck in childlike mindframe, . anyway i can recommend a brilliant book which explains how all this works , the new primal scream by dr arthur janov.
If you think back, there's most likely a point, before things got REALLY bad, where you calmly thought to yourself "I had enough of this shit". Imagine you're back at that point and imagine just walking away at that point and never interacting with them again and going on with you're life from that point. The really bad stuff that came after that point you were really sticking around for further confirmation, but at that point you're really just getting drug in deeper and then there's even more bullshit to deal with that you then have to try to make sense of. They're just dragging you in a divide by zero puzzle
I was on holiday, on the beautiful beach, enjoying myself. Then I started ruminating awful holiday with my ex 3 years ago. I started cry in the beautiful environment, and thinking this is ridiculous! usually I'm ok but sometimes i ruminate when something triggers that horrible moment.... I will keep writing and burning when I want let it go. Thank you for a great video! xxx
I was on a vacation the narc who discarded me took me on. I got a cheap massage while on the beach and emerged feeling so blissful and happy. Then the narc exploded in a rage out of nowhere to air pet peeves (he didn’t even say anything solid, just wanted to ruin my joy). Just reminds me that even though I romanticize the memories I remember the painful reality of dealing with their rage and walking on eggshells
I'm thinking any loss also involves a grieving process the timing of which is individual to each of us. Thanks for all you are and share with us all here Christina, great advice! Thought stopping and redirection of focus really helps. 💕🤗👍
Definitely a clip that I needed to watch today. Thanks for posting. Last year I expunged what I hope will be the final narcissists out of my circle of friends. I now have an excellent circle of friends who accept me as I am and support everything I do. However, the rumination persists and can still be quite ruinous for me mentally. One thing that I've been doing to combat rumination, among other lingering effects of years of narcissistic exploitation and abuse, is that I've been reconnecting with hobbies that I've lost so much time and competency with, due to the depleted time and mental bandwidth I've incurred from the various narcissistic relationships I've been entangled with. I've resumed wood carving, and flintknapping (ie primitive stone tool manufacture) and whenever I do these things, the narcissists of my past leave my head. This is especially the case when I feel to have regained competency at these skills that I've lost. During those moments in particular, the narcissists will leave my head on a more long term basis. I am a neurodivergent ( primarily dyspraxic) individual, who has a number of psychomotor and perceptual impairments which are characteristic of dyspraxia. Thus, for me any performance skill will tend to deteriorate more severely without regular practice with that skill. This is why regaining lost competency feels so empowering for me. Many dyspraxics are also known to be highly empathic people and for this reason I wonder if we, as a population, might be especially vulnerable to narcissistic exploitation.
It does go away in time you sort of need time probably a lot more than an average break up because at first you have to grieve the loss (depending on who broke up with who) you then have to break the trauma bond, grieve the relationship and the anger the intense anger you feel nothing prepares you for that but that's normal you start thinking about vengeance because if you didn't have boundaries before you're that angry you've allowed someone to do that to you and while all this is perfectly normal do you know what helped? Getting out and doing something. My sister would invite me out even when I didn't feel like it, she'd invite me out to the cinema, I'd go places - I'd be in the car all spaced out because I couldn't talk about him my parents and family hated him, they were just glad he was gone. In my head I was climbing the walls but it was the doing of different things that helped me to move on, even if I didn't feel like it. I was always out. I'm not saying I didn't cave and call him back but he had brainwashed me into thinking real love is where you can't spend a second of your time apart without crying and then he said it was real. I didn't deal very well, I'd get my feelings out in notes and stuff, it was like I'd write him a letter but I wouldn't post it, I wouldn't send it but I got my anger and frustration out like that. I used night times to cry. In many ways he broke me, and he'd ring the house sometimes it was naughty of him because we'd broken up and I was trying to stop my addiction towards him but I secretly enjoyed the calls just not when he'd make up names for my family and get me to say them, it wasn't bad names it was just stupid so instead of saying Lyndsey, who was my sister he'd want me to call her Giraffe because she was at this point getting quite tall, just stupid names I didn't want to say. He'd just say, how's Giraffe? It was pathetic but he wouldn't stop until I said the names he made up for my family. It felt wrong when I said it, I hated doing it but when I found the strength again to stop talking to him, I'd stop because if the phone rings, the house phone (because I'd had my number changed) so any member of the family could pick up not just me. It was like giving up talking to him and finding the strength to go on with my life again. I'd work out my anger issues in my dreams I'd scream at him, have intense arguments, sometimes violent outbursts where I would win but my dreams did get better the less I thought of him, the more I thought of other things, shopping, eating out, making new friends. I did start to have some peaceful nights and peaceful days. It's not easy but I made the decision that time to fight instead of being a victim. I switched my mindset. Yes, I was a victim but I was victimising myself by my emotions so I was in the fight of my life to turn my life around. It was because of him and my decision that I became more positive and wouldn't let my negative thoughts take place and to stop thinking of the past. I started to become more confident, dressed to feel good and I did move on. Sometimes I'd get the odd dream he'd find a new way to contact me again like through the radio or something! But I was getting my life back. I had other boyfriends and different people to focus my time on but I was never going down that rabbit hole of despair and destruction because I made a promise to myself not to go there again otherwise I'd be on anxiety tablets and everything going.
