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Has anyone talked to Kim Kim about comas? Like... people without DID can lose time like that too, so you being a part of a system doesn't make you or your experience ANY LESS REAL OR VALID than someone who has been in a coma
Enya BadIndieGamer first of all that’s really specific and I just don’t think she thought about it. I certainly didn’t. But secondly, at least if you’re in a coma, other people know that you’re in a coma. Your family might hold onto your stuff and it’s still yours, your impact on the world is solely yours, whereas she is describing someone else using her body, so the people in her life didn’t know she was gone, thought they knew her and didn’t know her at all, and all of her stuff must have been completely gone and erased, and then none of her stuff belonged to her. Also, no one says “I’m going to have to resign myself to the fact that I’m going to go into a coma frequently” or have it be a constant fear. Dissociation is an unavoidable symptom of her disorder whereas coma patients don’t go into mini comas every day and wonder each time if they’ll lose years, which is exactly what she is describing.
@@nerdgressive Your descriptions of all the ways a coma is different from dissociative effects is spot on; however you're missing the intention within Enya's idea to approach the coma 'theme'.
@@PeachPlastic I get your point, I just think the way that Enya phrased the comment made it sound more like "um, comas exist" especially b/c of the Validity point, but I see and I agree with Alexis big time BUT I still see where Enya was going with it, and just wanted to be clear that while I got her addition of experience-types it was just out of range enough to make sense for entropy not to mention it, hence my agreement with Alexis R's reply. not that you asked for an explanation lol but didn't want to offend anyone!!
While non-DID people may not understand completely what you’re going through, that’s kind of the point, isn’t it? You didn’t realize you were part of a system so to disappear and then have to completely rearrange your world view has had to have been terrifying and confusing and a complete mind-f@%#. Thank you for being honest about it. Mad respect for your guts and bravery trying to make the best of your reality. I’m sure there are blessings in there too (common, Wynn and Ed? So kind...) but doesn’t negate the scary and disorienting.
I'm am surprised about how much as a host , I can't image how much it would be to lose 16 years when I freak out when I lose an hour , I am so proud of your bravery . -becca
its weird for me. i feel like im out the majority of the time but i blink and its a month later, and i dont remember anything up to the last 4ish years. and even then my memory is very bad. id say im the host, but thats the thing, you wont really know.
My protector experiences alot of the same 'I only exists in my hosts head, am I even a person?' Feelings and its so valid. DID is terrifying sometimes and I'm the host and I feel that fear sometimes, the fear that I could disappear and no one would notice
I am the second host of my clan. The OG host went into dormancy for about 10 years. She can understand your point of view but she doesn't want to front as she is frightened from her experiences she had when she was out. (Even though she is 24, she has a mind of a teen and has trauma.) ~ Lexi
That sounds like a PTSD reaction so to me it’s completely relatable being afraid of the traumatic thing happening again and desperately not wanting it to.
Kim Kim, I really appreciate your candidness on this matter. It's heartbreaking that you have to deal with this mess, a real world 13 going on 30 with no magical solution. But because of you I am better able to understand people with problems I've never experienced, and that is something I find immensely valuable. Your openness fosters compassion and growth in the people around you. No matter how much time you get on the outside, you have a very real impact. Not just on the objects around you, but the people you reach as well.
It's amazingly brave of you Kim Kim to talk to openly about your fears and I'm glad that you have found a way to start moving towards a mindset where you feel safe and valid. xxx
Omg, the opposite for me. I feel like I was pushed out by the former part, yet she feels like she has lost so much time and she is still a child. She is probably never coming out ever again, but how am I supposed to get used to being here seeing as I’m not even a real person?!
Kim Kim, you are just as valid and real as Wyn and anybody else is. Being dormant for so long doesn’t take that away from you, you probably have some level of PTSD associated with the Dark Place and the time you were dormant because of the trauma you experienced surrounding it. I can't imagine how difficult it can feel when you're inside, but just know we're all proud of you for finding your ways to cope with it and make things tolerable. It might be a good idea to speak with Ed and try to create some kind of safe space for you in the Headspace, whether that takes the shape of your outerworld bedroom or even a Pokemon Center, that way you have somewhere you feel safe and comfortable during this transitional period as you learn to accept the Headspace and feel comfortable there. Just know, you are real whether you're fronting or not. You are real even inside the Headspace, you are real even if you are dormant. You will always be Kim Kim, and nobody but you can take that away from you.
The only thing I can think that might be hard to deal with is if your inner world (if you can choose its shape and setting) looks too much like something from the outer world... It might get confusing. Wouldn't it? I could be wrong.
