@@lindziep6319Be clear only dating for marriage, delay sex, only be exclusive if he's clear in his destination with you. Be observant if the time phase of life points to marriage is he looking for a wife. Sorry all that to say let him know my dating portfolio is diverse of serious suirors not closing door options till get serious offer of engagement.
Humility. I’m not sure that there’s anything more vital to a relationship, than the humility to see the other person’s needs as equally important, and to be willing to listen and understand and work through things.
Nothing. You can be the most perfect woman. If hes not in that place in his life to go for a good catch like youre, nothing will make him committ. And vice versa, you can be an average woman and he will commit bc hes ready.
All the same things make me want to commit. Feeling appreciated and loved, and wanted. Feeling safe, seen, cared for. And being able to go from banter to quiet to deep, philosophical conversation with ease and flow and ultimately having a shared vision of the future.
you asked what needs to be in place: 1. chemistry - without it it's a no go 2. excitement - chemistry is nice when we are together - but is he excited to see me? does he miss me? does he MAKE me wait until he answers my messages? 3. respect for me and EVERYONE else 4. flexibility and ability to compromise and change your ways/habits a bit if partner finds them triggering 5. wanting to be exclusively with me after a couple of dates
After 4 months Acceptance is when he told me he loved me. Yes, propping each other up. My man very intune. I felt very protected after he took a situation that happened to me and got on it to find the cause without me asking for help. I told him how I appreciated him and he made me feel protected. He is emotional available. Age doesn't matter either he is 15yrs younger.
Divorce, unhappiness, and "separation" is too high. Instead, Get to know yourself, Be yourself, Enjoy life, Take care of yourself, Be ambitious and contented, Better yourself overall (eat good, live good, dress good, fit good, learn good, heal and release good, happy goodl. When someone with good fit comes, you move forward together with that person.
What has helped me commit is compatibility. If my what i call quirks, fit with his. For example, i loved the feel of his hair through my hands. He absolutely loved when i did it at night before we went to sleep. It would relax him enough to be able to drift off to sleep and help him have a deeper sleep. But it works both ways. He would make me laugh like no one else has, just by being his goofy self, to the point i would cry from laughing so hard. In my opinion, a couple should be compatible and able to weave their lives together.
Ever see the movie Rocky? That one scene where Adrian's brother asks Rocky what he sees in her. I love Rocky's answer: "I don't know. I got gaps. She's got gaps. We fill each other's gaps." That's what you want, 2 people that fill each other's gaps.
I married a man and later divorced. I mistakenly assumed he knew how to fix things. I grew up in a family where the men were handy. I learned that I need a man who is handy. It’s a huge turn on for me and a major dealbreaker for me. He could have all the money in the world to hire someone to do the work. I lived that life and it bothered me. There is something about a man who can fix, build, provide and protect that does it for me.
@@Blinkeebill not necessarily... That is what makes a man attractive to her... We all have preferences, points of attraction... At least she's not a gold digger where you could say what is she looking to get out of it. And yes, it makes a man attractive when he's able and capable. For instance a guy who'd rather sit on the couch spending hours watching TV is a complete turn off for me!...
If it were that simple there wouldn't be single females. Timing has everything to do with it. As well as other external factors, beyond just being feminine and confident.
I need to feel like he's into me, he's excited about me . That I'm not just another option but a priority... not just one of many but the only one that he's into enough to spend his life with.
Your wife has great parents and a great example of a loving relationship. You learn from your parents, intentionally or unintentionally. Appreciate you and your insight
I fell in love with a man that at first seeing him I said No way was I even remotely attracted to him. After talking with him for a year then I was so attracted to him. That I couldn’t get enough of him.
Sophistication.. meaning that there's plenty of maturity, appreciation, gratitude & humility. Its good to look for a type of person who's well rounded.
Matt, I appreciate you so much! I love the way you talk to your audience. It feels like you truly care about people and the work you do. This video is amazing. Thanks so much for sharing.
I remember the original time you told this story when you were single and it warms my heart your children and you celebrate your wife like you saw that lady celebrate her husband coming home.