It's the injustice of it all that consumes my mind.. how he painted himself a victim of my reactions of his emotional abuse and calling out his narcissist behaviors the last year of our relationship... 21 yrs is a long time to heal from. But I'm getting there. We have children so I can't be completely away. I still get gaslit constantly and he tries to lie still and rewrite my memory of what he did in the past. We only discuss it still because my oldest children have issues with depression anxiety etc and I'm attempting to take accountability for why and cause him to as well
I think I like you. I'm just getting out of narcissistic relationship. One that ended 1 year and 4 months ago, picked up again then ended just recently. I'm just short of losing my mind but relieved that there is hope. This is some really deep stop. Narcissism is so powerful. I'm an older man and am coming to grips with all of this. It's going to take some time. The rumination is making me crazy and wears me down. Thank you.
This is so true, I wasted 26 years ignoring the red flags, these devices in people's hands have taken them away from real individuality, not until i got closure on my husband I was in the dark. We create our reality and the consciousness of the planet is accelerating. This means people have to become more aware of who they are. When one experiences abuse, you first become aware of the abuse, then realizing you are a victim, With healing and processing comes strong boundaries built by confidence in your worth. After this comes a realization that the experience made you stronger and more of who you are and that the narcissist was simply a vehicle for your growth. Ultimately you then realize we are all a creation of our energetic spiritual energy and the narcissist was and is a part of us. In the end, we become accepting of the experience and knowing we would never go back to the previous unawakened and unenlightened version of ourselves. It is not by any means an easy journey and is filled with pain especially when we incarnate into a family with a parent of such characteristics. There is a plan and it is ultimately to drive us. You would love an awakened version of you. My husband was a deceptive narcissist and sociopath, he would never apologize, I was always made to feel little on the inside, it was pure psychological warfare at its lowest, I suspected infidelity on his path, not until with the help of the developer of an app code name rat9 for accessing his device without having to physically touch it, with a functionality to view deleted chats and messages as well as call logs and in-app chats, I was completely in the dark. There was a Conversation I read on his Instagram Account where he did address me as 'beauty with no brains'. I'm finally going through a divorce with evidences too overwhelming. His device contained secrets that I could never have imagined. If in need of such help, write directly to the developer on email ' ethandavydova at gmail dot com '.
Color I see is a very ominous, burnt orange....like we see in the news photos of wild fires. I never realized this until you suggested putting a color to the energy. Just...wow. Thank you. This will definitely help me.
Narcissism is neat! My ex wife raged and screamed at me for almost twenty years! The lies an manipulation were every waking hour. Even learned all about gaslighting and parental alienation. She loved throwing chairs and everything else at me, breaking things, damaging the car, verbally abusing the kids and teaching them everyone else hated them - except her, of course! She slashed me with a Ginsu knife, smashed large fluorescent light bulbs over my head, kicked me in the stomach while I was laying on the ground under the car, routinely punched me in the head while I was driving, then called the police on me to claim I was abusing her. She screamed at all my neighbors, alienated all family and friends by stealing from them, stole about $65,000 from my business account..... Great stuff. In the end, she lied to Judges and stole my house and kids before my eldest got brave enough to tell the Judge mom was lying and abusing the girls (choking her and making her sleep in a closet) while I was restrained by a falsely obtained Protection Order. She even that mom was making them lie for her to win in court (suborning perjury!). By then, the damage was done. The judge had already stripped me in favor of the narcissist feigning to be 'abused.' These people are simply evil. So are Family Courts that cater to them. No wonder men are committing suicide at such high rates. Judge Tony Baker of Cherokee County Georgia is the criminal 'judge' catering to the abuser in this case.
