INFJ and Conflict | What happens to the INFJ before, during and after conflict?

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In this video I give my answer to what happens to the INFJ during conflict. This does not apply to all INFJs or maybe I am the only one who goes through this. I hope it helps and remember this process can happen in short time periods or long and in this order or a different version of it.
*** My Texts to myself
The path of the INFJ before and during conflict. The up. The up and anger. The during and the fog. The out of body experience. The trance of the INFJ during the battle. The realization. The door slam and retreat. Then the solitude and the alone. The detachment from everyone and all things. Alone. Depression. Realization from the depths. The over thinking to get back to self. The realignment. Then the reamergence of self. Then the 20/20 rear view. The solitu and the breaths of relief. Then the reatttachment yo self. Clarity comes back. The self comes back. The INFJ returns to self. At peace again with
You will lose time. Forget what day it is. Almost time will stop to measured by your mind but only by the light of the sun and by its absence. You will lose yourself in between each second of time. Almost finding that your inner feelings feel like time has stopped moving forward. Almost as if it is waiting for you to catch up or wake up. But you can’t for you have not moved to the next step in processing what is it has happened. Nothing you do can make it stop or different. That adds to the loneliness for you cannot ask for help. There is nobody to ask. Nobody will understand. This adds to the depression.
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7 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 243

@shaylasanchez100 Год назад

Nobody can help and INFJ, except a more experienced INFJ. Thank you so much Marty for helping me to know myself better. Your tools are amazing. I now know what you meant now when you said once that every INFJ needs to do the inner child work first. It means opening up every pain box in your mind for the first time, taking your childhood trauma as a whole and letting yourself feel it all, sorting through your triggers, putting yourself in the place of your abusers and understanding what built them, realizing that they still managed to shape your life for the positive, that they can’t live or love like you can because they can’t clearly see the patterns of their actions (like you can), forgiving them, and finally seeing yourself as a whole-part of the world and all of creation. I get it now Marty. THANK YOU FOR THAT!

@loldddddgt1322 4 года назад

I tend to be unable to solve my issues unless I am in an anti-social state. There seems to be something about solitude that makes me happy. Thanks for this video, I can now understand why people say I am arrogant when I just want to work alone.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

This is spot on and very well said. TYWC - Marty

@perfectloveIAM 3 года назад

I would use introverted rather than anti-social because anti-social is a very negative clinical diagnosis. You are not malignant.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

It depends on the type of definition you are using. Jung and the negative anti-social are not the same. TYWC - Marty

@melaniemarquez5056 4 года назад

I can never fully explain the extreme gratefulness for finding your channel..!!! To know someone understands.......to listen to someone explain what goes on within me, to explain my life..... to know I'm not the only one like this in this world.....I'm always sitting here crying while watching your videos cause it's my only comfort in someone understanding..... I've just found your channel a few months back...I've never left a comment before.....I'm very quiet in comments, but your videos have given my life great relief and a comfort...😭❤

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

That is great and thank you. Very supportive. I am not trying to be 100% but through transparency I can get close enough. TYWC - Marty

@raregoddess444 3 года назад

Same. I feel kinda saved by finding his videos because I literally thought I was alone for years in the way I think. I’m the only INFJ I know.

@MrHVACguy71 4 года назад

just experienced this exact sequence two months ago and it ended with a woman I'd been dating exclusively for 15 months not wanting to be with me anymore. I'm sure she felt abandoned even though I had no intentions of causing her any harm, I just needed self care time to recharge and regroup. It's probably for the best even though we shared a deep love that developed over a full year, she is a very active ENTP that loved social gatherings and activities just as much as our alone time together. I did not have the bandwidth to stay on point during social group activities like she did, it was just too exhausting. Thanks Marty, I enjoy watching this videos you create so we can better understand ourselves, learn and grow.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

The word NEVER is only in YOUR control. But sometimes it just goes that way. Maybe the future has a plan maybe not. But you are spot on. Well Said. TYWC - Marty

@nickranieri5095 4 года назад

Marty here’s my 0.02$ in Canadian pesos. Take it or don’t or tell me where to go , look into Stoicism. We as INFJ need to change. We need to work on things. We can’t change or explain things all the time. I still get worked up about things but not as often. I can only control the things I can. It’s all temporary. When I’m taking my last breaths I’ll be able to say , I tried and I cared. Clean conscience and hands.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Well said. Spot on! Here... Catch! ( Marker ) TYWC - Marty

@fritzbender5050 3 года назад

Dude, Stoicism helped me so much it is what the INFJ needs. Cheers!

@anubischick 3 года назад

@@fritzbender5050 I cant stand stoicism gives me the shivers. This INFJ just cant stoicize

@roxyie1122 4 года назад

100%. Every damn day! It takes up so much time...I feel barely alive. I'm exhausted! I have 25% sharp clarity, 45% brain fog, and 35% depression, and 5% peace. Man, it's lucky for the world that we're so rare.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Yep. The world is lucky. Or are we lucky? ;) TYWC - Marty

@baronvonrock 4 года назад

Thank you. This is "that thing" that happens and nobody else understands. I can only speak for myself that no matter how crummy the process seems, it gets more than better on the other side.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Yep. I am lucky that I could put it into words. TYWC - Marty

