I have been researching and studying about enneagram types for a while I cannot believe I did not come across your channel before. Thank you so much for great descriptions.
YES. It allows me to throw away everything I have learned and what I should do from the perspective of those around me and that I was created in this rare way and to live by being myself and accepting it from now on even if "me" as a human is not common.
I’m a 4, but a lot of the traits named are most relatable to me from when I was younger. I remember in high school thinking that there was something wrong with me, and being so envious of other girls that could just laugh and chat without a care. But I remember on the flip side feeling so special, I felt like I viewed the world so differently. I was very expressive, loved all the sad music, and wrote poetry as well as painted. I had a feeling like everyone else didn’t understand me but that they also weren’t “good enough” to, so I was shutting them out really out of fear of being rejected. Now when I look back, I have a lot of compassion for my younger self because I know now that it was a lot of self-loathing I had. Now I don’t compare myself, I’m at peace with my own inconsistency; there are so many versions of me and that’s okay, I love who I am (quirks and all and even those parts that seemed so shameful), I prioritize connecting with others on a human level and I fight my impulse to shy or push trustworthy people away, I accept how special and unique others are and love learning about what makes others so unique, I’m aware of my empathy and love to help others through their feelings, but will protect my energy when I feel I need to and I put boundaries to not let other’s feelings affect me as strongly. There’s nothing wrong with me, I just had ADHD, but there is nothing inherently wrong with that. I still feel soooo deeply, and it’s still confusing, but I can talk myself through it. I’m not perfect, I still struggle, but that doesn’t make me any less worthy. All this to say, if you’re a 4, and you view this type as a negative, or it makes you feel like these traits are all you’ll ever be, just remember how much everyone can grow and you don’t have to define yourself by only your lowest points. This type is such an overall beautiful type. There is so much good in there and so much to love.
I completely relate to how you describe your youth-I was the same way! I've also realized that my deep empathy and desire to help others have often taken a toll on me, so I've focused a lot on protecting my energy and setting healthy boundaries.
Wow. I really relate to both of these comments. Uh. I love seeing you uplift yourself and speak about the hard experiences and the good perspective you’ve gained. We should all remind ourselves of this regularly. Sometimes I find those old adolescent insecurities come back just in different circumstances and it’s so painful and awkward, but I have to remember how far I’ve come since then too. 🩷 Showing compassion and grace to oneself is just as important as showing it to others. And it’s more genuine both ways when we do. Keep being awesome! I also have ADHD and am on the journey of learning how to release shame from that and overcome some bad habits and resignation. It’s hard but I believe will be worth it over time. Fortunately I married a kind one who helps push me into better habits. Pray for them! Lol they need a lot of patience with me.
Thank you for your great insights! In my 66 years around the planet, I learned thirty or so years ago that I am a 4....from a family of predominantly 9's. I was 4w3 for most of my life, and quite comfortable with my 9 family. I have found my 5 wing emerging these last couple of years...notably in the autumn season. Then in late winter and early spring I start to energize like a 3 and become much brighter and focused! With time and wisdom, the penchant for darkness has lessened greatly. I am calm, steady, and very thankful for one day at a time 🙂
Thank you for the beautiful description of your experience as a 4. I'm so glad you found the video insightful. Fascinating to hear about the wings shifting with the seasons!
I can truly relate to that as well. When you're a 4 the weather (not only emotions that you feel right now) impact how you feel. When winter is coming to an end and finally spring and summer start to come you feel more upbeat and positive about life. You start to appreciate smaller things even more such as weather and beauty of what the season has to offer and more open to people when at ease. I feel like we are very absorbent in a ways so we also tend to absorb people's mood
the dot dot dot before mentioning 9s XD i have like 4 9s in my life and theyre so uhm disappointing. they dont make me feel special nor wanted even tho i rlly think i am to them and im not speaking from narcissism here. they are so invalidating too i grew up w 2 of them in my family and even tho they didnt do anything- the fact that they didnt totally added to my trauma. but anyway good to hear ure doing great. just keep it up!!
