How Do I Support 5 Kids After Leaving an Abusive Boyfriend?

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How Do I Support 5 Kids After Leaving an Abusive Boyfriend?
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Опубликовано:

8 июн 2021

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Комментарии : 572

@purewonka 3 года назад

This situation reminds me of a similar story that happened in my own town a few years ago. An abused mother of three young kids left her abuser. Hers was a dramatic and sad story. She had to have an arm amputated because of nerve damage resulting from the repeated abuse. She had no money. She was completely dependent on the abuser and had no relatives to help her. A gentleman in our congregation stepped up and got her and the kids a house in a gated neighborhood that included 24 hour security on site. He also bought the family a car and gave the woman a job. Angels are among us.

@caseygiglio3373 Год назад

Amazing! Made me tear up.

@ladinialauda3769 7 месяцев назад

What an angel I am so blessed to have my family ❤

@rachelburt5512 3 года назад

I’m in the same position as this woman but with 4 kids under 8. I got a job, got a place, got a car, my credit is going up, I have support. But it’s still so hard.

@MoneyMan28 Год назад

Don't f a q or condom, One kid costs like $100,000 dollars from 0 to 18 years

@wiseowl2020 3 года назад

She's my typical client at Goodwill. I'd advise her to sign up for public assistance, including housing, food stamps, Medicaid, and WIC. It will help her stabilize her situation while she recovers her ability to think. Then, look for supported job training programs in her area that will allow her to gain marketable skills and allow her to enter the workforce. There are many grant-funded programs offered through state employment agencies, local community colleges, and non-profits that provide this training. She should also consider checking with the local community college for Covid-funded career track training through certificate programs. Good luck to her she has a long road ahead.

@elainenilsson5472 Год назад

That is great information.

@elainenilsson5472 Год назад

That is awesome!!

@BG-nm5xt Год назад

So right! Thanks!

@erikkasepiphany Год назад

Bless your heart. Keep spreading the love and knowledge. ♥️

@KathyClark-us9op 5 месяцев назад

I never could get any help. I was told that I made $10 too much to get food stamps. I had no insurance. I couldn't get Medicaid. Housing authority, you had to find a place for a certain amount that was to their standards which was almost impossible to do. They even told me to catch the bus instead driving my old car. There were no bus lines close by. I tried to buy a low-income house. I was told, I didn't make enough money for two kids. If I had one kid, I would qualify. That was back in the late 70's and early 80's in SC. It stressed me out.

@amysue1616 4 месяца назад

This woman has a really great voice. She should look into broadcast radio. It’s never too late to start a new career. I’d listen to her all day. We’re all rooting for you!

@AliciaGuitar 3 месяца назад

She could read audiobooks

@velvetplans5396 18 дней назад

I was thinking the same thing. Really beautiful voice!

@Thisistheplace44 3 года назад

So many people in the comments didn’t really LISTEN to her and why she had made the choices she did. But this is the first day of the rest of her life and reaching out is a great step.

@TimeisUp22 3 года назад

He left her.

@sanfranciscodamn 3 года назад

I did listen to her she’s a weak codependent who should’ve stopped having all those kids and got dumped by her abuser!! I Listened to the whole thing

@AC-ri2ph 3 года назад

you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped

@terriesmith2616 3 года назад

I listened and she's a terrible decision maker. She could've left when he started abusing her, instead she continued to stay and have not one but FIVE kids with this loser. She's weak and very co-dependant. *"In life, we don't get what we deserve, we get what we are willing to tolerate"* ~Tony Robbins.

@Justsayingthat 3 года назад

How is anyone calling her weak? Sure she could have left, but abusers aren't abusing 24/7. She finally left at the hardest point! Many never leave.

@Texan_Gal Год назад

This woman sounds so articulate and smart, I hope she found her place in life and had succeeded in something!

@rachelgooden9981 3 года назад

She Speaks so well. It’s obvious that she could have gone further in life if this man didn’t hold her back

@whitneyw.7919 3 года назад

She held herself back

@dakotasikes6690 Год назад

Thats and excuse 15 yrs and 5 kids is a choice

@ruby8412 11 дней назад

@dakotasikes6690 did you not hear the part where she talks about marital rape?

@tanishabarnes4338 3 года назад

I was in this same situation. I have 5 kids also. I would never want to separate my children no matter how bad it gets. I worked multiple jobs to provide for my family. It hurt because my kids were always in daycare but it was only temporary. I prayed and cried out to God. Now, I have my own business and own my own home. My 2 oldest have graduated high school and in college. God lead me to an amazing church and put amazing people in my life that helped me. God will do it for anyone if you really want the help. The Lord always makes a way out of no way and he always provides a way out. God bless this women and her children!

@sarasirchia9042 3 года назад

So happy to hear you came through the fire!!! 💜

@swim610 10 месяцев назад

Amen

@beebeelicious 3 года назад

Many women know the "maybe he'll be in a better mood if..." thought .

@RosaGrau2014 2 месяца назад

Sadly.

@ErinWilke 3 года назад

My father is a narcissist. My parents got separated in 2004 and didn't get divorced until 2008 because he was trying to exert control, not provide support for me or my siblings (while making >$220K/yr), and make my mother miserable. When they separated, I was 10, my brother was 8, and my sister was 6. My sister took the longest to see his manipulation because she was younger and didn't see the manipulation and emotional abuse when she was a child. My brother and I have serious mental health problems that effect us on a daily basis as a result of our family dynamics. I think there was 1-2 times when we said we wanted them together because of the struggles resulting from their separation, but now I only wonder why my mother didn't leave him sooner. He is an evil person. He is unfit to be a parent. We should've never been in a house with him. Someday your kids will see that. Even if today they say they want you to move back in with their father, sooner or later they will fully understand the situation and they will know you did the best thing for all of you. The sooner you leave and stay gone, the less damage to their mental health.

