HOLIDAY ETIQUETTE - Family Drama During The Holidays | Q & A With Tracy

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Corresponding Blog Post: www.tracyhense...
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Опубликовано:

12 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 91

@sharonworyn1911 3 года назад

My family and I are so blessed because we always enjoy our gatherings and there is lots of laughter as we recount stories. No drama. Each and every day I pray intently to think before I speak and to focus on positive things. It's a challenge, isn't it?

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Thank you for sharing, Sharon. The family gatherings in my family, as well as my husbands are like your families - full of fun, laughter and reminiscing. We look forward to seeing our loved ones during the holidays and throughout the year, for this very reason.

@Mmmmkaaay 3 года назад

Now I know that if I ever meet you and you say " By the way..." It means you're bored. 😂 I appreciate your ongoing wisdom. The world needs you!❤️

@davidanddiana7173 3 года назад

Your answer about those dealing with the loss of a loved one during the holidays really put things in perspective for me. My heart goes out to the many people who are going through this.

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Thank you for sharing. My heart goes out as well. I think often about how fast our world can be turned upside down and how the Christmas season could be forever compromised, as a result. Although fear is counterproductive. I cannot lie that loss of certain loved ones is a strong fear for me. Blessings!

@rachriri 3 года назад

I love listening to you speak so eloquently and learning from your advice! And I want to say I absolutely loved your background in this video!

@Pinkoflove3 3 года назад

I just realized I love when you have questions printed because then I can pause the video and see if I can answer them them the way you have taught us to. 😃

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Love this! Thank you for sharing!

@ashleyclark4691 3 года назад

I love this topic! I have a mother in law that likes to talk badly about her own family members and other people all the time. It’s very Uncomfortable for me, especially because I feel like she could be talking badly about me to others also. I hate being around negativity.

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Thank you for sharing Ashley! Most likely your MIL is. This shows something about HER and little about you. Most recognize this about your MIL by now and have come to somewhat expect it from her. Most will also let it fo in one ear and out the other. It bears no weight ... because it's just her!

@judymclaughlin6993 2 года назад

This gets better each year.. you are a treasure.

@janelevey3435 3 года назад

Great topic. On another note, you look beautiful!

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Thank you Jane!

@johannees622 3 года назад

I want to be like you in my own way. You are such an inspiration to young adults navigation through life’s challenges. I learned so much from your videos. Thank you for sharing.!

@MiaAnstine 3 года назад

Tracy, at 18:30 we have someone who’s always negative that should or should not be invited to the party; what if the person is your mother who has no other family or friends in her life? (Yes, there’s a reason she’s alone) we can’t fix her but feel badly not including her.

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Thank you for sharing your story, Mia. I am sure many people can relate. While there is no law against excluding your mother from family gatherings, if by doing so you 'feel bad', it may be in your best interest to invite her. Most people don't like feeling bad, as often when we do feel bad, we encounter regret, shame or play back in our minds how we could have done something different. Most of us want to feel good about our decisions. I hope this helps you in figuring out what best serves you. I am happy to hear that you recognize how your mother shows up and that you cannot fix her. Often 'fixing' is where people struggle the most - they just cannot come to terms with the fact that they can't fix their loved one. Once you set yourself free from being held hostage to that mindset, you find freedom.

@SouthernSara23 3 года назад

Tracy is right about only being able to control ourselves. I made the decision to stop inviting my own sister to my events because it was making them unenjoyable for me! Why was I hosting dinners, events, and etc and not enjoying them? It has made my life better. When other siblings or my parents asked why, I just told them the simple truth. I said I had made the decision to limit contact with her. This led to more questions from them, but I left it at, “It is a decision I took my time making, but it is for the best.” I said it in a tone of voice that shut down further questions. I also follow through with avoiding all of the conflicts by being direct that I don’t want to talk about their conflicts with her either. “I’m sorry to hear this, but I don’t want to be involved.” So far, my other siblings have understood. Tracy is also right that if you are kind and sincere, people won’t mind.

@Elizabeth-fh9qe 3 года назад

Such a caring message about loss. It had a big impact on me. Thank you.