Man, I laughed out loud when you said France. I’m a 4 and a major Francophile. When you added Japan, I yelled, “Yes!!” I couldn’t believe it! I adore Japanese culture too and have actually always felt there was some indefinable similarity between French and Japanese artistic expression… films, literature, music, etc. My home is literally decorated in French and East Asian inspired styles! I’d say you nailed it. Had another moment when you mentioned Anne Frank as I am currently staring at the whole shelf of books I have collected about her. She’s another lifelong obsession of mine. You should look up Hector Berlioz, by the way… French composer from the Romantic period. The 4-est 4 that ever 4-ed. Love that guy! Great video ❤
Thanks so much for sharing! Glad the countries resonated - although I can’t take credit for suggesting them (learned them from Richard Rohr). The Anne Frank connection was icing on the cake haha always nice to have the 4est 4 in the YGAT fam 🙌
@@YouveGotaType Seriously, this video was so well put together. Wonderful work! My knowledge of the Enneagram is fairly shallow, so I definitely learned from this. I came here because I discovered that Berlioz (my favorite composer) was the same type as me and wanted to learn more. I felt you were describing both of us! Maybe with differences in some of the subcategories… super interesting.
And when he mentioned something about Anne Frank, and I guess you type 4s really love to journal. I do! It's been a lifelong practice :) So interesting how these types are so accurate!
My uncle was definitely a 4w5 Bohemian. He taught English in Paris for a time, worked later as a translator. He was a bit of an ex-hippy, into peace and love and expressing his own unique opinions. Tastes in Pre-Raphealite art, dabbling in semi-autobiographical writing and water colour painting. Confirmed bachelor, probably lived in the same way since his student days in the 1960s. I could sooo imagine him sitting outside a Paris cafe (probably Montmatre), smoking a cigarette and discussing art trends and expressions of deep/spiritual ideologies with some like-minded friend. He passed away in 2019 and I miss him a lot.
Hello! I'm a 4w5, and I have a lot to say. First of all, thanks for the video. It kept me informed and entertained throughout! Especially about Instincts and Triads! :) Well, anyways, onto my very Four-ish comment... probably. You nailed everything about the Enneagram Four - from our brooding phases, the dark side, hating the mundane/popular stuff (guilty with this, haha), dealing with deep emotions of ours and other people, the imagined rescuer, and disconnection to seeing the beauty around us and appreciating it as they are. Even our sin Envy tends to stop us from being content with ourselves. As for my personal reflection, I was disconnected from my family and peers early in my childhood to my teenage years. I have a Type One mother and a Type Five sibling. I'm not sure about my father, but he's probably a Type Seven. Maybe this is a very Four situation because some people wouldn't say it directly to me, but when others do, they see me as a "very sensitive and withdrawn yet creative and insightful individual." Due to my wing 5 coming out early in my childhood, I observed a lot of behaviors from people and wished I was them or at least had their outgoing qualities. My peers also refused to teach me anything they knew, so I started to be independent and learn things they did not know or care about. This was when I got really interested in art and music. I had to dig around for hidden gems and share them with people worthy of my trust and friendship. My interest in art became my passion, and I use different mediums to express myself (esp., painting and animation). I also have a very intense imagination which made me interested (and actually made it my undergraduate thesis) in Maladaptive Daydreaming. This made me talk about it more recently and even express my authentic self too! Yay, progress for me :) I found some online friends (I've been friends with some for a decade) who could withstand my raw vulnerability and have the same intensity regarding imagination. However - as you said about Fours - I still undercut my genuine emotions as I'm afraid of "drowning" them or I am too much for them to handle. Currently, I am slowly but surely integrating into Type One. It's hard to change my inner narrative of self-deprecation and self-pity, but I'll take your advice and start with the smallest things! I really need that now because I've been burnout from life recently. Anyways, if you see this, thanks for your time reading my comment! :D
I'm so glad it felt accurate for ya and was helpful to some degree! I appreciate you sharing your personal experience and I'm sure it will resonate with many other 4s. While I'm sorry it's been an exhausting season of life, but it sounds like you've got a foundation of self-awareness to at least navigate the trappings of the ego and hardship of life. Best wishes on the journey!
Advice for growth: 1. ACT: Dont try to feel or think but DO your way out of it - practice tiny acts of self dicipline, like making your bed (no matter the mood). 2. YOU ARE NOT YOUR FEELINGS: Notice, except and let them pass at a specific time and then move on - dont get stuck in selfpity. 3. BLESS OTHERS: Overcome separation and instinct to withdraw by offering your gifts to others, join groups. 4. COMMIT: Overcome narcisitic tendency by commiting to meaningful relationships, that can mirror and confirm a grounded sense of self and can handle your dark emotions. 5. BE KIND TO YOURSELF: Dont use our negative selftalk to justify your bad behaviors. There is a line between feeling guilty for what you've done and feeling ashamed of who you are. Selflove is like writing with the opposite hand.