@razmiddle9410 3 года назад

This is so sad. The abuser probably didn't want to get married since it would keep the caller financially dependent on him with no legal claim to financial resources if she left him.

@vchafab 3 года назад

@Sarah B If they are in a common law state. But child support definitely

@sweetpea2839 3 года назад

No common law in Indiana, it is not recognized.

@ririsn176 3 года назад

She shouldn't get pregnant with 5 babies if he does not want to marry her.

@queen.kristal8395 3 года назад

If it’s his kids he still has to pay child support wether they get married or not

@danthonybomes9423 3 года назад

“The abuser” lol...You mean the man she gave 15 years and 5 kids too. The idea she is a victim in all of this is laughable.

@Yummy2u 3 года назад

Marital r@pe is something that I never think of when I see someone in this situation. That was an eye opener.

@danthonybomes9423 3 года назад

If that were the case then he should be in prison

@nicolab2075 2 года назад

@@danthonybomes9423 I think we know that

@giveme24hrs72 Год назад

Whatever insurance she was using, she could've easily been on birth control. I don't believe the man insisted on having more and more kids. I wonder if she is more like me and just had no concept of how expensive it is to support a large family.

@Elizabethatthebeach Год назад

@@giveme24hrs72 doesn't always work... Even when used properly.. trust me.. Careful judging when we don't have the details...

@rlabarbera Год назад

@@giveme24hrs72 I agree. That's ridiculous. This woman is highly intelligent and she CHOSE to allow herself to get pregnant and bring more kids into this mess.

@karynmast4787 3 года назад

On a good day I say I stayed 24 years with my husband (father of my 7 kids) because I was full of hope and optimism. On a bad day I say I was an idiot! (I'm sure many would agree with this). Still I was able to scrape by at poverty level delivering newspapers, driving a school bus, and many "odd jobs". The key was needing little (most things people say they need are ridiculous) and being dependable. I left my husband when I still had 5 kids at home. They are all grown now and amazing human beings with stellar work ethics. They remember being poor but all say it was helpful in developing good character! Model good behavior and take responsibility for your own actions. Nobody really asked my opinion but I feel very qualified to speak on this ❤️

@sobeliever1638 2 года назад

Frugality was a good call.

@thembisaodendaal Год назад

Yours is a good story and I think the responsibility part helped you along.this caller does not sound like she wants to take responsibility.Tell me again why are you having so many children?This is outrageous really and borders on being selfish...how can you have enough hours in the day to take care of so many children with unique needs and sometimes a twist of special needs.I don't understand it...on a normal day in a close to perfect environment children will have problems but I cannot understand why do we inflate this situation by having too many ..its really not fair to these children

@ChasingLifeWithLittles 6 месяцев назад

@thembisaodendaal I think she stated that a lot of their sexual interactions were non Consensual or coerced. So some of those babies may be a product of these non consensual interactions.

@amysue1616 4 месяца назад

I paid my bills through college when my daughter was little by delivering 3 paper routes. I brought her with me and she slept in the car.

@33Jenesis 3 года назад

She craved love and security thus she’s targeted by an abuser. Abuser can smell a good prey in seconds. Sometimes it is better to get what you look for on your own (love yourself and build your own financial stability).

@Angela-ne9cy 3 года назад

Blaming the victim is always the easy answer, isn't it? SMH

@terriesmith2616 3 года назад

@@Angela-ne9cy It's not blaming the victim. It's all about self accountability. Her abuser bf needs to be accountable for himself and his behaviors just as she also needs to be accountable for the choices she makes in life. She choose to have FIVE kids with this loser. She's a terrible decision maker. Just as he's a terrible abusive bf. If she never take responsibility for her part in the relationship, she'll continue to attract abusive men. Same with the bf...if he never take responsibility for the part he played in the relationship, he'll continue to be abusive to the next woman.

@beebee2781 2 года назад

Ladies, this is why you always should have a side hustle. I'm all for stay at home moms, but having a fall back just in case is always a good idea.

@Efalonda Год назад

My abuser destroyed my phone and laptop 2 times. Touching the phone while he was sleeping was a life threatening situation These naive suggestions really show that especially the naive women here who try to give advise would be the first ones to fall into the trap. I think most of you should just be happy that you are surrounded by familial, social, educational, mental health and financial infrastructure that prevents you from even getting into contact with these people.

@aelh123 10 месяцев назад

@@Efalondathank you ! Many people say “just do this” or “that” and it shows the amount of ignorance when it comes to these abuse cycles.

@briskettacos 9 месяцев назад

This is why you need a degree or at least a certificate qualifying you for so.e type of work so that you can leave him if he becomes abusive. (Abusive men don't like to let women earn/ keep their money)

@ithinkigottalent4047 3 года назад

What's disheartening is you can't trust everyone around your kids. God bless her.

@charlesg7926 3 года назад

She shouldn’t have gotten pregnant until she was married to a guy she knew she could reasonably trust to be nonviolent, keep a steady job, and be a peaceful and decent father, at the bare minimum. Other things (being faithful to her, being attractive, being tall) only come AFTER making sure he has the basic necessities listed above. She should not go for hot/tall men, while ignoring if he’s actually a peaceful hardworking guy. That’s a shallow recipe for disaster. She ruined her own life with bad adult decision making- no one else

@nmc1859 3 года назад

@@charlesg7926 of course. Some people have trauma and nist not a good beginning. We can't judge her

@nmc1859 3 года назад

That's right Nedra..its gonna be really difficult unfortunately 😔💔

@sanfranciscodamn 3 года назад

NM C Yes we CAN judge her we have logical thinking brains it’s OK to think, people

@jessietuck6439 3 года назад

@@charlesg7926 my husband started beating me and my kids after we had been married about 10 years. He had previously been the most nonviolent person I knew, which fed into the cycle. I knew no-one would believe me because it was out of character from what most people knew. Please don't judge her. She did the best she could at the time

@Wealth_Wisdom_Discernment 3 года назад

A lot of judgmental people in the comments. Try making good decisions when yours parents don’t love you and you have depression they force you to sweep under the rug.

