How Not To Be Jealous Of His Past - Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy

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It’s easy to feel jealous of our partner’s past, or even just sad that we weren’t a part of it.
They’ve been through so much without us.
Not only have they had other relationships, they’ve also travelled to other countries, had incredible experiences, and been through ups and downs that we don’t even know about.
In this week’s LOVELife, we tackle the problem of how to deal with the jealousy we can feel when we think of those experiences we’ve missed out on having with our partner for the first time..
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Опубликовано:

3 мар 2016

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Комментарии : 261

@hipnhappenin 7 лет назад

I thought I was the only one who felt this. Amazing.

@pinky5902 4 года назад

Me too

@theswiftvet7107 4 года назад

Me too!

@anne17danah 3 года назад

Same :)

@SBEJL 7 лет назад

It's ruining my relationship the thought of him and his ex 😭 I don't know what to do

@Kim_Ngumbela 7 лет назад

SBEJL me too OMG I thought I was the only one for real!!! I hate feeling like this so much!! Every time he talks about her it ruins my day.

@SBEJL 7 лет назад

kimmy gial you are def NOT the only one. Yea exactly and mine is worse, I know they used to meet in his car most of the time, so since he told me that I'm only in his car if we have to go somewhere, nothing else happens in that stupid car or any other car because of that bitch'

@Kim_Ngumbela 7 лет назад

SBEJL Thats so me!! I don't know how to stop being jealous! I hoped this video could help :( but it didn't really!!! I really want to stop feeling this way. A few days ago he told me how fond of his ex his parents were of his ex, and I've always know they liked her. Which is why I kinder don't want to meet them! Cause I feel like I'll just be compared to her and maybe they won't like me. Now I hate her for it :(

@SBEJL 7 лет назад

kimmy gial awww girl , that's the worst part. Meeting people who had a relation with her and they actually liked her , there's this fear of comparison and especially if they for some reason end up not liking you , it makes one hate her even more. My fiancé 's ex had a really good relationship with his family, I used to have it too in the beginning but got in a fight with his sister and it ruined everything. So try no matter what to make his family like you, it's so important, otherwise it feels like she won and she doesn't deserve that. But if his family likes you a lot , it will kill her to see it if she's already jealous of you.

@Vbg404 6 лет назад

wow how totally insecure you all are, if his past was great he would still be there , so do not distroy the present, have you also not ngot past?

@heyitsadrie 4 года назад

I'm feeling this right now. I literally have no experience, it's my first relationship and he comes from a 7 year relationship . I don't know what to do. Thank you for this video.

@oj6328 Год назад

@@enileshkarosa1043 are you going through this? How are you coping?

@yowanehakuuu 11 месяцев назад

That’s sad :’(

@alexandrineb7752 8 лет назад

I admit.... I think this has been my biggest struggle and insecurity in all my relationships so far. Thank you! hero of the day ;)

@PreciousB1983 3 года назад

Same!!!

@civilusa1675 5 лет назад

My boy had girlfriends but he don’t talk to them and nothing but i just feel jealous, like i don’t want him to have that past, I WANNA BE HIS PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

@maissavelymatuscsak6019 4 года назад

cielols 16 i know how you feel

@ravenvalkyrie7725 4 года назад

Same here 😔😔😭😭💔💔 if only we know or meet them before

@pattyg8697 4 года назад

Sameeee girl

@PuipuiiRalte 4 года назад

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@marcellusrobinson1465 2 года назад

I'm late I know but everyone please with a humble and open heart please research Zach Stockill retroactive active jealousy on RU-vid. It saved me from this. Please 🙏

@Designbluejv 4 года назад

Reading the comments helped me bring to light “if his past was so great then he would still be there” like if my ex wouldn’t have messed up I would have still be there with him because I loved him so much. But I’m not I’m here with someone new someone who wants to be with me.

@joyc5361 8 лет назад

i cried while listening to this. just had a fight with bf now. so jealous of his ex

@CarmenGarcia-ph8dg 7 лет назад

Someone told me a long time ago "sometimes I wish I was the only but then I think about it and at the end it's the same, because you've never done it before the way you did it with me". It made me feel so so special and unique...Thank you for your words, Mathew. You're so smart and kind and it's always a pleasure to listen to your advice. Love. Carmen

@alexbrautigan4621 5 лет назад

Retroactive jealousy is real. It's beatable, even when you feel it isn't. Seek help about it specifically. It's just a form of ocd, and you can beat it.

