I Told My Parents I’ve Been in College (But I Lied)

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I Told My Parents I’ve Been in College (But I Lied)
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30 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 242

@gbear34 6 месяцев назад

If he has a good job that he likes, he's stable financially and he didn't take on a massive pile of student loan debt.... he's winning.

@j.t.1086 6 месяцев назад

^ This. He's actually in a good situation, his only issue is to come clean on the lie.

@raraavis7782 6 месяцев назад

Jupp. Aside from the lie itself, he did nothing wrong. He made a sensible decision (which should have been his in the first place) and it worked out well for him. And it wasn't a malicious lie. He needs to ask forgiveness, sure. But only for the lying, not for the decision itself.

@instahamx684 6 месяцев назад

Exactly, he is winning. He knew college was a waste of his time.

@tracyotrhuiskamp1012 6 месяцев назад

U R doing great. I am Canadian as well and trust me so many people i know went to University , paid a fortune, and r working at Shoppers Drug mart or other low paying jobs

@p.g.2035 6 месяцев назад

He is not winning. 5 years lying? Sydney Powell, chandler Halderson, etc. So many cases like this don't end well.

@Kittycakes22 6 месяцев назад

Parents need to stop forcing their kids into careers they don’t want.

@stuff1784 6 месяцев назад

SERIOUSLY!!!

@MsDB1990 6 месяцев назад

Also be open to them changing their mind.

@semosancus5506 6 месяцев назад

I can't say for sure, but he sounds Asian. Asian parents won't go for a non degreed child. Phd minimum for the most part, but no undergraduate degree at all? Could be a tough row for him.

@whitneygaro8427 6 месяцев назад

Agree! I failed out (on purpose) because I was too afraid to tell my parents that I changed my mind. I knew if I was honest they would guilt me into staying but if I "couldn't" do it I had an out.... My kids will not experience that!

@cutthechicken194 6 месяцев назад

It's the culture. Some parents believe whole heartedly, they are doing the right thing.

@whitneawonka9264 6 месяцев назад

David if you're reading this: I did the same thing. Then my dad died before I came clean and it's a huge regret. Til the end of his life there was this curtain between us that only I knew about and we could never be truly real with each other. Don't be me.

@shamailaahmad211 6 месяцев назад

❤ if I may suggest, if that's allright? : please go gently on yourself, parents never want their children to feel regret - and feeling regret shows a good person acknowledges a lesson learnt - hold onto the lesson perhaps yes, though let go of the poison of regret

@adrianmechelle3784 6 месяцев назад

@@shamailaahmad211 this is a beautiful response.

@rachelgooden9981 6 месяцев назад

Big hugs

@talyahr3302 5 месяцев назад

I think your regret should not be about not telling him, but insteas that he couldn't be fully proud of you. As a lesbian with homophobic parents I live a lie everyday, and I don't regret it because if I didn't lie I would be in a very unsafe situation (even though I live on my own and pay my own rent). If my parents passed before I told them (I told them previously and they reacted violently so I just went back in the closet with them), then I'd just feel relief. I don't feel bad about lying at all. They love me, but will never be able to love me fully when they don't know me fully but I'm alright with that for now. I want to move to a different area before telling them again so they can not have my new address.

@mewgiah8057 5 месяцев назад

I feel empathy for this kid because his parents were forcing him into a life he didn't want to live. When he tried to talk to them they immediately shut him down and started guilting him. The dude has a high-paying job, a career with prospects - and he even has his own place. He's taking care of himself. That's better than most kids out of the college with major degrees. He shouldn't have to feel this shame.

@nychris2258 3 месяца назад

All people are forced into life by their parents.

@littlemissprickles 6 месяцев назад

Just tell them! Ive heard so many cases where a man has murdered his parents because he lied about going to school and wanted to keep freeloading. This guy is working, earning his way, and has his own place. Its not cool to lie, but damn being successfully independent isn't something worth lying about.

@jadedqueen3619 6 месяцев назад

There is the recent case of the girl who murdered her mum before she could find out the daughter had been kicked out of University.

@sidology1.0 6 месяцев назад

Came here to leave your exact comment. To hold onto a lie like that for 5 years is psychopathic though

@debfox 6 месяцев назад

There’s also one where the husband murdered his wife. His name is Mark Hacking. It was so sad. She was even pregnant too.

@c_m-y3117 6 месяцев назад

Chandler Halderson

@laurenecarter246 6 месяцев назад

I came to write this very thing. There has been a handful of kids killing their parents due to this very thing. I'm glad he rang Dr John instead.

@buttcheeksmcgee4272 6 месяцев назад

This is a big time cultural thing. Lots of Asian, Nigerian, and Indian parents are notorious for treating their children as their retirement plans.

