How to Talk to Strangers - The Ping Pong Method 

i used this method many many times instinctively, it rely works, but i never thought to give it such a well articulated name :) Thanks :) Have a nice day!

I'm like a robot learning to be human. Thanks for the video!

I went to a party and this weird guy wouldn't shut up about my cats. He asked me about my cats for 2 hours 🤣

You know you down bad as an introvert when you’re watching youtube tutorials on how to talk to people

Funny how showing genuine interest makes people want to talk for hours about their passions. I think the biggest challenge is being able to continue the conversation in a natural way, not letting it die out.

If Someone answered with "im a barista, do you have any pets" i would find that to be funny as fuck 😂

When I try to start a conversation I feel that it usually turns into an interrogation

I've used this technique a lot for about 20 years nearly. It works well with strangers but sometimes it can still be difficult to escalate and build rapport. One issue that comes up I find with this is sometimes the other person may only talk about themselves and not ask you questions in return. Often times I feel like I'm interrogating the other person or they rely on me to carry the conversation. I'd suggest also making statements that aren't questions too, because they can act as prompts for the other person to ask you more about it or even open up new things they're interested in taking about. Good vid

I love this method because it makes it so you aren’t self-centered about the topic.

I instinctively used this method once I became more social. Thing is, I can ask a person about their interests and let them talk about them on and on and on but at some point it felt weird just asking questions. So now I ask people about something and then share my experiences with them about that topic if I have any.

As a social butterly, it’s fascinsting seeing someone carefully dissect and explain to me why I’ve always had great conversations with strangers.

- Hello there! - Emmm, hello. - Dou you like my cat? - W-what cat? - Let's go to my house and I'll show you - Nah, think I'l pass. - Ok.

I think it's all about actually being interested in what someone has to say and will use this naturally!

I'm a huge introvert and i struggled with making small talk and talking to people in general. I used this video and the ford method one on some friends and now they talk to me more often now. I've also used it at a wedding and was able to talk to my family more too. Thank you so much🙏🙏🙏

This definitely works, I somehow managed to have a 3 hour conversation with a stranger about the weather, and it wasn't even awkward!

The problem with conversations rn is that people focus so much on what they have to say, which is so selfish, that they forget there's another person in the conversation. This method changes this, it makes you create some kinda connection. That's awesome

I do this all the time. For people with anxiety, getting other people to talk about themselves is an easy way out lol

I've been applying this for several years now. It's a method I always used to talk to strangers and it's been successful 90% of the time. The other 10% are people who just didn't feel like chatting. Interesting to know someone's coined a term for it. It's definitely helpful.

Pure gold, I now see even how other people have used this with me and I always remember how charismatic they were.

I picked up on this method by listening to Theo Vons podcast. He does this same thing during his conversations. My own personal touch to having better conversations now is to pretend I’m on a podcast 😂 it may sound funny but it works! I feel so much more engaged and attentive when having conversations with new people and it’s made me step out of my comfort zone a lot, socially speaking.

I use this method every time I meet new people, but I often find that it results in the other person talking a lot about their passions and interests (which is great!), but simultaneously forgetting to ask questions back (which can be frustrating if the conversation goes on for a long time). I think for some people meeting someone who listens attentively and is interested in asking lots of questions is quite rare and special, and therefore they forget to ask questions in return. Of course, this is not really a bad thing! You got the chance to learn about the person, and they got a chance to talk about what they love.

Showing genuine personal interest, asking viewpoint questions, sharing how I feel or relate to their responses, and not appearing to be a cross examiner. Listen carefully, have good eye contact, be sincere, don’t interrupt when they respond or turn the conversation to be all about yourself

I am happy to see that you are again making those videos. I’ve been watching them since a long time and had immense take-always from them. Thank you!

I'm so bad at this but my husband is so good at it... He enjoys talking with strangers so much it still surprises me to this day

Finally. I have a good way to learn more about my creepy uncle.

I do this at work! I work for a restaurant that only sells chicken and isn’t open on Sundays, and one thing I pride myself on is being able to talk to anyone 😂 the feeling of success when I finally break through even the toughest cookies is awesome! In all honesty, I feel like genuine human connection is so important. I feel like a lot of people just want to be heard, the amount of times people have confided in me about their lives is more than I could count. 10/10 this method really helps conversations and connection start to become natural for you

Sometimes, the real trick is to actually want to get to know the other person, then the flow of questions and answers will flow out naturally. The only problem is when you're the one making conversation and the other person isn't as into the conversation as much as you do. Then it starts to feel awkward. I personally don't wanna waste my time if the other person doesn't seem interested, whether or not it's their intentions. Most people are introverted, so maybe that's why, but conversations are called conversations because two or more people are talking back to each other. If there isn't any verbal feedback, you can hardly call that a conversation.

