Family Thinks The Bride’s Dress Is Too Sexy For A Traditional Church Wedding | Say Yes to the Dress 

They could've had the first two dresses lined... 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Why didn't the salesperson not get help! Ridiculous and a waste of time!

I loved her in the first gown. I thought a coverup of some sort would have fixed the problem. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I like the brides taste. I wish all her “friends” were more supportive and the parents would lighten up.

I think that's why she has tried on so many dresses already: her style is sexy & flashy, which no one else likes. She needs to just go w/ what she wants because her family & friends aren't going to support her style. But this is also difficult because she's not paying for the dress 🤷

@@Janexcalibur well it's not her who paid for the dress.so she had to suck it up & go with it.unless she's paying it by herself then there's lots of freedom.the westerners commenting here should get that asian families are diff than theirs.

She seems very sweet and she’s so pretty. 💕

"Taste" is a relative term. She wanted to look ultra-sexy for her wedding and does not want to understand that that violates her parents' and friends' sense of appropriate taste. They want her dressed like a person beginning a responsible relationship and not like a pole dancer in Vegas.

I think the issue is that it's inappropriate for the venue. If she was getting married at a reception hall or a park then it wouldn't matter. Her parents are also from a country where women have to cover their knees and shoulders to go to the shops

A good consultant would have found a gown that matched her desire for sparkle and princess and yet satisfied her parents' requirements that it be appropriate for a church wedding. As the wedding is being held overseas, in a more conservative country, this is not optional. This consultant heard 'sexy' and brought out a succession of Panina gowns...a designer known to be the least appropriate for church weddings on the market. I was disgusted with the see through gown. Even the bride to be knew better than to show it to her parents. My solution would be either purchase 2 gowns near or under budget...1 for church, the other for the reception, or use a demi jacket as a shoulder cover for a gown that's more revealing. Simple solutions...smh.

Buy ur own wedding dress & get what u want

I agree… definitely a situation that could have been fixed with a ceremony gown, and a reception gown.

In her case, I don't think this would solve it because she just wants to dress sexy in general which her parents aren't going to support.

@@tytemind7850 Bingo. Mans pay $10k plus, mans has input 😅

She was getting married in Indonesia, in a church. Indonesia is very, very conservative. She already decided that her wedding dress was to be more conservative when she decided on the venue and let her father pay for a $10,000 dress. If she doesn't like that, she can change all her other choices. She sounds very entitled. She understands her parents, her culture, and her church. Yet she thinks she can go against all of them to get the most blinged-out, sexy dress in the store. An expensive one even, that will be free to her. Sorry, but life isn't like that. Her parents and entourage know what kind of dress will be acceptable for HER choice of wedding venue, and she will not listen. If you expect her parents to by ok with and pay for and expensive dress that will make them shunned in their home country, you are mistaken.

@@catladyfromky4142 parents will hardly be shunned.....they might have expected this when they sent their daughter off to study and live in a western country. If they were so conservative they should have kept her in their own country. And in her culture its the parenrs who buy the dress, so theyre not doing her any special favours by footing the bill....since we are talking about culture, those big weddings are as much for the parents to show off as about making their daughter happy. But they are using that as a way to control her choices and that is so sad. I'm speaking as an Asian mom of 2 daughters who study in the West.

@@catladyfromky4142 You're making too much in these comments

Yep Randy is just a media ho.

@@catladyfromky4142 I agree. And she kept saying "oh you want me to cover this?" as if she didn't already know that. 🙄 You can't always have your cake and eat it too, but it seems like that's exactly what she expected, and for everyone to give in to what she wanted. She should've just gotten married in the US and paid for her own dress if she wanted this flashy, 'sexy' look.

the kleinfeld episodes are basically just "won't somebody PLEASE buy these $10,000 lingerie contraptions by pnina?!" that lady needs to be out of a job YESTERDAY, who the hell even buys her dresses?

@dietotaku Apparently some people like Pnina's dresses, since she is still in business. If you haven't noticed, brides in other cultures sometimes have very sexy gowns with lots of bling. And she is from the ME, where that is very popular. Just because you (and I) don't like those dresses doesn't mean that no one else does. That is a good thing, since there are tons of other designers for you and I to pick from. It's a big bridal gown world.