@texasdazzlers 6 месяцев назад

I get “I was raised in an explosive and dysfunctional family so I’ve always just tried to stay out of the way to not make waves” vibes from this kid. I can relate. Only problem is he’s now becoming an adult who can make his own choices without fear or what his family thinks. Some people never reach that level of autonomy and stay under their family’s thumb forever. I’m rooting for him that he can become his own person.

@kristinaolson77 6 месяцев назад

My brother did this too, and we come from a dysfunctional family. Only problem is, I got away. My brother's still under their thumb at 41 waiting for them to die to get the inheritance.

@texasdazzlers 6 месяцев назад

@@kristinaolson77 That’s too bad. All three of us got out. We don’t have great relationships with our parents or each other unfortunately, but there were only a few ways out of the madness, and we all took different directions. Oddly enough, we are all happily married to our spouses and have close friends that have become like family.

@kristinaolson77 6 месяцев назад

@@texasdazzlers Dr. Henry Cloud always says you may not be able to pick your blood family, but you do get to pick your Christian family. I love my new family, and they love me.

@justinxiao9098 6 месяцев назад

This way of thinking is the majority prevalent thing for immigrant parents.

@AlphaAchilles 5 месяцев назад

Vibes

@ruthirwin8222 6 месяцев назад

I hope this lovely guy is ok and his mum and dad understand him

@chrissyellem7397 6 месяцев назад

My father forced me to go to a certain college and graduate with a degree I never wanted. For 35 years I have been resentful of the life I COULD HAVE HAD if I stuck to my guns and done my career and life the way I WANTED TO. Don't be me. Stand up to your parents and let them know you are a responsible adult and that this is MY LIFE. If they get mad or upset so be it. It's YOUR LIFE not theirs. Their dreams died and you as their child don't need to live their life for them. Live YOUR FUTURE.

@kristinaolson77 6 месяцев назад

Mine did too. But then I became a SAHM. My parents were very disappointed. I have since gone NC because they can't respect or honor my boundaries.

@chrissyellem7397 6 месяцев назад

Aww I hope you are doing well. @@kristinaolson77

@Dontrolling 5 месяцев назад

Tragic

@angelicadelashmette803 5 месяцев назад

How does a parent force an adult to do something? Most folks are 18+ right? Idk I guess I don’t get it.

@chrissyellem7397 5 месяцев назад

I'm glad you haven't had to suffer like that. I was actually 17 when I started college. This was back in the 80's. My parents were super strict. All I can say is minority families have a different way of thinking.@@angelicadelashmette803

@lwscijunkie 6 месяцев назад

I wish I could give this fine young man a hug and tell him that he's AMAZING. He's made his own successful path without any money or even emotional support from his parents. Get this five-year weight off of your shoulders and go forward with pride in who you are and what you've accomplished.

@snowdogmula 6 месяцев назад

You made a wise decision to not become a doctor. No student loans, no being in school for half your life, and less stress in life. Good job for not giving in to your parents' "dream" of being a doctor for them. Same thing happened to me where my parents wanted me to become a doctor and I finally told them, my senior year of college (after taking the mcat) that I'm not interested in doing that. They obviously didn't like hearing that, but I'm glad I stood up for myself and pursued my own interests.

@chrissyellem7397 6 месяцев назад

Good for you. Wish I could turn back time and stand up to my parents that way. I've wasted 50 years of my life being unhappy and resentful because I never did things MY way.

@Jedi12789 6 месяцев назад

I keep saying college ain’t for everyone. Although college can be a great thing though for a person. I always tell people the doors are always open and it’s never too late to go back. Just my two cents.

@deb9806 6 месяцев назад

But how did they think he was paying for it? Large loans? He never talked about it, had college memorabilia. I don't think I helicopter mom but I knew where the kids were.

@NnekaIk90 6 месяцев назад

I have tears in my eyes listening to this caller because I am in a similar situation… My nigerian parents wanted me to go to Medical School as well… They have guilted me in every possible way to apply after my Undergrad. But I said No. Sometimes, they would even call me “dumb” for not wanting to try… Because of this, I have stopped talking about it. Every time they would bring it up, I just don’t say anything. I have a good job in Tech and don’t depend on my parents. But them talking down on me makes me feel depressed.

@raquelreyes7334 6 месяцев назад

Anna Runkle's RU-vid Channel The Crappy Childhood Fairy is excellent for healing people in your sitaution.

@jareya 6 месяцев назад

Well done for standing your ground and refusing to dance to their tune. As an independent adult you don’t have to put up with their denigration at the expense of your mental health and well-being - at some point you can tell them that it’s either they stop the constant putdowns or get used to not seeing or hearing from you much. It’s sooo hard to have these conversations with our parents (I’m Nigerian too so I understand) but it’s possible. I wish you all the best.

