Polyamory, Relationship Anarchy & Queerplatonic Partnerships: Are They Really the Same Thing? 

I’ve felt a level of connection with the aro/ace community for a long time but always felt like something was missing. This video gave me a lot of really interesting things to think about so that I can reevaluate my relationship with romantic and platonic attraction in a more nuanced way. Thank you so much!!

00:00 🎥 The video provides an overview of polyamory, relationship anarchy, and queerplatonic partnerships. 02:21 🔍 Polyamory involves loving, committed relationships with multiple partners, based on informed consent and ongoing communication. 05:36 📚 Relationship Anarchy applies anarchist principles to personal relationships, valuing all connections equally regardless of their type. 08:24 🔄 Polyamory should not be used to fix existing monogamous relationships; it requires trust, communication, and mutual consent among all partners. 11:52 🌐 There are various forms of polyamory, including hierarchical and non-hierarchical structures, each with its own dynamics and complexities. 15:48 🏴‍☠ Relationship Anarchy challenges societal norms by deconstructing hierarchies and questioning the prioritization of romantic relationships over other types of connections. 17:40 🔍 Relationship Anarchy aims to dismantle coercive romantic norms, allowing partners to maximize autonomy. 18:08 💭 Relationship Anarchy is a philosophy applicable to various relationship structures, not just polyamory. 18:37 🏳‍🌈 Relationship Anarchy values unique connections, challenging traditional relationship milestones. 19:21 💑 Love and respect over entitlement: Relationship Anarchy discourages pressuring partners based on societal norms. 20:43 💡 Find your core relationship values, respecting personal boundaries regardless of societal expectations. 21:25 🚫 Reject heteronormative pressure, challenging societal views of what constitutes a valid relationship. 21:54 🌱 Embrace the unexpected, allowing relationships to evolve naturally without predefined expectations. 22:23 🛠 Address jealousy and disappointment through self-reflection and open communication in Relationship Anarchy. 23:05 🤝 Trust is fundamental; assume partners have the best intentions and communicate openly about needs. 24:46 🔄 Customize commitments in Relationship Anarchy, avoiding societal norms to prioritize genuine connections. 25:28 🌐 Relationship Anarchy is inclusive and adaptable, differing from polyamory by rejecting hierarchy. 26:09 📜 Legal and financial systems often favor traditional relationships, excluding alternative structures like polyamory and Relationship Anarchy. 27:49 🎓 Adulthood is often defined by societal and marital status, neglecting internal emotional and intellectual growth. 29:00 🔄 The relationship escalator dictates societal expectations of love and progression, excluding diverse relationship styles. 31:36 🏳‍🌈 Queer platonic partnerships challenge norms of romantic and sexual love, providing deep connections without traditional expectations. 34:20 🏠 Historical examples of queer platonic partnerships demonstrate long-term companionship beyond romantic and sexual norms. 35:30 💡 Queer platonic relationships exist between platonic and romantic feelings, often without a sexual component. 36:38 🤔 Personal experiences with polyamory highlight the importance of healthy communication and understanding motivations. 38:14 💑 While some find fulfillment in monogamous relationships, others thrive in non-hierarchical queer platonic partnerships. 39:25 🔥 Navigating shifts in romantic relationships, such as transitioning to domestic partnerships, can be profound but may not suit everyone's desires. 42:15 🌈 Ideal relationships may involve nested queer platonic partnerships, allowing for deep connections while maintaining personal autonomy. 44:18 🏠 Domestic labor and emotional support play crucial roles in relationship satisfaction, challenging traditional gender roles and assumptions.

Ace Autistic dude here... YES FOR THE DOMESTIC LABOR VID! I grew up within a divorced narcissist powerstruggle so on top of not understanding people (autistic) not understanding sexual relationships (ace) i just don't understand what to do much of the time. Also just found out as a result of this i largely operate as relationship anarchist due to "any port in a storm" as well as trust issues around finacial abuse/apologies for abuse. Thanks for sharing that. Uncomfortable infodump over!

I think hierarchical polyamory is interesting in that we often have a hierarchy in our friendships also.