They usually do, but leave it out for the sake of drama on the show

Or she didn't want it lined she wanted it see through

Here before it goes viral!

Forget that, 5 appointments!!! 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

Typical of this bridal boutique. I was annoyed with Paula for showing this bride another see-through bodice dress after the first one was vetoed. I know the bride wanted something "sexy" ie tacky and cheap looking but Paula should have shown her classy sexy dresses.

@@stephanieyee9784 True.

Just about to type that

👏👏👏👏👏

I can tell you why - trying on an already made dress makes all the difference. You can like a certain style - maybe even design it with the designer for you personally. But when it is made, it may not look or FEEL right at all! I have seen that happen!🥺

Sorry, not possible. She was getting married in a church in Indonesia. With 600 Indonesian guests. If she changed the venue, bought her own tacky $10,000 dress, or even wanted to estrange herself from all her relatives and town in Indonesia, she could get the sexy dress. But she wants everyone else (including the Church in Indonesia) to change their standards. Not. Going. To. Happen.

Her entourage wasn't pushy at all. Americans have the distasteful habit of ignoring the cultural and religious practices of people outside of the mainstream culture of the USA. The wedding is being held in a church in a conservative country. What does the Consultant do? Ignore the bride's request to find a middle of the road gown that would satisfy both herself and her parents. It's doable, but his Consultant brings out a succession of low cut, boob-revealing dresses, one of them SEE THROUGH!!! Ridiculous. Kleinfeld and the consultant deserved to miss that sale and commission!

@@catladyfromky4142 Exactly. I was infuriated with the behavior of the consultant here. So disrespectful. When she put the bride to be in that see through dress, I was so done with her. I felt that the consultant was completely discounting the family's culture and religious values.

@@catladyfromky4142Hello, she's had 5 appointments at Klieinfeld! It's not just about this one. I understand that she needs to please her family and church, but that should be possible within 5 appointments. I agree with the others that the consultant did a bad job though.

She can't buy whatever she wants because her father is paying just like in many Asian households. And Asian culture tends to defer to the opinions of parents as well. She can choose to pay for the dress and stand her ground if she likes.

Best observation yet

I think she should go to a designer who can design a 2-piece dress with alternate bodices. One is blinged out with a lower-cut sweetheart, and another more understated for Church. Because it appears as though neither the parents nor the bride want to change their opinions for what she should wear.

perfect!

Agree with you

Exactly!

Yeah there's a lot of Indonesian designer that could do so much better than this one like Christine Basil.

She should fly to Lancanshire to be styled by Gok.

Gok and Lancashire do NOT have the dresses she would like. She wants Swarovski crystals and high-end designer. I don't understand why you think that Gok can magically conjure up a dress like that. Considering Kleinfeld has more dresses than Lancashire (and at the higher price point she wants), she would NOT be happy there. Besides, she has no need for his therapeutic touch.

Yes

F

F

I thought her parents were rich as well because she acted spoiled. And she was crazy.

@@pennwoman hahahaha

@@pennwoman 😂

As a Southeast Asian myself, I know she comes from a rich and influential family just learning of her guests and the price tag her parents are ready to fork out. It is the same in my country where the rich and influential celebrate weddings and even special birthdays (like the 18th) lavishly.

@@whatevergoesforme5129 Hey there , fellow southeast Asian!!!

My thoughts exactly 💯

kleinfeld is happy to sell 2 dresses to a bride, but you have to say the magic words: "unlimited budget." that way they can sell you TWO $10,000 dresses instead of just one. no way in hell are they showing a bride with a $10k budget the $3k dresses, no matter how many she needs for the big day.

I think the problem is that this bride would not be happy with any dress that is less expensive than the $10,000 budget. She wants flashy and show-stopping. A $3,000 dress would not suffice. I really don't think the consultant is thinking about the commission. They sell expensive dresses all day long, and if the bride doesn't say "yes" there is no commission in the first place. Their first consideration is the bride. And this bride wants EXPENSIVE. (And too trashy for a church wedding IMO.) Lots of people work on commission. Waiters. Car salespeople. Their first consideration is to make the customer happy. Full stop. That is the only way they will make their money. Pushing the boundaries only to make another $100 would not be worth it, especially since the appointments are time-restrained.