@shegone911 3 года назад

No...I had...had..lol a mother in law that was the Devil. Undermining me, spiteful,and just pure wicked. So happy he cheated and now I am living free of all that drama!

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Glad you learned your lesson on who to marry! You probably did not see your worth and value then. Good self work!

@mercywakesho1515 3 года назад

Tracy you are the best! I love how you handle issues open minded, your advice is amazing 👏. I also Love how you speak! Clear and articulate.

@MsActor2009 3 года назад

So brilliant, Tracy. I loved what you said about asking for what you need during the holidays and explaining what low self esteem really looks like.

@vondagreen640 3 года назад

If I am going to a family gathering with the possibility of a blow up (more than just drama), then I am prepared to leave. I park facing the road & close to the road so I can just leave. I DON'T DO DRAMA. My home is a no drama zone & I will ask people to leave. (Or they have just opened the door for a Sermon.). ;)

@lauraneaves6912 3 года назад

🌟Tracy! Your message could probably prevent all types of divorce, sadness, low self esteem issues and world wars! It's no wonder as people we get anything done while living when we are so hurt by what others do and say. We need to stay in our own lanes! So hard to do and very rarely are people aware of how they are acting or behaving. Your message is so RARE but NEEDED! It's like we all come from the victim thinking. Lord help us! I'm so incredibly thankful for the messages you put out into the world, there are so many who need to hear it. Many blessings to you!!! 🎄

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Thank you Laura! Great message! I appreciate you sharing!

@seankelly1366 Год назад

I have greatly enjoyed this video...tremendously.. I love the way how you emphasize the action of savy as well as tact and class.. Just a side note: HAHA.....since I'm a sober gentleman, I always reflected with the theories that Black Bart the Buccaneer displayed....He wouldn't allow any sort of misbehavior from his crew and he always had the rum stores under lock and key until he was comfortable enough to host an event that allows public display of debauchery....HAHA..

@Brandi-0731 3 года назад

Absolutely LOVED this video! Excellent advice! 💕

@zehramurad372 3 года назад

You are my mentor and I have learned so much from you. Stay happy ❤️

@tparentful 3 года назад

This is so insightful, thank you! I'd love to hear more phrases you use to redirect people or conversations. I'd like to add those to my toolbox of resources to use when talking to negative people or find myself in a conversation I don't find uplifting to the relationship.

@HalliGirl145 3 года назад

I LOVE hosting holiday parties! This year, just a quiet, silent night.

@carmelpereira6003 3 года назад

I have the same sentiments about people who boast they are everyone's go-to person. As time went on, I realised such people who find validation from being the "hero" are in fact very impressionable and in dire need of being included in the lives of people who go to them. Tracey, I hope you could do a video about outgrowing one's friends. It would be of great use to a lot of young people. Thank you for the video. Merry Christmas! I pray that you and your family have a happy and blessed holiday season.

@lyndior8963 3 года назад

Just recently learned of your positive advice videos and so happy to see current presentations. I look forward to hearing sanity, caring and all that you cover through the new year. We so need it now.

@sofiaaleka7666 3 года назад

Love the advice of, “Don’t ask, tell.” I need to keep this in mind that when I tell, to not be wishy washy and make sure my telling is a firm statement.

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Wonderful! Point taken ... you got it! Good luck!

@sofiaaleka7666 3 года назад

@@TracyHensel Thank you! I had the bad habit of saying, “I don’t think we can make it because of...” as a way to smooth things over when declining an invitation. After watching your video I realize it is polite to just say, “We won’t be able to make it this year. I hope you have a wonderful time!” and leave it at that.

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

That is perfect! That is the reply of a kind, classy and confident lady! Great job!

@brittanyfowler3645 3 года назад

Great advice. I loved the part about people coming to you with their problems. Very helpful. There’s a certain person in my life that will tell me about an issue they are having with a person & then continue to make plans & be around the person they were talking about but will not make plans with me. This gives me a lot to think about...

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Great awareness Brittany! Thank you for sharing!

@babydooll84 3 года назад

I find it so difficult to understand why so many people put up with their families toxic behaviors! I wouldn’t participate at any family functions

@suzanne296 2 года назад

I agree, I'm 59 and worn out. My parents are gone and I have no extended family. You may as you age want to see some members of the family as your mortality is surfacing.

