Long time listener here. I love the staging around the table. It feels more personal. We get to see all 4 of you in one shot. Great job on keeping the camera varied as well! Thank you!
I'm a never mormon regular listener. Mormon stories have done so much to help me deconstruct from my charismatic evangelical upbringing and find my own way. It's close enough that I relate but different enough that it didn't offend me years ago when my own shelf was breaking. This is one of my favorite episodes so far. John and Margie are the best interviewers in the whole religious deconstruction space.
Same with me! Enough unique things about mormonism that it gave me breathing room for my own raw feeling about my experiences, but it rang true enough that I got to digest things I had put away years and years ago.
Same here! I started listening before I realized my own southern baptist/evangelical shelf was breaking. It seemed safe because I thought it was so different. But then I started to see the ways my own scrupulocity was hindering and hurting me. I've listened to so many episodes now and I've healed from my own religious trauma and I so enjoy hearing people's stories.
I've been watching Mormon Stories for years now. I've never been Mormon and have only met one Mormon in my whole life, so your guess is as good as mine as to why or how I even found you. All this to say, I want to thank you all at Mormon Stories (and just the exmormon community at large) from the bottom of my heart for the work you do. I feel so privileged to be able to enter this sacred space you've all created together and hear these precious stories. It has helped me immensely in my own healing from my fundamentalist-adjacent Baptist background. And now it's helping my mom too. You are bringing love, truth, and light to the world, and the effects will ripple outwards for centuries. I'm confident of that. Allowing people to just tell their stories is so so powerful. Thank you again, and I wish you all love and healing. ❤
@@Nikki-f9o You may be surprised where you see them. A few months ago I went to our nearby bbq place for dinner. If i hadn't watched so much of this channel I may not have realized exactly what I was seeing at the next table. Two very clean cut young men, white shirts, dark slacks, sitting with a middle aged, clearly successful man. And there was no father sons vibe at all. After I finished eating I did approach them and ask if they were missionaries? They happily said yes. As we talked, one told me he was from Utah. You could actually see him puff with pride,. The other one was very proud to be from Idaho. Well this is the very deep South. I asked if they had wanted foreign missions and if so, were they disappointed when they received their call letters? But I immediately made a joke about, but surprise, down here turned out to be foreign after all. They all truly had a deep laugh over that. I told the older gentleman that I bet these elders really appreciated being hosted for dinner. And told the boys to eat up all they could, I'd heard that the pickin's could be slim in missions. I'm sure they knew I wasn't Mormon but we had at a very pleasant convo and I left before I could be asked if I belonged. This is a very small town with very few Mormons, so that local guy would have known me if I belonged, or had belonged. So that's my story about coming across Mormons in the wild. I kept it very friendly while having a bit of fun too. I'm positive they were absolutely mystified but too polite maybe to say anything. Keep your eyes open, you never know.
And the same with John and Margie. I'm always so amazed by them and their relationship. I would feel so grateful if my children someday have partners who look at and speak of them like we see in these two examples.
