Which block resonated the most with you? What have your experiences been with emotional resilience and fluency? For more tips on overcoming these blocks, download the guide here: www.terricole.com/how-to-build-emotional-resiliency-guide
The realisation that I have been only half present in a lot of situations because of anticipatory anxiety is a revelation to me and makes so much sense now. I have been labelled as anti social in the past because of how much I dread hosting social events but can now understand why I did. I was always fine hosting social events for kids but the adult ones always really stressed me out. Now I understand. Thank you Terri. Xx❤
Thank you, this is timely. I’ve been using the feeling wheel with journaling every day for several weeks. I seem to be mostly in fear and sadness quadrants, but I have noticed when I get aggressive or have seething anger underneath, it’s because of my overwhelming fear of not being able to fix a situation that I find threatening. Then I flip to shame over my anger and start spiritual bypassing behaviors to try to be a better person. Awareness is grace and you really help clarify what is going on.🙏🏻
Wow, what a powerful realization to have 💕 Self-awareness is so key! And having been there myself, I feel you on that. You might want to check out the other two recent vids I did on high-functioning codependence for more: part 1, ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-JqdCXjxM7MQ.html and part 2, ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-bPSNBn_V9vM.html
Very relatable and eye opening. Anticipatory anxiety/ hyper vigilance of other's emotions kept me 'safe' when I was younger but I don't have to do that anymore. It is hard to change. To be honest it makes me sad to think about how regularly I am living on "life light" and it makes me really emotional. I don't want to miss out on my life :(. I know I have a lot of emotional 'backlog'. I used to say that I put all my uncomfortable feelings/memories in a lockbox, but now it is full to bursting and my goal is to acknowledge and try to feel my feelings instead of staying in old patterns and numbing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for these videos, Terri.
Block 2, with your descriptions, resonated strongly with me. At age 72, through therapy, I’m finding out that I’m highly co-dependent. Yes to your description of being half-present, avoiding conflict, living life light. Trying to please everyone. Now, to learn to live life fully; to struggle every day to be my authentic self. So glad I came across your videos; thank you!
I am noticing that I have done anticipatory anxiety for the longest time and to name this help me to recognize it when I am in that. That helps Also learning about anger often being a smoke screen is interesting. I will be open to see what is underneath. I am always learning something Thank you so much
Terry, I'm so glad that your book translated and I can read your book. Your book helped me a lot to know myself. All your videos are very valuable to me. Thank you for all your videos,posts,notes😘
I loved this episode! I do wish you’d do a part 2 and explain exactly what you are doing to connect to your emotions. HOW? Excellent info today and as always, I love your soothing voice:)
So glad you enjoyed it ❤ I have tips in the guide, but I recommend to just start checking in with yourself a few times a day. Ask yourself how you're feeling or what you need. See what comes up. It takes a lot of time to tune in and sense these things when we've been taught NOT to most of our lives, but it is possible. Sometimes, looking at what is called a "feelings wheel" can be helpful in selecting an emotion that resonates. I also love morning pages - freestyle journaling - from Julia Cameron, as a self-discovery tool. ❤
Thank you Terri, you are giving us the words to name our experiences and feelings so we are able to talk about them or sometimes get our voice back! Your presence here is invaluable, have a lovely day!
Thank you so much! You really helped me understand my anger, I was always to thoughtful around others that if I didn't get the same I would feel angry. I didn't know how to express my needs and wanted people to read my mind, I though my problem was with my anger but deepdown I felt underappreciated, unseen and unworthy. I didn't know what to do with that hurt or maybe because I felt that too much I didn't think that was a problem. I think if I can build myself to see myself worthy I would express myself more and don't feel this way
I’ll have to watch this one a few more times to see which block. But, this very day I had a huge trigger and watched my level of resilience. Not very resilient, but I’ll tell you how I resolved it. I had written a couple replies on private messaging. Then that didn’t set well with me, so deleted then posted another. She posted back in a way that triggered me a little, again. Then I again. Then she ended with ‘have a blessed day.’ I had remembered something you had said before, about how we really just want to, need to, connect. After a little banter, and feeling how it felt after I threw one, I felt to mature would be the solution, so I wrote back that I felt saddened and I would prefer to connect. Thanks again for all the work you do. Can’t wait for your new book- and I’ll get for my friends.
