I'm £15,000 In Debt | FULL EPISODE | Spendaholics 

Jelly T me too

Ditto! Also check out Money Moron and Till Debt Do Us Part!

Me, too!

Haha me too 🤣

Jelly T OMG - I’m the same way with these shows!

very true. it is about twice that for a jar of brown sauce at Sainsburys 2024

It’s now costing £3.50 minimum

Which year was this aired?

Yeah, eating out is a poor financial decision all the way around, yet more and more people are doing it. You usually don't get stuff that is that nourishing. Not only un-nourishing, but fattening. And of course, it is overpriced. I even got food poisoning at an Olive Garden once.

LaLa Smith Good luck, you can do it. X

I know right? This show really helps me

Agree it’s when people start to get older they regret there financial mistakes.....

It’s been 12 days I haven’t bought any stuff! It feels so good to see my money grow in my account.

My thoughts exactly! She seems so lovely

I'm $7,000 in debt I have eight credit cards

@@bentleymilnes1977 okay chile.. anyways.

Yep - love them wish they’d bring it back haha

There’s a similar programme called Bank of Mum and Dad which is also good

Yes! We need more episodes please!!

And other people love London. It really doesn't matter where you live, you like some places more than others but you can't catch depression just by living in London. And not everyone who's depressed has a shopping addiction.

@@hannahcorinne5388 Why do you want to squash someone else's experience? Nobody said ALL people living in London are depressed and have shopaholic tendencies. She was saying 'life in the city can be very hard', and it can! What's it to you if that happens to others? You are invalidating their experience, but what is your motivation? Aren't you being a bit of a bully?

The op actually put it quite simply and true, and ot meets what you're saying: "Life in the city can be very hard and it either toughens you or breaks you".@@hannahcorinne5388

Totally agree....I am trying to get out of Sydney...

London sucks. I was there for 20 years. I was very focused though. Sick of renting. I saved up for 4 years. Gave up buying shoes. Clothes. Magazines. Hardly ever went out. No holidays. No expensive make up! And I got a 2nd job plus doing tons of over time. I was focused. Managed to buy a house. Best thing I ever did

I was thinking the same. Well said.

I agree she is a great girl

Totally agree

We are about 20 years on now, would be good to have an update.

She and Ruda the South African lady were my favourites. I disliked the blonde who flipped out over T shirts.

I agree, it makes me think he is not a good psychologist at all just likes to hear his own voice and theories

I don't think he's even an actual psychologist. Even in the show they introduce him as a psychological coach. He did not study psychology at university- at least there is no proof of that anywhere on the internet. There was an article in daily mail saying that in fact he made all this money by being an entrepreneur in a night-life business. On his website it says "he has received a training in psychotherapy", by European law anyone can call themself a psychotherapist- even the biggest quacks selling snake oil. He talks so much about the childhood- sounding like Freud but we all know how is Freuds work looked upon nowadays.

He’s a Pound shop “therapist” regurgitating every cliche he can think of.

Exactly, being a psycholist myself I don’t see why he thinks he can present himself as the expert about someone elses life and history

He's got terrible energy. Literally goes straight to childhood trauma to explain everything.

That is more an exclusion than a norm. With my former boss (small business) I had to ask for literally everything when I ran out - starting with stickie notes and paper clips :(

That's very lovely ! Great company to work with!🌻

What a wonderful company he works for

What is the name of the company, please? I would love to check it out.

Right, I figured this was in the early 2000s. Hopefully she bought a flat before things started turning around in about 2014. If so she’s sitting on a bucket of equity.

Bit smug

same here, and smoking, drugs, pets, kids ... paid off my mortgage early

Well done, that takes some willpower and resistance to peer pressure, especially in UK. In Europe you would not have had an issue. Thumbs up 💯

In the USA a Starbucks coffee is about $5. I have never bought a coffee there. If I don’t want to make it at home I will get one at the gas station way cheaper.

Now you’re looking at about £4

This series started in 2005!