@marcellusrobinson1465 2 года назад

Thank you Alex I am late but I am trying to respond to as many comments on here about retroactive Jealousy

@DaJbieberSwag 4 года назад

I have the same problem. Mine mainly stems from the fact that he is my first bf and my first everything, whilst he has already had his first and more after that. He’s introduced girls to his parents who weren’t even his girlfriends and had a good few flings whilst I didn’t. I know it’s his past and I have to accept it, but I can’t help feeling like im ‘girl number 6’ or something like that. He tells me im still the best he’s had and this is the longest relationship he’s had (3yrs) but now and then I still feel insecure. Especially when he brings up the past and talks about it, which he doesn’t do all the time but every few months or so. Insecurity sucks big time. I just feel like for every first im having he’s already had his.

@kokoberen 4 года назад

Omg SAME GURL SAME. He is my first but im not his first! When we started dating i didnt care much about that but i also know he had exes before ( when we were friends he told me about them a little bit) he always tells me you are the only girl ive been in love. His past relationships didnt take long because as he told me he was looking serious relationship but girls were not. He told me his longest relationship only like 1 month or something. And now we are together for 3 years and i know him since 2016. I have the same feeling, i didnt even see those girls or i dont have a huge information about them. But when i think im not his first and his not first experience i feel bad. Sometimes its just ok. I say to myself it was his past. Even we had fights for his past he told me i cant change my past. And sometimes its very reasonable. But i just cant stop this feeling comes sometimes. Hope we get over it. Because its just really past and now he is living his life with you. Try to focus on your relationship ❤

@gaileesims273 3 года назад

I’m girl number 10 😭😭

@MiaCarter7 3 года назад

Same. I feel like another number sometimes. Crazy because I was saving myself and ended up with someone I love dearly but... he took alot of time to explore women lol. He has experienced things that I'll probably never experience now. Hurts sometimes thinking about it because he's not just another number for me 😒But I guess "past them" didnt know they'd meet us.

@ellenkurghinyan1582 2 года назад

Same…That sucks ) sometimes I wish I didn’t know him, he is a great guy and is so polite and it hurts so much) he had so much fun with these girls , there is nothing he hadn’t done before)))) that hurts I love him , I appreciate him but sometimes I even don’t want to see him because at that moment I think that’s meaningless

@MetalHeadSkull2082 2 года назад

Same!! I was saving myself for someone special (him of course!) and he’s had experience with other girls before me and it’s so hurtful to think he did that stuff with other girls but there is nothing I can do about it so it’s driving me insane especially when we end up having conversations about that stuff

@zlozvyk 8 лет назад

How about him talking about his experience with exes because that's his past and they were part of his life?.. It makes me more jealous than if he's been to places.

@alexbrautigan4621 5 лет назад

Check out Zachary Stockhill. It's called retroactive jealousy. Its real, it's beatable.

@Mickswithtwix 7 лет назад

I cannot believe how true this is, honestly I feel completely different now... I have felt this way towards my boyfriend's past for so long and I felt so bad about having these thoughts that I never had the confidence to talk about it with him. Now you have just made me feel so understood and I really started to see those things in a different light, thank you. Your voice sounds so calming!

@josieabrahamson1959 5 месяцев назад

The quote I will forever remember is “I want to see your London,” I’m struggling a lot with jealously right now. This is my first relationship that I feel could last. I’ve never loved before this relationship and I haven’t ever felt jealous before this relationship either. I have to remember that he doesn’t want her London, he doesn’t want to visit her London, because he’s already been there. He’s already experienced it, there’s a reason he left her London. He wants to see my London, he wants to experience things with me, he wants me and everything I give him, not her.

@badgirlhollywood9741 2 года назад

Social media makes these things harder than they need to be. Most people get over their ex but with the photos it’s too much

@marcellusrobinson1465 2 года назад

That is so damn true

@Heyitsmimi 4 года назад

I'm literally crying so hard right now because I don't know how to get over his past. He had an ex that he went on vacations with his family and his family loves her still and is friends with her and I recently moved in and I feel so alone and I don't know what to do.

@jaquelinez2991 3 года назад

girllll im really going through similar feelings and its ruining such a good thing 😔 if you ever wanna chat lmk im here for ya!