@@EmB-ix9tt I'm pretty sure Margie is a runner. That always did it for me. And horses. So just start a little bit of running and find some horses to groom. 😀
I have at least 50 RU-vid channels I subscribe to. But Mormon Stories with Dr. John Dehlin has become one of my most cherished and enlightening YT channels I am happy to say. Although I have never been a Mormon, but as a RN I cared for a number Mormon patients ( in NM ) as a psychiatric nurse so I became curious about the Mormon religion. I recognized many parallels between my Catholic indoctrination and brainwashing as a little child in parochial school and Mormonism. I left the Catholic Church right after high school graduation. I have a deeply keen interest in social psychology and cultish religions given my own background with the Catholic cult. I love the honesty, authenticity, compassion, kindness and enlightening evidence based knowledge that Dr John brings to the table with his high standards of integrity and genuine sincerity and professionalism that he shares on his podcasts without exception. As a result I look forward to every new podcast episode that Dr. John shares every week. He is a goldmine of insightful information that helps me to better understand why I needed to leave the Catholic Church some 50 years ago. It took me a long time to heal and recover after the Catholics got a hold of my childhood mind and programmed it with their ignorant dogmas. I am thrilled that Dr Dehlin is supporting the ex Mormon and current Mormon community by shedding Light on things long hidden or covered up. As the Bible states, “the Truth sets us Free” even though it can be quite inconvenient and even challenging at the times to deal with. Cognitive dissonance can be especially painful at first, but it all inevitably passes once we embrace the Light of Truth. Once we do, we can Shine forth into the outer darkness with the Light of Truth. This is what I love so much about Mormon Stories. I think there’s a little Mormonism in all of us. There is so much I can relate to in Dr John’s podcasts. Keep up the Good Work, John! God indeed works in mysterious ways and one of the ways He’s working is to Wake Us Up through Mormon Stories! There’s never a dull moment on Mormon Stories! I love Truth as a long time Truth seeker and Mormon Stories is all about drilling down on the falsehood by deconstructing it to reveal and expose the Truth! 🌀 ✨☀️✨🌘🌞🌒✨☀️✨
I have considered going back to my old Catholic Church especially after reading and studying the lives of early saints and the oldest Catholic calling of the consecrated Virgin . A good friend of mine took her vows several years ago and dedicates her life to Jesus Christ. She is also a naval officer. I find more comfort there than here although I have not left this LDS church yet...
@@rosemariebennett7213 This came to you for a reason. Not telling you what to do or which direction to go, (I’m not Catholic.) just saying maybe listen to the still small voice. It’s probably God’s. 😊
I don’t know how I ended up here. But what a great conversation. I know nothing of the Mormon experience. But to hear 4 parents talk so mindful of raising their children and their choices with no shame, so refreshing. It’s not like a liberal hands off, but a well thought out and developed sense of developing those children into good well rounded people.
You don't need to be threatened into raising good kids. My kids turned out wonderfully without the threats of hell and with only one involved parent. I had fewer problems than many of my devout friends.
@@Chezsey ofc it can be done, and well done to you. I’m not a parent. But was raised by 2. I found this chat and the thought behind the raising of their children outside of the church, to be different to anything I’ve heard from friends or my own experiences. My friends take on parenting is “you just get on with it.” These people are really taking serious time and consideration and consultation about how best to develop those kids into great human beings. I know thats most parents aim, but I often feel life and things get in the way for parents to be really mindful of what’s right for their kids and how best to developed their decision making and responsibilities. But maybe I’m making it sound too simple, I’m not a parent.
I'm a never-mo who loves Mormon Stories. It has so much for everyone, whether you are religious or not - dysfunctional family dynamics, anxiety/depression, marriage & family issues, teenage issues of all the above, etc. - that can be helpful to so many people. This is the best episode, #1 in my top ten. This is such a lovely couple that made me laugh (a lot) and cry.
OMG I relate to everything she is saying!! Hands down this is the best episode I’ve seen so far. The bit about Mormon influencers… you hit the nail right on the head! Wanting to be seen. I left 8 years ago and just started going to a non denominational church last year. I was actually afraid to start going to church again because I was worried I would be taking on the “religious stress” all over again… it has been the complete opposite. I’ve never felt more peace in my life, more QUIET confidence and for the first time actually having a real relationship with Christ. ❤️
Absolutely beautiful story- as a 42-year-old mom with an 11 and 13-year olds, I truly appreciated the parenting advice given towards the end of this episode. You two are wonderful- keepin it real and finding better parenting and marriage thru it all. 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Wow! Great episode. I can relate so much to Jennifer's relationship with basketball. I was raised a Jehovahs witness. JW parents don't allow their kids to play for any organized teams so I never got to chase that dream but basketball was my escape also. Now that I left religion I'm training my daughter and she gets to play wherever and whenever she wants to.