Ngl this is like one of the most helpful videos I have watched. Most people say,”Just go up and talk to somebody,” but this is telling us how to make good conversation. Honestly great video and I hope to see more!

Tips for Making Good Conversation with a Stranger. Comment on a topic common to both of you at the moment: the food, the room, the occasion, the weather. ... Comment on a topic of general interest. ... Ask open questions that can't be answered with a single word.

I learned this when I was younger because if you don't lead the conversation and prime the other person to add their own input they will just sit there giving short non substantive answers while you deadlift the entire social interaction. I think this is more important now where a lot of first time interactions are online and you can't rely on visuals and body language to steer conversation.

Absolutely legend. After watching countless channels on psychology, philosophy etc. I came across with yours and right in this first video I've watched, I felt extremely comfortable. Many others were ruthlessly depicting interpersonal communication as a scary, dangerous minefield (including the most popular ones such as The School of Life), and it quickly starts to feel as a complete shit-show. I can't describe how eye-opening and calming this one is. Thank you so much.

Over the past free years I’ve naturally figured out this method but this video is so helpful and would’ve explained it perfectly if I hadn’t known the technique already. I’m not autistic but I do struggle a lot with social skills and am close with autistic people and I can see this type of video being so efficient in explaining the method

Isn't this just how any conversation should work? Ask a question, show an interest in their answer, ask another question if they don't ask you one. Surely it's common sense

I don't need to watch the video, I understood perfectly from the thumbnail. I just have to approach people and spit in their faces. This is going to work wonders!

This is how I speak to people naturally, I never knew it had a specific name.

Love this... if the other person is receptive... unless you live in LA and the other person answers you questions with "why"

Provided that this talk is actually a script, it is one hell of a essay. Keep the good work up

This video is completly underrated! You have close to 2mio subs bur merely 20k views on this vid... This is so useful advice! Thank you :D

This method was what I did when I had my job application interview and it worked really well for me, there was no dead air in the interview and it flowed naturally within me and my interviewers. 😊

i’m autistic and i’ve been watching on repeat this since last year, this has helped me so much with learning how to communicate and now i’m in a happy relationship, that’s because of this video, i wouldn’t know how to talk with other people otherwise, so thank you

Ping pong is easy, but at some point, you can define yourself as either a talker or a listener. I know my fellow listeners can relate when I say this, it sucks sometimes haha. Never being able to tell a full story or never being able to fully get your point across without being cut off and the conversation changes

I feel like extroverted people who are great at socializing, apply strats like this one subconsciously. I'm introverted and struggle a lot with talking to strangers. Making friends just kinda happened when conversations went well without me noticing why exactly, they went well. The weird thing is, in online multiplayer games, I'm super social. I love it when people join me on chat benches and I'll invite people to chat too. I didn't even have to think about it. Everything would just happen on it's own. I never understood the difference but this video makes it a lot clearer. It's always been asking questions until the discovery of a subject one of the conversation parties can happily info dump about, while party 2 is interested in hearing more. An instrument they play, a pet they have, an anime they are passionate about etc. Before party 2 adds to the same subject or switches to a subject related to it. I never knew to consciously do this in real life to a stranger, but now that I know exactly how it works I can give it a try.

I just looked at the thumbnail and I assume it is representative of the video so I’m gonna go spit in some strangers faces! Wish me good luck

This has been my default method of communication my entire life. I don't think of it so much as a method that can be mechanically employed, but a fundamental disposition toward reality (in this case people) where you are genuinely curious and not forcing empty questions that you yourself are not interested in. To be fair, the minimum requirement (for me) is a sincere desire to connect...but, even then, it helps if you find topics inherently interesting - or, most optimally, it should be a "win-win": ask the questions/engage in the conversation in a way that is genuinely interesting for you and the other person.

i do this already, its really great advice. i like doing this especially with shy peeps, i think they take a little time, so direct interest goes a long way.

You should do an in depth video on introductions or “starting a conversation” and ways to bring up something based on the environment and how well you know the person.

Oh this is beautiful, I naturally do this when I'm interested in the person but this is great to do actively with people I dont know at all.

This is great actually. I remember talking about high end fireplaces at a dinner one time.

