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Or we just think , meh she ain't interested or is playing games which pings red flags , so we move on , hang out with our buddies, concentrate with work and carry on with life .
There’s a balance. What I find fun in a budding relationship is reciprocal enthusiasm. When two people are openly and unabashedly interested in each other. There’s no need for playing games when this kind of synergy exists. Holding back like this suggests, will only have a bad result and is indicative of immaturity. On the other hand, I do think men enjoy being the pursuers so at some point allowing him to “chase” but responding positively to his advances raises good energy!
I love this guy. I admit I was skeptical when I saw the title and almost didn’t watch, but I’m glad I did. Nurturing oneself is a beautiful way to approach being ready for a man in ones life--to give yourself what you want from him and be the person you’re looking for.
I want a loving, caring , exciting relationship where me and my partner are connecting at a deeper level of understanding😊 and there is warmth, love, sunshine and all the good things in life❤️
I always use “ self love “ coz loving yourself is not selfish at all. Its really about knowing your value and worth as a woman. And we should never apologize for having high standards in love because the right man or the man who really wants to be in your life will rise up to meet those standards" 💯he have to prove himself that he is the missing piece of me then his indeed my person .
I agree to this 100% Finally someone said it! I was too afraid to admit all of this because I thought I was wrong and was gonna lose the man that wants me. Thank you for giving me hope as well as motivation! 👍🏽
Matt. I’ve been following you for years. I used to watch your videos all the time. I’m in love now yet he is so insecure. He brings out a side to me I never knew I had. Love is wonderful and your advice is amazing, yet men have issues too and I wish they had a friend like you.
The interesting thing is, you rob him of the opportunity to do it for himself, turning into a mommy no mentally normal guy feels attraction towards! So live and LET LIVE!
I would say be kind and considerate BUT make yourself a priority first. Take care of yourself first and then do nice things for him if you can. Don't sacrifice for a man that you just met.
Can you do advice videos for single mothers? I just feel that when a woman has a child it changes the rules of the dating game and makes it that nore challenging.
Hey Sis, find a way to mention that you have a child, in the first convo or day. You & your child/children are a package deal. They can't have one without the other. Some may run, & although that doesn't feel good, Know that it filters the candidates that are not for you are your kids. Someone may really like you but 1)not be prepared to deal with the nuances that comes with dating someone with kids 2)being with a partner with children that are not his may not be part of what he wants for his life (nothing wrong with this, his goals are valuable to him). Sometimes hearing that the person you're interested in has kids may take you by suprise but if there is a mutual interest, budding and great chemistry there, you'd want to study the person & would become genuinely interested in the well-being of the person's kids. Gradually becoming emotionally invested in them as individuals instead of only the fact that they're your kids. Eg. E🌻 & N🎸 meet, discover a mutual attraction & chemistry. N mentions having a kid. Took E by suprise but N wasn't ashamed of or trying to hide his kid to draw E in (he doesn't know if that's a deal breaker with her or not). E wasn't expecting that but appreciates N was honest from early about such an important subject. He in fact earns a bit if her respect for being honest. E has never been in that situation before but decide to get to know him better. They develop a friendship & E learns about both N & his daughter. In fact, begins to study N & his daughter (through listening attentively & asking questions). Friendship, mutual attraction & chemistry deepens, grows into something more. E appreciates, respects & treats N & his kid as a Team. Respect, appreciation, admiration, & love develops on both sides. E becomes emotionally invested in N's daughter. N is extra careful not to jump the gun & introduce E too soon to his daughter. E understands & respects that timing is delicate & crucial, so she doesn't push him. When N reads his daughter & the timing, realizes they're ready, then introduces E to his daughter. Going in, E protects their peace of mind... and especially her own. Realizes that daughter may not even like her(because E is not her mom), but N loves her (E) & she (E) is willing to invest in a relationship with his daughter. How that works, depends on the adults. It's not easy & honestly, it's not for everyone. Trust your intuition, Momma. Let him earn a place in your life but don't treat him as though as long as he is willing to invest & whatever he is willing to invest is the cost of admission, so to speak. If he is still interested in you, as a person, when he is told you have kids, then appreciate him for it. This is just one perspective from someone who doesnt have kids but deeply values a person who was honest that he has a kid. It's not a deal breaker for everyone. Know your worth, Momma & be willing to walk away if dating a single mom is not what he wants for his life. He wasn't right for you & there is someone who is. Develop a friendship for a while to learn what he is really like beyond his words... you get to see his true attitudes & perspectives.