@jessa4596 3 года назад

You decide you have fight for yourself because no one else will.

@sueshe5953 3 года назад

Had all of that but still managed not to have five kids with a loser

@marianaruiz213 3 года назад

@Justin Brown agree, we need to go to our Roots, that's why she needs to take action Now!!! 💔😭

@Angela-ne9cy 3 года назад

THIS!! Nobody seems to understand how helpless someone feels in an abusive relationship.

@ZukoTheShinigami 3 года назад

@@sueshe5953 my thoughts exactly.

@MaMa-jh6bb 3 года назад

DO NOT GO BACK TO THIS RELATIONSHIP "FOR THE KIDS". You will get through this, with Gods help. 🙏🏽 use any free resources to get you through this.

@charlesg7926 3 года назад

@Picca65 3 года назад

@@charlesg7926 ok, great advice that doesn't help her fix the mess.

@MaMa-jh6bb 3 года назад

@@charlesg7926 yeah but sometimes life doesn't go in order, and it is a harder road to travel.

@terriesmith2616 3 года назад

@@Picca65 It's a mess of her own making. She needs to find the strength to get out of her own mess. No one else can do that for her. It's up to her to fix her own life.

@Picca65 3 года назад

@@terriesmith2616 true that. Although i like the word 'compassion'. We all make mistakes...

@RickeyB92 3 года назад

These comments are wild. Not everyone has the mental or physical ability to just leave their abuser. Sad situation and I really really hope she doesn’t not go back to that pos.

@sherwood9917 3 года назад

They are too busy focusing on the fact that she is unmarried with five kids to process that fact that this man abused her physically, sexually and emotionally. I don't think many appreciate how psychologically manipulative abusers are.

@sanfranciscodamn 3 года назад

sherwood991 Wrong!! My parents were married and my father emotionally and physically abuse my mother she left with seven kids! as a black woman!! that means she had much less support and sympathy from the system & the community at large so don’t try it!!

@protestinpraise6552 3 года назад

I left a message with Doctor Deloney. I could not articulate as well as this woman but I feel her soul. I am in a situation somewhat similar to hers and it's so difficult to explain to people. The why did you stay is like a gunshot wound always being reopened

@nmc1859 3 года назад

I'd imagine. Sorry you are going through this too. 😔💔

@allisoncook1340 3 года назад

Me too. He abandoned us and. Its definitely been one of my hardest struggles too. I can and do understand thissituation completely god bless her and the children. Believe he will help you heal and fill to a complete stronger version of yourself.

@2davivadiva 3 года назад

Idk I don’t feel sorry for you. People like you subject your kids to this abuse and repeatedly make excuses

@protestinpraise6552 3 года назад

@@2davivadiva I guess I should thank you for your abuse too. It's okay not to be able to put oneself in another person's shoes. We have all done this at some time in our existence. The more we grow, the more we learn

@kunya16 Год назад

"Why did you stay?" "Because I thought no one would believe me" "Because he destroyed my self worth" "Because I thought I was crazy" "Because I was so afraid" "Because he would love bomb so well that I had hope" "Because he would manipulate me and play mind games until I didn't know which way was up" "Because I tried to leave and he almost killed me" They don't understand and they can't unless they've been there.

@msshadows 10 месяцев назад

This was me. Nearing 5 years ago now. A childhood of abuse from a single mum. Then a relationship for 20 years with a psychopathic narcissist. I only left once. I fled from the UK back to Australia with my 5 children in tow. The youngest was only 3 months old. Life is still rough and the system is different here. I have finally woke up to where I need to take life and on the road to getting there. Thankyou for putting this content out there.

@cheeseburger5555 3 года назад

He left her, she didn’t make the decision 😔 Heartbreaking , all of it.

@brandiphillips5775 3 года назад

This is exactly why I'm back in college. I have a beautiful marriage and I still want a back-up plan.

@Cathy-xi8cb 3 года назад

You go, girl!!

@hiddenprofits216 3 года назад

You’re becoming an asset in your marriage GO YOU

@syedjelani7273 3 года назад

I hope you understand a degree won’t guarantee you a job or good pay.

@sueshe5953 3 года назад

Good luck with that there are no good jobs

@philliptjackson 3 года назад

@@syedjelani7273 Nothing is guaranteed but a degree does make you more likely to get hired, especially if the degree is technical, such as science engineering nursing, teaching, etc.

@AnaBananaM28 3 года назад

Dr. Delony, is there anyway a GoFund me can be set up? This woman desperately needs help. I’m not a mom but I can’t even begin to imagine what she must be going through?

@kimsmith819 3 года назад

That would be awesome. I left an abusive marriage recently and am disabled without much. I would definitely scrape up some money for this woman and her children. This is Heartbreaking

@cathyosullivan718 3 года назад

That’s such a great idea!

@jazzymichael 3 года назад

I would not trust this woman with even $20

@chrissy1448 3 года назад

She is an unmarried, stay at home mother, abused with 5 kids... she does not need a go fund me. She needs hardcore therapy...