🥹 Yes, I feel this. I’ve never felt so attacked and seen at the same time. Also INxP, F and T switch for me too when I test. Mistyped myself as 9w1 as a kid, but that was very true to who I was at the time. I feel solidly 4w5 these days
4w5 here and this video is EXTREMELY well done. I've been studying the enneagram for a few years now and you've really done a profound job of ARTICULATING EXACTLY what it is like being a 4. Thanks. ☮
You're always so good with describing instincts - there is so much material available on this topic, but you somehow manage in these few minutes long sections to add value to the conversation. Well done, thank you! It always bugs me when people with great content don't have an audience they deserve. Oh, mad gods of quality-blind algorithms, make this channel more visible! We need Colton to be heard! :)
Hahah I pray those “quality-blind algorithm gods” accept me one day as well!! This was one of the best comments I’ve read in a while, so thank you so much for the kind (and hilarious) words! It really does mean a lot to this fledgling RU-vidr.
Will definitely write down your tips and stick it to my wall... I have SUCH a hard time getting into action and to NOT identify with my feelings, but I want to work on that 100% and adapt more healthy 1 traits - I definitely feel those a lot when things are going well for me :) I loved the categories and pacing in this, keep going pls!
Just recently learned about the instincts and instantly knew I was in the sexual triad. Your description had me cracking up and explained why my past relationships failed miserably before I got to my healthy 4 state. Though I do love that I can bring unique things to the table in my intimate relationships. Been told (and experienced) very spiritual experiences with partners… it’s magical. I love this part about myself BUT it does make finding a partner wildly difficult.
100%! And I also thought wow if my parents heard this they’d feel so hurt (one more than the other) thinking they did something wrong to make me this way lol. But we had a great family life and I am still close with them! It’s just… the circumstances of our life and certain aspects of their personalities and marriage that played a part in me developing into this. And that’s okay!
Really enjoyed this video! Thank you for putting so much hard work into it. I love videos that actually have good valuable information . I appreciate you
4w5. I'm not consistently assertive but it's not usually because I'm timid. My main reason is because I don't want to act histrionic and I have trouble knowing when it's a good idea to speak up about something. Sometimes I think it's petty to be assertive but then again I end up being way more crazily aggressive if I bottle things up
Thank you for your compassion for 4s in this video. I've read that 1's have a tough time with 4's emotions and I have had my fair share of run-ins with impatient 1's. :\
My best friend is a 4 so I do have a loving bias towards them :) but I can’t totally see 1s taking out their wrath on 4s because it’s where they go in disintegration and they can see themselves in you. Here’s another fun watch in case you want to see my friend and fellow 4: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ZMUr1cRr04o.html
Phenomenal video! I’m a 4 with a 5 wing. You described me so well and definitely provided some important insights I couldn’t find elsewhere. I appreciate you
I'm so thankful I’m learning about enneagrams at 24 and not at an older age. I’ve always had this looming fear that I’ll do nothing with my life, and I’ll just live in my mind. If I wasn't focused on emotion and insecure about my limitiions I think I'd live like a seven because that feels like me at my best. I was glad to hear that when you said it. Maybe its possible or just the fantasy version of myself. I want to be a four that actually does something with my life and is fun loving and contributing not the four that is self loathing into old age. Thanks for the insight 🙏
I never knew anything about any enneagram until a few hours ago. Answered the questions, got the results, watched this video and my mind is thoroughly blown. I am going to dig deep into this now. I had always had a curiosity about the man, Gurdjieff. I'm really looking forward to learning more and feeling better about myself and my place in this world.
I have been suffering with depression off and on my entire life, and I retrospect I can see how as I child I had attached myself to some negative emotions that felt real. Truly years of therapy, meditation/medication and even the 1000s of people I’ve met and I hadn’t been able to make sense of myself. Then today my homie told me about enneagrams and how type 4 felt most real to me. Then I see this and am in tears from -actually- being seen/understood for the first time in maybe 7 years. I believe I can start healing now.
I relate with everything… literally everything you said… I’ve never had this kind of accuracy with any personality test… thanks for making this elaborate video
This is brilliant- thank you so much for the insight. Now to fight the feeling of being overwhelmed by another rabbit hole moment of trying to find myself 😂
Haha well I’m glad you enjoyed and I think the enneagram is one rabbit hole worth going down! Best of luck on the soul searching. And if it’s of any comfort, my best friend is a 4 and he’s definitely a great example of “finding himself” and practical self-improvement.