@Seca95 4 года назад

If this isn’t proof that I am in fact an INFJ, I don’t know what is. This video couldn’t come at a righter time. I had a fight with my sister 1.5 week ago (she confronted me, not the other way around). I doorslammed her, but since we’re sisters and we live in the same house, there’s no such thing as doorslamming her out my life. I’ve experienced and am still experiencing exactly what you sketched out here the last 1.5 week - you can of course pull the points a bit back and forth, make each section shorter or longer, as some of the stages were a little shorter for me than the others. But I’m in the Detachment/Alone stage right now, going in and out of depression. One moment, I’m telling myself that my sister has done me wrong and that it’s okay to draw back as I do after a treatment like that. I get a little peace of mind then. But then in the next moment, the guilt/empathy/whatever kicks in and I start to feel depressed over why the hell I am like this. We were sitting by the dinner table, my sister, mom and I, two hours ago. Both of us only conversated with my mom but not with each other - my sister doesn’t talk to me because I don’t talk to her (btw I don’t know her MBTI - she’s so stubborn I couldn’t even get her to take a test, but I’m guessing she’s either INTP or ISTP). If I had talked to her as if nothing had happened the day after we had the fight, she’d probably talk back and everything would’ve turned back to “normal”. But I didn’t talk to her, not then, and not there at the table. Then I just felt bad, really depressed, while she was sitting there and after she went into her room afterwards. I wanted to cry and asked myself “why am I like this?”. I mean, yes, my sister said some disappointing things and called me names that I really can’t just forget and continue with my life with - we need to talk about and sort things out, she needs to know how she made me feel. But if it was someone else in my place, he/she wouldn’t doorslam her sister like this?! He/she would’ve TALKED to her! Would’ve sought to sort things out! Wouldn’t they? We’ve had similar conflicts before (coming from a dysfunctional family, we have tons of unsolved resentments from the past that keep coming up to the surface in almost every heated discussion we have), where we wouldn’t talk for several months afterwards - primarily because this INFJ-behavior of mine, as I have to process, process and process everything a little more before I’m ready to talk. It’s not that I feel guilty about our discussion, there are things that generally really upset me about my sister’s behavior, not only me but she upsets my mom too. I know something is dead wrong with her attitude towards us. But for God’s sake, if it was someone else in my place he/she would have TALKED IT THROUGH WITH HER SISTER a looong time ago, WHILE the things that upset him/her were HAPPENING. They wouldn’t have avoided conflict like I do and let it all build up for ages until a huge conflict like this breaks out and sends me into my shell for weeks or months on end. And my sister doesn’t understand - of course she doesn’t. As you said, she thinks I don’t like her because of this. She once told me how upset she was by the fact that I didn’t talk to her for 4 months 7 years ago despite living under the same roof. She can’t wrap her head around how a sister can do that to her younger sister - unless it’s because she really dislikes her. She doesn’t understand, and how could she? Anyway, I h-a-t-e conflict, but there’s so many things I have to say to her. So I found a solution to talk things through with her - without face-to-face confrontations with tons of yelling and pointing fingers. I wrote my feelings and frustrations down in a 5-pages long Word document and sent it to her, asking her to reply in the same manner if she wouldn’t be able to talk to my face without yelling like she uses to. She replied in the same manner 2 days after that, which was 6 days ago - but I still haven’t replied to her, although I have so many more things to say and answer to the arguments and accusations she’s sent me. To the point that I’m bubbling out of frustration inside. But even now, in this “cold war”, I’m trying to avoid conflict - avoid the inconvenient act of writing that document with so many negative and upsetting feelings, and the knowing that she’ll read them in the room next door and probably reply with even more accusations. I’m going through a tough time already. I lost my beloved cat a little over a month ago, which sent me into a depression-like state of mind, especially as it happened simultaneously with the coming of the cold and grey autumn weathers. 3 weeks ago I lost my uncle unexpectedly, went to his funeral, crying people everywhere. I was already in a strange state of mind, kind of like you said, “out of body”. And now, 1.5 week ago, this totally unnecessary conflict with my sister happened and continues. Everything, life, seems and feels so unreal the last 1.5 months with the things that’ve happened, I don’t know how to explain it. Not a nightmare, but it feels like I’m living through a very disturbing dream. And in 3 months time an MRI scan will tell me whether or not I’ll have to get a brain surgery for the second time in my life. Conflict was the last thing I needed. I just want utter peace, but noone understands. I haven’t even seen my friends for a month now, I hardly text them even. Just withdrawn completely into my shell. So now, thanks to you Marty, I understand that the reason I live through this, the reason I experience and manage conflict like this, is because I’m just being an INFJ (and a Turbulent one at that). But I don’t want to be like this anymore. I want to fall out of this vicious cycle of conflict. From now on I’ll try to do my best to tell people when I feel they’re being unfair to me or are mistreating me in any kind of way. Especially to my sister, so that we can avoid all this build-up of resentment and negative feelings. That IS possible, right? As long as you really want it, work for it and train yourself, it should be possible even for an INFJ. And if accomplishing that requires the help of a therapist, I’ll do it. Been in need of therapy since I was a child anyway. I apologize for the lengthy comment, but here it is.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Very good and thanks for sharing. Go at your own pace and stay true to you as it is comments like these that tell me you are on the right path and have internal sight and not always external. Be careful with the academics but you do what you think is best. TYWC - Marty

@Geminisaus 2 года назад

I'm in a similar situation with my sister . And my family doesn't understand how I'm unable to talk to her despite living in the same roof. The first time I door slammed her lasted two years because she hurt me by leaving my son while I was out of the country for work to a three days party and my son drank water from a toilet seat because his babysitter was irresponsible. I blamed myself for leaving and trusting she would take care of him . I have never spoken about it to this day . I still don't understand why the party was more important than a two year old . Now currently we have the same problem I had to leave for a few months and the same happened with my daughter . It's been almost year I haven't spoken to her . I don't know if I want to despite all the intervention from family.

