7 EARLY WARNING SIGNS Of a Covert Narcissist

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In this informative video, '7 EARLY WARNING SIGNS Of a Covert Narcissist.' We'll uncover the subtle yet critical red flags that can help you spot covert narcissism in its early stages. Whether you're dating, in a relationship, or just starting to navigate the dating scene, learning to recognize these early warning signs is crucial. Protect yourself from emotional abuse by understanding how to spot a narcissist, even on the first date. Join us as we shed light on the signs of a covert narcissist and empower you to deal with these challenging dynamics in relationships.
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*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist

Опубликовано:

25 сен 2023

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Комментарии : 135

@CommonEgo 9 месяцев назад

Think you may be dealing with a narcissist? Find out how your experience stacks up with the stages of narcissistic abuse checklist (and workbook): ➡ DOWNLOAD THE FREE CHECKLIST HERE: www.commonego.com/checklist

@dianecarroll6384 5 месяцев назад

Thank you!

@happyday3368 7 месяцев назад

I remember years ago, my therapist told me that anyone telling you, "how honest they are" or that they "are good people" or that they are "an empath" - they are the opposite of what they claim. Good people don't have to tell you who they are - they just are.

@scottharvey4453 6 месяцев назад

My ex said she was an empath. I know she isn’t because I can’t see how someone who can feel others emotions could be such A cruel person

@apathist04 5 месяцев назад

Holy crap. My gf said all three of those

@sylvievachon1020 4 месяца назад

He said he can read people better than anyone. I watched him push his son to spill something that I think he preferred to talk to him when alone not in front of me. No respect

@sylvievachon1020 4 месяца назад

Yes we don't have to tell people who we are they will figure it as we get to know each other

@SatanenPerkele 2 месяца назад

Bingo!

@Freedomfortruth90 9 месяцев назад

Narcissist CAN apologise as a control tactic. They can definitely apologise as a way to get your guard down again so they can continue to manipulate you

@dianecarroll6384 5 месяцев назад

Yes, they can and sometimes do apologize. But as we all know , their words mean nothing. Kinda like their promises, kinda like their love, kinda like almost everything that spews from their mouth! My grandfather often said "if the words don't match the actions, the TRUTH is in the actions...NOT the words! Talk is cheap! If they apologize, there's something selfish THEY want...more than likely just to keep you strung along in order to inflict more pain on you! Beware!

@cathywasserman4571 9 месяцев назад

So spot on! One addition, many covert narcissists love to treat service people including wait staff very well, they get a lot of supply from doing so and triangulate their primary supply with them, flirting and complimenting them to show they are such a great gal or guy.

@barbarabayerlein4246 9 месяцев назад

👍

@AmbyJeans 8 месяцев назад

Definitely agree! That describes my CN and her CN dad perfectly

@MF-se1zl 29 дней назад

Totally true. Mine kept asking service workers their mames gibing generous tips and repeating restaurats so thay he would be greeted profously do as to get narcissistic supplement

@daringgreatly8473 9 месяцев назад

They are always looking to get away with something and use a random offense to justify their behavior.

@edwardhockin1127 9 месяцев назад

My ex would say to bar-staff 'buy yourself a drink' then complain that their drinks were 'too expensive' attributing it too spite. At the end she treated me thus; Generous than resentful when generousity was accepted.

@ps7850 9 месяцев назад

I’ve seen that look of contempt. I remember it and a saw it a few times over 10 months. It stuck out to me. I didn’t know that’s a sign. Thank you

@colouredlioness2199 9 месяцев назад

Yes.. twice in 10 months but we worked remote and he was my boss. I always felt he didn't like me at all underneath it all.

@aliceroberts1980 9 месяцев назад

Me to when I was first dating him and when we first got married and we were building our house. He y needed my money. but what I had was mine and he acted like I was going to just give it to him when we weren’t married and just living together and it’s like I’m not gonna just give me my money to you we’re not married and I’m glad I didn’t do that because he would’ve took my money build his house and throw me in the street so we got married after we moved in he got really nasty before if he got irritated with me or mad, I would see this look of contempt flash across his face like those micro expression. Do you know when you think you saw some thing and then you look again and you’re like no so I was never quite sure I saw what I saw, but there was a big red flag because yeah, he’s way down in the spectrum of narcissism like a sociopath

@Anonymous-kp3jf 9 месяцев назад

Excuse me I don't know English natively and Google isn't helping, what's a contempt face

@frigidmonk 5 месяцев назад

@@Anonymous-kp3jfa “contempt face” look of disgust or hatred towards the so-called “love” object. It’s not love at all….its contempt. 😢

@sofp 9 месяцев назад

Careful cuz the waiter treatment is not a redflag. Mine so suspiciously nice with everyone except me

@chriswerthenbach1938 9 месяцев назад

People with ADHD will do the “me too” in conversations, which can be misinterpreted as narcissistic.

