How To Heal a Broken Friendship  

To be honest, I'd be more devastated at breaking off a long term friendship than a romantic relationship.

Nothing hurts more than a friendship breakup 😢

I’m on the fence about healing the friendships that I’ve lost because I worry that they don’t genuinely want the best for me but I do miss them.

It's okay to declare a relationship dead when the same problematic behavior continues without resolution/change. It's okay to put yourself first and not "need" the approval of family members when they are not equally invested in you. It took me years to understand this and walk the walk. Forgive them for your own peace of mind, even if they don't deserve forgiveness. Don't strap the corpse to your back. You deserve more than crumbs.

This and the "How To Heal From a Friendship Breakup" vids have oddly come at the perfect time. But I'm going to be doing the breaking up form a friendship where they're constantly negative and I've raised my issues and concerns with them multiple times. Thank you for all that you do Jon and Alicia. It means the world to us ❤

My 10-year friendship fell apart cause I thought she did me wrong in many ways, and when she called me out for ghosting her, she blamed me for some things as well. I felt misunderstood, though I know that she probably felt the same. We tried to patch it all up, met up in person, and talked it out. I apologized but mostly cause I thought this was what she wanted to hear from me. I felt ashamed by admitting that I was wrong. What I did seemed like groveling to me. She never said sorry to me, and I guess this is the part you talked about - expecting the other person to own up to their mistakes and not just taking responsibility for your own actions... But I was hurting and wanted closure as well. I tried to keep in touch, I really did. Yet, she only responded with short sentences or a word, or an emoji, and only in instances when I initiated contact. I don't know. Maybe she was trying to be cautious and give me space, but it just frustrated me, so I stopped texting her again. Then after a few weeks, she wrote a speech to me. Result? Exactly the same as before. The last time for now when she tried "reaching out" was on Easter. What she wrote to me made me laugh out loud cause she sounded so righteous and talked about making amends on a Christian holiday. I mean, okay. I was polite, responded to her as if we had texted just yesterday, and she left me on read. It felt so anti-climatic, but it made me mad, sad, and resigned. We went on a trip last year to celebrate our 10th anniversary. I don't know why, but I just felt that this would be the point of no return this time. We had a few huge fights before, even not talked to each other for a year. Though, at that time, it was still fixable cause we were in high school and spent a lot of time together, willingly or not. Now, even before all of this, not so much. Different universities, and later on me having found a job. Sorry for ranting, Jonathan. I just needed to get it off my chest and felt encouraged by other people doing the same in the comments. I wish you a nice day and a healthy, long life!

Losing a friend sucks; I lost one friend who, despite me trying to reach out to him, blocked me; I didn't do anything to him. He just came back to NYC from Mexico and got too good for me; Josh, I hope you're doing well and that your friends treat you better than you've treated me. I even remember asking if I did anything to upset you, and you sed I was a good friend to you-best of luck.

My difficulty with the broken friendship that comes to mind is that it was a death-by-a-thousand-cuts, not a bang but a whimper, breaking; and a lot of the cuts came from my rejected attempts to try a lot of the things described above. Specifically, whenever I felt things getting tense I would try to take ownership of what was my fault and their response was to take advantage of that. It felt like their response was "yes that 50% was your fault, and I only did my 50% because of your 50%, so really it's 100% your fault". The friendship finally broke for me when I didn't trust them with communication anymore; their (understandable given their history) sense of self-preservation always dominated any vulnerability. And now they live hours away, we've barely spoken in years, and I'm not sure I have the bandwidth to strike up a let's-open-up-this-can-of-worms message out of the blue.

I realized that we had never truly been friends; maybe acquaintances. Moved on. Still cordial but with the new reality that it is superficial at best.