Learning the difference between feeling and sensing others was for me a biggggy❤and feeling the internal universe became the best adventure ever🎉thank you
Thank you, you do add value! I'm always hurt & some anger but mostly hurt. People don't say that hurt, maybe it's perceived as childish for adults to say? I don't say it as I never hear a woman say I'm hurt. 😢
That's an interesting point, thank you for sharing ❤️ I think it's all about learning how to talk true for ourselves, because then we can be authentically seen and known. If someone thinks it is childish for an adult to be hurt, that is on their side of the street and not for you to carry. ❤️
Another great episode! I need to start loving myself more and let go of worrying abiut what my family thinks of me! I always thought they looked down on me and judged me - - Slowly I an not overplanning my family visits. I am learning to love myself and know what triggers me. This episode really hit me - - self compassion!! I am a bit hooked on dating reality shows - - I ama ware of this and need to cut down on it. I am a work in progress. Thanks again for helping me learn abiout me
I’m currently going through an ego death phase that was triggered by marital problems. This situation has forced me to take a deeper look within myself and also for once in my life to live in my shit as opposed to self soothing through drugs,alcohol,or sex. This channel provides so many tools that help me to deal with what’s currently happening around me. 🙏🏾
Thank you so much for this Terri. My go to emotion was always anger as growing up in my dysfunctional family anything resembling vulnerability ie hurt,sadness etc was ridiculed and not accepted. It took a long time to feel the hurt under the anger and an even longer time to acknowledge it openly. But it has been a game changer.❤
Yes...this vlog just popped up and I am here for it. Related to almost all your points esp anticipatory anxiety. I'm glad this popped up and will be taking notes!❤
So glad it resonated ❤️ I recommend checking out my other two recent videos about high-functioning codependency: the high price we pay (ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-JqdCXjxM7MQ.html) and liberating yourself from over-giving (ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-bPSNBn_V9vM.html)
I appreciate the info but would love to hear your thoughts on the benefits of sitting with the emotional discomfort as a means to build resiliency. Many of us have problems identifying and then processing the uncomfortable emotions. I believe the emotional discomfort in my body is what drives incessant worried thoughts. It becomes a loop. Have you delved into somatic theories and techniques to help your audience/clients?
Yes, sitting with the discomfort helps to build emotional fluency and helps you to understand better what you’re feeling. When it comes to processing these feelings somatically, there are many options and it depends on what you’re needing to process (meaning, trauma can often be effectively processed through techniques like EMDR, whereas processing other feelings can be effectively processed through things like somatic experiencing). I would recommend looking into the Tapping Method for these “incessant worried thoughts”. I recommend this to a lot of clients, as it’s very helpful for tapping through anxiety and helping you to sit with what you’re feeling in a way that also helps you to move through it. Jessica Ortner is the go-to person for this, and she has many videos you should check out! Hope that helps ❤️
Thanks for your shout out a while ago/I always benefit and have grown from your education and advice on this platform; appreciate you/remain blessed! 🤗
Hi Terri, I've only just found your channel but I'm already hooked!! Im currently struggling with boundaries, expressing my needs and communication during conflict with my partner. Your videos have felt like a lifeline in a time of turmoil and your clarity has really helped me to identify my own emotions and needs. Thank you so much for your content ❤😊 Well, you couldve been talking about me in that episode. Ive always known I dont just feel my emotions. Its draining!! Lol
It is draining, and you are so not alone. ❤️ I have a video about communication during conflict here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-xpkjFkhK6tg.html I sometimes recommend taking a break to write down what you're feeling, as that can help process things more than being put on the spot to respond immediately.
Im not sure when I signed up to receive emails from you but this topic interested me. I am going to subcribe and watch your previous videos. I think they will help me immensely. Thank you.
Thank you for this I received your email and I listened I'm at work and I expressed to someone one I feel a way and lots of it is not my own issues and I love people and and I want all to be ok and my adult children my marriage and my relationship with God and I see every one enjoying and I feel like I have to pray all the time I would like to listen to a secular song but I feel God doesn't like that I don't know what I'm feeling
Hi I really really appreciate your videos. I have a question what video should I watch to no how to deal with my wife telling me I didn't raise my son to be a man I have been in his life always he is 20 years old and is not doing well in school I raise him to the best of my ability please help me Thank you in advance.
Hi there, I don't talk much about raising kids on my channel so I don't have a recommendation for you, but I recommend checking out the work of Dr. Shefali, Dr. Becky, and Jo Frost ❤️
