Breakups and dealing with heartbreak;Dr vundi speaks 

Who else is not 25 but loves this channel??? 🥰

Ivy unlocked a level of slay we weren't ready for

I was listening to a podcast the other day and someone said, “If someone who has the power to break you, chooses to do it, why would you want them to help build you back up?” I felt that. She also said about closure, “Do you not know how much pain you felt when they broke you? Why do you need them to tell you they hurt you? Why do you need them to give you permission to feel what you felt?” Leave people who break you alone and move on. Going back to them for anything never makes you hurt less. It would only make you hurt more. Loved this episode. 💜

Can we just appreciate how over 25’s fashion sense is always top notch every damn time😍y’all be looking GORGEOUS from the make up,hair,outfits weuh 🔥

One thing I wish I was taught is how to date, I wish I had a headstart from someone on how to do it, and how to cope with a breakup. Because they can be really messy. My last heartbreak made me leave the country because I thought that would help me deal more but the pain was still with me. That took me forever to heal, I'm glad by the time I came back to Kenya and saw him I was healed. Sending love to anyone going through heartbreaks. It gets better with the next partner, the love, the sex, the commitment the communication, It all gets better I promise. Just heal and take care of yourself. Hugs ❤️❤️

just ivy's dress is giving and LET ME TELL YOU i am ready to receive

If you're settling because you're lonely I think that's a self worth issue. I believe that once you have elevated your sense of self worth and you have decided what your standard is in regards to what you can or can't take, your biggest fear will be to be with someone who doesn't meet those standards. Not loneliness. Loneliness won't kill you but being in an unhappy relationship might. I say embrace loneliness & solitude. And when you're living as the elevated version of yourself believing that your person is out there somewhere and you're putting yourself out there with an open mind, not expecting that every date will turn into marriage, then you will meet a person who is as equally elevated in their mindset & standard. And you will know right away.

Having a close and a personal relationship with God is very important... Knowing That God Loves you and his love is sufficient that gives you inner peace that is unbreakable....when you see red flags from your partner and preparing yourself psychologically for anything without anticipation really helps....Just quit and leave for self worth ...avoid toxic relationship and individuals...your coping mechanism with be amazing

The part Jules talks about the loneliness that follows after a break up, I really just broke down 💔. Sending love to everyone experiencing the same, I pray for strength to us all as we navigate thru' this phase and that we may end up in better relationships with ourselves and with others as well.

I'd say self love in a relationship context can be, choosing to not compromise on your values and non-negotiables at the expense of being in the relationship. What you truly want that will make YOU happy and have peace with yourself. Basically catering to your self needs and not lying to yourself at the expense of "keeping" the relationship. Wanting what's best for YOU and choosing yourself. For example, personal boundaries in a relationship are a form of self love and if the boundaries are crossed/broken for instance, effecting consequences you set are also a form of self love. Basically staying true to your inner self.

In my opinion Moving on after breakup is a matter of decision. You decide to let go and you let go. This of course is easier if inner work is involved. Check your patterns and try to rectify any negative attachments, set standards, know who you are and what you want, love your self, etc Bytheway, the partners you have are a reflection of you. It starts with you. It ls a matter of knowing what you want. I agree healing is a journey no one can claim they are experts in love or relationships. We do it the best way we know how On self-love. The thoughts, feelings and behavior points are very enlightening. Julia says she does not know how to determine if she loves herself. Peharps you can consider some aspects like 1. how you feel when you are making a decision like going for a pricey vacation. Do you feel you are worth it? You deserve it? 2. When you wear a bodycon, what do you think about yourself in it. Do you say, I wish I was smaller here or bigger there? 3. When a mpenzi breaks his promise, do you feel it's okay despite maltrwating you or do you hold them accountable? 4. When your employer tells you to do something you do not want and you are not compensated for, do you still do it shingo upande or decline politely? 5. When you set self-care time are you likely to postpone it for something else like job? It is not set on stone, there many examples. Pick aspects of how you internalize yourself and relate with others. You will find some clues

Easy way to remember stages of grief(DABDA)....Denial Anger Bargain Depression Acceptance.

I am with Dr Vundi, if you are staying in a relationship, please seek help from an outsider like a therapist. Close friends and family carry your pain, they lose respect for your partner and your relationship.