@fardinsaraf6026 3 года назад

@@jaquelinez2991 as if you girls don't have a past ?

@jaquelinez2991 3 года назад

@@fardinsaraf6026 thats the point jerk. WE KNOW WE ALSO HAVE A PAST, BUT YET WHY DOES THEIRS BOTHER US SO MUCH. thats the issue NOT THEM BUT HOW WE PERCEIVE THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION. so before you start pointing fingers, understand the situation and psychology a little deeper yeah?

@jaquelinez2991 3 года назад

@@fardinsaraf6026 people like you dont have much of a “past” lmfaoo so you get off on coming after people that you dont know and will never understand their mental processes and triggers. fool.

@alyssaballardo4521 2 года назад

I'm sorry girl I can relate. However we have to think that that is in the past for a reason....it didn't work out. The benefit is y'all found each other now.

@anewloveofficial9137 6 лет назад

Jealousy is a part of a relationship but everything that is too much is never a healthy thing in your relationship. So better take control with your self before it's too late.

@nuis1234 6 лет назад

I also got this feeling. Just found out about a girl in my bf's past. She looks cool and I wonder why my bf is with me. I just can't help feeling this. And for the first time Matthew's vid can't help me :(

@christinalucas1002 6 лет назад

Izzati Suhaimi focus on the future, not your past. He is with you now :) cast those thoughts down because they can ruin what you have in the future. If you are worried about why they broke up and if you will break up the same way, you should see what he does in your relationship. You don't need and interview from his ex or compare yourself to him lol

@chairunissasyafwinia2049 4 года назад

same sis🥺

@ellenkurghinyan1582 2 года назад

Honey I feel exactly the same, mine had really many exes and had great memories with them, his family loved one of the girl,,,, I know what you feel, you are not alone, the only thing is maybe to be the best version of ourselves, don’t focus on just one boy:/ make our mind busy, and love life, feel the power and nature and focus on that not on them…I know saying these is easier than doing it so I believe human being mind is powerful and we can do it….

@marcellusrobinson1465 2 года назад

Please you beautiful woman, with a humble and open heart research Zach Stockill retroactive active jealousy on RU-vid it has saved my relationship. Please find peace 🙏

@christelleconti2550 7 лет назад

This ruined my relationship completely. Mainly because he kept on lying about his past and I soon enough found out again and again different things he didn't tell me which made me more jealous because he kept on hiding those things. I don't care if he meant that to "protect my feelings". At the end of the day, he was dishonest and that's a lot worse than hurting someone with the truth. Edit: 6 years later, I’m with someone I love and feel completely safe with. We got engaged yesterday and just wanted to share the positive vibes. 💛

@christinalucas1002 6 лет назад

Mary Kotlar love does not mean stay..

@DTA1313 5 лет назад

How did you get past it? Im in the same boat

@belenrifo6737 4 года назад

True 🙂

@maddiec5599 4 года назад

Same girl

@christelleconti2550 4 года назад

Devika saw this late but for those who need it, I would say that if it's costing too much of your mental health and you think you can't trust them anymore, then there's no reason for you to keep holding on to that relationship. At least what I would say for mine as I've only been with him for a few years and we weren't married nor living together, so it was easier to get over it. edit: I know it’s easier said than done but it’s worth it. You deserve to be with someone you feel safe with and can trust.

@winter_s_44 8 лет назад

I so needed this video right now at this exact moment in my life. My situation is different. I am four years older than the guy I am interested in but he has done and lived so much more than I have. I am kind of a late bloomer and I have always felt self-conscious about that. I am not as experienced and I haven't done as much and it kind of leaves me feeling doubtful that he would view me as being "enough". I am slowly starting to get into the things I have held myself back from doing, but I am jealous at times and not only jealous, but I feel "mediocre" compared to him and his life.

@lauraheidorn4767 8 лет назад

+Tiff S : your life has meaning too. Everything you did in your life has been for a reason to get to this point. You can still experience things in life even if they seem not as great. The great thing about being with a person that has done a lot is that he is into being outgoing. So you can do stuff together. Share a good dating life together and do things you always wanted to do together and make your memories together special. That's the greatest thing about love and being in love with someone is that even the littlest moments can make the best memories. Bring a camera and take pictures to keep in a scrapbook of the things you do together. Just live your life to the fullest.

@winter_s_44 8 лет назад

Laura Heidorn Thank you! I know. I agree, it's just my negative thinking that creeps up from time to time. But everything you have said makes perfect sense. Thank you!