I just want to share my experience on this because I'm hoping it might helpful to others. I have this best friend I've had for 18 years now. We met in person and lived in the same state for the majority of our friendship. Now he lives in a different state. For the majority of our friendship, we were so close, good, steady friends. When he and I had a disagreement in our friendship, we tackled the conflict like pros. There were rare times we would have a heated argument. We then would not talk for a few days, and in that time we would pray about it. Then we would come back together, admit where we were wrong, and discuss how we would change things in the future. We did not get in heated arguments a lot. I could maybe only count on one hand the amount of times that happened. Sure, there were times when we might bicker or just have playful banter But those were small potatoes. Then, a few years ago, some things happened between us, where he did and said some hurtful things, and a huge argument eventually broke out. I am not typically one to hold a grudge, but with him I did for several months. Every time I talked with him, I would act like everything was fine, but I was angry with him. There were a lot of things that went wrong here: 1) For one thing, I had a hard time forgiving him for what he did because I failed to recognize my responsibility in the matter. I was placing 100% of the blame on him. I had heard a speaker on relationships say, "if you are responsible for only 5%, then own that." When I heard that, I really thought about this situation, and I realized the wrong that I had done. For instance, in this whole mess, I was angry with him that he did not disclose certain, large pieces of information that best friends usually tell each other. But, in all fairness, the reason he didn't tell me is because he knew I would react the way I did. I am partially responsible because I did not give him a safe space in our relationship for him to share such information. I made it difficult for him to feel safe sharing such information, and that's on me. The sad thing is, it took me over a year to realize it. Eventually, I did apologize to him. In fact, it wasn't the way I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it in person because he is worthy of that, especially considering I was putting on the blame on him when it wasn't 100% his fault. But, because of distance, I had to do it though a video or I could be waiting I don't know how long. I didn't want to do it over the phone or chat because I wanted him to see my face. I wanted him to see that I was being sincere. I wanted to hide nothing from him. He is worth so much more than an apology through a video message, but, at the time, that's the best I could do. One day, when we can see each other face to face, I will give him the apology he deserves. 2) The other thing is that I failed to express right away how I felt about the matter right away. Right after what happened, happened, and I yelled at him, then I acted like everything was fine, when inside, I was still angry with him. I should not have held back. Actually, more accurately, I'm not saying I should have yelled at him until his ears bled. I mean, I should have been 100% upfront with him at the start, laying everything out on the table. But I didn't. I feel like that lack of communication cost us in the long run. Our friendship, sadly, is not what it used to be. Yes, we talk, but our conversations are far and few between. We are not as close as we used to be. 3) But, mostly what went wrong was the communication. Not only the lack of communication, but also how things were communicated. And the sad thing is, there was too much time between the incident and the apology. There was too much time between the incident and finally fully addressing the issue - and even when I fully addressed the issue, there was no tact in it at all. We were both wrong. If I could go back and do it differently, I would have addressed him in a more tactful way instead of yelling at him. I would have taken it to prayer and asked God how to address this issue with him instead of hanging on my emotions. I would have taken the time to cool off so that I wouldn't go off on him. I would have tried to take the time to understand his perspective instead of thinking the worst. I would have maybe given him the benefit of the doubt. Today, things are better between us, but they could be even better. This whole situation, though I've forgiven him, and I believe he's forgiven me, I now feel this tension like, I'm afraid to discuss any issue in the future that might make him upset. I feel like I don't want to make things worse than they have been. But, maybe that in itself is the issue - not addressing an issue itself becomes an issue. Now, it's like that pattern in the past where we would always deal with conflict in a healthy way is long gone. But, I'm hoping it doesn't have to be. I'm hoping we can get that back. I feel like I have to re-learn how to healthily address conflict in our relationship. Right now, we can't fully address our issues. Just, life circumstances aren't allowing for that. Also, considering the distance (he lives in a different state), I think these issues would be better addressed face to face. Where we can see each other's facial expressions, body language, catch the tone we're using, and detect one another's sincerity. Maybe words can lie, but actions, facial expressions, and body language cannot. I believe eventually, we will see each other in person. It's just not feasible right now. If you are in a friendship right now where something the other person did or said was hurtful, or maybe what you said or did was hurtful, and you still care about this friendship, please, don't be like me. Only allow as much time as you need to cool off, gain composure. Find the right mindset. Then communicate tactfully and clearly. Own your part. Apologize for whatever you did wrong. Throw your pride to the way side. Pride will get in the way of a thriving, healthy relationship. Jonathan's tips can help to possibly restore a broken relationship if both parties are still willing to fix them. But, please don't be like me and make things worse than they need to be.

This just gave me the courage ti talk to my bestfriend I fought with and ignored for a few days. I just got my second half back, THANK YOU MENDED LIGHT

I managed to save my frienships that I ghosted for half a year. I saved it by being honest and talking straight from the heart. And i was forunate that they too wanted to rekindle the relationship once again.

I am going through this right now and I finally got to speak to her and get out what Ive been wanting to say since our blowup. I'm so glad I did it cuz everything I said was exactly how you said it needs to be said. Her response was simply she needed time to heal and now I can be at peace with it cuz not being able to speak was the hardest thing to do. But thank you cuz now I'm assured I did the right thing. Thank you

Me and my friend are slowly falling apart since last month and I am really desperate because we are friends since kindergarden and we made so much good memories together. seeing him being more comfortable around other people broke me. Thanks for this video

ALAN !! RETURN THE DVD!!

i took your advice and sent her a message. i addmitted that i could have handled the situation better and let her know i have no negative feelings for her and i'll still be her. she responded with "f you". it hurt but it feels good to let it all go

Man, the amount of times that there’s been a simple misunderstanding between a friend and I that wasn’t meant to cause worry or upset but it did and because I’m not the one who was affected as much I decide to be the one to apologize (not because I’m guilty of something but because I want to make it known that I didn’t mean for it to come across the way it did or the outcome to be as it was) and everyone I consult with before hand tells me it’s a stupid idea and that other friend is the one who’s wrong or being dramatic or whatever it is. I decide to apologize anyways and the person is immediately like ‘oh my god thank you! You have no idea how bad I felt about this and I was too afraid to be the one to talk to you because I thought you’d hate me or get upset.’ Made me think at some point ‘maybe this is why my friends are always fighting with people or losing friends or getting into drama…’ you can just clarify a situation even if there was no fault. Apologizing to a friend even if you didn’t do anything isn’t a bad thing. It’s okay to say things like ‘I’m sorry the way I did that was upsetting to you and I’ll do my best to avoid that behaviour in the future’ or ‘I’m not upset and I would like you to know that what happened wasn’t a personal attack and I didn’t mean for it feel like one. I would like to move past it.’ It can be tricky when it ends up sounding like ‘I’m sorry you think I hurt you’ or whatever but if it’s truly a good friendship and a small matter or accident then it should be easier to find words that don’t sound like blame. Depends on the people involved though.

