Could You Be Asexual? An Overview of One of the Rarest Orientations

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About 1% of the population is asexual (that we know of) but how do you know if that's you? How do you figure out if you're experiencing an ABSENCE of sexual attraction, when that's all you've ever known? Asexuality is a spectrum, and there isn't a lot of good education about it, although thankfully that's changing. Here's my (hopefully helpful) contribution to the conversation.
💜🤍🩶🖤RESOURCES💜🤍🩶🖤
The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN): www.asexuality.org/
Asexual Awareness Week: aceweek.org/
Asexuality 101: www.thetrevorproject.org/wp-c...
The Invisible Orientation: time.com/2889469/asexual-orie...
The Canadian Centre for Gender & Sexual Diversity (they're inclusive of asexuality): ccgsd-ccdgs.org/
Asexual Info Booklet: www.equality-network.org/wp-c...
💜🤍🩶🖤VIDEOS💜🤍🩶🖤
"Embrace" Animated short : • Embrace | An Asexualit... @teshamerkel
"Barbie Is Asexual (and why that matters)": • Barbie is Asexual (and... @talistheintrovert
"The Rise of Asexual Representation": • The Rise of Asexual Re... @HeyRowanEllis
"The Science of Asexuality" • The Science of Asexual... @tabooscience
"Why Asexual Advocate Yasmin Benoit Got SO Much Twitter Hate" : • Why Asexual Activist Y... @lynnsaga1397
"Asexuals and Sex": • Asexuals and Sex @DavidJBradley
"Confronting Aphobia": • Dealing with Aphobia a... @AceDadAdvice
"Ask Ace Dad: Why Does Coming Out as Asexual Matter?" : • ASK ACE DAD: Why does ... @AceDadAdvice
"Bread Is Better Than People":
• bread is better than p... @TheQueerKiwi
💜🤍🩶🖤ARTICLES💜🤍🩶🖤
"Asexual Rights" - www.aasect.org/asexual-rights
"7 Things You Might Not Know About Conversion Therapy" -
www.stonewall.org.uk/about-us...
"I Think I Might Be Asexual" - advocatesforyouth.org/wp-cont...
"Asexuality is the Queerest Thing" - www.stonewall.org.uk/about-us...
"Questionably Queer: Asexuality in the LGBTQ Community" - westerngazette.ca/features/qu...
"The A in LGBTQIA is for Ace, Not Ally" - galop.org.uk/resource/the-a-i...
"Autism Helped Me Embrace Being Asexual" - xtramagazine.com/health/autis...
"My Girlfriend is Asexual and I'm Not: Here's What That Means for Us" - www.vice.com/en/article/pkaee...
"Asexuality and Aromanticism Are Queer. Here's Why" - cosy.land/article/asexuality-...
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Опубликовано:

25 сен 2023

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Комментарии : 303

@cattheveganartist 10 месяцев назад

It’s very important to make clear that Asexuality is NOT a “lack of attraction”; it’s a “lack of SEXUAL attraction”. As an asexual myself I feel many kinds of attraction to others, just never sexual attraction.

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

Yess thank you for re-stating this! Lots of people have trouble wrapping their heads around that, and I feel like it's one of the most important things about being ace that needs to be talked about.

@JimMork 9 месяцев назад

I enjoy being ACE. Don't like parenthood. Family of 10, I wish to go the opposite direction.

@SingingSealRiana 9 месяцев назад

Yeah, it can be combined with a lack of other attractions, just as it can be combined with a lack of sex, arousal and libido, but it is a misconception, that all of those do and have to be linked...... Sensual and aesthetic attractions exist, and each of the other things can arise compleatly on their own or in any combination..... Very low or rare sexuall attraction still falls under the umbrella of ace, and while some are, not every ace is sex repulsed ..... So many many shades of ace ^^

@captainsawbones 8 месяцев назад

Yeah, I'm asexual but NOT aromantic, and I've had people say really cruel things to me like I'm not capable Of romantic love or that I'm selfish for hoping for a sexless marriage. Also people telling me that I'm not actually human , that I'm broken, or that romantic love can't exist without sex. Wild stuff.

@meghansandor 8 месяцев назад

@@captainsawbones I'm sorry you've had such terrible experiences. People can be really shitty sometimes when they're confronted with things they don't understand ❤

@AndyyWithAY Месяц назад

Demi, but this explains so much. I have a very high libido, but never in regard to any person unless there are strong feelings towards them. I find people aesthetically pleasing but it's like looking at a work of art. There's no desire to do anything sexual with them

@Awesome_sly12 8 дней назад

Same! Its hard to explain to others and hard to even understand myself sometimes.

@LPSSYLVEONstudios 8 месяцев назад

the aroace to artist pipeline is definitely a real thing!! I started an aroace group on my college campus and almost everyone is an artist or a creative in some way (and also I noticed a high percentage of us watch video essays? I’ve never had so many people know what I’m talking about when I randomly brought one up lol). My theory is that to most allo people sex and romance is basically a hobby.

@meghansandor 8 месяцев назад

Holy shit!! I've never thought of it that way before, but it totally makes sense. I know a LOT of allo people who are very preoccupied with sex in the same way that sewing occupies almost all of my waking thoughts. I guess not having that drive, we channel all that energy elsewhere?

@AriSturgess 3 месяца назад

Ahah wow, it makes me think about me 😅 I am new to this and trying to grasp it in a way. I do feel sexual attraction but my libido is really low. Like it rarely comes to me to bring myself that kind of pleasure, as if I didn’t need it? It’s just not that important to me once in a relationship, it’s great for connection and it’s binding for me but I am ok doing it rarely… I don’t know if it makes sense to you in ace kind of way? For such a long time I felt so broken because I just don’t need to climax or need that kind of connection. I do have platonic crushes constantly and I don’t feel much difference between a friend or a lover because I demand a certain kind of engagement from all the people in my life. I suppose sex could be there and it can be sensual but not necessarily sexual, does it make any sense? I shaved my head a couple of years ago and I realised thzt for half a year I didn’t feel a sexual being anymore because I didn’t feel pretty without hair. And it was crazy realising how my sexual drive or wanting for sex depended so much on the perception I thought that men and women could have about me, that it had nothing about sth that I naturally felt inside but that it was depended on an external gaze, be wanted and desired? So if I am not feeling I am considered sexy, I have no sex drive and need to initiate? I dunno, I find it wild, it’s as if it had really nothing to do with me but it was just a tool to get sth else…

@israellai Месяц назад

lmaooooo and I'm a composer

@pencilsharpenerwithgooglye7382 29 дней назад

Hey, who's got the ace dragon obsession

@ArcaneNemesis 6 дней назад

Maybe neurodivergence is one reason - a lot of neurodivergent people are quite creative and have a good chance of being Ace/Aro or being part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I'm Autistic who's also Ace + Demiromantic and very creative.