@lauraheidorn4767 8 лет назад

your welcome

@reginaphalange7413 2 года назад

these comments have helped me feel less alone in this situation, thank y’all :)

@matthewtonna1 3 года назад

If your partner attacks you for your past or something tell them every decision I’ve did has led me to meet you

@Megasupercoolest 5 лет назад

Thank you Matthew. I am crying. This means a lot to me.

@cil.4535 6 лет назад

What you just said just brings me to tears

@Byronwannabe 4 года назад

Thank you for this video! Makes me realize I am not the only one who feels this way... your words meant a lot to me!

@jujubs999 5 лет назад

I’m just crying like a baby while I’m watching this.

@jessicakeller5344 4 года назад

This helped me release a huge weight Off my shoulders!!! I was constantly having the same exact feelings and this just took a huge wall down between me and my lover

@noemibennani471 8 лет назад

Well done again dear Matthew... you have a great gift, God bless you :)

@roseqore8073 5 лет назад

my partner has had sex with up to seven people before me and i physically cannot get over it. it hurts to think of them in the settings of sexual stories they've told me. the couch i'm sat on? they had sex on it. that bed? had a threesome there. they'd tell me so many stories that i never wanted to hear. it's been a year and not a day goes by where i don't think about these things. the worst part is that when they ask me what's troubling me, they don't understand. i try and explain that if it were the other way around, it's usually upsetting. they don't see it.

@peneloped.sev.8992 2 года назад

Are you in a better place now?

@roseqore8073 2 года назад

@@peneloped.sev.8992 no he gaslit and sexually assaulted me. it just got way worse on my end

@TheDripNeedsMe 2 года назад

Sorry to hear and I hope you heal from this experience

@roseqore8073 2 года назад

@@TheDripNeedsMe thank you, it means a lot

@marcellusrobinson1465 2 года назад

@@roseqore8073 I'm sorry you went through that he his wrong for treating you that way after you expressed your uncomfortableness with the subject. I know just how that must of felt. Research Zach Stockill retroactive Jealousy on RU-vid it helped me immensely.

@purplecatinlove1900 8 лет назад

The Great Gatsby ! Favorite quote "you always look so cool"

@kirakaye 3 года назад

I never thought i needed this right now. Thank you so muchhh

@kkkkkkkkkk955 8 лет назад

wow never thought of it like this before. Thank you Matt!

@lando8568 3 года назад

This is so amazing. Definitely what I needed

@navneetkaur225 4 года назад

I am dating a guy I gave my virginity to and we love each others a lot. But I get soooo jealous of his past because he has been with a few people before me. He never mentioned them to me unless I ask him. Its ruining our amazing relationship a lot. Please help me god! 🙏 don't want to lose him. I get depressed too because of this and all I can think of during that time is him with those girls. :(

@marcellusrobinson1465 2 года назад

I'm so sorry Navneet I hope I'm not to late but I am here to help. I know just how you feel the uncontrollable obessessive, constant thoughts and mental images about your partners past. It is a living hell. Your experiencing something called retroactive Jealousy and it is just terrible. But there is hope you are not alone. Research Zach Stockill retroactive Jealousy on RU-vid he is saving my relationship and my life. Be at peace.

@misstarshiny1 8 лет назад

that was lovely Matt! thanks for sharing

@dylanbuchman8128 8 лет назад

Ooh I've experienced that this is a good one. And this is so sweet

@Sarasari3 8 лет назад

But how can you not be jealous of their former love life, especially if they are still friends w their ex??

@hocinebenayache3695 8 лет назад

being friends with their ex is a red flag .... either your partner cuts contact completely and prices it or you leave him .... It's a white or black kind of situation .

@hocinebenayache3695 8 лет назад

+Hocine Benayache proves it not prices .

@Sarasari3 8 лет назад

+Hocine Benayache Ha! Wish it was that simple. I really like him and trust him, we've been together for awhile. They are not bestfriends, they are friends. thing is: They were friends w benefits after they broke up, but then we met and his ex is now dating one of his best friends (wtf?) I know it sounds like: "redflagredflagredflag" but we get along and he is pretty chill, I really like that abt him. But still, I get jealous and it sucks. Thank you for being kind and responding :)

@RingxWorld 8 лет назад

+Saridi I'm a guy and my stance on jealousy is to say shit that sketches me out but not to burden people I'm dating with my insecurity. If I feel like I cant trust someone though I will break up with them.