@Duh_wettest95 3 месяца назад

Yup lol thank you this was making me nervous watching this

@GloriaScottCrossland-jj5hi 9 дней назад

Very true ☺️

@susanparker9877 9 месяцев назад

My ex would fuss over the waiter/waitress, or cashier,....wanting to know about their studies etc. I found it embarrassing. It was too much and didn't seem sincere. I think it was attention seeking behavior.

@barbarabayerlein4246 9 месяцев назад

In the middle of the experience

@barbarabayerlein4246 9 месяцев назад

I need everyone to love them another one that meets them and gives them any little bit of attention absolutely love them

@thebelleofbeale 8 месяцев назад

He was patronizing them; he really meant, “what worthless form of study (arts, etc) got you here waiting tables/being a cashier.

@angusvansatriani784 7 месяцев назад

Lucky you, j/k. That sounds like a nightmare. And what a negative trade off for what should be a fun night out. Glad you're out of that.

@izawaniek2568 9 месяцев назад

Your observations are Spot on. And I totally agree that the eye-rolling or other sighns of contempt are deal breakers! Thank you Christina❤

@PuPup2004 4 месяца назад

My covert narc never love bombed me. And he wasn't rashing to move in together. In fact it became a hook for me. He was dangling moving in with me as a carrot before a donkey. Also he never apologized because he was always right and it was always my fault. When he did apologized it was smth like "sorry you feel this way"

@will_Iam61 9 месяцев назад

It can feel like love because that is how you were treated by one or both parents when you were growing up. I was sadly conditioned to believe that all women were like this and I just had to endure during the "bad moments." I now know different.

@lazaruschrist6575 9 месяцев назад

Almost everyone are narccisist in todays world lost fleshly people hell fire material!!! Narccisists complaining about narcissist !!!!!!! YOU ARE EVEN ONE im 100% sure evem if i dont know you, ima saved christian = saw i was a SINNER accepted christ as my savior = believed he shed his blood for my sins and believe he rose from the dead on the third day 1 cor 15 1-4 kjv ! Jesus is God in the flesh !!! Wake the f up

@Mymonkquest 9 месяцев назад

I never heard the words love bombing, ghosting, until I met her. I did not know what this meant. So I looked it up…. And it was everything she did to me. She was the most abused. Molested…God …heal her…..I cannot and that is what I have to realize.

@dinab7852 6 месяцев назад

I can't stop rewatching this video...One of my favorites as it resonates with me 100%.

@davidemm829 9 месяцев назад

Ground yourself, get to know you good & not good, it may keep you from entering the fantacy of cons..

@rachelcoloradomy3kidz778 9 месяцев назад

Now it makes sense why he would get irritated that I didn't tell him much about myself deep personal things 😢he had Every Red flag but I honestly have never been in a relationship or began one with someone like this now that I remember ❤Wish I wouldn't have however it's definitely made me aware And stronger 💪❤ xoxo Tfs 😘

@whimsicalwishes1 4 месяца назад

yes! I am generally such a vulnerable and open person, but she would be upset that I wasn't sharing enough and say that she was sharing because she wanted to know more about me. I barely knew her! and I already shared everything! if I ever hesitated to share, she'd probe and probe and guilt me, asking "I just wonder why you have so much resistance to that question" 🤮

@lc4972 9 месяцев назад

My Nex was always for years saying about his mom that she just wanted attention. Over little things like her forgetting when a birthday party was. Come to find out she had terminal brain cancer. A valid reason for all the prior behavior he was calling attending seeking. I should have been gone years before I left. He used to tell me what I thought and why I did things. I was not seen, heard or validated. My life with him was an ocean of tears. I dated for 4 years. Watched and listened very closely for those crumbs that came out from under the rug where there was more of the same. Now married to a healthy person and am very happy. I never gave up but I can see why someone would! My oldest son is a narcopath so I still visit these places. 😢

@madeline2378 9 месяцев назад

My jaw dropped. How could I be so blind to it?