@rha9434 5 месяцев назад

thank you so much for you comment! i have neveer felt more seen! im not sure about my mbti ( trying to figure if im isfj or infj ) but you perfectly described how it LITERALLY goes between me and my sister every now and then and my exact thought process after big fights! i was NEVER able to put it into words tho , even when trying to look it up to see what's wrong with me , but you made me feel not so alone especially the " why am i like this?" part .

@EthericWarrior 4 года назад

You have become a paramount piece of the puzzle that is my soul. The loneliness we feel, because of our bottomless depths, is unimaginable to a non INFJ. Thank you for being there. You are a priceless treasure to me.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Thank you. Very supportive words. Very. TYWC - Marty

@EthericWarrior 4 года назад

@@marty_glenn You are most welcome.

@mohitm1911 3 года назад

Eloquent

@2bsolut 2 года назад

It`s just so unreal that being an INFJ is not a mental disorder or a disease, like how the f##k are you supposed to live like this. I actually felt pretty good thinking that all i needed was a good psychologist but the more I watch your videos, the more I realize how f##ked up this all is since there are some people out there who go through all the same s#it on daily basis as I do.

@marty_glenn 2 года назад

Yep. Is it so much as an MBTI type as it is a combination of who or what a person is? So hard to tell but if some did say and could prove a mental disorder I would not defend it but the proof had better be compelling and had better not come from an academic. I get what you are saying. Well said. TYWC - Marty

@mohitm1911 3 года назад

Marty u said at the end that we as infjs can't stop this .... It's not only possible to stop..but we can see it coming from miles.. the clarity becomes crystal ... ... And almost predictable.... A high...

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

:) TYWC - Marty

@kalinadesseaux8011 4 года назад

My INFJ revelation of the day: What we go through reminds me of the *grieving* process. So much goes into it, step by step, fear, fog, out of body/surreal, depression, alone; (looping,) and slowly coming back; like conflict is such a struggle for us, we might as well be, in a way, grieving.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Yes. I think this is a great addition to my video. Well said. TYWC - Marty

@kalinadesseaux8011 4 года назад

@@marty_glenn I'm so glad you do! Thanks for the reply!

@agnesgoldenbeld341 4 года назад

I recognise that. Although throughout my life I figured out that the same processes appear while growing, developing consciousness. So grieving is needed, almost on a day to day basis, while growing as a human being. When I was younger I've learned that I need alone time. While I was living my Fe-live I needed to feed my NI-needs. Since then I do very well, also when life's hard sometimes. The relief when all things come together, the fog goes away and can I see clearly again... Life is amazing, an INFJ-journey is an amazing journey. Thank you Marty for this video.

@samanthamichael3649 3 года назад

You are almost completely right. But while I am over thinking I try to find solutions. If I could of been better, I analyse that to be better. If I am in the right I consider how to other approach that person or if I want to walk away. You are right that I always tend to go through that cycle when conflict arises, but I NEVER forget the conflict. I wont dwell on it, but I WONT forget it. Cant learn if I forget. I think us INFJ are all about self growth

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

That is a great way to interpret my video and add to the foundation of the message even if you agree with parts and disagree with others. You are not wrong. Well said. TYWC - Marty

@GypsiesandInk 4 года назад

Step by step process on point. I could see this diagram being used as a healing tool for INFJ's and to help their loved ones understand them better.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

I will put them out there when I design them. I will do it. ;) I think this is a great idea. TYWC - Marty

@anubischick 3 года назад

You forgot the obssession of self reflection. Praying, processing the aspects of conflict. Making art, walking, whatever one is doing, constantly processing it. Desire to shut doors, draw lines, leave. Adrenals fired up, bad dreams. Depression. Self loathing. Nightmares. Anxious habits. The the Loving Universe comes in and helps us. Teaching us to love ourselves and we can use the new info and understanding in and things begin to feel balance

@jessicalittle2694 3 года назад

I'm nearly in tears. I'm going through this with family now and it's brutal. I have been in a fog since the pandemic started and I'm so tired so this conflict is killing me. Thank you for understanding.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

My pleasure. TYWC - Marty

@roxyie1122 4 года назад

To me, the fog stage is like being frozen in time. I'm aware of the conflict, yet unable to do more than nod slightly and blink...huh? Just so totally maddening, for myself as well as others. Also, this type of conflict only happens to me when I take things personally. If I can't take a step back, to where I'm a watcher and not a participant, I'm stuck in frozen hiatus - until the object of the conflict departs.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Yes: ' Take things personally'. That is the key I think and the majority of the issue for the INFJ and conflict. TYWC - Marty

@comingsoon2155 4 года назад

Marty- I am hesitant to sound like this could be possible, but I hope this video is not a response to a comment I left on your last video. when I made a very (I’m sorry) seemingly critical comment/question about why you were being so effusive, I look at my ENFP self with the constant verbal diarrhea and think how I would love to be able to control it. It leaves me feeling vulnerable . I’m terribly blunt (ENFP-T) which is awful because I’m immensely sensitive. I had an INFJ boyfriend, I knew when I met him he was an INFJ. I told him after a few weeks of knowing him casually. I cannot believe it took me to the end of the video to see all of this. We had a major conflict happen. It was in response to my own traumatic marital past and I believe what was his inability to speak up. After 3 years he simply left our friendship/ relationship. No word, no goodbye, nothing. In response, I was incredibly angry and confronted him. We did not speak after this, as you would expect but I saw him sometime later looking disheveled and very I unlike himself. As I watched your video, I saw these patterns exactly. I know the INFJ. What you described is so accurate, I watched it unfold. It’s very difficult to peer into the mind of an Infj, as you know. I had a lot figured out during my time with him, but not all. I used to think of him as an iceberg with 10% of him peeking just out of the surface of the water while 90% lie beneath. What he did to me was unfair, pulling me in to love him while not quite committing for 3 years. Then, one day, just leaving. No argument, not a result of a conflict. I saw it as pure selfishness. How can a deeply empathic INFJ be so removed and cruel? It’s a rhetorical question but an interesting one nonetheless. Thank you for a deep explanation of this mind, the INFJ, that I find both immensely fascinating and quietly frighting