Thank you for sharing with us Kim Kim. I can’t imagine how scary that was. I can’t relate, but I greatly appreciate hearing your story. Have a good day everyone!
this must be so fucking difficult to live with, i can’t imagine how feeling like your life has been taken away from you must feel. you’re inspiring and amazing. you’re helping me through my BPD and OCD by posting videos about your system. thank you:)
I’m trying to figure out who fronted more when, because Kim Kim, Kit, Daniel and Wyn have all talked about fronting prominently. Would you mind sharing that time line of who fronted at what age in the body, or in what order/ when alters came to be at what point of bodies age?
I was born in 2002... I cant imagine how it is to miss out on what a lifetime is to me... that sounds really really scary and i'm just amazed by how strong and brave you are to keep trying, kim kim!
Kim Kim, this probably means very little to you, coming from a total stranger, but I assure you you are very real, you are a real person, with likes, dislikes, desires and fears, and with a very real purpose. You are very valid, and as real as one can be. I'm so glad you are sharing your story with us, and I'm so glad we have the chance to get to know you through this channel. Never stop being awsome. Sending lots of love!
I had a similar experience that I'm still kinda working towards coming to terms with. I also went dormant for a lengthy period, about 10 years, beginning when I was 16. We were just finishing up on college when I came back out, and I almost didn't want to be out anymore after that. I had the same feelings of life passing by without being able to live it, but I almost felt more like leaving it to Lavender, our host at the time (now co-host), as they're way more socially competent than I am, and they'd done great getting us through college. But we had some talks, and now Lavender and I tag team the host duties :) It's been a struggle XD Our body is now 31, about to be 32 in a couple weeks, and I still feel stuck around 16 or 17. There are many days where I kinda wish I could just permanently stay in the inner world. But getting to live outside is good too, in some ways~ -Ad
I had this same experience, around 12 was my major tipping point and I went dormant and Hayden became the new host. I spent so much time in the headspace that coming back out a decade later to talk about things was and is incredibly difficult. I'm having a hard time adjusting not only to the world around me but also to my body changes, since Hayden decided to transition with hormone replacement therapy. In my head I'm still a pre-teen and I'm trying to navigate a world where my body is almost 22 and there's a global pandemic going on. It's been incredibly overwhelming but seeing videos like these makes me feel less alone 💜
This video is heartbreaking :( I cant imagine to just wake up and lose 16 years, i guess its similar to coming out of a coma, and the trauma with that. But as the old saying goes I am able to think, therefore i am :) You have made a mark on the world, along with your system and you have every helped me understand more about the disorder, I work on a mental health secure unit in a hospital, so many people come to us very distressed, i help people with SO many different disorders, so channels like this really help to give me insight and better connect to the people i work with cant learn everything from books about it :)
When Ed said he took away the dark space that kind of made me want to cry. I wonder - because there are no more “dark places,” that there are no more dormant alters who are hidden? The mechanism by which systems generate new alters seems to vary in capacity. 💕 to you. I notice you do a lot of videos these days. I imagine you’re trying to get out there and live life as much as you can. The fact that you want to embrace life and its realness says a lot about where you’re at, now.
A member we didn’t know existed just resurfaced this last month and we’re all feeling so rough. She was the host for our childhood before middle school and she’s now a co-host/memory holder. It’s honestly so odd, and I’m glad I can watch this and see others go through this. We’re trying to help her, but god it’s so hard. The entire system is different, the house is different, and she’s the same.
our first host overnight somehow went dormant about 8 months ago and it scared us shitless. at first, everyone was quiet and a poor new alter thought they were alone and had to learn how to host. thankfully there was about 4/5 people that came back pretty quickly to help them, but so many others were eerily quiet and somewhere in the void. thank you so much for talking about this topic!! its been 8 months and we still don't know where our original host is. its brought up the question of who's life do we live and how? do we keep working on career and life goals of the dormant alter in hopes that she comes back? or do we say fuck it and try to figure out who we are and live the life/lives that we want to live?
This is one of the most real and powerful videos I've ever seen on DID. I learned so much from watching this I could watch it again and try to process more each time. Wow. Thank you for sharing this with us. You really are helping us to understand DID in a powerful way.
We recently got diagnosed with OSDD and this video helped so much because I wasn’t fully around for 3 years and it’s was so scary but this video helped explained that it wasn’t something I’m alone in that sometimes alters even hosts change or go dormant. It’s so comforting to know that I’m not the only who has dealt with this type thing. I know this video is old and no one will probably see this comment but your videos have helped us so much. Videos like yours have helped clear some of the dark spots that made us feel alone. We can’t express how much your videos mean to us. We’re so thankful systems like yours create space and talk about DID and OSDD so systems like ours don’t feel so alone and bad. We wish you and your system all the best -Cat
Y'all are some of the most amazing people. Familial care is difficult enough with multiple bodies, but the care and love you send to each other from within a single form is truly amazing.
