How To Stop Being Angry At Someone Who Hurt You 

my anger comes from hurt and the feeling of being disrespected, especially when I know that I am bring treated differently than other people. In other words, it's selective for some people to pick the people they want to take their stuff out on.

I'm now angry at me being angry lol

I came here angry, then i cried.. then i used my blanket as a cape.

"Sure you have villains in your life, But whats the purpose of a villain? To illuminate you as a hero!" 😯👏👏

When he said "breathe" I started breathing and instantly crying. Now I must watch a video about how to stop being sad with someone who hurt you XD

I’m dealing with anger bc my boundaries are being violated

I searched how to forgive and found this wonderful man who obviously cares very much for others. He explained how I am hurting myself by not forgiving. I won't tell my victim story. I have done enough of that. I have been living with this awful anger. This man has enlightened me to understanding why I am angry. I think I am ready to forgive now. Thank you kind sir.

When the student is ready the teacher will appear. Thank you!

i love this. i get into rages so bad i can feel it physically affecting me. i had the cops called to my house once because neighbor's thought my yelling and crying was two people and not one. i like your down to earth style. your point about how it's not a choice until it feels like one is so spot on and this is the first Ive heard it put that way. it's like ego or something wants to hold onto anger once it starts.

1- When you are angry activate frontal part of your brain and shut down fight fight part 2- breathe nice and slow. It helps you to reverse anger effect. 3- take it less personal. other people experience same type of hurt. It is not personal. Your not special. Get over yourself it’s not about you. 4- it is about poor desicions of person who hurt you 5- take FULL responsibility of how you feel. when you see there is a choice it becomes a choice. 6 - create a hero story. Don’t be victim become a hero

I get so angry I cant control myself and then I just break into a cry and lock myself in my room thanks this really help

As someone who bottles up most of my anger, I really needed this.

I was betrayed by a group of "friends" when i was dealing with depression. I was suicidal and they cast me out of the group after which i attempted suicide. I've been in lockdown for about 4 months now and that sadness has turned to rage and has been festering for months EDIT: For the record it was an LGBT group and i was so pissed at them i was at a point where i was trying to find conversion therapy to become as distant from them as possible. Now I'm reaching a point where i don't feel anything for anyone. No empathy, no joy seeing or talking to others, no sadness, no anger. I'm becoming numb to other people

His voice itself is so soothing!

This was so encouraging!!! I see now that I truly forgive my ex for stealing my precious children for four years, and that I am not letting anger overrun my life, but am letting my circumstances create empathy in me, instead of bitterness. Yay JESUS!!!

My anger comes from over 35 years of abuse, mockery, being on the receiving end of rage from my sister. I feel disgusted calling her "my" sister. She is a horrible narcissist & psychopath. And hating her makes me physically ill. I have forgiven her 50000 times at least. I don't want to do it anymore. She is reckless and doesn't care about anybody's feelings. She mocks my 75 year old mother and winks at me as if it's a joke.

Thank you so much😭😭 this has helped me so much. You are a true gift for sharing this with us.

I'm blinded by anger toward someone. I fell for the lies of a woman that told me she was being abused by her husband so I took her to live with me. She would tell me things about him that were horrid, she had a lot of issues mentally and emotionally, but back then I couldn't see it was an act so that she could manipulate me by playing victim. I broke up with her because she drove me crazy many times with nonsense arguments. We share the same workplace so it's hard for me to avoid her, and to make matters worse she's back with her husband, and apparently being way happier than ever, as if I was the instrument to fix their relationship. I spent money on lawyers when I was trying to help her, all money from hard earned savings, spent money to find her an apartment when we broke up... I don't mind her being with someone, finding a partner, but GOING BACK WITH HIM??? It makes me feel like the stupidest human being on the earth. And I feel like she's mocking me now because that guy goes to my workplace to check her. I want the worst for them, I can't help it. I swear I pray God for them to be so happy that they might decide to move somewhere else, but I'm lying to myself... It's driving me crazy... Can't help it, I want retribution. How can I feel pity for them when I see her rubbing in my face that she's happy with that bastard?? Again, I don't mind her being with someone, I'm convinced of my decision of breaking up with her, but her being back with him is the biggest offense life could give me after all the sacrifice I did.

