Did Your Wife Bait and Switch? 

Grandma said it best - "Son keep them as your girlfriend and you will always get her best A+ effort because she's faking to get the 💍. Ounce she gets married you will get the revenge version for all the faking she had to do before."

When women pretend to be something they are not in order to get a good man into marriage, they have two choices after the wedding. The first is to continue to pretend, which no one wants to spend their life doing. The other is to be honest and reveal what a fraud they have been, which is unacceptable to most. So most women invent a third option: make their husband the culprit. And sadly, the vast majority of their friends and society will back them up.

❤ *I married a nymphomaniac.* *Now after 5 years of marriage, the nympho is gone.* And I'm left with the maniac.

I married my wife for her personality. I got a screaming deal because she threw in 5 more for free.

The sexual facade vanished on our wedding night... she just laid there pretty much like a statue... no passion, no participation, no obvious desire expressed... she just laid there.... no moans, no sounds... it was like a prayer meeting in an old folks home. And I was thinking to myself, "Is this what sex is going to be like for the rest of my life?" The thought horrified me so much I went limp, which didn't seem to bother her at all. She wasn't going to even try to get me back up and running. And by the way, she threw this in my face when we tried marriage counseling a few years later. I was trying to discuss the fact our marriage was sexless and her lack of sexual desire and expressed passion in the bedroom and how I did 99% of the work in bed, stimulating her while she pretty much just laid there. She shot off, "Why don't we tell her how you can't stay hard?" I said, "Okay, lets talk about it. It's funny how I never had a problem till I married you. In fact, I can get hard anytime I want even now, so long as you're not there. That tells me where the problem lay." The look on her face, she was pissed. That marriage councilor sat there in stunned silence, completely unprepared for the two of us. We literally couldn't stand each other. It started with her being the most disrespectful person I had ever been around and a complete dud in the bedroom, beginning the very day i married her. After a couple of years of that, I was the most miserable man to ever draw a breath. If I had known what sex with her was going to be like and how insanely disrespectful she would be, I would have NEVER married her. I should have gotten a clue when my 11 year old daughter spoke up a few short weeks after the wedding. I was driving her to a friends house and she had just witnessed my wife be insanely disrespectful to my face... "Dad, why did you marry her? She doesn't even like you!" To hear my daughter say that to me less than a month into my marriage stung.... but my God it was the truth. I felt like such a sucker.

This is a very old saying that is still true today: A woman marries a man thinking she can change him but he doesn’t change. A man marries a woman hoping she won’t change … but she does.

Ladies, you’re just not worth the trouble anymore.

I was once told by an older man that "If you want to know what marriage is like, find a woman that you absolutely cannot stand to be around and buy her a house." And I didn't listen. Now, with no so much figurative speech and with much directness, I warn the younger men I meet about marriage.

What bothers me the most is seeing my wife interact with other people. She's personable, nice, funny, but with me it's all aggression, anger, and arguing.. everything is an argument. I remember getting the nice facade treatment from her when dating.

This is a common situation for many men... I heard a woman say once, "I don't have to do that anymore, I'm married now."

They are called covert narcissists

My wife used sex to lure me in and after not too long she shut the sex down to once in a blue moon. She left one morning without telling me she was gone. I don't miss her and feel like I got conned.

My wife says “I don’t need a man” except to clothe and feed her, provide a home, fix her car, etc. I’m done!!

I work, and she stays at home. She made dinner, (which she does 50% of the time) but the kitchen was a mess. I spent 30-45 mins unloading the dishwasher, and reloading it with the dirty dishes. I cleaned the countertops, and the stove top. Washed and dried the various cookware that isn't dishwasher safe. I then cleaned the kitchen sink. What was my reward??? Her bitchfest that I left a wet sponge at the bottom of the kitchen sink. She was saying this in front of our 21 yr old daughter. I just stared at her and said..."OK, so I want to get this straight. After all the cleaning that I just did, you want to get on me about a sponge?!" I looked at my daughter, and I could see her eyes rolling because she couldn't believe it either. Been married 30 yrs and I've been miserable for 20.

My wife kept up the facade of being sweet and kind for FOUR years, but when she got the wedding dress off, I no longer knew her.

My wife told me that she filed for divorce to be happy. 24 years of trying to make her happy. 3x kids and after supporting her through nursing school and a failed attempt at nurse anesthesia school and her happiness just needs to divorce me...