I am IMPRESSED! Really dynamic and thorough presentation, Colton. I’ve been waffling between type 4 and Type 2 awhile, but know that the instincts also are super important in the mix, as well as other factors. Prob will shake out as 4w5, SP/SO, but plan to listen to what you have to say for type 2 as well. I love that you acknowledge nature versus nurture, right off the bat - well done on that. Mostly I just want to thank you for such an impressive rundown on type 4. If this wasn’t created as a masters degree thesis, it’s not too late! Subscribed and sharing. Thanks again. Renge’ 🌟💕🐙💞🌟
Thank you so much for this affirming comment! I'm so glad you enjoyed it and recognize the effort put into it :) Thankfully though, my masters degree is about 10 years behind me at this point haha I certainly don't miss the homework. Thanks for the sub & share!
I quite don't know what type suits me best, but what you described really reminds me of myself. Since childhood, I was told "be special, don't do like everyone else", which can be a prerequisite for becoming a type 4. But now it became a problem, cause I used to be really creative and love making art, but lately it's hard for me to turn on the imagination, because I constantly think "what's the point, there will always be someone better than me." Lately I've become too eager to be successful and popular and and my hobby gradually becoming a burden for me, I'm afraid that I will stop loving what I do because of this. Self-pity is so similar to my behavior, because I compare myself to others and always find out how pity I am... However I don't do anything due to lack of discipline. I agree that it's very important for fours to learn self-discipline and accept their emotions. I practice these things for quite a long time, life has become much easier. You feel more accepted by the world and by yourself when your workplace is neat and you're clean 😂
I’ve been trying to type myself forever. This is the only enneagram video I’ve gotten mad at and had to pause it. I’m a sx 4. Damn. Thanks for this video.
ENFP so4w3 here. This video helps me remember that even though I do have some unhealthy beliefs centered around image in my head, I am still much more healthy than I think. Oh and also wdym I can't just feel it out 🤨🤨🤨 I am my feelings always obviously 🙄🙄🙄
I came in wondering what a type 4 was. I came out thinking of my brother. He does have depression and anxiety, but a lot of the “don’t let 1 mistake be an excuse for 99” and “be kind to yourself” stuff is what we’ve been saying for years. He apologizes so often, one of his teachers in high school put the “GL [his initials] sorry counter” on the board - and that counter got pretty high (and confused more than a few students).
Thank you for sharing this Sophia. One of my best friends is a 4 and we tease him for having the longest, most elaborate text apologies. It’s hard because they do enjoy the attention they get from expressing “woe is me” so often. They know if they get their life together, they may receive less attention/support. Those tender hearts are so endearing and it requires such patience to root for their slow journey of personal growth. Best wishes as you continue to love on your brother throughout his journey!
I just found out about all this! I'm not sure, it seems like I'm a 4w5. This was very detailed and informative. I'm wanting to delve deeper into all this. I love writing and I always strive to understand them better.
Glad you've found the enneagram! Hope my content helps as you continue to reflect on your type. The enneagram institute is full of helpful resources as well :)
You explain rlly well and im so happy to finaly understand myself and others better with your chanel. But i have a question😅 As a type 4 we tend to act like type 1 when we are healthy and productive so i was wondering how do 1s get things done. What is their method for being productive? Do they plan for each day, month, every goal or ? Anyone who is type one please share tips for me😅 i am struggling with self discipline.
why and how is this so accurate?! I've currently been struggling with the tension of wanting to create and release more art while fighting the fear of feeling exposed... I didn't know that it had almost everything to do with me being a 4w3! Because everything you said was soooooo spot on! I will now become very obsessed with you because you've made me feel so seen and understood, haha! :)
Wow, loved this video! This is the first description of a sexual four that I actually feel like it connects with me. But I have to say there was one comment here that really cut deep to what I was like in stress “Don’t settle for the people who can’t handle the dark emotions because they’re willing to attach themselves to you.” - ouch! This was exactly how I was before I went through my own self growth.
So glad it resonated with you! Albeit somewhat painfully :/ I think those “deep cuts” are the true beauty or gift of the enneagram. Anywho, thanks for watching and sharing your experience!!
It finally dawned on me why deciding between the two types 5w4 / 4w5 never actually felt possible, fair, nor completely honest... Though undeniably being these numbers, it's also undeniable that 5w4 covers half of me and 4w5 covers the other half. Like 2 circles next to each other, but being a 3rd circle in the middle overlapping one half of either circle. Consistently relating to only half of either type. Making it almost always seem like I needed to decide/accept one half of me present in one type by betraying, disregarding or diminish value of the other half of me present in the other type.. And then you mentioned the "space in between"..... 👀 I can't fly with only one wing. My heart/feelings give meaning to my head/thoughts and they give reason in return. This crucial and vital combination in balance goes so deep, that bridging the gap between both head/heart to that intense extent, is because doing that is my actual core self. "It's never easy to see at first, what's always hard to hear at last" Essentially making type 'w54w' feel more full circle, hehe. Having it be two wings instead seems vastly more accurate [on a personal level, of course]. Anyway, Thanks for the sparking this weird personal 'in a nutshell' thought I had that genuinely is giving me some peace of mind about the ?which? of the two types conundrum hehe.