Ivy is really feeling this topic. I like the way she tried to maintain and control her emotions. But as always she looks and sounds smart

Aah lonzie is always giving vybz with her outfits...love this channel, thank you for the conversations. Mondays are to look forward to because of yall

okay so the past two doctors have the most calming tones.. their voices are so chill. I like that :)

Self love also includes you allowing yourself to be loved without sabotaging it!

Did Ivy say she struggles with her wardrobe? Girl you are just fine. But your body is bodying for such fine fine things💖

Omg I saw the title and clicked.. commenting before I even watch coz I know it's exactly what I need to hear. This is so timely, as I'm currently going through a really bad break up. I'm in pain and struggling to see life without him. I cried in the shower today morning (it's been 2 weeks now and I'm still crying almost every day).. but after I finished, I somehow felt stronger; I asked God/universe to give me strength to keep going. And I know I'll be okay. If someone wants to walk away, you let them, as it means they were never for you in the first place, else they wouldn't have walked away... Alright enough ranting, let's get to the video now P.S you ladies look gorg as always 😍 #loveyour content

The shoe game on this episode!! Woooh chille! 🔥 🔥 🔥 thank you ladies

Lorna's and Shiku's shoes 🤩🤩 like wtf

Guys, the topic that would be suitable for this is self-care. We need this topic as a series.

Shikie always has show stopping fits. My own personal fashion icon ❤️

I think loneliness is a spiritual issue. It's a state of mind. No one can resolve loneliness even yourself. We need to build our relationship with God or whatever higher power you believe in. There's a void in all of us that only God can fill. IMO

Just as a point of feedback to Julia: please do not generalize your experience or let your experience become a standardized fact. I felt like the doctor would share her thoughts, and you would refute them profusely because it is not your experience. Inviting someone whose opinion you value also requires you to be OPEN to what they have to say. Being open to other possibilities is part of doing the work. Just my humble two cents. My love to you, ladies. This episode has me reflecting hard.

I was avoiding/dodging/procrastinating this episode for some strange reason as I didn't know how'd react cause everyone (friends) said it's triggering ....but I'm glad I've watched it...it's very enlightening...I'm glad I have some sought of amour moving on forward, to some extent ...I'm no longer afraid....Such an eye opening episode! Thanks girls

'You can't love yourself out of loneliness" , Dr. Vundi

Why are doctors so pretty and neat?

Hey 😉 shiks your listening skills are goals I love how she nods and waits turns to give her view... Loved the convo as always

I don't get why Ivy said she struggles with dressing up. She's always fly😍😍🔥!

Hey ladies, big fan here. I should mention that the set looked a lot better when you got the disruption, the chairs were slightly curved and it looked more conversational as opposed to the straight line of chairs that you usually do, if you could adopt this even when you’re 4 it would be good

100% behind Dr's statement, 52:28 "How you occupy space if you don't love yourself, is seen in your posture"

i feel comfortable just looking at Lorna's shoes

Loving yourself is complimenting yourself, is when you look yourself in the mirror and say "you've got this" and you really believe it. When you fail at something you don't bash yourself, say to yourself, "it's okay, we can try again tomorrow."

the biggest one is forgiving yourself...that is powerful. Then do better for yourself (walks, gym, eat better, family, friends, staycation or time away)

"Breaking up on Monday and you had plans on Wednesday..." 😂😂😂😂😂 wueeeh! Chest pains tu. Request : Could you please up the volume a bit? On phone with maxx volume it's still unaudible. You'd have to plug in earphones or stream from a device with louder volume capacity.

Wueh! Warembo wamepiga luku safi👌🏾🔥🔥. Necessary conversations💔, normalize mental health, appreciate Doc👏🏾👏🏾. As usual making my mondays🌞. Ivy water bottle😍. #mentalhealthmatters #heartbreakhotel

This whole episode was meant for just me😨… Also relating to Juls on so many levels🥵

mi personally i would say, i never shed a tear over a break up, because when i decide to leave, i would have already cried , self healed , got every answers that i need , so when i walk out, i go and NEVER COME BACK! took one of my exes a while to realize that, so he turned bitter , cos to him he could not understand how i coulda left, moved on and had a whole other relationship, within the same month . hunny inaitwa kujipanga , what he put me through 😂😂😂 chile i look back and just laugh at hus audacity to call me foul , yet he enjoyed tormenting me cos he though i would never leave ! now i look back and laugh and him trynna do the maths on how it was possible for me to move on soo quickly 😂😂😂😂 infact wacha niweke chai kwa moto ju i have to drink and laugh again. then there was my sister who suddenly becaome sick, her condition kept getting worse, chile my heart broke everyday and i used to cry everyday on her behalf and that of her children, then she died just recently, i cried i am hurt yes but not as bad as when i saw her suffer and the though of her dying broke my heart even before it happened. now that it has happened, its sad but it does not hurt as much. 🌈🕊

The 'with you' is always silent!