She didn't change; she just stopped acting. I thought I committed to a really admirable person. Then I met the real her. I got out after two years. Thank God. The last 13 years since have been the best of my life.

"The Manipulated Man" by Esther Vilar. Enough said.

Men, Men, Men, remember you weren't her first choice. She choose you for your provisioning and your protection. The man she has true genuine desire for is in her past. That man that did nothing substantial for her. She will only give as much as it takes to keep you providing and protecting. It's labeled as transactional sex.

Deception is an evil womans hobby.

When you get married you only meet your embassador. The real person you meet when you get divorced.

Bait and switch perfectly describes my marital experience. My mistake was thinking that if I only did more, solved more "problems", earned more money and was patient she would come around.

Our culture itself believes that it is the job of the man to make his wife happy as well. If the wife complains to any of her friends that she is unhappy, their immediate conclusion is that the husband is mistreating her somehow. My own reputation has been destroyed because all if my wife's friends, even our pastor, immediately took her side. They never once even asked ME my side of the story, just assumed from day 1 that I was the problem.

My two ex-wives were bossy, grievance machines. Beware: All the tiny things that bother you while dating become mountains later. She will end up bossing you around, while constantly complaining about the patriarchy and saying she deserves a medal for every accomplishment because she is so amazing she accomplished anything in a male-dominated world.

We men need to change. We can't make our wives better by excusing their behaviour. We need to hold them accountable for their bs right from the time we're still dating, and be willing to walk away if necessary. Otherwise we have no one to blame but ourselves for surrendering our lives to terrorists. (I say this as someone who made all of the above mistakes and got taken to the cleaners because of it)

My wife gets extremely a angry when I clean the house because she says I'm making her feel guilty. Of course she gets just as angry if I don't help with the chores. I can't win.

Mine kept it up for 12 years as I delayed marriage and children. Thereafter, as soon as she got the 2 children she wanted she bolted. Ruthless - cash and prizes.

The moment she got a positive pregnancy test, I no longer existed to her. I noticed it within ten minutes

So to a woman getting married is the next thing, not being married. It’s true that the marriage ends after the wedding day, which would explain why women obsess so much about the wedding. That’s all she cares about. She knows that everything she’s done has built up to the wedding day. Deep down women must be aware that they will flip the switch once they get married because they’re tolerating a lot of things in the run up to the wedding and looking forward to not having to try so hard once they get the ring confirmed.

Yes. Plain and simple - once we got the home, pets, kids and the safety and security - withdrawn and not a care in the world about what it does to our relationship - or what's left of it. she openly says it's not important to her - seemed pretty important before and right after we were married.

I tried and I tried to make my first wife happy. I did everything imaginable to make her happy. I could not save her from herself. Years later, long after she left, I realized I couldn't save her and I never had the ability to save her. She sank into her own misery and blamed me for it, figuring if she changed men she would discover happiness. I've been told people often marry in an attempt to become single. That is, a whole, complete, content person is a single, unbroken person. Often we marry thinking "This person will complete me" as Jerry McGuire would say. No, another person cannot complete you, cannot make you happy. Best to be a happy, whole, single person, then marry for the right reasons, not out of need to be whole.

My wife definitely did the "bait and switch" on me. She initiated the first time we had sex, and that was the one and only time she initiated. She was sexual at first, but not long into the marriage, she turned that off. After about four years of marriage, she dropped a bombshell. She told me her previous husband had raped her on several occasions. It was why she actually was completely shut down sexually, and why she could never enjoy sex, could never orgasm, and why she never wanted me. She refused to get professional help, and simply said that sex was "ok with you" (me). Believe me, it never was. Having sex 6 or 7 times a year, with a woman who simply 'allowed' it to take place, I eventually called an end to our marriage. It killed me inside. I got depressed and anxious just trying to cope with a dysfunctional relationship

I mentioned to my ex that she was always so chilled out and never complained about anything and I swear to God, within 3 hours she was lecturing me about all my shortcomings. It was like a light switch. She stayed horrible after that. Thank god she is gone.

Adding an addiction to social media has REALLY made it worse!

For women, if you want to know if a guy really likes you, don't sleep with him. For men, if you want to know if a girl is really into you and not your money & stuff, let your middle name be Dutch.