I did this unintentionally and we are now going on a year of living together. I love my boo thang… it’s interesting how easy introverts are to commit once you get us to open up. ❤️😂

Man this is excellent! Well done

dont think of it as a method, as this is a normal part of effectively getting to know people. very solid advice

Yeah, but it's still a lot harder than it sounds, and it only works under the implication that you two have common interests. What if they bring up something you just don't care about? Then you have to feign interest and it makes the whole conversation disingenuous. I have had conversations where I could not find anything in common, and when we finally found a remotely common interest, I latched onto the subject desperately which made the conversation even more awkward,

I legitimately didn't know that I had been using this method already and with great use lmao

A great way to describe the basics of getting to know someone

You have a great voice man. I think it would make anyone feel comfortable.

I also have used this one a lot without having a name to it, but i’d also call it “drill deeper” as an alternative to ping-pong. Basically that part of asking a question, hearing their answer, then drill deeper on their answer with questions to better understand them - and then relate it to my own experience for showing how i feel about it, before returning back to their previous line of dialogue to follow on new tangents. The main intent is to “drill deeper” past the surface question to start getting introspective responses or encouraging deeper details

Im an adult and most people would see me as a "childish nerd", because programming is my job and hobby, I also play "nerdy" video games and card games like Yu-Gi-Oh. People used to think that im very shy, but I wasn't really shy, I just didn't care to talk with other people and even less about "casual" topics and so I never started any conversations with strangers or ended them very quickly by lying, for example when someone asked me which video games I play currently, I would say something silly like "nothing specific", until the stopped with the questions and moved on. About a year ago I met a old childhood friend, she doesn't do any of this "nerdy" stuff and we have nothing in common. But since we are childhood friends and we didn't see us in a very long time, she wouldn't stop asking and wanted to have an actual conversation with me. Then I did something, that I never did before: I actually listend to the things she talked about, even if I thought that I don't care about these topics at first and then I realized that it is actually fun to listen to her and learn new things and new point of views. So I continued to talk with her and started to ask questions about the things she said, because I was actually curious to learn more about her, I think it was very similar to this "Ping Pong Method". While I still don't care about conversations with most other people, I had many conversations with this specific person since then and we met regulary to talk about stuff that I usually wouldn't talk or know about.

Was thinking about a date and how to keep on going with flow. This video was worth it 🔥

I remember vividly doing this subconsciously while talking to an old relative of mine. He seems disinterested at first but then started opening up about his younger days when he used to sail by boat and work in other countries

Instructions unclear, after challenging every stranger I've met to a ping pong battle I have become the champion of the johto region

This sounds very hard, imma go back to to studying DNA transfer in bacteria, mutations, and DNA repair mechanisms

I’m an only child, and at some point in all of my awkward interactions with people I learned this on my own. I married an introverted spouse and they always say “you’re so social”…. And it makes me feel awkward because I remember the days before I had this back and forth dialogue. I cannot thank you enough for putting this method into words that I might be able to share with them to help them understand how I’ve learned how to communicate. 🙏🏻

Thank you! I just wish I had heard this before because I'm just here thinking of conversations that could have been a lot better if I'd used the ping-pong method. Oh well, better late then never!

my social anxiety needed this thank you

:D I've always used this and didn't even know it was a thing :D I can tell that this really works and the conversation gets so interesting for both sides!!

your voice is so calming and interesting, it drowned me in video, thank you for sharing

Thanks for this, I hope he sees this and appreciate it

I think this is just normal conversations

OMG Its revolutionary. Never before the conversation needed two people to exchange questions and answers. I used to stand alone in a room and throw rocks at people through the window. Never made any friends :( Now I will finally be happy and ask people about cats for 15 minutes and hope that they will open up! Thanks PING-PONG!

Dr K. uses this method masterfully

As I've recently taken a fascination with language learning I have recently opened up more to people at my work or in my life who I know are bilingual. People warm up to you very quickly if you take an interest in not only them as a person but showing interest in their native language. I've learnt phrases in Samoan, Tongan, Hindi and Punjabi which I think are very difficult languages to learn for an English native speaker. Now I absolutely love the laughs and smiles I get when I simply greet a stranger in their native language. Nobody expects the nerdy, introverted white guy to suddenly greet people in Hindi or Punjabi, and it instantly opens people up to pleasant, friendly conversation about language and culture. I can't believe I've spent my whole life up until this point just closed off to these opportunities for what seems like a massive barrier but is actually much easier than you think and you'll feel a lot better for it.