@TheRealHerbaSchmurba 6 месяцев назад

I have nigerian parents and have always had the fear of going against their wishes. My dad is understanding but at the same time still unknowingly a bit controlling. As a young kid it was way worse but he toned down over the years. Sorry for your situation because Nigerian parents can be insufferable sometimes.

@chocovanille5809 6 месяцев назад

They wanted you to go to med school so they have bragging points. Glad you persevered into your dream career

@poofbegonenow 6 месяцев назад

I went through the same thing! What is this obsession with Nigerian parents wanting their kids to be doctors? As if there aren't other respectable careers out there. 🙄 Bravo for staying true to yourself! Stay strong.. they'll eventually back off when they see that you're prospering in your field. Believe it or not, they'll even start bragging about you.

@spcvonhamm8857 6 месяцев назад

It’s a reminder to all of us as parents, tune in to your kids. This is such a common issue 😔

@tweetscotchy1093 6 месяцев назад

As a Mom, this caller is adorable! Coming clean will not be as big a deal as you fear. Lean into the fear and just be honest that you have a job and like it. They need to let go of you so you can make your own choices and live your own life. Their responses are not your problem. Love them enough to be honest.

@angryox3102 6 месяцев назад

5 years is wild though. That is a lot of lying.

@bettysmith4527 6 месяцев назад

Mmm, I think judging by his accent there is a cultural factor in play here, so it may not go as easy as you think.

@murdahmammiez 6 месяцев назад

His accent?? Thats a canadian accent lol he is from vancouver n is named David. @@bettysmith4527

@jareya 6 месяцев назад

@@bettysmith4527Regardless of their reaction he needs to tell the truth - even for the sake of his own health and wellbeing.

@bettysmith4527 6 месяцев назад

Uh, I never said he shouldn't.... @@jareya

@standground8284 6 месяцев назад

*I feel bad for this caller.* I couldn’t imagine being born into a household where I couldn’t keep it a buck and be honest about what I’m doing. If they’re going to be judgmental or guilt trip you, that’s their problem, not yours. Yes, I’m content with being the black sheep, the wayward child to parents of that caliber!

@straight.no.chaser1708 6 месяцев назад

You are lucky not to know how that feels

@MaddieFishblob 6 месяцев назад

At first I thought this was gonna be someone blowing the tuition money his parents gave him on Doritos and video games for 5 yrs. But if he found a stable career that he enjoys, freaking good on him! Its even better that he didnt blow hundreds of thousands on college-he’s walking into adulthood school-debt free. Sucks that his parents are determined to make him a doctor-I hope they take the news ok

@pinkfairydust83 6 месяцев назад

I really feel for this boy. How sad that his parents haven't provided an environment for him to be himself, follow his dreams and be honest about his life and choices.

@lisalister8002 6 месяцев назад

Best of luck to this caller... This is a very big step towards adulthood. Having a plan to deal with this is always peaceful to the soul.

@CR0WYT 6 месяцев назад

I honestly don't blame him. Some parents can be brutal when you don't take the path they wanted you to take, especially if they come from a rough childhood or some third-world country where they didn't have the same opportunities as their kids did. Sure I have a better chance at working for NASA and changing the world compared to where they came from, but it doesn't mean I have the capacity or desire to do so. And sometimes the parents are already doing so well that their kids living their fantasy of doing better than them is physically impossible unless they become some big shot celebrity (which is also impossible if they're already a big shot celebrity themselves).

@eliwilson3902 6 месяцев назад

You know honestly it wasn't as hard for me to not go back to school as I had thought. I was never the best student so as much as my parents wanted me to stay in school, I think they both realized pretty quickly on it wasn't for me so there was really no grudge when I didn't go back. Don't get me wrong, I don't like being the only kid of two college educated parents to not finish college, I would have loved a degree but I'm not entirely convinced it would have really benefited me that much anyway. I value the experience I got in the workforce for free a lot more than a degree I probably wouldn't have put to use in a field I don't want to work in.

@mandarue5104 6 месяцев назад

David, if you're reading this I just want to let you know you're killing it. Going to college doesn't make you smarter or less smart than anyone else. It sounds like you have a good thing going for you. I also want to say I'm proud of you for calling and putting an end to the lies. You got this!

@Charlies1970TA 6 месяцев назад

I love how you prepare the father for a Hard Conversation. Such a good idea.

@NeoSoulCrew 6 месяцев назад

Its sad when parents try to live their career aspirations through their children.

@cutthechicken194 6 месяцев назад

It's the culture. Some parents believe whole heartedly, they are doing the right thing.