I warn younger men about my ex "I solved all of her problems. The only problem she had left was me." To be honest, she was a miserable beach who did nothing but complain for several hours a day... to the point I once asked her "did anything GOOD happen today?" I paid for that one. How dare I interrupt her sacred rant.

I got no help with the kids and chores from the wife during the marriage. She had her affair and moved out. She tried to come back in a half-hearted way, I said no. I got the divorce done as quickly as possible and custody of our kids. She made a lot of stupid financial decisions during the divorce that benefited me. Divorce is definitely a business transaction, the end of marriage and splitting assets. I am still relieved she is gone. She is still a miserable creature.

Thank you so much for these videos, Karyn. My covert wife carried on the facade for nearly three years while we dated. It abruptly ended after marriage. Talk about your bait and switch. I mentioned many times about her Jeckell and Hyde behavior but, in her mind- it never happened. She treated everyone outside these four walls like kings and queens while treating her husband and children like sh!t. I can't believe that I am still alive after her torturous behavior for thirty-five years. She never got me to crack emotionally, even after accusing me of wanting to sexually molest our two year old grandaughter. She finally moved out a year and a half ago and my nerves are finally on the mend. Thank God she is gone! Jeffrey Z. in SC

spot on. I met a woman 21 years ago. Single mom. She trapped me with an anchor baby. Played Holly Homemaker while we dated. She would take my laundry and do it. I didn't ask her to. She just played the role until we were married. Then she slowly started stopping everything. before it was all said and done, she wouldn't make meals for me of the kids. She wouldn't do any laundry but her own. The house was a shitshow. 12 years later, she started a business with my funding. Once she thought the business was viable. She bolted and tried to take both of my kids. I ended up with custody of my kids because she was so uncaring for the kids that they chose to live with me.

I saw coworkers getting married and divorced all within about 4 years. Seeing this, I decided never to have a girlfriend again nor ever get married. I do not want to go into that life sucking trap.

And you wonder why so many men are just walking away from this drama? Why on earth would you ever get married?

3 years after getting divorced from a 16-year marriage I do realize that my exwife was never going to be happy.

I didn't even know my wife had a bad temper till about a month after we married.. and it was really, really bad.

This is the most spine-chilling thread I've ever seen! Absolutely terrifying...

My wife kept up the facade until I saw the ultrasound pictures of my first son and she saw the tears of happiness on my face. The next thing after we left the clinic was her telling me that she stopped loving me and that she doesn't know whether she could continue with me or not. Yes, huge narcissist

Reading through the comments I was mystified over the sheer number of men that divorced these types of women. That put dozens if not hundreds of bait and switch queens back in to the dating pool and put the same amount of men ignorant of this phenomenon in jeopardy. Karyn you better take your message to Primetime ASAP. You have a country to save.

best thing that ever happened was when she ran off with another man. She wrecked our family, broke her vows, lied to everyone, ran through men. It's over. peace in the house. Get gone. never again. Now I learn that is common female behavior. not dating ever again.

Married twice. Both turned out to be nothing like they were before the wedding. There won't be a 3rd.

Less than 2 months after marriage sex sucked she got 150 extra pounds. She started nagging and disrespecting. Like an ass i hung in there 3 kids and 13 years later she jumped out my bed and ran off with her BF. Raised my kids without her help. Only thing I can say is never again. I married my dream girl and she almost ended me.

All the guys i know who got married in their 20s are all divorced now because their wives left them for guys they met on social media while their husbands were at work. The few who are still together live in a silent hell.

This video describes exactly my wife's behaviour.

I really hate this kind of deception in women. These kind of women often put on a show for their peers and community to gain acceptance. It's not just men they deceive. I've been thoroughly hoodwinked by a woman who did this to me. My whole friendship with her was with a persona and not a real person. At least I'm a woman, so I know not all women are like this. I've met plenty of genuine, honest ones. But if a guy married a woman like that.... yikes... they'd live their whole lives wondering if anything they see from women in general is real. 😫

Happiness is a choice.... If anyone, not just your spouse is not happy then it's a personal issue, often it's a side effect of insecurity. Women tend to have a world view that if something isn't going the way she thinks someone else at fault and it's always the one she's closest to. Lack of accountability is destructive and must be addressed in order to save any relationship.... To all the men out there, stay strong and to all the women I pray you find your truth, begin to love yourselves and find your happiness.... Love to you all ❤

Mine did. That’s why she’s my ex wife. I stayed for kids, never for her and not for me. I sacrificed for years for the kids.