Outstanding interview with Outstanding people. Got me alittle emotional at times listening to their experiences. Thankyou MS and these wonderful people. (Listening all the way from New Zealand) Much love and respect. 💜
Another wonderful group of survivors. What a beautiful family. You are enough just being you. Thamk you for sharing your story. Absolutely love this channel. Power To Survivors!;❤ you are not evil. You are perfect. Margi is so amazing. I hope she felt safe with her, its hard not too. ❤
I lived in Brentwood for 15 years. My boys graduated from Brentwood High School. After I got divorced I moved off Haywood Lane. So it’s cool hearing from areas I’m from ❤️ I hope y’all got to hang out downtown Nashville!
That was a great conversation… loved hearing about the son that was arranging his accommodations after he heard that his parents were going to divorce ! Blessings to this family! ❤️🇨🇦
I can relate to this podcast sooo much!!! I did feel that my virginity was my value. 😢 The purity culture has affected my whole life. It has caused so much turmoil in my mind that has affected my marriage. I was afraid to be sexual even after marriage.
Wow. I love this couple. What a love story - honesty and trust and built on fully sharing. Thank you so much for telling your powerful story. You are not wounded birds. You are incredibly nice people who I'd love to be friends with. The church really complicates sections of our lives. You, Darian and Jennifer are such great people. I'm a Mormon who left the church after the church threw me out when I needed it the most in my life. Barely made it thru a suicidal period. Thank you for sharing your very good great love story.
See, that’s what I don’t get. God is love, & that sort of treatment from any church is unacceptable & not at all Godly. That behavior is from “the church,” not God, which hopefully tells you all you need to know.
One of your faithful Never Mo fans. This was a GREAT interview! I am famous for saying, “Life is a journey.” This couple has had an interesting journey. It seems Mormonism doesn’t want you to progress beyond the very basics of the Mormon gospel. Get your testimony early and keep it!
Thank you for this channel. I have been “reprogramming” from organized religion for several years. The “unstructured” life is very difficult going from the strict structure. Your program and variety of guests has been very helpful. Thank you.
Never Mormon who grew up in slc and something she said connected with me so much about feeling shamed for liking boys. In middle school when I was starting to “date” I remember feeling so shamed by Mormon moms of the guys I was talking to. I remember not understanding why their sons who I felt instigated most of the flirting didn’t get the same attention. I think back to what I was experiencing and it was so innocent. I felt so much shame for any expression of affection.
I'm in the process of figuring out who I am after leaving the church, and I'm realizing how limited my opportunities were growing up because of how closely my family followed the rules of the church. I used to play volleyball. I loved it. I wasn't great, but I was good. But I knew I couldn't go far with it because in order to play at a high school level, you pretty much needed to also be on a club team and since they competed on Sunday's, it was not even an option. So I quit before I got there. Same with violin- I played in the local orchestra, but the next age level had practice on Sunday, so I couldn't move up from the level I was at. I was not encouraged to pursue my interests. There was only church. I don't think my parents even knew what my interests were. I didn't feel seen. So I'm working to pay attention to my children's unique interests and qualities, and I let them know that I notice and see them. I'm supporting them in what they want to do. (I'm also choosing not to have too many kids so that we can afford to give them that attention and support.) Hearing this being talked about here was super validating to my parenting philosophy, thank you.
Your words rang true; I felt the spirit. I still have chills. I'm so glad the church no longer owns or controls my spirituality. Love to you and your family (and to the Dehlins, too.)
Excellent interview and love the round table format. FWIW, I was so like Jennifer. Into sports and my career. BYU was a nightmare with few women friends and it stayed the same after graduation. I had nothing in common with women in the church and so much in common with all people outside of the church. Not the reason I left but we are similar. Amazing couple!
