I recently left my ex bf because hes constantly unemployed and he felt like him paying 50 percent of the bills was too much for him.i refuse to take care of a man. He had to go
I took your advice and my life started to change. Invested in myself, building a business, and eventually want to write a book! You don’t realize how many people you are impacting by giving us this advice.
True but ALL of thee ABOVE. You CANNOT leave out chemistry & compatibility when it comes to YOUR SPOUSE. If you ONLY have the 1st two, that's running a business not having a marriage. People too often underestimate those essentials. There needs to be a difference in what the person you marry holds and has that sets them APART from any other person of the opposite sex.
I think a lot of us would like to fix all the problems with one particular person..but the reality is God has someone so much better than the one we are trying to choose. You shouldn’t have to jump over hoops with the one God has for you, things will just fall into place 💓
I've been desperate for love my entire life. The truth hurts but it's also very enlightening. Just focusing on Self love and I pray that rest will fall into place🙏🏽🙌🏽
me too im still worried bout ending up single and missing a guy so i dont want to meet any one new any ways. trying to find a way past the heart break and get up and do something. its hard cause ive had depression and people kicked me when i was down n heart broken by a guy earlier this year
I just finally walked away from an extremely cheap man. After not saying anything for two years and accepting the bare minimum, I mentioned that he was cheap. He got the audacity to get offended! I deserve more. Thank you Tony.
“That’s what you have to ask yourself, is his personality... worldview...outlook on life...situation going to affect or impact the quality of my life?” TG
His personality and worldview is meaningless, bcuz that’s just empty rhetoric that swings like a pendulum. Making sense when he speaks and demonstrating the opposite. Guys are notorious for that. So don’t go by that. What’s going to affect your life is the way he is. The decentness or bs he’s about, and getting yourself involved in.
Yessss! Great advice! This was the very question that led me to end my last relationship. Thank God for growth, wisdom and discernment. I couldn’t give it a year and the 5 months I did stick around was too long lol
Omg. Thank you for this video. This week a guy asked me if I wanted to smoke with him. I responded by saying “no I do not smoke”. I told me friends about it. They told me that I should be more open and that my standards are too high. They also told me this is how young men ask girls out as an attempt to get to know them better. When he asked me this question, I was immediately turned off. I know my worth. This was confirmation. Thank you so much. Have a blessed day!
I’m 420 friendly. But if a guy asks if you want to blaze with him at his place, that’s not “how young men get to know people”, that’s a booty call lol.
@Rolanda Sturdivant YIKES! The comment "Your standards are too high" coming from your friends makes me wonder what kind of character their husbands and boyfriends have.
Tony reiterates over and over two main points. Create boundaries/standards and stick to them. Show you love yourself before attempting to enter the arena of companionship.
Is it just me? It seems like common sense but I’ve missed this understanding my whole life. I think parents need to talk about these things with their kids and teach them. I was NOT taught!!! But I’m teaching myself now that I know I’ve been doing things wrong.
My mom had an arranged marriage that turned violent. Her parents on the other side, wanted to marry her off as soon as possible, no matter with whom. And I would say there are so many women who don't have the knowledge, because they had none to teach them as well... We are blessed to take the information now...
I’m working on my health, career, saving for my condo and would like a family but I’m 42 years .. sometimes I just want to give up. I’m still single because of my values and standards not my preferences… if my preferences were more important I would have settled for anything a long time ago as long as he has a cute face.. definitely do not want that!!! It’s been so challenging but God gives me strength to endure this time of waiting.. 11 years abstinent and 7 years praying for a spouse. It’s discouraging..but I have trust Jesus and his plan for me!!
You know, since I started listening to your messages, I learned so much. I’m dealing with a serious break up. He was coming in and out of my life. Now I have had the strength to leave, to no longer initiate contact. This message here, has me happy about the standards I’ve created. I don’t need no man playing those games!
@Bree C To be honest Sis, it doesn't really matter where you meet a man. So many people are negative about online dating, but look how many millions of women are suffering or dead who have met men the old fashioned way. Just because you meet a dude at the gym, at church, at the library, at the club, at the park don't mean he is any better.
Tony, please don't EVER stop the way you deliver your videos. In the mist of the TRUTH we need some laughter, especially with all that is going on in the world. 🤣
Yes ladies! It's time to stop settling. Get someone you can go on all the adult Roller Coasters with. 😂. Naw, I'm joking, but on a serious note. Don't let a temporary feeling of loneliness, become a long-lasting problem of stress. Be Blessed.
