I Struggle Making Friends With Other Women

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On today’s show, we hear about:
- A man unsure of how to navigate a friendship with his sister’s ex-husband
- A woman unable to form close, trusting relationships with other women
- A racially mixed adoptee struggling with her ethnic identity
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The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
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3 май 2023

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Комментарии : 84

@ForAncientKingAndElvishLord Год назад

I struggle with this, too. Sometimes, I feel like I'm a burden or they don't like me, and sometimes I just wanna be alone, and mostly, I can't trust them.

@user-hl3hb3vz9b Год назад

Me too! Being Lonely is abysmal, but feeling the effects of disloyalty, disinterest, and disingenuousness from so called friends/family can hurt even more.

@Mila808g 4 месяца назад

Honey it's not you!! You just haven't come across the right folks yet to become your friends!! You sound really lovely. I'd hang out with you if we lived in the same area!! Keep your chin up!! You got this

@bm4551 Год назад

As a woman I can say we can be very jealous and insecure beings. It is awful how we tear other women down instead of being supportive of each other.

@E_l_l_i_e Год назад

This is true. I have a number of female friends and I get along well with them. But our conversations tend to be more superficial. I notice that it's easier for me to trust men. I feel that there's less judgment and risk of backstabbing/ betrayal.

@blahblahblah4544 Год назад

Yeah. Any times there's gossip. I'm out :(

@sweetstorm7652 Год назад

I have no friends for the past 15 years, it’s the happiest I have been. Acquaintances are easy to find but real friendships take way too much energy 😅

@msakeeba Год назад

Loving, supportive friendships are gold. They are safe spaces to truly be vulnerable and open and honest. Acquaintances are no where near as rewarding.

@greggs2240 Год назад

This situation is true for men, too. I had a similar childhood, and my life completely changed for the better when I was eventually able to be vulnerable and open up to other men. I now have people open up to me when they're struggling, because they don't see me as a threat. Walling off your vulnerability can make you seem distant and unapproachable. Dr. D nailed this one, IMHO.

@BrendaBaBoom Год назад

I don’t go too deep with folk. I keep it friendly, respectful, lively and toss in some superficial humor here and there 😀

@LisaLisaCJ Год назад

I have issues with women. Because my first betrayal was from my mother. And it seems like I keep attracting those same types of women. My mother in another persons body

@9liveslisa Год назад

I have difficulty having women friends too. I've found most women are into power trips and it irritates the hell out of me. I march to my own drummer and I guess I just don't play well in the sandbox. I accept that about myself and march on. I have a few female friends and they know me and accept me as I am and we are able to support each other. I've been this way all my life not being a social butterfly and acceptance is key. Love yourself and don't change for other people.

@genna_analog Год назад

Yup competing is what most woman do. I have no desire to one up everyone. So the mean one's try to dominate over me because I don't respond spiteful. "That is good for you. Or that great, I wish you the best". Is all your gonna get when once I spot the nature.. then they become bored, when they realize i am not biting back and move on to someone that will endure their wretchedness. And i have my peace. "Get back thee, slithering one!" 😅😊

@Carolina480 Год назад

Yes it’s all competitive and jelious among women all the time comparing it’s difficult I don’t have women friends I’m better off alone than fake hipócrite jelious competition women nowadays it’s difficult and be care they will use yu

@Carolina480 Год назад

@@SarahConnor562 yes right they like drama , gossip or they are the users who pretend to be yuor friends but no it’s convenient for them I don’t have friends I happy alone I can tell all the horrible things women done to me I’m more be careful and stay away from women with drama and negative feelings ect etc

@user-hl3hb3vz9b Год назад

@@SarahConnor562 lucky you 😢😮‍💨

@murraybeachtel8585 Год назад

Happy this call was taken because this woman’s experience is very common and hard to put into words.

@kcourtney6826 Год назад

Good advice. It’s hard to have meaningful relationships when you’re afraid to be vulnerable, you end up with acquaintances or surface level relationships

@jehannedufresne3998 Год назад

To this lady caller, tell the potential friends you trust "hey, I was raised by a narcissistic mom. If ya see me acting weird when it comes to vulnerability, please don't mind me". Ppl nowadays are more aware of narcissism and that it's a thing, and there have been a lot of victims. So, your friends will be able to understand.

@Tristum1970 Год назад

This is more common than you might think. Altho not always because of a Narcissistic mom. Women can be very cliquish even as adults .

@GaSoundwaves Год назад

I can relate so much to this call. I have trouble making friends with women. And have only really made one since I've moved. And I constantly feel as though there is something different about me. I always feel as though I'm being overlooked.