@silva7493 8 месяцев назад

This is the first information on asexuality I've looked at. In a week I'll be 68, and for most of that time I thought something was wrong with me, and I suppose something could be wrong. My introduction to sex was in the dirt with a hideously unattractive, scary looking stranger with a knife at my neck, when I'd just turned 13. I suffered with PTSD in the form of flashbacks every 15 minutes for a good many years. The interval in between got slightly longer bit by bit till one day when I was 46, and I realized I'd gone the whole day before without it popping up in my head. But for whatever reason, I'm asexual. It was pretty recent when it occurred to me that I'm asexual, but I still hadn't heard it was an actual thing and I wasn't the only one. Your video was packed with good information, and I feel like I just saved a lot of time by not having to pick through a lot of not very helpful stuff to find a couple of answers. Thank you. I am going to watch it again though. That was a lot of info. BTW, I paint pictures. Maybe I'm another one with that connection. Although I realized some time ago that most of us are artists and creators, we all just haven't found that out yet.

@meghansandor 8 месяцев назад

I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I hope you were able to find a good support system to help you deal with and process the aftermath of all that. It's horrible how a few minutes of violence can cause years and years of pain and trauma, but glad to hear that this was helpful for you!

@WolkeYume 10 месяцев назад

I've never been in a relationship or had s3x because I kind of thought okay one day I will find someone that appeals to me but it just never did and I was always confused with why people are SO obsessed with boning when there are so many other things you could be spending your time with?! I only realized I'm ace in the last couple years. And I'm also very creative, I have so many hobbies and so many more I'd like to start. Maybe because our brains are not full of wanting to chase other people? All people that I followed online that turned out to be ace are some kind of creative (the reason I followed them in them first place), so this seems to be a thing!

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

I bet that has something to do with it for sure, when you're not thinking about sex all the time, there's a lot more space in your brain for other things!

@SingingSealRiana 9 месяцев назад

Think the causality goes the other way ^^ I so did not get it either.... 😅

@cradica Месяц назад

Same

@TankInATree 8 месяцев назад

One thing I want to put out there, is also that many of us (maybe far the most of us) don't consider people to be perverts or anything of the sort. There can be a misunderstanding that we consider others "disgusting" or "perverted" for sex having such a relatively big focus in their life. That is not the case. In fact, I get kind of an outside view and I understand many of the underlying feelings/attractions going on, because I have been pretending and analyzing how to behave for so long, just to learn how to fit in. It gives us a unique perspective on most fetishes that is otherwise considered "perverted" or bad in society. Now mind you, that is not to say that we can't detect or see those *actually* dangerous tastes or fetishes which hurts other people... those are not the ones I am talking about. I am talking about someone I know very well and how I wouldn't bat an eye if it was somehow revealed that they were into swinging, bdsm, roleplaying, or even much more hardcore consensual things. The people who are like me that I have spoken to, are not shy about these things and they would probably be the first to accept pretty much anything without anything but genuine interest in the lifestyle and how it is perceived.

@ariadne0w1 10 месяцев назад

Great video! It has got to be way higher than 1%, just anecdotally based off my friend groups even factoring in "birds of a feather flock together" since a lot of us came out after becoming friends. Around half of us are ace and a good portion are aro as well. I think education that it is an option at all, and what it specifically is and isn't, is key - so thanks for doing that work!

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

Thank you! I think it's higher than 1% too, I bet there are tons of us out there in the wild who just don't have the words yet to describe what they're experiencing. Definitely agree that this is why education is important, because it clears up so much!

@SingingSealRiana 9 месяцев назад

Agree, especially given how many people do not even know just what actually falls under the umbrella of ace so tons of people are living an ace experience without being aware, that it is one!

@hello_ree 8 месяцев назад

@NotVille_ Why would you be proud of maps we have GPS now

@DemLep 9 месяцев назад

Wait are people not thinking about the Plague of Justinian? First I find out everyone else is thinking about sex, now you tell me they're not thinking of Roman Empire. What next?

@jpatrick113 9 месяцев назад

This video feels very affirming and I'm incredibly happy i stumbled upon it. Thank you for making it!

@nk3054 8 месяцев назад

For me, the spectrum aspect is pretty important. I think I have little to no motivation for sexual encounters but I can enjoy them with a partner who I like. However, I will still always need my partner. to "remind" me to have sex because I forget about that element of our relationship. I think even those people who I considered "romantic" partners in my past might be more of platonic relationships but sex was projected onto me. I always thought I was a homosexual man, then started calling myself homo-romantic as I was in relationships with other queer men only. I'm starting to think I might be asexual. Thank you for your video, wishing you only the best.

@meghansandor 8 месяцев назад

You can definitely enjoy sex with certain people and still be ace! I think a lot of allosexual people also primarily enjoy sex for the aspect of emotional intimacy and just don't realize that that's why they enjoy it. I think as asexual people we're more aware of that, because when you're not actually attracted to anyone, you need deeper motivation to be able to have sex.

@dream_walker9726 17 дней назад

I think i prefer the emotional aspect and the fact that i can provide happiness and satisfaction for someone i love:)

@dawntripp1974 10 месяцев назад

I was pleasantly surprised when your video came up in my feed! It is SO important that there are out aces explaining asexuality on social media. I am so glad you explained the difference between sexual attraction and libido. That is one of the biggest reason I didn’t know I was Ace until I was 47 years old! I thought I couldn’t be asexual because I have a libido. Also the split attraction model is SO helpful!! I am sure you are helping many people figure things out!

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for this comment! It's encouraging because this is exactly why I made this video, to help other Aces figure things out but also to help them explain their sexuality to others if they feel the need to. There's so much misinformation about asexuality out there, and it can get pretty complicated.

@SingingSealRiana 9 месяцев назад

That's the reason why I am adamant, that the procentage has to be way way higher, most people plain do not know what plethora or different experiences falls under the umbrella or ace, of that it is an umbrella therm in generell!!! I have an extreamly sex positive bff who would never have considered herself to be ace on her own, but when I talked about some of the many many many variations we found, that she does very much fall into the spectrum, just a very different place, then I do ^^ Very happy, that you found your place and that it helped you! ^^

@cradica 2 месяца назад

Same here, I just realized I am ace because of this video. I'm 21

@taosit5282 10 месяцев назад

I just learned about asexuality this week, at 22 years old. It's hard to notice the absence of sexual attraction when you don't really know what it is and have no interest in knowing it. I didn't have any attraction of any sort until earlier this year when I had an online crush. It was entirely spiritual and emotional. Unfortunately it wasn't mutual. Perhaps it's better that way, since I would totally have panicked if my crush ever wanted to go further than just words. My friends can't believe there was something more than friendship, but I have no doubt because I was thinking about him all day. Now I'm starting my first ever mutual relationship. Though I initiated the conversation about getting into a relationship, he was the one starting all physical contact (so far only holding hands and hugging) with my permission. He has been very respectful and we've been taking it slowly. So far I'm feeling pretty confident. I'm still exploring myself. A few weeks ago, I would have labelled myself aromantic if I was shown the categories, but now I'm starting to think I may experience romatic feelings. Sex is a hard no, though. I can't see myself do it even when I'm enjoying the hugging. You video is very informative. Thank you for all the effort you put in!