She could've easily spent $5,000 on each dress.

Usually yes. If she was getting married in a church in America it would be a great idea. But she is getting married in Indonesia. Even not in the church society is very conservative. Those sexy gowns would still upset a lot of people and create a lot of scandal.

So true. Especially in Indonesia, Africa, or the Philippines. Those Christians tend to be more conservative, and the parental approval is needed so much more.

@@catladyfromky4142 I believe that it is also true in many Western churches. Not even the royals can go against this requirement.

Absolutely agree.

Oh wow I just noticed that. Greedy consultants back at it again!

Very tacky! I agree.

They both tacky, best for syrip show not church wedding, plus the outrageous cost over her budget AGAIN!! Sell, sell push these out the door pathetic method... Besides the poor gaudy dress design anyway period!

This is her 5th trip. They are running out of options. And she wants a showstopper with lots of "tacky" Swarovski crystals. And those aren't cheap. And she is a big girl. She could say no to trying it on. Why can't the consultant show her the dress so she can decide for herself? It is not a crime.

Totally agree. With her budget being so high, her need to impress her guests is heightened. And she wants a dress that her parents do not approve of. So, IMO, they need to work out a compromise before she goes back to any salon. More money for 2 dresses? Go to a dressmaker who can make a detachable bodice, one with bling and one without? But the issue is with her and her parents having different, totally conflicting views about what she should wear. Once they can decide how both needs can be met, she can look again.

The fact this woman is Indonesian and getting married in Indonesia should have been a flag to Paula to Not show her the tackiest dresses in the shop.

@@stephanieyee9784 the problem is those tacky dresses are clearly what the bride likes best. she wants a big fat gypsy wedding, basically.

The bride wanted to try on those dresses. The "tacky" dresses were the ones she liked the best. Sexy, rhinestones and/or Swarovski crystals, etc. When the bride comes in and asks for a type of dress, the consultant usually tries to show her those. That is what she did. Only when the parents were adamant against the Pnina dresses did she go for the classier ones. But, as you notice, the bride didn't like those. She liked the "trashy" ones better. The only reason why she didn't "say yes" to those trashy ones is because her parents and entourage did not approve.

The problem is that her taste goes against the values of her culture. If she picks a sexy dress, she will scandalize the honor of her family, which is a big no no. She's in a no win situation. For a church wedding in a conservative culture, she must go with what her culture dictates or risk the reputation of her family. Asia has a collectivist mentality, i.e. the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the individual.

I just don't get why she couldn't cover up in a jacket (even from organza or something) or a bolero/cardigan or whatever really. Those straps on the last dress were hideous and those few centimeters of extra fabric aren't much more conservative than the previous one. The one with slit in the front was inappropriate yeah, but. And the see through they could've made adjustments/put fabric under it to not make it see through? They did that before. I loved the second to last dress though. With or without that cover-up. Too bad it wasn't her taste.

Whenever I hear "It's a Pnina" I know it's going to be lingerie-as-gown, surely by now brides to be all know this going in?

On the other hand, the bride has already been there four times and even Kleinfelds is probably running low on options that might please both the bride and her parents. I wish we could have seen a little retrospective of what gowns she had rejected previously--for all we know, she had already gone through the Lazaro designs (not tried all of them on but tried on a few and rejected the others without trying on). The consultant may also have been trying the shock tactic on the parents--show them a couple really revealing gowns, so that they would be more likely to approve something less revealing but more conservative than the first two gowns.

I totally get your comment. But most see-through dresses can come with a detachable panel for more modest brides. I personally don't understand why a bride would choose on of these see-through dresses and then cover up what makes the dress stand out, but many do. And this bride was wanting more extravagant type of sexy dresses that Pnina usually designs. And since Pnina is almost exclusive at Kleinfeld, I can see why the consultant would try another one of those, because the bride would not find it anywhere else. But I wanted them to try a Lazarro or maybe a Ian Stewart, because those also can be very elaborate and sexy, but in a more classy way. Too bad for the bride for not finding her dress.