@Sarasari3 8 лет назад

+salty .cats thank you so much for your perspective! the "not burden them w my insecurity" really resonated w me. thanks, I need to incorporate that in my life. May I ask what you do when you feel insecure? cause I struggle w that. thanks!

@AzzizaNaomi 8 лет назад

You always hit the nail on the head.

@marinadram Год назад

Amazing video and advice! Such a different and helpful video thank you!❤️

@zezek616 8 лет назад

What if he's bragging about his past and that how his vacations were awesome with his friends and although he doesn't say it but when he says that he went to that city with "friends" it means that his ex included ! And im freakin jealous all i keep thinking about when he starts talking like that is the things i did in my past without him so it would make me feel we are kinda equal but the truth it draws us apart , one time we had a huge fight because he wanted to take me to an island he likes alot and i directly asked him "have u ever been there with your ex?" And he said yes , so i said i dont want to go there then and he said he doesn't want to be with someone who judges him on things he did in the past

@Cheesy_Cakey 3 года назад

One day my boyfriend and I were at his house, and he played a song that he had shown me a long time ago when we were trying to get to know each other and start dating. Then he said "This song reminds me of someone from two years ago ... If only I hadn't thought twice, things would be different." I know who he is talking about, that girl who gave him so many teachings and genuinely loved. That event has not left my mind, sometimes he mentions her and fantasizes a little about her when I mention something that reminds him of her. It makes me feel really bad and I told him the first time it happened, but this time of the song it made me feel worse, sometimes I think he misses her more than to like being with me. I also have my past, I loved someone else very much and he is perfectly aware of that, so sometimes I feel a little guilty for feeling upset because he mentions her. And it is a damage that I inflict on myself by thinking that I am not enough, when many times he has shown me that I am who he loves and wants in his life.

@azingwaray10687 3 года назад

Right! no need to be jealous Past is past

@kanizfatima1377 Год назад

Wtfff God truly works in mysterious ways! I have been thinking and stressing my mind over this for sooo many days ! This video helped me so much and gave me new perspective! The comments give me so much comfort too ! Listen ladies since it mostly ladies who go through this what we are feelings is intense but just proof that we are human with desire and with emotional needs

@GAMEXZONE6 5 лет назад

Ua best of all i heard before..salute to ur voice it made ma heart calm...😊

@chichipeachie2171 8 лет назад

you hit the nead right on its hail. .lol awesome stuff x

@csobol1 8 лет назад

Love, love, love this!

@britanny5363ify 8 лет назад

Has he done a video on how to not be jealous of your guys former love life????

@britanny5363ify 8 лет назад

+786LILJOKER hmm love that 💕☺️

@Ninitschga 8 лет назад

+Britanny B Also: your partner is the person he is today BECAUSE of his past and the things he experienced and learned / has overcome / endured. It only becomes a problem if they live in the past and have this "my best days are already behind me" - mindset... that's a red flag for me.

@marcellusrobinson1465 2 года назад

Please with a humble and open heart research Zach Stockill retroactive Jealousy on RU-vid. You are not alone and you can overcome this. Please 🙏

@Alixir1228 2 месяца назад

@@NinitschgaI don't like this idea either. So because of other women my boyfriend is who he is? They had THAT much of an effect on him? Yuck. No thanks.

@salmachi9836 8 лет назад

Great topic 👍👍👍

@junetennyson59 3 года назад

Thank you, Matthew.

@ladyliberty8644 3 года назад

Thank you for this.

@joyc5361 8 лет назад

i realized i miss him so much

@ichdieLivi 4 года назад

The only thing I am always jealous of is how they were raised. I was raised by a Narc mother, who blamed me for everything and made me feel guilty and shameful of everything. I was never allowed a thing, not having boyfriends, she hated most of my friends, I was not allowed to learn how to play the guitar because she didn't like it ("funny", SHE is now learning how to play it), she constantly badmouthed me towards family members, I was not allowed to have friends over and so on. I always KNEW this is all not right, that I should be able to do this and that without being made ashamed or guilty of it by her. So the boyfriends I picked or who picked me were always the ones who had ALL THIS. who had loving, caring, supporting parents, who were not divorced, who would do anything for their children. I was not even allowed to laugh in front of my mother or else she would get mad because "I am making too much noise" This "jealousy" showed only when breaking up, it was always then when I got severly depressed because i KNEW, they could just go back or go on living in their life without toxicity, blame, guilt, without having to solve all this shit caused by your fucking MOTHER. And I was left with all that shit. That's when the jealousy hits in.