This show was taped Friday, November 5th, 2004. See newspaper (1:21)

It used to be £1 in Starbucks back in 2010/11

She was earning decent money (50k salary in 2005) and it was a lot cheaper to buy back then. I earn less than her now and bought my own flat in London 2 years ago at 32. With her earning capacity, and what she could have saved over the years, yeah it was unusual to be sharing at 30 back then.

I’ve seen people in their 40’s and 50’s living like this just so they could live in central London! The mind boggles!!

I think it's just that she's an "adult" now, and at some point you probably don't want to be single and sharing a flat at 50. Though some would.

Yeeh

i agree, lots of people do that in London, it saves a lot of money and better than renting a 1 bedroom flat., has all facilities and often bills included...

@GW S the best comment ever🤣🤣🤣

Well done! You've inspired me, all the best

lucy hanna Thank you 😃

You rock!!! Congrat

How many pounds for a coffee in Starbucks

Sammy Ö saying it cost £1.90 for a coffee in London too...if only! And a flat in London for £260,000. Unheard of!

Someone (might have been Kay) said “how many people do you see going around with these reusable cups!?” That made laugh, especially since now “designer coffee” places encourage them!

Imagine how much it would have been in 2024

My Granny always said if you don't have the money for it, don't buy it. Loans, credit cards etc were swear words 🤣

@@pamcoulter6341 wise words!

You can share without the place looking like a pig stye

@@Apollyon-sz9sn no, she’s getting at the fact they share, period. Not because of the ‘state’ of the place. Thicko.

@@stargazing3956 you are rude and it was the messy dirty state of the kitchen as no one was looking after it.

@@jenrich111 wrong

yeah not all students are 19, what planet is Jay on?? lots of mature students in their 20s, 30s and 40s flatshare because they enjoy it and because it saves money. I don't like Jay, i find her rude.

DenBank1 haha, I do the same ... managing to keep it all under control and clean, but sometimes the monster is coming in and tries to drag you down >> off I go to a motivational RU-vid video :)

Massive medical and plenty of student loan debt. Luckily I like lentils, beans, and thrift stores!

Yep indeed and paying bills like how to.. how to do basic DIY including cooking basic healthy meals. List goes on.. it should be mandatory.

So true ,I watched several episode and Benjanmin did some great work

It's interesting to see people bash the psychologist in the comments. The second he told her that she and her mother don't really talk about the hard stuff, she became very defensive. I actually found it obnoxious to see her constantly nodding and interjecting "yeah...yeah...yeah" while he is speaking, as if she was only agreeing to get him to hush up, instead of just being quiet and focusing on what he has to say. He is clearly trying to help her address these issues, and they will not go away until she chooses to face them.

@@ericaenchanted the thing is he is not a psychologist! Even in the show they introduce him as a psychological coach. Someone writes a book and boom they can help people? He did not study psychology at university- there is no proof of that anywhere. In fact he made all this money by being entrepreneur in a night-life business. On his website it says "he has received a training in psychotherapy", by European law anyone can call themself a psychotherapist- even the biggest quacks selling snake oil. He says so much about the childhood- sounding like Freud but Freud's work has been criticized and is not used in today psychology. That's why people criticize him. Participants of this show need help but maybe from an actual professional.

I agree with you. At this stage, the woman who spends so much money needed help. These two persons are very helpful, just by coming to visit her, see her rooms , the flat overwhelmed with clothes and stuff. This is to make the woman see that she has really gone too far in her spending. It is not to humiliate her.

@@5kgxistiouvockzit7r94 correct. The episode i watched before this one referred to him as "a self help author and entrepreneur". No mention of any qualifications at any point in the show and there's nothing listed on his website either. A reputable therapist would have their place of study and evidence of degrees/qualifications from that university listed on their website on an about me page. He has nothing.

I am married to a brit and they are clue less when it comes to emotions. Keep calm and carry on

@@myhappyspace4533 That is quite a rude generalisation, don't you think? Not everyone is made to gush and there is no need to insult people who are different to yourself.