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

I'm sorry your feelings weren't reciprocated. That's a really painful thing to deal with, but it sounds like you have a very supportive and loving partner now! Negotiating boundaries when you're ace is always tricky, but having a respectful and supportive partner helps a lot :)

@ClaLu 8 месяцев назад

I'm autistic and asexual...It makes it a bit more confusing because of the sensory aspects of autism. Makes the platonic situations more sensory fixed and feels like sexual attraction but, it isn't because it doesn't "activate" that engine that gets the bodies together i guess. So for example once i felt attracted to the smell of a dance partner in a class and it was totally platonic, my first kiss was after dancing sensually with a very sexual driven men and the experience was very underwhelming and didn't get better in my other 4 attempts. I've discovered my neurodivergency and sexual orientation at 39 years old, after cutting ties with my highly probably narcissistic siblings. I'm also very visually stimulated and has meant that i have a not shared erotic life...Very mild do 😊❤

@cradica 2 месяца назад

I'm autistic as well and I can relate, like I can't quite pin point my sexuality. It's either asexual or gray ace. I have a hard time telling apart libido and sexual attraction.

@kaylee8451 5 месяцев назад

I’m a STEM ace!! I love chemistry, biology, and math!! It’s so easy to lose myself in all the wonderful facts and stats of science!! ❤ we’re here too 🎉🎉

@meghansandor 5 месяцев назад

Love that!! So good to hear from the STEM folk :)

@Chrisbackgroovey 10 месяцев назад

I never knew any of this information and was blown away by how much their is to learn about Asexuality. So much work went into this Megan, so I hope the algorithm of this interest pops up so it can answer questions for people who need answers and settle some hearts who have been searching all their life. Also you mentioned you upcycle cloths to create others, so I hope you got to the Toronto Vintage Clothing Show last weekend. Keep up the wonderful work and thank you.

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

Thank you so much! I hope so too, I really want to raise awareness about asexuality as an orientation because not a lot of people know about it!

@alissagilbert6149 Месяц назад

I am a 35 year old biromantic ace from Ontario, Canada, who enjoys singing, writing, and wearing ultra feminine fashion pieces! 🥰 I love your informative and thought-provoking content as well as your gorgeous hand-sewn dresses! 😄

@meghansandor Месяц назад

Hello there! We’re neighbours, I also live in Ontario!

@Neko123Uchiha 9 месяцев назад

Great video, very comprehensive about the topic! I found out I'm aroace around two years ago, after breaking up with my boyfriend and asking myself, why the relationship didn't feel right. We never had sex, and for me, it always felt like more of a friendship. Turns out, there was actually an explanation for this lol I identify more as aro than ace ... I'm probably aegosexual, but I'm still not sure. I still "think" about stuff randomly, but I'm not attracted to anyone in real life. Realizing this is a spectrum is super helpful in finding the right labels. I'm actually a writer as well, and the main character of my detective novels is aroace. Writing my books really helped me with finding out who I am and how to categorize all of this. It's super interesting to incooperate this in art :D I wish more people could read them, because I feel like they are good representation ... but they are in German and currently not released xD Yeah, we need better representation!

@meghansandor 9 месяцев назад

Oh wow, I hope your books get published!! We need MUCH more representation and I love reading things that other ace and aroace creators write because it's always so thoughtful and relatable :)

@Neko123Uchiha 9 месяцев назад

@@meghansandor Thanks! I'm thinking about translating them to reach a bigger audience :) More representation by actual aspec people is SO important.

@Madamekittylein 18 дней назад

I'd love to read them, Im from Germany btw ;)

@Neko123Uchiha 18 дней назад

@@Madamekittylein Wow, eine Antwort! Ich hatte sie mal gepublished, aber wieder offline genommen. Die Idee bleibt, würde es gerne aber später anders umsetzen. Wünsche mir definitiv immer noch mehr aroace rep in Medien und denke, ich hab da eine coole Geschichte :D

@Madamekittylein 18 дней назад

@@Neko123Uchiha ich hab auch schon länger überlegt Geschichten über sowas zu schreiben, aber ich hab noch nie eine Zusammenhängende Geschichte geschrieben, es bleibt bei einer Grundidee und das wars -.-

@subu_versus 9 месяцев назад

Omg, so many things are running in my head now. I don't know if I'm ace, or how I would be ace. I'm lost between what I want and don't want for me, and what others wish I would be. This video is helping a lot !!!

@meghansandor 9 месяцев назад

I'm glad it helped you!

@aefrost5 15 дней назад

Intensely heteroromantic and asexual. It is so liberating at 57 years of age to be able to explain why or how I feel about things. Married for 24 years, so it would seem that I "can't" be, but it was ALWAYS an issue (frequency, boring, etc) yet there I was perfectly satisfied and didn't really care if it never happened again. Left me for another woman. I started doing research about Asexuality and OMG--so much just clicked about every stage in my life. It is just amazing to be in an identity and not "broken" like I was convinced I was since childhood. Excellent video. Thank you for taking the time to educate. ❤

@Lu-mw4pe Месяц назад

as an asexual who only recently figured it out, thank you so much for making this video.

@meghansandor Месяц назад

You're welcome! I'm so glad you found something useful in it :)

@C1thirty Месяц назад

Ace, artist, And writer here! I had no idea this was a thing lol ❤

@AegixDrakan 5 месяцев назад

Yeah, I'm an Ace and a Game Writer. I work at a small studio, and also sometimes get that kind of obsessive "work for hours after work on a small passion project" kind of feeling. XD I am also dating my D&D DM, who is also Ace. Her creative outlet is running (no joke) three whole sessions a week, all in the same world, where events that affect one party may affect the others. It's incredible how in-depth and alive she makes it feel.

@meghansandor 5 месяцев назад

That’s so cool! Game writer sounds like a really fun job ☺️

@AegixDrakan 5 месяцев назад

@@meghansandor It really is. I have my dream job, working at a studio that genuinely cares about its people. I would not have moved 3 hours away from all my friends and family for anything less. :)

@gh0st_b0yfriend 3 месяца назад

This is one of the most helpful videos (or any other media) I've seen yet for understanding asexuality as an allosexual person. I really appreciate the analogies and finding examples of different types of attraction etc that allo people experience to help us understand the different aspects. A lot of asexual material just feels like it's in a different language to me and it's given with a tone of annoyance and condescension towards allos rather than any attempt to explain things in a way that I can understand them. Not that I don't get the annoyance but also I really want to understand the nuances! I had started to think it was an understanding divide that was just uncrossable, so I really appreciate this.

@meghansandor 3 месяца назад

Thank you so much, both for your thoughtful comment and for your thoughtfulness in seeking to understand the experiences of aspec people :) I made this video with the intention of helping allosexual people better understand what it's like to be ace, and I'm so happy it resonated!!

@glorialee6925 8 месяцев назад

Wow I rarely comment on RU-vid but this video is SOOO eye opening for me and it answered tons of questions I’ve had about my possible asexuality, which most (alosexual) people I’ve inquired about would be weirded out by (because they probably experience attractions in that linear way you explained in the video and that makes so much sense to me now!!). And speaking to people about it only to be told that I probably just ‘haven’t found the right person yet’ or ‘you just have a really low libido’ have puzzled me for ages and have also made me quite insecure about my sexuality, being fairly inexperienced in sex probably has made it even more difficult for me to come to the conclusion that I’m actually on the asexual spectrum, because I do believe maybe I just haven’t found the right person yet due to my limited sexual experiences with people. TBH I was still having doubts about it until I watched your explanation of attraction, libido and desire. I’ve always been doubting my asexuality because I do have libido (as in when I’m home alone and I suddenly felt horny but not towards a person at all, the exact same scenario you gave in the video!). I guess I’ve confused libido with sexual desire/attraction for a long time and I thought I shouldn’t have that if I’m asexual. Asexuality is not a new concept to me but I’ve known nothing beyond the absence of sexual attraction bit of it. And I remember thinking to myself ‘what even is sexual attraction?’ the first time I looked asexuality up, because I’ve literally NEVER experienced that, of course I don’t know what it is! I’ve been doing a lot of self reflection and self understanding recently, and I can’t thank you enough for this video!❤

@user-uk9yw6go8h 5 месяцев назад

This video is filled with new and interesting information for me. I will have to watch it many more times to absorb it. Thank you for taking the time to share.