This is probably one of my favorite interviews to date. I want to be their friends so bad. Darian is so freaking nonchalantly HILARIOUS and I really just want Jenifer to adopt me. The way they describe their parenting style is SO ME!!! My husband and I are currently PIMO’s but we let our Junior drink with great communication and trust involved. Thank you for sharing. Love from Idaho. ❤
This was such a GOOD episode!!! I love their unconditional love for each other so much - it’s Beautiful. I loved the idea of the Artsy Patriarchal Blessing for each child. I really want to see a sample of each of them😊. I bet they are fantastic- what a treasured idea (unlike a regular P.Blessing). I’m an Artist and would love to create this idea for my kids and grandkids.
I love the things that were said in this! The one about his daughters being like 1/10 person in polygamy just said so much! Because that was the one thing that started me on my own journey out
I absolutely love this interview. Jennifer does such a great job at explaining how women are not always a safe place for other women in the Mormon world. Young women should not be shamed the way they are, it is a sad and mentally abusive practice.
I played this pre existence game when I was 9! This was in Utah! I also figured out the game and I went to the “celestial room” with cake and pizza, etc. my siblings were in outer darkness in an over heated room with saltines and no water.
Great episode. I love different personalities 🤣 She does not let her husband talk 🤣 I don't think he finished a single sentence without her overlaying words or straight up interjecting. Lol. I love people!
I love the ending here while they’re discussing their new parenting style. I was not bored or raised in any orthodox religion, but I had an extremely similar parenting style and I never felt the need to rebel and my parents knew about EVERYTHING I was up to (I wasn’t a saint either lol!). And if they disagreed or worried about me, I knew how important that was. I’m 30 years old now and my parents have always been my closest friends and mentors. I feel extremely privileged to have been raised this way. I’m so glad their kids will have this luxury as well. It will make them more empathetic and charismatic adults!
Where do I go to learn when Darian begins a comedy career. We listen to some serious and heavy accounts so I appreciate the levity he brings. He had me rolling at some points. Especailly about being 3 degrees hotter than luke warm. Thanks for sharing their story. It was great to get these points of view.
“You’re responsible for making sure men don’t look at you…” “…that was your job.” “felt shame…” “Don’t be you…” I SO get this, but for a different reason. I’ve never been Mormon. On another note, I grew up near where they are, & IMO, that was extremely brave to start a Mormon church where there are zero Mormons. & I was on the other side of it where you never really saw any Mormons unless it was a visit from the 2 boys on bikes. I always admired their discipline, & now that I’ve learned as much as I have about their teachings & the method by which they’re taught, it all makes sense. In the south (or my part of it anyway) Mormons had the unfortunate reputation of being “cultish.” & I just remember the few Mormons I knew later in life & thinking how disciplined they were about the no caffeine, yet the man I knew was sleeping around. So committed to the lesser of the 2??? But at the same time, there were people in the church where I grew up who were sinning as well. Sin is sin. 🤷🏼♀️
Do you have a video that explains the translation of the characters document? Im comfused about this. They are saying its been translated and is directly from the gold plates. I have one foot in the church and one out. This has been a painful experience for me, thank you.
I'm so sad about what Jennifer went through regarding having relationships with women. I had a similar thing in my own home growing up. But I luckily I did make great friends with women starting young. So i never had that discomfort and distrust. I'm definitely a lot, big personality etc. That doesn't always go over well. Especially with the churchy ladies. What stood out to me was her usage of the term females instead of women. Even in the same breath as she said men in the same context. These two do not have the quiet seriousness I equate with the Mormon Church. Oh well, that's the Church's loss. 😂 Thank you for this interview. Great material. You're all great.
I’m sad she feels the need to continue the narrative that she gets along best with men. She had to have said it a dozen times in the interview. Seems like it’s a choice she has embraced fully. To each her own. I personally found her need to keep emphasizing that to be a little off-putting. On the other hand, she shared lots of great information about being a girl and woman in the church. Cute couple.