I know some comments have already said it but sometimes it's meant to be if the friendship has died. Sometimes it's good to let it rest and remember the good times and learn from the bad ones. I was very close to one of my friend and she ended in a rough part of life. Her behavior turned very toxic, she didn't respect the boundaries of others and threatened to kill herself if others didn't to as she said. We had an intervention with other common friends and we stated calmly that her behavior was hurting us and we were worried of her mental health through all of this but we all promised to help her to right kind of mental health services and such. She walked out and shouted that we were all against her. Next few days she kept sending all sorts of selfdestructive messages to us 24/7 and we messaged each other what should we do about this because she didn't stop this after multiple requests. We had to sadly block her because our boundaries were not respected in the slightest. She didn't kill herself but shouted to everyone loud and clear how her best friends wanted her dead and tried to get us cancelled online. We got a lot of harrasment but we managed to get through. Years later I got a message from her that she wanted me back in her life but she allowed it only if I would apologize. I said that I'm all good and maybe a look in a mirror could help. I miss our good times but they aren't worth the crap that she caused.

I had a friend who repeatedly ghosted me. For years, he had good phases and bad phases within his marriage and whenever he had a good phase, he ignored me and whenever he had a bad phase, he connected with me again (I suppose I was his "therapist friend" he felt safe with). I told him that I can't continue to do this, that I need consistency and he apologized profusely, telling me he wants me in his life and that he will do better... and then continued to ignore me again. So yeah, I tried but it didn't work out. But I am glad that I tried. Maybe he will grow as a person one day, and if he does, I will be happy to reconnect with him.

I miss my friend so much, I see him as my brother... I just fcked up cuz I was stupid and broken and I didn't realize that I was actually hurting a lot of people and my friend saw that and now he hates me... Sometimes I wish I could turn back time to keep my brother/friendship...

It’s a part of me that feels I will be setting myself back if I try to restore the friendship, a part of me wants it restored but the other parts knows it’s gone and by me trying I’ll get my feelings hurt because of it

I've a best friend, we're not talking anymore. We're friends for a long time, had troubles before, we were immature, and try to talk openly about how we feel nowadays to prevent this from happening. It happens that, this time, she got really sad because I've ask her a favor she tought it was invasive to ask, and told me that. But i don't consider asking help to a friend when you need (mainly when I asked like "I know it’s not simple, but i need to find someone to help, so I’m asking everyone, but I'll understand if you can't, ok?") (It was to take care of a cat for a few days) is "irresponsable" and "invasive" as she said. I still love her, would love if we could talk again, but I realize I'm tired for taking accountability for EVERYTHING. Just now I’ve realized that, in our last years of friendship, every problem we had we resolved with her blaming on me and I apologising, for real, feeling horrible. Even when looking back, I've done nothing wrong but in her perspective. I don't think she does it on purpose, maybe she don't realyze, but it is certanly not healthy for me, but I don't know how to say "You should take acountability this time, you've been throwing frustrations on me I've not fault in, and that hurts a lot." I don't even want to, I've been the one to do all the work all this time, I'm tired, I want her to work for us too, but she won't sees it since she's waiting for me to apologise again, so... idk, i'm just frustrated about it

You're answering questions I never knew I had

I am suffering with heartbreak at this time with hurting a friend of over 25 years. Praying we can fix this.

I recently broke off a 22 year friendship that's been somewhat on the slide for a while. I did it because during an argument over text (about the situation in Ukraine, which both of us are essentially in agreement about), because of some of the things he said about me. Because it was very clear that these things were something that he's thought about me for a long time but just haven't said. So, I just unfriended him from all social media and broke off all contact with him. Sometimes friendships end and for a good reason.

I was just contacted by an old friend and I really am a shitty friend. Nothing bad ever happened, we just kind of drifted apart and haven't talked in years, and as much as I have always wanted to be the kind of a person who can pick up with a person where we left off, I'm not and I can't. No matter how close we once were, time makes a stranger out of anyone to me and I don't know how to talk to strangers. And so it was just super awkward bc I just didn't have anything to say to him anymore and I felt awful. And I know he must have too.

This channel means so much to me. it has gotten me through some hard times. like.. Sheeeeeeessshhhh

My 10-year friendship fell apart cause I thought she did me wrong in many ways because she was addicted to alcohol at the time; I feel like I had to cut my ties with her in order for her to get better. It's been years, she seems clean and happier now but I'm scared of what she'll say if I reach out to her.

The reason why I watched this video is because I have a friend who we grew up together he is a few months younger than me we became friends because we are neighbors and both of our dad's work here so we have a house here me and him that is the first reason i dobt wanna break friendship with him and the second reason is a friend from school today we broke friendship but i think we might be friends because i will amke him worried at school thanks you have a warm heart keep up with the great work

Thank you so much for your advice! And I mean not just in this particular video but in many others too! It really helps a lot. Thank you!