I so do those things you said.... I’ve been shielding for 4 months it’s knocked my confidence .... my revolution would be to stop over caring about people who don’t show care back.... But it’s a HUGE ask, like learning a whole new way to be?! 😳Thanks Matt have a fantabulous 4th of July 🤗
@Steve H Thank you so much for your support and I know your right, I think having being in a abusive relationship effects how you think of yourself and losing my Beautiful little boy impacted that greatly as grief does, thanks again 🤗 x
Wow recently I’ve had an Epiphany about needing to love myself first so I can set my standards and find a relationship I can actually be happy in. Then I see this video in my recommended 💕
I'm a hopeless romantic, I don't connect with many people. It has to be a deep connection beyond looks, or physical. The problem is, I see the good in people and overlook their issues, ignore the red flags, and because I'm a people pleaser, I need more boundaries! I need to stop accepting bad behavior because I see potential. Sometimes I feel like my mission in life is to love the unlovable. Ugg
I have made quantum leaps forward recently and want to continue in that realm of finding my Voice. Vulnerability, confidence, compassion. Just being me and having fun. I have a man. My story involves the death of my husband of 37 years, my grieving, and now this move forward into a new and expressively freer relationship. To me, I have learned over the years with my precious husband that what is most important is sexual intimacy and that is linked closely to personal intimacy. I am discovering, as in a journey, in my new relationship how to carry ME, who I am, authentically and vulnerably. A whole new world!!
I noticed while watching this video, I'm slowly transitioning between chasing to be chased. I'm starting to project who I am, but I still have times where I want to become somebody else to please certain men. Really thinking about it, I have noticed some men chasing me, and I'm letting go of men that I chased after. It's really quite the vulnerable moment. Although I have always wanted men to chase me, I sort of find it scary? Emotional growth - the most sought after yet scary development.
Thank you Mat for confirming my actions. I did all that you said. I am in a total bliss with this person at this moment; of course to early to predict but definitely I am at peace with the decision I made. Decision of choosing the man of my dreams
I met the love of my life on a dating site as well. I have met him once before lockdown. After that its all virtual. But this really helps us to know ourselves better into a deeper level. Strong bond was developed. When meeting friends with social distancjng allowed we dated but 2 meters away as well. But that makes us feel of chasing each other. I think the most important thing in a relationship or meeting someone on a date or in a site no pretensions. Just be yourself. Dont step into the level where you should do this so they will like you. Me i showed who really i am. Being you is you for them to accept no matter who we are.
Mat, I love your videos and I agree with your points here, however, there is another factor that you can't control. And that is the quality of men out there. I am a confident woman with high standards and moral values. I did steps 1-4 and I have been looking for years but finding a good quality man is not easy. Men have told me that they can tell that I am a good person with high standards. But many times they say that I intimidate them. Not in a mean way because I'm friendly to everyone, but they often think that I am way above their league so they don't even try. I find it frustrating. Self-respect and moral values should not be intimidating to a man. And I don't think a woman should lower her standards just to be with someone. 😞
Thinking you did everything right usually means you did something wrong. You sure you love yourself and feel feminine? To me this seems like you build perfect walls and image, but still did not heal some inner damage. You do not have to be perfect, do not get me wrong, just saying there are other factors you probably do not consider.
@@Jooney91 I am in no way perfect. And I don't expect perfection either. Self respect is self love. And yes, I do feel very feminine. I am not sure what other factors you are referring to? If I had inner damage wouldn't I be the one running away? I am open to getting to know men. Often, I think things are going well and then I am ghosted. With the ones that there is no chemistry, we remain good friends, where I feel comfortable asking them about the situation and that is what I hear over and over again. At first, they felt intimidated.
@Steve H I think you are right in the sense that many of the good quality men are married. And the fact that I live in a city where men outnumber woman probably doesn't help either. (They say 2:1 but I don't think it is that high.) My high standards are not materialistic. I don't care if he has a high paying job or a low paying one. I am self-sufficient. I don't need diamonds or perfume. I value time together where we can appreciate each other. I don't agree with your comment that I should lower my standards. My standards are not outrageous and I don't have a lot of them. My friends thought that I was really picky too, but when I told them what I was looking for, they were surprised and thought it was quite reasonable. They asked, "Is it really that hard to find men that have those qualities?" My response... "I can't find them." So Steve, maybe you could suggest to me in what vicinity I can find those single high quality men? Because I don't know where that is. 😕
If nothing changes... nothing changes!! OMG!! I love that so much!! I’ve been following you before you were married. You are always SPOT ON for insight! Had the opportunity to meet you in person at an event and will never forget your hug! One of the BEST hugs I’ve ever received. You are genuine and gifted in your wisdom and caring for people. I admire you and respect you as a person, man, husband and especially as a father! WOW! Wish the world had more men like you in it! Thanks, Mat for being such an inspiration and coach to so many! I’m a happier woman for who I am because of your influence! Happy 4th! Celebrate well!
