How Do We Move On From Traumatic Pasts?

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How Do We Move On From Traumatic Pasts?
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Опубликовано:

7 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 37

@el676 2 года назад

Only watched 4 min so far. We all need a John in our life for these moments. How powerful telling her to delete them.

@abstephan4351 2 года назад

I went no contact with my parents and siblings 5 years ago because being in contact with them would trigger me and keep me in crisis. I have four kids and a healthy, supportive husband with years of outpatient and one on one therapy under my belt, and I believe I made the best decision to go no contact with my toxic and narcissistic parents. I have to stop the cycle of abuse and remain healthy for MY family. Yes, my kids do not see their grandparents anymore, but the grandparents aren’t healthy so it’s best to say goodbye. It’s very sad but it’s necessary to be the best wife and mother to my four kids and husband. They deserve all my love and to live in a safe and healthy home. Listen to this advice from Dr John and go no contact and live a life of freedom with no toxicity and games. It’s a wonderful chapter when you find peace. God Bless!

@hammy6275 2 года назад

Proud of you for breaking that cycle and doing better for your family and yourself!

@starlingswallow 2 года назад

Amy, I'm so so so so grateful you went no contact. You are worth that! ♥️👏🏻👏🏻 I'm praying you are flourishing now that you are free from that toxicity!

@abstephan4351 2 года назад

@@starlingswallow You are so sweet to comment and say such kind words! I'm much better and I try to avoid triggers as much as I can and have done a lot of work to overcome the childhood. My husband has been very supportive, but living and being married with someone that has C-PTSD is not easy. I get very angry at my parents because they were inept and in denial about all the issues in the home, but I have to move on and not hold on to the past, otherwise I'm stuck. I'm in year 6 of my healing, and although it's not easy to talk about all the trauma, I HAVE to do the work for my kids and hubby. I am breaking the cycle of intergenerational abuse and I WILL live my best life for me and my family! God Bless You, Starling!

@melindaiketau 6 месяцев назад

I did the same thing and do not regret it!. My life is so much better and the stress is dramatically lower.

@scotto4428 5 месяцев назад

I just wrote the finally let today and letting my abusive Father go. Please pray for me. And thanks for sharing that it can be done. I too am ending the cycle of abuse for my family.

@destinysdesire2536 2 года назад

I love Dr. John's advice when dealing with abusive toxic family members.

@midwifeohyeah22 2 года назад

I just want to be her friend. What an amazing woman and her husband to do all this work to stop the family trauma. ❤❤❤❤

@shea1219 2 года назад

Cut those people OFF IMMEDIATELY AND FOREVER.

@grafando 2 года назад

Never EVER give them the chance again. They will NOT change. Do NOT open yourself up to them ever again.

@blackbull1655 2 года назад

@@grafando hey man everyone deserves a second chance...and plus they're parents not some aliens from Xenia who you don't have any relationship with

@GailOwens 4 месяца назад

@blackbull1655 Sadly, some people don't. I jursed my bpd/ narc mum for years. I destroyed my life her every every part of me. I am now slowly dying of several diseases.

@megankennedy7879 3 месяца назад

Dr. John My boyfriend was raped in high school and was traumatized with 9/11 and he still has nightmares how can I help him

@deannaschlabach 2 года назад

Thank you so much for sharing this woman’s bravery. Thank you John for telling it like it is. The world is taking notes on how to advance and heal from trauma.

@Restyoursoul287 2 года назад

Therapy. Needed. ASAP.

@kyrieteleison3009 2 года назад

I wish I lived near her. I would love to be her friend!

@nikstar1313 4 месяца назад

No contact 3.5 years …. Hardest thing I ever done but never felt peace in my cns like this before ❤🎉

@sudon1153 10 месяцев назад

I scored 6, no wonder my health is bad! But God!