@kieransoregaard-utt8 8 месяцев назад

It’s really difficult to tell, especially if you’re someone who always sees the best in people. When we’re in the situation and if we like the person, we tend to excuse away their behavior. The way our brains work in situations like this is very complicated. Don’t blame yourself!

@donttreadonme2 9 месяцев назад

See, mine never was rude to waiters or service people.. yet, every other item checks off on the covert/vulnerable narcissist list.

@johntracey4196 9 месяцев назад

you become there number one fan how creepy is that

@ladyvirgo9514 9 месяцев назад

Not always true about the wait staff and how a covert treats them, my soon ex husband was always very friendly to the staff, both females & males.

@AmbyJeans 8 месяцев назад

Yep!

@diamondlight2509 6 месяцев назад

I agree with you about this, my ex Narc is very friendly with everyone like Prince Charming but beneath the mask he hid was a real demon, he’s heartless, treat everyone well except for his partner.

@ladyvirgo9514 6 месяцев назад

@@diamondlight2509 same here!!

@PeterShaw-ne1yq 9 месяцев назад

At the beginning yes! Like Christmas ! A few weeks later you start to get an indication of another face peeping up🤔

@alastair6356 7 месяцев назад

Follow your intuition at all times.

@janburke6488 Месяц назад

Hi Kim! Thank you so much for this. Being stalled on a project is a problem that has been in my way for quite a while. Just knowing that stepping away for a while is in fact positive, helps me a lot.

@waterisgold 9 месяцев назад

Thank you ❤

@SatanenPerkele 2 месяца назад

Eww, I'm such a narc magnet. It's exhausting to think you found a nice person, only to find out they are toxic. Covert narcissists are so sneaky

@Empathysuperpower 4 месяца назад

I have had several in my life…step-mom, step children (bio mom is full narc), & sister-in-law. I’ve always felt like their off with their personalities (no true love coming back). I always seen something off, I just didn’t put a name to it until two years ago this March. The education I have learned, I could never put a dollar amount on it.

@justxenaa5489 9 месяцев назад

I tried not to bring my mother into it but I do remember feeling like she was a narcissist that’s how I learned of this disorder. Our relationship has improved tremendously since I moved away. Now I think that played a role in my recent situation because I found myself trying to be liked by this person. It’s hard to admit but it was like I needed his validation then I suddenly stopped communicating. What’s strange is after gray rocking I started to share on social media and smile but as soon as I did that, the false narrative was pushed again. I don’t know but this whole thing has been very mentally taxing. I even started doubting myself thinking I am a narcissist or that I’m a covert narcissist. It just all feels like a maze. It just sucks because I don’t feel as free as I did before this person knew of me. In the beginning I chased him (which Is why I thought maybe I’m the narc) I liked him a lot and somedays I don’t know why but then I started seeing certain things and realized he didn’t like me he was playing with my feelings. So I blocked him and stopped sharing but I also started getting back on social media because I don’t feel like I should hide. I did nothing wrong. The gang stalking is even worse. I don’t feel safe anymore, not where I live, not where I work, not where I go to school. It’s truly one of the most mentally taxing things I’ve ever experienced. I would like to add that I’m past the grieving stage and accepted that my feelings were one sided this wasn’t an intimate relationship. I’m struggling with the fact that I can’t be who I was before this experience it’s has truly changed me and not like anything traumatizing that happened before. That’s the shocking part, how one person can completely change everything.

@dawnkikong637 9 месяцев назад

Would you be able to move away and start over? Now you know what/who to look out for so it might be better.

@justxenaa5489 9 месяцев назад

@@dawnkikong637 that’s the plan 😊 but unfortunately I don’t think it will change much

@barbarabayerlein4246 9 месяцев назад

Narcissist cannot love I really don't know what it is. Maybe that's part of the reason every time someone gives them a few seconds of grins, smiles and laughter he believes they actually love him. He believes everyone loves him

@aliceroberts1980 9 месяцев назад

Yeah it’s like being betrayed you trusted this person and they just used you it happened to me married 35 years and I woke up five years ago and realized it was just all fake all the pain and misery. I am so sick I thought I was crazy there for a while, was taking medication they make you feel that way they make you feel like there’s something wrong with you and there isn’t anything wrong with you it’s them