Thank you for this excellent & informative video! We need more frank conversations about these type of relationships. Yes, communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. Humans live complicated, messy lives at times. Again, thanks for sharing Meghan. You're awesome🥰

i was raised mormon, stopped believing at 18, and even with all my progressive thoughts at a surprisingly early age, i still have that internalized amatanormativity that marriage is the best ever even tho im also a-spec and poly 😭 ill often catch myself when seeing an average gf/bf couple and worrying on their behalf they have an expiration date bc they arent engaged and im like 😦😦 erm what the scallop no?? i dont even know if i want to get married and there are PLENTY of non-engaged couples who are just as serious as married ones. it really sucks when u have some belief instilled in u from a young age that u dont believe anymore yet still have to deal with because unlearning takes work

Man, your videos are PACKED full of good information. I have to get out a notebook and take notes when I watch them. Thanks!

I have never heard of relationship anarchy before! Quite interesting. I've heard of values and relationship styles that align with it, but not that specific term. Queerplatonic and poly relationships have existed in my radar ever since I've considered I may be aromantic as far back as middle school (it's still up in the air). First because poly seemed to accept atypical dynamics and then discovering the term qp later on. I think it is lovely that people have come together with communities and names for connections that do not conform to set societal roles. I have abstained from relationships outside of family and typical friendship due to a variety of reasons, but if I ever do enter anything more complex, I would imagine it would be something along these lines. Thank you for the video :)

Being able to like this video only once doesn't feel like it does justice I find your videos really refreshing and certainly look forward to seeing more from you! 💜

Society’s laws around marriage make it more about money than actually anything else

this video is so well explained! i think what turned me off from non-monogamy for the longest time was i assumed most poly relationships were hierarchal and also the worry of getting less attention than another partner. i'm aroace-spec with bpd and an anxious attachment style so i have a ton of inner healing to do before i could ever attempt non-monagomy but all the power to those that make it work!

This is such a superb, highly informative, well researched video Meghan. Thanks so much. You make terrific points and I really appreciate you speaking about how people with anxious attachment should approach these relationships with some caution. I work in a psych practice and people can get harmed and/or very triggered, and perhaps retraumatized, if they haven't worked through important psychological issues that exist before trying out different types of intimate relationships. I think your work in videos is always refreshing, thoughtful, thought provoking and they are very enjoyable! Much appreciated! I hope you are doing really well! Cheers! 🙂

Not gonna lie as an Aro-Ace (maybe Demi idk yet) I'm still figuring out my way of viewing relationships but Relationship Anarchy sounds so good and Queerplatonic may be what I was looking for, guess I'll eventually find out. Also the decision of not always prioritazing your partner without feeling guilty because there's more relationships and goals to achieve in life feels like common sense that should be applied more often. And I'm all up for breaking the norm and have a "non-important/serious" relationship if that's what society calls it. One thing I know for sure is that I don't want kids (and heck is that difficult for some people to understand XD seriously I hate bs about "mothers' instinct") I deeply admire the polyamorous relationships and the level of commitment, communication and honesty they require, surely not for everyone but if you can make it work, they must be so awesome. Thank you for such an informative video, there are concepts here that I never heard before and I'll further explore later for sure.

Infodumps=showing love and care. So thank you! I was searching for...ah....yeah I was searching. :)

Yes, please do talk more at length about the different approaches to child rearing that different cultures have! I'd love to hear more about that.

What a great video! Filled with great perspectives and research! These are things all people should consider about how they interact with the world. A shame it’s considered “radical” to be so conscientious!

I'm new to your channel/videos and I'm so glad that I found them! Very interesting topics!

That was an extremely good well-informed video highly under the radar Bless Daddy algorithm for bringing it to me. May it spread

Very interesting stuff to go over from an ace perspective

YURRRRR THESE TOPICS R MY SHITTYT

Im a trans woman whos dating a nonbinary partner weve been together for almost 2 years. I dont want to get into everything about it but i will say that. That this video definitely helped me kinda understand myself a little more as. Polyamorous felt close but not exactly what i wanted. This gave me more useful information. As well as just more words to describe what im feeling. Thank you

Thank you for the very informative video!

I am so glad I came across your video. appreciate you

Hi Meghan, interesting topic! All I will say is thank goodness, I'm not in any relationship by choice!😀

Excellent video Meghan

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What is a romantic friendship? Is it the same as a queer platonic relationship?

Thank you for this Meghan.

I'm wondering how close together you and your partner live to make your relationship work?

it sounds strange to me when you say that if you struggle with non-secure attachment styles you're not ready for polyamory, like, it's not everyone who can afford or have access to therapy so they can figure out these kind of things

This is interesting but your really speaking fast, makes it harder to absorb. 😅

Relationship Anarchy is interesting but damn it is sooooo not for me. Rock on those who do it though

"Anarchy is founded on Marxist principles" felt like a punch in the gut. Yikes!