@meghansandor 5 месяцев назад

Thank you for your wonderful feedback! I'm glad I was able to add some value with it :)

@lizmutton 8 месяцев назад

Interesting that you bring up Aces and artists. I don't know a lot of ace people but literally every single one of them is an artist in some way. My friend (who has talked about being ace but hasn't actually confirmed it, seems likely from my perspective lmao) is about to release his first single, which is a precursor to a black metal/drone/dark ambient album he's working on. I'm personally trying to learn harsh vocals to start up my own black/doom metal project in the future, which unfortunately isn't exactly going well, but I'd say it still counts to a degree. My other ace friend works on set design for plays and musicals. Hadn't really considered it before, but there's definitely a correlation in there somewhere.

@llsilvertail561 9 месяцев назад

I’ve known I was aroace for a while so I don’t watch a lot of ace content on RU-vid, but for some reason this popped up and it’s honestly a really good explanation of what asexuality is, in a way that’s easy for allo people to relate to. So I’m prob gonna steal some of your analogies XD. Thank you for putting your story out there!! Edit: and I want to add for anyone who’s questioning in the comments, labels are descriptive not prescriptive. They might never be perfect, but that doesn’t make them any less true. You can try on a label to see how it fits and change it if it doesn’t. Just bc it’s a phase doesn’t make it any less real. I mean, being alive is just a phase between death, but no one says that’s fake do they?

@meghansandor 9 месяцев назад

THANK YOU for this comment, and I love your analogy about life just being a phase. I'll trade you my analogies for that one ;) And also thank you for your kind words, this video was intended mostly for allo people, to help them understand asexuality, but I'm pleasantly surprised by how many aces found it validating and informative 💜🤍🩶🖤

@seabhactheshifty 5 месяцев назад

This so helpful -thank you! I discovered that I'm on the ace spectrum a few years ago, in my early 40's. So many things are making sense. Healing the young person that felt they were broken and had to "learn to be/feel like normal people do" 😢 I'm also relieved that there are so many more people who figured this out at a later age 😅

@a.forrest.illustration 9 месяцев назад

Out here in the wild as an Ace Artist and Illustration, SLAY!

@user-ok4hh3hw6f 3 месяца назад

Hey, just wanted to say thank you for your videos! I've been watching them for the last days and remembered/realised how important this is! A few years ago I first discovered that I'm somewhere on the ace spectrum but I kind of pushed it back down because while the people around me tried to understand, they didn't really? I'm in my early twenties and I can't exactly get around feeling like I'm missing something when so many people around me are super into sex... So I'm really grateful for people sharing their stories, showing me that it's really fine to be myself and figure out what I want to try, what I don't want and what actually is right for me and not what I think should be (btw liked your comphet video as well) So thanks again!

@meghansandor 3 месяца назад

Thank you for sharing your story! It's so important for us to do that, I definitely relate to feeling like you're an outcast or that people around you don't/won't understand. But you'll find your community! It takes a while but eventually you will :)

@ThePhilosophicalOpossum 28 дней назад

Blown away! You speak so well, so glad I found this! You are underrated 🌟💫

@meghansandor 27 дней назад

Thank you! Tell all your friends😉

@Ar7ifur 10 месяцев назад

this is SUCH a good video and helped me think through a lot of my confusion. I am ace and an artist too, I wonder why thats such a trend. I have always debated, especially with fictional characters, what was sexual attraction and what was just excitement for a good character especially since I am an illustrator.

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

Thank you!! Your comment just made my day, that's exactly why I made this video 💜 Glad that it helped you think through things!

@JimMork 9 месяцев назад

Meghan makes great lifestyle videos. I'm suspecting she's Aspergers, but I only label myself that way.

@meghansandor 9 месяцев назад

@@JimMork I suspect I am as well!

@JimMork 9 месяцев назад

@@meghansandor You do show that focus.

@meghansandor 9 месяцев назад

@@JimMork that's what tipped me off that maybe something was going on with neurodivergence, because of my ability to hyperfocus and the fact that I have absolutely zero control over it at all

@vanessaaves3271 10 месяцев назад

So, I’m new to realizing I’m ace. I was always in relationships but only was physical with them because I felt like it was expected of me. I always used to go through the motions to get to what I really wanted: the cuddling. It didn’t take away my love for the person, feeling pressured, but the happiest times in my life have been when I’m single. I’ve been single for 6 years now and thriving (I mean, I do have mental health issues but that’s it’s own thing). So, in reality, i have no idea if I’m actually ace or not. I’ve certainly dating a ton and been physical with all of them. But I never really enjoyed it and now that it’s gone, I don’t miss it. Ps. I’m an artist.

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

Sounds ace to me! 💜I resonated with a lot of that, and I think it comes down to your comfort level with choosing to identify as ace or not. We all arrive at that conclusion through very different paths, and all are valid! I love that you're an artist. What kind of art do you do??

@vanessaaves3271 10 месяцев назад

@@meghansandor haha I have my MFA in painting and drawing but do very little of either. I usually just do crafty stuff now. Example, I play dungeons and dragons, so I started making my own dice out of resin. I paint my own miniatures as well. I also have been making mobiles out of resin lately. I love alcohol ink (try them if you can). I do love and miss oil painting and drawing with graphite or charcoal, I just rarely do it. As far as the ace thing goes, I’ve told some people and have had a drastically different reaction from everyone. Most of my friends were just confused but still in the positive spectrum. I found it was my male friends who mostly didn’t get it and disregarded me as just “needing a break from dating.” An ex-boyfriend (from 13 years ago) now best friend was insulted. Like there was something wrong with him.

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

@@vanessaaves3271 resin is SO COOL, especially if you're making custom dice. That's REALLY cool. I've always wanted to get into resin stuff, especially with making pendants, maybe I should look into it! A lot of straight guys are hostile to asexual women (and people in general). I get it though, it's hard to not take it personally when someone's not physically attracted to you. There's also that stereotype about women not wanting sex, so when you're actually an asexual woman, a lot of straight men think we're just "labelling" ourselves unnecessarily, and they get weird and hostile about it because they don't realize that being asexual is a legitimate orientation. That's why for me, learning more about my orientation has gone hand-in-hand with unlearning internalized misogyny and patriarchy, because women so often are stereotyped as being "frigid" and uninterested in sex.

@vanessaaves3271 10 месяцев назад

@@meghansandor I very recently started getting into jewelry making with resin, mostly because I wanted to make something that would go with my Renaissance festival outfit lol it’s an expensive hobby! I’m also trying to get into cosplaying but me = bad at sewing.