@MysticalDyl 8 месяцев назад

I totally feel you man or sis. I’m going through that too and it’s like you put up with disrespect from ppl thinking it really is just a joke and nothing deep but then you catch on that they’re actually trying to hurt you and make you feel like a pos. It is confusing but I feel like questioning if you are one or considering it is something one wouldn’t do bc I feel the same way

@vernetta111 8 месяцев назад

The love bombing with the covert narc that has literally turned me off ever dating anyone ever again was so subtle it was unreal he didnt say he loved me or anything like that but he lead me to believes we were exclusive he didnt cheat or get bored easily he said he was mine and deleted his hinge ac i asked him why he did that and he said cos he has me i found so much of what he did after he ghosted and i came back to reality very odd and strange especially a video of him pretending to be emotional and fake tearing up very bizarre 😂😂never again that was the 1st covert narc i had ever encountered its always been overts that ive been used to dealing with but the coverts are next level😮

@melyssa8585 9 месяцев назад

My ex used to brag about his accomplishments, my accomplishments, and a couple times he said mine were his or “ours” and he would even tell stories about me and the kids, like events that happened, and tell it like he was there saying “we” yet, he was never home he didn’t have time for us 🙄

@killjoyredux8361 9 месяцев назад

Mine did the same! I bought a house and she said 'we' to people about it. She was the most selfish monster I've ever had the misfortune of getting involved with. She also did the I love you thing within a month.

@ericawalker2307 9 месяцев назад

Exactly the same.

@NewMe-iq5os 9 месяцев назад

Same here too!

@clintonnagy1662 2 месяца назад

Oh boy, my ex didn't live with me in my apartment but wanted me to refer to my place as " our apartment ". She had her own house but when I said let's refer to your house as " our house " she said " why? you don't live here or pay my morgage". Hypocritical all day long.

@luna_soleil 8 месяцев назад

My ex would fawn over everyone. If i disliked someone he would take up an issue with me. When i say fawn i literally mean, every new person he interacted with his eyes became glazed with this dream like trance and he became childlike and praised everything the person says or does. I used to think he just saw the best in people. After awhile, i started to realize something else was going on when he would say any complaint I had about my roommates equated me to being a bad partner and potential wife/mother when he doesnt even know my roommates or how they live. For him, EVERYONE was and is potential for supply. He would treat others in person kind. However when i found his reddit account (which he didnt want me to know about) he was a pretty condescending and borderline argumentative troll. He was extremely self righteous and very clearly thought he was the smartest guy in the room. You wouldnt think this in person though.

@CassiE.86_ 7 месяцев назад

Sounds exactly like my ex

@dajavoosp 2 месяца назад

I had never felt that level of being special. It was insane, like a drug it was. Next thing I knew I was always being blamed for all that loveliness going away. And you end up chasing that same feeling thinking it was all your fault. I feel so stupid for falling for all that bullshit. 4 beautiful kids later and I'm at my witts end. It's a life of torture, it's like my personality was the perfect fit for a covert narcissist to take hold of. I thought in marriage you have to look inwards rather than blame the other person but it was all for the wrong type of person and its torn my heart into pieces. I feel like I've let myself down and my children. I pray that there is light at the end of this dark tunnel.

@BAHDK 9 месяцев назад

I felt so strange. She knowsI like to help others. For whatever reason, she kept telling me she give clothes from her kids to donation. That's good but what made me feel awkward was the fact that she did it repeatedly and forced it and it didnt sound genuine.

@BAHDK 9 месяцев назад

trying to make me think a certain way about her but I didn't

@briarts 9 месяцев назад

My ex didn't like waiters. They would come to the table trying to give good service and basically do their job, but she would get irritated. It was basically because it took attention away from her. She would act neutral towards them, not nice but not mean and complain about it when we left.

@clintonnagy1662 2 месяца назад

OMG. I know what you mean. Service was never good enough, and understaffed. The food sucks, and never coming back. The waitress was a snob, getting no tip....blah, blah, blah...

@briarts 2 месяца назад

@@clintonnagy1662 Yep, it was so frustrating. Even at fine dining places, she was never pleased.

@rde4017 9 месяцев назад

re the initial love-bombing - Always remember, if it seems too good to be true, it is!