@janae09 Год назад

“I constantly feel as though there is something different about me.” I can definitely relate to that. Idk what it is though. Maybe it’s many things.

@GaSoundwaves Год назад

@@janae09 It often makes me feel like I'm the weird one. But maybe that's a good thing. Many of the friends I made, I realized were never that good.

@TheEquiss Год назад

Yep me too. Not into clothes, make up or wine. Not into girly stuff

@Petruskinhap972 Год назад

Just wanted to send hugs to this caller. So relatable. You’re so close to a breakthrough because you have so much insight. I would love to be friends with someone like you. ❤

@JustinCase780 Год назад

Southern California can be a very difficult place for women to make friends. Hopefully some activities, club, etc. beyond a support group would really be beneficial.

@Mrs.TJTaylor Год назад

Agree, mutual interests and projects and things to do together. . .

@BrendaBaBoom Год назад

🎯🎯🎯

@mmp495 Год назад

I have a hard time being vulnerable and trusting others too. It can be discouraging and lonely. She can be my friend 😊

@Ivy285 Год назад

I have trouble too. People keep commenting that I'm a particularly attractive woman and I think other women must feel insecure around me in some way because they don't react well to me initially...even when I have said absolutely nothing. It's lonely.

@blahblahblah4544 Год назад

Hey, I've been through hot problems too. I hear ya girl! You're not alone. Especially women's spouses, they ruin it for everyone when they get all weird in you? Ya know?

@Ivy285 Год назад

@blah blahblah Yes I do know sadly!

@blahblahblah4544 Год назад

@@Ivy285 I've been on the opposite side too :/ The sad and jealous side. The best way to avoid pain from all of it is to love ourselves in a healthy, unselfish, respectful way and to keep showing love regardless. It ain't love that hurts it's pride. And for me, I pray to Jesus because Jesus is the only constant in my life. My best friend.

@Anangelfromabove Год назад

I know for me it’s linked back to trauma with my mother. Made me develop patterns of thought, behavior and emotions that made me feel more inferior to women. Very difficult for me when I was on the thick of it. You have to liberate trauma from the body and rewire the brain through effort and consistency. Every issue you ever have is usually always linked to a belief that keeps you from getting what you want in life. It starts with changing your core beliefs.

@alluringbliss4165 Год назад

I always had bad social skills, am a loner and can’t make friends

@Skelly777able Год назад

Me too, I'm at a point in my life where I am praying to Jesus Christ for supernatural help. He is a free gift for all. If it works, I'll update...

@JewelBlueIbanez Год назад

Look up autism spectrum disorder in adult women. This is the story of. My life

@coolstuffaboutlife Год назад

I can be your friend if you want. I suck at making friends though

@eleanor4759 Год назад

Just remember, change is the only constant. There is no static 'you' because of neuroplasticity. Perhaps, check out nervous system regulation (Irene Lyon is great). I believe this is the new paradigm shift in mental health and healthcare in general 💚

@jonslife Год назад

COVID really messed up real life social lifestyle

@JustinCase780 Год назад

And, southern California was already a tough place for women to make friends.

@colonkrapperdick3939 Год назад

@@SarahConnor562 My boy Ronnie

@lot2196 Год назад

Most adults don't have many friends. It's usually family connections.

@Bunny11344 11 месяцев назад

That’s terrible I can’t stand other ppls families … small doses are fine even then

@genna_analog Год назад

Don't be so hard on yourselves. I pray that this woman heals her heart. Most importantly, her children need her. I hope she realizes that if her mom is as difficult as she mentions that she will not get what she is wanting from the mother.

@jennteal5265 Год назад

I struggle connecting with people as well. I'm a bit eccentric and not most other people's cup of tea. We can be friendly and acquaintances, but it rarely goes deeper. I have a few friends but the closest one is 6 hours away. It's just how it is. Kind of sucks but modern times suck.

@kimryan2675 Год назад

I’ve had friends it seemed I was the one doing all the connecting ,became a bit trying so I stopped calling and arranging meet ups and I didn’t hear from them again. I have also meet women who say the can’t make friends ,I give them my number and say give me a call Love to catch up with you, didn’t hear from them.

@kimberlysmith7625 Год назад

Same here. I'm the "camp counselor" in my group of gal pals. I do the reaching out and making plans. We have a blast when I get everyone together. I've let months go by to see if anyone else might make the effort and it never happens. It's so bizarre.