Very helpful indeed. Thank you for sharing all your knowledge with us. 🙏🏻

Thank you for this video, it came just today when i had a fight with a friend. I was the one in the wrong. I really want to work on it, and it makes me think if i do even deserve that, if i do even deserve her apologies.

I don’t know how this got through the feed but I truly needed it 😢

this was insanely helpful

I actually did talk about my feelings to my friend ( I was acting badly to her) and I told her that I’m not feeling fine because of some of her behaviors in the past but in the end she said that she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore and we ended up wishing good things for one another but to be honest i really didn’t want it to end at the first place and I can’t get over her and our memories 😢

Jesus, I never knew I needed this man

Thank you so much for this video. I’m having a hard time how to approach my friend and I’ve learned a lot for this video. Godbless you and continue doing this kind of video 😇

I appreciate your mended light war cry.

Wow,this just described my friend and I atm.

Literally what I needed

what im trying to save my friendship? seeing vids on how to save a friendship, don't know if its going to work but i feel better thanks to u

Honestly this works, my best friend and I got into an argument and after some ups and downs and a really hurtful statement, we parted ways in life. We were both jerks, and we where both stressed out from a horrible situation as she lived with me at my dads place because her dad threw her out, and then my dad basically did the same thing out of the blue. Her dad was and continue to be an asshole, where as my dad handled a life choice poorly which he did apologize for later on. (im still mad at him for this tho) I reached out to her 5-6 years later telling her that i missed her in my life and i was sorry for the things said and done at the time, i wished that i had been more grown up and taken care of her instead of just me. I did not go into detail as i honestly didn't remember what i did or what triggered the whole situation, and she did not mention it either. She wrote me that she had been thinking about me a lot and where gathering courage to write me, and she didn't care about what happened she just wanted us to be friends again, we agreed that we where two stupid teenagers in a really bad situation and now we could be at peace knowing we where friends again. And honestly, nothing has changed between us! Sometimes we forget that the other person wasent at a event during those 5 years and we laugh about it. I missed her mothers funeral by mere months, and i regret not being there when she needed a friend, and not meeting her mom. But i was at her wedding, i was one of the first to see her twins when they where born, and im on the side watching my best friends children grow and its amazing

bro has a perfect way with words

Hi! I’ve been struggling with one of my friends that I’ve been with since last year. And we used to have a lot of fun chatting with each other and playing video games, that earlier this year in March things started to go downhill and we would chat with other friends of ours and they got into a conversation that I really didn’t know about and starting causing some unnecessary drama. So then a couple months went by and I finally apologized to them including my main friend and then I started to get over dramatic again. And since then has started to disappear off of social media and off of the video games we used to play then in July I had to block them. I’ve wanted to apologize to them again and we have each other space and since last month I’ve been hoping and praying that our friendship will finally get back together again soon. I’ve just been too afraid to say anything because either I’m afraid to apologize again and second sometimes something comes up and we get distracted. But I’ve been to our amazing Father God in Heaven to heal our broken friendship for good! And I believe that the time is coming! And this video really helped me out a little, and I’m still praying for great results soon! 😉💙

I wish I could have seen this way sooner

My closest friend sent me a long ass paragraph and in that she told me that nobody in the friend group likes me and that i should find other friend instead of hanging out with them

Thank you so much Alan I have been struggling with this for a while me and my friend have been friends for a long time but I have not talked to her for 3 years because she had gone through a crisis with suicide when she was 11 for a year until she moved away it was a really stressful time for me everyday to make sure my friend felt loved and wanted but after all of the things we went through we never got the chance to really talk about how we both felt but whenever I think about contacting her now I start to have a breakdown maybe it isn't my time though I know I need to at least talk to her or I'm going to regret it later.

Feb. 2020-Beginning of COVID. Various places closed and people staying away from each other so I didn't go out much. But my friend lost her daughter, and I could not be there for her. I regret that so much. Too often I think back on those days. She went out of state to deal with everything and I texted and called that I would be here when she got back. But she never responded. I knew when she returned but I did not go to her house to see her because in my head I thought she was giving herself time to grieve. I wanted to respect her space. But if I could turn back time, I would make myself go and give her a big hug. Because now we're June 2022 and I've only seen her once since then. She talked about work, of her boyfriend moving in with her soon after the funeral, of her other kids. Her daughter was brought up once. And I tell myself maybe I should have said more. Apologize. I miss us. I would love to fix the friendship but I know it won't be the same. In big part because I wasn't there when she needed me. And I wonder if I should go and apologize for that but afraid it will come out wrong and that it truly will be the end. This video, I felt it. I wonder if I can mend a friendship and if she even wants it. I still don't know what the right thing is, or how to approach it. But thank you, your video has given me a lot to reflect on.