He's speaking so much sense here. Don't be the version of you you think they'll like best, just be yourself. It explains so much about why I have spent so much of my life single. I wasn't being myself. It's a form of betrayal of yourself really, and only leads to poor self respect. Be you, be honest, be kind, be respectful. It's how to filter out the wrong'uns.
Every time I get rejected by a guy or waste my time on tinder I just feel it's me and then I do this, I try to change myself. If I lose weight it will be better, I think I'm talking too much, or they can sense my low esteem. I sit around lonely and bored and I don't do my painting, or play my celloe, I don't meet with friends as much, I don't sign up into the red cross and use my free time to be around people because my confidence is shot. I never considered just enjoying being myself, growing and being creative and just trusting that I'm good enough.
Great video. I did have a big "fed up" moment myself recently, and I can see how important what he says is. I did start trying to date all kinda different men and giving them more of a chance. I guess the other steps are still ahead though! I would love to date more and meet more quality men that could be into my kinda lifestyle. I am trying to give myself options and not do my usual mistake, to put everything on one man that i have a thing for.
I ended up hurt by a guy I was pursuing. I was told he was shy and was continuing this pursuit. I felt he liked me. I turned away guys who like me because I didn't want him to stop talking to me and he seemed jealous if I did spend time with others Kept waiting for the date. Never happened. Last time I saw him, he instead was pursuing a young attractive blonde. I put my life on hold. Should never had done.
I’d love to end the silence and no contact and be able to jump forth to the talking stage and hanging out going on little dates getting to know eachother again !
happy to find out I already have entered into the revolution! I had a developmental epiphany and realized I do not want to be in a relationship with those that are difficult to be with and have toxic behaviors. So I’ve reduced back my relating to family who treat me that way.
Hi, get anyone you love or (SP) attracted to you. And also get your EX back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Steve, he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words, I will advise you seek his help thanks.
I really appreciate all your videos! The help, the insight, the encouragement, it's incredibly assuring when I'm feeling lost or confused. Single or dating I'm trying to learn and open my heart, trusting that what's right for me will find me. Keep being amazing Mat!
I have a great relationship 3 years now because 1. I listened and followed yours and Adam Le Dolce's advies 2 I still listen follow your advices 3. I met an amazing man. Thank you 🥰🥰🥰
@@DG-on9dz we both don't want to get ofissialy married. We live together, we enjoy our relationship, we travel every week, we have respect for each other's ME time. But having a successful relationship takes work,efforts and understanding. 🥰🥰🥰 besides getting married doesn't mean HAPPILY EVER AFTER. It depends on you both how you will make your every day relationship. Regards 🥰🥰
Sir, I request you to share your love Story with your wife. How the two of you met? Your love journey? Struggles, temptation u face, how u manage to fight
Thanks Matt. I have a long-term on-off friend / boyfriend. Currently we are apart because of social distancing. We are very different and maybe not entirely suited but we do have quite a deep emotional bond. I I do believe he loves me in his own way and does not have another partner, but I don't think he wants to step up and be a proper boyfriend. He always talks about really intense serious subjects so that I can't easily change the conversation on to something as mundane as what I want from my relationship! When I do raise the subject he will give me an ambiguous reassurance and then get off back onto some subject to do with politics, economics or the arts.
Nice video. What you describe in step 2 and 4 I call "a good girl syndrome". I was so guilty of this and even after my revolution I sometimes forget and do that again. And again and again a reaction from universe is that things go wrong, everytime. We women are taught to be caring and sharing, but nobody tells you that you should do that on your own terms, and especially nurture yourself in a first place. Be your own source of love, wisdom and happiness, because otherwise you cannot care and share. Empty bowl cannot feed anyone. 😉
I’m so annoyed I just found you!!! I’m binge watching your videos your incredible and just helped me through a really messed up connection. Thank you so much you gained a follower 🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼
Well said!!! Soms voelt het alsof je je perspectief kwijtraakt.Maar als je dan wat beter kijkt,zie je dat zich juist op zulke momenten nieuwe mogelijkheden openbaren.Om te groeien heb je af en toe een periode van reflectie nodig,zodat je nieuwe kansen ziet die je anders nooit had opgemerkt of zelfs helemaal niet voor mogelijk had geacht.OP NAAR EEN NIEUW HOOFDSTUK.
