AITA for ignoring our daughter’s inconvenient boundary?

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Story: AITA for ignoring our daughter’s inconvenient boundary?
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16 май 2024

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Комментарии : 35

@mannydcbianco Месяц назад

Daughter is 100% in the wrong. While she has the right to set boundaries regarding who touches her clothes, her family has the right to set their own boundaries regarding how and when their laundry room is used. The daughter seems to think that only _her_ boundaries matter, which is incredibly selfish and immature.

@zoe9190 Месяц назад

At college in communal laundry, if your clothes are unattended, and taking up space for others in any way to use the laundry, they will be moved. There would be signs stating so. Its also your house, and your rules, she either follows them or she figures out somewhere else to do her washing. Dont give her power

@FreddyBoi32 Месяц назад

not touching clothes is reasonable but using the facilities then leaving for work and basically preventing others from using it is not reasonable. The daughter needs to get over herself as it's a shared space.

@Kloburste88 Месяц назад

B.B. King said it best, "As long as I'm payin' the bills I'm payin' the cost to be the boss"

@SnerMerNer Месяц назад

Miss that man

@Kofi_Mensahs_BurnerAccount Месяц назад

In the house I grew up, if I had that attitude at 19, I would’ve been told to F off out of the house.

@theresakerins4563 Месяц назад

It sounds like something happened with her things at school.

@Catherine.Dorian. Месяц назад

But still has nothing to do with at home and she can’t hog these facilities

@vaxel0068 Месяц назад

Who cares.

@NM-ub6ml Месяц назад

Yeah but she needs to talk to someone if she thinks it is reasonable to project that onto her family.

@daniellemitchell3118 Месяц назад

That's what I was thinking, too.

@beckyhicks385 Месяц назад

OP & his wife should sit her down & tell her either she does her laundry on non work days,when she's going to be home all day or they are will take her clothes off the line & put them in her room.

@dude2215 Месяц назад

tell her to get her own drying rack or to work with you with some rules. It's OP's house and your washing facilities.

@lisabiased7112 Месяц назад

she needs to move out if she has a problem with somebody touching her clothes

@TrueLiesLost Месяц назад

I feel like not wanting someone else touching your clothes is normal for an adult but sharing that space means you need to also respect that others also need to use the laundry room and to make sure your stuff gets moved out of the way in a timely manner.

@user-lm3pe2mj3w Месяц назад

Your money, your paid bills, your washing machine. Put your foot down

@lydiakelly6863 Месяц назад

If i leave my clothes in the dryer, my mom dumps them on my bed. It's not my mom's responsibility to do my clothes but there's nothing about my clothes that would be bad to see. They're clothes. They are meant to get damaged and worn out. Boohoo, grow up. If she's concerned for privacy reasons, I reiterate. They're clothes. You're not washing your cornhub search history or BDSM gear. People need to stop being materialistic. It ruins relationships.

@ronaldtipton6035 Месяц назад

I'm assuming you & your wife are at least partially paying for her college education. And at least helping with her other expenses. That gives you to ability to enforce your rules in your house, although using it can come across as harsh. Just keep doing what you're already doing until she finally gets it and changes her methods to better fit in with the whole family's needs. This isn't about her - it's about all of you living in the house.

@viktoriak4332 Месяц назад

Even is theyre just roommate no one has the right to hog the laundy set up, and of cloths habe to get moved then its on the person who left them unattended.

@NM-ub6ml Месяц назад

I wouldn't use stuff like that as a weapon. It's going to damage other things and they seem to have a good relationship other than this.. The parents are correct in just focusing on the issue involved not widening it.

@daveo1808 Месяц назад

Daughter messed up when she went against two women, should have argued with her father instead

@BaeBunni Месяц назад

Daughter is in the wrong but I get the suspicion she specifically doesn't want Op to touch her clothing. This is 100% speculation but seems reasonable that at 19 and at college she has probably had people tell her that her stepdad could be allowed to be a creep now and since he isn't related to her might want to do something with her. Also doesn't help this is a kink reinforced on places like cornhub. Edit: Sorry misheard the gender but still the same deal even as a stepmom the daughter could be told that Op might be a creep since they aren't related.

@gaetanganlata7052 Месяц назад

Her stepmother, you mean.

@AfroMan3696 Месяц назад

Lesbian couple

@claytonthomas1980 26 дней назад

The stepdaughter may have boundaries but that goes double for the family as well and by right they've the responsibility to use the laundry room as she does and that's to be respected down the line, problem solved right there.

@lynnejamieson2063 Месяц назад

I don’t necessarily think that it was needed to either ban her from using the laundry facilities at home or to buy a lock for the laundry room door…even if her attitude was poor. Just get her a clothes aider/horse for her use only. On a nice day she can set it up outside and come rain or shine, no-one else will touch it and in poor weather she can set it up in her bedroom out of everyone else’s way. Because it seems that the issue lies with the drying more than the washing. Don’t get me wrong, her attitude definitely needs some adjustment (which may occur in part from her washing getting soaked in unexpected downpours or when she gets home from work or from seeing friends late at night/early hours of the morning and she has to bring it in and fold it) but she has also spent some time away from home and having to deal with sharing laundry facilities with people that she neither knows nor trusts and is likely, in a clumsy teenage fashion, trying to prove that she’s an independent adult especially when staying back at home.

@katrose5179 29 дней назад

Or alternatively, SHE can buy that for herself.

@lynnejamieson2063 29 дней назад

@@katrose5179 definitely. I was more just thinking that the money they were spending on a lock that was only going to be used on a temporary basis, could instead be utilised for something that could be for the daughter’s use whilst she’s at home but that might also be beneficial to them when she’s away at Uni. But of course the suggestion could be put forward that she buy one herself.

@momo56567 23 дня назад

Honestly, YTA. The need for other people in the home to use the washing machine is something you should have brought up when she talked to you about her boundaries with other people touching her clothes. She's 19, she's not always going to understand how her actions affect other people. If you had shared your concerns at the time, you could have compromised or worked out a schedule, and she would have seen you as someone who was willing to listen to her concerns and take her seriously. By waiting until she's at work to move her clothing, you're teaching her that you will ignore her boundaries if they are inconvenient for her. This whole mess could have been avoided if you had talked to her in the first place.