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

@@vanessaaves3271 I wish we could trade hobbies for a day! I'm pretty good at sewing, I've been doing it every day for the past 3 years and I do a lot of cosplay. I wish I knew you IRL, we could trade skills!

@cary9479 Месяц назад

I am somewhere on the asexual spectrum, but what made me feel unsure is that I can be turned on from sexual things, like porn, stories (this activates it more than porn, becausethere is a story behind it and not just sex on its own) I read bit with time I realised that it doesn't contradict itself.

@meghansandor 29 дней назад

Exactly! Plenty of ace folk get turned on and have/enjoy sex. What makes someone ace depends on whether or not they experience sexual attraction towards a person, or groups of people.

@VullVull 6 дней назад

This is the fourth or fifth video I've watched talking about asexuality and I still can't understand the difference between libido and sexual attraction. I'm starting to wonder if I'm so asexual that I can't understand attraction, or I'm just bad at words.

@meghansandor 6 дней назад

@@VullVull be fair to yourself, it's really really hard to parse these things out! As far as I can tell, I think the difference is that libido = that feeling when you're just horny and want to scratch an itch, but it's not necessarily directed at anyone. Sexual attraction is when you see someone and THEN your libido kicks in because you want to have sex with that person. Libido by itself is just a vague desire to have an orgasm.

@andrewpotts87 10 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for this. As a fellow Ace, coming out and having to explain it can be such a frustrating experience (given as you noted, it frequently requires getting into TMI territory). Something I also appreciate enormously was your discussion about not feeling like you entirely belong within the Queer community, as well as trying to explore your own Queer identity. Anyway, thank you so much for this video, it made my day!

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for your comment! It made MY day to know that my video resonated with you and was able to validate your experiences. And hello from a fellow Ace! :)

@andrewpotts87 10 месяцев назад

@meghansandor479 thank you for the response! I'll share your video with my friends who want to understand it more.

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

@@andrewpotts87 thank YOU! I appreciate the share and the support :)

@macabrewiccan 2 месяца назад

Pan Ace here, you gained a follower because it's been really hard to explain to people understand why I'm not sensually attracted to someone. I literally have to break up with my ex because he doesn't respect the fact that I'm not into that. I appreciate your videos, I feel very seen. I personally keep trying to tell my mom that just because I've never been interested in sex that it means I cannot be attracted to the opposite sex, she's very old fashioned and thinks that I'm confused and that there's no way I could be attracted to a female simply because i haven't hooked up with one. , I'm a bit discouraged. I was definitely born this way, for sure. Also, I'm a writer myself , I am a role-player

@timnewman1172 Месяц назад

As an older cis/ace male, you really did an excellent job explaining this... especially the libido part! I still have a fairly high libido, so many allos just don't get this part!

@meghansandor Месяц назад

They really don't!

@okayemjay 8 дней назад

Aroace artist/writer here, great video!!

@AegixDrakan 5 месяцев назад

This was an outstanding breakdown that had me nodding and going "yup yup, this tracks!". It's going into my favourites and I'm going to pull this out anytime someone needs an in-depth analysis of what it means to be Ace! I really wish the language for this had existed in the early 2000s, it would have made things SO much clearer to me. I knew back then I wasn't interested, and I ended up letting society propagandize me into thinking "I really look forward to trying it once day"...Until I got unavoidable proof that I'm Ace and went "Man, SO many years of anxiety and confusion for nothing!"

@meghansandor 5 месяцев назад

I’m so happy that you found this useful and that’s exactly why I made it! So that we can refer people to it when we need to explain our sexuality because it can be sooo complicated and tricky for allo people to wrap their heads around

@madisons2117 Месяц назад

I was told by most of my partners that I could not be asexual before we knew there was a word for it. I had to work very hard to assure them that it wasn't caused by them. Most adults would speak to me in extremely unprofessional ways just assuming I was "up to no good" that I will never forget. Honestly, it feels like the culture I grew up in has a lot of deep dark issues with this discourse and circumvents that by assuming a heteronormative narrative.

@niicespiice 9 месяцев назад

pretty sure i'm ace and i'm generally quite a creative person, so i'm adding to that statistic

@rosaannarilli4905 10 месяцев назад

Wow Meghan, so much to know about this topic, All I will say is remove the labels, labels are for clothing not people, no one should be in the closet just let people be who they are without labeling them. I'm a straight person who has been divorced since 1997 and to this day, I have never had sex and really don't care to. When ever someone hears this they are shocked! Meghan, you are a brave women, I have a lot of respect for you!

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

Thank you! It's definitely a big topic to cover and I was a bit nervous to post this for sure! Thanks for the support 💜

@dashboots376 10 месяцев назад

Cool video, never seen your content before TBH, but I guess the algorithm got me here because I watch a lot of queer content, specially if they're talking about asexuality since I'm ace, going to go look at some of your fashion content too, but I appreciate you talking about this, because growing up I felt so alienated from humanity, I unironically believed I was not human at all because people claimed that sex and love were such fundamental parts of the human experience, and well, personally I am Aro Ace, but anyway it's good to talk about this because knowing about these things would have saved me a lot of existentially driven depression and mental breakdowns from feeling so disconnected from the rest of humanity.

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

It's so hard to feel like you're broken or like you don't belong, and not really know why. Having a word for it helps so much, and I'm glad you found your way to that word and found a community of others who are just like you! 💜🤍🩶🖤

@AmandaIbraimovic 8 месяцев назад

Ace, writer and artist here LOL

@TriciawithaC 10 месяцев назад

(raises hand) I'm aro-ace and my artsy hobbies include origami, sewing, music, and baking. I remember when I first discovered I was ace, it wasn't my *lack* of sexual attraction that clued me in (because how can I know what it's like to experience something I don't?), but the realization that almost everyone else *does* experience it and I have no idea what it feels like. It was like going your whole life thinking it's normal to have 2 thumbs that are different sizes because that's what your thumbs are like, only to realize at 21 that most people do, in fact, have thumbs that are the same size. I have never understood what it means to have a "nice butt," and I don't think I ever will (what are people seeing that I'm not?!). In short, how did I realize I was asexual? By realizing that everyone else isn't. ETA: I actually gave a lecture very similar to your video back when I was in medical school as part of our school's sex and gender medicine course. The irony is that I then spent the next 3 years effectively re-closeting myself while in residency. I guess the imposter syndrome is doubly severe when you're also a doctor lol. But I guess that's just what I reflexively do when people find out I'm pushing 30 and still single and tell me patronizing things like "you'll change your mind someday" or "you still have time." I also happen to be a WOC, so growing up it was "don't you dare get a boyfriend" until suddenly it was "*when* you get a boyfriend in college" and "isn't it about time you married her off?" Nevermind that I don't have the vocabulary to explain what I am in their language, and they would almost certainly assure me I'll change my mind even if I could explain it. Also wanted to clarify that the DSM-V lists female sexual interest/arousal disorder as a disorder but specifies that one of the diagnostic criteria is that it causes clinically significant distress or impairment, and self-identifying as ace actually precludes a diagnosis of FSIAD

@ariadne0w1 10 месяцев назад

Lol. Also aroace and crafty (sewing, baking, knitting, etc)...with thumbs that are 2 different sizes. Came out to myself at 20, although my realization was more along the lines of accepting that being straight wasn't going to be something I grew into and "hypothetically heterosexual" wasn't a thing. You don't happen to like the All For The Game series, do you?

