5 Things Women Say That Are Red Flags (Every Guy Needs To Know This) 

Here's the summary: 1. I have options 2. How much money do you make? 3. I don't accept coffee dates 4. All my exes are crazy 5. I'm the prize Y'all are welcome!! 🙂

"All of my boyfriends were toxic." She's projecting. She's the toxic one.

One of my female workmates once asked me if I wanted to go for a walk with her during our lunch break. It wasn't anything romantic, but I was so flattered and honoured that she even wanted to go on a mere walk with me, that I happily accepted. And we enjoyed each other's company during our time together. My point is, Courtney is right. The simplest things you can do with a girl always end up being the best things. If these girls can't appreciate something as simple as a picnic, coffee date or even just a walk in the park to get ice cream...if they can't appreciate the simple things, they won't appreciate the bigger things. It'll be meaningless. And that's sad.

Guys, take it from me. I ignored all of the early red flags from my ex simply because she was absolutely gorgeous and to put it lightly, very intimate if you know what I mean. Aside from that, nothing good came from that relationship. If you receive a red flag, walk away. You’ll thank me later.

I've had so many older people who are in committed relationships tell me "If I were single, I would not want to date right now". Says a lot.

As someone who has been sober for 20 years, my biggest red flag on a first date was: "oh, you don't drink".. and they look away. If it's so important that I drink alcohol and they can't accept that I don't.. It's not going to work. My wife was actually happy that I told her I didn't drink when we met at a bar for our first date. She just expected most guys she met online to want to get drunk on dates. That was one reason I knew she was a keeper.

I once knew a woman (we didn't date or anything) who told me that she rejected her boyfriend's proposals THREE times. She said the reason why she rejected them wasn't because she didn't want to marry him, but that he got the wrong ring each time. That was a big red flag moment for me that resonates with what you're saying about the woman not appreciating the man's time (and in my example, dedication to her).

My ex-girlfriend has purposely sabotaged absolutely every relationship she's even been in. In fact, one of her boyfriends in recent times found me on facebook, asked to meet me (which I did), and pretty much wanted to reassured that it wasn't just him who she did all this too. She was treating him as appallingly as she treated everyone else before, including myself.

I went out with a girl in the summer, and whilst we were talking she straight up told me she’s a compulsive liar. On the one hand it was an obvious red flag, but at the same time it was so incredibly honest I was genuinely surprised. The irony of it all is pretty funny.

“All my exes are crazy” So many girls says this. It’s like a universal thing women say these days. It’s usually followed by “I just want a caring, sweet, funny guy who likes me for who I am” or something similar. Then I ask “so why do keep picking the guys who aren’t caring, sweet and like you for you?” Crickets. Texts go silent, or I get blank stare if in person. 😐 To conclude, it’s a red flag lol

I am so glad that back in the seventies, dating was rather simple. You go skating, meet a girl that fell while trying to skate backwards, rush to her aid, date for two years, marry , and have 46 years of happy marriage. Well, in two more months it will be 46 years. It was the last time that I was going to go to this rink and then I met my soulmate. I don't care what anyone thinks about fate but, I believe in it. Good luck to all you guys!

When I was telling my girlfriend at the time how I was feeling about what she did to me, she said "oh yeah because you are so perfect" I just couldnt ever tell her or confront her about stuff without her getting upset and toxic.

As a married man of 8 years now, it's so crazy how the dating market has changed since I last dated in 2014. My advice is to be the best version of yourself, don't play games, be confident and communicate your intentions.

My biggest red flag is when a woman asks me to buy or pay for something in the first few days of talking. So I’ve started telling women “I won’t be giving any money away because we haven’t met in person yet.”

The best one a gal ever told me was "My ex was always mad because I spent money on other men," I could not end the date fast enough.

“I know she’s been married 3 times and has 4 kids from 4 other men, two of which were not connected to one of her husbands, but darn it!! I can fix her!” - Beta Bob 2019

A red flag for me is if I see that a woman's favorite show is "Keeping up with the Kardashians", "Real housewives of anything" or any relationship reality TV show. They almost always have unrealistic approaches to life.

