Bill Burr - So, My Friends Wife Is Into Me (Oh Geez) 

Samir Schopenhauer called the moment after you climax the devils laughter because the devil laughs at the extent a man will go to, to fuck something.

100 percent correct sir!

you can not lost your best friends for these king sub women. your friends alway be with you becuse they are man and history show us men only stand in even any condtion even death comes please if you honest friends dont lost them.

you can not lost your best friends for these king sub women. your friends alway be with you becuse they are man and history show us men only stand in even any condtion even death comes please if you honest friends dont lost them.

Aglet Knight Huge truth. You ever think about doing something wrong or weird then rub one out and go “holy fuck what was I about to do”

Read this right when he said it lmao

He’s honest; the male sex drive will fuck you over. (And I love him for that. Not in a gay way.)

Reginald D Hunter said something similar ..’two spliffs and a wank before you leave the house, then you can go about your day’

You might think is a joke but rubbing one out has saved me from making so many stupid decisions is not even funny.

That's why I'm 23 single, didn't go to college, have 86k in my bank account, own 2 houses I'm renting out for passive income every month, all because I rub one out when I think of a girl.

#prettymuchyeah

Ty

Got it in one. This thread's over - I'll get the lights.

Lol

😂😂😂😂

I’m a handsome dude who has been fucking hot women all my life (honestly not bragging) and my #1 rule has always been don’t ever do that to a friend. I’m 31 today and still have all of my childhood friends simply due to loyalty. I’ve seen a lot of my “friends” screw over another friend of mine and then bragged to me about it. The next day I also would get rid of that friend. If you have a tight relationship with a few of your good dudes who are good people don’t screw them over. Don’t allow anyone in the friendship circle to do it to your other buddies either. The sooner you rid your life and social circle of snakes the better off you’ll be happy. I have ZERO tolerance towards disloyalty.

women? plural? Your buddy is a baller dawg.Even if I could manage to see more than one at a time at my age that kind of performance level will either make me ready for a marathon, or dead from a heart attack with a big grin. But ya, "Bros before hoes" as the saying goes.A brosef is for life, hoes come & go.You got to be grounded by people who know you & still care about you.

if your buddys woman has a tight body and a moist pussy then you would be diving in .

Its not

Yeah, there’s a difference between wanting a buddy’s woman and just finding them attractive for sure.

Thank you for commenting exactly what I was thinking lol

Sounds more like it’s his neighbour if anything

you can not lost your best friends for these king sub women. your friends alway be with you becuse they are man and history show us men only stand in even any condtion even death comes please if you honest friends dont lost them.

@ScAnDeLeZ yup

The guy's a straight up D-Bag. "I'll spare you the details" = I don't want you to tell me that I might be reading into things that aren't really there because I'm super into this girl. The fact that he's even presenting this scenario like it's "what should I do?????" shows how seriously he takes the other guy's friendship. If that was a real friend there wouldn't even be anything to write about.

hell yeah dude, you have a great attitude. buy yourself something really nice with all the money your saving from ditching that leech.

Give your toys to the less fortunate.. Your "friend" must suffer from "I can't see what could go wrong here?" His 3xs your money wont be shit once she drains his resources

Good riddance to bad rubbish

Critical thinking buddy, you gonna be better

I admire your outlook bro. I've been done less dirty and I'm still just as petty. I'm starting to realize forgiveness is freeing.

Ivana Ćoza I couldn’t agree more. There was nothing to spare because nothing happened.

Just like Bill said here. "How'd you know? Did she do the running man on your dick?" I feel like this hot married lady twerked on him one night and he's like oh boy here's my chance to steal my "buddy's" girl.

Every word is what I was thinking, man. Dead on.

Outstanding synopsis. I've read through a few comments and this is by far the most plausible.

It took a woman 👏👏👐

shariff ismail or double check your friend when he’s around your wife😂

It only helps

Angel Gd jesus kid, not everyone gets shot in the world. Especially in America. Calm down there, stop being so negative. Rub one out and hit the gym

Amen but naw I'm more into fitness big ass turbo under the hood of my car so I can smoke subarus

Duce Duce Magoo no, lots of lesbians, hence the nickname lesbaru. Also lots of asian drivers have been spotted.

