Can people CHANGE?: understanding radical transformation 

As a psychologist, I'm often asked the question as to whether people can change. And since people are always in a constant state of change, I take this question to mean: "is radical personality transformation possible?" And my answer is: yes! However, it is typically only possible once people hit bottom. In today's episode, I make the case that my favorite musical, "Les Miserables," is actually a protracted examination of this question. Is Valjean's transformation legitimate, or will he forever be Javert's escaped convict, 24601? Let's take a look. "Valjean's Soliloquy": ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-pJx1pRCey78.html "The Confrontation": ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-9jfRE_FljrE.html "Stars": ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-dfoJEYicu7c.html "Javert's Suicide": ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-IsZdfna1LKA.html Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WrXBzQ2HDEQ.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: ru-vid.com/show-UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #lesmiserables #transformation

As for men, usually two events can trigger a massive personality change, apart from a near-death experience: losing a fist fight and getting their heart broken.

There is no Saint without a past and no Sinner without a future

People only change when they have to and on their time. Do NOT ever place your happiness or well-being in the hands of someone else's ability to change for the better.

_"You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start now and change the ending"_

Either hitting rock bottom or simply taking responsibility. Anybody who takes full responsibility and accountability for their actions (that have caused themselves and others suffering) will change.

Change is difficult because every time you do something you are technically practicing it whether it is intentional or not. You are reinforcing the neurons which perform that task and embedding it into the subconscious. Change requires repetitive conscious effort outcompeting ingrained subconscious behavior whether the behavior is thoughts or actions. Change is easiest when the motivation for it becomes more uncomfortable than the conscious effort required to initiate and sustain it which is typically why telling someone to do something you perceive as beneficial to them works less than letting them suffer the consequences of their current behavior. Unfortunately many times when you reach the point of suffering consequences that make you want to change, those consequences have already made irreversible impacts on your life.

Pain is a great motivator, usually people get to a point when the pain is too great that you have no other choice but to trudge a different path

The two devastating statements in this video that jerked my tears are: 1) the "you're not fooling anybody: once a depressive always a depressive" self-destructive monologue, and 2) Javer getting "ensnared" in his own absolutist worldview which then destroyed him. Every morning I battle the demon of the old consciousness I used to have. It is revived by sleep after I'd successfully defeated it the day before. Every morning it comes back to life, and I replace it manually with the new consciousness I've built via mental/emotional work. I'm winning this battle specifically because I realized that by having previously convinced my nervous system that "the truth is the truth and I mustn't shy away from it," I mistakenly trained my nervous system to refuse any change and call it a hoax because "once a depressive always a depressive." By combating this pitfall, I dodge the ensnarement of my own outdated absolutist worldview, and this leads you to realize that WE ONLY HOLD ONTO THOSE LIMITING BELIEFS OUT OF EGO, OUR EGO IS UPSET AND IT USES THAT BULLSHIT AS A WARM BLANKET OF SELF-PITY. No more. I value my happiness and progress more than I enjoy self-pity now, I'm shedding this pathetic coating off of me. I'm looking forward to the warm blanket of love, instead.

Frued said, "People do not change. They only become more of what they are." I believe he was correct in his analysis.

There are a handful of RU-vid channels which make quality content right when you need it. This is one of them. Thanks, Dr. Taraban.

For me, change meant taking ownership of my self and not lay blame on others. Thank you so much.

All I can say is , as someone diagnosed with BPD at 22… it takes a lot of effort and intention to change… at 44 years old I am much more stable and consistent… whether it would have happened anyway due to aging and maturity, I’ll never know… but it feels much better to be stable than up and down and all over the place

I'm a very, very different person in 2023 than I was in 2000. Most of the changes came from life experience, hard times, education and personal growth.

I changed myself radically. When I was about 12 I had this realization which was my first experience of enlightenment. The realization is that I had been lead to believe false things. This lead to question my entire reality. I started deconstructing my reality completely, until I was staring into the empty abyss of consciousness without a constructed reality. I sacrificed everything. No identity, no beliefs, just unconstructed reality. For a long time I didn't know what to do, and found myself in a situation where everything I constructed would simply deconstruct back to this empty consciousness. Eventually I realized that my true self was never what I constructed, but I am the abyss.

I find the people around you can often be the biggest barrier to change.

I agree! All people change by getting more entrenched in their ways and habits tending towards entropy. Trauma and crisis changed people for the better or worse.