@Wealth_Wisdom_Discernment 3 года назад

@@chrissy1448 tell that to her kids, and have some compassion

@kellijasper5912 3 года назад

She needs to file for child support. Since she is essentially homeless she will granted a temporary order. Also if she hasn’t need to apply for government assistance. She may qualify for a displaced housewives which could help her received some type the training.

@salonsavy6476 3 года назад

👍👍👍

@sanfranciscodamn 3 года назад

In general baby mamas don’t get child support

@danthonybomes9423 3 года назад

She was no housewife

@kellijasper5912 3 года назад

@@danthonybomes9423 she was the primary caretaker for the home and children. They were not legally married but she fulfilled the role of housewife/homemaker. She may not be, depending on the state, entitled to alimony but she is entitled to support from him for his children. He can always take custody, which I doubt he will unless he tries to use it as a bargaining chip.

@cathyosullivan718 3 года назад

This woman sounds like such a nice person. I wish her the best! It seems like abusive men purposely get women pregnant so they become dependent on them. I’ve heard other stories like this. It’s terrible!

@Rosie-ou2eg 2 года назад

My husband didn’t allow me to have birth control 😶

@cathyosullivan718 2 года назад

That’s terrible. I honestly think it’s a way to control a person.

@Rosie-ou2eg 2 года назад

@@cathyosullivan718 I know! I’m 20 and have 2kids! He have taken away my and my kids documents! Struggling to leave! Don’t have the freedom to go out at all!! I am in a very bad situation. Don’t know what to do??

@aubreygraham981 2 года назад

@@Rosie-ou2eg I know this was almost a year ago but I’m just now seeing your comment, did you ever get any help? I hope you guys were able to get away from him! 🌸

@Rosie-ou2eg 2 года назад

@@aubreygraham981 I did leave and filled for restraining order but didn’t get it and then he started to threaten me with lot of stuff and I ended going back. The thing is he is very rich and I am not. And when you have that much money you can do whatever like hire a hit man.

@stephaniecarleton3117 3 года назад

I like that the caller is willing to have this discussion openly, knowing she will be judged. She's free from the toxic initial situation, but it's expensive. I wish her well.

@queenisin5821 2 года назад

This is why so many dont get help the judgement and critical people.... i am so glad I helped a lady with 5 children without judgement instead of making it worse for her and her children 😢 💔

@Eric_Bassett 3 года назад

One issue I see time and time again within the Ramsey personalities is that they always push people towards church as if it will solve all their problems. This situation especially.. like it’s not gonna be as easy as walking into church and asking people to watch your FIVE kids while you work a job you don’t yet have. That’s so vague and I take 2 issues with that advice. 1) approaching pre existing friends from your church to help out is one thing but walking into a church you don’t go to and asking strangers to watch your kids... yikes. You know how many pedophiles exist in that space ?? Just because you see someone in a church does not make them a person you can trust with your little ones! 2) a lot of people go to church because they have their own problems they are working through and especially in 2021 with the pandemic still lingering I doubt she’s just gonna magically walk into church and find Someone willing to baby sit a strangers kids for the foreseeable future. Terrible advice! She needs to draw unemployment and she needs to take that dude to court for child support! ASAP. Her best bet to find a temp living situation is a GOOD FRIEND or FAMILY MEMBER who she can trust to take them in short term. She’s not just gonna show up at a church and magically find that type of support. That is outdated advice and under no circumstances should she split her kids up between people she doesn’t know from a random church. That may work for like day activities for a few hours but certainly not for overnight care and definitely not with them separated where she can’t keep an eye on them.

@rachelgooden9981 3 года назад

Soooooooooo true….. loved that you wrote this

@LILLIANARTE Год назад

You know that most murder and pedophiles are within family and the people you know right? I agree with the reality that you point out about random church goers taking care of your kids, but Dr. D was just trying to get the point across that she needs to find homes for these kids and no matter what to never go back.

@sfappetrupavelandrei Год назад

You clearly have a problem with churches. The reason Ramsey always drive people to church is because there is the biggest chance to have people helping you without any hidden interests. Are there cases when people in church are bad? Yes, of course. But what other viable option do you have? Because who would stay for years in an abusive relationship if there were any other good options with relative or friends? I'm so tired people always seeing churches as these horrible places.

@Eric_Bassett Год назад

@@sfappetrupavelandrei I don’t see churches as horrible places at all. Your just somehow offended by the fact that I pointed out not all people in the church setting are the saints they pretend to be on Sundays. Fact is, this is 2023 and ALOT of people out there aren’t even religious. I stand by what I said. I’m sorry if that bothers you but it’s my opinion, you are more than welcome to have yours.

@Selenacoco101 Год назад

Yeah this man makes no sence looks like he wants to sound like he knows what hes talking about . But he dint bc hes not a women hes a man that makes money he never been in this

@michellelee487 3 года назад

If she doesn’t have anybody to babysit she should apply at a daycare center. Most of them, where I live, let you bring your kids. And it’s free since you’re an employee.

@janeddooee 3 года назад

That’s a great idea.

@skincareceo 3 года назад

I'd be concerned about her ability to take care of children when it took her so long to walk away.

@janeddooee 3 года назад

@@skincareceo I think she was misguided and thought that going back to him would be good for the children. They would have their parents together and have income. I think she does care about the children.

@sobeliever1638 2 года назад

@@skincareceo the suggestion was to work at a center which I am sure has other adults there as well not to open one and run it all by herself.

@Raminakai Год назад

I am former pre-school teacher, this sounds great in theory, and I know you were trying to be helpful. Sometimes, it does work. Most of the time the paying parents, at least one or two of them, will not like it. If there is any behavioral issues, and often in cases like this, there are, it will create issues. Nice thought though.