@SnowFoxParty 6 месяцев назад

Or their religious views through their kids

@Dontrolling 5 месяцев назад

Also their financial aspirations, people don’t talk about that part. Way more common, way too selfish and such a driving factor in crappy relationships with their children.

@nicrules77 6 месяцев назад

a lot of desi or african parents can do that, very interesting call best of luck to this man. i have a lot of friends who have gone thru this mental stress

@NatalieF-un5vb 6 месяцев назад

I have that book! I'm journaling along with it. It's small, but heavy. In a good way.

@EverElia 6 месяцев назад

Definitely a cultural issue. There’s many cultures and familial households who expect their children to go into prestigious fields (which are great for financial stability and job security) but don’t resonate with their child.

@dahliacheung6020 2 месяца назад

This is so sad. I really feel for this kid. I remember back before my dad went and got therapy and did a 180 turn around I was so terrified to tell him anything because his disappointment was a millstone weighing on me and his words were abusive. So my sexual assault, my almost decade long engagement, my changing what I studied in university, several jobs, two miscarriages and a 20 year drug addiction had to be swathed in half-truths and lies. I'm normally a very honest, open person but I could not be with him and it nearly killed me. I know how this guy feels having felt like he had to lie about school, career choice, all of that to not disappoint his parents because sometimes parents make disappointment so much more than that.

@sydguitar99 6 месяцев назад

It is sad how as children we have to become our parents emotional support animal

@cutthechicken194 6 месяцев назад

It's the culture. Some parents believe whole heartedly, they are doing the right thing.

@thedirtbag7 6 месяцев назад

I had a similar long term lie that I had to come clean with. I was in college and smoking pot for years and keeping it from my family. It was a big part of my life and it felt like I was living a double life. No overt lies, just a tedious filter needed for family that resulted in more distance. My advice: telling the truth is the most freeing feeling. Your family will quickly learn to respect you for your courage.

@RepentImmediately 6 месяцев назад

Everyone I know smokes pot and it's really no one's business. I smoked for 25 years. I was high while writing all my A papers in grad school. My mother, on the other hand, smoked crack which is a different matter.

@cw5948 6 месяцев назад

An important detail is have the parents been giving him money for school? If not, the parents can’t really be too angry; it’s their child’s right to choose what they do.

@lifestylehomestead 6 месяцев назад

I wondered that too.

@aretwothetoo7758 6 месяцев назад

In the beginning, he said he hadn't been taking from them

@GameChanger597 6 месяцев назад

I really appreciate Dr John taking this call seriously and not making light of it with his usual jokes.

@PapaBearDuverge 6 месяцев назад

Welcome to adulthood. These are the hardest conversations you'll ever have. Having the tough conversations about what you want and not what your parents wanted for you. You're on the right path.

@yaya14every81 6 месяцев назад

Just do it. Just tell your parents. Great job taking care of yourself in Vancouver! Not everyone CAN become a doctor.

@pcdude2394 6 месяцев назад

I am East Asian and this kid’s story sounds like he has Asian parents. Asian parents like to guilt trip their children into a career that think it’s suitable for them . What he did isn’t selfish because he was trying to make his parents happy out of guilt. I think his father will forgive him, but not without long lecture . My friend’s cousin committed suicide when she was in college because her parents wanted her to be a doctor. She was afraid to fail her parents by not being able to become a doctor. Good thing this kid found hospital passion and didn’t commit suicide

@robdenker5805 6 месяцев назад

Dr D is spot on. Brilliant role play!

@randomguy17399 6 месяцев назад

Naw calling Vancouver “Northern Oklahoma” is a disrespect 😂💀

@jadedqueen3619 6 месяцев назад

True, Vancouver is not anywhere similar to Oklahoma. Show some respect, lol!!

@Chet_24 6 месяцев назад

Disrespectful to Oklahoma big time

@blabbinglobster 6 месяцев назад

@@Chet_24 Have you ever been to Vancouver? Didn't think so. It's one of the most sophisticated - and respected - cities in the world. Go back to sleep.

@Trudloops 6 месяцев назад

I feel sorry for this young man. I hope he tells the truth and that he gets to have a real relationship with his dad. But I know that he will be able to hold his head high after telling the truth.

@rescue4lifeAB 6 месяцев назад

This sounds like a cultural issue problem. I grew up with these expectations too and wasted 20 years in a career (engineering) that I hated. What's sad is that Being an engineer wasn't good enough - my mother expected me to be a doctor. TBH...the parents prob care more about their image vs. His safety. 😢😢

@9liveslisa 6 месяцев назад

I wouldn't even know how to lie for 5 years when my parents are probably paying for college. What about the money? What about the grades? I think my father would have kicked me to the moon if I did that. He must be very good at lying. Yeah, he needs to quit carrying all that around and come clean. His parents will get over this transgression. Life marches on whether we want it to or not. Lying is never a good way to run one's life. Keep looking forward and march on.