@TriciawithaC 10 месяцев назад

@@ariadne0w1I've never heard of it

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

@TriciawithaC Thank you so much for sharing your story 💜 I'm sorry you keep getting invalidated about your identity. That's extremely hurtful and frustrating, and I hope that you have a good community of friends or an online community where you can be accepted for who you are, in all the fullness and beauty of it. And thank you for clarifying about the DSM-V!! 😁 Origami?? That's so cool!! I love to bake and sew too, those are my two main hobbies. I love your analogy about the thumbs, and I feel exactly the same way about people's butts 😆For a long time I thought everyone was lying or exaggerating about finding people "hot" and I didn't even know what they meant by it. It IS really hard to know that you're experience is different from other peoples' when that's all you've ever known. It feels sometimes like trying to describe colours, you just can't really find the right words, but you know what you feel (and don't feel).

@ariadne0w1 10 месяцев назад

@@TriciawithaC No worries, then, more of an inside joke. It's a self-published trilogy about a fictional sport and the mafia with a demisexual MC. Don't know if I would recommend it, I just brought it up because I ended up in a craft group of fans of it and a startling proportion of us are some shade of ace, so I thought it would be really funny if we had that in common as well.

@JimMork 9 месяцев назад

@@meghansandor ACERS are the opposite of Incels. Seems to me.

@tallonhunter3663 10 месяцев назад

Hi. Autistic Ace alloro het cis dude here. I would like to share something. I am afraid to be around women, even as friends. I have trouble socializing and reading people generally, and being ace just puts a huge blindspot in a very dangerous area. I feel like there is an assumption that if i am being emotionally available or open (i prefer fewer friends with deeper bonds) or displaying interest that i am trying to get in someone's pants. If i remove a female friend from my life for any reason, that is generally the accusation. That the whole friendship was an effort to get in their pants. Even if I've told them I'm ace. It's incredibly alienating and dangerous. Even asking "are you coming on to me?" As clarification and end up with me being accused of obscene things that i never even thought of. As this is a cis het ace place i... wanted to share my perspective as a het male ace. Thank you for reading.

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for sharing your perspective, it's very much needed, as navigating life/relationships when you're ace is tricky and can be really hurtful sometimes. I'm sorry you've been so misunderstood. Hopefully with more education and awareness, there will be less damaging and hurtful assumptions made about ace people.

@felfar197 4 месяца назад

thank you for sharing! I'm sorry for you :/

@Major-DoMo 3 месяца назад

Thank you for the comprehensive learning moment! I hope this will reach many.

@meghansandor 3 месяца назад

I hope so too!

@Perilous_perils_forrest 4 месяца назад

I’m ace (recently figured it out lol) and I’m an artist and a writer:)

@roguewolf128 9 месяцев назад

Amazing video! As an arro-ace I'm listening to your video while writing😅 I also sew! As well as wire wrapped jewelry and sculptures. I make the joke that since I'm not interested in anyone in any way, I have more time to make things. I'm a witch as well, and very blunt about everything, including my arro-ace aspect. I start the conversation and explain that I think sex is hilariously overblown(giggity) and I like to challenge people's perceptions about it. This serves 2 purposes, they get mad and leave me alone, or I educate someone for the next person. I've never had anyone get mad at me for being arro-ace, but I'm a 6 foot tall afab built like a brick wall, I feel I make them more nervous than mad, lol. I relized I was ace around 28 when I read through a LGBTQ IA+ magazine with the different pride flags and asexual was one. A lot of things clicked, I discovered something about myself and it helped with my anger. I'm neuro-spicy and the frustration of not knowing was a major issue.

@meghansandor 9 месяцев назад

I can relate to SO much of that. I'm neurospicy too, and also had a lot of anger until I realized I was queer and actually let myself embrace that. I also do wire wrapped sculptures and I'm witchy too! I love how you challenge peoples' perceptions of sex. That's so important, because our culture places so much emphasis on it.

@Daveinbangormaine 10 месяцев назад

Meghan I will share this on Twitter and Facebook right now.

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

Thanks for the support, Dave! 💖

@TheGinnyhp 9 месяцев назад

Ace writer reporting lol great video! Subscribed!

@meghansandor 9 месяцев назад

Thank you!!! Welcome on board the Ace train, fellow writer :)

@jlmoose3511 4 месяца назад

IM RARE?!?

@code798 9 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for this video. I was thinking about the connection you made between authors + artists and ace people... here are my two cents on it: Authors and artists tend to be relatively well-known people. In other words, people you can actively find out about. Maybe we've all become a bit more public figures since social media, but not to the extent that kings and scientists have...Smells like a bias to me, but isn't that the universal human experience ;)

@meghansandor 9 месяцев назад

That could definitely be it! Just more exposure = more correlation. Love that perspective! :)

@temtom9786 5 месяцев назад

Ohmygod ONE PERCENT?! 😭 ARUGRHRBBBBB WHYYYYYY I'm never gonna find someone LMAO

@meghansandor 5 месяцев назад

I’m sure it’s actually higher than that!

@amani5685 2 месяца назад

Keep in mind that one percent is literally 80 million people! that is a big number! You still have a chance 💛💛

@giokyria5383 Месяц назад

I am ace and also a seamstress. I dabble in gardening, knitting, crocheting, tatting, painting/drawing, and cooking/baking. I have two ace friends, one is a seamstress and cosplayer, the other is a painter, so I’m thinking that the anecdotal evidence lines up!

@tdsollog 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for doing this video. I’m a child of the 80s. Heterosexual cisgender female. I grew up around the “you’re a sl@t or you’re frigid” dichotomy. I’m a mom of 2 boys. Short story…. I did a lot of self discovery, and I’m pretty sure I’m Demi

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

I hate the Madonna/Whore thing, it's so damaging. I'm glad you were able to discover more of who you are, and congratulations! Self-discovery is a hard but very rewarding process and you deserve to be your full and authentic self :)

@tdsollog 10 месяцев назад

@@meghansandor I agree. I despise that dichotomy. Purity culture and heteronormative stuff is awful.

@ninitend0 8 месяцев назад

I just finished the video, now I am more educated. And I felt validated. Thank u for this video!

@meghansandor 8 месяцев назад

Glad it was helpful!

@SethWilson Месяц назад

Thanks so much for this! I’m learning about my own asexuality, and this is really helpful!

@Karymon-1999 17 дней назад

I can say from my experience that being asexual and heterosexual is easy with friends and family, they can simply ignore if they don't understand or don't want to understand and that's fine, it gets complicated in romantic relationships 'cause others think i'm flirting with them when i'm just being nice or if i'm attracted to someone that person can feel that i don't love them enough if i don't pursue a sexual relationship That is my perspective and experience as a demi woman And it's funny when people figure out I make nsfw art commissions and are like: WTF? You're not supposed to like that! Hahahhaha

@Evaleastaristev 8 месяцев назад

Thank you for articulating that "sexual attraction is not the same as libido." Because sex feels good...but I don't crave it out side of just getting physical contact.

@meghansandor 8 месяцев назад

I thought that was important to talk about, I think a lot of people confuse the two (or don't necessarily think to separate them) and that's why people get so confused by the existence of asexual people who enjoy sex.