@teodoramoldovan7685 3 года назад

You are the best ! I love all your videos !

@ltg102 3 года назад

Super advice; so practical. You have a gift for counseling/coaching, Tracy!

@jentorchh Год назад

Thank you for your wonderful wisdom!

@kalaeyacassidy6610 3 года назад

Awww... Thank You Really needed this❤

@jeniferbfly 2 года назад

After a year of marriage, I requested to my husband that we have traditions of our own. We both decided that we would have Christmas breakfast at our home, open our gifts, and then proceed to our parents homes. This caused world war 3 with my mother in law. She said I took her family away from her, and was taking her daughter ( Her granddaughter, my stepdaughter) from her. It has progressed ever since. Even my husband doesn't feel welcome. She always makes passive aggressive remarks towards everyone but heavy on my husband, daughter, and myself. When we tried to speak with her about it she refuses to acknowledge anything. It's so frustrating. The holidays are coming up and I can feel the tension rising again. I keep an arm's length distance from her, and Oh how I have tried to never speak ill about her and be kind.

@NinaLetizia 3 года назад

Thank you Tracy! Very useful advice as always. The comment about "people come to all the time with their problems" resonated to me so much! I swear I do not look for them but they keep on coming anyway. I really need to look inside me and learn to say no. By the way you look lovely! :)

@loveoneanother-yt 3 года назад

Tracy, thank you for always making videos packed with good, helpful information. I like that you put so much good stuff into one video instead of trying to fill with fluff. The funny thing is because there are so many things I need to hear, that I end up watching one video multiple times anyway! Have a great weekend!

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Love this! Thank you for the positive feedback. These videos are often the hardest to do, because to effectively help others, I need to work one-on-one. I need to dig deeper into the person leaving the question, often what I am looking for is - why they are so affected by others. So much power in finding that answer. But it requires deep one-on-one work! Have a Beautiful Holiday season, whatever that looks like for you!

@suzanne296 2 года назад

There's so much craziness. I don't feel with the time I have in life will be fixed or calmly resoved. So I focus on being kind not phoney and ask questions about others of things that intrest them.

@cheryl7784 3 года назад

Hi Tracy! I was looking forward to this and I’m sure this was loaded w/ fantastic information. I hope you’ll consider adding closed captioning to all of your future videos, though! Thank you and have a wonderful day! xoxo🥰

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Hi Cheryl! Thank you! I am not sure how closed captioning is done or what exactly the purpose is for. I don't handle the upload and settings on my videos. Feel free to reach out to customer support with your request. Email: help@henselcoachingandconsuling.com I am sure they would be happy to look into the benefits and see if it's a good fit for the business. Have a Blessed Holiday Season!

@debbiemize2269 3 года назад

I so enjoyed watching this! Thank you for your words of wisdom. All 3 of my daughters are now married, the youngest having married just 2 months ago. She told me last week that she and her husband will not be joining us for our family Christmas this year. Her husband is so afraid of getting Covid that he doesn’t go anywhere but to the grocery store. He wants her to only go to work and no place else. He lost his job b/c of the shutdown, and makes no effort to find another. My heart is breaking, not just b/c of the upcoming holiday w/o her, but b/c I feel that he trying to isolate my child. I have told her that of course I am disappointed she and he will not be joining us, but that I will respect their decision. I do feel this is his decision, not hers.

@markrodriguez4867 3 года назад

Awesome video very strong words you right about everything you said

@Narda1968 3 года назад

Fantastic! I feel a load off my shoulders just listening to you ...😇😇😇

@ghadirjreisat142 3 года назад

God bless you , i really love you and respect you and i hope one day i will get the chance to have a coaching session with you, God bless u and ur family and keep you safe together 🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️

@KimGGetsFit 3 года назад

Truly enjoy your content. Thank you!

@jennifer21571 3 года назад

Hi Tracy. On a recent IG story, you mentioned that at one time, you had to distance yourself from a friend. Your YT & IG have helped me set boundaries with a friend, but now I'm wondering how you navigated that situation to completely remove yourself from her. My friend is a neighbor and part of a larger group of girlfriends, which includes the spouses also. I appreciate your wisdom in this area!