Women who love to brag about having "options" usually just say that to give an insecure man the idea that she could leave him at any moment. I have no problem letting women leave and exercise their options if they're constantly bragging about it because 9 times out of 10 it's usually not true and they end up trying to come back. I have other options, too: basketball, pool, bowling, mini golf, video games, pro wrestling, drawing, reading, etc. See all those options? Wonderful. By the way, you look lovely in that pink sweater Courtney 🌹

One time a woman I worked with thought she was flirting with me. She described several dates she'd been on recently, even mentioning the guy's names. Then she smiled at me, and asked, "Do you want to join my harem?" I deadpanned her for a few seconds and said, "I don't want to be part of anyone's harem." And I turned and walked away. She looked shocked and had nothing to say. So I carefully avoided talking to her from then on.

I dated a woman who'd been married three times by the time she was 52. She was playing the field & made the proclamation "I'm a catch." "Yeah, catch & release" I said.

If someone says to me, “I have options” I’ll say, “So do I.”

“How much money do you make?” There was a thread on AskWomen lately talking about this. Almost all the women said that they ask this question within the first few dates. I found that appalling personally, so clear what their priorities are.

I got out of an 11-year relationship/marriage in 2020. Things have really changed since I met my ex in 2009. Also, the "all my exes are crazy" girl is often times projecting her own craziness upon her exes. If you get into a relationship with her, and you guys break up. Guess what? You'll be the next crazy guy on her next date.

Her: "I have options." Me: "I suggest you exercise one or more of those options because I'm not an option." Her: "How much money do you make?" Me: "None. I earn it." Her: "I don't accept coffee dates." Me: "Awesome. You just saved me ten dollars." Her: "All my exes are crazy." Me: "Tell me more..." 👀👀 Her: "I'm the prize." Me: "So like, Cracker Jack?"

“All my exes are crazy” reminds me of this girl I used to have a crush on. She called everyone’s actions as toxic. It almost felt like it was her favorite word when describing what seemed to me normal behavior. While everyone else just avoided her calling her a bitch. Now that I have distance from her I realize she was just a bad egg. I’m probably also now labeled toxic.

"I'm the prize" implies that dating is a game, and it has a finish, and a reward. The reward for dating is an ongoing relationship that will be years of WORK. It's a job interview, no one wants to "win" a job they don't want. or can't do. It's a signup to a lifetime of growth, learning, opportunities, and failures. It's a chance to intertwine your lives for better or worse, because both will come.

I once had a woman ask me, within the first 15 minutes of meeting me, "So how much do you make?" My answer was simple. I asked, "Why? How much do you cost?"

We need more girls like you, physically and mentally

When I lived in Hong Kong and Shenzhen, China, 19 out of 20 girls would use beauty filters on their online dating. Some were obvious because it's over processed but many weren't. [Shakes my fist on these apps] Despite my huge ego boost in getting huge amounts of matches online, it exhausted me from the constant disappointment when meeting in person. I learned fast to only have coffee dates to determine if physical attraction and chemistry is met in person before planning for an actual date. If a girl can't accept that, red flag, like Courtney says.

When she says, "I like you." I know she has horrible judgment, and I should run.

Several of your examples fit my ex-wife perfectly. I messed up in getting married to her. Later she admitted she was diagnosed with mental illness called bipolar, Nine years of hell for me.

The biggest issue I've had with girls is that they've made me feel like I need to be perfect and never make a mistake. I might wear my heart on my sleeve and they never give me a second chance to learn and grow as a man.

The options part , I had it said to me differently back many years ago, ( early 90s ) I had a woman among her girlfriends tell me, women sleep with who they want, men sleep with who they can, as her friends all shook their heads in agreement, now keep in mind the young women of today have been raised by these very women who told me that

I'm a guy in my late 30's, and the dating world is awful today. I definitely noticed a change over the past 10 + years!