@RepentImmediately 6 месяцев назад

His parents aren't paying for college. Also, adults who are taking classes don't typically show their parents their report card.

@9liveslisa 6 месяцев назад

@@RepentImmediately Well, if they didn't pay for his education that should soften the blow a bit. They'll just lose bragging rights because he is not becoming a doctor.

@robzzzzzz1 6 месяцев назад

If this caller is from any strict background such as Asian Indian African etc. this discussion will not go well He can more than likely prepare to be disowned Gaslit blamed or guilted Sorry to say but in those cultures nine times out of 10 children are born to Do whatever their parents say If they don’t do it there’s no love everything is transactional In most cases the parents would most likely Want you to do what they want then for you to be truly happy that’s just a little way it is

@michaelh2282 6 месяцев назад

Definitely. Most American listeners have absolutely no idea how powerful the family pressure is. I have an Indian friend who dated a good hardworking American whom she loved for years and their parents forced them to break up and marry a man their parents picked for her even though she was in the US and their parents were overseas. In many Asian/Indian/African immigrant families, the personal desires of each family member are irrelevant. The "duty" of each member of the family is to do actions that will benefit the family unit and not necessarily yourself. So even if you hate being a doctor or hate the guy your parents force on you, you're supposed to do it anyway because your parents believe it'll benefit the overall family rather than follow your "selfish" choices.

@daniellem8790 6 месяцев назад

I was thinking this! Sounds very similar to an Asian culture family!

@jurikowhy359 6 месяцев назад

This seems more like a cultural issue, which can be more complicated than just being honest with his parents. He can be completely disowned by the entire family for not going along with his parent’s whims.

@RepentImmediately 6 месяцев назад

If that's the culture, better for him to be disowned.

@michaelh2282 6 месяцев назад

@@RepentImmediatelythat's easy for you to say. And immigrant families usually have much tighter bonds than most American families so the pressure to obey parents and the potential damage from being thrown out of the family is far worse.

@jareya 6 месяцев назад

@@michaelh2282Regardless of the consequence, living a lie isn’t the answer. It will ultimately damage him in ways he may not be able to recover from. Telling the truth may lead to tough consequences but it’s still much better for his overall health.

@RepentImmediately 6 месяцев назад

@@michaelh2282as someone who cut ties with all of my family, it's very easy for me to say and it's extremely freeing to be free of fake relationships with people who don't actually care about me. What's the point of a tight bond if it's totally conditional? I've never been a tribal person and I've had to be strong and self-reliant my entire life; this young man is also capable of independence. But he has to choose to be strong instead of being dependent.

@ericjennings6267 6 месяцев назад

I understand this guys dilemma i am 56 in the 80s my entire family cousins everybody was told that a university education was the only way to go otherwise you would be a bum or a garbage man. Also the high school teachers push it. I became an auto mechanic been doing it for 33 years been doing great never went to university

@tritosac 6 месяцев назад

I am 48. My parents pushed hard for me to go to an IVY league school. We visited many during Summer before my junior year in high school. It was all about the PRESTIGE with them. My Dad was a doctor. I use to argue a lot with everyone. So they wanted me to go to law school. Well my Mom helped me with applications to all the big Ivy League schools. One even visited us at our home. Ultimately my SAT & grades just weren't enough. I actually wanted to go into the military. All the inventory tests I took indicated I would be best suited for a military career. I didn't want to upset my parents. Got accepted to SMU. Got a crappy psychology degree. Here I am at 48 after having a failed career in collections and a failed business on my own not knowing what to do with the rest of my life. My parents were too over protective & were too concerned with IMAGE. But I am not the suit & tie kind of person. I hate dressing up. Four years of catholic high school wearing a tie everyday created a lasting aversion to suit & ties. My parents should have encouraged me to either do a trade school or the military. Some people are just suited for things different than their parents imagine. Kids need to learn PRACTICAL skills to make money. College is a colossal waste of time. It's good for getting drunk at frat parties & screwing around. Maybe you might make connections that last. I didn't. Here I am. A failure at 48.

@murdahmammiez 6 месяцев назад

@@tritosacur not a failure and its never to late to go learn à trade

@Ryan-wx1bi 6 месяцев назад

Funny part is garbage men make more than a lot of college graduates these days

@Jedi12789 6 месяцев назад

@@tritosacyou said this best: college is all about making connections but that’s a hard thing to do bc everybody is jockeying for that top position. I went to a smaller school for athletics and to become a teacher. One summer break I got a job working construction: hanging vinyl siding, small repairs, shutters, etc. It paid well and I enjoyed the work honestly. It was rewarding. I even thought hard about transferring to another state school to study construction management. I didn’t do it. I stayed got injured from athletics. Graduated. Got a job teaching. Been doing it 15 years. Sometimes I regret not transferring. All I’m saying is we all have regrets. One thing I’ve learned that I might have to do myself is it’s never too late to retrain for another career through college or another avenue. I actually think at the speed the economy is moving most of us will have to retrain at some point in our adult lives. It is just how it is.