Just learning about Enneagrams and myself as a 4 & you Sir, have BLOWN MY MIND!!! 🤯🤯🤯 We’re you talking directly to me?!? I feel like you were since you look STRAIGHT INTO MY SOUL and gave it a BIG HUG!!! In my need for validation & search for acceptance, you made all my dreams come true! Now I am on the road of personal growth, knowing I CAN do this and I do t need to be rescued! BRAVO 👏🏻 👏🏻👏🏻 And thank you SO much for your keen insight! ❤❤❤
Hahah thanks so much for this glowing compliment! Love the emoji usage 🙌 I'm so grateful I could be at all helpful in on the road to personal growth! That's what I got into this work for so it truly makes my heart happy to hear.
I find it a lil strange though, how it is glossed over or not really mentioned how a lot of the issues of thr Type 4 are congruent with childhood trauma victims. Feeling defective/issues with emotion regulation, fears of abandonment yet pushing others away (push pull dynamic) the feeling that something is "missing" inside oneself or feelings of emptiness, being hyperaware or hypervigilant of others' feelings and their own, as well as seeking out their authentic self (likely due to a disconnection from their authentic self in early life). All of these traits are commonly found in people who have experienced some degree of trauma in childhood, usually attachment trauma, or more specifically: childhood emotional neglect or abuse. It would be interesting if that were delved into further. I also know of many enneagram 4's who are neurodivergent, and those who are neurodivergent tend to have many more adverse experiences in early life than that of neurotypicals.
Yes, I agree that much of those traits are tied to trauma, but people take that world to mean so many different things that I don't want to skew the message that even 4s with "loving parents" can still feel unseen, or misunderstood. Our innate temperament has as much to do with it as our experienced trauma IMO.
wow I have just recently found out I am a 4. I am also a Sagittarius Sun, Sag moon and Scorpio rising with a lot of other Scorpio placements. While I consider myself an ambivert, I tend to withdraw into myself a lot. I love deep dark emotions, it´s such a beautiful part of life! I am going through a tough time feeling ¨part of the group¨ in my friendships but it has been like this all my life. Like I have friends but I never felt like they truly understood me. Only a select few do and I am grateful for them. I also have an elitist view of myself and I do think I am special than most which is a horrible thing to think but I´m working on it. This is all so dang accurate and is helping me on my journey to finding my true self, which seems never ending. haha. My goal is to stop this victim mentality. i am meditating daily which helps me a ton. Also, I married a French guy and Tokyo, Japan is my favorite city on earth! I am also a freelance nail art content creator and I enjoy working on my own and having my own business! Thanks for all of this, it really helps to understand why I am the way that I am and how I can apply these tips to becoming the best version of my 4 self
Hey, so, sp/so 4w5 here, and I feel attacked lol I will say though that I didn't relate to everything. Maybe it's just because I'm on the autism spectrum, but I really don't relate to trying to cultivate an visual environment, and I actually focus a lot more on music, personally. In fact, when it comes to things like fashion and interior design, I don't really feel very confident and I'm actually kind of a minimalist. Don't get me wrong, I love me a cozy environment, and maybe it's because of my weird sensory processing, but I much prefer to create a good auditory environment, and my main room preference is actually for it to be dark and to have some kind of music playing in the background. Dark because it's easy on my photosensitive eyes, and music because I just really love music. Honestly, sometimes, I wish I chose to be a musician in life. But that leads me to another thing, and that the fact that I feel the way that 4s are described can often lead 4s who aren't artists to mistype as other types because everyone who talks about them insists that we have to be artists. Again, I'm not neurotypical, so that might have some influence, but my calling was actually in the sciences. I have a very strong 5 wing and 5 is prominent in my tritype as well, and I am actually very intellectually driven and very, very highly opinionated as a result. Hell, my 5 wing is so strong that I've mistyped myself as a 5 in the past. People on the spectrum often have special interests, and my primary two special interests growing up were whales and astronomy. Given that I live in a landlocked state, I ended up going for astronomy at university. I love science fiction, I love EDM music, and I could ramble on for hours about this topic. I also am attracted to writing, but I never felt comfortable with writing as a career. I still write a lot though. Since I'm selectively nonverbal, writing is the best way for me to communicate, and boy can I ramble on for obscene amounts of time at obscene hours on the internet or inventing elaborate imaginary scenarios that I really ought to put to paper someday. Speaking of which... I should probably go to bed. Just wanted to throw it out there. 4s that are more intellectually driven than artistically driven, you exist and you are valid. You're probably not a 5, especially if you're like me and you're typed as an INFP in MBTI or IEI in socionics, people are just really bad at describing us as anything other than tortured artists. Got plenty of tortured STEM nerds out there too.