I feel like we all attended Julia's Therapy session with her.

i feel like I just wanna reach through the screen and hug Ivy🥺 Her demeanour is not okay today, na vile she looks so good.

The universe/God responds to your messaging/vibration. The hard part about growth, is practice and patience. I know you love Abraham Hicks so you probs know that we are constantly sending out messages that manifest into our reality. I think when you keep revisiting what wasn’t for you, regardless of how pacifying it is, you will live in that experience of lack, disappointment and stunted growth. Let what’s in the rear view mirror go, do some clearing of your energy including cutting cords with those past experiences and lastly, get super clear about what you want (be careful about sending mixed messages/vibrations because that’s what you’ll get). All the best!

I'm one person who believed that closure will give me peace but now how I view it is totally different.At the end of the conversation he'll still give you the same reason that you knew caused the heartbreak. Thanks for this conversation,it is an eye opener❤

what are you attracted to, triggers 😩😩😩 I always attract men who want me to provide. I want to be provided for too😪

Self love starts with self compassion instead of self criticism and treating that inner voice like your child because it is part of your inner child. I think it's also important to be alone and accept the emotions that come with heartbreak than rush to feel that space with the next or with your ex.

Loved this ladies!! wardrobe game is on 🔥 🔥🔥🔥 today! We need dr Vundi back with a ‘what is self love episode’ please & thankyouuuu❣️❣️

Woishe, is Ivy okay?❤

First of all, Dr. Vundi is gorgeous!

I would say one form of self love is boundaries.

Two. Thank you for this. But I'd like to talk about heartbreaks in platonic relationships. Friends can break you heart too.

About what Dr. Vundi said on not telling people ur business. I'd say it really depends because even in therapeutic interventions social support is key when it comes to alleviating the pain from said heartbreaks because some may have actually been caused by Death, Divorce and such. And so that it doesn't spiral into on-set depression, we need to have network of friends to help, as catharsis. We cannot all be waiting for the next therapy appointment really. It may end up creating a cycle of dependency and in other situations transference. Here the choice of friends you tell matter. Of course I'm not saying exposing a partners weaknesses or insecurities (addiction, illness, tough situation they are going through) that were told during times where they were vulnerable but the hurt from heartbreaks is what I'm talking about. Of course if you have friends who also maintain a level head and not just give blind loyalty they will look at the situation with compassion and objectively. Reason I say this, some here may be attached to partners who are aware that you don't share your relationship details with anyone and may end up leveraging this to perpetuate whatever form of abuse and/or injurious activity further. My advice overcome the shame from society's status quo and the pressure to maintain certain image or prestige, pick and choose what you tell friends obviously; but you are really in need of a support system - your friends, for some it's close family members - to help process these hurtful emotions.

When I'm questioning if I love myself or not at a particular time, I mostly ask myself if someone I loved was in that particular situation what would I do and what wouldn't I do, then I do that exact thing to myself and avoid what I wouldn't do. But if I'm being honest it's a whole struggle, some days you win at it others days, the self love situation ain't working at all

This episode was/is/ will be much needed. I don't want to be in a relationship "with you is silent"😭😭 the truth in this I keeeeent Looking gooooooooooooood as always🔥🔥💕

This is just what I needed to hear right now with everything going on in my life right now.Thanks so much guys❤️

I really enjoyed this episode, the approach and having Dr. with her skills and insight was great. On loneliness, as mentioned but slightly brushed over, you can be lonely in a relationship. So if in and out of one, you are experiencing that, then deeper work still has to be done. Finding ways to fulfill your life holistically without a relationship, is not easy but can be done. But I believe as long as having a 'man' is deemed as the ultimate goal it will always create that void. Hence it is good to answer the earlier question of what self-love is and what it looks like. I highly recommend Dr. Myles on this subject.

I loooove shikie's shoes khaii😍😍 and her fit too. Ivy your dress is😍. Dr. Vundi you are beautiful and your skin is lovely. This conversation is great

Randomly met Dr. Vundi and she's so lovely and kind. Love Over 25 forever. Thanks for the information.