Music, Meditation, Relax, Breathe, Nature... Gray Rock works like MAGIC on narc spouse. Literally ignore him for hours. He does not inquire or react. Peaceful Non-communication. Last night he's back from week long vacation. I disappeared into back room to get quiet & meditate. This session lasted 3 hours! Really made some progress. Afterwards he had gone to bed. Escape without escaping No Contact w/o Leaving Conquer the Demon By doing/saying Nothing whenever Necessary...
@@chellebelle1970 Thank you. Decided I don't want to live like that any longer. No one should settle for such nonsense & abuse. Getting all my Docs in a row to file divorce papers soon. Take care 💜🚢🗽
My dad is the narcissist. Im 32. It’s been 4 years of no contact. Rumination is the main problem. Im stuck in a constant state of freeze. There are so many levels of healing from my abuse.
You called out my priestess cleansing ritual. I write things/intentions out and I burn them away. It's clean mysticism without a sacrifice needed. Bless you 🙏🏾
This was a very helpful video. Thank you! Forgot myself and forgot to say thank you for all of these. Breaking it into steps really helps the process start! Depending on the specific narc I am thinking of I recommend saving that piece of paper along with all the other incidents and times that they abused triangulated trapped or whatever it was because a lot of their actions are designed to overwhelm and confuse and being able to go back and remember and understand what they did could be important at some time.
I'm living in supportive housing and the manager of the program is very toxic and abusive and hurts us clients. I don't know how to make it stop and am struggling with a lot of anxiety because of it. Hearing you share this empowers me to work towards not ruminating. I wish I could cut this person out of my life but if I need anything I need to go to staff or the manager.
Thankyou Christina … you are helping me so much. I am even scared to subscribe to your channel as the damage she has done to me makes anxious to do anything. I cannot understand how people can be like this
two things i do to take control of my thoughts is 'you're telling yourself the ____ story. THE END>' or chanting a mantra....'i choose again. i choose love.' or 'lokha samasta sukhino bhavhantu'.....sometimes i just plug in the head phones and listen to 417 frequency solfeggios. depends on where i am and which narc i'm dealing with...
Very good advice. I have my abode full of files with all them Dark dense clouds inside. Going to have dramatic destruction process when 'The Dust Settles' Looking forward to that day.
Writing it down on paper to get out of your head and what to do with that paper afterwards fits SO well with "The Daily Practice that I learned from the "Crappy Childhood Fairy" channel. Between your channel and her channel I am finally healing. Thank you both so much for all your good works and the insights you share to help people you've never even met. Much love 💛
couple of years ago i wrote down on paper what i thought of my mum and sis and how i was not having anymore contact because i have more respect for myself , it was brutal ,i went into the family secret , then i decided to put a stamp on it and post it . best thing i ever did , haha. mum died a year later
I thought of the color Blue! I made a Pro/con journal. WOW! Seeing it in writing, It validated my Gut feelings. Many times a day I look in the mirror & talk to myself! PEP talk. Rehash the pro/cons. 23 days it's really helping me!! A week ago I was watching videos Will my Ex come back, How to get my ex back, etc. This last week I'm watching videos on how to Maintain No Contact, GET rid of her, Don't let her in. I know she is sick, She's not evil or the devil like many other coaches say they are. She has a Mental illness. She also suffers from Bi Polar. I'm not looking to get back at her. Not even angry with her. I even pray for her. I'm more angry at myself that I allowed this to happen to me!! 7 days NC. I'm trying to stay busy to keep my mind off her. 17 mos of this, I made an appointment with Mental health, to see how damaged I am. I know these videos help, but this is really the time I think about her the most.
The energy I've spent thinking about this person feels like a punishment or sentence. I truly want to move on but I feel stuck. I don't want her apology, or even for her to take accountable anymore. I just want her gone, and her memory to be completely scrubed from mine. The replaying of certain scenarios, the good times bad times, what I should have said, that it's my fault, it's enough.