@@sewhip not ment to be rude, just as I do not have a clue about many things in life. Was just a observation

@@myhappyspace4533 yer sure of it I know exactly what ya mean. Carona virus, morgage foreclosure, missus just cheated on me it doesn't matter my mate would be like: wellllllll how about a cup of tea then. Oh come on I'm sure it's not as bad as all that. See c'mon I'll put the kettle on

@@garyhost1830 You are stupid!!!

😂🤣 classic

It was her 10th Anniversary of turning 30. No way she was 30.

Yeah, she looks mid-40s.

Agreed!! She looks way older; I don’t think it’s about Botox or make up standards - just genes and perhaps the alcohol isn’t great for her skin either

Absolutely. My sister worked in stage management in the west end for sixteen years and was constantly stressed, not just because it’s a hugely stressful career but also because she’d have months of £0 income. She had a houseboat for a while because she was sick of not having a home of her own, but she was constantly on the move. Once she quit backstage theatre entirely and got a job at Kew Gardens she relaxed immensely.

I disagree. I think people who don't understand freelancing think it's just this wild ride but if you're smart and organized you can make more as a freelancer/self-employed person than you can as an employee.

With the right savings, it's not that stressful. You just have to make sure your rate accommodates that idea you might be unemployed 2 or so months a year. Remember- especially in the USA - just because you have a full-time job doesn't mean they can't fire or make you redundant without much notice either...

@@mfenn7325 Exactly.

@@Theaterfreak me too...I feel great to have achieved working in theatre, but the insecurity, constantly looking for the next job, the travelling and the cost trying to live in London..all gets way too much after 17 years. Leave on a high! Then say "Enough!" 😃🥰

Indeed😮😮

I got fired 4 days before christmas eve, it wrecked my families christmas, new year, and my daughters birthday.

kdlofty 😱. That sucks!

@@SueP-D Tell me about it! I was in complete shock, and only came out of a severe depressive episode at the start of this week.

kdlofty Oh man I’m so sorry that happened to you, but I’m stoked for you to start pulling out of your depression 🙌🏼. You’ll find a better job, I’m certain. Any company that would fire someone 4 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS sounds like a bunch of a$$holes anyways. Go girl! I don’t know you but I’m rooting for you!!!!!💪🏼

@@SueP-D Thanks hun. And i'm a man! Lol.

I agree I found Benji a little bit boring with his childhood trauma.What about your childhood Benji, why you think you have a formula for everybody else life?Everybody can do your job with a life experience combined with compassion😉

@@evarose8677 The actual psychologist that comes in this show, Mark, is way better. Benjamin is not a psychologist or psychiatrist. He really shouldn’t have been giving people psychological advice.

You retired at 40! Omg you've been clever! Well done!

You spent money on a cleaner but already cleaned before they got there?

@@toniwilliamson94 yes, crazy I know 👀

@@toniwilliamson94 i do the same. Sounds daft but I half feel guilty for someone else dealing with my daily life's messes so I'll always give my house a onceover before my cleaner is due 😂

@@toniwilliamson94that would be me - the thought of someone coming into my home and cleaning up after me is horrifying, what would they think of the mess, and it’s not that messy either.

I was renting a room in a house for 8 years in London. The only thing that kept me from being embarrassed is I knew it was normal. Now I've moved to Kent and I'm earning £200 per week more so finally got my own home.

You dont have to live in a pig sty though!

exactly, lots of students flatshare in their 30s and 40s and are perfectly happy with communal living

Right! She was in her 20s, and doing as non millionaire 20yos do...

Totally agree. They're absolutely gasty. And it's an absolute no go taking her bank statement order. Are they're even real psychologists ?

I lived in a five room flat share for four years. I now live alone and hope never to have to share a living space with anyone ever again. I’d rather have to foot the cost for the full rent and bills myself, than deal with what I had to for four years. My current upstairs neighbour is a piece of crap, but at least I don’t have to live with him.

@@Theaterfreak caught one of my house mates having sex in my bed with her boy friend and all of my house mates thought I was over acting as I had thr only double sized bed.... Made me wonder what else people did in my room when I wasnt there, and they protested when I put a lock on

@@Theaterfreak an extra girl was brought in later on and she sticky tried to become me as we were both the only foreign girls and even doed her hair brown ut was so freaky

Yeah agreed. I live alone.