I'm repeating myself but... This is pure gold!

I love how you break it down to bite-sized thoughts and actions - so helpful and digestible!

I have watched three of your videos this morning and I have been struggling with the subjects of the videos I watched!!! Thank you so much for sharing and posting these videos!!! You have instantly helped me with so much!!! All my love and blessings & grace from our LORD ABOVE, today and always!!!

I went from trauma to fear to confusion to resentment and to anger sometimes in no particular order.. My ex husband and parents got together and ruined my reputation and sadly want me destroyed. My ex has control issues and manipulates people easily, my parents live in total denial of anything that doesn’t suit them and being called out threatens them. I have been the scapegoat and black sheep all because I seek the truth. I have been treated worse than a murderer however I am free to find my own tribe and rewrite my story. I thank god for people like you and many others that have helped keep the light on in what was a dark place 🙏

Thank God I came across this video. Anger consumed me and it made me feel weak and depressed. Worse than feeling angry at others, I felt angry at myself for allowing myself to be misled. But will work on myself now. Thank you!

Wow thank you for explaining that so perfectly. I just hope I can remember it and use it. Thank you

Thank you so much for showing the 4 sides of anger /victim and also how an angry person can change their perspective to handle anger and victimhood in a unique way! My brother has been holding onto this anger / victimhood against one person for over 7 years .. I plan on sharing this video with him!

Anger is a natural response when we perceive that our boundaries have been violated if you meet someone stronger, also it is a response when you try to control someone weaker that’s why we see so many angry parents at their kids or angry husbands at their wives. Instead of analysing your feelings get yourself in a stronger position and make the other people choose how they feel. I stopped being polite and nice to bullies, I challenge them and if they get angry they can practice what dr Positive tells them.

I'm suffering through severe depression. Just watched about 5 to 6 videos of yours. And it helped a lot. Thanks a lot for spreading smiles and helping in my depressed times. 😃

Thank you for this video, it has helped me a lot. After accepting #3, taking full responsibility for my feelings, it also helped me a lot to read the 7 stages of grief to realize what feelings I've been having and what feelings are normal. My loss and anger had nothing to do with the death of a person but loss of a part of my life. The stages of grief are the same. Thank you for you channel and all the work that you are doing!!!

Amazing advice! Exactly what I needed to hear. I am a better person for having watched this video. Thank you.

This was the video that really helped me deal with a situation that's overwhelmed me for almost a year. All other video just blame you and make you even more angry. But this calmed me and gave me practical guide to move forward

Dear sir First of all i want to thank you for uploading this video I have gained so much by just listening and following you You are a great teacher and a guru. Your knowledge is deep and you have healing power. May God bless you with the best things on earth. You are a blessing to mankind. I just don't have enough words to thank you. In this evil world people like you are true heroes Thanks so much sir. Lots of respect

The insight in this video was very needed. I’ve been dealing with anger and resentment for years and this video was very spot on.

Your videos have given me hope and practical advice. Thank you. I especially like how you explain how to forgive someone, dealing with anger and how not to take things personally. You are truly gifted.

Thank you Dr Jenkins! (And to your wife too, she is wonderful as well!). I am so surprised that you don’t have more views… you really illustrate how to handle the anger emotion effectively and live a thriving life despite of challenges. God bless you and your family.

Love this! After leaving my abusive ex of five years (me and my daughter were assessed as high risk by our local domestic abuse service), nearly 5 years after leaving him and 1 year after moving out of the same area as him, I’m no longer in the level of survival mode I was in a year ago and before. I can finally look at my feelings without a sense of imminent danger around me. I was good at looking at my feelings and choosing how to feel, but that was still alongside living 500 metres away from my ex on a restraining order so it was harder. I can do it fully now without looking over my shoulder. This is a really good video. And now I’m volunteering in domestic abuse. I started creating my hero story 4 years ago and it’s really paying off now! I love my story!!