@beverlyquinn9036 6 месяцев назад

I feel badly for him, but he chose what he wanted in life. Parents have to understand that you give life to the childten you bear. It is not the parents' life. Ofcourse, they want the best for him, but that is not his best path. People need to let go.

@TruckDriver2005 5 месяцев назад

I'd be more upset that my child lied to me for five years than they're not going to college. If they had a job where they could work and support themselves without a college degree then good for them. As long as they're happy and a functioning member of society that's what really matters.

@vaska1999 3 месяца назад

I'd be more upset that my son felt he had to lie to me for years because he feared my reaction. 😢

@stuff1784 6 месяцев назад

This guy really started out by saying it bluntly 😂😂

@user-fo7tw1zw3l 5 месяцев назад

A cops kid I went to school with did this when he went off to college and partied all the money away. Crazy.

@pmeehan_3 6 месяцев назад

Parents need to stop getting angry at their kids when their kids are honest with them. This is why they lie to you.

@wilinski30 6 месяцев назад

This is the premise of the pilot episode of The Rehearsal. IYKYK

@TheSUPERHAPPY1 6 месяцев назад

The book: "Adult children of emotionally immature parents"

@danielrn133 6 месяцев назад

It is odd I can't even figure out why he is lying. He isn't scamming them for money. He is working. I don't even get what the gain he is getting from the lying.

@drama-addictic6462 6 месяцев назад

He is scared of disappointing his parents firstly. But it doesnt matter bc their going to be disappointed in him for not going to school regardless, but I completely understand that mindset at that age

@breeeque 6 месяцев назад

Some cultures r sooooo harsh on their kids and what profession they are going into. Its like u either become a lawyer or doctor or you are a failure to them… these types of ppl want to show off to everyone that their kid “made it” in professional world. They r usually all about the status. In asia, ppl kill themselves over dissapointing their families the pressure is that bad

@arigodut 6 месяцев назад

Some parents want their kids to go to university not just for a career but also a status symbol and a reflection of them for whatever reason. Kids raised like this it’s the pressure and family expectations. They may not talk to him or punish him or berate him if he doesn’t do what they want him to do. He really wants their love and affection and therefore went with the lie so they could approve. It’s very difficult when you want your parents to love you and be proud of you and the currency is your academic/career success. It’s all sad.

@umiluv 6 месяцев назад

Some of my husband’s family is absolutely terrible about him not going to college. They treat him like he’s defective. Even though he now makes six figures. It’s bonkers.

@alexp123e 5 месяцев назад

I have a feeling his parents might be immigrants that wanted him to be a doctor. Which is why him being in college for 5 years isn't suspicious to them. Edit: I wrote that comment before I got to the part where he says they wanted him to be a doctor lol. Too easy (Tiger Parents)

@starrfadeable 5 месяцев назад

Oh this is scary, there have been multiple cases of kids who told their parents they were in college and then killed them days before their graduation.

@nikonugen5661 5 месяцев назад

Omg...I kinda do the opposite. People make a lot of assumptions about me and I never correct them. I go for the homeless look.

@jillr759 5 месяцев назад

Kids need to realize how much $$$$ this costs us when they are faking school. My son is now paying us back every cent. Last time he manipulates anyone.

@MsPants1632 Месяц назад

I’m going through just finding this out now and am devastated…. Can’t believe why my child would lie for years about this to us. We are pretty reasonable people and would have been sad but ok with the truth. And only sad because I know life would be harder for her without a degree. But lying to us and taking the money is making us sick. We didn’t raise our child to be like this. Such a blow for us. 😔. Even our other younger children are shocked that she would do such a thing. Sorry you had to go through this as well.

@whothou 6 месяцев назад

I lied about going to college for 2 years. Just kept working my lil part time job which required me to be in school, so I would just forge schedules or sign up for classes (pay) and the withdrawl. That guilt ate at me that whole time because I was burning money my mom had saved up for me but I still felt aimless and un-motivated because the classes felt so difficult didn't think I was good enoiugh. I would just constantly lie about classes and it sat on my chest. i'd say this guy is doing pretty good tbh.. He has a good job, so what if he didn't go to school like his parents thought? Most parents push for college so that their kids can have decent income

@babyjessejames376 6 месяцев назад

He should just tell them that their dream wasn't his dream and that he forged his own path and he's successful.