Thank you! I joke around a lot but when people started talking to me in private I don't know what to do.

Dude I was using this method without even noticing. I've had some problems getting to talk and meet new people for about 3 years since I grew up pretty much with no siblings and people my same age, but encouraged myself to just go up to people even if I was scared to do it, I just started talking and trying to make questions, but no to many at the same time and getting deep into the ones I felt that person looked comfortable e exited about, I started to do it with many people I saw for the first time or people i've seen before but that I didn't get to talk that much, I met a bunch of people, and including girls, I met some girls maybe looking for something for the night cause I don't really know how to hold a relationship because how skeptical and not very open I am with people😂. But at that point I wasn't really noticing the pattern of how I was talking or what questions were better and when to ask them. But this video just gave me the piece I needed and kinda like a better guide on how I was doing it Thanks so much man🙏😂

Dude when did you change your thumbnail that was surely reviving your videos. Your videos are being suggested to my feed. Well your videos do really have valuable lesson though. Very glad the algo show it up again. A good reminder for me to study again this topic.

Giving away tiny bits about yourself while asking questions makes a big difference. It creates points for the other person to comment on and keep the conversation going. (Yes I'm very shy)

I agree with whatever he is saying, but the bottom line is, if the opposite person shows no interest in you, no matter whatever you do, the conversation can never go further. That’s it.

I been using this method pretty well never knew it was called ping pong method lol but definitely helps me alot

Tried this with the voices in my head. Definitely works.

40 seconds into the video and I'm suddenly so amazed and baffled on how this is how a conversation works

You are really amazing thank you !! So much 😁

Some thing I would add to make this method more effective. You don't need to latch on to the first topic of conversation, especially if you are not interested in a conversation about cat like in the example. You can circle through a few topic until you find something you and the other person care about. Secondly conversation tend to feel more deep when people express what they feel about something and both party can reciprocate this feeling. Example: "What do you do for work?" "I work as a bartender" "Funny, I'm a barista. It can get pretty hectic at times, but it's better than being boring and you don't see time pass in those moments." "Yeah, I know what you mean there was this one time...."

This sounds a great idea. Now give me some confidence to apply this

I’m on the journey to become the most human person possible so thank you for this it helps a lot

Thanks for this, I recently heard about this method and you happen to upload a video🥳

i know this works, but it makes the whole conversation all about the other person. you're in a way just pleasing them, making them comfortable. what about your own interests? what if you just don't have anything in common with the person and you letting them talk about themselves gives them a ticket to come back to you, again the topic of conversation being thier interests

I use this method to keep the conversation on the other person. I avoid divulging my own life info, issues etc. It's so easy to keep other people talking about themselves. They never catch on.

thanks for the vid man it's great and inspiring

Video summary: The ping-pong method is a way of talking in which both interlocutors feel comfortable and the conversation flows naturally. It is important to ask questions and join the conversation to show interest in the interlocutor. An example of the use of this method is the successful opening of a forbidden interlocutor to talk about his hobby. - 00:00 The ping pong method is a way to have a conversation that makes both parties feel comfortable and the conversation continues naturally. - 01:21 Use the ping pong method in conversation to ask ongoing questions and show your interest. - 02:45 A man used the ping-pong method to talk to a stranger and learned a lot about his cats. - 04:07 Using the ping-pong method, the author was able to strike up a conversation with Uncle John and learn about his life and interests.

Eye contact. Make no assumptions. BE KIND

Thankss! My manipulation tactics are getting better day by day.

Thanks dude my Ai was real shy talking to strangers.

As an light autist i can say that conversating is not the difficult part . But reading the other person is or looking in their eyes is close to impossible . I knew i was autistic since i was 9 and thus learned a lot in social interactions but reading bodylanguage will always be the hardest part

I didn't know that I was using ping pong method in conversation since then harhar

It’s nice that you touched on eye contact. Sometimes people over due it makes it very uncomfortable

Thank you for this video! as an Introvert, I have now some steps how to ignore this ping pong method.

My problem is coming up with a good question on the spot. Because of past experiences in my childhood when it comes to speaking I feel like people just want me to shut up and not ask any question.

Goes home. Parents: Talk to anyone interesting? Son: I was able to talk to one person for a long time. Parent: did you guys connect and exchange information to hang out again? Son: yes got his instagram. Parent: nice, what did you learn about him Son: he has cats Parent: anything else? Son: no

As a totally real and authentic human, i found this video very helpful with conversing with other humans

I just snuck on earth, this video helps a lot!

You lost me at talking to another person