I think a lot of these are the result of girls growing up with single mothers. They see their mom supporting them while meeting up with multiple men and then feel it's alright for them to do the same thing later in their life. It's a vicious cycle. Plus social media really doesn't help the situation either and further reinforces their entitled princess mentality.

Your're so clear with all the points, great advice in general!

Thank you Courtney for looking out for us. It’s sad but true, a lot of people seem to not understand or can’t notice a red flag. Understanding and knowing different types of red flags can save you.

A red flag for me is any version of what I refer to as the "I'm not perfect, but he's worse" speech. That's when someone will technically admit to having made mistakes, being at fault in some way, but things that other people did were worse. Or somehow what the other person did justifies your bad behaviour.

Thank you for being the leading example of a high value woman. Also, you mentioned taking responsibility as well (as a woman) which is severely lacking nowadays. So thank you! All the best to you and Teddy.

Love your thinking and agree. I often see women say on their web pages something similar, "I know my worth."

One to add: I'm only available to go out on dates with you during the week because my weekends are always booked up.

Know yourself, know what you want, set standards snd boundaries, have self respect and love yourself, stick to your standards. It’s really that simple (but not so simple in reality). It’s easy to not have negativity and drama in your life. Honor yourself and avoid snd/or walk away from any person or situation that goes not meet your standards and does not improve your life. That applies to friends, job, education, romance - everything. 😊

Your channel has been really helpful! Thanks for trying to help guys in this extremely difficult dating world! Its crazy hard to meet ladies without seeming weird or creepy! I have had absolutely zero luck on online dating. 43 years old, I feel like I'm a decent looking guy. My gal friends all say I'm a great catch, but here I am single and don't seem to get noticed.

I'm 49 and single never married. When i was younger, my buddies told me, "Dude, you need to get married like us. Now, those guys that lost half of everything they've ever worked for are rethinking their advice.

This list is gold. Shows how good healthy dating is still a thing and we simply shouldn't tolerate shallow people

The part you covered about people spending too much time online and getting caught up on buzzwords and on RU-vidr's insights really resonated with me. When we keep a healthy balance and spend time out in the wild then the insights we've picked up online become a handy awareness to keep us in check without being defining factors. Too much time online is never good no matter how positive we think we are being at any one time. I really appreciated the no ads in this video and pink is certainly your colour. Cheers 🇬🇧

Couldn't agree more. Thank you for these reminders. Your time is valuable. Sadly, a lot of people don't know this.

Thank you for the heads up. Even though I’m still single and not expecting to find romance, it’s always good to keep things like this in mind.

Subscribing to this channel not only helped me to be more confident and devoted towards my passion, she has also helped me to make better decisions and dodge bullets. Thankyou big sister love your work

"the bee's knees" There it is! Thank you, Courtney. My day is now complete.

Thanks for being so aware of what others of your sex are saying. It's really helpful to guys that have little experience dating. I haven't heard some of the things you've stated that you've heard used, e.g., a female saying "I'm the prize," but it's always a red flag when anyone of either sex has to brag to get attention. Probably a different comment you haven't heard: thanks for sharing your "shock" looks with us, usually right after some female said something you objected to. You made me laugh! It isn't impossible to date, but it is very difficult--because the average female is NOT like you, and it's hard to find ones with balanced perspectives and good heads on their shoulders like you. Thanks for sharing!

your a breath of fresh air THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STANDING UP AND AGAINST TOXIC PEOPLE AND ARROGANT PEOPLE BOTH MALE AND FEMALE ***********

Courtney, that is definitely your color. It makes your natural features pop. And I just found out, congrats on your engagement, so happy for you!

I have had really bad relationships in the past and when a girl asks me about them I just say we just grew apart not throwing blame on either of us it seems to help a lot.

My (now) wife told me when we first met that she thought that "trying to be fair, to be just, is pathetic" and that she would never do that. I laughed, thinking it was a joke.