@cutthechicken194 6 месяцев назад

He's not strong enough mentally for the backlash. That's why he's been running scared

@territ1231 6 месяцев назад

Take a guy friend with you when you tell your dad, but make sure he doesn't speak when you tell.

@Jedi12789 6 месяцев назад

College ain’t for everyone. I graduated and several of friends that dropped out still have landed good jobs over time (better than what I make with a master’s degree). I think college can still be good if done as cheaply as possible with the idea that it might not necessarily lead to an extremely high income. If one has that approach, then they’ll probably be ok. If they have an entitled approach bc “I have degree and etc.” then they’ll be in trouble. Heck, if colleges don’t innovate quickly they will become obsolete. There’s an argument they already are obsolete for most of the top careers today that don’t require a degree. My family member used to tell me when I first graduated ‘that degree and $1 bill will buy you a cup of coffee’.

@gialamhuynh5448 6 месяцев назад

His parents wanted him to become a doctor. Are they Asian? 😂

@immcguyver07 6 месяцев назад

Now Michael Bolton needs to rewrite a whole song lol.

@rachelgooden9981 6 месяцев назад

Would like to hear how this goes

@anthearichter 6 месяцев назад

Good luck

@Chet_24 6 месяцев назад

Just do it online. If he puts his head down and cracks away at it, he could probably get a marketing degree in 2-3 yrs at wgu.

@RepentImmediately 6 месяцев назад

His parents think he's a pre-med student.

@Colesauve Месяц назад

To be a doctor? 😭

@skateata1 6 месяцев назад

I wish I just got a job I liked instead of student loans. I hope the parents are happy for him.

@seraphina2293 6 месяцев назад

Oh no, my kid’s not a doctor, he’s just making good money without any student loan debt. He has cast shame upon this family, how will I live this down.😂

@Eric_Bassett 6 месяцев назад

Parents that try to force their kids into medicine bring situations like this upon themselves. They caused this!

@suen5006 6 месяцев назад

Sad when parents have a career picked out and an obsession with a child having a certain career, when the child doesn't really want to do that and they make saying no impossible. It may be hard for this guy to tell his dad but he will eventually feel more mature that he's taken charge of his own life.

@veramichaella714 6 месяцев назад

Hello from Israel! Thank you for the quality content❤

@privacyplease1556 6 месяцев назад

There’s an unstated cultural component here. This man is likely Asian and dealing with tiger parents. His parents might disown him for this lie. I don’t think it’s as easy of a conversation as Dr. John is making it.

@emalienoel7891 6 месяцев назад

Honestly I don’t think I’d tell them. I’d just say I’m taking a break from school and focusing on work…. And then never say I went back

@USMCHelloKitty 6 месяцев назад

Reminds me of the Jennifer Pan case

@razmiddle9410 6 месяцев назад

That was different, she was taking their $$ and felt entitled to even more. She could have left entirely, but she wanted to continue living off their money, which she thought having them murdered would accomplish.

@thaneros 6 месяцев назад

@@razmiddle9410 Yeah, same thing

@Reshme77 6 месяцев назад

I'm guessing he's south Asian It's always over pressure about being a doctor

@deb9806 6 месяцев назад

Did they think he was bankrolling all his college? Seems odd. No contact about picking him up, vacations/breaks etc. After putting 3 through college, it seems odd he wouldn't have any questions unless the college was far away.

@sloapmonkey123 6 месяцев назад

Is it just me or is that zoom at 1:40 really jarring? Are there zooms on the show normally and I'm just now noticing?

@calleythompson2781 6 месяцев назад

Another thing the Caller might consider is an online Bachelors that he could finish very quickly, ideally self-paced. I'm not sure what he'd have access to in Canada but several regionally accredited online American Colleges have programs that allow you to transfer in a bunch of credits from 3rd parties like CLEP/Sofia (much cheaper than traditional classes) and sometimes "test out" of subjects by demonstrating mastery through work experience and a portfolio. A lot of people have had success with what they call "College Hacking", speeding through a degree by finding quick cheap ways to get and transfer credits. Since he already has a background in marketing he could look for a BA/BS in Business or Marketing and potentially finish in 1-2 years, then never need to have that conversation. Western Governors University, University of Maine at Presque Isle, and Southern New Hampshire University are all non-profits that are popular for College Hackers.

@RepentImmediately 6 месяцев назад

Likely, his father will be expecting to attend a graduation at whatever school the kid enrolled in 5 years ago where he's supposed to studying to become a doctor. Many science (pre-med) classes have labs as part of their curriculum. I don't think he'll be able to speed through a pre-med degree.