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Nope. I did this on me and what I was going through over Eric and the Type Police video exchange. It took me 2 - 3 weeks to go through the process. TYWC - Marty

@folasadeofurune7557 4 года назад

Your description of INFJ and conflict is so scientific, so true and very clear to understand. I think that you can call it The Theory of INFJ and Conflict.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Thank you and I think it is good as well but I think it could be better. I will expand on it. Thanks for the support and the positive words. TYWC - Marty

@perfectloveIAM 3 года назад

“Yet again”... that’s the narc experiencce. It actually won’t ever happen again. Trauma bonding- I think without that childhood experience, we might be ok.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

I am not on that bandwagon as the academics say it. I get it and think the value is there but I just think there is a different path. I heard you. ;) TYWC - Marty

@Mute2024 2 года назад

This makes me really sad for myself but simultaneously happy I’m not alone.

@Prettyredlady92 Год назад

of all the infj material I've soaked in this was breathtakingly crazy and healing to hear it explained... Strange Literally happening this moment...this was extremely informative and relative . Thank you 🙏🙏

@gemeinschaftsgeful 4 года назад

Very true. The trance, fog, and physicality of the experience causes me to be unable to defend and express myself in a conflict. I've been calling conflict kryptonite for the INFJ and you just analyzed and explained the details of how the poison effects us and how we emerge.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Thank you. I did my best and will expand on this in the future. TYWC - Marty

@mdabdulquadir6136 3 года назад

The conflict representative flow.. beautiful and so accurate. I am myself at post-doorslam stage, Zoning in and out of my consciousness, trying to rationalize to my bones, every event happened, why things went wrong and in that way which is keeping my present life a bit on hold. This is depleting my energy. Hope to make to self peace sooner. Thanx for making this.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

You are welcome and more to come on this at a later time. Always doing my best and this is a work in progress. TYWC - Marty

@roopesaarelainen6729 2 года назад

I have never commented on any videos of RU-vid. This is my first one because i´ve never felt more understood.. The whole of my thought process during conflict. I have many times thought how it works, why does it keep happening, even written about it but in a more narrowed down way. This completely verified my thinking, of course there might be some personal bits to add to it. I´m still an unhealthy INFJ trying to grow and better myself. This gave me a piece to it. Thank you Marty for the best video i have ever seen!

@jonjoachim7277 3 года назад

Accurately expressed.......#stunned!!! There were days it felt like this to be honest......exactly like this.....the word NOBODY stands out for me with what you wrote.......you're brilliant sir Marty G..........brilliant!!!

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

Thank you and appreciate the kind words. Doing my best and sometimes it clicks. TYWC - Marty

@andrewjones6007 3 года назад

I'm in the looking for clarity and self phase. Your videos have been truly phenomenal and helpful.

@andrewjones6007 3 года назад

Also been fighting the door slam for a month.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

The door slam is not an easy solution but is just how it goes. - Marty

@tanyabekker5971 4 года назад

Wow!! could never explain this.Always just end up saying sorry to everyone I ghosted.Thank so much.You do not know how much this helps.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

You are welcome. I think it needs to be expanded on but it is a great start. TYWC - Marty

@tanyabekker5971 4 года назад

@@marty_glenn Shux it was like you switched on a light for me.Well if you can improve on this Marty it is Mindblowing !

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Yes. I can. ;) - Marty

@heartbeatingdays Год назад

I’m in a conflict right now. Can’t think about anything else. Anger: points out our passion, what we care for.

@inyoureyes25 3 года назад

I am losing it...stunned..you explained why life is so difficult. What a Godsend. I have never heard anyone explain it & I thought this was just me!! Thank you, dear soul, for taking time to do this video.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

Very welcome. Glad in some way I could help. It is the small things; sometimes just a word. TYWC - Marty

@beautifulbutterfly5578 Год назад

Detachment is a big deal during process, I even detached myself from my son, whom I love very much. Later thinking about all process I was most surprise about detachment, how could I be so detached from someone I love so much, me the most empathic and loving person. To be honest I feel guilty about this fact for long time, thinking I'm bad father. But I could not change what I feel during conflict.

@marty_glenn Год назад

Both my boys don’t talk to me. I love them unconditionally. They call…I give. Friendship? Fuck off! They have disrespected me so badly and for so long that I put my foot down and aid enough is enough. I am their father; I’m not their fucking friend. My job: save their life and give unconditional love when THEY need it and with out fail. I won’t and will not ever fail in those two areas with regards to my children. But I demand to be respected. I expect to be respected. I have earned it. I have. I play by a different set rules and those rules do not include lowering myself to know it all Gen-Z children who have forgotten their place or lost their fucking brains somewhere between birth and their first smartphone. This might be 2023 but real parenting comes from 0000. I stand firm on that and no way I’m budging. I would rather never speak or see them than give in to them on being a father and what that truly means. Ya, fuck that; come knock hard on the door … real fucking hard. TYWC - Marty

@deerogerson6480 2 года назад

1,000% buddy!!!!! So good to understand myself more, to feel understood by another and to know I'm not alone. Thank you so much for your selfless sharing! 💜

@datamedlb1 4 года назад

Thank you again, a spot-on presentation of what happens with INFJ! When a situation presents itself, usually I have enough solitude and other (work) that I am not in the "stew" of others and it's not my business. However, when it's family (newly married son) I recently went through IT (a year ago) and NOW with this explanation I now have clarity to really forgive myself and accept myself. I will endeavor to be more separate from giving my opinion and be more in the background. It's just how life is, I am good with it. Thanks Marty

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

This is great. I am very happy I could help you forgive you. Great! TYWC - Marty

@JacksTestimony 3 года назад

I love when I tell myself, “I figured it out.”

