How Cheating Changes The Betrayed Partner | Infidelity Expert Todd Creager 

It disgusts me that he’s the one who chose to cheat but I’m the one who needs mental health help

The irony is the cheater cheats themselves even though they might not realise it, but one day they will and live to regret it

He cheated me out of so so so much. I could’ve had that wonderful, warm feeling of security, contentment, and trust that you get from knowing you have a teammate in life but he robbed me of that, too. Worse than that, he showed me what it felt like and THEN took it away forever

Infidelity is about the cheater. Choices must be owned.

I have every intention of forgiving once the divorce is final I'll be like ok. I forgive you. Bye!

It changes the way you see your partner because they are no longer the rock in your life they are now suspect and everything they do from here on out will always be questioned. Trust is the one thing that is free but once it’s lost no amount of money can buy it back. Once the trust is gone it’s gone forever and it’s time to move on.

Thank you. As a betrayed and abandoned I now know: Whatever reasons they give you why it has been your fault too: it’s not true. Everybody makes mistakes. But betraying the LOVE AND HEARTFELT TRUST of a person (not talking about „just“ sex) makes you enter the ninth circle of hell in Dante’s Divine comedy for a reason..

Don’t waste any time. If cheating happened. Divorce and move on. Who wants to live like this. No one

I’m a man who has been betrayed by my wife. She had an emotional and physical affair that lasted 6 years. I’m speaking up bc I’ve found very little for men who have been the victims of betrayal. And the little that is out here is like this, where you basically are saying men should suck it up. I want to leave, but I’m physically and emotionally paralyzed. It’s just too much and I need help.

And they don’t learn. They don’t get it. They don’t care

I just went through a mental rollercoaster of emotions, while listening to this and reminiscing on the betrayal experience. 😭 😔 😠

The only working out that you need to do with a cheater is working them out of your life… don’t listen to all this it will make the relationship better crap, Better for who? Because you’ll be the one with the trust issue, worrying, health problems etc…

Dr Todd helped me decide my future. After being cheated on, I found now I really have the power. Thanks Dr T.

Throw all this out the window in my case. When they choose their affair partner who they've known for 4 months over their 10 year marriage there comes a time you have to quit. I would still try to work it out but I deserve someone who would choose me and fight for me.

If I forgive, will he get the message that ultimately there are no consequences? And isn’t my relationship tainted now?

My partners infidelity led to a disease I can't cure. So the layers of anguish I feel are trifold and the disgust I have with myself for allowing this to happen and not protecting myself are gut wrenching.

Loved this! Thanks

Thank you for your wisdom. I loved this video and it helped me so much!

Nothing is the same.

His videos give the vibe he doesn’t see cheating as as bad thing... He just understands the emotions and hurt behind it. Like an existentialist

I chose to divorce and forgive and that was the best decision made. That kickstarted a healing journey for me that ended up in a committed relationship with an amazing man that loves and cares for me like nobody ever has before. I started a new love story and let go of the past. ❤

Thanks for this

my girlfriend cheated after 6 years of unconditional love, care and support. I feel like such an idiot. I will never trust out side my immediate friends and family ever again. I watched her squirm and grasp at straws when i confronted her. I will never speak to her again after months of cheating. It was like watching a cockroach trying climb out of a glass.

Thank you!!

When you realize how common is cheating for any dumb reason, It´s easier to tell yourself: Partners are not family , they are more like workmates sharing a bed and having a project in common that it´s usually starting a home. Like workmates, don´t expect them to be in your life forever. Don´t overthink about future, just enjoy the good moments, practice forgivness in order to not dragging any anger or frustrations to future partners and in deead always be ready to say good bye when you have to.

I broke up with my ex dec 18, 2 years ago. Just recently found out she is having a 2nd kid. I’m ok with it, I just haven’t moved past the grieving, resentful part I do feel stuck in it. I want to not be bitter, & forgive her. & also the shame of not making good decisions while receiving the revelations, & I definitely got locked into contempt in anger, I asked her to go to therapy she said we not married & we already have to go to couples therapy, after a house fire during Covid & 3 deaths, she was out drinking doing drugs & cheating living a double life. It was so distasteful but I definitely took the opportunity to dig deeper I had that ego death, but I’m stuck at the grieving part still I think.