Matthew you’re so inspiring. !Do you have this boyish sweetness about you. Very unique. Love for people. Thank you for your Encouraging videos that make impact in our lives
Thanks Matt for the awesome tips. Just realized I need to stop chasing the version of myself I want and BE that Confident high value woman that I am. My revolutionary is I want to create is to allow my man to chase and pursue me like he already does😄
Women take your power n position back. Men have to prove themselves not the other way around. If they dont want to step up let them go so the right man will know you are available. Dont give the wrong one not even a thought. Save your energies for yourself n for the right one. Meanwhile grow n learn things n have a blast because you do not need a man to define you they need you. 💕take it from a powerful, successful n beautiful woman. Matt thank you you gave me my confidence back n Im using it. Lol
I love this encouragement, Even though I already do this & have too many men chasing after me almost every where I go, & I'm not even that beautiful, well, I don't think I am.. my honey disagrees, though. & I never act on those other chasers.
Hooray for Meredith! What a fantastic example! Great advising for reminders that we forget over time. Isn't it amazing the level of low treatment we (men & women) are willing to put up with? My courageous action is to be single for a while & work on myself more! I'd love to end/stop the insane perceived need of ppl to be BUSY all the time so that they could truly enjoy & cherish their time together.
I’m dating a man that claims he doesn’t like to text. In the beginning he told me that he was getting off the dating app to focus on me. Everything was wonderful for at least 4 weeks, after that the pattern of him disappearing in Thursday and Fridays started to appear and he always has an excuse. He stated that when he goes out it is with his kids he goes incognito. Okay!! Remember he doesn’t text and the calls that we at least 2 a day dwindled. He would send dry text messages when he did, just to keep me there. I have decided that I’m walking away. We have spoken about this already and he hasn’t changed. I’m worthy and I deserve better. He is out there, I know it.😢
Mat, I loved your Revolutionary Plan! Have always enjoyed your videos and insight. I am also a big believer in listening to your gut. The gut is never wrong, and has protected me from harm. When dating, it is critical to listen! I hope all enjoy the day! ☺️
I used to be that girl who wanted to be the girl every man would want. Then I had a real bad experience and stopped looking. I decided what kind of guy I really want. And after some time, I found a perfect guy. Ofcourse, I'm still learning and improving, but not at the cost of my self respect, my self esteem
Hey Matt my name is Kayla and I really love your videos and I was wondering if you could do a series of videos on how to manifest your man? Thank you🙏 Kayla
Wow, I’ve heard this concept before, but the way you said it awakened some parts that I didn’t realize have needed love and attention. Maybe my guy will rise up to love those essential areas or maybe another man will be manifested... i feel grateful for your time love and energy in researching and sharing such important keys to love in ways that are easier to hear 🙏😍
I have changed my mind set of who I am and not who I should be for others. I've completely started loving me and not getting worried about how he feels. It says. It has been 3 weeks and I have not wanted to argue or worry. Since I've pulled back my energy from that guy, he seems more interested in me now that I'm being the woman I used to be. Myself. Since this time there are very few disagreements between an us. I always respond with easy messages. He seems to be more open to this and now texts me more often.
this is sooooo true. I didn't articulate it that way originally however I do see that the more I let my cup run it over and invest in myself, put time in for myself the more I attract high-quality men. I've been on four dates with a very handsome Asian man who owns several businesses. Another guy took me on a mini shopping spree. an old flame and I cross paths and wants to take me shopping as well. I went to a bar and ordered some tacos one late lunch and a random guy paid for my meal after chatting for bit. I also had another old flame send me flowers to my job, randomly!
Hey Matt, will you make a video on how to get past the hurt of being betrayed in an 18-year marriage. I’m pretty sure that the ‘me’ I am today is not attracting men, because they must feel my hesitancy at being hurt like that again. I feel they would like the innocent, pre-hurt “me”... but sense my hesitancy (even just on a singles site) and look; but rarely send a message. Going through the pain had its benefits... helped me to mature. So, I don’t want to lose That, just the trauma of the pain I went through.
My love interest a kind man who happens to be a Dr. He's learning if he needs to Chase. I do not call, I do not text, I do absolutely that's pretty powerful I'm not waiting I'm living my life doing what I like to do. We'll see what happens
I feel really blessed that I I subscribed your channel uncle.......................... love from India 😍😍😍😍 thanku so much ur making me more better day by day
Kudos Matt. This is already happening and he's pulled back and I don't know what will happen. But I am meeting a lot of. Others along the way and new wonderful men showing up as I see my value more the matching is better