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

I hope that is often. Me too. TYWC - Marty

@bethanyhowlett4044 4 года назад

Love the way you described this. Fascinating.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Thank you. Always doing my best. TYWC - Marty

@karensiebenaler5886 4 года назад

I made the mistake of getting behind the wheel when i was in this conflict state and caused an accident. You have clarified what i was going through perfectly. Thank you for your insights.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Yep. I have been there too and glad you made it safe. Be careful. Always. TYWC - Marty

@mohitm1911 3 года назад

U r Magic,charm,beauty, brilliance intelligence,digging deep,trusting yourself, razors edge ,flirting with meaning,dancing with life...arriving... Stay cool .........

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

Thank you. :) Very kind words. TYWC - Marty

@mryanfoster1871 3 года назад

Only a fellow infj can help another fellow at infj. Just like the other three rare personality types only understand are non-linear jumps!!!

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

You have a point with this comment; I hope others get it too. TYWC - Marty

@mryanfoster1871 3 года назад

Before I decided to do my personality test, I mean test and I did one's from UCLA Berkeley Harvard Princeton Oxford. I figured do the ones with the strongest psychology departments they would have the best questions well I did 20 of them. Took me a week to do 2,000 I figured do the average because I probably need to configured I needed a psychologist or a therapist to help me guide me through it so I figured do the average while there was no average. Finding out my personality type has made my life make sense ,not rational sense. I thought it was somewhat crazy and alone. I've been told by therapist and counselors that there's been quite a few studies done on narcissist and INFJs. And these studies show that INFJs have 10 times more narcissists in their life than any other personality type. And unfortunately I can testify to that! My father is a narcissist my mother is a narcissist my Uncle Larry my mom's brother is a narcissist my dad's sisters a narcissist, I had multiple friends in high school that were narcissists. Emotionally validate them in the beginning, then I start seeing through their s*** and not letting it fly, so they go behind my back and run me down meanwhile telling me to my face they're my friends. If I had if I had a dollar for every friend that I made and had to ditch, cuz they were toxic or a narcissist or their perception of me has been destroyed by narcissists, I'd have a couple hundred dollars. And always in between I always seek balance. Till I seen your videos, and I'm doing my own research into INFJs, I've never had my feelings described so accurately, wonderful I just really couldn't put it to words some of it I could. And the worst one of the mistakes I've ever made was seeing my mom and my mother's sister therapist, on the second session I had to go on Prozac!!! I had a major reaction on that one!! Wish I knew about CBD oil back then, because of the repressed memories and trauma I incurred through the hands of my father and his mother, and plus my dad's side putting that me down and criticizing me for hanging out with my mom's side which is cowboys and natives, and my mom's side full of narcissists too, I'm an x drilling rig hand like the oilfield. His emotional abuse my old man gave me that I could never handle the rigs, I didn't ditch those chains of his until it was 37 years old, and through the power of just being a role model for three kids, that were not my own, I was given the strength to go ahead and give it a shot, and in Canada we have an association for drilling rig hands and service rig hands, and after 2 1/2 years I have one of the best ratings a rough night can have and I was also going to be promoted past one position up to derrickhand, third most important job on the oil rig, so important that if you spend two years solid as a derrickhand, you can turn a four year petroleum engineer degree and to just two, and after the first semester you can get a an oil company like Exxon or harvest, ConocoPhillips, to pay for your whole schooling as long as you work for at least 4 years after you graduate for them and they have work for you plus they buy you a truck and pay you to go to school. Although with the oil field in Canada pretty much destroyed, unfortunately unless world war 3 happens at a pipe dream that's not going to happen. And even the jobs during spring break and during the summer and the oil field I was considered a untypical engineer son, my old man was an engineer a second generation, and typical engineers sons are lazy and worthless, just like my younger brother who was given a lot , but only measured up to being a typical engineered son. Sorry for rambling on. If I didn't throw my old man's BS out the window and went for the rigs I would have regretted it all my life. Now I got to catch 22 scenario going now regretting not ditching his BS long before! Loland I just recently got rid of a whole bunch of toxic friends which is pretty much all of them again, because my mom's side got all jealous when a great uncle who was dying of three cancers and had dementia, remembered his right hand nephew because he worked on the rigs too when he was younger, a lot of family members got jealous, and I was even told that by my mom's sister, when my Aunt Patty my uncle Al's sister-in-law and my aunt Royce my Uncle Al's ex-wife died nobody told me for 3 months, then my mother got upset with me because I had a problem with that. And then when I went back and checked five different cousins Facebook and my mother's for 6 months prior, not a word!!! When my Uncle Al died it was all over Facebook when my Uncle Jim died two years prior to my Uncle Al they were brothers, it was all over Facebook and when my aunt Susan died my mom's sister, it was all over Facebook!!! So first concerned the whole lot of them decided to rob me of saying goodbye!!!! So I decided to whole lot of them could be ghosted on both sides and they're all too toxic!!! And it's really tricky with finding the right therapist who can deal with me,cuz I can't sit there and talk about one little thing for 20 sessions which doesn't even bother me and not even the reason why I'm in there!!!! But once in awhile I have glimpses of a therapist who kind of gets it and give me homework books to read cuz I thrive on that knowledge. Right now I'm getting myself out of the rut that I'm in I'm taking a bunch of courses I had to drop in the center. I'm doing my best to get balance and picking my ass and my jaw off the ground, so I can realize my dreams, instead of everyone else's BS getting in the way and causing me problems even though I get a little too involved used to think I was codependent but that's not right, being an infj!!! I'd rather be a normal I would be so much better off being a normal human being. Although that's not the cards I was dealt, and with me seeking balance I have to embrace who I am, not criticize myself as much and actually win forgiveness within myself, which is a difficult thing because things I did when I was like 15 I still haven't forgiven myself world over there aren't bad it's just a lapse in judgment. Well nonetheless I really appreciate you having a RU-vid channel. And your glass board and your diagrams, I wish they didn't make so much sense, lol . Order of chaos!!!lol