What about a "door slam" ? That was my response to an extremely stressful situation with friends. I shut off and shut down, became extremely cynical and angry and shut them out almost completely. It was a defining moment in my life because it felt like I was taking charge of myself for the first time, refusing to be pushed around. I'm a Christian and being angry is such a complicated emotion. In some ways, I know I should be sorry for it and own that side of things, in another way, it feels like it gave me control. Hence, I've also been struggling with my faith, not wanting to leave it, but knowing I have to take a hard, deep honest evaluation of it and understand why I believe what I do... I felt extremely taken advantage of, and forced to carry so much that wasn't fair to me. I was still a teenager and just a kid in so many ways. I know that now and it's been a couple years since the breakup. Thing was that they snapped back to 'everythings all good now, nothings the matter, what's your issue?' and I couldn't. I said I could, said I'd be fine eventually but it festered. To this day, I'm not wanting to confront, or even talk to them about it because it stressed me out and caused me, I'd say maybe some acute trauma, plus having a home life at the same time that was unstable. Eek. But what about when you shut down from stress. I mean, healthy friendships shouldn't make you do that, should they? I had to weigh in the costs and I realized if they were making my life harder than it needed to be, I was better off going my own way, which is what I did. But it hurt and it would be nice, even a couple years latter to have some closure.

Their is this one friend I use to have. He was fun to have around. He made mistakes without realizing it was hurting me. My mistake was telling him I want to move on instead of explaining it. Now I really miss him and want to reach out seeing if he would want to reconcile and patch up the past to have a stronger brotherhood. But my fear is that'll say no. He reached out last year seeing if we can be friends. But he unsent the message. I have no idea what that means. I don't know if he changed his mind or if he's feeling the same way of fearing I'll say no. Imagine he's waiting for me to reach out. But I want to know for sure. I fear a lot he'll say no

I’m in a situation where I dated my best friend for a while and it got a little nasty. We’ve both since apologized but are too awkward and nervous to rekindle a friendship even though we both have said we want it. I found this video really helped me and I hope that they feel the same way.

I have a friend that used to be close, but now is ghosting me. I reach out, but no respons. I have even tried asking if I have done anything wrong and said that I wished we could talk about it so that I might be able to make it right. I really don't know what happend. After a while I started feeling like a stalker so I gave up. I hurts though, we have gine through a lot together.

Before watching this I had a fallout with a friend. In the beginning we didn’t get off too well but eventually we were friends and trusted each other and told each other everything. I had another friend that started out the same way, they used to be friends but they got into many fights. 4 years later, me balancing being friends with both of them, one friend reached out to the other to catch up. The conversation quickly got about me and how much I told the other. The second friend brought up how I tell them everything and the first friend and the first friend kept their cool. The next day I ask how it went and everything went wrong, so many things brought up I forgot I said, like names and personal life details. Me and the first friend quickly got into an argument. after it was over I was so mad at the second friend for telling the first friend the things I said 2 years ago but before I said anything, I realized that I was feeling the same way as the first friend. I never thought about how the past and the lies could end the biggest thing to me. I’m glad I had this video to give me some future advice. This is a friendship I never want to let go of.🕸️

My best friend of 15 years just told me that he feels like he doesn't care about our friendship anymore. So he broke it off. I'm devastated and shocked. We were fine and normal just a few days before. We don't argue, we love each other so much, we're family at this point. We tell each other that we love each other everyday.... So, I don't know why he did this. This is a real brotherhood, a real relationship in my life that I just want back so badly. We spoke daily, literally, and now suddenly we're no longer friends? I just keep asking myself "how can I fix this, how can I get him back?" I'll do anything... Any advice?

I say "I love you" To a female friend of mine that i think I like and we become distant now I want to heal it

Dude. My friend has been so flakey lately, which is why I came to watch this video. I started seeing her way less after she started dating this guy in 2018. He has 2 high school-aged kids, so I wanted to be empathetic, but now that they are married and moved 40 min up north, I really never see her. She is not good at replying to my text messages when I ask for her availability and has canceled plans last minute. Earlier this year, she said she wasn't available Fridays or Saturdays, so we made plans for a Sunday with a mutual friend. Then she said she was no longer available Sundays, so canceled on us. Then a week later, said she was available on Sundays again and made plans with a different friend on the day we were supposed to hang out. Publically where I could see. My non-flakey friend and I still got together and a big part of our conversation that day was how hurt we were by our flakey friend. I want to believe that she just forgot in the span of a week, but wow. And last week she had the nerve to say how busy I am when I told her I didn't have a free weekend until 3-4 weeks out. I literally had covid at the time and had to cancel a party with friends, including her, so 2 weeks were dedicated exclusively to recovery and isolation. I feel a little gaslit by her, honestly. Then I tried solidifying plans yet again and asked her if weekdays or weekends work better so we could pick a date...and she ghosted me again. Should I give up? Do I need to have a frank conversation with her? I definitely feel like she's the bigger problem here, but I have also been less available at times over the years and don't want to judge her too harshly. I'm almost at the point where I want to let the friendship die, but she's part of my primary friend group and I know she will also hold a bit of a grudge. She has actively left our group chat in the past - one time because none of us wanted to go to her outdoor climbing/camping birthday trip...none of us did outdoor rock climbing and I literally couldn't afford to board my dog and had no camping equipment at the time. Ironically, she joined Landmark and thought it completely changed her...then she got mad at me for not being interested in attending. Actually said I would have to explain to her why I said no. Should I throw out the whole friend?

i like it different approach

Me and my friend broke up because of my negativity and 😢 I had told him that’ he will never hear from me ever again and I want bother him again

I've been increasingly codependent because of anxiety/paranoia and said some pretty nasty things for a week and ended up being unfollowed by my best friend in socials. I tried apologizing in my best way possible but got blocked instead. I took the apology to a mutual friend without hoping for forgiveness (they also only left me on read) before finally deactivating most of my socials too few days-weeks later. I'm definitely giving us some time because we're both at a low point and detaching since my best friend almost never admitted where they did wrong too (mostly me overexplaining, it's worse that I have ADHD)

I stopped talking to my brother-in-law and sister-in-law for about 2 years because of how they took advantage of me and my husband and I feel uncomfortable being around them. many people suggested not to focus on them when it comes to family gatherings, but their wrong actions still hurt haunting me these days and I want to free myself.