In my experiece, whilst journaling mind-talk (rumination), once you've written down those negative thoughts, look at them, and verify whether or not they are literally true (you'll find that almost none of them are). E.g. "I'm just pathetic" (are you JUST pathetic, or do you sometimes feel pathetic, but are a myriad of other things too? - then this is false). Thoughts are like boomerangs, you can't throw them away.
great video. I am over the ruminating stage so I can attest to the things you suggested. I started getting up in the mornings rather than laying in bed ruminating. I took on a 30 minute on line moving yoga meditation class M-F. On weekends would go out and walk. Go get coffee in a mall. I always have music at home playing in the background and yes sometimes I would spontaneously dance to it. Thanks for all these tips Christina. Little gems that really work.
Music is tough for me because I’m one incident of narcissistic rage my parents attacked me. My dad choked me & crushed my vocal cords. I lost my falsetto. I wanted to be a professional musician & I even interned for Beyoncé’s dad for a year & 4 months. My mom was there & with my dads arm around my throat she YANKED my head back & with an UGLY look on her face yelled at me “WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?!” So it’s extremely difficult not to ruminate while listening to music, especially since I love singing so much. I used to have a 4 octave range. I spent years developing my singing voice.
Christina really this is very enlightening i had a very bad time ruminating i might add something which was very potent to get me out of these prisoning thoughts . I kept saying she did not love me she hated me several times each day really this helped a lot
My narcissistic parent was able to take advantage of me at a low point in my life where I actually thought he was trying to help me. It was so hard for me to let go of this idolized image I had of my father but I was forced to because my mental health was deteriorating. I feel so messed up from what I went through and I don't know if I'm going to okay but I try everyday to heal and move past the past. Now that I'm seeing to reality of everything I think I'm more angry than ever.
I think the difficult part is that feel like have to to explain to ppl why I’m not further along in my life & my parents have sabotaged me in so many ways. Ppl will think that I’m just point fingers but my mom gave me Covid on purpose while I was trying to work on a PhD. This is now after my dad has been gone for 10 years. I’m living in my car right now, camped out on blm land and trying to tend to my mental health and cut my family out of my life so that I can be mentally healthy and try to enjoy the rest. I’m also suffering some real physical health issues related to stress. I actually have fitness data of my heart health that shows how it was at a level that put me at high risk for death while I was around my mom. Almost immediately after I moved into my car (while still in the phd program) my heart health improved noticeably. All the walking I did every day on campus didn’t improve my heart health but getting away from that stressor did.
But I’m still ruminating and in my mind I’m still afraid of having to go back and be around toxic family again. When I’m confident that I’ll never need to go back (my parents used money to control me among other things. They’ve even called places I’ve worked or yelled at me before a job interview) then I think I will improve in my mental health a bit more.
these thoughts are coming in when I am about to relax, like singing and dancing for example or want to plan my days. They are interrupting me and my authentically feelings of myself while dancing for example. That is pretty hard.
Hi, it feels that I truly am in a relationship with a narc. I want to stay temporarily for our children as I have no other place to go. I really liked this video. How can I balance it out with actually having to make notes on this narc to remind me of certain situations that I may need to bring up later?
I put up with the constant abuse from my narcissistic brother and sister for years. Finally, I have gone no contact but after 6 months i cant control the ruminating, its taking over my life I cant block it out. Even trying distractions but its still in my head. I am now going to see a therapist and hope it will help. It will probably take a long time to get over it. Im not going to write it down as that will only trigger the thoughts if i read it again. I dont know what else to do
The thing I practice when I recognize that I'm having a thought about that narcissistic person(s) in my past is to say aloud, "Get out of my head, bitch!" I find that doing this breaks the thought pattern and shoves those thoughts away more effectively than simply trying not to think. Depending on the thought, I may even raise the midde finger in the narcissist's geographical direction and saying a couple choice words as well. For example, when I find myself ruminating about something "sweet/caring", or self-serving the narcissist had said to me. In fact I've had to pause a half dozen times while writing this just to do one of the above. (Maybe I've lost my mind, I dunno...)