@raulmammadov850 3 года назад

This did help thank you

@emoreland 7 лет назад

My husband and I lived our adventurous lives together. We traveled together, tried different things together, experienced our passions together. Everything on earth is done better with my husband-and of course with the kids when they came into the picture. Our next hot tub, candle light and wine bath we take together, I'll let him know that. :)

@marcellusrobinson1465 2 года назад

You just sound like a damn show off. The video is literally about people feeling bad about not being the first to do those things with their partners.

@retroactivejealousy-worldl1805 5 лет назад

This is something I specialize in treating.

@buttercup645 5 лет назад

Aw I want to see your London I’m in tears😰😰

@abishaberlin1210 3 года назад

Its beautiful😭♥️

@nickylove4166 8 лет назад

Awesome video

@raygacy 2 года назад

Love this! 😉👍

@cycadltd7317 6 лет назад

Thank you 🙏

@kayand736 4 года назад

Thought i was the only person who thought this kind of stuff

@lilile3942 4 года назад

The feeling is very unbearable when you think about it! Whenever your thought drift to your significant other’s past, try to think of sth else, sth positive!

@LaurenOrion 8 лет назад

Matthew rocks the Henley shirts

@Hana.ahmadx 8 лет назад

I love your videos

@SR-yt7un 6 лет назад

thank you..

@californiagirl1479 2 года назад

I just realized something and it REALLY helped. I am his girlfriend NOW. His ex is in the past. The past is gone. She is not relevant anymore. Now, if I turn that around, and imagine, she was his girlfriend NOW and I’d be his ex..how bad would THAT feel? So what’s there to stress about? I am exactly where I wanna be, by his side. She isn’t. So there is absolutely no need for me to be jealous because she doesn’t have anything that I could want :)

@Alixir1228 2 месяца назад

She may be relevant in his MIND still though.

@awesomeme7778 8 лет назад

what if he already went to paris with his ex gf n created so many memories together.. n now he wants to bring me there..if we went there together,he might suddenly miss his ex coz he has already been there..great advice but,this is just painful 😢

@vanessap2814 8 лет назад

No matter how thousand times they went there , the two of you might create a very special moment and that you must looking forward to a magic of love that you will be creating. There's no so much best moment when two people are in love and sharing their excitements with simple things they do.Maybe he wants to create a new good moments with you, and to cover up those old memories. Do not focus on the past, focus on the present. Challenge yourself and do something above his expectations that both of you makes both feel excited and create a nothing to compare moments. Cheers! enjoy your moments in Paris !!!

@stellashines8361 8 лет назад

Doesn't matter at all. I truly agree you can make new memories with any person, and it will always be special and dear like the person that is accompanying us. It's a total different thing if it's your partner, you brother, your mother. It's always new!

@stellashines8361 8 лет назад

+Stellashines83 and trust me, I'm a flight attendant 😉

@user-xr7bi7qt1k Год назад

Love you Matthew❤️❤️

@orilee205 3 года назад

Thank you for the advice Matthew. I admire his wonderful adventures before me. But I am jealous of his previous love stories..... girls stuff. I was so so jealous just now. I now have to do a bit meditation to calm down myself. Lol.

@marijadjordjevic6905 5 лет назад

Thank you

@Sunlitpickle 8 лет назад

I'm always looking forward that they have done it and they will know whats great about it and what is not so fun to avoid. If they don't want to do it again because they already have, then no reason you can't do it by yourself, and if they really are that stubborn to not go and not share that happiness with you are they really in this relationship because of you two or themselves?

@paula96love 8 лет назад

Genius video genius genius geniussssssss

@drexdalumpines4204 3 года назад

I’m crying. 😭

@PoojaTare08730 7 лет назад

yea this is hurting me a lot that my partner had a great life bfr me ...that too wid his ex ....

@donnapitcock8884 2 года назад

I struggle with this too. He's older and has did more with his ex

@aletheiabirch374 8 лет назад

Hey Matthew! I know this is way different from what you usually talk about, but could you address the issue of people being love addicts or love avoidants? I've been doing a lot of research because I'm a love avoidant. I would love to hear your take on it.