@@catladyfromky4142 I think some parents may have been willing to say yes to a flesh toned underlayer but, ,mmmmm, not these parents. I think the consultant had figured out exactly what the bride wanted: Pnina! Not my taste, either, but if we all wanted the same thing, the world would be a boring place indeed. Makes me wonder if the bride is just trying to wear her parents down. Looked to me like she's also wearing her friends down as well. Five appointments! I have friends from high school (more than 50 years ago) and I gotta say, I wouldn't have been up for more than two, or maybe three, of those appointments. I can see a possible reason the bride doesn't appear to be considering a custom designed dress--my father comes from southeast Asia and it's very easy to find custom designed clothing. A dress from the US, on the other hand, is conspicuous consumption and high status.

@GrainneDhu The panels come in white so the "see-through" aspect is taken away. I think the parents did not like the flashy, sexy dresses with the low-cut bodice. The problem is that those are exactly what the bride wants. IMO, she needs 2 dresses that can accommodate both interests.

She needs new friends honestly

You clearly do not understand the culture in which she is getting married.

@@LaurieAnnCurry but I do understand the culture. I am of asian descent as well. But I still think she could use a better group of friends as well.

@@LaurieAnnCurry yes actually I do know Indonesian culture very well. We both watched the same video so i understand what’s going on, plus I took a course on Indonesian studies at UCLA. Her parents are looking for her to be covered up and modest, she’s clearly trying to break away from that mold and be who she wants be. I’m not saying she’s being defiant towards her parents because she clearly wants their opinions as well. I’m just saying that shes young and more Americanized than her parents. Her fashion taste reflects more modern, glamorous dresses that have a little bit of sexual appeal. With that said, being at Klinefeld 5x and trying on 50 dresses is pretty ridiculous just to find a wedding dress. She’s wasting more on travel than on the actual dress.

I don't know if being less conservative means having good taste but her parents are the ones funding her wedding and she could have chosen a simple one in a garden with fewer guests so that she doesn't need to follow any rules given by the church.

In her culture, if the dress was deemed inappropriate, she will be talked about forever.

@@ruthpowell1944 Very true and in conservative cultures, they pay a lot of attention to what you wear.

@@ruthpowell1944 Only by the fakes

@@ruthpowell1944 Only by the unfriendly fake religious people who are toxic and can be easily blocked and kicked from her life

The problem is that her taste goes against the values of her culture. If she picks a sexy dress, she will scandalize the honor of her family, which is a big no no. She's in a no win situation. For a church wedding in a conservative culture, she must go with what her culture dictates or risk the reputation of her family. Asia has a collectivist mentality, i.e. the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the individual.

The friends are supporting he. If she feels so strongly to dress against her conservative parents and church she may as well jus pay for her dress and marry in different location.

Yes. The BRIDE wanted the sexy dresses. The last dress was something everyone loved, but it wasn't sexy enough for her. So apparently they were more in tune with what the bride would have said "yes" to with the sexy ones. So, yes, they DID listen.

Gok Wan would have had her sorted in one appointment.

Why do you write that? The dress this bride wanted was to be different and "show-stopping." Lancashire doesn't have what she wants. Especially considering her budget is so high. Lancashire does not have as many dresses as Kleinfeld, so the chance that she would find a dress with Gok when she couldn't find one here is slim to none. Kleinfeld has Pnina, dresses with rhinestones, actual dresses that cost $10,000, and more dresses period. Lancashire has none of those. I don't understand why so many of you get so emotionally bonded with Gok. Is it because every one of his episodes has a bride with some sort of disability or need for therapy? Every episode of every SYTTD has a plotline, and Gok's are usually to help heal a struggling bride. That is great, and I applaud that. But you also need to look at that as a reason for you to throw Gok onto this pedestal as some sort of bridal god. He is not. And no bride wanting what this bride wants would be happy with the selection at that salon.

@@catladyfromky4142 you keep copy pasting that on damn near every comment. Chill and go do something productive.

@jodileamomoftwinsPLUS1 FYI, I don't copy and paste. I am just fed up with people who blindly think that Gok and Lancashire (where he has never actually been an employee) are perfect for every bride.

I agree that the stylist makes all the difference…this one did not even listen to the needs of the bride the parents and the location…

Well thats what i dont understand She definitely likes dresses NOT suited for church WHICH IS FINE but she either has to give up in the church to get her dream dress or give up and buy a dress she kinda likes or just get a dress for chuch for the family and another one for after ( especially with her 10k budget )

Or get a customized dress made

@somebody Or she can buy her own $10,000 dress and be ok with all her relatives, her Indonesian town, and her Indonesian church disowning her.