I believe that change only comes with a true sense of awareness of self. for most part of our lives, we are led by instilled curiosity, environments and people and thus, we get lost in the chaos of externalities. when we decide that that's not who we are or want to be, we change, and that is what's important: the decision to change. whether we have been in the habit of smoking for a decade or we have been communicating poorly since we were a kid, the moment we decide to take control of ourselves and be someone we are proud of, we change. the process of this promised evolution also promises self-trust. I think in the end, it's not about who we have been or what we tell ourselves we are or what we are perceived as; if we want to be better, we should be better. that's all. remember, this is your life, and you decide who you want to be, regardless of a stubborn subconscious and a world ready to guilt you. "i dont like who i am" is a well enough reason to change.

How is this not the most popular channel on yt? Dr. Taraban ingeniously weaves literature and history with psychology and self-improvement. For men who need direction, insight, and growth these videos offer a more wholesome perspective and rebutts the current manosphere trend that is short-sighted and dangerous

Probably one of the best episodes on this channel. Thank you.

As a recovering addict, this really hits home. Excellent breakdown of the story. I needed to hear this, thank you

Wow Orion, you're incredibly smart, witty & genuine. Love your content, these words need to be spoken 🙏

Seen plenty of your videos lately, but this may be the best one. The literature references are priceless. Read all dostoyevski and les mis was one of the few books that manage to resonate so profoundly to make me sick to my stomach in some parts. Great stuff

Every time I think you couldn't be more brilliant...I watch another one of your shows..WOW! I never thought of Les Mis like this. I always saw it as an allegory but DANG! The old testament and the new one..wow you BOOM! blew my mind!! GENIUS!

Im a recovering addict with 8 years clean. I can attest to hitting bottom being a catalyst fir radical change. Im so very greatfull for everything my life has become. Thanks for this great content.

Dr. Taraban, I am so impressed with your analysis - chapeau bas!

Incredible movie, I don't even remember how many times I watched it. Your investigation made me understand the psychological conflicts behind the story much clearer. This is one of the best video from you imo.

Wonderful dramatic description of the story. Now, I want to see the musical. Thank you.

I have watched many of your videos and think that this is unequivocally the best one that you have made and may ever make.

What a fantastic analysis of a classical work. I thoroughly enjoyed this and was quite moved

I came here for relationship advice but didn't expect a wonderful philosophical argument! Fantastic!

Welcome back to English class bois

This was an absolute masterpiece.

You post, I watch. We got a good thing going doc! ⭐️

Fabulous analysis of Les Misérables. Victor Hugo has long been one of my favorite heros of social change and it was a very personal and spiritual moment for me to visit his tomb in the Panthéon. However, I never got past the first 50 pages of the first book of Les Misérables (in French). Your brilliant analysis has inspired me to return to that task once again and learn first hand all he has to teach. Thank you.

Good morning. You are so right on this issue of change. I wish I would have found your videos many years ago. Thank you for your videos I will be sharing with many friends

Holy shit, this was so well articulated, You have a gift doctor, please never stop making videos. Thank you.

"There's nowhere you can hide, Spartan. Put as much distance between you and the truth as you want; it changes nothing. Pretend to be everything you're not: teacher, husband, [thunder], father but there's ONE, UNAVOIDABLE thruth you will never escape. You will ALWAYS be A MONSTER." "I know [dramatic pause with single tear trickling down the cheek] but I'm your monster NO LONGER"

The vast majority of people don't change, they just get better at hiding who they truly are.

An amazing book to reference. One of the all time favorites. Didn’t know about the musical. Thank you

Thank you for releasing these videos in the morning just in time for my morning coffee :)

Fantastic video Orion, just what l needed to hear at this moment in my life 🙏

Helpful for me as I feel I recently made a misstep in the person I’m trying to become. My inclination in this error was (should I even admit: is) to take a step back towards one of non-redemption. Yet, I realize that the direction I have been striving is an act of will and there’s upkeep involved to not slide into such a trap! Bravo.

I remember my Mom and I going to this. Really the only musical I’ve ever been excited for, really great story.

I truly enjoyed the reference to some of the greatest works of art of one of the greatest writers. I'd like to see more of that in your next content. Thank you

Most people don’t change unless the pain of status quo exceeds that of the change. Radical transformation comes with radical change only. I made a radical change after divorce and bankruptcy after hitting rock bottom. Today I’m even more successful then I have ever been. I made a radical change for one yr after hitting rock bottom waiting up 3am for one yr eating healthy and being in solitude.

Amazing video about transformation linked to one my favorite literature masterpieces, keep up the good work

This was deep and insightful, for Les Mis' and as a psychology lesson. Although I feel the Les Mis' tragic finally is a somber almost "hope-killing" note to end with, I appreciate the analogy. Nicely done sir! (FYI: just celebrated 9 years of sobriety after hitting 'the bottom' 9 years ago - and this lecture sings with truth in my experiences.)