@suprabrajbhandari548 5 лет назад

Even guys feel this too 😣😣😣

@sweetlullaby5156 4 года назад

awww I'm gonna cry

@miriamarita7701 2 года назад

My boyfriend is 7 years older than me so of course he has experienced more things in life, but I just can’t be okay with the fact that he has a past, specially because his ex is still in love with him. I just want to be calm and happy with him, I know she is not in his mind anymore, I just don’t understand why she is in mine, I wish I was okay with it. I hate that feeling and if you can relate, I’m so sorry.

@marcellusrobinson1465 2 года назад

Please my beautiful sister. With a humble and open heart research Zach Stockill retroactive Jealousy on RU-vid. You are not alone and you can overcome this

@lidiaelenes2184 4 года назад

Beautifil thanks

@Amy_Stanmore 8 лет назад

I also thought to start doing and experiencing your own experiences with them. Learn new things. Maybe they will be even better. Haha

@charlottedavies5461 Год назад

Thanks so much for this i am struggling so much with this and i just wanna let go and be happy with my boyfriend but the ex is always on my mind because ive fell in love before n they went back to the ex so im terrified now😢i dont want to destroy something special

@unknowngirl3892 4 года назад

I'm here because I'm looking for some good words to hear to stop this anxiety. I'm so jealous and insecure about my husband's ex gf. T____T I know Im married with him and this kind of feeling should never be a thing anymore simply because I.AM.MARRIED. But I really can't help myself thinking of so many things about them. :( I really wanted to stop this feeling :( :( :(

@santiagobarrett7417 2 года назад

Im the only dude who feel like this?

@marcellusrobinson1465 2 года назад

No you are not Please message me

@Coffeetime1991 2 года назад

My bf’s ex is 10 years older than him or more with kids. She was very open about their relationship, to the point where everything they did was on Facebook and people were cheering her on and having conversations about my bf. My bf struggled with addiction during this time while with her and she put that on her Facebook even very weird details about what he was doing. She also posted all of the pictures of them making out and where she was on top of him really sexual… it’s like she was only with him to show off a younger man. My bf is extremely good looking but very mentally ill. (PTSD, war veteran). I brought up the fact she had very recent pics of them on the Facebook he had. He said he didn’t have access to it and made a new one. It is the first profile that showed up when you look him up and it made me rage with anger. I can’t stop thinking about this weird woman and what she has online with my bf…

@olaoluwaVP 8 лет назад

what your doing is really great. love the advise. I also find myself in a position of being the jealous one cos I'm the least travelled of the 2 of us. your advice has helped alot. but what of how not to get jealous of ur partners ex relationships? how do I go about that?

@lauraheidorn4767 8 лет назад

+Olaoluwa Bolaji: Those girls are in the past. You are in their present, You are the one they are with now. those girls weren't meant to be if your with him. I hear my fiancee talk about this one girl his first and saying how they loved each other and their parents broke them up and he was sad. I said yeah but I'm here now and you need to move on from her. He said I have. I said ok why are you still talking about her. But if she is in the past and I am in his future then I am the one he's going to be with not the ex. He has told me that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him so if that's the case then those other girls don't matter. So my point is that you have to look at what he says to you too. If he makes you feel like your the one for him and says things to tell you that in so many words then those other girls he previously dated are in the past and are staying there and mean nothing. You have to realize like cockeredneutron said their past has helped define them as a person. They made mistakes along the way and learned from them and hopefully became a better person because of those mistakes. Every guy I was with in my past was a learning experience for me. It helped me grow as a person and even my divorce I wouldn't take back for anything. It was a learning experience. I became a stronger person because of it. If he is talking to other girls besides you that's a whole other issue. But your talking about in his PAST. I am friends with one of my exes only on facebook simply because the bible preaches about forgiveness and I believe in it wholeheartedly. No matter what they did to you forgive them. Let it go. He can be friends with an ex and that's ok. If he is more than friends then it becomes an issue. Ask if you could meet her and say hi to her. It would probably make you feel more relaxed knowing their friends with their ex if you got to meet them.