Hey Courtney, I appreciate you a lot! Video after video you keep giving us some real solid advice! Thank you so much ❤

Speaking of exes, you also have to take into consideration that there's a chance that you're also gonna be one of them, eventually, which means that if all their previous exes are "crazy", chances are that you're gonna be depicted as such, too. Do you really want that? Especially if you're both hanging in the same social circles, so that they get the chance to tell everyone of your friends (or potential dates) how crazy you are as soon as you break up.

yeah I can relate to these, however when a woman asks me with Number 2 "How much money do you make?" my default response is "Enough to live a comfortable life". By the way a 6th one you can add to the list is, "I'm still friends with my ex". If she communicates this then it seems clear to me that she's keeping him around as an option or FWB and hasn't moved on.

I've had enough bad relationships where I simply don't even want to bother anymore and my friends simply can't understand that. I try to tell them, but their brains can't wrap their heads around the fact that I'm not an animal obsessed with chasing a female down. I don't have the time, patience, energy, or ability to trust. And sleeping with someone random has no appeal.

This was a very insightful video, thank you for the knowledge.

Courtney, would love to see you do a Q&A with some 40-50 something women who were single mothers in their younger years , and talk about their personal perspective of what they would do different, and what their thoughts on dating for their grown children today is like

I went on a movie date and paid. When we were sitting in the car she says summed up: Since we went to this movie tonight I’ll go with this other guy to the other movie she wanted to see. She was telling me I needed to step up my game.

Courtney, thank you. Really. You appear to be so down to earth, so normal, pragmatic and empathic at the same time - I love it. You're the kind of woman that mankind needs - not a victim, but a strong individual.

About Red flags: having done a lot of work on attempting to notice my own programing using negative self talk unconsciously over the years, I find I'm sensitive to others negative self talk programing. It tends to create a barrier in developing relationships beyond friendships. Being friend zoned is safe. Engaging with flirtatious talk although fun seems to become conflictive and avoiding as red flags are everywhere.

My problem has been seeing the green flags and ignoring the red ones. Your videos are awesome and a good palate cleanser for my recommendations.

1) I have options 2) I don't accept coffee dates 3) All my exes are crazy 4) I'm the prize

You are a rare gem. Great video content. Very common sense and practical. Thanks for sharing Courtney.

Courtney's videos are the best on the internet for this type of topics. It is a very mature way. I'm 25 years old and I find it reaaaally complicated to find a girl in her 20's with all of this hralthy mindset that Courtney perfectly explains in her videos. Most women still tend to look for the bad boy guy and always end up suffering. I don't know but i feel like i'm a little ahead my age. My theory is that what Courtney explains is more common to find it in women over their 30's after they went through a lot they finally look for the nice guy and that's my struggle.

One good advice i got is that you want to pay close attention to how the person treats others when they have nothing to gain from them. (Waiter, stranger, etc). If you have been friends with them for a least a year prior to dating, that's even better.

It's such a huge effort for most guys to even get a 1st date, they don't have the luxury of paying attention to red flags

Courtney, I really appreciate you. I 100% agree with everything you are saying here. From my terrible experiences, I could teach this class quite well! Where were you many years ago when I was so naive and ignored more red flags than any man should be allowed to have and still survive! - Noel LaChance

"All my exes are crazy" you are correct that the common denominator is you. But it goes way deeper than that. This is not just a sign that we have poor taste, but there are major confidence and or insecurity issues at play. Especially if they haven't spent a day in therapy. I've been in therapy for years and the first exercise my therapist did was make a list of my exes, was the relationship healthy or toxic. There is a reason you are attracting that type of person. Confident people don't attract toxic or crazy

"all my exes are crazy" that's me. It takes a lot of effort to change that. I am still attracted to women with self destructive tendencies and dangerous hobbies. I still have many red flags. I also have many qualities that women really like. It's hard to navigate the world. I see progress, it's just slow.

Keep em' coming Courtney we need more.

Cockiness is loud and confidence is silent. That’s so true I have to agree

I just came across this channel! Courtney, love the brutal honesty!

Thank you so much for enlightening us, Courtney! This is gold! Paying close attention to these phrases can really make us see that we are actually dodging a huge bullet!