@@JillynnStevens I agree. And one comment she made early on, even went so far as too sound very pick me. But the reality is it probably just reflects deeply imagined church culture that's women just aren't as valuable as men. Hence, being friends with the more valuable sex might make me more valuable. It's just so sad.
I don't hear anyone talking about how Joseph Smith's peep stone is a "Tiger Eye" stone used in witchcraft to receive revelations, which is what he did. So, Mormanism was founded by witchcraft.
My mother had the same experience going to 1:58:49 a Dr. in Utah in 1954 right before marriage. He said, “you’re a healthy woman so there is no reason for you to need birth control.” She was a good Mormon girl who didn’t question authority so she had her first baby Nine months and one week after the wedding.
As and outsider to “the church” and Utah until moving here as a young adult, I couldn’t wrap my mind around why are my kids not making friends etc in sports? I figured out after a while oh I see me not being born and raised Utah Mormon BUT what I’m learning here in this fantastic episode has shed so much more light and clarity on the subject for me thank you!! My kids are super tall and strong too but nope, it’s a VERY delicate dance in southern Utah or you will get shunned and ganged up on. Can’t be taking any attention from other players, that’s their only identity and how they can get attention that doesn’t involve the church ! 😳 (which makes me sad for them honestly of course) but yeah, sports in southern Utah…..intense.
I’ve even had ppl in salt lake tell me “oh yeah everyone knows if you play a team from southern Utah, you’ll lose.” They take sports very seriously and I never knew why, now I do thank you!
the story of Abraham and Isaac I think is one of the most beautiful stories throughout the Bible I may be up there one of my most favorite stories as a child
I recently was told by a mormon, "there are no home teachers anymore." We don't get called or visited by anyone. I noticed that anytime the bishop is moving, the whole ward shows up to help him move. But when we called (after living in the same house for 10 years) no one offered. I even asked to get help with cleaning up our new yard (not hard work) and no one responded to any of our requests. I guess you're either considered "in" or "out" and forget about what nationality you are, they just don't care.
I lived this episode and watched it straight through. I was very confused by the editing at the end but wouldn't have bothered to comment, but I don't want people to miss what comes at the very end. So the four principles say their thanks to each other then suddenly we cut to an empty table with chairs ask you in that scene fades to a blur that lasts far too long. I fast forwarded it through to the end but saw some people sit back down at the table. So I rewound to that spot and the three kids were sitting there. So I'm writing this to let you know that as soon as you see the empty table, fast forward until you see three people sit down and you'll get to enjoy a little back and forth between the three kids.
I'm a Nemo and was just curious after hearing about Mormon's committing crimes... I wanted to understand the beliefs and how people can justify murder.
I’m here at 2:58:00 “Your’e here your’re angry it’s ok I don’t fear you” and remember being in Gospel Doctrine feeling like a failure as a mom because they were talking about contention is of the devil & our children should not be fighting when at the time that’s all my kids did! I was laughing it off but I truly felt hopeless!
I'm not at all a Mormon, but I listen to this podcast to try to understand them, as I work as a teacher at Utah public schools were I'd say 90% of the teachers are Mormon or were raised that way and it's fucking weird. I feel like an outsider all the time and have never had running buddies or buddies to grab a drink with, or go out on a Friday night, as I always did in my Native California. There's a whole sweep it under the rug culture and a lot of unsaid social things and it's generally hated that I'm direct. I'm in Salty Lake City and always have tried to get an East Side school job and I've relinquished to the fact that it's not happening after interviewing for 8 years because I'm not Momo. Anyhow, I do love this podcast. I learn a lot and I enjoy your interviews. And I have met some really great Mormon folks too, just seeking to understand...
Really enjoyed this interview… can’t get behind the idea of having your kids discuss having sex for the first time with all the parents 😮 if you trust them with a Drivers license you should trust them to make good decisions about sex drinking and drugs