Excatly. When a bro gets a girl that's not a bitch, I treat her like she's my sister.

You guys could be my bro's because thats how real bro's act

JBcoolbreez dude you don’t smash her and then you let your bro know...

@@Landsersajer No shit. That guy's an idiot.

I would probably tell my friend that she's a cheater, assuming he'd believe me

Best reply yet

Right

So sweet

Yeah and if she starts hitting on you start thinking it as if she was your girl hitting on your buddy put yourself in your buddy's shoes

True this,in my mind they become "non sexual" like a lamp or something.

But, getting laid is worth 10 points lmao

"I'll spare you the details" = "I don't want you to tell me I was grasping for signs that weren't there because I was hitting on my friend's wife." Fuck that guy.

Fucking pretty much. 😂

Just don't drink it.

The Manifest Mage Bill should put this one on a T shirt

Because nobody goes to the gym?

David Mayberry people that go to the gym don’t have to tell you they go to the gym. Plus, it’s Bill. Since when has he been a gym rat? Lol

@@kevinarzola4781 In my experience people that go to the gym want to tell everybody constantly that they go to the gym.

David Mayberry that’s more a douchebag thing though. I know a lot of people that are in great shape and go to gyms that have never told me they go to gyms. It either liars or guys that need validation that have to say it.

@@kevinarzola4781 right.....and don't you think that this guy seems like the douche bag type? I agree with you in principle, I wouldn't do it, I'm the score a touchdown handed the ball to ref kind of a guy, but there are plenty of people that make a huge production out of going top the gym and working out in general, and they talk about it regularly, and they'll always have to casually let everyone know that they're going to go to the gym after work, or come in with their gym clothes and then change into work clothes. I agree it's a douche move, but there's a LOT of douche bags in this world.

I rub one out before anything lmao

Doomed is a good way to put it

I've pulled some shitty things in my time, but pretending some guy was my 'buddy' while moving in on his wife is the lowest POS move ever. You choose your friends. And if you F them over, you're nothing.

He wants to avoid knowing he's a fucking shit friend, so he's trying to place the impetus on her. Seems like she wasn't really making advances.

@Porcelain Throne That's totally right, though. A lot of details about his "story" don't make sense. 1- "I learned that night that she was into me;" "She has had a lot of dodgy answers like, 'I'm perfectly happy in my relationship,' etc." There's details missing. They didn't make out or anything, what did she do? Cause I've got news for you, women have feelings for other men than the ones they're with, it just happens. So what vibes is this guy picking up on? 2- He's been friends with this guy for 12 years (since they were 14?) and he's less concerned about fucking up things with his friend. It doesn't sound like he's that close with his friend, obviously. In fact, his "buddy" went and got married while this guy is going to clubs and fucking around. Sounds like the friend is a responsible person, and he is not. There's things in both their lives that make them distant and I wonder: what really is the dynamic of their friendship? 3- "I was a bit overwhelmed and thrilled because I thought she was out of my league." Aha! This answers everything. If the writer thinks she's out of his league, how does that reflect on his friend? The wife is not out of that guy's league? We know the friend's probably more responsible than this guy because (i) he wants to get married and start a family, and (ii) he didn't go to that club -- work probably? So what's the deal with them? The writer has probably been envious of his "buddy" for the entire time they've been "friends." And now he's sniffing at his wife because she gave him just a little attention. In other words, he's just a bitchboy, an opportunistic parasite. I hope he slept with his "buddy's" wife so that this guy gets his ass beat. Maybe it'll make him to figure out what he wants in life -- but I doubt it.

And adds that they never kissed. This guy is delusional.

Yeah, her answers didn't sound dodgy to me... Sounded like "Nope!"

Yeah a lot of mentioning the answers to questions he should not have asked in the first place

you can not lost your best friends for these king sub women. your friends alway be with you becuse they are man and history show us men only stand in even any condtion even death comes please if you honest friends dont lost them.

@@gondaljarrat8864 bros over hoes

For the poon

Bros before hoes

Yeah he is wasting her time.

