Brother’s Wife Is Hiding His Raging Alcoholism (Should I Step In?)

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Brother’s Wife Is Hiding His Raging Alcoholism (Should I Step In?)
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Опубликовано:

13 дек 2021

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Комментарии : 43

@bethanyboothe4817 2 года назад

One of the best lines I’ve ever heard about parenthood….My job as a parent is to not give my kids a childhood they have to recover from. I’ve never forgotten that.

@user-do2ev2hr7h Месяц назад

This is a "not your circus, not your monkeys" situation. Unless someone directly involved asks for help, there's nothing you can do so the best thing is to just set your own boundaries and act accordingly.

@rochelle-xz8gl Месяц назад

The callers number one priority is to protect her family. She needs to cut off all communication with her drunken brother.

@kiersting5005 2 года назад

I was one of those “kids.” This hit so hard. It comes to light eventually. It always does.

@Cathy-xi8cb 2 года назад

Almost every spouse feels some sense of shame, helplessness, and fear when their partner is an alcoholic. Hiding the situation from others is part of this.

@natalata1435 2 года назад

💔💔💔💔 The only thing that I'm glad about is that her niece's/nephew's are grown enough to leave. The sad part is that they've seen this behavior growing up so now we wait and see if the nephew's end up being just like their dad or if the daughters end being with a man just like their dad. I pray they break the cycle for their own children and future family. 😔

@catherinenelson4162 2 года назад

There's a saying that goes "The people who live with an alchoholic are as ill as the alcholholic." I think the term "disfunctional" might be just as appropriate.

@tilicia 7 дней назад

Ah this hit home. Not having unspoken words. I had an intervention with my 69 year old dad today about his depression and suicide comments. It. Was. Hard. Emotionally and physically draining. But I got him an appointment and he agreed to go to the doctor in 2 days.

@stellarocquie7957 2 года назад

JOHN, STOP INTERRUPTING THE CALLER!

@Pizzageek-jc4xp 3 месяца назад

But when he gives her the advice she needs, it's just spot on.

@norse_cat 6 месяцев назад

This call kind of hurt my soul. My dad, his dad (my grandpa), his brother (my uncle) all died way too young from alcoholism. No one stepped in. He passed when I was 23, I think? Maybe 22. I kept hoping someone would do something but then it was too late. I feel guilty not doing more myself, but I was really immature back then. The legacy of alcohol is all on that side of the family. My half sisters, nephew, cousins, etc. all have drinking issues. It’s sad.

@adeleb1010 Месяц назад

The only one that can do something is the alcoholic

@dtschuor459 13 дней назад

Stepping in and fixing the situation is a fantasy that we all have. The reality is, the person with the substance abuse problem is the only one who can stop the drinking. If they choose not to do so, the other members must choose their actions accordingly. There are support groups that can help the injured family members. Don’t feel guilt for something you did not have the power to fix. DO seek help for resolving your own feelings about the situation. Those are the bricks you need to remove from your backpack… good luck to you.☮️💜

@lisas5346 12 дней назад

My husband was sober when we met. We got married 2 1/2 years later and a little over year after we got married he started drinking. I told his family as soon as I knew. He finally stopped 2 months later. They weren’t much help, so when he started drinking again in 2022 I didn’t tell any of them and just handled it myself.

@kitchensink7345 6 дней назад

My wife is 40 and our daughter is 3, after the last two years of my wife drinking everyday and not coming home until 2,3,4 am, I reached out to her dad and brother, they did nothing and drink when she’s around and won’t even talk to her about it.

@skincareceo 2 года назад

John, let them talk. You always cut them off in the beginning. Very amateurish .

@chavezunseen 2 года назад

Dude I know right?? Really aggravating he needs to switch his flow

@MC-xp6pc 2 года назад

I agree, but I think it’s his way of breaking the ice. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@morgandawn6413 2 года назад

As an adult child of an abusive alcoholic mother and a father who did nothing to protect me from a family system that alienated me.... all I can say is God bless these kids. They're signed up for a life of pain and there's nothing they can do to ever be fully free from it.

@salma_Nella22 Год назад

Im sorry that you lived through that

@prestonthomas5399 10 месяцев назад

Its not likely but they can overcome it and be whole. Odds not in their favor but possible.