@mindfulmatters3856 2 года назад

He went to an adventurous trip to Himalayas with his ex. They travelled a lot. But we never went on a trip. Not even once. Because I got pregnant right after one month of our marriage. Then I was busy looking after the child. His mother is a stupid woman. She often tells me his ex was better than me. I don't know what her problem is. One day I cried and told her that stop comparing me with her. My husband also mentions his ex from time to time. I don't like it. But since I am curious, I ask more questions about their relationship. And I end up being more hurt.

@teresaz8197 2 года назад

what if they did it with the one they loved before (aka ex) and now doing it with me again

@operationada 4 года назад

what about when he's friends with his ex's or friends with people he's slept with? that shit is not okay with me.

@marcellusrobinson1465 2 года назад

I seriously thought I was the only one. I mean damn I thought I was going crazy because she kept gaslighting me about it.

@makeitcount2985 4 года назад

It's not his past if he still talks to his ex constantly, does maintenance at her one home and spends time at her other home (3 weeks). The rest of the time he talks about her constantly. It was too much for me to cope with I admit it.

@somasoma5370 3 года назад

Brother Matthew may we have educational guidelines from you?

@GingerLeigh-hd1qx 11 месяцев назад

What if you’re not jealous as much as disgusted??.. especially if you specifically asked for the truth in the beginning and they lied??..

@Jesuslovesyou0316 2 года назад

Godbless 💓

@jennifermejia6485 6 лет назад

I look what your girlfriend said to you. I have the insecurities of how "what if the previous partner made him feel better or if he misses the previous partner kaz I found he still has pictures of himself with previous partners. and I wonder whyyyyyyy???"

@DineshGupta-hl7lg 7 лет назад

all sweet words and lines but the reality is A. sex is very diff. B. making words is easiest thing. c.are u with her?? coz this wil tell a lot abt motives and reality. when u are casually dating someone u dont feel bad abt their past. i live in india where traditionally people wait till marriage. I waited till 29 yrs. but when i think abt my wifes past it just kills me from inside.

@marcellusrobinson1465 2 года назад

I hope I am not too late. I know just how you feel the obsessive thoughts about her past, the constant mental movies and graphic images . There is hope and a way to beat it.Research Zach Stockill retroactive Jealousy you are not alone my friend.

@hairgelato4307 5 месяцев назад

His ex still stalks us and she copies me 😂

@beneficacandido4148 Год назад

im going through this with my bf....... he jealous about my past......i honestly dont know to help him see that its the past.

@beesmooth6060 3 года назад

Guys, I'm the only men here feeling this And I have an answer to end this The only solution I got was videos from Grace for purpose Know that It's completely normal Every pain has a lesson Embrace that pain don't try to kick it out Reflect on yourself Know that things happen for a reason And its a part of relationships After all we are all exe's we are all x man

@cemcan6059 10 месяцев назад

thanks mate i needed this, all we can do is to accept their past and move on. If she smiles when she's next to you, if she hugs you real tight and loves you then her past doesn't matter that much cause know she has you and this is real.

@lcw9127 7 месяцев назад

I feel the same. For the past 1 year since married I'm still struggling with me wive's past. She love and date another man for 15 years. And then the man betrayed her and married another woman. She did not tell this all before our marriage bcz she love me and want me. Later after marriage I got to know all this...and I broke till today. She cried and explain everything to me. She tell me that the amount of love and respect that she had on me his more stronger and pure than her past lover. But my mind till thinking about the sexual part. Bcz I did not date and sleep with any woman before bcz of my inferiority. I keep on kill her with my words and crate hell to her. Pls advise me. Thanks

@tonia6953 2 года назад

I just know he cant love me like I do cuz he's the only guy I actually fell in love with

@flamintaty8050 10 месяцев назад

My bf was married before and is divorced now so I’m super jealous bc Ik I will never be the first woman to experience that

@yowanehakuuu 11 месяцев назад

He is my first boyfriend and we are engaged but he his past relationship was 3yr long and it’s just so depressing that he said she was his first love and he still have soft spot for her even after she cheated on him. I met him 1 year after they broke up. I didn’t want him in the beginning with thinking he isn’t over but he did really show me so gentle very good sides of himself. He is a great fit for a husband tbh , we are happy too. But she is trying to get in contact with him now , he loved her so much he couldn’t even confront her when she was cheating. Now she says he broke up with him and it’s not fair that now im in his life. My boyfriend being soft to this approach made me feel ugly and very immature. Because I can’t , I can’t stop thinking. We will get married soon but it feels like he is going to age with me while he is going to die while she is in his mind.