@dinab7852 6 месяцев назад

My covert narcissistic ex-husband told me he loved me after 4 weeks of online long distance dating and all the steps you indicate in your videos happened to me: love bombing, contempt, discard with hoovering which eventually stopped. I started watching your channel & another channel on narcissism by the 2nd year of our marriage after realizing that something was waaaay off and had heard of the terms: "Narcissist" and "Narcissism" and BINGO! Mystery solved.

@gloriadonahue7241 9 месяцев назад

My covert narcissist It is always nice in front of people, so therefore he's always nice to Waiters. he wants everyone to know that He's such a great guy and a big Tipper. So that does not always work if you want to Check and be sure someone is a covert narcissist.

@rebeccasimmons7240 6 месяцев назад

I was having serious allergic reactions to something. Couldn’t figure out what it was. After seeing several specialist and having to go on a strict elimination diet I discovered the culprit - a favorite food of mine. Of course after I figured it out, I shared with my friend what was found. Though it was difficult I was successful in keeping away from the food and was obviously recovering. Then one day this “friend” texts me that she is dropping off a gift at my home after going to a restaurant with some other friends. Guess what was in the bag? You guessed it. That food. Although it shouldn’t have been the first noticeable red flag, it was the first one that caught my full attention and the beginning of my awareness. Anyone else have a similar experience?

@andijonesgrif 2 месяца назад

Is there a script these guys use? Its amazing how specific the behaviours they have in common are.

@luna_soleil 8 месяцев назад

My ex was also very good at pretending to care or be interested in other people. He was good at pretending to love his family. When his "best friend" from high school had a heart attack at age 35, he forgot. When his other best friend and wife were laid up with covid for weeks, he never checked in on them. When his sisters both were laid up with covid for weeks, he never checked on them or brought them supplies. When his elderly neighbors brother and last remaining family passed away, mind you this neighbor did SO much for my ex, he couldnt even pretend to care. I had to tell him to take a plate of food over (he was always cooking elaborate meals for himself) to the poor guy...

@thewaveoracle8513 9 месяцев назад

This is wild. I'm still reeling from the last covert narcissist I dated and how she frequently did ALL of these things, except for one: she did not act like she could look down on me...for long. Every time she did it, my reaction got increasingly worse. You know what she did do for most of the relationship, though? Compare herself to me and flatter herself in front of people saying she knew as much or was as good as me at things I was good at that not only were absolutely false but even impossible to be my equal no matter how much natural talent she might have. Concrete example: she is 11 years younger than me, is a fan of astrology and went to some courses for about a week, never having read even a single book on the subject, and said she knew just as much as me to an Air BnB host we had just met, even though I started fervently studying it when I was even younger than she is now, and eventually started doing it professionally, devouring books upon books on the subject. How big of an ego do you have to have, and how massively blown up must your opinion of yourself and your talent be, to think scattered, aficionado practice of a discipline and one week of study make you the equal of someone 10+ years your senior in both life AND the subject matter, with systematic dedication and practice during most of that time? 😅 I didn't correct her when she said it because it was a lie so self-serving and massive that I internally went into shock out of sheer disbelief that such a thing were possible.

@Chiarawoh 8 месяцев назад

No response might’ve been the best response 👍🏻 They live in their own delusion and no matter what we do or say we won’t change it. So glad you’re out of there

@kieransoregaard-utt8 8 месяцев назад

🚩

@user-ll7ep6qd4n 9 месяцев назад

My husband is always calling me a liar no matter what comes out of my mouth! Everything he says is the truth and everything I say is a lie. The way I remember things is never correct and conversations I know we had he swears we didn't. He calls me the worst names, explodes for no reason, and he swears I treat him bad and start everything but it's not me it is him. He projects his behavior on me. He says I am a narcissist, sociopath, and psychopath and everyone knows it and knows wants to be around me. When I have a problem with a behavior and say something somehow it ends up turning into an argument about what I did wrong. Am I the problem? Am I a narcissist? I am so confused at this point!

9 месяцев назад

yea my Covert Narcissist ex did all this things and she even showed up on my door many times as if she did me a favore, i did react to it but did not say anything because it was in the intence love bombing fase... this video was spot on :) are the sesions with you personaly ? 900 dollars is a strech, what i could need is a web talk and tell you my story and hear your opinion, because even afther 16 monts i stil dought myself stupid as it is. And now she is looking at all my stories on insta and facebook and the other day even hearted one post. this afther she acted in a horrible way and also are in a new relationship. I gues it is faling apart and she is trying to get my atention ?! ;)

@MI6-W 4 месяца назад

Proverbs 12:26 (NKJV) The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.