@cradica 2 месяца назад

Same. I honestly had a hard time telling if I'm asexual or not, but I am most certain I am gray asexual

@lilliac6143 Месяц назад

damn, caught me lackin. I was drawing while I found your video ahahah

@DulceN 2 месяца назад

Contrary to what I heard you say at the beginning of the video, not all ARO/ACE people are born this way. In fact, we can arrive to asexuality in a number of different ways, one of them being mental trauma. I did years of research because this is what happened to me after enduring a 22-year abusive marriage and considering myself a cis female for six decades. While I appreciate beauty in men and enjoy their friendship, I have no interest or appetite whatsoever in/for any kind of sexual activity or intimacy. This is not an age related problem or forced celibacy on my part, as many females do enjoy and seek s*x after menopause, it is an absolute disinterest in anything related to it, which makes me part of the ARO/ACE collective.

@meghansandor 2 месяца назад

I’m so sorry that happened to you, and you’re right that sometimes asexuality can be a result of trauma; however, I was careful not to pathologize it in this video because aspec people have their identity invalidated and dismissed all the time, and one of the ways that acephobia manifests is through people saying that it’s not a legitimate sexual orientation, it’s just a result of trauma. I didn’t want to perpetuate that stereotype, so I didn’t mention it. Not to invalidate your experience AT ALL, just my goal with this video was to help people see asexuality and aromanticism as legitimate orientations that belong under the queer umbrella.

@cradica 2 месяца назад

I actually heard someone else say his sexuality changed from trama too. Got hit in the head so hard it turned him gay.

@claytoncrawford3167 10 месяцев назад

Meghan..... Have you ever the cliched expression... "You Go Girl"..... This vlog is to be cherished!.... Excellent!... The opening segment is seriously a grandslam.... Myself, being Austic, I find it difficult to READ people.... So, there is something about ME showing YOU I am being honest... I Like girls... But I find it difficult to READ body language at times... I am a little weird, Meghan!.... Anyway, this vlog is to be cherished!... Excellent!

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

Aww thank you!! I can relate, I have a hard time reading people too!

@silvananivis9867 10 месяцев назад

I can't stop looking at your tattoo. It's absolutely gorgeous

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

Oh thank you!! I just got it finished a couple of weeks ago and I want to just wear strapless things forever and ever haha.

@rocketsgowee7334 2 дня назад

Oh god i think im aroace. this video actually really opened my eyes i never got attracted to anyone sexually or romantically and i hate the thought of having sex myself it makes me feel uneasy and squeamish. i always thought that when someone said "oh they look hot" it meant that they just thought that person looked good like how you compliment a friend. i can't believe i never realized this before, i feel really stupid now.

@thaniajovel1982 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for this video, I learned alot from this video.

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

Glad it was helpful!

@gardengobin 7 месяцев назад

I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR THIS VIDEO, ive been confused for so long as a homoromantic asexual and your descriptions of libido and such WE'RE SO AWAKENING

@meghansandor 7 месяцев назад

I’m so glad that it helped you, that warms my heart to hear!❤️❤️

@cradica 2 месяца назад

Same, well about the libido part. I'm either aro ace or gray ace

@zeusandodin 2 месяца назад

Hey! Thanks for making this video. This is so helpful with solidifying my identity and sexual orientation! It’s hard to find long, information-filled videos such as this on asexuality. So thank you so much again for making this! (also, I’m a musician, so I guess the artist thing also applies lol) 🖤🩶🤍💜

@UFO_MAN 9 месяцев назад

Am ace and am artist / musician / photographer / writer

@cookiecat7759 7 месяцев назад

i also feel like, as someone who's aroace, it always bothers me when ppl are suprised at me for finding people pretty, wantitng to have close emotiuonal connection, yadyada, like i lack romantic and sexual attrraction, but there are SO many other types of attrcation otgher than that!!! i still have eyes and i am still human who longs for intimicy, just not the romantic or sexual kind

@user-cy4fd7mx5k 2 месяца назад

You caught me drawing while watching this lol

@ufoconc 2 месяца назад

Thanks, this helped me understand I'm actually ace. I'm also a designer and have a lot of aesthetic attraction so uh... I think you're on to something.

@clarkbowler157 7 месяцев назад

Great video, Thank You! Do you think there might be a significant overlap of Artistic, Autistic and Asexual people? To me it sometimes seems (Perhaps, I'm mistaken) that NeuroDiversity could be a factor influencing culturally innovative thinking in many domains. This includes the arts, sexuality and others. What are your thoughts?

@meghansandor 7 месяцев назад

I think you might be onto something!

@JimMork 9 месяцев назад

Wow, her Value Village garb has covered that amazing tat! Glad I got onto this channel.

@ninitend0 8 месяцев назад

I’m glad that I found this video. I will watch it later since I don’t have time now. Maybe this video has some answers to my insecurities so I will definitely watch it. I think I am an ACE AND I wanna be in a relationship. However, I feel super insecure and feel like I will never find someone that likes me unless I find someone who is OK w not having s*x. And it’s really hard. I have never met w an ACE. I feel like I will d*e alone.. I started to hate myself because of not being like others who are super ok w s*x. Btw I watched the video partially. My major is Communication and Design. Which means I’m a Fine Arts student. And I like writing scripts. Maybe ACE people are really artistic people!! 💓💓

@meghansandor 8 месяцев назад

I've been in a happy, healthy relationship with someone who's not ace for 4 years now. It is possible! Just takes a lot of courage, communication, compromise and consistency, but it definitely is possible. Don't let being ace stop you from going after what you want :)

@greenexp9899 8 месяцев назад

As someone who grew up male, though is currently trying start presenting femme, this video is immensely helpful. Sexuality was like genuinely scary to me growing up. Also artist lmao

@meghansandor 8 месяцев назад

Congrats on starting that journey! I have friends going through it right now and it's scary but also really joyful. Also there's a big overlap between asexuality and agender/trans communities ;)

@hugolarasoto1497 2 месяца назад

I'm 18 years old and I'm trying to figure out if I'm aroace or maybe into the spectrum, since I have never felt that genuine attraction, but still want to be really sure about it (and yeah I'm an artist, so it might reinforce that theory)

@evildeed90s 9 месяцев назад

im Asexual im not attracted to men or women ive had relationships with both genders thinking im either gay or straight or bi but always broke it off after having sex it repulses me to the point where it makes me have anxiety and feel like im going to pass out just by the thought of it ive even tried masturbation even that doesn't do it for me.

@meghansandor 9 месяцев назад

A lot of aces are sex-repulsed and that's totally valid!

@cranetoks3448 2 месяца назад

OMG accidental flirtation is my social life. I lost a lot of friends because of this… So painful. Also - I am an ACE artist. Also also - how do we know if ACE is rare if it’s just not discussed much? I learned that others were just as blasé about sex as I was relatively recently.

@ayowhatdadogdoin4590 Месяц назад

Ive been drawing my whole life.. it may be a sign, but who knows lol. One or two times (im a minor), when i was hanging out with my friend, some strange men tried to lean in and have a conversation with us. It felt almost as if creeper wanted to befriend with us and it felt *very* gross. Also, i have a partner, whom i love dearly. So, one time we were cuddling as usual and they said that they were turned on, so we just layed down for 5-10 minutes until they calmed themselves down. In that moment i realised that i might not be allosexual in a usual sense. But, what if my attraction will 'rose' as a flower, will i be considered demisexsual or who?