@mryanfoster1871 3 года назад

I'm a little high right now on weed!!lol keep doing what you're doing, you you give some order to chaos and I appreciate that thank you.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

lol That is funny. Drugs. Drugs. Drugs. You have my vote; freedom of choice. - Marty

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

Great job on the comment. Appreciate the time... With that said, the extreme Fe and the low percentage of Ni dominant and the Fe could create the stats but I think that is just an opinionated calculation; I am sure you get what I am saying. As for the channel and the glass board and the diagrams... Thank you and I appreciate the support. Dropping like 30 or maybe I do not know 40 videos this coming weekend so it will interesting over the next few weeks. - Marty

@jamiesisson9546 3 года назад

Marty, I just started watching your videos and just want to thank you for the mental energy you put into each of these. Like the others, this one is thorough and spot-on (but what else would I expect from a fellow INFJ?). You’ve untangled the conflict response in a way that can truly help me be more conscious of the process and interrogate those responses along the way. Revolutionary work 👍🏼👍🏼

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

Thank you. Always doing my best. TYWC - Marty

@emilyroche9926 2 года назад

I have been through this different times. I'm pulling myself out right now so yes, very accurate. It doesn't necessarily feel as dramatic to me as you are presenting it to be, but perhaps that's just your public speaking style and your use of emotional appeals/arguments. Your videos are a treasure trove of knowledge for self healing, however, I usually cannot sit through sn entire one-at a time bc of the energy, the negative emotions. It's a lot coming at me. I'm an INFJ and have been through horrific experiences and abuse and perhaps its not exactly that these processes occur but how we choose to react to then. For example, I saw a clip of a video earlier where you said someone, online,(I think) threatened to kill you for speaking out. I have literally had someone, my ex try to kill me and..its how you react. I so strongly disagree with the hopeless message that you can NEVER stop this process, you have no control, etc etc. It's difficult but..coping skills, therapy, meditation, resetting your vagus nerve, activities to cone back into your body. You have a huge platform, people respect and are listening to you. You have a responsibility, Idk that you're aware, and you're doing a huge disservice when you say uu can't stop it, and inject your emotions and experiences and apply them to everyone.

@marty_glenn 2 года назад

Emily. I do not think anybody said 'Killing'. I would have to watch the video and the time. I hope not, but know that I have a pretty dark past and been through a lot and also have reach very high places of happiness. Please see my other playlists for non MBTI topics if you have not. As for who and what I am responsible for??? That is a tough one for me. I am a small youtuber; no. Almost 10,000 subs and only 500 a day watch me. I respect what you are saying and I will keep it with me but most of the time I feel like it is just me and a few people. Also, I am just true to me and see it because it is my expressive channel for me to empty my thoughts and life. I am sorry if the message was hopeless to you but never is that what I want to make known and there is no way out. There is always a path toward happiness; its the strength of the person who chooses to find it. TYWC - Marty

@deerogerson6480 2 года назад

As an INFJ I disagree that this message is of hopelessness. For me, it helps me understand myself and what happens to me in conflict. That gives me hope and strength that I am validated and understood and a sense of relief that im not alone. Saying it will never end for me means that it is a part of me that I will always need to be aware of. it may never end, but I can learn to manage it. awareness is key, and Marty's messages help keep me aware of my intricate workings. 💜

@HinaAjmal- 3 года назад

I can't thank you enough Marty for explaining this to me. Thankyou sooooo much ! My INFJ is back and that too with the same trust and love but I had no idea what parts ofthe conflict he's still holding on to. I'm so relieved to know this cycle had nothing to do with me shoof ! And your cycle is spot on !!! Brilliant work !!

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

You are welcome. Wild ride you are in for; that is all I can say. A true, A TRUE INFJ, will put you in a tail spin and trust me when I say the factors I speak about, if I am deep down at my core the real deal ( to this day, each and every day, I test myself and my cognitive functions to make sure, and each and every day, INFJ is the result ) my videos can, will and do tell my story and my inside life. I hope it helps and glad for you it did and does. TYWC - Marty

@SonNguyen-bt5bv 3 года назад

Kindness and fearless. I was lucky to have my life back from the age of 20.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

Very good. :) TYWC - Marty

@thechickincharge1073 4 года назад

😱 I completely shut down! I get back but loop it 20 years later. There is such pain in my brain! Yes, much smarter and sadly more calloused.😭

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Yes. The loop never ends and can come back to you years later. I find that very frustrating. TYWC - Marty

@NeqMed 4 года назад

That is almost prophetic. Well done on your poem, are writing. I haven’t listened to the rest of your video yet, but you’re writing very well encompasses the bag that INSJ find them selves.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

I think so too but many do not. TYWC - Marty

@NeqMed 3 года назад

@@marty_glenn Come on Marty, help A Brother out, what is the best match for a Ike NSJ. Cubs fan. That shouldn’t affect anything…

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

Fuck Hector what? LOL What exactly are you asking me. What type vs what type? - Marty

@MichaelSmith-qf3yy 2 года назад

Marty, this was one of your best, IMO. 👍 -- Michael, INFJ

@marty_glenn 2 года назад

Thank you. Yes, I think too that there have been some really great videos. TYWC - Marty

@heartbeatingdays Год назад

Wow you really describe the whole process. Every thought.