Thank you very much for sharing tour story KimKim. I'm the core personality un a system and I just woke up 8 years later. Everything seems like a complete mess for me. Since I realize that my life has been taken by someone who's not me. But watching your videos helps me a lot Blessings! ❤️
This story hit me so emotionally. Your fears are valid and of course it’s ok to feel scared and anxious after losing 16 years of your life. You have grown up and done so well Kim Kim. I’m actually proud of you. You’re so much stronger now. And how Ed got rid of the dark place for you and promising to make sure you don’t disappear is very sweet of him.
i relate to this a lot, i went dormant for about 9 or 10 years and coming back and having everything so different was.. stressful to say the least. it took me a long time to get used to things.
Hey Kim-Kim my name is Owl. I went dormant in 2007-2008ish and woke up in 2021. I was gone for 12ish years and I'm really struggling too. But seeing you growing gives me hope💜
OMG this is me but over 27 years. I'm the birth personality and went dormant for that time during an extreme traumatic event in a conflict abroad. You described my life during that time perfectly like no other but a system could. Thank you. This was soooo helpful.
This was so sweet and wholesome especially at the end. I'm an alter with a similar story and I lament missing the childhood that our host had. It was heartbreaking but also like, felt good to know I'm not alone in feeling like that
I'm so happy that you are able to tell us about growing and coming to terms with your situation. You have grown so much since the first time I saw you in a video, I'm glad. ❤️
I can’t imagine what it was like to go through that and I can understand how out of control that must have made you feel. You did amazing to get back, being in this world isn’t always easy. Sending all my love
Can really relate to this - some of us have also lots years and years, it is tough. We also mostly all need tangible objects in the outside world to feel real. You are real, you will always stay real. Totally can understand the fears of having to spend more time in the inner world. Thanks for sharing your experience of this Kim Kim! Helps me be more compassionate to the others here too.
Hey Kim Kim, I definitely related to some of what you said. I was also an alter who was in charge in our teen years and then went dormant for years. Another alter of ours relates to the needing to do as much of her interests that she can in the outside world because she's afraid she'll disappear. Thank you for talking about all of this, it really helped us not to feel so alone in these things. -Veronica
Every time you do a video I am so amazed and so proud of how far you've come in so little time, from being that "angsty preteen" who seemed so uncomfortable and defensive at the start not that long ago to being so mature and holding so much responsibility but still being able to speak about your anxieties is so inspiring, you're an absolutely incredible person and I hope for the absolute best for you (and of course the rest of the system as well), keep being the wonderful person that is uniquely you and thank you so much for sharing more of your life with us🖤
Thank you so much for this vid. It was oddly comforting to hear you talk about your experience, as I was gone for almost 10 years (from age 17-27) so I can sorta relate. Thanks for sharing KimKim.
I love you so much, that's such a scary thing and terrible you had to experience! I understand how your feelings were towards the beginning! I'm so proud of you! I'm so glad you have your things that are unique to you. Best of luck on the inside, it's completely understandable that you were so nervous!
This was so relatable. I'm sorry you were gone so long. Thank you for talking about it. I've never heard someone talk about this, it happened to me too.
I just wanted to cry because your story is so emotional. I`m glad Ed could help you and I hope you find something in the city what is only for you. It must be horrible to find out that you missed so much time but i hope that your future life is full of positive things . Sending you love.
I’m sending tons of hugs and good vibes to you Kim Kim. Thank you for being brave enough to share your thoughts and feelings, I also believe that even people who aren’t a multiple, have fears of just disappearing and seizing to live or be in the thoughts of others, in any way. I love watching your videos and learning about how you (Kim Kim) see the outer world verses the rest of your system.
I feel so much for you. You're really strong and resilient. I can't begin to imagine what it must feel like to loose track of so many years and just wake up within a life that isn't yours. Words can't ever be more than words, Stay strong, Loads of love and respect
Thank you for this video. It hits really close to home and I am so grateful that you shared your experience. It is so validating to hear that other members of other systems struggle with similar things. Much love from our system to yours ❤️
it's so cool to hear kim kim talk about some of the drama that happened between alters. a lot of other youtuber systems with DID tend to show that they have their shit together and I really appreciate kim kim's honesty here ❤️ im glad things are much better now for you ~
It's amazing you are able to communicate so honestly about what must have been a lot of traumatic times. One of our best friends died 2 years ago and an alter went dormant then until a couple months ago. I think she experienced finding out about it happening but then not the following two years, and it's been... It's been hard to explain all the choices that have happened since then. Our life has changed a lot. Thank you so much for sharing it makes things feel less secret and unreal
I recently saw your tiktok on this. This was a great video explaining it. Although I can never actually understand what you're going through I do feel like I understand at least a bit more. Thank you for opening up and talking about this. I hope you are doing better now. You are loved too kim-kim, and I know that I will not forget you. Take care
Can definitely relate and understand Kim Kim. You are amazing and so brave. Thank you for sharing. And I honestly don’t think that anyone out here is going to let you disappear either. 🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜
Thank you kim kim for talking about your fears. Its so helpful to hear about how you feel and your journey. Your life is real and im happy youre here. You and your system are amazing.