@fortyseventhronin 3 года назад

And yet we still ask, "why doesn't she just leave? "

@The_Semonalisa 3 года назад

File for child support and look for part time job? It’s a small start

@salonsavy6476 3 года назад

Exactly 👍

@charlesg7926 3 года назад

@beebeelicious 3 года назад

@@charlesg7926 wow

@Stantorr 3 года назад

@@beebeelicious You do not agree that avoiding thoses situations in the first place with sound advices is a prefered way to go ? Men, especialy fathers, used to vet their daughter's pick for that very reason. The objectivity of someone who truely loves you is required. Bringing children into that mess is a disservice to them and a burden to society.

@sharonfleshman6961 3 года назад

@@charlesg7926 yes, this is great advice. Do you have a time machine to go with that advice.

@pi37 3 года назад

As, a mother this is my worse nightmare for my daughter. I see the guy she going out with is trying to put her in this situation and she can't see it. All my friends tell not to walk away, because when she falls. She will need us, to pick the piece's. I truly pray that this lady can pick up the pieces.

@crazeekids9744 3 года назад

Really wish this woman had some family. This is a time when you need to be able to take your kids and move back home until you can get on your feet.

@razmiddle9410 3 года назад

Unfortunately abusers isolate their victims from family and friends, convincing them that they're "toxic" and "manipulative," so that the abuser will be the only influence on them.

@jarelchico 3 года назад

She reached out to a "friend" that let her camp out with her kids on their backyard while they went back inside.

@pixiepianoplayer114 3 месяца назад

Some people have no families or their families are just as abusive. Its a sad, sad terrible fact. Some people fall through the cracks. I am looking up through some of those cracks from down here.

@jillpruett4772 3 года назад

Go where you're treated best.

@evanserickson 3 года назад

Nomad capitalist

@Yareth011 3 года назад

Run a in-home daycare (when you find help with housing) that way you can stay with your kids and have some income 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

@consumerdebtchitchat 3 года назад

I think the problem people are having believing isn't that she was in an abusive relationship. What they're questioning is that five kids later she is still a victim of that abuse and could not have stopped it earlier. That's the pill people are having difficulty swallowing.

@hannahalexie5158 3 года назад

He sounds just like someone I dated. I feel so blessed that God helped me out of that situation before it progressed. He helped me see the abuse that some women might not see (aka his new girlfriend). I pray for this woman’s strength. There is an amazing fulfilling life on the other side of this!

@nicolab2075 2 года назад

Why didn't God help Liz?

@hannahalexie5158 2 года назад

@@nicolab2075 Sounds like he is helping her by allowing her to see his bad traits. She is smart- she knows what she needs to do even if it is hard. She needs to use that knowledge to leave him.

@nicolab2075 2 года назад

@@hannahalexie5158 Hi there. I don't believe in God, but we can agree she'll be better off without him!!

@swong705 Год назад

She wanted to marry him and she called him the man of her dreams?!?! She is kidding right?!

@molly5262 7 месяцев назад

I don’t get why this woman would bring 5 children into this world while her partner abused her for the entire time they were together??!!! Ladies, if you’re in an abusive relationship, PLEASE, PLEASE don’t bring kids into the situation!!!!

@rachelgooden9981 3 года назад

We need a go fund me for this lady

@arlenefisher1164 Год назад

Just what I was thinking.

@amberklein1560 3 года назад

The fact that you exist means you're worth loving. You are worth being treated well.

@johnderpins7161 3 года назад

I like the fact that John writes stuff down, tells me that he’s taking his job seriously

@jennifert2953 2 года назад

Hey! Single parent here( mom). Not sure where you are from, But you are going to make it! You can do it. One second at a time, day at a time, week, month…. Put one foot in front of the other, every day. I’ll be praying for ya! And yes, it’s hard and it sucks. I wish I could just fix it for you!!!

@javaskull88 9 месяцев назад

That was powerful. If I’d had children by my abusive husband, I would have been stuck. Even then it was hard to leave because he hadn’t been violent before, and I was in shock. But I had a job, I had friends, I was able to get away and start over. My heart breaks for the women who are trapped. And yes, abused men can be trapped too.

@nikkole9951 3 года назад

Poor lady! What a horrible situation. I hope she reaches the light at the end of this dark tunnel and does not go back to that person. God bless her and her children. 😢🙏🏻

@leneeanderson4848 3 года назад

I feel so much compassion for this woman. I was in a relationship like this and it's so hard to get out. If a go fund me for her was started, I'd give $100.

@lindsijade1 3 года назад

same!!!

@CP-ud6rt 3 года назад

Why would you contribute to her poor decisions?

@leneeanderson4848 3 года назад

@@CP-ud6rt because i have first hand experience with what its like to be in a long term relationship with an abusive, manipulative bully. She made an incredibly difficult decision to leave. That took terrific courage and she should be commended, not shamed.

@CP-ud6rt 3 года назад

@@leneeanderson4848 Still doesn't justify helping her situation. She chose to stay in a relationship that wasn't good for her, had 5 children out of wedlock and is going to pay the price for it.

@Amysalol 3 года назад

@@CP-ud6rt She just left, trying to start something new for good. She needs both money and psychological help.

@bonitagleisle2470 27 дней назад

This is exactly why I stopped after 1, we aren’t well off by any means but we are completely comfortable and don’t have to worry either…. Never put yourself in this situation

@Cathy-xi8cb 3 года назад

50 years ago my mother explained why we couldn't leave my dad; money. Once she got her inheritance, the dynamic changed but she wasn't gonna leave. I left for school, determined that I would always have such a good career that I could leave anyone, at any time, and be OK financially. There was nothing at school that could temp me away from my goal: to NEVER be trapped due to money. Ever. Oh, and use birth control. Babies when you aren't ready to have one end your dreams of freedom. This poor woman still doesn't understand what she has done to her kids. Hopefully she will learn that her repeated choices after that first unplanned pregnancy have done an incredible amount of damage to them. She still thinks she had no choices.