Spiritual chemistry ( watching sunset together hugging each other telling him to hold u tight and ask him to memorise the moment by hugging feeling the touch feeling air .... ❤
Boy, you really give the best advice. I wish I could have heard these positive kind of tools to uplift a relationship years ago, but given the opportunity I won’t forget. You’re family sounds amazing! Thank you for sharing your personal stories, they’re inspirational.🙏🏻
I love this! Thank you . I am Colombian and I watched my Mom always treating my dad like a King . He was always appreciated and celebrated . It is so true all what you said. Love it Blessings 🙋🏻♀️
Trust for me is the #1 critical aspect of a relationship that makes me want to commit. If someone keeps breaking promises and doesn’t respect the agreed boundaries - time to go
I love hearing this part of your life now, your family. I've been following you for years and did not know you had blossom to such a beautiful family. Congratulations!
i said it before imma say it again - your wife always knows what is the right thing to say in any scenario and would love for her to have her own channel or section where she'd be giving us tips too pleasee
Great Insights: 1. Chemistry(spiritual chemistry). 2. Connection. 3. Capable (amplify his masculinity). 4. Celebration (celebrate him and each other). 5. Clarity (readiness to commit and creating urgency).
This was so good and thanks for sharing that personal experience. There is no better way to show acceptance is loving one another as is and allowing one another to contribute the best of themselves.
Someone who can support my career (travel with me, be in photos at events, stay at the book table while I’m at the washroom 😂), someone who has room in his life to make my career a priority and doesn’t mind doing so. But also has his own goals so he has something to do while I’m writing for months
When I can feel his love and care for me while also challenging me to be a better person for myself. ❤ Thanks Mat and Irene for being model couples and shifting a key paradigm! 🙏🏽✨
1. Chemistry. Biology. Spiritual. 30 sec hugs. Memorize the moment. Hearing, feeling, smelling, touch, taste(kiss). 2. Connection. Acceptance. 3. Capable. Men want to measure up. 4. Celebration. Celebrate and acknowledge each other. 5. Clarity. It's not more time, it's more depth. Create urgency. What needs to be in place for me, is all of the above, plus honesty, loyalty and integrity. He must make his intentions clear! And he must be a good communicator. 6+ yrs in from first date, committed, not living together, in our 60's. Nothing being said about or action of progression. We did talk about our future a couple years ago, about spending our lives together, but nothing sense. It's like he has this list, in his mind, where he needs to be, before he feels he's worthy, or ready. I've done all these things above. On the regular. I don't feel he celebrates me. Certainly not even close to equally, if at all. I could handle that if I had a commitment of 'I want to marry you'. And maybe some concrete plans. We're not getting any younger. And I want to spend more time with him. We have a great time together. But he's a workaholic. And I don't feel very high on his priority list. I can't communicate my wants and needs well. Apparently. He does take care of me. He's a good man. Even though he's not here enough for me.
It really painful and heartbreaking 😢 you are not alone. Some parents made a bigger mistake bringing their kids up not in a good way and they can’t express feelings for others
He just doesn't make me feel chosen! He makes me feel like I'm the one who got away!!! I wish I had seen this video instead of telling my friends my thoughts and feelings about the relationship. They really only helped me vent, but their feedback made me feel I didn't have a relationship at all. When his mom asked why I hadn't married him; I was shocked, felt it was too good to be true and then she said we shouldn't marry because something silly. He never has gone out and asked me to marry him. He's also made me think he wants many women!
Matt, thank you so much for this video 😊 I would commit with a guy whom I can imagine of being a good grand father for our grandchildren... Warm in relationship, open, easy to communicate with, appreciating me as a part of our common life 💗
I wish I knew. I am 46 years old and never been in a serious relationship before. But I learned key things from the video. What resonated is the need for clarity and setting a time in terms of how longs I going to wait for him to get is up to me the woman
Hi Matt! I love the sunset hug idea, but taking it further and asking, what do you feel what do you hear, Etc feels too Forced and too manipulative. I don't think a man would respond well to being prompted like that... in a tender spontaneous moment. I also really loved the idea of the family celebration and cheering.Hey!