You are honestly the perfect woman. You're not toxic, you self refletct, you don't have this give me everything because I'm a princess mentality, and a big thing for me is it seems like you can admit when your wrong, I do this all the time but many women would never dare to do this. Maybe I'm just saying you're just an adult lmao, as rare as that is to find

Ty, your point of view opens my eyes and I think of things a little bit different now. Once again thank you for your point of view.

Courtney your content is amazing. Your demeanor is calm and intelligent and you have such a soothing voice. Keep it coming.

Solid advice, as always Courtney. Appreciate it soo much! 😌👏🏻💯

0:44 I have options. If you say that you don't love the other person 1:47 How much money do you make. If you say that you don't love the other person 2:54 I don't accept coffee dates. If you say that you don't love the other person 4:23 All of my ex's are crazy. If she says this run! 6:04 I'm the prize. If she says this she doesn't love the other person

I am a 38 year old ENFP male. But I also know today, I have dissociation and disorganized attachment. Which really work against me. As a result, I haven't dated in over 10 years. My ex fiancé, it didn't seem like no matter how hard I worked, while going to school while seeing her every 2 weeks, long distance with a 2 hour drive even dipping into my savings. I would fall asleep hanging out with her, or my friends. She would get jealous and mistreat me if I hang out with my friends, but it wouldn't stop, I tried inviting her to everything with my friends, but she would get jealous when I talked to her brother's wife..... mkay.... yeah. Then she would tell me that I had her wrapped around her finger, that all guys cheat, basically gaslighting me. No matter how hard I worked, she was always trying to turn my dials and manipulate me because she was insecure. I am much older now, and more careful, I am that way by nature of my illnesses, and she really hurt me. But I was also very sick and didn't know it. I am much more secure now, working hard on my mental and physical health. But this ruined dating for me. I can tell you that all these things I am hearing... if I even hear one of them, just tells me that you are not committed and serious, I didn't struggle through poverty and then her, to be your Santa Clause, I absolutely hate being teased, I hate the chase, the second I get a whiff of jealous behavior, we're done. She chose another man, that tells me she was afraid of her own insecurities in her head, not mine, she didn't trust herself, but I was young and didn't know better and I was tricked I listened to her, because she was a pious Christian or she believed herself superior, she was a Sunday morning Christian. I am gonna make it myself first, I am nearly there actually and I probably never will marry, my mother stole money from my family business and ended our family and the business. So go around and say these things, it's a good indicator for me that I should go and make my success first and then if I do decided to date again ... be clear immediately that if I do ever marry, then it would be by prenuptial agreement. So that none of you can waste your time, and get taken advantage of, I'll be alright, I've always been alone, just go. No one is going to take advantage of me ever again, it has nothing to do with you being a women, it has everything to do with too many people out there never grew up. I want to eliminate money as a factor, I may not even tell my partner I have money, I just want what I have never ever had, someone that wants and loves me, and not even my parents gave me that but I am so cynical at this point, I really don't think it exists. You know why guys are afraid of commitment? Well some of them have been burned badly and constantly and give up forever, even raised with a womb in their heart, without even knowing it, worn out, never taught how to love and how would they know how to? some of them don't have parents, I wish I didn't, that would have been so great, as opposed to two violent parents that mutated a round peg through a star shaped hole. No one will ever attempt to care for them, the thought doesn't even cross most peoples mind, and you wonder why some men are so dangerous. This is objectifying a man, when you disregard that they even have a heart, ridicule and shape them into something unrealistic, I am not a soul less automaton without a heart. I ain't manning up anymore, I am picking a different direction when I am ready, and if I decide, someone can walk beside me if they want, otherwise best of luck to you, you go chase after that fantasy of a man that has never ever been born. You may say it yourself all the time, you can have another man in a min. Okay, I won't stop you then, if you think that will make you happy. I am not saying guys are innocent, but this video is not about guys. I think we all know by now how bad toxic men are. I don't belong to any MRA or Men Going Their Own Way or anything else. This is just a peak behind the curtain of a very tired and used up man, I design and build entire subdivisions and go home to a house that should be condemned, no one cares that this world is turning corrupt they just are addicts F-ing around on their phones, arguing about left and right BS distractions. You also don't deserve children or even a pet if you believe in violence, don't have a child if you believe in hitting them. You are not responsible enough, like a dog owner that leaves its dog barking at home or baking in the sun. Boys, girls get serious.