Hi Kim-Kim, I'm so proud of you, thank you so much for sharing your experience, it really help us (or at least to me) to get a better understanding of this disorder. Lots of love from Chile ♥️🇨🇱, and I'm sorry for all that you have gone through, but even if I don't know you... Here there's some one that loves you and cares about you, I'll always remember you.
thank you for sharing this; I was also gone for about 10 years (as the host). The other alters didn't even know I was missing! It's sooo strange to wake up a decade later... and having had someone take over, lol, it feels similar though, but because maybe I'm older, I dont feel as much animosity.
Kim Kim I can so relate to what you said about feeling like your life was stolen from you. I just posted in a group yesterday about feeling that way. I feel extremely validated to know you also have felt that way.
Really brave of you to be so honest with your emotions about the situation. I have a tendency to bottle things up and beat around the bush. Definitely something I've been trying to work on in therapy. Basically I just wanted to say thank you for putting your most difficult feelings out for all of us to see. Y'all just amaze me ❤️
Thank you for sharing that; this is definitely an important element of the plural experience, and it helped to hear someone else voicing the same fears that some of us have. We've been on the verge of host switching lately I think, and that's scaring me (the current host) a lot for some of these same reasons. So yeah, your courage and your story are appreciated 🧡🖤
Kim Kim you are real you are valid you are valuable and we love you!! It was a little painful to watch you so vulnerable but it was also beautiful to see because it is so real. Hang in there girl. The entropy system would not be the same without you! ~love a proud entropical fish!
Kim Kim, thank you for sharing this. I don’t have DID so I couldn’t possibly imagine literally disappearing for an extended period of time, and I can’t compare anything to it because I don’t know what it’s like, but it sounded really hard, and I’m glad the other alters are supporting you(like, seriously, I STAN Wynn and Ed) and I’m glad you’re reaching out more and finding places in the headspace where you can be happy, and I hope it’ll get, if not completely, a little bit easier❤️💜
Thanks Kim Kim. You've really helped describe things I'm dealing with at the moment. I'm who the body is named after and I'm a main host now, but for over ten years I was dormant too. I was co-conscious for most of it, but unable to control much of anything, so I totally get the living in a weird dream feeling. And figuring out what memories are mine and what things I actually do is really hard and stressful. Thanks for the video, it helps knowing that it's a fairly normal occurrence in our not so normal situation.
Kim Kim, you remind me so much of me in my teens and early twenties. I am so sorry you lost 16 years, that sounds so scary, and I bet it's messed up knowing there's people out there who invalidate even this pain of yours as part of invalidating you guys as a system. You are growing so fast and so much and rounding up your personality as you grow. I am not part of a system and I do fully get it. I think you experience things similar to people like me, but it's presented differently. My trauma brain is learning a lot about self care from your system, and especially from you, Kim Kim. Thank you for sharing your experiences
Thank you for sharing your story and your fears, Kim Kim. Even though I'm the only one in my brain and haven't been through anything like what you've been through, I can still empathize. It sounds hard to deal with, and you've shown tremendous strength in all of your progress and in being willing to talk about it. There is no doubt in my mind that you exist, and existing in the head space makes that no less the case. There's yet to be a consciousness found that doesn't reside in a brain (or brain-like structure), and on the point about not having a lot of opportunities for social interaction with the outside world...you'd be surprised how many solo consciousnesses can relate. Reasons may differ, obviously, but you're far from alone in that.
Everything about this is very relatable to hear. Especially the part about needing to do exclusive things to help individualize us. For us it's music. We all have our own favorite songs and genres. It helps us feel distinct. We're an OSDD-1b system and we don't have a lot of memories from the headspace so we don't really know what's it's like to lose time like that. We can't even imagine what you guys have been through. But these videos have really been helping us lately and we're very grateful of that. Kinda forgot what our point was but thanks for the amazing content.
It's so interesting to hear the perspective of someone who doesn't fully understand how this whole D.I.D thing works like the rest of us yet has it. And putting it into simple terms really helps me understand a little bit better. Thanks(:
A very heartbreaking story. You have been cheated out of a full life. DID is such a bittersweet malady, a technique for surviving trauma that requires permanent sacrifice from the victim. The tragedy that keeps on giving. I guess a silver lining to this cloud is that the world was given Kim Kim and is now a better place for it. The same goes for all the alters and Wyn. Blessings to you all.
Funny I just found this video, just this week we finally managed to build up communication with an alter who was previous host and who was also living inside and kinda dormant for around 8 years. Thank you for this video, it might help me understand that part better! -Sol