She was perfect,we were just unhined as eachother, dd the same things in our freetime, she started talking about suicide, leaving her family,saying prison was better than her home, i knew she was going through stuff but man this hurt me just hearing it, she blocked me on all socials, my friends too, i miss her so much its only been a few days, i just tried helping, all her friends were leaving her and i was one of her last, i miss her

We have been friends from almost 10 years and she said something behind my back i was so angry at her i speak rudely and bad to her and didn't spoke to her treated her badly but after sometime when my anger is gone im felling so guilty about it and im planing to say sorry to her i do miss her in my life in last year yeahh i hope it will turn out well

my best friend is saying stuff like “i knew this would happen eventually” and “everything good comes to an end” and im so upset. hes only saying this cause he dissed something of mine, so i dissed something of his. im trying desperately not to cry.

My ex bestie of 24 yrs. And I had a falling out Year and half ago. Let’s just say she started changing (not in a good way) when she went to school to get certified in her career. I noticed the friendship becoming one sided every time I told her how I felt in a nice way she would hang up on me and stonewall me. She moved to a city 4 hours from mine. One of her visits here we went out had some drinks she said some hurtful things. The next day I told her she claimed she didn’t remember saying that her “new friends were better than me .” She apologized felt bad for it yet wanted me to get over it right away. The following month I went out with some friends I had some drinks she had texted me I pretty much threw it in her face that I was still hurt for what she said. She blocked my number but kept me on social media platforms. About a month ago she started viewing my ig stories . She hasn’t reached out. I can’t believe she throw away so many years of friendship. I’ve been there for her. I have a feeling my number is unblocked. My question is why would she still have me on social media if she was so angry and had blocked my number??I still wonder if it’s best to unfriend her. I think she’s going through a tough time. But I came to the conclusion I was probably just her void filler until new people came along. At times I want to reach out yet I’m not sure it’s a good idea. She was like a sister to me it still hurts.

really makes me wonder how to mend multiple family members...one of my relatives did something very wrong, possibly illegal. but no charges were pressed, and instead, the entire family just turned on that one relative and it's been years since we've heard or seen from him. and it's my uncle. my dad's brother. and no one in my family is willing to reconnect with said uncle.

I have been feeling guilty for so long about it

i have or had a stubborn friend that i know about 5 years this july and we just had an argument 2 days ago. Both sides are in the wrong and i apologized yesterday because i dont have anyone to talk to and im so scared of losing her. I said some hurtful things and she did aswell so i wrote an apology message to her because we are online friends unable to meet up irl now and the only thing she responded with was "aha" and didnt respond further. I know i should give it some time and im praying but i dont know about her. We have a group where we said those things to each other and i kicked her in the heat of the argument and i regret it. I talked to my friend 2 in the group that day about the things she said and all she did was screenshot it to the friend 1 i had an argument with and today she started ghosting me aswell. I wrote the apology in the style that you said and im hoping it gets better because i dont have anyone to talk to now.

I've been trying to reconnect with my sister (who has been my best in life), but due to unhealthy bonding I knew going back into relationship with her I needed to have boundaries. She's refusing to engage with me now because she said I'm wanting everything on my terms. We only had one conversation, and I just didn't tell her everything going on in my life. But she thinks that I am not being fair. She wants everything to back exactly the same and I just can't do that.

I have someone whom I was a friend with for most 10 years and we never had a fight before, but then something happened, both sides were angry and I said something that hurt him and now we're not speaking at all. I thought that being angry at him would help me move on but I realized that I miss him a lot. We both were stupid and everything could've been solved by talking but I got overwhelmed by my own emotions and he was too stressed because of said emotions. I just wish things were like before. I plan to talk to him , after some time to cool off has passed

miss ko na sya🥺

Yup

I hand wrote an apology letter taking full responsibility, apologizing sincerely, and thanking them for their friendship over the years, with the understanding that it may never mend, I did emphasize how heavy it weighs on the heart to think this, but I thought it was important to respect that outcome. Then, now, and the future is only God’s plan.

I am a friend of a girl since 6th grade, years passed, and both enter to university, she started a relationship a year ago, one year later I met I believe is the love of my life, even we were young we wanted to get married at some point, i told her the illusion i had, and she said: Are you sure?" and i was like, obviously i am sure :'/. Little did I know she was kind of jealous, later on discovered the boyfriend she had was being bad with her.