@songriver1232 3 года назад

The children are here now. So now she has to worry about having a life and supporting these kids. And not going back to an abusive man. Abuse beats a woman down more than physically. She finally was able to leave, some woman dont leave these situations alive

@donaldlyons17 3 года назад

People like you who get skills that pay have choices. The more I work around people who do not have skills that pay (regardless of reason) they have very limited alternatives!!!

@macneoh7418 2 года назад

@@donaldlyons17 she would've had a lot more choices without having 5 kids with an abusive man.

@saraliburd7752 10 месяцев назад

She speaks the reality of narcissisticly abusive relationships And she was brainwashed and coerced and was squashed down to a nothing She articulates how it is so well

@iv9449 3 года назад

15 years - 5 kids......🤦‍♂️. I guess she was trapped. I feel sorry for her.

@Jane5720 3 года назад

At some point you make your own destiny

@danthonybomes9423 3 года назад

Trapped? Like kidnapped? Or she made the choice to stay?

@MA-jo3zg 3 года назад

@@danthonybomes9423 I’ve read your comments on several of people’s posts. You’re trying to get a rise out of people. There are other videos u could go be a troll on. Nobody can judge this lady bc manipulation and abuse are a lot harder to see clearly when you’re in it. Honestly, stop being a hateful person. Go play video games or something

@lamppole7896 3 года назад

I hope this mother will go to more than just her church and ask for help for these precious children. The church’s job is to help women and children just like this.

@Jaisee14 3 года назад

*Catholic Charities* ~They help anyone who needs it. They will find a safe place for families to live. They will provide food and clothing. They will help that person to find employment. One does NOT have to be *Catholic* to receive the help. *She needs a lot of counseling* . *Her 5 children will need a lot counseling and support* . Praying for this family of 6.

@danthonybomes9423 3 года назад

Her job was to find a husband to have children with. Instead she slept with a borderline criminal for 15 years out of wedlock and have 5 of his kids....But now the church should step in for her? That’s crazy.

@jarelchico 3 года назад

She did. She reached out to a "friend" that lets her and her kids camp out in their backyard while they go back inside.

@nicolab2075 2 года назад

@@danthonybomes9423 You're right. I wouldn't trust the Catholic Church with my kids either. Yikes.

@taniadubois5657 3 года назад

She sounds so intelligent too poor lady , hope she gets the help she & her kids need!

@pamemarald3601 3 года назад

thats because she came from a more proper household , her dad provided for his kids and didn't quit on them she had school and college education too

@tonniareed8631 3 года назад

My heart goes out to this woman. I pray she can find the strength within herself and her community to stand on her own feet and not go back to this guy. She has finally broke free.

@rachelkruse9087 3 года назад

Her reason for having 5 kids excluded not having access to birth control. It was all about keeping him entertained and in a good mood. Birth control is easy and he never had to know.

@melissabrock4114 Год назад

Birth control is not easy, you sound like a man.

@beforetherainbow355 10 месяцев назад

No. It isn’t easy. It comes with a lot of fighting and accusations. I’m in this exact situation.

@victoriastone2975 Год назад

She is highly articulate- I wish her well, from the UK 🇬🇧

@valeriezaric 8 месяцев назад

John, please get a follow up with this caller! We're all rooting for her!

@lmanderson2012 2 года назад

This is the reason I live in NYC. As expensive as this city is regarding taxes, those same taxes provide sooo many resources and programs and nonprofits and legal aid services, that are dedicated to helping women just like this. I cannot begin to imagine the amount of trauma she faced all those years. When she can, I hope she can investigate the common law marriage laws in her state to get spousal support in addition to child support.

@terintiaflavius3349 2 года назад

As a survivor I can say I often felt the cheating and verbal abuse hurt more then the physical. Maybe it's something wrong in our brains that helps us survive

@swim610 10 месяцев назад

I hope she and her kids are ok. Housing hasnt gotten any better. Dr. John suggesting she relocate to a mire resourceful area is on point.

@gabrielagabi787 3 года назад

Thank you so much for tell your story. Thank you for be so brave and keep fighting. I'm going to put your family in my thoughts.

@jaredthoma8315 3 года назад

She is living with hardly any money. She needs money for an attorney.. where the go fund for that?

@OrioleBeagle 3 года назад

Some state bar associations require attorneys to do a minimum amount of pro bono (free) work a year.

@KathyClark-us9op 5 месяцев назад

I was married with two kids for 7 years. I was hanging in because of my kids. The neglect and abuse were mostly verbally. I had a min. wage part-time job. You can't make it financially to support kids. I had no family willing to help me in a positive way. My husband was in construction. He left VA and went to Texas to work. Make a long story short. He dumped me and the kids for a younger woman. He called on the phone and asked me for a divorce. He ran from child support. I had no money for an attorney. The free service didn't do anything. I had to move back to SC to my family. That was a nightmare. I had a mother that didn't want to see you get ahead. I was so glad when I worked and got enough money to rent a small trailer. At least it was home. I don't know why she had 5 kids.

@lelajeska-roff3808 3 года назад

I had to leave a very similar situation having 6 children 10 and under ...it can be done..we lived simple yes but all are raised and grown up and are ok...

