Situations are not the same , it was easy for you to leave because there are no kids involved . With kids involved , you do not just decide to leave then boom you pack and leave. Its more complicated with kids.
No, no no. We need to stop using kids as scapegoats for staying in toxic marriages, it does not do them any good, it's damaging to them and you who are aggrieved. This is Coming from a person who grew up in a home where the woman stayed for the kids.
The way yol lie to yourselves and use children as justification for your own dysfunction and low self esteem in staying in broken marriages is getting so old. Kids are not the reason you do this because it doesn’t benefit them. You are staying because of your own issues and fears and normalising junk. This is a plain old lie: no child benefits from an unhappy home and Marriage where the mother is depressed and hurt because of a cheating spouse or an abusive spouse, basically a home with no love and warmth and stability plus emotional security especially love. Stop this! It is much more damaging to the children and has far reaching effects for them later in life in terms of the types of relationships they get into the anxiety and mental issues they struggle with. Stop giving children broken examples of marriage/relationships. It’s a lie. It’s toxic. Stop it
@@GidzaWithNokwanda yes its easy to say , but when you are the situation its different especially for women . Many things comes onto your mind , like introducing your kids to your new partner . You do not even know how he will treat your kids or how kids will treat him. It's a lot to adjust , and deep down you might think that the only guy who will truly love your kids their biological father hence you may try to work things out with him( even though , he might have cheated ). This is what usually happen to people .
I married at 21 Ninja because I fell pregnant. I left my husband at 27 yrs old because he was failing our family as a husband & as a father to our son. Due to him losing me because being a careless husband, he's now a 10x better husband to his current wife & such a wonderful father to our son. Staying in a bad marriage is you telling your partner that you accept their behavior & they will continue with that bad behavior.
Taking an HIV test is a nerve wrecking experience even when you are single, the trauma that comes from taking an HIV test knowing you have been loyal to someone, dedicated your life, soul, your body to this person and they casually go out there and stray has got to be the worst experience ever. i wonder if cheaters know just how much they put the cheated partner through. for them its a fun and games, but the scars their actions cause are incomprehensible. NXA!
The risk of being HIV infected when your partner cheats is what just makes my heart skip the beat. It's beyond selfish when someone risks someone's life for their pleasure. It just makes me so strong.
I will definitely be sharing this with my 16 year old sister. We really need to build and ensure that young women's self esteem is intact, before they engage in any relationship (platonic/romantic) with the opposite gender, and even with the same gender. Low self esteem is the root of "I'm staying for the kids", "it was a mistake, he loves me" or "every relationship has ups and downs, we can work this out". Staying in such relationships is dangerous.
Literally crying. Thank you for being so open about your journey. I love that you were adamant about using protection before you had decided to leave the marriage. You are handling this situation like a boss.
I totally have respect for people(both men & women) who leave their cheating spouses. Even in the Bible, it is the one reason God allows for divorce. There is no reason anyone should stay with a cheating spouse, it is torturous to them and the kids and not worth it. Thank you Owami for being vulnerable with us. I want to comment on HIV. As someone who has done HIV education before, hiv positive people are not sick, if they are living a healthy lifestyle, they live better lives than negative people because they eat right, drink right and exercise. Most are very healthy. Gone are the days when receiving a positive result was a death sentence. It simply means, one needs to start living differently.... and they also go on to have healthy negative babies.
Thank you, I wish more people would educate themselves about it. I'd honestly rather date someone who is living with HIV than a person who "does" because they dont test very often.
I advocate 100% for married womxn getting tested regularly whether they are aware or not of their husband's infidelity. Research documented in UN reports shows that there is a pervasive belief among the HIV community that males (male promiscuity) are primarily responsible for spreading the infection among married and cohabitating couples. Big ups for being accountable for your health Sh'bobo. Super inspired and proud of you❤️
This makes me so angry! Marriage benefits them (men) the most, even the bible says that in it's own way, yet some are outchea taking it for granted by being reckless.
It takes a brave and strong woman to share the difficulties in one's life. Thank you for sharing your life experiences as to advice both young and old women out here🙏
My good sis telling the truth!!! You are so honest and I tell you this video will save lives. You have done something that many churches and mothers and gogos and aunties have failed to do! Well done for being brave enough to be a big sis to thousands of women who needed to hear this. You are a star. I wish you joy and happiness!
We feel like we’ve been with you on this journey, we appreciate your honesty, vulnerability and relatability! We love you Queen Ninja and please take things one day at a time, it will get better, promise 🙏🏾❤️
Owami you’re so strong. Yes you’re showing young girls like us that you can get out of relationships we don’t want and not to tolerate cheating no matter how it’s been normalized
Maaaaaan!! You are tackling such important topics, it's such a pity that you had to go through such a traumatic and stressful time in your life and relationships but I'm glad that you are choosing to take the lessons and educate others. Well done, and I guess the reason why it holds so much substance is because you are speaking from experience. Thank you for sharing on such a difficult situation.
The moment I see a comment about how difficult it is to stay when you have kids, oh its not easy to leave because the partner is a breadwinner... Hai hai mann stop it now 🤞🤞😢😢😢. Nobody is saying it's easy, we are woman we know it. But we are now normalizing leaving situations where happiness is not served full stop....