@Scottietada 9 месяцев назад

I am sorry to correct you, it may have been a "he" for you. Not all are male, I have had very abusive narcissistic behaviour directed at myself from a female.

@CommonEgo 9 месяцев назад

No need to apologize 😊 but just checked the transcript and I think every time I said “he” was when I was reading comments. And I didn’t realize until just now how heavy the comments were on “he’s” this time, but that’s kinda just the luck of the draw. I just try to find the most relevant or helpful comments to share 🙏❤️

@Anonymous-kp3jf 9 месяцев назад

5:47 also please don't assume that this necessarily means bad things cause traumatized people of any kind can find that mode of communication accomodating for either their neurotype or their current brain/mental state. It doesn't necessarily mean they're a narc or not ready for a relationship. If they DO try to actually ONE-UP you, then that's obvious to everyone instead. Yes red flag 100%

@kieransoregaard-utt8 8 месяцев назад

That’s just an excuse. If a person does this, it might not mean they’re a narcissist, but it means that their communication skills are poor. If you can’t stop talking about yourself and you don’t know how to focus on other people for a while, that means you’re too self-focused and need to work on focusing on others more.

@Jamie_Jace 9 месяцев назад

My ex forced me on depression meds WHILE PREGNANT because he said I was depressed. No, I caught him in a huge lie & wouldn't drop it. Fast forward a little bit... he tried to give me an accidental OD as he was setting me up for my own death! Trying to tell everyone that I was depressed & unhinged when it failed & I went to the hospital & police. He's such a good CN. Somehow, he's not in prison yet... Run... if you see ANY of these warning signs, please just run. The lovebombing is real, but it's not real love.

@clintonnagy1662 2 месяца назад

My ex would constantly called me at work and soak up my time to the point of getting me in trouble. She would downplay my job, and say it's not a good place to work if they don't let you talk on the phone during working hours to her. If I were fired she would of said " See, they don't care about you ". And I'd be the one without a job. Typical NC crap.

@rapstar4575 3 месяца назад

Morning ❤

@No1_Inpa_Ticular 9 месяцев назад

My ex definitely had some of these examples but not all. Does that make a difference? I still go back in forth in my mind trying to decide whether or not she is a narcissist. She definitely didn’t treat me well and did a lot of terribly hurtful things. But according to her I was the one who was gaslighting and a narcissist, anytime I suggested something like that first. She turned everything around and say it was my fault all the time. She would never apologize for a fight either. Since she’s left I’ve been working on myself to try and heal. I want to figure out who I am. I often still question whether I was the problem in our relationship. I think it’s harder for me to really know because during that period of time I had turned to alcohol more and more to escape the hurt. Because I was drunk during a lot of our fights I can’t 100% say I know exactly how it happened. I always admitted to my faults, but who am I to say what really happened when I was in an altered state during that time.

@frigidmonk 5 месяцев назад

Own your side of the communication breakdown 💯and learn from it if you can. We all make mistakes but, if your X has no accountability for any part of the discord in your relationship eh, red flag 🚩! If it feels wrong time and time again it probably is. They are really good at turning the argument against you. You being liquored up doesn’t help for sure. When drinking to ignore the hole in my heart due to lack of TRUE intimacy, from my partner, my filter became nonexistent and when she’d poke the bear 🐻 I’d loose my shit! Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn…yeah, my anxious attachment would rear its ugly head and my triggered, abandoned inner child freaked into FIGHT MODE and attacked! It was a gesture to hurt and push away the bully that refused to empathize with the hurt and emptiness I was experiencing as I reached out to her for solace. It is difficult to navigate and select a calm, measured course of action when you’re a co-dependent and are willing to put up with B.S. out of fear of never finding another relationship. Space in the relationship can allow some perspective as to what might really be going on in the relationship. Good luck and ask God to carry you through these tough days. You are worthy of respect and love. The maladaptive child coping behaviors you developed to survive no longer serve you as an adult. Time to be the secure parent for little you and take care of yourself. It will take time to accept yourself as worthy of love but, if you want to be loved you must first love yourself. Be well!🙏😮

@matthewishunting 4 месяца назад

I know a covert narc who treats waiters overly nice. They love the forced attention they receive and they love "helping out" when it comes to people in shitty jobs

@Arrtists 8 месяцев назад

It’s all a facade. I’m beginning to see. I feel almost violated

@garyrobinson8665 5 месяцев назад

My girlfriend would want gifts all the time. She ghosted me because i refused to buy her a cd. She had very little interest in my life. She wouldn't ask me any questions about myself for example what's your favourite movie? My friend died recently and she never asked me how i was feeling. When i told her she couldn't wait to change the subject. She had no empathy. That was the biggest red flag. I didn't know it was narcissism. I was blinded by her beauty.