Thanks for posting this video. I may need to watch it a few more times before it sinks in. I just started a new job (3 months in) and already I'm getting attitude even though I keep to myself, and treat others with kindness, work super hard and help out. I always start each day fresh and I'm really aware of my internal state. I also go to therapy but I feel like I'm just learning to deal with OTHER peoples' bad behavior. Even if I have a horrible day, I could never take it out on someone or treat them rudely. I think it's important to cultivate compassion. It boggles my mind that other people are so unaware of their internal state and can easily take it out on people or not listen to others. It just feels like I have to bear everyones' poor emotional regulation. I can be really nice (which honestly should just be the damn baseline standard but it isn't,) and I think people think they can take advantage of it even though I can set healthy boundaries and say "no." I literally do not get what is so hard about being nice to people!

Been obsessed over hurt and it's destroying me. Then I found this video. Shocked at how differently you presented this, especially about making my reaction a choice as opposed to helplessly drowning in rage. I believe this video will be a positive turning point. THANK YOU!!

Dr Paul Jenkins is the GOAT of emotional advice and counselling, no one even comes close to him handling complex issues such as this like a pro. Thank you Dr Paul keep up the good work.

LOL. Love it. That’s EXACTLY what we do! And what I am currently doing!

‘There’s a reason why you’re having challenges, it’s to illuminate you as a hero!’ Love this entire video, thank you so much :)

Thank you Dr. Paul once again 👍👍 it’s so amazing how we always have choice and control.... May we all choose to take responsibility for our stuff and do our best to become hero’s 🙏 that’s my plan 👍👍

This is so well done. This video deeply changes my mood when I watch it when angry. Which is rare. So well put and thanks.

Ex roommates in my university crossed a lot of boundaries with me and knew it bothered me when I couldn’t sleep because of there inappropriate behaviors. When I approached it. I got gaslight because I was the bad guy but these things that aren’t allowed on campus in the first place. I left but I still feel angry they walked all over me. I will move on, but I have no obligation to forgive them.

Damn! That was some tough love right there. Helpful though and I’ve needed it, for months. Thank you.

I love this - I am hero and the villains only exist to make me shine! This statement is going in my art journal. Thank you so much 💓💗💛💖☺

Clean, simple, true, strong, an advice forever. Thank you 🌷

" i was going kind of crazy a moment ago with anger " ... man so happy i find this page thanks man god bless you. I feal alot better.

Wow. I’ve recently been through a highly traumatic experience and have been working on my box of anger. This advice is really going to help me on my way. Thank you Dr Paul.

Thank you! Really learning a lot of helpful things

I'm sorry to say I really needed this today. Thank you for the energy switch and actional and reasonable steps 👍

Is it possible to have tears of understanding ? This gave me so much clarity I’m now crying

Thank you.. I've been through the hurt, the blaming myself, and was just into the blaming them part... Was recently in a break-up where I didn't want to go anywhere but they wanted to leave.. It's been tough. I appreciate your help.

Such good information. Thank you!!!!

Wow I really needed this video. Thanks so much for providing this free content.

Dr. Paul, I strongly agree with you ... choice for changes. To need support in dealing with discouragement, anxiety, and the realization of painful truths about themselves.

I am so glad I found you. You are so calming to me. I really appreciate you making these videos. I am going to try my hardest to try your suggestions out the next time stress enters my life!! You are the best Dr!!

Thank you for this video. You have a special way of communicating. I really understand you. You've brought me a lot of help and insight.

This was a wonderful vid to listen to, reflect upon and shift to put the practical steps into motion. I really needed to receive this sort of guidance at this time in my life. I had no idea what taking deep breaths did regarding how it relates to the brain! Wow! I have bookmarked this and labeled it important for when I need this sort of support again. Atlantic Canada says cheers during covid.

Your my hero! Much love from New Zealand 🙏💚

I appreciate this a lot. I'm trying to grow up right now in my life, this gives me another perspective to being upset. Thank you.