This is very straightforward and helpful. Lovely, really!

0:50 lol I talked to a girl last year who told me she had “many suitors” 😂

The red flags that I've really encountered a A LOT especially recently, they'll say "do you have cashapp?" Or "send me money I need help" and of course the old "buy me drinks" even if I'm not out with them at the bar, they'll text me that lol

Thank you for these tips! I use them to help me know which friends to keep around, obviously not the intended goal, but a lot of it applies quite well to friendships with women 👏

Thank you your videos help me so much being an older man 60 years old seeking my final end of life relationship I want you to know that I am grateful for your videos

If a woman says to you that she has options, you need to her "Don't let the hit you on the way out. Thank you for showing me your true colors. I'll move on."

I feel like an inexpensive or free date is a good filter for guys trying to find the one. If she is excited to spend time with you, and you have great conversation on a walk in the park, and she happily accepts an invite to a second date for coffee, that sounds like a good start to me. I remember a certain walk in the park with my now husband of 13 years as a turning point when I knew I really felt something special with him.

You are insightful. One red flag I see is the female who blames herself for past failed relationships. That one is from very sensitive empaths who have been found to be a good source of supply to narcissists. She's likely a good person with potential greatness, but may not be able to reject narcissists. My role might be as a supporter to praise her qualities once I make her aware of them, but never a lover. As much as I may recognize a treasure, the next narcissist who analyzes her weaknesses is going to leave me conflicted between loss and violence, and I will always choose loss, unless there is an immediate threat of death or grave injury to her.

I'm glad that there are channels like yours- a large slice of common sense in a crazy world! Being so long in the tooth I've seen and heard just about as much rubbish from the entitled princess types (Markle!) as I can take without throwing up. In my youth I rarely encountered such stuff, that didn't mean that women were too different, they were just not so brazen. You could bet that all the red flags you mention have been there forever, just in different ways. In the end, as a middle of the road sort of man, I've made mistakes both ways but I always tried to learn from those mistakes. One of the best inidcators of anything right or wrong has been that old gut feeling! Wisdom rarely manifests itself in the younger members of society and it takes time to realise that you have acquired some - particularly since you don't recognise it as such, but the feeling you have is an early indicator that you're gettilng the hang of things! What I would say to all younger people seeking relatiionships is just as in making love, don't be in a hurry, take your time to absorb the actions and reactions, the language used and so on. As as a final piece of cheek from an old geezer, I just wish I was fifty years younger so that I might rub shoulders with ladies like you CR!

Man I’m so happy for Courtney and Teddy. Just seem like great quality people of character. It’s rare out here and I’m glad you found each other. Keep the faith guys, have discernment, and continue to grow to be the best man you can be. There’s hope.

Red flag #1,when a woman tells you about how unhappy she is in her marriage, and goes into details about it.hence if your unhappy and that miserable, yet you stick with it knowing it won't change,she has some real issues

What you said about giving our time as being the most valuable is what I believe as well 110%

You have a lot of knowledge, wisdom and common sense. Thanks for sharing it. It's important to recognize red flags but even more important to heed them. Sometimes we (I) dont, and there can be a huge price to pay. An interesting discussion for another video might be why do we ignore red flags? Although, that may be too depressing of a topic. Great video and beautiful color, I subbed.

Love the pink outfit Courtney, it suits you beautifully ❤

You left one out if she says “I don’t know my body count, i lost track”

Asking about salary on the first date is an absolute no go. You have your answer if they do ask causally or not.

Subscribed. Refreshing to hear a woman keep it real and acknowledge accountability.