@khyemali7868 6 месяцев назад

The look of contempt. Once when I was 11 and my sister was 13, we were staying in a hotel with my grandmother. My grandmother had gone out leaving us alone for a few hours. I was drawing and writing in my journal as I often did to escape. Meanwhile my sister is verbally assaulting me. "You're ugly, you're fat, you're stupid, nobody will ever love you", over and over for about 45mins without a response. Then, my grandmother quietly and unexpectedly enters. We lock eyes, and upon hearing my sister, she tells me (none verbally) to act natural. I do. Then she surprises my sister catching her completely off guard. First there was fear, but as my grandmother tore into her.... There it was, the look of contempt. It usually means she will punish me later.

@aliceroberts1980 9 месяцев назад

I was little things and I thought we’ll I don’t want to break up over something little like that but it gets worse now if I saw it right away I know what I’m looking at . Contempt is like hatred really hate you I mean hate you How could you hate somebody you love like I get angry with people I love but I still love them not narcissists now they love you one second and hate you the next . He told me once he hated me. Another thing that’s really cruel well everything they do is cruel they say the most horrible things to you in an argument when you’re sitting there crying and he accused me one day of trying to use my tears to manipulate him I mean, he just ripped my heart out and I’m really crying. I’m very very upset, and then he accuse me of trying to manipulate him with tears it’s like getting punched in the face and then kicked in the gut. Or they laugh at you and mock you oh boo-hoo you’re such a baby.

@TheHashassin12 9 месяцев назад

❤

@DaDoubleDee 8 месяцев назад

Talking about trampling boundaries, my brothers now wife, first time I met her was at a party at his place, they had sex in the same room while there was 8 of us trying to sleep - twice in the night (we all heard and were loudly commenting on it - they didn't notice). Then the first time she came over to my home, they came into my room when I was showing her around, she started to touch my brother sexually and dirty talk him in front of me, and when I told them to stop, she looked at me like I just ran over her dog - who acts like this and isn't insane? She is the first covert narc in my life, so I had NO IDEA how to process this type of behavior. She constantly insulted me in the sneakiest passive aggressive way over the years and I have been completely blindsided by all of it. I really regret not putting my foot down earlier and standing up for myself but she's so good at the political mind games and making herself seem like a good person, and my brother of course joins in in his own way. Recently after doing some actual research, I realize my family is full of narcs (including my brother, who lets his girlfriend act like this in front of family?), and I've been trauma bombed consistently for my whole life.

@davidemm829 9 месяцев назад

I spent 3 hours with female covert ....bling, I asked, " did something happen to you in childhood, cause you have covert narcissist, I don't like you get out of my car" I'm no kidding and I'm not screwing around with these sub species no matter how they look...felt good

@astrialindah2773 9 месяцев назад

🙄

@dahliafiend 9 месяцев назад

That not how it works.

@PeterShaw-ne1yq 9 месяцев назад

Could you rephrase your comment 🤔

@PeterShaw-ne1yq 9 месяцев назад

I did notice the contempt face she projected and I retreated from her after that she has forwarded tentative hoovering but I just ignored it and have not spoken to her since. The author above cited a few of their negative traits 🤔

@AmbyJeans 8 месяцев назад

That’s messed up

@simpatico4004 4 месяца назад

I think I was so desperate to believe that she genuinely loved me, that I wrote off every red flag. When I recall moments of her claiming that her extreme level of empathy was a gift and curse, I can’t help that realize that was a mask. But whenever I’d beg her to put herself in my shoes for a moment and imagine how I feel to a given situation, she’d just coldly say your feelings are valid. Never adjusted her behavior, to the point I felt I had to adjust very valid emotional responses. I honestly began to question my emotions. I still occasionally get angry at myself because I feel like I allowed myself to be disrespected relentlessly. I guess the relationship gave me a false sense of security. Like at least I’m not alone. I would rationalize everything she did down to the fact that she suffers from adhd. In the end I was discarded. It always felt like I was auditioning for her love. I gave everything, and more was expected. Although it still hurts, it’s empowering learning from this channel and reading the comments. Im not internalizing the emotional abuse as much.