Thanks for leaving your personal experience! I definitely don't ascribe to the belief that 4s are "the creative enneagram type" because every enneagram type can be incredibly creative. I do know other 4s that are music-minded and sound very similar to you. However! When you say you like a dark, minimalistic environment, that is a visual preference to a space that allows the music to shine ;) Thanks for the reminder about tortured STEM nerds too haha lots of innovative folks find it hard to live in the present reality (aka feel "tortured").
I enjoy your channel a lot. Lots of insightful comments too. That being said, I don't get the 4-Envy thing. I was content discovering I was a 4 until I learned from this channel and other sources that Fours biggest flaw is ENVY. Could the fact that I am a 4W5 (I have almost zero affinity with Group 3, compared to the other 8 groups) make me an exception? I admit I do compare my life & values to others but I don't "judge" them per se. (OK, I may get to feeling a little superior.) The ideas of Equality and everybody moving at their own speed on different paths to the same goal resonate for me. In fact, I feel bad for folks who don't agree. So what's to envy? Am I being self-delusional? I'm new to enneagrams having focussed on MBTI and mysticism in my search for self-discovery. (Plus, there are so many museums, theaters, books, movies, and TV shows to watch who's got time to squander it on a vice like Envy?) Do I not understand the definition?
I so appreciate the advice of self-discipline and how straightforward and encompassing it is. This is totally the way to go. When I get into a depressive breakdown, it's like this breaking of a dam of negative emotions that I don't even believe roaring in my head and there's almost a comfort in the wallowing that makes me not want to stop feeling it. So the elegance of "do something small but helpful" is brilliant to get out of the loop of emotion. ❤
So much of this is so scarily accurate! I think it took until my 40s and 50s (now I'm 51) to really harness the emotions for my creativity. I'm now in this sweet spot where I feel my head and heart are really working in balance. I've become very spiritual. I can feel my feelings but then go on with my days. I feel them and move through them or process or resolve them now, rather than getting stuck in them or having them stay in my body. I really love where I am at these days, and it feels so free!
I’m a 4. Talented singer, songwriter, musician. My recorded songs are ignored by radio and people. I couldn’t be happier with my songs. Melodic, poppy and interesting lyrics. Space Engineer, Memory Trip (RU-vid album) Spotify, Sound Cloud.
Yup...I'm a 9 lol But I think I deffinately leaned more towards 4 as a kid, always feeling like no one would ever understand me, always stuck in melancholy and believing I'd never find the missing piece. Years later and a few traumas later none of theese things are true for me anymore. The idea of the "saviour" now sounds so ridiculous and childish but it was exactly what I was fantasising about as a young teen. I like how theese systems can really help you to get to know yourself better and show you how much you actually can change with time and experience.
bruh, you read my mail... wht? i feel like ive been sent to the principals office here for non compliance and not reaching my potential lol. is but too true. partner free for most of my life- ouch- that one stung... its just bad manners to point that one out. sincerely, 4w5 sx
Thank you so much for such a well crafted and intentional video. I found this exceptionally informative as I’m just now learning what a type 4 is. By the way, completely agree with others that it feels strange yet comforting for a stranger to almost know me without ever meeting. Subscribed and looking forward to learning more!
Hey there im a 4w5 and this video was very informative and brilliantly presented thank you! I think one aspect about 4w5's thats mostly incorrect is that they like conflict and arguing. I can say that definitely isn't true for me, I really dislike conflict and hurting other people's feelings and i often feel guilty afterwards. 4w5's can struggle to express themselves creatively and emotionally at times, it actually is something I've talked to with other 4w5's and many have said this to me, I've experience it often myself, it's very difficult to put our very rich boundless imagination and feelings in the real world at times and it leads to a lot of frustration or being misunderstood by others. in fact at times 4w5's can seem very cold and detached especially if we don't know you well, but definitely isn't the case! Finally another interesting thing about 4w5's I've personally noticed is externally in how we present ourselves in a more reserved but authentic to ourselves way while a 4w3's presentation is very different and usually more eye catching and extravagant. For example in metal concert you see many people dress up in the fashion for the occasion and often have many tattoos etc. A 4w5 would turn up with tracksuit pants, blue trainers and a bright yellow Spongebob hoodie 😂.Just a funny quirk a lot of 4w5's have many people don't mention or notice.