Thanks for the advise Owamie ,, also u need to protect ur self even if u are happily married coz u never know ,, some men are really good at hiding things
This is so emotional I am going through a divorce as we speak.Its true you mourn the relationship. You mourn the years of companionship, you mourn the pain,you mourn the abuse. I don't think one is ever the same.Days are not the same
Wow! Your videos always have so much wisdom. I am here for the "community service" part. Cheating wouldn't have been normalized like this, had a lot of women thought of the next women.
Man will never understand the dangers they imposed whenever they decide to cheat, it doesn't only affect you emotional,mental but physical.Imagine having to deal with all this because of someone who decided to choose themselves and their selfishness. Ninja nation ❤☕
Guys I feel like you point too much at guyz, Alot of women cheat too and alot of man are raising kids that are really not theirs because of cheating women, so when we talk about cheating lets generalise....Women cheat on higher grade too....talking from experience.
Yhooo wami, I was even scared to hear what the results are, the trauma and emotional turmoil you went through even doing the test worse when waiting for the results. We thank God Wamie.
Please call Nozibele Mayaba and delve into this HIV topic from a marriage and young, wild and free point of view. Let's sensitise this area and sort of counsel your followers who are experiencing living with HIV and it's the pits. I'm an HIV Activist/Advocate from Botswana 🇧🇼 living openly with HIV and appreciate you ladies touching on these topics.
Notification gang.💃You Look Beautiful Wamie 💖😍.Cheating is deep hey you don't just break someone's trust but you bring incurable diseases to your loved ones. This is therapy Wamie thank you so much for being transparent we are learning a thing or two
Girrrl you are a Queen for real. Keep educating us. The shine on you💥💥💥. You are only going up and forward and that does come with pain. Awsome stuff Owamie .
Thanks for sharing your story... I am also separated pending divorce because of the same thing. It's so painful going through infedility especially when you are doing your most in the marriage to build.. And someone is out there sleeping around without a condom. We go through alot as women and I respect your strength in sharing and being open. God Bless.
🙁🙁🙁🙁😪being cheated on by your husband is the most painful thing ever... it comes with so many things, im waiting for ladies who still say bona they bekezela such nonsense... Wena Ninja we will forever respect you ane we will forever support you coz you choose yourself and avoided alot of things
Yebo... people who are used to it are literally ready to receive any ish that their partners will bring to their homes, from sti's , HIV, children, mental and financial strains basically everything.... Ag you took the best decision ever lapho ninja its hard kodwa look at you climbing up having strength to share your experiences 🥺😭😘❣sakthanda and siyabonga for the teachings
My husband cheated and brought HIV...im glad i left...still separated but in process of divorcing. He just dsnt care. He never tried to save marriage the marriage, he expected to bekezela bcos is the woman who is supposed to fight, otherwise a woman is regarded as weak or not wife material. 😭😭
2 things about ur story that hit me: 1. You just NEVER know what people are going through coz u were still here entertaining us but going through the most. 2. Life is such a process. Even when one incident happens, it ends up sometimes taking a while to get through coz it affects other areas of your life too. Thank you for being transparent with us Owamie. Wishing u continued love and strength 🙏🏾❤️
You are glowing Owamie. I wish you all the best in all your future endeavours, I used to think you were so messy LOL! and didn't understand why/how someone can be so messy but in all honesty, you're just someone only creating a living for themselves❤️
When you said you were about to cry, I honestly shed a tear. You are truly a lioness Ninja one of the strongest women I know.. The pain of being loyal to someone and have cheat on you is too much but thanks God you came out of the situation healthy and HIV negative...Healing from all the lies and cheating might take a little longer but it always gets better with time. Thank you for sharing ❤️
This takes me back when i got mine , i was so devastated ( being young , in Matric and pregnant)... But with time and counselling, i got to be better emotionally than i was 15 years ago.. Keep on motivating shibubu, you the best... 🤗💕😘🙏
Well done Owami love and respect yourself first kids or no kids run for your life and as long as you have taken every step by step to sort things out "Setlhare sa musi ke go o tlogela ka gonne o tla go fatlha matlho wa se bone Ko o yang ,se o se dirang, "Shine girl, be yourself and good luck for your dreams
Ki Community service .... yes Queen ..... I am so proud of you for actually going ahead and getting tested 🥰, I also advise that we all just keep getting tested married or not. I do home tests I have been testing myself since 2010, because I just feel we need to know as well as a yearly check up twice with the G.P just to make sure.
Truth be told it takes a lot courage to leave. As women we really need to put ourselves first and stop thinking marriage defines us. Haters can say what they want. But you are a strong beautiful queen.❤
The honesty your giving is clearly coming from someone who has had a lot of questions and search for valid answers. It may look to other like you’re an advocate for divorce but this advice is necessary for young women to hear... only someone who has experienced and tried everything can be this real with you. Wow I hear you sis❤️
You are absolutely right, my dad has been a serial cheater (married to my mother) for years up until he decided to leave my mother in 2004, her life and health and fell apart and that's where she got a wake up call. My father, not giving a damn, continued with his life. You are not lying. No matter how they say "It's complicated because we have children" its a worn out excuse to not change their current predicament due to financial and other factors. If my father can leave his first wife with children and then his second wife with children then he can certainly do it again. Men (self centred ones), are for themselves and what satisfies them. I'm standing in solidarity with the notion you're setting. Emotions can manipulate you into tolerating bs, iIve seen it with my own eyes when it came to me personally.