I'm leaving my norc this month. When I went for therapy with him - my therapist turned out to be norc too!! I asked her ,,I just don't get it ..he cheated on me- that after 25 years I can be still so disposable to him". And she said: why not?! ...Why not??? OMG... Be careful there.. people.. 😱💔
Christina, I repressed this experience FOR 30 YEARS! I was helping a friend through a breakup and she shared the list of Narcissistic Abuse Symptoms. I read it and started shaking and hyperventilating. I didn’t know it was a thing. Now (6 months after the discovery) I am still having such a hard time. Hard to ruminate what you can’t quite remember. My brain hurts hard! Any help for this kind of thing?
How to escape the downward spiral christina?? It’s maddening! I repeatedly attracted narcs for last 10 years esp the covert kind until I got this knowledge I feel like the damage is done, everything good/beautiful/kind/worthy about myself is dead in the process How do I break free
Know that everything good/beautiful/kind/worthy about you is still there, and make it your mission to reconnect with that part of you. They can try, but they can't actually take it away 🙏❤️
The book "Between Parent and Child" helped me learn how to communicate in a helpful way with both myself & others. i cannot recommend it highly enough. The author is Haim Ginott.
My ex bf covert narcissist just literally moved back in without my permission while I was sick and unable to do anything about it. Said he has nowhere to go. I thought this video was about how to evict him from my home as I don’t know what to do now.
Sorry you're dealing with that, and I understand the confusion. Unfortunately, I don't have advice for an actual eviction beyond checking your local laws (which you've probably done) 🙏❤️
@@CommonEgo I told him that my daughter and I didn’t want him living with us. I said he had to leave. He actually did, not without a high drama attempt at guilt tripping me. But he went.
The "colour" that came to mind had a rather dull-green phlegm like kinda tone, flecked with bits of dark blood ... OK, pretty disgusting but I got out now. Thanks!
How to stop rumination Think of the thoughts as dark, dense and negative energy. Attempt to interrupt the flow of these thoughts and don't judge yourself. Write down your rumination. This piece of paper represents the negative energy. Have a plan at evicting the narcissist. Decide what to do with that piece of paper.
Strange. I realize I was raised by narcissists, my siblings are narcissists and I've got an internal persecutor now. I cut everyone off decades ago. I let my social muscle whither long before that, and it has been devastating for me. The narcissist I ruminate about these days is God.
Christina, I repressed my experience FOR 30 YEARS! It came out while trying to help a friend through a bad breakup…she shared a list of symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse and I started shaking and hyperventilating. Complete physical response leading to floodgates flying open and my world started spinning….Anyone have advice for the latent response?
when it comes to writing down thoughts (Ima try this) Do I just start writing whatever is on my mind & how Im feeling abt this cold discard he just pulled on me, or is there a specific way to do it? Like writing in the 3rd person?
Sorry you're dealing with this. These aren't typical breakups and can take much longer to recover from. Have patience and compassion with yourself for all you've been through. It will get better 🙏❤️
If you destroy the paper doesn't that defeat the purpose of writing it in the first place? You said you write it so you have some place other than your head to store it. You ruminate to help maintain the memory so if you write it down you don't need to ruminate. Your memory is stored elsewhere, like an external hard drive. If you destroy the paper you'll have to ruminate again to maintain the memory.
You destroy the paper when you're ready to let go. It's a symbolic gesture that you will probably need to do more than once, but the intention of releasing those thoughts can be very powerful 🙏❤️
What if it's been decades since I left the narc (that passed away) and out of nowhere I start thinking about him and the good and bad memories ( more bad memories than good) and even sexually fantasizing about him and thinking about the times we were sexually intimate? I don't love him anymore nor do I miss him, how do I make all this stop, again this started decades after I left the narc.
Why do I have triggers though I have no rational for deep feelings of love, but times I remember things about her not true, bc never can be independently confirmed/affirmed. I look at the last 8-10 yrs as just a waste, then I still have feelings bc specific thoughts of who she is that totally contradict her real world actions... I feel like a idiot
It's different for everyone and it can pass more quickly when we recognize it for what it is and make an effort to move towards more productive thoughts. It's a process without a firm end, but there will be one day when you'll wake up and realize how far you've come 🙏❤️
How to escape the downward spiral christina?? It’s maddening! I repeatedly attracted narcs for last 10 years esp the covert kind until I got this knowledge I feel like the damage is done, everything good/beautiful/kind/worthy about myself is dead in the process How do I break free