Disgusting​@@Lulu-ut9pv

She's as qualified as he is to make psychological remarks so yes. He has zero psychology qualifications. He went through therapy as a client and then wrote a few self help books. That's the sum total of his "qualifications"

@@CraftyWitch1990 Omg, yes, finally someone else realizes Benjamin Fry has zero qualifications to give psychological advice! I believe he is a psychotherapist now, but back then he surely wasn’t!

No it’s not. Most people are married by then

how long ago is this from?

@@summer_leaf823 around 15 years ago

Then you should definitely come and have a go at my entire house! I'd be happy to pay you❤

@@Sacheen81 if you live in NSW Australia I'll be there!! ;) hehe. Could do a skype consult if not lol. :-)

I felt the same, too.

dobcsek I wish they made these these days

Good one!😀

Yeee😅

Thank god I'm not the only one who saw it

Initially I thought it was a rat 🤣

😃🐿

More please

They only did a couple of series and it was fifteen years ago! I loved it at the time!

@@velvetindigonight Also Bank of Mum and Dad.

Yes

Considering the fact how bad those used capsules are for the environment, going back to traditional coffee brewing is really a much better idea.

Maybe she was ashamed to say that she lives like this in her 40🤷🏻‍♀️🤔🙂

Indeed😮😮

Seriously you comment phyco babble in every post I'm interested to understand what makes you state that. :)

@@soomysaleem351 her photo is of a person possibly of an older generation, if its of her a large majority believe that therapy is nonsense. They also believe is shoving many things under a rug.....some families go so far as to stuff sexual assaults, molestation, rape, extreme abuse.....right into that skeleton closet under lock and key....and pretend it never happened. Believing that if they dont talk about it, it'll go away. When in reality whoever it did happen to is likely suffering internally greatly, but silently, because that generation raised them to keep their lips shut and just move on. There is no moving on without resolution, confrontation, working through it. So my best educated guess, and no I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist, I've only experienced it in my personal life and many, many friends and family is that Lona has those ideals, well its quite obvious she doesn't believe in therapy or any technique, that its all unnecessary. She used words like "so called" brings up it being "mandatory ", and calls it "psycho babble". She's stuck in her ways, which is sad especially if someone near to her has unresolved conflict because those phrases straight away say to me she won't even entertain discussing the past. It also has a hint of defensiveness to it, meaning she knows there are.....and that scares me considering its not always as easy as just a divorce, it could be something much worse. My father had affairs his entire marriage with my mom....shes his 2nd wife, he's still married to his 3rd that he left my mom for. He left us on Christmas when I was 15......and didn't look back. It wasn't until I was 20 that we started speaking again. Even when he was home as a child he wasn't really there physically or emotionally. At 20, he still wasn't ready to talk about things and it did damage me in ways, it definitely damaged my sister who is in her middle 30s and has never found closure & unfortunately carried the same habits into her own relationships, marriage & raising of her kids. Its a precarious situation. I'm 40, for me the therapy, confronting those obstacles, and using different types of techniques....and then the big one, sitting down with those whom you love and talking about the elephant in the room. Well it released for me a huge weight I'd been carrying, and that family member of whom is likely the same generational age as Lona was uncomfortable but came around. Some won't get that closure. My father and I sitting down, and directly speaking about the choices he made, how he had disregard for what it did to us....well there was a lot. There were apologies etc. But still his wife currently controls his life, she had children from 3 prior marriages and my dad is more involved with her kids and those grandchildren than he is his biological grandkids. We live in the same small city. But my therapy individually allowed me to make peace within myself and move forward. All I'll say after that is this, Lona...the truth will always come out. Whether its while we are living and can do something about it, having accountability and accepting our rights and wrongs.....or after we pass and leaving loved ones with a pain and desire for answers they will never get then. I know which I couldn't stand to leave my family with.