@kimsmith819 3 года назад

I wish I could reach out and hug 🤗 her. I hope she emails or texts this video to her friends, family, church members and everyone she knows. Maybe they will understand her situation better after hearing this 🙏❤

@cassieblack1776 Месяц назад

I hope Liz is doing better ❤ I hope she’s a couple steps ahead of this rat race called life. This was my mom‘s story when I was a kid and she moved out of state to start over and I’m grateful for her every day. I love my mom because she was such a rockstar and still is. Hope you see this.

@kimberlygorgoglione9237 Год назад

I still don't get why she had 5 kids with him. Birth control. He owes her child support . Get a lawyer.

@smb0621 3 месяца назад

She states later in the video she was coerced and experienced marital rape. Abusive people use pregnancy and children as tools of control. What seems like such a dismissive “easy” answer to a person outside an abusive dynamic is anything but to those within it. Besides, those children are here. Saying “birth control” as a “what you should’ve done” implies you valuing those present lives as meaningless mistakes rather than living breathing people with every right to live as you. Children born into abusive, unhappy relationships are just as valuable and worthy and deserving as children born into consenting, happy relationships.

@funmir4440 3 года назад

“What was it about the physical abuse that was ok?” NOT a good question to as a DV survivor. Much more complex than that.

@2davivadiva 3 года назад

Nope. When children are involved it’s as simple as that. You don’t subject kids to that for your mental gymnastics excuse as to why you stayed

@nicolab2075 2 года назад

I agree, that question jolted.

@arawilson Год назад

@@2davivadiva Are you gonna house her & her kids, give them health insurance & pay for stuff?

@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад

You need to make sure that you put up your own boundaries of what you feel as safe

@donnaperyginathome 2 года назад

Liz, I have been where you are. My parents did help a bit with childcare but not enough for me to work full time. They did not help me financially. Eventually, the kids grew up. In the meantime, I went back to school. I'm not sure how we made it. My advice to you is to get a good solid education in a good-paying trade as fast as you can. I suggest a programming boot camp that has a job guarantee and is free based on future income or something. You can also look into displaced homemaker grants. Another thing to consider is sterile field prep in a hospital (short course) or phlebotomy (short course). These are things that can get you employable above minimum wage ASAP. I went back for a PhD because I was paid while going to school and it wasn't quite full time for me. Honestly a programming boot camp would have been a better choice for me. Best wishes to you.

@Feliciations 3 года назад

She doesn't need little league. She needs help with the basics. Four walls. Remember Dave Ramsey. She needs to get a job, house, utilities, food. She needs counseling (women's shelter would be a great place to start, usually free). So many resources for abused women.

@jaqueitch 3 года назад

Why are you having 5 kids outside of a marriage. Says a lot right there.

@sanfranciscodamn 3 года назад

👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

@nicolab2075 2 года назад

What does it say?

@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад

So here’s my problem with stay at home. Mom’s mom stayed at home with the kids all day. Dad’s go out to work they make a paycheck and they get to hang out with their buddies.

@macaan45 Месяц назад

I’m in the same position, i have 3 kids with no family support or a job. Im planing on leaving for good this time.

@shinea1013 3 года назад

Seek deep within your soul and bring that strength and courage out to move away and stay away from that grownboy. There’s help out there for your kids, just Ask.

@lcat9b549 3 года назад

Man I wish they would make a GoFundMe or her venmo available I'd donate now!!

@halothreekiller Месяц назад

My mom went through this almost exactly. Went from stay at home mom with 5 kids to packing us in the car in the middle of the night to run away from abuse. We all split up and stayed with friends for a week at a time each before we moved to different places. She was working like mad throughout the whole thing and one of us 5 was in and out of juvee the whole time. She made it and owns a house now and we’re all moved out.

@Tristum1970 3 года назад

Seriously, this is what crowdfunding was Meant for.

@JoaddahfromCAMEROON 11 месяцев назад

I don't understand why women who experience abuse in ANY form continue to reward these creeps with children & families...It seems to me that some women have an unlimited capacity to GASLIGHT THEMSELVES, to endure & even ignore red flags...There seems to be UNAWARENESS of a survival instinct & we run INTO THE LIONS DEN...I hear these stories & I just do NOT understand the mindset...

@beforetherainbow355 10 месяцев назад

I am in her exact situation, except I haven’t been able to make it out yet. Unless you’re in it, you won’t understand it. I have 5 children who need a roof over their head and food in their bellies. I’ve applied to over 200 jobs and when you haven’t worked in 15 years people just don’t want to hire you. When you’re with an abuser everything suffers. Every single thing this woman says is absolutely my story, except for the exit.

@agricolaregs 3 года назад

I wonder if he was nicer to her while she was pregnant and maybe that’s why she continued to have more kids.

@Yummy2u 3 года назад

She said it was marital r@pe

@jessietuck6439 3 года назад

I can't believe he told her to separate the kids. When I was leaving my abusive husband there wasn't anything that could make be be away from my boys

@tacooflove6175 3 года назад

Only temporarily because shes living in a tent with wheels.

@jessietuck6439 3 года назад

@@tacooflove6175 I can understand why someone who hasn't lived this would believe that. On the surface, it's logical. However, this mom and her kids have already lost everything they know. Granted the life they lnew was extremely negative, but it was the life they knew and is it's gone. All they have is each other. It would be another trauma to separate them even in the name of better housing. The mom already feels like she has failed and harmed her kids. If she has to separate them its just another failure. The depression that will follow that would probably immobilize her. If she has her kids with her, even in a camper, she is far more likely to fight to improve the situation. Besides, people choose to live in campers getting out of debt often. It can be done. Obviously it's not a long term solution but it will probably motivate her

@sarasirchia9042 3 года назад

@@jessietuck6439 I thought the same. Thank you for saying this. The kids need each other and their mother, especially now. She'd be crushed without them.