And that's one reason I refuse to marry in a church. Pointless with rules I refuse to follow.

My suspicion is that she is about to (or has already had depending on when this episode was filmed) have her parents' version of her wedding rather than her own. I.e. her parents want her to have a church wedding with 600 guests in Indonesia (does someone her age even know 600 people? Are her friends going to be able to fly to Indonesia for the ceremony?, etc.). So, I am unconvinced that she 'wants to' have a church wedding so much as her parents decided she is going to have a church wedding. Consequently, they have a different idea of what the dress should be. I suspect this difference of ideas on whose wedding it is is central to the bride's supposed indecisiveness and inability to commit to a dress. She clearly knows what she wants, she is just unable to have it. If the parents have that much say on the dress, my bet is that they are in charge of the whole of the rest of the wedding too.

They were exhausted this is the 5th time they were there

The wedding was to be in Indonesia. In a church. With over 600 Indonesian guests. Not in the US. And, in Indonesia, they are very religiously conservative and apply much emphasis to respecting one's elders. So apparently the entourage was needed to ensure that the bride kept all that in mind. Because all the dresses the bride wanted went against her parents, and she knew it. And the last dress had most, but not all of the things she wanted AND was loved by her parents and entourage. But she didn't want it. She wants her cake and to eat it too. That is not possible. She turned down a free (to her) $9000 dress. To me, the problem is her, not her entourage.

She didn't find her dress though.

Simple solution, don't get married in a church if you hate the rules. Pick a venue where you can wear whatever you like. She doesn't seem to be religious anyway. 🙄

@@leahpope8672 She has a conservative family who's paying for the wedding. It's probably not so easy to go against family and cultural expectations.

@@angrydonutface7420 So she should know how to compromise if she is not willing to stand her ground and I suspect she is the usual rich kid who gets an allowance from rich daddy which is usually the case in Southeast Asia and many parts of the world (I am Southeast Asian myself). A transparent lace bolero will do the trick.

This episode was before Randy got back into designing

This is her 5th visit to Kleinfeld. 5th. She has probably tried on all the other ones within her budget, LOL.

@@catladyfromky4142 I can’t believe this is her 5th time and she still can’t get a dress. She needs to have one custom made.

She wants Swarovski, sheer, corseted bodices, and "show stopper." All that equals Pnina.

the veil and tiara do match the dress well but that skirt was so PLAIN! just a big ol' wad of tulle. they need to save the tulle for the underskirts and pull some ballgowns with head-to-toe bling. and i know they exist, they just probably aren't on the pnina-skank-stripper-zillionaire-tornai rack.

But she looked miserable in it, she wasn’t smiling and so people like you are narcissist who don’t focus on the brides face and their mouths and how they look, if they are not smiling or happy than do you think they would want to be your friend afterward if they got married in something she hated deeply?

This is not about being mean. It's about Indonesian culture and their value system, which is not that of the west. You cannot judge something that you know nothing of. She's in a no win situation.

@@kp4911 I saw a grown woman who looked really happy in a beautiful dress who got told no by her mom and dad like she was a child … I don’t care what the circumstances are it’s sad.

And I didn’t say mean you did

@@themissmay I also saw a grown woman who was willing to let daddy foot the bill for the dress and the lavish wedding in Indonesia instead of putting her foot down, saying she won't need to be married inside a church (that is also conservative in many Western countries as a rule), and she will be pay for her own dress. And if she insists on wearing a revealing and sexy wedding dress, she will find out the hard way, and embarrassing at that, that no priest or pastor will marry her inside a church wearing something they forbid. She needs a sheer bolero to cover her arms and shoulders. As a Southeast Asian myself, I know the rules she needs to follow if she agrees to be married inside a church in Indonesia. If she doesn't like it, change the venue, but then again, daddy is paying. But she is doing her best to wear her parents down. I wonder who won LOL?

Her parents are paying for it so there’s that... if she wants things done her way then she needs to pay herself.