SUPERBBBBBBBB DR PAUL .thanks alotttttttt for ur valuable advices ....

All your videos are so enlightening and empowering. Thank you.

Dr. Paul you have helped me so much by making and sharing this video. I have really been struggling and didn't know how to get the pain to subside. You sharing this has helped me gain better perspective and offered a way out of the anger and pain. Thank you!

Thank you this helped me! Changed my vibration from low and now I’m smiling

Whoosh! This vid is recalled up on the playlist as the hurt of betrayal resurfaced. Didn't see the betrayal coming either! Love your passion Dr. Paul. Get a great kick out of your expressions while you talk. Awesome! If one thinks about it, the adversity and villans bring some of us to your video's where YOU get to shine as a HERO! AWESOME EH! 💯. 💚Positivity idea is that the betrayal has awakened me to notice that I need more work on being hurt, accepting it etc. Plus, I get to revisit your video's eh! 😉 Thank you Dr. Paul. Hope you had an OK day. 😀 🇨🇦

This is a great video thank you so much for uploading this

Damn! That’s what I needed! That repressed and anger is coming out. My dad was abusive so I learned anger was bad. Well that’s what I associated that emotion. I felt the anger and I release it!!! I’m living now!

I will control of being angry. Thanks for your great method great advice. Im glad I found this platform. Thanks again

oh that kinda shifted the perspective for me. When I think of it as sort of human adversity we all share. This is about me overcoming adversity and becoming a real hero...

This video totally talks down to people. That is the last thing anyone needs who is looking for information.

Oh man I needed this!!!!! Thank you!!!

This is such good information… Thank you

Spot on Dr.Paul👏 thank you.

I just came across your video.... thank you I really needed this advise.

Thank you. I really needed this.

You're awesome! I needed this for years. God bless you.

I cannot thank you enough,how it makes clear sense,life love,attretion is all a choice,its how we think,and react and survive persaonal trials and diffuculties is what matters.God bless you Dr Paul and your sharing of knowldege..😀

This has really helped me. Thank you😌

Your videos especially this one is amazing , inspiring, information I havnt heard anywhere else . Thank you !!!

Bless you brother. This is gold.

Wow, well I don't know what to say other than thank you for the wake up call. I am absolutely feeling each and everything you said in the first four examples of anger. I don't want to feel as I do which is why I searched for some reasoning. I now feel like I have some help getting past my anger. I have had it all the time but didn't see it this way. Moving past how I feel will still not be easy but I at least can start working on a constructive way to get out of this misserable moment in time. I have been holding onto my anger for well over a year and it has dimmenished who I am inside. It has affected my work and relationship with others. I have always known it's going to be me that needs to change my mind set but my hate and anger have kept me feeling sorry for myself. No excuse for me to continue with the blame game. Sir I want to say thank you and I hope you see my comments and know you have helped a complete stranger find himself again. I am grateful.

Amazing video ❤ Thank you!

“It’s not my fault, UGHH!” Hahhha I love it!😆

Really needed this, thank you

Needed this today, thanks a ton

I like you especially because you took me out of my head, I feel better. Thanks for giving me ( something to do)

Thank you for this!

Haha oh this guy is so real. Laughing at parts. Great video.

Thank you I believe I really needed this.

Thank you. I am doing the first way. I’m gonna try your second approach.

This guy is GOOD. LOVE the use of humour and reverse psychology! Made me laugh my way out of my anger and prevented defensiveness. Very helpful too.

Thanks bro for the talk

We all have lessons to learn in this life, and we only grow from adversity; Consider it a gift rather than a punishment!

Great video.... thank you!!

Your presentation is off the charts - so brilliant 🎉

I'm angry that someone I trusted and really cared about betrayed my trust and disrespected me completely.

I think it's easy to ubderstand that we get angry when we are hurt. Ironically the people who get angry the most, tends to be the nicer and caring ones

"It's not a choice until you see it as one" - awesome

I just love your approach!

Thank you for your time