@DogmaGirlAD 2 года назад

Oh, and as someone who has worked professionally with other people's children in a variety of contexts and settings for years: You know the biggest thing you can do to help teachers and other professionals who invest in your children to do an even better job? Tell us directly (Not just via the main office) with each new teacher etc. That XYZ people have a restraining order against them for your kids. You don't have to tell us why or try and rehash any trauma or anything. Most of us understand the seriousness of a restraining order. And it makes a little bit easier for us when we're planning different activities in the classroom such as "about my family etc." picture for on the bulletin board. We don't want to accidentally ask about Grandma and make your kid feel super ostracized or like they're the only weird ones without grandparents etc. We don't want to set up a situation where the kid is asking you "why am I the only kid who doesn't get to see their grandparents?" I respect your right to have your own private conversations with your kid and keep in my place. Please do me the favor of letting me know the information I need to best support you and invest in your kids.

@shannalee80 3 месяца назад

She needed to block them before deleting them. If she just deletes them, they can still call her, and she won’t see their name to warn her. Is that correct?

@starlingswallow 2 года назад

Sweet woman~ are you in trauma therapy? This is imperative. For both of you ♥️ I'm so grateful that you guys have each other! I was in an abusive marriage for 14 years, married to a Narcissist. My now husband's dad is a Narcissist. I hate that this happened to us but at the same time it has blessed us, our relationship and ourselves. I'd recommend "When to walk away" by Gary Thomas. This is hard, HARD stuff...but YOU are worth protecting. Your husband and your kids are worth protecting. John is right, I know they are family but they have lost the privilege of having any contact with you! ♥️

@jansilloway325 2 года назад

I’m hearing Dave’s voice saying “we’re family!” in that insane voice. She’s going to break free!!

@tyrone8867 2 месяца назад

My guy broke that down lmao, great job man. And hope the couple is doing better now along with their kids

@thamiresalvestomaz680 2 месяца назад

I just wanted to reach out to support the caller and say that no contact is not something to feel guilty about. It is a exercise in virtues of temperance and caution even if and when it doesn't seem so to others. I've had some trauma (not nearly the same as the caller) but as it is i can't be in safe contact with family. It is sad because in order to do so i've moved and currently have no one in my life. Sometimes loneliness gets the better of the best of us and i've shared some episodes with inappropriate people trying to get a connection and of course i didn't succeed and now have to deal with a uncomfortable work environment that i created. I'm glad the caller has two relationships with trustworthy people that understand and dont mock her for her past or the ways to deal with it and wish the best of luck in the new and hopefully better place they will find away from the abusers. All of us deserve that. Slowly i too hope to trust only in people that are worthy of trust and be safe in relationships

@Sup_girl73 2 года назад

This resonated so much with me, trauma impacts on everything. Your trauma matters, on every level. Boundaries are, letting the good in (you are worthy) and keeping the bad out. (protecting the inner you) What an incredible woman, she has inspired me. Thank you.

@COINsimp2024 2 года назад

I hope she gets the help she needs because this is no way to live. In regards to the restraining order, they both need to be on the same page and they'll need to call the cops a few times to prove they need it. They will not just issue one because you want one, they need to see the need.

@paulagentile3801 2 года назад

Yes, you have your family, you your husband and kids, move if necessary. You are respobsiblne to keep yourselves and your kids away from those monsters. Get in a church and develop a new family. Let God release you from the strongholds of your past. A new man and woman can emerge in christ. You dont have to entertain your past or live in it anymore, give it up, or you will allow them to taint the rest of your lives and your childtens. Praying for you.

@evearcana2392 2 года назад

Sweet child - try Neurofeedback therapy - it saved my life. Please look into a Neurofeedback center or practitioner near you and find true peace 💖

@el676 2 года назад

One thing I will say is for anyone that’s considering taking an aces quiz, don’t use this to make any serious decisions about your life. I don’t even know why this is still cited by professionals - it’s meaningless.

@paulagentile3801 2 года назад

You are knee deep in drama, cut it off, or at some pojnt, on some level I think you are looking for something you are NEVER gonna get