@tashasmith1743 2 года назад

Old man Dr. D you are wise and real! So appreciate you!

@alexrossi4464 12 дней назад

At 61 years of age, he's likely not gonna change, suddenly. And how much longer is he gonna live 70? I would get on with my own life. He's almost a senior!

@Varsagod-lx9ub 4 месяца назад

I left my home in my early 20's due to an abusive parent. It's harder financially but you can make it with roommates, avoiding unnecessary debt, and working whatever job will pay the bills while you climb the ladder to where you want to be.

@Thesussysuscat 2 года назад

He said the holiday is blown up and she said yeah since covid ........ no the family unit blew it up

@UnAnonKnown 2 года назад

Just because they're in their early 20s doesn't make them "adults" when it comes to things like this. Even if they could financially afford college and rent (A hard no in America), it doesn't mean they have an adult capacity to deal with this situation. In fact, few people ever do. Have they ever seen a normal, healthy relationship or do they only know what they know? Are they still youthfully naive and hoping they can save dad? Are they afraid for mom if they leave? Do they know that if they leave, what comes next isn't their fault? Do they know they deserve better or did dad emotionally abuse them until they thought this was all they deserve? Just because they're over 20 doesn't mean they're adult enough to deal with this. They are likely emotionally shackled - and it takes decades for kids to break parental shackles like these - usually with a fair bit of trauma involved before they can. If you want to be there for them then do it - don't write them off because they hit an age.

@user-do2ev2hr7h Месяц назад

I don't think he's saying they have good choices, but they do have choices. That's life.

@kmchugh8273 2 года назад

Surprised he didn't recommend Al Anon.

@suek7086 2 года назад

AlAnon save my life as well as my husbands life.

@anncassidy3705 17 дней назад

Why are you worried about the wife? She should have taken those kids and left years ago.

@carolynthornber748 Месяц назад

They could have all the conversations they wanted and it probs wouldn't have stopped him drinking , I just know from experience , I just feel for his kids and wife and also the lovely sister who rang in , I hope she can get through to her brother and get him into rehab with his permission , but I'm not hopeful ( sorry ) I hope I'm wrong 🙏

@ithinkigottalent4047 2 года назад

She's bored. That's his life and his choice. His wife can leave if she wants to.

@ga6589 2 года назад

The wife might not think she can afford to leave or divorce him, we don't know all the particulars. If he's been gaslighting her for many years, dishing out emotional abuse, she may have started to believe the things he tells her. For her, it's been easier to stay in a misery she knows, rather than face the uncertainty of being on her own. My sister is in a similar situation- no kids, thankfully. She's been the primary breadwinner for a long time. In a community property state, it's all divided equally- including her pension. I understand her fears, but I've told her time and again that her own sanity is stake if she continues to stay with him. My words fall on deaf ears.

@catherinenelson4162 2 года назад

I don't think so. I think she either had other things on her plate or she was in denial. And that's hugely different from being bored and wanting a "project".

@musicneutral233 2 года назад

What a cold response, if my brother was self destructing I would try to save him, but that's because I love him. If I didn't love him I would be like "yeah, his life, his choice".

@skincareceo 2 года назад

I agree. Thus is a lifelong thing and the sister is still dealing with it?

@skincareceo 2 года назад

@@musicneutral233 you can't save addicts when they don't want to save themselves.

@hansonallie 2 года назад

Wait the kids are all in their 20’s & still in the home? Maybe time to change that up…

@meximami3494 2 года назад

Maybe they live their still to protect their mom.

@victorialarowe4980 2 года назад

This is way easier said than done nowadays depending on where you live. Rent is absolutely crazy where my husband and I live. We absolutely do not want to be living with my in laws, but many jobs in the area, salaried especially won’t even take my husband on until he’s 21. Doesn’t matter he has a consistent track record of five years of employment with no gaps - doesn’t matter he has a family of his own to provide for. It is not the same as it once used to be. My cousins and I are all working our butts off to move out of other peoples houses - the two things above are strangling our efforts as hard as we try. We will never stop trying, but it is certainly easier said than done.

@murdahmammiez Месяц назад

Why would u want to send ur kids off to struggle when they are studying to get a good income n good life. Keep ur kids home til they are financially responsable n mature enough