Bro , you are a natural at this . I enjoy every video . Thanks for bringing knowledge And wisdom to the people. 👌🏿

Here is a question to everyone: if somebody good becomes bad, does that always make them a bad person? Wouldnt their "real" self be a good person who just made a mistake? It seems like it only goes one way. If you do bad then you're always a bad person even if you change. What about the ofher way around? Once a good person always a good person?

Amazing perspective!Thank you so much.

This was better than Sunday sermon. Thank you!!

Amazing episode, Doc. Your best!

Bravo! This one was awesome. Very well done. Now I have to watch the play (will probably find a movie).

This story is formidable. I read it as a kid and honestly did not garner the deep philosophical underpinnings of it. Thanks for recommending this, I'll be sure to give it another read!

Fantastic video and analysis! The characters' names are pure genius! My favorite video so far! 😊 I loved the longer video this time. Please make more videos like this! I suggest an analysis of Phantom of the Opera! 😊

Good video. Crime and Punishment is another good book with similar themes, I personally found it to be an easier read.

Very astute and interesting. I've noticed that 'narrative identity' shift is crucial for real change, as you describe through the story of Les Mis. Allowing ourselves to move beyond the self-imposed boundaries of the finite games we choose to play, which we mistake to be ourselves.

This is the best one, I think, so far. Thank you!

Great break down! I’m already les miserables hearing how it goes down

Wonderful analysis of the story and the musical. I love both. I think every man has some of Jean’s spirit in him. Change is always possible with some hope and determination. I’ve been fighting my own demons for a long time. Haven’t beat everything yet but made a few gains here and there 😂

Change is harder when I’m this comfy living with my parents. Why change when I am taken care of? Food to eat, a place to sleep, complimentary car and car maintenance, most bills take care of… yeah. But I am in my mid twenties now. I don’t want to still be here at 30, so if I want to be elsewhere by then, I need to take full responsibility for moving my life in a direction I will be okay with.

Dr. Orion, This was beautiful 🎉

The part about admitting your former self is crucial. Thank you for your videos.

I think the core essence of a person does not change, e.g. optimistic, pessimistic, extrovert, introvert, neurotic, etc. But I think you can slightly change within your limits, e.g. someone slightly pessimistic / introverted, can become more pessimistic / introverted after a bad divorce, etc. I think there is a lot of truth to "a leopard never changes its spots".

That was amazing never understood the story that deeply before thank you.

Mahn you have such a unique way of conveying information..❤

I have to say, best video by far

just order your book. thank you as always. greetings from Brazil 👍

You can change by changing your environment: different job, in a different city, among different people. If possible in a different language, culture, climate, and social level. Humans adapt to their environment.

Les Mis is my favorite musical too. How all the characters intertwine and their different personalities move them forward in the story is fascinating. I've seen this show in various professional productions over 100 times and each time I gain a new insight into one or more of the characters. It would be awesome to go with the Les Mis theme and examine the interplay of other characters in the story.

youre gonna be at a mil subs no time lol knew it from soon as i found this channel whenever that was. you're putting out gold.

love how you’ve started to integrate long form content into the pipeline

In the book Breaking the Habit of Being yourself Joe Dispenza explains why it is so hard to change. We form neural circuits in our early years which become “hard wired” in our brains - it is actually an observable phenomenon under fMRIs. So, when you try to change, you are up against this physical neural pathway in your brain. That’s why it’s so hard, according to Dispenza.

As always in your vids, you are great at analysis, and saying, "this is the way things are," and not so great at the HOW. A super intellectual analysis of Les Mis characters. But not much about HOW to change, other than saying one must hit bottom. This is sometimes true, but often not true and is almost a cliche. But I guess when it comes to the HOW is when you suggest we schedule a consultation with you. There was an exception to your overall tendency to tell us about the harsh reality of the way things are and then not tell us what we can DO about that harsh reality. And that was your video on handling rejection. It was still mostly analysis instead of giving a HOW, but it did offer a specific strategy: treat approaching women as you would a tennis game. That was a good video and did not just leave us hanging with your insightful analysis as the end point. I would like to see more like it.

Very touching and insightful.

Great explanation of les mis, thank you!

Absolute banger video. High level literature philosophy and psych verbal essay

Please do more commentaries like this.

This video made me want to read Les Miserables for the first time in my 41 years. Thank you!

I'm new here, really enjoying the content being a bit of a psych junkie. Thanks!