@jablestables682 9 месяцев назад

This was so raw. Thank you for your vulnerability.

@marty_glenn 9 месяцев назад

You are most welcome. TYWC - Marty

@safkoviaxx9673 3 года назад

Thank you so much for this it made me feel so much better. This is the exact same process I’ve always gone through and to hear it explained from someone else took a weight off me. It’s a really valuable perspective to have heard, especially the detachment from self, that’s something I’ve never considered but makes perfect sense. Hearing you describe the post-conflict sadness as “crippling depression” really hit the nail on the head and let’s me know that I was never overreacting because for those 48 hours (or however long) that really is how it feels. As someone who has experienced long depressive episodes, I can say that the it’s the same physical/ emotional experience, just for a shorter duration. I’ve subscribed and look forward to hearing some more of your perspectives on being an INFJ.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

Great. Always remember er though that the INFJ is such a small part of me and my channel but it is a great way for me to describe and show things. I hope that makes sense. TYWC - Marty

@vidyaaudia6768 4 года назад

Sorry to say that i hate you sir being so true about described what I always goin thru hahaha. Finnaly i know that im not the only one like this and super glad to know this type of thingking process or whatever it is are really tengible. Btw this is my first time ever to comment on youtube because this video 😂 I love your youtube channel and i thank you very much for helping me to be a better person. May God bless you always sir.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

HaHa Imagine being me and my reflection within the mirror. TYWC - Marty

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

You are very welcome and thank you for the supportive words. Means a lot. TYWC - Marty

@athanasecarrello5571 2 года назад

I appreciate the way you express in a literary, almost romantic form, a rather obscure and repetitive process from non-infj point of view. Personally, I understand the Ni-Ti loop, but not its combination with such intense gut feelings. My question is very specific: what happens if you doorslam an infj before... the infj doorslams you? Are we doing him a favor ? Or do we "eternize" the Ni-Ti loop ? Clarification: for better or for worse, I see infjs as selfless narcissists. The more we help them name their lost ego, the more we make them lovable. Ps : Type police is the 17th type... the type that fetishizes its own emptiness.

@marty_glenn 2 года назад

You are welcome. TYWC - Marty

@raregoddess444 3 года назад

Again 3 mins in and its like yaap. I’m doing this right now 🤦🏽‍♀️ door slamming everyone out so I can get back to feeling “ok”. I keep changing my number and I know this cycle isn’t going to work out forever.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

I am sure if you keep trying a door or window will open to another path. I am sure. TYWC - Marty

@pelte 4 года назад

Hey Marty, really thank you for sharing your experience of what you went through.. I'm not an INFJ but just the tone of voice alone is making my body shaking and puts a heavy veil of dark clouds on my shoulders. It's really helpful for me to understand the depths of INFJ experience at least on a very primitive basic level. I guess it would be highly ignorant for me to say that I can ever comprehend what that level of depth might be but I really appreciate how you lay down the process. It just blows my mind just the sheer strength of the INFJ mind and able to handle emotions, empathy and thoughts in such a deep level.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Thank you and great support. The biggest part is being honest and transparent and not being afraid. Not easy. But I try my best; always. TYWC - Marty

@ldmurray9165 4 года назад

Regarding you decision to monetize. Hell Yeah! You work hard and we all appreciate it, so be compensated for it!!! :-)

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Thank you. I figured it out finally. TYWC - Marty

@richardm.4997 4 года назад

Thanks again Marty,you've described perfectly what I go through,its a relief to know there's someone out there that gets it.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Yes. I do. TYWC - Marty

@luisacordero1501 3 года назад

It’s dissociation from this world into the divinity of Oneness where there is no time, no friends, no family, nothing temporal, just oneness. But we come back with more wisdom until a more difficult test takes us down again. Darkness brings forth light. Without darkness entering our own lives, we cannot totally empathize with those we are called to help. It’s like a red reset button we push and we get a glimpse of dark reality and we dissociate for a period of time until we come back to this world that desperately needs to see a real live example of the ideal.

@janetzinati1190 3 года назад

Video do to help and I also blow peoples minds with the way my mind works in the way you are presenting yourself and speech sounds just like me but in the male version which is almost like a breath of fresh air and a lot of sense to sensibility come to fruition 🙏🌺🔥🙌

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

The pain is real... lol TYWC - Marty

@kibaAttube Год назад

So accurate holy damn. Infj here 👐

@helenbmt1284 4 года назад

Thank You. I needed to hear this. Amazing awareness!

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Thank you. Yep. You cannot fake this and it was just thoughts and feelings at that time. If I did not write them down I would have forgotten them. TYWC - Marty

@mezidvemastromy5546 3 года назад

The sniper focus of INFJ sounds almost like a berserker rage, if I hear it from someone else than myself. Thank you

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

Funny but true. TYWC - Marty

@wmlemerise2331 Год назад

Depression? Yeah once. Lesson learned. As an infj I found tai chi thank you no more depression.

@critter_paws 4 месяца назад

Ha yep. Last "partner" (turned out to be an actual person w NPD like my caregiver, untangling all that now) got "stabbed in the face" when I was needing time to deal with something heart wrenching and couldn't get any space for it. It's hard to get space when the person sees you as less than a whole person, instead as an object in the snapshot they've made you into in their mind.