I became friends with someone a little over a year ago. Over the last few months we have drifted apart noticeably to the point where she no longer asks me to hang out or rarely talks to me in person at work or over text message. I have tried twice to hang out this past month as well as catch up over the phone but she blows me off. The part that sucks is my wedding is coming up next month and she is supposed to be involved in it. Not quite sure how to deal with this. I can’t even talk to her about it if she won’t hang out or do phone calls.

My best friend of 10 years blocked me for trying to apologize and make amends.

6 months ago, a good friend of mine ended our friendship. It started with me reaching out to her asking if they wanted to go with me to a concert. She never got back to me. It was days. Then I heard that she got a job somewhere at a restaurant. I was concerned thinking maybe that's why she never got back to me. So I made a call to her work and it turned out she was still working there. It was another girl with the same name that was working at the restaurant. Afterwards she got back to me and said that our friendship has run its course and to never reach out to her again. I felt awful when she told me that. I felt like I made a mistake by calling her at her work but she never got back to me. Just left me hanging. She did that before but she explained on that one she was going through her depression. So 3 months later, I reached out to her via tedt telling her that I missed her and still thinking about her. She replied, "Who is this?" I haven't reached out since. Should I just give it time or just move on ? It's been bothering me since.

A year ago my long term best friend startet to treat me horrible. She was in a really dark place, but she startet to let it out on me. Everyday she would tell me about the things that i was doing wrong. Drawing was our joint hobby, but in that time she destroyed my selfestem so much, that i can't enjoy it anymore. Everything she said hurt. So I went cold turkey. I cut every connection to her and startet to become better. After two months she reached out to me, but i wasn't ready, so i didnt answer. I feel bad now, but now i'm afraid to reach out to her. For four years she was the closet Person in my life and know she knows how to hurt me like nobody else.

Hello, this is Patrick here - I started Mind Life Flow channel. I am a Clinical Psychologist in Australia - where are you based? I like your video and it will help many people struggling to fix a friendship Thanks

Me and my friend got into a big argument and we said some pretty nasty things

uh i had a guy best friend who was basically my everything. we didnt know each other for that long, like 2 years but i vented to him and he helped me out of the darkest part of my life. he knows the vulnerable me but since he left for college he has been so distant. i have told him so many times why are we being like this and he completely ducks it and pretends like everything is normal when its not. he even joked that im actuing like a toxic ex trying to get back. he wants to be the nice guy but he doesnt want to know me. but i miss us so much how do i move on.

I became a friend with someone who called me into their home,sent me an invite letter, said all the thing's we will do once we get together (long distance friendship) she told me we will have great time. Cook and learn language. She bought me a ticket and then today she called it off. She has asked for space because I have drained her emotionally. I told her I am negative given I lost my brother and other's will suffer, but she said she can handle it. Turns out she can't. She revoked her invite. She asks for space. Also, her fiance is pissed. No doubt because I took a lot out of her. Has gotten protective. I am placed on mute. What do you do in this situation? I truly care for her and love her. My life is just better with her in it. I wish I could tell her this. I wish I could tell her I want to meet her and I will do better. Guess I start by honoring her wishes. I already miss her so much it hurts. I can lose a romantic partner fine. A friend I just can't. I wish she and her husband knew how much I appreciate them for accepting me into their home. I wish it doesn't fall apart.

I was best friends with a girl. She one day started to like me more than just a friend and she even told me her feelings for me. I hopped on that train without thinking. I thought that it would work out between the two of us. But I was wrong. I was so insecure about everything that I mistreated her so horribly that we haven't spoken in 3 years. I want to make a mense. I want to say sorry. I want her in my life back. I don't need her to be my Girlfriend. I just want my best friend back.

Can you answer the question about Angelina?

I have been trying to work though the grief of the loss of my two best friends (huge miscommunication, we all hurt eachother) for over two years, it still hurts. I’ve been trying my best to work on myself and be better for them, I’ve reached out apologized many times, but they still don’t want me back. Any tips for dealing with the grief of dipsite all my efforts, still losing a friendship.

what do you have to do if your friend is ghosting you?

im quite litrilly waiting for her birthday to say happy birthday. i want her to know that i remeber

That's beautiful, but unfortunately I don't think my stubborn friend will see anything he did as wrong because he has an very extremist left-leaning view where every disagreement leads to me being called nasty-right-winged word ( _even though I am so left I'm practically a Pirate_ ). I just don't see things his way and I don't believe in always believing someone based on arbitrary systemic stuff, based on a lot of my own negative experiences which are never ever considered but in fact always brushed aside. I wish my friend would stop seeing the world so intensely black and white. In the end, I'll own up for it because I don't hold grudges, but I won't receive the same back.