Glad you found the video so informative! I'm a bit confused though, because I don't say anything about 4w5s liking conflict in my section on the wings.
Hey man this is way too good and helpful an analysis for you to have so few subscribers. Subscribed, and thanks. I hope your channel grows like cabbage, as we say in Dutch.
I hope it grows like cabbage as well! Thanks for the kind words & support. It’s definitely hard to grow a RU-vid channel organically in 2022, but it’s still such a joy everytime these videos find their way to kind, interested folks such as yourself.
My pleasure! And we all have a splash of traits from both wings, as you described feeling, despite most folks having a clear leaning to one side or the other.
I related to so much of what you said but do any other 4s not resonate at all with wanting a 'saviour'? I have always felt a need for independence- how can someone so unique as a 4 ever depend on another person who will never think and feel the same way?
It's more about an unhealthy ego message that 4s often deal with during stressful seasons when they feel "stuck" or have made too many bad decisions to recover from. 4s are emotionally dramatic, so they end up pining for someone who could come "sweep them up and take them away from it all." That's more of the savior thing I mentioned, hope that helps clarify :)
"You're gonna need to find someone who can handle all of your raw vulnerabilities and dark emotions that got brooding within you...but don't settle for the people that can't handle that just because they've willing to attach themselves to you"....ayo u been spying on me for years? 😂 Great work with this video! I originally tested as a 6 but it didn't feel quite right, so when u said that in the intro, i already KNEW u was gonna enlighten me! Also, nice touch on the sexual intuition!
I dislike writing anything rn but you owned my tiny little comment. So 'thank you', 'spot on', 'excellent video', 'I love you', come on, have a bunch of these.
EDIT (for title only): LOG 2: Type 4, START[5, HERE] 2nd Enneagram Guide I've watched (first was Type 5). I'm noticing a little how certain deep truths might overlap between them, suggesting there are distinctions that I might be picking up or at least will need to pick up. I thought I'd be an individualist because of my long desire to create my own original cartoon, something that I could put a name to, but that does seem to lean towards type 3 stereotypes a bit, and I'm not 100% sure if I'm a 4w3, so Type 3 Guide is on my schedule at some point. I'm not much of a dark humour person, heck, I tend to shy away from swears and sex jokes a lot and I've been surprised recently that dark humour disturbs me when I'm a little more honest with my emotions, versus my perceived numbness when I try to be intellectual about any patterns I notice (patterns that tend to both specific and shallow, such as recognising dark humour broadly when its there but reacting to it as if I know every niche of dark humour when I don't) Writing this, I want to identify those patterns and have all this stuff figured out to get a perceived power from it that can help organise my world or let me control my thoughts. The broad idea of control in Type 8 entices me to see that Guide next too. I may have exhibited very light type 4 traits such as having a sense of mystery to seem impressive when I was younger, and I have dampened that aspect to integrate and reflect into my developing understanding of society. I can change faces quite a bit, but my images are stabilising and I usually change faces very deliberately to hide my cards so to speak, which ends up not being too often. The rescuer trait is definitely one I had very strongly, and in some ways I still have it but maybe not to the point of being a type 4, as that rescuer trait is itself an obstacle to me, calling upon my knowledge and experience to overcome it so I can get a stronger sense of self by having that independency, but I'm unsure of this point. I am curious what other types exhibit oversharing traits since, from this hyper long comment, I feel I have a bit of that, but I'll watch the Guides first and make my conclusions as I go.
Jeremy reed from powder and annikan Skywalker. I believe are true examples of four. Powder overcame his differences and joined the bigger picture of life and annikan succumbed to them and destroyed his life
I was unsure if my friend was a 4w5 or a 4w3 until he said, "if the social four has a five wing, they usually cope by creating or joining an outsider group with people on the fringe of society who actively critique the mainstream world." My friend is in a small, private, and progressive art college. Definitely a 4w5.
I really liked your video! I didn't really relate to the 'childhood experience' part, but the rest was spot on for me. Could that be because my parent is also a 4?