@Lunaliiii 10 месяцев назад

Great video! Where is that graphic from 21:11 from? It is exactly what i need as an overview.

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

Thanks! It was from a Reddit thread but I can't remember which one. If you google image search for asexual flags you should find it though!

@Lunaliiii 10 месяцев назад

@@meghansandor thank you!

@Emihasdreamstoo Месяц назад

Actually it's not just grayaces that are into kinks like BDSM. One study found that asexuals in general have about the same interest in BDŚM and such as allosexuals. I personally like to read about certain BDSM aspects. One thing that I'd also like to mention, is that based on some study, they found no significant difference in the libidos of asexuals and allosexual. Last thing I'd like to add, is that some people can lose their sexual attraction for the rest of their lives due to trauma. Human sexuality is very complex

@SteppefordWife 18 дней назад

I'm not sure where you're getting the 1% stat from, I thought it was more like 10%? As asexuality becomes more widely known, understood and accepted, I think a lot of people who were always on the ace spectrum would finally have to words to identify that fact. Ace experiences and very deep issues with compulsory sexuality are pretty common so I reckon the stats are low because of limited widespread knowledge of the identity atm.

@nikczemna_symulakra 7 месяцев назад

Having an unspecified inkling of being somewhat on the outside of this whole human sexual experience bubble, it was genuinely hilarious to realize after the fact that each protagonist i've brought up to life was unintentionally, though implicitly, asexual ;D However, as an aftermath of being forced to deal with men's projections, unfortunately even as a kid, i grew up hyper-aware and über-instinctive about people's thoughts..

@NegaHumanX 9 месяцев назад

I think I'm Aromantic, and I've been drawing since I was a little kid. One of the things that muddles it a bit is that I'm also autistic and hyperfocus on anime, comics, games, ect (basically anything I could get a story from or tell a story with). It's hard to say if it comes from one specific source or a combination of my sexuality, disability, and personality (I was bullied a lot and really severely so I'm not all that attached to people in general).

@meghansandor 9 месяцев назад

There's a huge crossover between autism and asexuality. Not to perpetuate stereotypes but I have noticed that a lot of autistic people are asexual/aromantic. That being said, not every ace/aro person is autistic! I might actually do a video about this at some point.

@NegaHumanX 9 месяцев назад

@meghansandor I find videos like that can be really helpful in breaking down the stereotypes. It's a lot better than relying on a game of telephone.

@meghansandor 9 месяцев назад

@@NegaHumanX I agree. Maybe I'll do that one next. Thanks for the idea! :)

@brianthatweirdbarberguy 2 месяца назад

re. 19:40 is there no distinction between desire to engage in sexual activity with someone, and arousal as a reaction to them?

@wermaus 9 месяцев назад

thank you

@mx.n1383 Месяц назад

My partner is ace and they're an artist and a writer. I might be ace-spec as well and I like to write too, especially poetry

@6Haunted-Days 9 месяцев назад

O also Emily Brontë only wrote ONE novel….🤷🏼‍♀️😂 you said she’d written several. Her other sisters did, yes. She wrote poems and snippets and whatnot…..but only the ONE novel……

@meghansandor 9 месяцев назад

Thank you for the correction!! Super appreciate :)

@cloud5544 29 дней назад

i fear i may have done the “talking about sex in a casual way and making the other person think i want to have sex with them or something” pleasure is an interesting topic :[ why cant people understand that conversing about something isnt an invitation. i thought an invitation was an invitation

@meghansandor 29 дней назад

Because our culture is straight, cis, hetero, neurotypical and allo-centric so any perspectives outside that are almost never considered, unfortunately.

@user-wx4zt7fv1o 2 месяца назад

Hi ! Yes in my case I write and perform/dance and ace

@teya.-.7843 9 месяцев назад

I’m ace and an artist LMAO I’m also a huge fan of Emily Brontës novel

@vinnyfromvenus8188 2 месяца назад

I'm an ace and an artist! Musician specifically.

@badumtss9535 9 месяцев назад

Thank you 💜🤍🖤

@Wood_969 8 месяцев назад

I just don’t even think. Of people like that I focus on art. I think to, for myself to try to imagine would be to change my very life and how I live. It’s possible but it’s almost alien to me. And I think it would just bring sadness or happiness I’m not entirely certain. I know I could’ve done it. And still could. Uhm If anyone reads this, it’s because I’m using text to speech, and I’m simply voicing my own opinions as I speak and that is why it is phrased in this certain way and goes on and on like an ever ending Story But thanks for the video. I will answer any questions.

@ArcaneNemesis 6 дней назад

I'm Ace + Demiromantic. I've been writing stories since I was 10 or 11 years old, and have always been a creative person. I personally think the creative part might just be from a lot of Aro/Ace people being neurodivergent (I'm Autistic) - also not engaging in sex and/or romance frees up time to do other things so maybe that's another reason. Idk, just what I think.

@meghansandor 6 дней назад

I agree, on both fronts! Speaking just purely anecdotally, in my experience the venn diagram of aspec and neurodivergent folk is a circle 😅

@harjotjassal9180 10 месяцев назад

Nice 👍🏻 video Meghan

@meghansandor 10 месяцев назад

Thank you Harjot!

@twopiesforeyes 5 месяцев назад

Need a collection of plushie body parts asap

@tannermiller829 10 дней назад

I'm sort of new to all this. I don't even know if I am ace. I have had my suspicions, since I don't really want to do the nasty, cause I find it kinda gross, but does that just mean I'm a weird straight guy? I have a libido, but I don't really want to ever do that with another person. Does that just mean I'm lying to myself? I want a romantic relationship, and I recognize that sex is typically a part of that, so does that mean I'm just being contratian for attention and I'm just lying to myself? Am I secretly just a bad person for being this way? Should I even pursue this when I can easily just ignore it and have a perfectly "normal" straight relationship? I'm so confused.

@tannermiller829 10 дней назад

I don't want to invade a space I shouldn't be in. I don't want to have some sort of weird "stolen valor" because I genuinely do respect LGBT people, and I think a lot of them are incredibly brave. I don't want to accidentally associate myself with you guys if I'm not really ace, cause I don't want to give you all a bad name. I don't want to say that and find out later that I was wrong and contribute to the stereotype that ace people just "haven't met the right person".

@meghansandor 10 дней назад

@@tannermiller829 if you think you might be asexual, it's okay to claim ace identity while you figure things out. Many queer people question and wonder about their identities all the time. Being queer is such a fluid and personal thing, and we live in a society that enforces heterosexuality, and sexuality in general. It's hard to separate what your authentic desires are from what you've been raised to want. If you're questioning things, I'd encourage you to learn about compulsory heterosexuality and how it obscures identity. And good luck! You're not alone in your struggles ❤

@ArcaneNemesis 6 дней назад

Sounds like you might be Aegosexual (part of the Asexual umbrella) and just alloromantic (similar to allosexual just for the romantic side of things). You can be Ace and still feel romantic attraction, you don't need to feel both unlike what some people think.