@@df-nk6gd I am from the American south...they call it "keeping up appearances" here...what it should be called is "keeping toxic secrets" because that is *exactly* what it is...I wish you the very best, and hope for healing in your sister's life as well 💓

@@df-nk6gd tldr. But Lona just said, that in every show they have an expert that will find a childhood trauma that explains why they have a certain problem. It's never 'He likes to eat, she likes to spend money, they like their houses clean.' It always HAS to be something dramatic.

@@df-nk6gd I think youre over analysing just a wee bit. Im Pretty sure what OP means is that the therapist is possibly making connections that aren't there because it's a part of the formula of the show to deal with the psychological side behind unhindered spending from the angle of dissecting their childhood. He always seems to go for the childhood when what could've triggered this behaviour might have nothing to do with childhood but could instead be a more recent event.

Elizabeth Baker She didn’t want to listen. She kept saying she and her mom talk about the divorce all the time and it turns out they hadn’t at a deeper level. He was right.

Benjamin Fry was not a psychologist or psychiatrist at this time. He is very pushy and it feels like he puts his ideas on the participants. He asks leading questions instead of letting the person talk and talks over them. A real therapist would not do that. I think he’s a psychotherapist now, but he had zero qualifications at the time this show taped to be giving people psychological advice. Every time he talks I cringe.

Lizzie Arthur Not me.

Nope

Yes someone designed the cup, the coffee is still just beans and water whatever the cup ! Starmucks=biggest swindle ever !!

I will do from now on haha

No it's not if you can afford to spend £4 five times a day but to most normal people yes this is very much designer coffee.

In the time this was filmed online banking was not really a thing so you only saw your statements at the end of the month when you got the letter from the bank

@@celinejenni4140 Actually, I don't know when this episode was filmed, but the series didn't start until 2005. Online banking was really well established by that point.

That only works if you bother to check your online accounts on a regular basis. People that have issues with spending don't do that. It's easier to bury their heads in the sand and pretend everything will be fine. If they don't have access to the cards, but instead have a limited amount if physical cash, then they can see that amount dwindling and it might make them think twice

Not everyone is as OCD as you!;)

@alltheprettypurses I don’t believe the difference between credit cards vs cash is tracking. I think there is something psychological about physically handing over cash because it makes the transaction more real, if that makes sense? With a credit card, you are paying any and every amount with the same card. With cash, you have to count it out, make sure you have enough, you start to think if the item is worth the money in your hand, and if you actually need it.

Or is it the era after skinny jeans...lol the concept of tight pants has cycled since the 1800s for men and early 1910s for woman. Skinny jeans have been a thing in the 80s and 90s as well for both, depending on where you lived, and when fashion week is a motivator.

Full episode uploaded every Saturday, until then check out the Full Episode Playlist: ru-vid.com/group/PLmnDlPe430RLy8Gj3Ob2MxE8C1E8WC6HW

I think it should be made clear that this show was from 15 YEARS AGO. A lot of things have changed over that time period. This means some "suggestions" need to be taken with a big pinch of salt, while some of these are probably obsolete.

Any personal finance expert will tell you consolidation loans rarely work, as people just run up their credit card bills again and end up in twice as much debt, that's why banks invented those loans, to help themselves to more of your money.

IamGilgamesh666 the psychologist is extremely talented and knows what he’s talking about. I work in a disability claims team and our psychologists do a very similar thing , helping getting severely depressed , injured and ill patients back into daily functional life. He starts the journey but eveyone needs to take responsibility for saving themselves - their own journey and reflection.

@@munhl > consolidation loans rarely work, as people just run up their credit card bills again and end up in twice as much debt. Truth! Watching debt do us part, anytime the couple got a consolidation loan, they never cancelled the credit cards and just maxed them out again.

@@notthatcreativewithnames the big one was the segment about her salary meaning she could eventually buy a flat for £260k. In London! With a garden!

Sharon H This was filmed like, 15 years ago. I hope she got her house! It would be great if the people on the show could look it up and leave a comment about how things turned out😩

I love fresh beans