The guilt may last your lifetime.

Happend 2 me

Paul Hatton good plan! When I was a bit younger I fell for the pseudo advances of some scandalize hoes. You will only look like a desperate chump and won’t have her respect either. She will inform your “friend” about your loyalty as well. I have since developed confidence in finding my own interests. Without hesitation I pronounce bros before hoes, right to their face. If you want to be nice about just say this is not appropriate.

Accurate.

Well, my thoughts exactly, but I'm affraid it won't work with this guy. He's not in love her and neither does he idealize her, he just wants to bang her really bad and sees this as an opportunity of a lifetime, since she's everything he ever wanted on physical level. So I guess he might actually be secretly scared that she'll pick someone else over him if he doesn't take any action. That might be the real problem here and also the reason he'll eventually betray his friend, girfriend and fuck everything up.

Holy shit I knew a girl exactly like this. Was super flirty towards me when we first met. At the time she was in an on off relationship with a guy whom she would claim to love one day and then say she hated him the next. I eventually started to catch on to the fact that she was kind of a shitty person who sought out other guys just as a way to get back at her boyfriend and generally just avoid actually taking any action regarding their deteriorating relationship. I told a few mutual friends about it, and eventually called her out on it. She got pissed at me and immediately stopped the flirty behavior. Our friends sided with her about the whole issue. After that I didn’t see her for a few months, the next time I did was almost a year after I first met her. She was polite enough but no longer flirty towards me...and was instead flirting with another guy in our friend group. She was also still in the fucked up relationship from over a year earlier. At first I thought I was in the wrong for calling her out, and felt bad about it, but over time I’ve come to realize she’s the one in the wrong, and my friends were also shitty for not recognizing her toxic behavior.

Very true, he ain't they one she showing interest to

And they're all cousins.

s'fucked up....

Jesus...

That's fucked up

Damn makes me wanna stay single

@@kaiyol6160 black ops 4 is good but the model theyve been using is not sustainable unless they make changes and keep the series creative without mucking it up with monetization I don't see how they can keep the franchise going with the annual release model they've stuck with

Hey... as long as Bill is in the testimonials 🤷🏻‍♀️

When in doubt, rub one out

yeah, probably better than "rub one out on the dancefloor."

because of the oligarchy

because they only have movies nobody would pay for?

Now thats a dilemma!!

Netflix after 2014 sucks

Ghostbusters 2 didn’t do as well, much cheaper

Don't blow your money Count your its Keep

You are exactly right.

Some guy who hooked up with my ex was already dating someone. When he kept going after her when me and her started dating I found his gf on fb and told her. She didnt believe me lol. Was completely in denial

This is the only workable plan.

It actually is bcuz he obviously doesnt care about his gf. So he'll be the winner of the 4.

🤣

One feels so mellow afterwards.

@@ghostdog504ever Happened to me and after all the tough talk all I did was tell her to fuck off and hauled ass out. Can't say I wasn't borderline insane though.

I took her back and she did the same thing 2 weeks later. Do one of you mind shooting me in the face please?

@@rustyshackleford2234 well surly you've broken up with her for good this time right? if she's that that toxic then it's not even worth it to spend time thinking about her.

especially if she's hot, and used to basing her self-esteem on that attention, and perhaps not much else.

If we are hot, guys chase us whether we are in a relationship or not. That doesn't stop them. 😬

@@tjaspire although this is true, what SHOULD stop when you hot girls are in a relationship is you allowing men to chase you. So many attractive women take zero accountability when it comes to their loyalty in a relationship. Yes, dudes will always shoot their shot with hot women but if you don't instantly let it be known that you are taken and not interested, you are entertaining those advances and are not really loyal to your man. I had a girl like that and I told her that I would not tolerate her giggling and being receptive to men hitting on her. She tried to pull the "I can't control other men" bullshit and I told her that she CAN control how she reacted to those advances. She was shocked when I dumped her ass soon after when she didn't take me seriously on the subject. She tried promising me it would never happen again but I was already done. Those type of women are always for the streets. There is no point in having long term relationships with a woman who doesn't even understand the concept of loyalty.

stationary targets are never as satisfying as live ones