If you stand for everything, you’ll fall for anything. It took some heartache, but putting those standards, boundaries, and deal breakers in place was the most important thing I’ve ever did in my life! Make the Lord your hubby, you won’t regret it!! 😎😂❤️
“Unless he can’t get on certain rides.” 🤣🤣🤣. I love the way you tell it like it is!! Those sarcastic comparisons makes one reflect!! Keep doing God’s work! You are excellent!! God bless you!!
This is so true...we have to stop settling! I refuse to do it and I have a cousin who’s married and they tell me all the time that I’m looking for perfection and I’m really just looking for what I need and what I’m attracted to! They always try to hook me up with his friends, who don’t exercise, smoke cigarettes, drink a lot, don’t live near me, etc. I don’t think I’m being picky, because I can’t stand smoke of any kind, I stay active, I’m a very moderate drinker and I want my guy near me! My cousin is a vet, who suffers from ptsd and drinks heavily, but he does handle his business and he is very good to his wife! I tell him all the time that it’s rare, but I believe it’s because he loves the Lord. I don’t want any of that stuff in a mate and I tell him all the time that he is fortunate to have a wife that is willing to deal with his issues! Im too old to be dealing with a bunch of crap, that I personally find unattractive, so I’m not settling...period!
I am 33, single with no kids. I want the same. There is a 34 year old man, divorced with 8 year old twins, who is interested in me. The biggest red flag for me is that he is bitter towards his ex-wife and paints her as the devil incarnate; and himself a wounded angel.
Don't believe him. He's angry and bitter because she left and wouldn't put up with his nonsense. Keep it moving especially, if he's openly sharing about her. Most men won't and don't do that he's hurt and needs to heal and take responsibility for his actions/inaction. Live for you.
Recently, having to see almost all of my friends and cousins settle for someone (except of one), I was wondering if my standards are too high. However, what I expect from a man is also something that I offer.... That's why I should just be patient and keep myself from getting desperate... I am almost 26 and till now, I managed to stop myself from getting desperate enough to settle... I hope God gives me patience to wait for His blessing.
@@sarahmitchell4010 Being singe has one huge advantage, that woman, who are in a relationship/marriage with the wrong one, don't have: Being able to go straight to our future husband as soon as we see him. We don't have to deal with a break up, with jealousy and harassment from a crazy ex or go through a divorce.Nothing like this, no... We go straight to our future husband!
Your videos have really helped show me my part that I played in accepting men that didn't even come close to my standards and what I needed. I will make better choices purposely.
Great message!!!! Don’t ever compromise 🙌🏾 Tony took me out with the baby done fell hit her head and didn’t even cry because of the THC and CBD. And then y’all can’t get on a rollercoaster 🎢 😂😂😂
OMG TONY!! You summed up EXACTLY wht I just did w my ex who ended things & I said move out (was living w me paying no bills) & he was shocked I said move out cuz u ended relationship. I’m setting boundaries & standards now cuz fundamentally we weren’t compatible (he cheats, lies, don’t take care of his kids, smoke mj, & bounces jobs - I don’t). I’m not perfect by no means but he only brought his presence so I wasn’t alone. Getting used to that now cuz no extra self induced pain for me. Thanks again Tony.
Me and my ex had different beliefs. I grew up Christian and he was into the New Age Movement. 3+ years in and now out. I hope God change his heart someday.
You are always right! I’m always evaluating my life. Whose in it, what I’ve allowed, what I’m still allowing and how to move forward. Tony has helped me get it together. He might be a relationship coach, but I’ve gotten a lot more out of the video’s. Thank you for all that you do and be blessed.