The train thats leaving is spot on what to do with your life. And really, do you want that specific man to be your traveling partner? Think more than twice before you even ask him to jump on.
Ok I have to say your videos really help and make me think. So I thank you for the support of us women. And thank you for helping us understand our relationships with guys.
He hasn't painted his happy place with me. I haven't painted my happy place with him. Thus, we have hurt each other's feelings over and over again, without knowing. Later on, the memories give just clues on what could have hurt. Chemistry and connection, but capabilities??? Maybe that's where things start getting uncomfortable. I don't know why I'm more careful with strangers and friends, but not with the man I want to marry 🤔.
I loved your video! This was awesome and I love all the examples you gave and why it’s important. Your tips were very helpful and I will be mindful of this while dating. Dating at 40 is a challenge and I’m trying to properly vet men better. I’m ready for my husband🙌🏽❤️🙏🏽😁!!! Thank you 🙏🏽
You are the most honest, psychologically minded, practical and genuine trainer I have watched so far. Thank you for your good. Appreciation from Hong Kong. I am a psychologist myself. Thanks.
I love this video so much. I will watch it many times to let it soak in because it's packed with life lessons in there. For me to commit to a man as a woman..... I'll need to think on this question. I feel like it's a very important question to get clarity around this to be empowered.
The Dirty Secret: With most long term committed couples, still in love after many years, the man knew the first time he met the woman. If he’s telling you he’s unsure, it’s code for he’s not sure he can do better.
13:25 this brought tears to my eyes how so very special ✨ I can’t wait to do this my future husband ❤ Thank you for sharing this private tradition of yours.
This episode I found the best from you. During the first videos by you I was doubtful... Today though I am more free from my former partner, the narcissist. The man I am thinking of again since a while told me some month ago he didn't want me to call or write to him. I have been so stupid.
This video provides an insightful look into what men need to commit to a relationship. It offers an interesting list of five Cs that can help a man feel ready to commit. Great watch for anyone in a relationship!
I probably made him feel incapable that he's not meeting the mark. My standards were too unrealistic. Instead of giving me more contact, he probably avoided contact because it made him feel hurt to not have the mindset I wanted him to have.
What helps me commit is the actual request. Direct request for commitment. The chemistry and the connection is there, but without the request, it's a big tease from an immature boy.
I love this video, really sweet. I put it on my "better me list"👍💗 You look so happy and confident, its really inspiring. Definitely will try it out with my husband 😊
About mix signals. It confused me! At first, I had an awesome chemistry. But later he changed, he started lying, he started being fake. Then he was being rude, gaslight me, he started to yell at me. He became negative! The truth is that is who he was Honestly, I wasn't ready for a relationship at that time. I was broken from a bad divorce. Then I figured it out that it had to do with money. It was not just him. It was my family too. So I cut all them of. I went solo and now I am happy. I do have the support of my church members and God and that is all I care.
I'm already looking at getting on the relationship and I tell him this I need time with you and he doesn't the top five reasons why you might want to get out of the relationship he does every one of them
Can I ask you with a question? I'm meeting this man for 4 weeks already. We live in different islands, 80km one of the other (Tenerife/Gran Canaria). In those 4 weeks he found a time after circling for the first long date, then I passed 3 days on his island, then he passed a weekend with me on Tenerife, today we've met an hour, before his ferry, cos he insisted me to come to the port (if i wouldn't, it wouldn't be possible...my work, and his work schedule). And then he asked if we gonna see each other on Los Reyes (January 6/7th, festive day in Spain). But......he is soooooo slow, so I dunno, like without blood in his veins... And when we are together, he touches my knee, my waist, he kisses my neck...signs that he's into it. But later on, hd sends messages with no emotions showed, or like we were only colleagues... Btw when we're together in private, we have great sex, with lots of kisses, tenderness, caring etc What should I think? Sometimes I feel him sooo.... dunno, slow? Is it the word??