Once a cheater ALWAYS A CHEATER. 🇺🇸

This is beautiful.

When it's happened 4 times in your life,I feel unworthy, unattractive and a complete fool

Basically, there was a period of time when only two of three people who were involved sexually consented. There is the added disrespect related to the non consensual sex. #metoo has described non consensual sex due to power differences. #metoo should expand to address this type of non consensual sex. Similar to the sexual betrayal described by the #metoo movement . The power difference in most relationships, the gaslighting and emotional vulnerability that happen over time, this parallels then stance of #metoo. This behavior does not bode well for the character and personality of the adulterer. There is also to be a lack of empathy displayed by the possibility of being caught is appealing in the adulterous relationship, this shows a careless disregard , a lack of impulse control, risking being discovered and cause pain for the non consenting partner does not disturb the adulterer. There is a lack of empathy common with narcissism. Also, “forgiveness” is simple, but not easy.

What if my partner is struggling to break the affair? And is still holding onto our marriage?

Very fact,,,,that's my experience,,,so very painful,i don't know how it end this suffering ,I'm walking dead or living dead now

At best, they still want to cheat but decide not to act on it. AT BEST. Aren’t they to be worshipped?

I recently found out that other half been cheating. We have a child together and I’m just disappointed. What I should I do????

This is so sad.

What if you're the cheater? Words can't express my remorse and sorrow. I'm fuckin broken

So these type of people do not understand and only do this when they think they can get away with it. You deal out vengeance to these type of people they will get in a fetal position and act like victim. Personally it doesn't matter whether they're on the planet or not.

I get so disgusted that no one wants to take responsibility for the victim's part, influence and hurtful-causing behaviors that attributed to the emotional abandonment, punishment of sabotaging and other cruel ways that didn't CAUSE the choice but pushed the partner towards the moves they made. Sometimes, years of cold, rude treatment, hardness of heart and so forth.

It's cuz some guys view girls as options, kinda like what's in a car. They wanna choose the one that will get them off better probably

*☝️He was able to give me access to my partner device🙏*

Reality check, If you have a wife, and you say she has never cheated on you, You are not the expert you think you are, You have no way of knowing if they have cheated or not until you catch them or they admit to it from guilt. To think otherwise is foolish, Everyone says my wife would never do that, until they do that. It is simple, If you are married, You live with the daily possibility of Infidelity, Just know that it is common place, And you are not responsible for the immorality of your spouse.

I heard every reason why she did it "you worked to much, you were mean to me then, you weren't meeting my emotional needs" listen to me ladies and gentlemen very carefully, find out EVERYTHING you can, do not take their word for anything, find out every. Little. Detail. This may sound counter productive but it absolutely isn't, the more I dug through phone records the tens of thousands of messages to other men, yes it sucks learning that nothing was sacred and everything you thought you shared between each other (music, sexual things you explored together) privately was just fuel they could use for attention from other men. It was necessary for me to learn everything because all the shit excuses and blame shifting lasted for almost an entire year, just two days ago after confronting her claims that I wasn't paying attention to her and meeting her needs, I went through our text and phone logs and confirmed that when she started cheating 9 months after we got engaged things where going pretty well, if I hadn't dug and kept all those call logs records appdata from all of the different apps she was using then I wouldn't have been able to argue my points with her sit here still thinking that I did something wrong somehow and I wasn't paying enough attention to her meeting her needs, What I ended up finding out because I had all this information, was it she was just jealous and racked With Envy wanted to take me down a peg because I lost 100 lb and got in good shape I had abs. Instead of sharing in my joy and my accomplishments she sat in a corner and wallowed in her self misery and meanwhile she was stuffing her face with Taco Bell and blowing up like the Michelin man. Then a month before the wedding she starved herself got down to 170 from 200 something and then after that she ballooned to a cool 250. During that whole time she treated me like shit. And I had no idea why

thank you!!!

*☝️He was able to give me access to my partner device🙏*