Thank you Tony for this topic. Covid quarantine caused many people to engage with people that were not up to there standard causing a lot of heartbreak. But the message is clear, brand/body/business. Thank god for healing. Ladies love yourself always
Tony Gaskin you have truly helped change my outlook regarding the way I see relationships, men, and who I give my time to. I watch your videos everyday while I’m working. Thank you 🙏🏾
I'm so glad that I'm listening keenly. I've already married to a man who is all wrong for me, and he will continuously tell me when he's in the midst of fighting me like a ghetto woman, that I think the grass the greener than him, that getting divorced again at my age people will laugh at me, he tells me all sorts of things that I know are not truth in me or about me. I still have mixed feelings about divorcing him, as he wants to go for counseling but doesn't have the money to pay for it, and isn't offering to pay anything, but consistently talks about going for counseling. I'm learning, do much listening here
@@eio1148 I do recognize that when I have said okay you need to leave, he then cries like a baby and begs me not to leave him then the cycle starts all over again once he feels comfortable, like we're going to work it out. Nothing changes, only married 16 months. Sad
@@melvaspence17862 I was married for 3 years and quickly realized that it was a mistake. Grown boy unwilling to compromise, participate in counsel from our pastor at that time and last but not least...cheating. I didn't care about what others may think, my peace of mind was priority. I decided to leave. I struggled for a while, but it was worth it THEN rather than lost years and struggling later.
On time Brotha Ton 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I’ll wait for what I know exists. God does all things well and surely there’s a king that I’ll be suited for. Until then- B/B/B 🤯💪🏽💰🤞🏽🙏🏽
I love the message in this video but crying 🤣😂laughing at “the baby done fell and hit her head didn’t even cry” 😩🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Tony... I absolutely love your deliverance... Your unintentional comedy makes it fun to listen but appreciated because you speak the truth... Thank you for your wisdom.
One of my favorite videos of yours. 💯 thank you and for no filler!!!!! And thank you for adding your comedy 🤣🤣🤣 I need to give you a call come tax season haha
Thank you for the sale on your courses. I purchased the love & relationship ones that I hadn’t bought yet. I’m one of the single mommas that you’ve helped out tremendously and I pray you receive 100 times back the blessings you’ve given me with your videos. I would have remained broken and not been on the path to healing had I not come across your videos 6 months ago.
My Lord! This was my conversation with a guy yesterday. He thinks we would be fine with different lifestyles. Of course he would, he would be one benefitting on a come up with me, but I would be the one unhappy. I can wait to receive what I need and want. I've been alone this long...a little while longer will not hurt!!
I love you brother Tony!!! OMG!!! I literally laughed out loud in my office, when you said the comment about him being short and not being able to get on the rides!!! I am 5’11 1/2 and that so tickled me! Thank you for teaching me so much about men and relationships. When I quote you to my friends, I refer to you as my “brother!” 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽
"Baby done fell, didn't even cry"😩🤪🤣 I know two people that settled and is dealing with some of what Tony is talking about...let's just say they are both in lonely marriages.
As for me: No stand-in's, fill-in's welcome! If I'm bringing something to the table, he MUST DEFINATELY bring something to the table as well! Morals, values, Christianity, compatibility, good work ethics, great conversation, quality time, trust, faithfulness, physical attraction, are things I will not lower my standards on, point blank perioddd! I'm not looking for perfection, because there's no such thing as a perfect man. If he's willing to accept my flaws, I'm willing to accept his.
Tony, excellent video... very transparent and men need to understand that we have expectations. Most men get upset when you voice your expectations, if you aren’t interested for whatever reason. Then when I lay it out why I am not interested, they say I’m too honest. Theme of this video “don’t settle”..I almost did and glad that I walked away from him.
Omg i can't not believe with this person just asked me. I've only known this person for 3 months and he just asked me to co sign a car loan for him. How fast should I 🏃♂️.
Ma'am, run SO FAST that you can reverse the orbit of the world and time itself and go back to where you met him and grab yourself so you AND past you can run TOGETHER!
Tony you are really a good Coach! Not only I grew so much as a person. I don't take a man's bullshit no more! Thank you for giving woman the opportunity too see things clearly.. 2022 I am stepping up my game♡♡
Tony Gaskins is sooo awesome!! I just admire his mind, character and innate qualities. I feel so empowered and elevated after listening to his videos. I just love this guys wisdom, humility, compassion and realness. Applause 2 TG 👏
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO TONY! We are confusing preferences and with our standards!! Most of us think that after some time, even after marriage, these differences will or can change and that's the problem. We're spreading our legs instead of spreading open a book! We're swiping left or right and getting sexual with people and we don't even know their last name- sometimes not even their first name! Tony, I loved this video. We elevate at this level and we're attracting what we're putting out there! We tend to get desperate and people can smell desperation from an airplane!