@plywood7894 5 дней назад

My mom friend didn’t text me back the entire winter! Later I found out she gets seasonal depression and her work gets crazy busy at the end of winter. We hang out again :)

@Carolina480 Год назад

I feel for her I also have a hard time making friends with women I was raised by narcissist mother and brothers who made life hell it took me years to heal from it and forgive my mom and it’s cause trauma in me and emotionally pain I still can’t make friends with women but because it’s jelious and competition with women especially making friends as an adult it’s not easy she’s not the problem it’s her mom emotionally abuse not letting her heal completely and move on she need a good therapist and pray to god to heal and forgive I will pray for her if yu ever see this yu have a friend here I’m in Los Ángeles area it’s not yu the problem yu need learn how to love your self first and most important before yu expect love or acceptance from others that why yu want to make and keep so called friends believe this others sense yuor need and desperate need I been there I understand I been rejected many times until I understood I need to love me first and don’t expect love and approval from others

@eleanor4759 Год назад

I believe so deeply in restoring nervous system regulation, much moreso than I do in the narrative driven psychology which is currently the mainstream. I think it will be the greatest shift in health in general, but especially in what we call 'mental' health (which is very much physical)

@thestrongmermaid Год назад

If the caller reads the comments and sees mine. I want you to know i can relate to you. I dont live in your city at all. But, i would love to connect with you. I can hear that you are a kind and caring person and I think we would get along well.

@thetruth5635 Год назад

I’m 30, soon to be 31, no kids . All my friends not all but a lot are married with kids in relationships or moved to another city .. I’m in nyc but think I need change want to move to another city and see what’s up!! Dr John is amazing

@justanothermaid Год назад

Trust is based off of a growth transition for a lot of females. You trade secrets, gossip, private information to build a bond. Without being able to discern who to trust with your vulnerabilities its reasonable to have challenges. Gotta trust yourself. ❤

@reneeantwi-boasiako3974 16 дней назад

@06:30 "The way you're talking to yourself, that's your mum's words coming of out your mouth" Dr John 🥹😭

@mbaylee1974 Год назад

Jumping sounds terrifying! 😢

@TheEquiss Год назад

I don’t get along with other women because I’m not into make up, fancy clothes or drinking wine. I share no interests with women. I’d rather work with my dogs, go horseback riding, hiking, kayaking or outdoor stuff.

@devchonka18 Год назад

I was raised by a narcissistic mom too. I feel the caller 😢 my whole life its been so hard to make friends.

@rebeccaoprea9917 Год назад

When people struggle , they’re thinking of themselves, not you .

@TheHungarianchick Год назад

I struggle with this too. I moved to the United States 25 years ago and I have been able to find true friends. I’m still friends with people I went to school with in my home country.

@kekejefferson9219 Год назад

Try surface friends first before you go deep. Try church small groups for women with kids that hangout once a month or some type of organization.

@sunnybeach103 Год назад

I get continually ignored by "friends" and "family" I gave up trying. I can't make a friend to save my life...

@sarrahconley3923 Год назад

idk some ppl just don't mesh. I find that finding hobbies we are all interested in really helps.

@pipperlue Год назад

I would be friends with her. I think he’s right that she’s right on the edge of developing a deep friendship

@Dreamingbigbudgets Год назад

Basically she doesn't get involved with the drama and other women flock and do just that women together can be nice or mean general they just want you to agree with them but you tell a woman you disagree with certain situations they will cut you off.

@Skelly777able Год назад

He's good at defining the problem, not so good at overcoming it. I don't think Dr John has been through much trauma tbh...

@alexisjankowski3281 Год назад

Hopefully those calling in can use that definition to guide their next steps, which may be more counseling.

@jameshumpherys8834 Год назад

I wouldn't expect these problems to be overcome in a ten minute phone call. I don't think that's his intent.

@moondog7694 Год назад

He has admitted to having borderline personality disorder in one of his videos. He has big tattoos on his upper arm. How much more evidence do you need that he's had trauma?

@vivianworden2706 Год назад

Maybe the environment is filled with people who recreate the wound this woman feels. I say. Don't join groups for the sake of friendship. Join groups for things you like to do, then build from there.

@LisaLisaCJ Год назад

@@vivianworden2706 I’ve done the groups for friendship and it was a disaster every time

@amare83 Год назад

❤

@Carolina480 Год назад

Look nowadays it’s difficult to make good friends real good friends yu are not alone I’m there too I wish yu can see this I can talk more to yu about it’s not yu it’s has to do with yuor narcissist mom the trauma she created emotionally yu crave acceptance ,approval , love ect ect ect yu are awesome yu need heal first and love you self yu need read book of self love self esteem self respect self worth read or listen to videos to start yuor healing process I can be Your friend if yu like god blessings 💐🌹🌹❤️❤️❤️