Another thing I know I struggle with as a 1 is complaining about never getting help. However, I suck at asking for help and make it impossible for anyone to help because it is not being done ‘just so’. I often want help but just feel like others get in my way.
All of your videos are just excellent! Filled with highly accurate and perceptive information relayed in an approachable and engaging way :) I have learnt so much from them, thanks Dr. LaHue :))
9w1 here :) Thank you for this! Definitely showed me some blind spots I need to work on. I burst out in laughter when you mentioned the dishwasher because it is my most recent argument with my roommate.
A one taps their foot in impatience when someone wants to talk about their feelings. "I don't have time for all these emotions..." And, "We don't need to get a committee together to talk about this, we just need to do it." 100% guilty type 1 here! 😂😂
That is madness with a parent doing that sort of thing. I'm a 1 however I'm also an INFJ and I would never remove the humanity out of a decision. I would keep my daughter and grandchild home and help however with encouragement to not make the same error again...life is too precious and we don't have enough time in the world to make foolish errors because of pride...!!!
What I find mysterious is that many of the ones in my life (perhaps the 1w2 more than 1w9) often struggle to “get things done.” Some of them are workaholics, but some of the others really don’t seem to be focused on productivity/getting things done and really struggle to make forward progress on responsibilities. I’m a 3 though, so it could be my mind that says no one is as productive as me. ;)
Good observation. I'm a 1w9, and am typically an overachiever. However, when faced with a task that I don't think I can complete with perfection (or my version of perfection 😉). I'll procrastinate as long as I possibly can.
What about person's who HABITUALLY BREAK rules? That's where I have issue...I have bended to allow for a better outcome however I've realized there are person's hell bent on breaking and ignoring rules just because they don't give a smidgen about anything other than what they want.
Great video! I watched it because my boss is a Type 1 and also as a 7w6 it's where I go to in stress. I think I get frustrated, especially when she gets frustrated, (isn't that funny) because I don't like who I am when I go to 1
Please do a video on “connection” attachment theory bonding I am a 1w9 and my so. Is adhd (our relationship is broken 💔) thank you for sharing your faith in these talks, I am also a believer and enjoy how you bring in biblical principals in a practical way 👍🏻
As a 9w1 I appreciate knowing these. Ha ha ha, I get the dishwasher preference argument, to me it's what fits the most in and that they'll be cleaned properly.... :) Criticism & contempt are two of Gottman's relationship apocalyptic horsemen.......also defensiveness and stonewalling....
Thank you for your knowledge. I think that sometimes I feel like Mommy Walmart and that is why I am loved. So to stretch into your suggestions is to recognize and trust that I do not have to be the work horse all the time.
I would never _critique_ someone that I didn’t hold in high esteem. I don’t criticize people that I don’t respect and believe in, bc it would be a waste of time. That preference thing is real, man, it’s saved me so much frustration. Do you know what it feels like when you’re wrong? _exactly the same as it feels when you’re right I also make sure my critiques aren’t _judgements_ like how he was saying around the 10 minute mark. Insulting people is incredibly counterproductive. If you are feeling bitter and critical and angry all the time, I strongly suggest you do whatever it takes to develop more pragmatism to really accept things in a realistic, relevant way. I always say, that everyone is the hero of their own story. We are merely side characters in their world. No one is deliberately evil. This is very important to accept. No one thinks they are doing the wrong thing. Everybody thinks they are the good guy, that they are doing the right thing, the best thing. Man that break taking thing is SO TOUGH. Luckily I married a 7. I do need to take a break and enjoy myself. Oh, and THERE IS a correct way to load the dishwasher, follow the manufacturer’s directions. Everything facing center and bigger things around the outside
"Getting angry at ourselves for being angry" that summed up the darkest patch of my life. I'm glad discovered the enneagram and for people like you Doc!
First of all, thank you for this awesome video. 1w9 // I had a god complex and thought I can do everything perfectly or at least better than others until I realized failure is a thing… hated myself for it but I can’t be more thankful for it either. I really needed to be humbled down and that has really helped me unlock this cute lil thing called empathy lol. I still get mad, still get frustrated but I also know how to not let it affect myself or other people anymore.
List of blind spots really important to accept and process them Thank you for sharing them cause i rech experience them in my life separately For (1. presence of anger) I know which is personal preference or frank wrong or right and working of being flexible cause i pass through time when i was worg and blam myself hard long time ago and find it self-destructive For (2 criticisms of others) i reach a level of awareness that makes me not to give anyone the advice or the guide or criticism 'unless I feel or expect that he needs it and could accept it' maybe because i fail lots of time (by my rigid techniques) But i have to work hard on my fascial expressions For rigidity i am rigid and that cost me losing lots of costumers as I am thinking that I am honest with them 🤷 One month ago I just toke my first vacation from 16yrs for 12days in a resort in Egypt (still having moments of blaming myself for that🤦 but was really in need for the rest and joy)
It's the difference between perfection and excellence. When I focus on excellence then there are multiple ways to achieve a goal. Perfection is pas/fail.
It seems like, from my experience, that 8s and 1s fundamentally have a hard time getting along. It could be just me, but I feel like the directness of the 8 is often perceived as “always bad” by the 1 and they have a tough time connecting. Again, it could just be me though!
Boldness and honesty is appreciated. Rude, rash and aggressive behaviour not so much which is typical with an unhealthy 8, that can definitely turn a 1 off.
I am a strong 8 wing 9, dating a strong 1 wing 9 and we went in the relationship knowing our strengths and weaknesses and it is working perfectly! Best relationship ever!
Snap I think the 1 would also agree with that. 1’s, 8’s and 9’s are the most angry types in their own way. So watch out for the 1’s quiet anger that builds up over time. Whereas 8’s are more in the moment.
What is your guys recommended enneagram test to take? I've taken the same free tests at different times giving me different answers. I'm really interested in this stuff and wonder if I'm not doing something wrong myself or is that normal?
Tests are not the best way to type yourself. I recommend reading descriptions and watching videos instead, especially on the instinctual subtypes, if you're confused. This site is my go-to for descriptions: www.russellrowe.com/enneagram-system-32.php
Thank you greatly. I am really struggling with life and trying to really learn who I am as a person. I really resonate with a 4w5 the most but I can also see parts of myself in other numbers as well. My favorite aspect of this is how I now am seeing everyone else where they may be coming from and I am finding it much easier to have compassion towards them instead of anger so much