@clintonnagy1662 2 месяца назад

Everything you posted I relate 💯. It's comforting hearing others speak of the same abuse and healing. These videos have been a God send for my recovery and understanding.

@keyvaan6714 9 месяцев назад

I think I am a covert narcissist. But what is the next step? What can I do? How can I be better than stopping my abuse and help people more?

@NarcDecoded 8 месяцев назад

Practice love, patience, kindness, forgiving others for their wrong doings. Be honest with yourself and with everyone. Be accountable. Be willing to accept your mistakes so that you can learn from them and grow. Be gentle with yourself and with others. Respect yourself and be respectful to others. Surround yourself with loving people. Shun evil and walk in the light and truth.

@felicityh.1947 6 месяцев назад

So worried I’m going to fall for it again. Am I crazy to feel like I’m seeing patterns repeat themselves? What are the chances of it happening again? I never thought I’d fall for it, and now afterwards, I feel like I see it everywhere.

@Hrotcalte 6 месяцев назад

I think I understand how you feel. I struggled for years to trust new friends and acquaintances. I'm still more wary than I'd like, but it's gotten more liveable and I feel more ok with letting myself learn to trust people slowly instead of giving too much benefit of the doubt at the outset. I hope things improve for you too. This is such a difficult process.

@frigidmonk 5 месяцев назад

How does the 38 Special song go…”hold on loosely…” Guard your heart at first and keep your expectations neutral. You’ll be happily surprised if things work out for the better and be WAY less disappointed if the don’t. Be well!🙏

@clintonnagy1662 2 месяца назад

I never know what I'm gonna do until I do it. I often feel like the narc. Sometimes I form poor behavioral skills. Especially in my last relationship. Her poor behavior triggered my poor behavior. It's toxic. Inevitably, we parted ways to save ourselves. I miss her but probably for the best?

@pandoratheclay 4 месяца назад

Declawing narcissists, one video at a time

@dahliafiend 9 месяцев назад

These don’t seem very covert. Expecting red flags this bold early one to warn you of a CN is wishful thinking.

@Rosemburnv 9 месяцев назад

everyone’s ex is approaching a narcissist 💀

@Creativecatalyst.. 9 месяцев назад

To the girls that’s still in a toxic relationship I know it’s not easy but please put yourself first. Life will be better without him and If you're a victim or suspect cheating & need help confirming your suspicion, you may contact 👇

@Creativecatalyst.. 9 месяцев назад

Shadowbyte7.. where You could get to know if your narcissist partner is cheating or having an affair with someone else by just discreetly spying on their calls, socials,and locations on Telegram only

@user-pc4ve5cy5e 6 месяцев назад

😊 WW a

@bigdhell9303 9 месяцев назад

And your profession is? A plumber’s arguments and insights on the subject are untrustworthy, because he/she lacks a proper education and practical knowledge regardless of their life experience. Personality disorders are much harder to analyze and understand than most people think. I think it’s important to state your profession at the beginning of your videos so that people can decide if you’re trustworthy and reliable to watch or not.

@jasonforsyth6191 9 месяцев назад

I am a Narc magnet, while I acknowledge all this behavior, I honestly have to say that coverts don't generally know they are narcissist,

@clintonnagy1662 2 месяца назад

So, she is the one that needs counseling but I'm the one who went. Somehow the dynamics got flipped, and she is ok with that???

@whimsicalwishes1 4 месяца назад

all the things she told me when I told her I was hurt when she would ignore me or give me the silent treatment: sounds like you're projecting that sounds like a you problem I can't be responsible for your emotions I'm sorry you're hurting those are just my boundaries you're just sensitive because you like me +tone/word policing - she got so upset when I told her how someone ignoring me makes me feel like my humanity is being dismissed 🫠

@clintonnagy1662 2 месяца назад

I went through that but God forbid when you do that to them. It's a different story. I use to cross her boundaries when she would dismiss my feelings and not respond. I would drive 20 minutes over there just make my point, that I won't be ignored. LOL I guess I developed poor narc habits being in that relationship...and hate myself for taking it that far. In therapy now reversing the affects of my psych.