@DominickSpano 6 месяцев назад

5 years is a really really long time to lie about something. I believe the father know it was a lie. There is no way they cannot know, at least the father. I know it stinks to disappoint your parents or drop out of college, but 5 years is an insane amount of time to lie. I give him some latitude here b/c he sounds on the younger side, but it still is a lousy look on the part of the caller, but I still don't think he is a bad guy. Just a wayward younger man.

@RepentImmediately 6 месяцев назад

If he's not living at home, it's doubtful that his father knows. His father has his own life and has a sick wife. People can be serial killers and their spouse not even know about it.

@DominickSpano 6 месяцев назад

@@RepentImmediately I mean you make a valid point and it is hard to disagree.

@nicolab2075 6 месяцев назад

Wayward? He's an account manager!!! If my kid told me they'd lied about college, I would ask myself what I'd done wrong that he didn't feel he could tell the truth...

@DominickSpano 6 месяцев назад

@@nicolab2075 Your point is more than valid. I am just cutting him a bit of slack b/c he seems on the younger side.

@instahamx684 6 месяцев назад

I’m gonna help this kid out right now. Turn this whole thing that he did into a sitcom and make a web series about it, it’s hilarious that he did this. Turn it into comedy, it’s comedy gold. just make short 1-2 minutes episodes of how he totally lied for five years to his parents. I know it’s painful but it’s also so funny. Especially because he so much more successful than a college student, he had to lie that he was doing worse than he was to make his parents happy. He is so sweet and such a good son trying to do everything right 💖

@instahamx684 6 месяцев назад

Dr. John Delony should be the executive producer (with the kid of course since it’s his story) and each episode can explore a different weird thing people do to navigate interpersonal relationships that we probably shouldn’t do. Cautionary tales and life lessons that let us laugh together at how weird we all are. 💖 in the spirit of “the gift of the magi”, showing how people make mistakes just trying to love each other the best they can. Also could be a great way to teach Dave Ramsey financial wisdom, college is not always best, as he often says. Still thinking about this sweet guy’s dilemma and wondering if he told his dad yet.😅😅

@samantharcregan23 5 месяцев назад

I have done a very similar thing to what this young man has done please don’t be me

@jasonleatherwood2172 6 месяцев назад

Lol i wish i was this kid and did not waste 6 years of my life and 50000$ on college degree that i dont use i have a masters in business and i fix washers dryers and stoves for a living lol

@Jedi12789 6 месяцев назад

At some point in the not too distant future the majority of high school kids are going to realize that college is mostly useless and most probably won’t choose to attend. Most jobs (not all) can be learned on the job.

@joeriveracomedy 6 месяцев назад

He should have called Nathan for you

@wilinski30 6 месяцев назад

My thought as well 😂

@lifestylehomestead 6 месяцев назад

Poor guy...makes me sad. I get how he got in that place, but he's right to want to come clean. Lord, give him peace and contentment and heal his parents. May they come to know you, in Jesus' name.

@joywebster2678 5 месяцев назад

Mom dad i love you, i have a great career in marketing, and i love it. So i just wanted to let you know im not in College, but im fine. Then let him speak. I dont see why you have to shove i lied at him, especially if he already has suspicions. Then when he, if he asks you lied? Id say yes im sorry, i did.

@Jujune8644 6 месяцев назад

If this is from Asian parents I wouldn’t be surprised.

@FlowerGrl20 5 месяцев назад

I can only speak for South Asian parents….and nothing is ever good enough. Even if you graduate it’s still not good enough. It’s hard being a first generation immigrant kid. To this day I always think of my parents before myself. It’s something I have to work on.

@Tragedy59 6 месяцев назад

Weird call. Just tell your pops you have a good job without having to go to college. You can tell you mom but she will probably forget. My grandma has dementia and she forgets everything

@catherinewilke5583 4 месяца назад

My FIL wanted my ex to be a “business man”, even after the ex said he wanted to teach, his dad kept asking why he didn’t just take some business classes. My ex said because I don’t want to. This would be a great story if it weren’t for the fact that my ex chose teaching because he was just lazy and didn’t want to work in the summer 😂

@vaska1999 3 месяца назад

And then he discovered how hard and exhausting teaching is. 😂

@catherinewilke5583 3 месяца назад

@@vaska1999 I am sure that teaching is exhausting but they do get months of vacation.

@Trackpad12 6 месяцев назад

Yeah John blame the parents for this kids lack of balls…

@samjones2586 6 месяцев назад

Couldn’t even fake finish school in 4 years

@forthetruth24 4 месяца назад

I disagree with “it is never ok to lie”. The young man is not some school boy, he is a grown man and owes nothing to anybody. He lied to his parents because of the way they behaved and pushed him. His life is his life, nobody is entitled to bully him.