A lot of comments from people saying they are totally different people than they use to be. I wonder if the people in their lives feel the same way. My experience is, those people have changed a lot less than they think they have. Most people don't change but they can become better versions of themselves.......sometimes, not often though. Often times they just get better at hiding, or justifying their behaviour. If you're a cheater, you'll cheat less. The justification is always, "I'm better than I use to be so therefor Ive changed." You're are just a different degree of who you always were. Life circumstance has a huge role in justifying bad behaviour as well. At what point does an honest man become a thief? Hunger has a way to tame a mans pride. Different degrees of the same person.

Your videos have so much of Info that I began taking notes!😂

Going through this right now myself and have been watching and listening and reading Les Mis since the early 90s. Spiritually JVJ represents the resurrected new testament vs the old testament (Javier). Another theme that runs in Les Mis is love in all its forms - philio, Eros, and agape. Brotherly love, unrequited love, love btwn parents and kids, erotic love, saving love, adopted parent love, etc and the agape love of God and like the final song says (spoiler alert).... To love another person IS to see the face of God. The whole point of the movie. Love. Or, h'opopono - 'i am sorry, forgive me, that k you, I love you".... I have LOVED Les Mis since I was a teen - have seen it live 11 times, once in Perth Australia just because I could - it is SO relavent and am blown away that you use it in your work. Thank you!

This is a great analysis of the play, thanks!

probably on of the best videos on this channel, doing god's work my friend

Darn I read Les Miserables twice and could never analyze it as well as Dr Taraban. Respect.. once more! As for ppls changing, I have never witnessed radical change, only baby steps.. but hey, the longest journey starts with one step.

There's also a different kind of change that people long for, and it has a very selfish motivation. Once I had a girlfriend that asked me: do you think people can change? But it was not because there was anything bad or evil in any of us, but she was not satisfied and she wanted me to change (my personality) for her benefit. One expectation of hers (never articulated) is that I would LOVE her family as deeply as she, yet she barely CARED about my family while I had demonstrated I cared about hers many times. In the end the best she could do to reconcile her desire for changes in me with the absence of faults in me and her self-centered attitude was to affirm: I cannot make you happy and you cannot make me happy (an impossible objective). In other words, I must keep my fantasy and not look at the mirror at all costs.

“We are all 24601” 😮‍💨 well said…love Les Mis!!

No meu caso não mudei a mim, mudei minha perspectiva do mundo e da vida. Pra mim, amadurecer não é mudar, é aprender a conviver consigo mesmo, incrementar as virtudes e aceitar os próprios defeitos.

Of all the people I know, I'm the only one who can change. I hit the bottom a few times and came out as a new person. Not always as the better version of myself, but a different one anyway. This is what I understand as an ability to adapt and learn from the experience. And believe me, gentlemen, most women will never change since they stop growing and developing as a person in their late teens at best.

You can be both a good and bad person. You're a good person when you do good things. You're a bad person when you do bad things. If you want to be a good person, don't do bad things. In the story, he is a bad person from stealing, which is socially morally wrong, and even more so for stealing from someone who had helped him. He would have had a defense if he said his punishment didn't fit the crime.

Improvement is such a miniscule aspect of change.

Dang it! I always worry about sharing specifics because if anybody that knows me currently, especially in my professional relationship or to see the consequences won't be worth the point that I'm trying to make. But yes absolutely, I have made profound change in my own life by working a 12-step program. I'll leave it at that

Yes! Hitting bottom! Im not religous but I see this lesson in the book of Job. "God" will humble us to our foundations, and ask we do it again, from the top, without any of the guardrails this time. Life is definitely trying to help me get to a better spot, but it is very tempting to assume this is all happening because "the universe hates me" lmaoooo as if i were anything more than a memory of a single grain of sand.

Absolutely loved this ❤

A beautiful description of ego death.

Deeper people can change. Shallow people have a less linear change. Change comes from honesty and even good shallow people are okay just because they don't change nearly as much. Deeper thinkers who look for the truth in life and themselves have the ability to change to a greater extent that others can see. It all boils down to truth and honesty.

Negative change is easy, sudden, and drastic. Positive change is difficult, slow, and mild.

A scorpion wants to cross a river but cannot swim, so it asks a frog to carry it across. The frog hesitates, afraid that the scorpion might sting it, but the scorpion promises not to, pointing out that it would drown if it killed the frog in the middle of the river. The frog considers this argument sensible and agrees to transport the scorpion. Midway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog anyway, dooming them both. The dying frog asks the scorpion why it stung despite knowing the consequence, to which the scorpion replies: "I am sorry, but I couldn't resist the urge. It's my character." Origins