I watched this video a year ago and I also watched the one about healing from a friendship breakup Today I watched them again and I have a question: Is having too many friends circles or having a bigger closer group of friends a bad thing? Or do people confuse acquaintances, friends, and people between these as real and/or close friends? I do understand that there are moments in which "friends" (people really) can be closer or further away or that some friendships can fade for multiple reasons and they'll still be important in our past or present and even caring on into the future. I've been told I talk and have too many people "close" to me. TO me, that's very weird it isn't something I ever had the tendency to have. Most of the time it's hard to talk to more than 4 people and I still prefer 1 or 2. Yet I have become aware that I'm often exhausted and don't really enjoy the time I spend with a few of them sometimes, especially for long. Other times I question how genuine some of these circles are, I often feel like a tool or convenient but I don't feel like I'm being manipulated at all (every time I felt it I immediately said no to whatever it was or removed myself from the situation) I just feel stupid. Problem: I like helping them most of the time, and to spend time with them and being a person they trust and come to for comfort and advice or simply listening however it seems unreciprocated and sometimes inconvenient to me. I may be having difficulty establishing boundaries or letting them go since I'm not the most skilled at communicating for multiple reasons. I used to be a very direct and distant person and quite detached from my feelings. I am still a bit like this, not gonna lie, and I miss that distance, people never bothered me THIS much. I'm tired, confused and overwhelmed. But if I go back to being me, my private, reserved, introverted, I don't care and couldn't care less self, I'm also gonna lose people I actually don't want to lose as well. And it will be my fault. I truly think that if I do anything I'll most definitely cut them out at this point, not because it isn't fixable but because my mind doesn't like the situation and prefers to not deal with it instead of addressing it and nothing changing as a possibility which isn't fair. But it is simple and I'll get over it and regain my silence and space (I must say I do require a specific and longer than normal type of both). I think this is destabilizing me. The worst is that I know at least some of them don't want that and are willing to talk and adjust, but I'm also conscious that it takes time which we don't have much of, due to very busy schedules. Some of them reached out and tried to talk to me, however, because I'm really slow processing this and I understand that there are moments and moments I wasn't ready for it yet and when I became ready, as much as possible (I hate talking about this stuff unless it's in the moment(sometimes)) it's no longer the time for it. Therefore, now, I'm letting time pass by while thinking and being bothered by it way too often until I can talk about it without being too aggressive or too distant and numb or rushing. How can I approach this without going insane and jeopardizing my productivity and future? I don't want to hurt anyone that doesn't deserve. I'm not perfect and I don't want them to be, but I don't know what's going on and yet I'm felling the consequences. This is all my fault isn't it? I really like your videos and how it makes me feel less of a weirdo for seeing a situation from multiple perspectives but still with a critical mind. Thank you for your work, clarifications and reasurence. As a hard headed with a bit of a temper but a lot of logic and an overthinker who does care your videos REALY HELP Sorry it wasn't supposed to be this much.. I swear THANK YOU

I had a friend. He was great. But suddenly he started being toxic and angry. And that was the end. 😢

I'd love to apologize for where I messed up, what I'm aware of anyway, (I'm pretty sure with the triangulation that happened, I have 'sins' I don't even know about after months of looking for obsessively (to unhealthy points) inspecting every little thing I said and did) but I'm blocked. So yeah.

Yeah well- What if the trust was broken by some sort of treason? And one side is mentally abusing the other for it. Something like- Apology won't help here, you want my love and trust again, you are going to have to do X Y Z things, and until you won't do it you are not getting my trust. Can you fix something like that? And yes I am talking about my personal life. Maybe after the trust is broken the best thing to do is to say goodbye.

I got really upset because my freinds wouldnt ever reach out and talk to me, or hang out with me, amd they would cancell on plans all the time, i was always the one putting in the effort. I voiced this to them, maybe a bit harshly, and about a week later they all texted me saying they didnt want to be freinds anymore. Thos hurt alot, and im scared of going back to school and having nobody and watvhing them sit together at lunch and have fun together whilst ignoring me. I want them back because i miss them alot, they all blocked me so i cant contact them till school starts next month. What should i do to try and heal this?

i hope this works wish me luck

How do you unite the clans thats one hellavu question this was yes growing apart and also bad shit man

I have borderline. and a few months back, I didnt know that I have bpd. and I was too much for a friend who I held close to my heart, and she's still dear too me (probably cause bpd.) and I'm just unsure ... what to do ... I dont want to bothering her because I know that she has her own struggle. but she was one of the few people wehre I felt like I was accepted.. I dont know. I'm so affraid

I think I'm too far gone with my friend we had a falling out and I ended up pushing too hard to try and get her to talk to me. Now she wants nothing to do with me and I'm still caught up in trying to become friends with her again and its been six months, but two months since I've tried reaching out to her. At this point i'm looking for any reason to make me not like her anymore and I'm trying to convince myself that she's become an even worse person than the person that I knew, but at that point I think it's just me lying to myself

Hey! Needing some help right here. Some dude I really liked and had something special with just ghosted me. We've known each other for 5 years and he is a gentleman, sweet and respectful guy. We kissed and I felt some connection. Everything was great. Two days later he ghosted me and has been for 2 months. What should I do if he contacts me? Last time we talked he said he was interested in having something with me. How can I respectfully tell him that he has to own his shit??

i used to like another girl in a class and while liking her i made many friends in her class one of them was a girl who used to be my best friend at the time but since i stopped liking the girl we stopped talking from days it became months from months it became years we havent talked in a while few years ago i could talk to her like if she was my sister and now in school i struggle to even look at her. i really want to bring this friendship back. someone please help

We made up but things aren’t the same, I damaged her trust and I dont know how to restore it

What do you do if they have blocked you? Im hurt is so broken from a lost friendship and I dont know what to do.