Glad ya enjoyed it! Can I ask what your relationship with your parents was like growing up? I know that’s a personal question for the ole RU-vid comment section, but it will help me better answer your question :)
Loved this-so dang accurate. And helpful. When you went to countries, I was sure you’d say Russia. I feel France has an attraction to the glamorous side of type 4 themes, but it’s not really living there. Whereas Russia strikes me as embodying the experience. I’ve never been to Russia so I could be very wrong about that. Just a feeling, that’s all. Very fun and informative all around. Thank you so much for making this.
So glad you enjoyed it! I've always thought Russia seemed rather 6ish in it's adherence to a strict authority that has put them into centuries of war and communism. The France part is more about being the country most drawn to aesthetics (high fashion & quality art) while also having a kinda of melancholy arrogance to them...but all just symbolic conversation! No science to it :)
Hmmm well 4s rarely mistype themselves as 5s because 4s are such deep feelers full of emotional angst, melancholy, or even depressive feelings. 5s live in their head and are far more stoic/cold intellectuals. If you're identifying with both, I'd throw a curve ball your way, and ask if you relate to type 9 at all? 9s are also withdrawn types, have both deep feelings they repress AND are very observational in nature. Plus 9s have the hardest time identifying their type (along with 6s that is).
@@YouveGotaType Thanks for the advice :) I've concluded that I'm a 5w4 with a sexual/self preserving instinct. I think the sexual instinct is why I'm more emotional than most other 5's... But, I'll consider the type 9 idea later, although I haven't really connected to that type...
At first, watched these videos to help with my character design and writing because I wanted to give my original characters consistant personalities... 🤔 Now I figured out that I am a type 4 wing 5 because you described me to a T! (I'm also an INxJ, Feeling and Thinking are split half and half for me...) Your videos have helped me understand various types of people and myself better, thanks!💡✨ Though, I think the idea of chasing a rabbit down the rabbit hole over finishing the work started and detaching myself from reality makes me wonder I could have been Alice from Alice in Wonderland if I were a fairytale character. 😅🐰
Very insightful, Cole! Love and respect to you. Type 4w3 here. You captured it all! Learned a lot about aspects I was unaware of - the instincts and triads. Immediately subscribed for your potent advice and wisdom! Peace. ❤
Hey I have a question. I'm writing a character who i want to make a type 4. Please read below because I'd like to hear your thoughts. Character Backstory: Being at first a demon who had loving parents that warned her of the council being dangerous. However, Christine at a young age believed the council could still be good and tried to change them only for be captured and lose her memory. Since she can't remember who she is or her really parents, she is stuck in the past trying to remember who she is and established herself as a moody person under the council's rule. Despite the council nurturing her and telling her than her real parents abandoned her, she thinks something is missing out of their story. She doesn't like her "parents" of the council or the council at all due to their actions and because of her seemingly being the only one in the council with this opinion, it makes her think something is wrong with her for feeling this way. Does this check out for individualist type? idk.
Really great insights and clear explanation! I feel like as a 4 (I guess, with wing 5), I am feeling "different" to other people. Feeling my way of thinking or the way I see things is just somewhat different, but also longing to connect deeply... Is this common for type 4s? Those are two contradicting experiences don't you think? Anyway thanks for the video :)
Glad you enjoy it! I see those as parallel experiences, but yes, they create friction because most people are can only connect with folks that think/act the way they do. I'd say it raises the bar for the kind of people you're willing to accept into your life as only healthy, integrated folks can handle intimacy with someone that navigates the world so differently than they do.
I’m a 4 with a 5 wing and I’m beyond obsessed with Japan. Their level of beauty, mindfulness, introspection and sophistication of every fabric of their culture just impresses me beyond words because it is deeply rooted in Zen and Shintoism. I feel like they are soooo deep and beautiful, from their music to their language and anime and all that. They are able to express the inexpressible that I have not found in western culture. And it’s interesting because Japanese culture has found inspiration from the French too. I don’t care much for the French but Japan I have idolized since forever. My ideal lover is the Buddha or the Holy Spirit or Jesus Christ- but they are enlightened so he wouldn’t go for a human being so I have to get to that level to feel that kind of love. The human romantic love paradigm is horribly disappointing and I aspire to something higher than the cesspool of disappointed. Yes I have a desire to be special, and fit pretty accurately to a 4. Luckily I have a wing of 5 so I also align my mind with the rational teachings of spirituality that help me elevate my mind to the divine sense and not get stuck in dark brooding emotions. I have learned to sit in meditation with my own feelings and cultivate self awareness, but also to pray to change my thoughts to a higher more loving level, so that I can be healthy and balanced