True story. Never seek closure. It's an exercise in futility. Talking from experience.

Hear me out, Julia's outfit with Lornzie's shoes 😍

Trigger is more of undealt trauma that unearth every time we get to go through an unpleasant memory or experience. You ladies are serving looks and this is such an informative episode.

Loved this one please bring her back to tack about trauma;)

“I am sorry for accepting that bullshit” 😂😂😂🤣 That statement by JustIvy FINISHED me💀💀

Jules is right about closure. I always wonder why closure would be necessary because nothing that can be talked about can reverse the heartbreak. Closure is an event that forces one to relive the trauma of the heartbreak and allows room for more hurt to occur.

Dr. Vundi is talking to me direct.. I love it. Thank you for this ladies

Cannot wait to watch this after work

Gosh shikkie is looking like a super model in Milan ❤️❤️❤️.....giving chic😍 and edgy

I think self love is when you're keen on appreciating yourself like buying that shoe you always wanted, taking yourself out on dates, being honest and aware of feelings and accepting less !

Omg , watching this episode , MADE ME realise my heartbreak , made me have few weeks of I don't want to date anymore, then I rebounded , then I went back to the ex knowingly I we will not have future plans ... Oh GOD its this complicated

Woow the right message for the new week.. Notification gang

@Lornzie and Shikie's fashion sense 💯

Ivy's dress🔥🔥🔥 Shikie's blazers and boots 🔥🔥🔥...great topic❤️

This conversation revolved between julie and dr Vundi. Enough therapy for the week

I just love everything about this awesome session 😌.

I understand julias questions completely. Self love can be a vague concept to understand

What an eye opening discussion 💯 pls share Dr Vundi's contacts. Y'all look gorgeous btw😍

Very informative session...thank you Dr. Vundi and Over25 team

U guys are crying 🥺🥺 daymn this episode is so real

But I have been watching this show ever since inception ...I dont think if I date Jules the conversation will rotate around "what's your favorite color" 😆 ...problem am a Ugandan, we calm soft 🤣

This episode...🙌🏾💯 very raw and insightful

Very informative episode though i would have loved to hear more from Dr. Vundi. I love Julia's passion but i wish she toned it down today so Dr. Vundi could have more airtime to focus on other appoaches apart from Julia's experiences.

The Burial! I know if I ever get divorced(dear lawd forbid) I always told myself that I'll do a burial. Get a few of his shirts/clothes, a picture of a memory and I'll dress in black with a whole playlist and mourn the loss of a good thing....otherwise I don't know how I can survive there after weeeee

This is a topic that we run away from. Thanks or addressing it. I had it on watch later for a while.

@Jules Selflove is putting yourself and and your needs first and not sacrificing your own needs to please others. Without self love it's hard to love others,it's always said that you can never pour from an empty cup. Self love is developed when you start being kind to yourself and when you give up the need for approval from others.

Ivy is beautiful and the outfit is so pretty on her

I feel like our lifestyles as Africans don't need so much religious spiritual practices like using crystals, meditating, burning sage, doing yoga etc...and most of those western practices we try to copy. I feel like life in the western world is usually very mentally draining so they try to look for practices to find inner peace, i feel like us as Africans we live very chill lives so we don't really need such things.

I didn't know how much I needed this

Wow, so helpful information. I have really enjoyed listening to this.

Yoh, the first step to healing from a 💔 is being honest with yourself. Hard truth

Sending hugs to Ivy❤❤, you don't seem okay today😕

Weee I dated a guy when I got pregnant of him he said forget weddings and he knew how much I love weddings ...weeeee it ended soo badly but I thank God it ended.

This episode was IT ......for me so much info from genuine ladies with experience.....@Jules don't stop being REAL and You.......and @Lornzie 💕

THIS IS REALLY REALLY GOOD!i’ve learnt a lot

This was a really good video, I didn't want it to end!

Wueh! But heartbreak from a romantic relationship has nothing on a family heartbreak. 😔

Been watching this channel like forever. So giving😍

Loved this discussion. Eisshh ..ladies you are looking beautiful and smart!!

All of you look breathtaking Omg ❤️❤️

What a way to start the week 🔥. Hi ladies!!! Shikie looking glamorous 🔥. Grabbing my coffee, let's start. I love your conversations,they are always educative and fun. I always like immediately the videos starts.

Mnakaa Poa . 🥺. I’m about to dress up for no reason 😭.