She wanted details that are very expensive. Crystals, bodices with exposed corsets, and others that were "show stopper." All that screams high-end designer, and one cannot find that in a cheaper dress.

So true.

Yup, it feels like she just wants attention and other things.

Or she's only trying to convince herself she wants to marry him. Most brides pick the first one they try on because they love it and can't wait to marry their fiance.

Betoooollll

She must be very rich Btw How is it in Indonesia tho ? Do people really spend that much money on weddings ? Also I heard that most of the Asian families are way conservative than this one, is that true ? I’m just curious

Not just for an Indonesian, but for anyone. The average person would not blow $10000 on a wedding dress.

@@The_Moving_finger_writes Yeah. There is a research saying that Indonesia is one of the most religious communities on earth. So, older generations, regardless of religion, are quite conservative. I am a Moslem. And I have never really seen anyone going to church with dress with hemline higher than knees. Whoever vacationing to our temples, the organizer will require them to wear traditional cover-ups. Because the Buddhists and Hinduists feel uncomfortable with tourists wearing shorts in their temples.

Of course she is. Her parents most probably sent her abroad to study and now they have a daughter with a "Westernized" outlook just by looking at her dress on this show and her preference for revealing wedding dresses. She acted just like many pampered rich kids in my Southeast Asian country that is not as conservative as Indonesia but will also frown on revealing wedding dresses inside a church.

She SEEMS so sweet but she is actually passive-aggressive.

Not really.She seems like a spoiled brat to me.

She looked like a high priced h00ker.

But there is nothing wrong with modest looks. Not everyone wants to reveal their body for all the world to see. To each her own.

@@whatevergoesforme5129 modest people are ugly tho. They always dress in the worst ugliest clothes and have the worst fashion sense and look like they’re parents when they were teenagers and look like they’re trying to hard to fit in with society and trying way too hard too look OLD. They are not themselves, they’re trying way to hard to fit in with all of these trends of being modest and old.

@@marissaharp6197 Okay, if you think so. But for me, I find Catherine Duchess of Cambridge as a modest and classy dresser. Maybe your idea of modesty is looking like a nun.

@@whatevergoesforme5129 i never said there was anything wrong with them. I just think they're boring 😴

Kleinfeld has the biggest selection in the US. IDK if there is another salon in the world with a larger inventory, but I am sure she probably looked into it.

@@catladyfromky4142 Really? But the dresses are so overpriced. I find many of them tacky and ugly but so expensive.

Because she wants the prestige associated with buying her dress at Kleinfield

Disrespectful? They were very polite. And how are Asian parents insecure? Because they are conservative?

It's a church wedding. Churches have dress codes. She needs to respect that too, otherwise just don't have a church wedding.

She is marrying in a church in Indonesia. Which is probably very conservative. She needs to pick which is more important to her - her dress or her location. You want a conservative group of 600 people in a culture that puts a lot of emphasis into respecting one's elders to change for her. Not going to happen.

They did provide her with more options. With the last one, everyone loved the dress but her. And she didn't buy it. So obviously she will not compromise on the sexiness and blingy details. She wanted the sexy ones, so they kept showing her those and tried to alter them to see if the parents would approve. To me, that is all that the consultant could do in order to make everyone happy. And the bride wanted everyone to be happy.

this WAS the 5th appointment. i hope her 6th appointment was with a seamstress to have 2 dresses custom-made.

Me too. But obviously the bride doesn't want to compromise. IMO, she needs to have a long conversation with her parents about what is acceptable and if she can have more her way during the reception. If so, she needs to find a designer to make a 2-piece dress with alternate bodices. Otherwise, she and her parents are just spinning their wheels. The types of dresses each wants are on opposite sides of the spectrum. If she doesn't want to go down the aisle in her skivvies, she needs to do something.

@@catladyfromky4142 Thats what she needed to do after the 5 appointments

True. It should have occurred to her to do that after the 1st appointment where the differences in opinion came up. But her parents and entourage keep entertaining her desire to not compromise for 4 more appointments, and that tells me she is VERY spoiled.

It's all about business of course. What do you expect?

Not just that but they are very expensive.

@@sleepysalsw I expect Goes of the world to put their hearts into it and overthrow these monsters.

Hi, yes, I often can find their social media if I have a last name. I'm glad you like the updates!