That is why I teach young men to put NO confidence in the idea that they can address all the huge risks of marriage that today's men ESPECIALLY face by just "finding the right woman."

Yep...today, marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes and hoping you'll pull out a rabbit.

My wife tells me after 3 years of great sex that the person I've been having sex with wasn't really her. Turns out she's not into sex. She initiated sex about ONCE a year. I left her.

This absolutely happened to me. Before we got married my ex was happy to flop down and screw any place any time, sometimes in rather dangerous situations (as in, getting caught with bad consequences). As soon as we got married the switch flipped to "off." We did not have sex on our wedding night, and it was all downhill from there. Looking back on it all, that was absolutely ridiculous: I should have kicked her to the curb six months in but instead stuck it out for twenty grueling years before finally getting out.

Married couples are the greatest actors.

This video Describe my wife exactly. One day she was crying (half mad half crying) saying “I just cannot keep this up anymore.

Your channel should be mandatory viewing for any guy even remotely contemplating marriage. This bait and switch is nothing but a con job so women can get alimony, child support, and over 1/2 of everything the guy has for little work. Men need to not walk away but run.

A buddy of mine married a woman who was a happy, cool, fun chick. He divorced her not even 6 months later. Oddly enough she never withheld sex, but she went totally Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs otherwise. Me and my girlfriend noticed that she just wasn't the same woman my buddy married.

Big reason I never was even interested in marriage is 90% of the marriages I’ve seen my entire life, the “wife” is a complete witch. Couldn’t imagine sleeping next to one that wouldn’t want to have sex either, and that’s mostly what I hear!

This is too depressing to listen to as it accurately describes my marriage.

Yup its all to true, I was bait and switched and now she cheats and think i only know a little bit about her actions. a coworker of hers (that doesnt like her)who i do not know previously contacted me , ever since then i have watched and listened...she does all the things that all the other cheaters do, She doesnt know i know so much...im selling the house taking the cash and leaving her hi and dry.....im buying a yacht and leaving the country...

The nemesis of these times is that everybody think they can do better, really almost no one can do better

I married a covert narcissist southern belle. Nothing was ever good enough for her. I am a healthcare physician. a genuinely empathetic good hearted person. It was a nightmare. Luckily I saw the light quickly.

Boy, did this video hit home hard.

Since I showed her your videos she's gone full on destroy mode. What is a good man to do? Bail out of this sinking ship and rescue my kids, but she's got them mentally chained so they don't want to get in the lifeboat with me.

The worst is when other people are still getting the before marriage version and behind closed doors you’re dealing with a nasty hateful lunatic. My first marriage fell apart it took time for most people to even believe me. She was a master manipulator. If I could had to do it again i would have documented her behavior. Recorded her when I could and kept a written record of her daily crazy, and it was daily.

You know my wife far better than I ever did . After 35 years am finally divorced . I know ! I know! how can someone live so long in such a relationship . Guess I got used to the abuse and thought it was normal . As a free person I now ask myself how did I endure ?

For me the happiness ended after the first pregnancy, after the second the Hell gates opened. And yes thru the first 7 years including 5 years of marriage we were happy. We did stuff together, dinner-and-a-movie, skiing, Broadway shows, even riding the motorcycle together... After second kid it all went to shit.... never came back. Bitching, nagging, drama ...endless

Never be afraid to tear down all that niceness and see what's there. See how they act when faced with authenticity.

Women marry hoping their man will change. Men marry hoping their woman won’t change.

soon as she got the ring.

You are a beacon of hope for a lot of men because some of us we think we are insane by the way when I shared your video with my wife. She quickly adjusted like pretentious, but you can see the old self just come out once in a while.

My wife and I have been married for 34 years. We never fight. (… of course, she lives in another town, tho …)

Every single woman that a man gets into a relationship will cost that man his time, his money, and his energy. You will pretty much have to deal with a child because she will act that way in order to get whatever she wants. If she doesn't get it, it will be your fault. I am so glad at 63, that I never married. MGTOW makes a lot of sense. I have my freedom and my peace.

Real Talk... Thank you for your honesty.

My story is the biggest bait and witch in marriage history.

Breadcrumbs would be nice.