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Great question Jennifer! I address it on Instagram Stories. Have a Happy Holiday Season!

@jcml165jm 3 года назад

Your hair looks amazing! Could you please make an update on your hair rutine...or goin with u to the hair salon! Thank you!!

@christinec3729 3 года назад

Thank you- very good insights... You are very smart Tracy- I have learned so much from you. Thank you and Happy Holidays !

@barry-paris75 3 года назад

Chère madame Hensel, Un grand merci une fois encore. 🙏

@rhondagriffith2159 3 года назад

So on point❣❣❣....

@lindab6113 3 года назад

Thank you so much , Tracy, these are truly wise words and I appreciate your sharing them!! Now I need to follow them myself 👍🏻❤️ Happy holidays to you and your family🎁☃️😘

@sweetypatnett6123 3 года назад

Very nice information. Looking great 👍 as always. Thanks again Tracy!😊

@amyhilger2919 3 года назад

Another wonderful video, Tracy; thank you! 🎄❤️🎄

@annabaglioni2660 3 года назад

Oh.. This video helps me so much. I never see it that way. I am a people's pleasure

@angeltouch3769 3 года назад

Thank you so much for this video. I learnt so much about the people around me.

@lardgreat1572 3 года назад

Wow! Thank you for sharing I had learned a lot and exactly what I need this holiday. Again thank you so much.

@deborahlown4815 3 года назад

Great video...thanks tracey..feel like i just had a one on one counseling session with you

@raquelhazel4116 3 года назад

Wow today’s Instagram stories are mind blowing exactly what my mother in law does to me. Thank you for the wisdom now I feel like I can handle her for Christmas I’m just going to expect that she’ll press my buttons I’ll be ready and not react thank u

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

You are most welcome! If your MIL ALWAYS shows up in a way to push your buttons, be one step ahead of her. The more you let it go in one ear and out the other, the more skilled you will get at not letting her belittling, mocking or whatever it is that triggers you, affect you. Be Kind, show respect and hold yourself to high quality and class. Eventually, the person who purposely pushes your buttons may let it go, as they find they can no longer affect and penetrate you and your turtle shell.

@sharonw.2589 3 года назад

I agree, really needed this! Thanks Tracy! Merry Christmas. 🎄🤔

@alejandracamacho3902 3 года назад

I feel so much better now, thank you!🙏🏻

@annabaglioni2660 3 года назад

Yep at least now I understand. "Stay in your line"

@myhottea 3 года назад

Thank you Tracy! So helpful!!!

@lauraneaves6912 3 года назад

Thank you for answering my question 💜

@fuchadancer94 3 года назад

I understand that what people say about you has to do with them and not you, but when you’re in that present moment and someone is insulting you in from of everyone, what do you do? Just sit there? Laugh? Walk away? How should you respond in that very moment?

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Hi Maya, I address that topic in the video. Also be sure to check me out on Instagram Stories, where I share on topics such as this quite frequently.

@cristelaflores8918 3 года назад

Wow you are soo right on soo many levels

@justme...3886 Год назад

Love the real.

@carin684 3 года назад

As always great tips. Thanks!

@kamshopqueen88 3 года назад

You have amazing brows! I’ve noticed even when you aren’t wearing makeup, they are just as amazing. Do you use any kind of serum? Mine aren’t as thick as they once were.

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Thank you! I recently published a video sharing the history of my brow, the products I use + a tutorial. It may interest you. Check it out, here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-A0qN91EiXrY.html

@kamshopqueen88 3 года назад

@@TracyHensel thanks, I will

@emmafre-haack1746 3 года назад

Would you please think about navigate in pandemia times? Thank you so.

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Hi Emma! Please watch today's video, here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-E3ZTdy4XjXU.html This video is for YOU- today, tomorrow and everyday moving forward.

@micheller2696 3 года назад

Hi Tracy, I am wondering whether you are still making your online program please?

@TracyHensel 3 года назад

Hi Michelle! Thank you for asking. So much of it is ready to go. The year 2020 took a turn with finishing school and bringing coaches to the team. I plan to revisit the program in early 2021 and do any revise and prepare for a launch.