@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад

You need to find a friend that can be there for you and support you and the way that you need and if you need a friend to watch your child so you can go to work to get back on your feet and establish your own stable living environment for your kids that isn’t full of toxicity

@ericalashan1923 Год назад

When my parents divorced my mother SHOWED my brother and I that go means go. If I had a kid stuff like this hurts the kids more in the long run. They did a job co-parenting.

@luv2bmama376 7 месяцев назад

It’s scary being a single parent starting out with nothing but you kids and their needs in tow. I’ve done it for 12 years now with my three kids. I still struggle to do it and am proud my oldest is finishing her first college semester. I am so far from buying a home and have debt. It’s not easy. I live it one day at a time and enjoy all the little moments and big moments. I always set a lot of goals and start with short term and always contribute to my long term goals. Prioritize providing and take all the help you can get and learn to only focus on the basics at first: food, clothing and shelter. Then work on friends that become family and become your village to raise these kids. Don’t be afraid to get government assistance you’re eligible for. You have plenty of support stop being afraid of independence because your self confidence is so beat down. Focus on building you and your kids up one day at a time and one need at a time for your new family. Keep that crap bag away until you are truly independent and he gets therapy and anger management treatment. Protect your kids at all costs. I’m finally truly seeing this light at the end of the tunnel and it’s been 12 years as a single mom. I never stopped trying and never stopped knocking out the goals. Keep going one day at a time Mama. Sending you love from us mothers ❤

@lisag2684 10 месяцев назад

It seems like this woman doesn’t have many people & family around to help her. Dr Delony is giving her advice as if she has that. She needs to go to the dshs and ask for help. It might be minimal but they will giver her some sort of help to keep the kids together. 😢 She’s strong and she’ll overcome it in time.

@dede4539 Месяц назад

My father and mother saw so many women struggling in their own lives. When they had my sisters and I, they taught us the importance of being financially independent. We had to be able to support ourselves because you never know what will happen in the future. A very difficult concept to teach young people, especially once they start dating. It has to start earlier.

@zakiyaseedat3180 11 месяцев назад

Surely, listeners in America or those who live in Alabama can contact her and offer this lady a helping hand.

@starlingswallow Год назад

Praying for you, caller ❤ I'm so sorry you've been through this horror. I went through it w/o kids, thank you God.

@CP-3333 4 месяца назад

Ladies be very careful about continually reproducing with someone who is physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive. It is less than smart and completely unfair to the children. You will not be able to undo what they have experienced.

@sueshe5953 3 года назад

Government assistance. There are no jobs that pay the 250k a year you need to pay for that many kids.

@eurekahope5310 3 года назад

Interesting that you think you need $250,000 for 5 children. We have a large family in California on one income. Sure, we have older cars and a modest home, but our children have never gone without necessities.

@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад

Your kids are going to respect you more if you leave a toxic abusive relationship in the long run

@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад

I heard all the excuses from my mother when she used to get beat by my alcoholic father he doesn’t mean it he doesn’t truly feel that way he would never hurt me. These are delusional thinking of somebody who is truly living in the gray area of reality.

@kristinaherrejon7181 3 года назад

This is a very intelligent woman.

@SeekAfterGod 11 месяцев назад

Gods got you mama

@jessicat7245 3 года назад

There are very few Christians comments here (or at least I hope there few Christian commenters) because many of the comments are heartless and thoughtless. Just thank God if you lack understanding on the process of abuse and how it tears you down.

@kiki11974 3 года назад

Religion doesn’t override common sense. Don’t presume someone’s religious affiliation or beliefs because they think the caller is out of her mind to have 5 kids with a no good dude

@brandiphillips5775 3 года назад

@@kiki11974 Of course she is out of her mind after 15 years of abuse. That doesn't negate the callous and disgusting people who judge her.

@NomadicLifer 3 месяца назад

Why would she choose to bring kids into a horrible situation like this? Her kids deserve better. My mom chose to stay in an abusive relationship and continued to have kids with him. If you don't care about yourself, at least do it for your kids. She's allowed him to completely cripple her because she doesn't have a way to support herself. Never ever be a stay at home mom for a man someone without being married. You have absolutely no legal standing when you put yourself in that situation.

@plamondonworks6948 Месяц назад

You're assuming a lot that you don't have the authority to assume. She did mention r@pe in this partnership. Plus violence. Plus mental abuse. It's very easy to see the bigger picture from afar

@whynot4 2 года назад

This poor woman I know your hell.

@maryalicecampbell341 11 дней назад

In my affluent area there are elders with big houses that need live in caregivers to stay home that would enjoy the children. We have a shortage of elder care help. she could care for her kids and the seniors at the same time while squeezing in education. my county is famous and proud of being no 1 in locking up dead beat dads. call 211 for resources she should be Abel to apply for emergency section 8 also. I agree she needs help to get child support. This is so tough.

@gbcmmm 3 года назад

This is so sad. I wish there was a way to help women in this situation. It's literally a woman and her kids fleeing a war zone with nothing.

@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад

You need to get a safety kit together you need to get an extra set of keys to your car. Hide them somewhere. You need to get a safe exit plan together.

@jakevonstein8683 3 года назад

This guy sounds like a complete joke of a man... I feel for this woman. I know based on how she’s talking she’ll bounce back. I hope she finds an amazing guy

@vanessapanek9959 5 месяцев назад

There are lots of daycare providers out there that except childcare assistance as payment for watching your child and 90% of the time if you just explain to them you’re trying to really get out of a domestic violence situation. They will work on you with you when it comes to Daycare