I have a friend who has been engaged for a year or so. And his fiance baited and switched. He says the sex died way down. And she even told him she is okay with being a mistress of he gets with a rich girl. I told him never to marry her or sign a license. I hope he listens

This is fact. You always meet her proxy first. Then she cant keep up the game. I realized these facts. This is why at sixty i would tell any young man. Dont fall in love. It was a facade. Getting married is for her friends. The wedding, her dress, hair styles etc. Men will give his life for his family. A woman give her emotions for her family. They cant play the game forever

I was married for 14 years. She was never happy no matter what it did. Never again. I’ll remain single and stay happy.

9 months. Then she did a complete 180. I still mourn the woman I married, but I despise the woman I left.

Mine hid personality disorder(s) until she was preggo. I was very confused and spent much time and energy trying to figure it out. When I did I felt a great relief. The woman I dated and married does come back from time to time, out in public for other people, never at home. Finally figured out I was just a task to complete, a box to check. She has completed the list: husband, child, house, beemer in the garage, worlds best dog… and she becomes more unhappy daily. I never took the blame for her change even though she tried many times to pass it on to me. I don’t take blame for things that are not my fault. Those that are, I take full responsibility.

Thanks God. The woman I married 20 years ago is still the same woman today. Yes, we fight, but we still laugh together. I don't know what the true definition of happiness is. But it's peaceful knowing her by my side.

I think me and my ex has sex ten times at most in Our marriage. My job was to do all the work and pay all the bills. In fact I'd work two full-time jobs, come home , make her dinner , sleep and hour or two and go to my second full-time job. We divorced at 30, I tried to date but was treatid like a walking ATM. Once I hit 35 I realized it was to late for the family I wanted so I gave up like most men I know and never dated again.

I know mine did, we knew each other for a a couple of years and talked often. We had the same interests, hobbies, goals, everything was perfectly aligned. When I transferred my job to her area and moved in with her, away from my family and friends. I quickly found out we had one or two goals aligned and absolutly NOTHING else in common. She didn't actually like my hobbies or interests, she refused to let me spend time with my friends online always telling me that "You JUST talked to them" even though I could physically prove that I hadn't done any online gaming for months, and I constantly felt bored while we did what she wanted. Honestly it should be as easy to walk away from as it is to get into it if you find the other person spent years lying to you just to get that ring.

You can’t make anyone happy. That comes from within. Most women don’t want a man, they want a girl, friend that pays the bills

I married a woman that chased me, she grabed me and told me she wanted to dance with me,. I was somwhat taken back, wasn't overly impressed with the way she looked, but something about her said give it a shot, 2 years later after trying to find a reason not to marry her, I knew that I could live with her, 45 years later she is still chasing me, this woman would do anything for me. I feel like I hit the jackpot with this one. This is my second wife , the first one is refered to as a psychopath by her (our) daughter.

Yup. My ex kept her homosexuality secret from me for 12, 13 years until the secret came out. There was no stopping here afterwards.

Even the Pharaoh RAMSES said “Trust NO woman!!”

Look at her relationship with her father. Not all but often times it's key.

Five years in, giving it time, sorting it all out, i knew id been had. Stayed because of the vows. The next twenty years were miserable. Wish id seen this vid before all that.!

People are responsible for their own happiness!

I’m so glad my ex girlfriend hit me with the bait and switch 3 months into our relationship so I could dip out with minimal damage. I feel for the men who get the bait and switch years into the relationship

Yes - where did she go? She changed and the old person never came back. I was criticized all the time and nothing I could do was right. I was blamed for everything and since I am quite self critical a part of agreed with her. I gave her control over me. And then it was like a switch being pressed and I no longer responded to her manipulation and I no longer cared what she thought.

I think as men we often make too much effort to "make them happy" while in the dating phase. This enables women to see us as a source of happiness, and even obligated to provide them with happiness. At some point, this delusion fails to deliver, and we then become scapegoats for their feelings of unhappiness. Men need to curb their willingness to create an endless stream of 'fantasy dates' and other sources of dopamine for women. Expect her to contribute her share of the energy and 'juice' that makes the relationship feel special, and do so long before considering marriage. If she doesn't contribute her share of positive energy before marriage, you can expect worse afterward.

Same here. Honeymoon night...THE first night, I was told the day had been very tiring and stressful and she didn't want sex. It made sense, so I understood. But that was the first shot across the bow of a non-physical marriage.