@blueharley86 4 года назад

👍 Nothing I can add. Going through the process "again" myself presently.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

I think I need to flush this out some more but it is a great start. TYWC - Marty

@sarahpaquet1530 Год назад

When someone says you are not good enough the way you are. I justify their actions because I don’t think I am enough and scared of being alone so I stay with someone that makes me feel small. In the midst of all of this I can’t just simply walk away until I know for sure that person will continue to hurt me no matter what I say and how I try to tell them to stop. They don’t. I have door slammed many people and it’s exhausting at this point to try to keep ending relationships because I want it to work so badly, yet I am not good enough for that person. I can’t be with someone who does not love me or makes me feel this way. I want these relationships to work, if only these people were to not criticise and be so judgmental. I want it to work, but this is no longer good for me. I don’t know what to do but end the relationships in my life.

@LarimarCabrera 4 года назад

So I am realigning right now. It feels great. But I have to catch up with all the present things, the here and now is calling for my attention. I realized that I have been so angry that I behave like a lazy person, but in reality laziness is a symptom to me hating being in the moment. And taking care of sensory details get overwhelming really quick. I have decided to live with quality items and not with a large quantity of items. The less things I have to deal with, the more likely I will get things done well.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Yes. I get that. Lazy and or procrastinating is a part of the realignment and not an indication of type. Do you see how this can get confusing when typing yourself and not having some additional details to think about? TYWC - Marty

@kalinadesseaux8011 4 года назад

Thankyou, Marty. its really all i can say; genuinely, *thankyou*. this is really one of your best and clearest videos to date! your writting voice really speaks to me; incredible; the metaphors of time is measured; deep. this. piece of writing. infj; been trying to figure out *what* my brain/emotions are doing, during deep conflict.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

You are welcome. Interesting to text that to myself in that way is it not? Strange to me how that goes. Thank you for the kind words. TYWC - Marty

@singular9 4 года назад

Man what a way to ruin a go at one of the best tracks out there. What car did you get to drive while there? I will say you hit all the points on the head here. All of this is 100% correct and I have been through all of these steps one by one.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

BMW S1000 Bike. Glad you think so. It is not 100% but we are on the same page. TYWC - Marty

@Mute2024 2 года назад

Very useful video. Thank you!

@countrylifestyle8957 4 года назад

Wow shockingly accurate 👀 thanks..for sharing.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

You are welcome. TYWC - Marty

@Jeff_The_Weatherman 4 года назад

Hi Marty! Every interesting. I have experienced these things in some form as you described, but not all of them. When I was watching the video I was trying to relate to it via recalling some of my own conflicts with others in the past. It was weird, my mind was trying to actively forget what I was recalling, it was like I would recall it and almost immediately it was vanishing, like someone trying to hide something behind their back. Then you mentioned that we forget it and repeat the process over. I then went, "Ah ha" that is why my mind was playing "hide and seek" with the memories. The old memories are there, but it quickly cloaks. I am wondering what you said here, could it also apply to emotional (verbal) or or even physical Abuse? Where as in "conflict" we have an active role (part of the back and forth actions with another person), but in abusive situations we tend to be only on the receiving (Passive) side. Just wondering if the same stages and processes you stated here also happens with "abuse" for the INFJ? Cheers, Jeff

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Yes. I think it be applied to all forms of trauma and conflict. I think it can be expanded upon and this comment helps in that progress for sure. TYWC - Marty

@dallasstorey 2 года назад

So what are the solutions beyond "you were born that way?" All that alone mental Olympics can't be healthy, esp for those of us who live alone. Surely theres a healthy middle ground?

@raregoddess444 3 года назад

Can you be my friend 🤣🤣 like man You literally understand my whole life my whole thought process. It’s crazy

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

You are commenting. I am answering you. Friends it is. ;) TYWC - Marty

@sarwall_ 2 года назад

I’ve never felt more understood in my entire life. When I have conflict and after I say what I’ve wanted to say (after thinking about what I wanted to say for probably months, even typing it out and editing it over and over), it’s dead. I don’t want to hear it anymore, I want to drop it, I don’t want to talk about it again later, I just want to drop it and move on. So badly to the point where when I’m mid argument with someone after I’ve said what I wanted to say, I won’t even read their responses because I’m just so done with it. And then go immediately into hermit mode, disconnect from the world, and the cycle repeats

@marty_glenn 2 года назад

So you liked the video? :) TYWC - Marty

@danie7071 7 месяцев назад

Spot on Marty! Marty out of curiosity I thought I’d ask this as I have pondered on it for quite some time now. Do you think Every INFJ should own/ride a motorcycle? And because I so much love how you explain things, do you mind telling us the benefit of this to INFJs? Thanks in advance.

@marty_glenn 7 месяцев назад

Not on the street. the INFJ does not have the sensing to stay alive. I do not and would never ride on the street for this very reason. In fact, no Si and no Se for me is death on two wheels off the track. Since I do not have either of those what I do is ride like I cannot get hurt. The fear is there and the I am scared, which is counter to the INFJ and thrill seeking so the lacking in Si and Se is the foundation. TYWC - Marty

@PerfectPetProductions 4 года назад

Loneliness may be the best option. Forever. But I'm saving up for a dog. Can trust dogs.

@Seca95 4 года назад

But dogs die. I just lost my cat, she was only 6. She’d been with me since she was 6 weeks old. It was more devastating than I’d have ever imagined.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Yep. Those furry friends. I agree. TYWC - Marty

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Yes you can but it is limited. So try again... TYWC - Marty

@Vudu627 3 года назад

I could be wrong but this seems to be confirmation that I am. I’ve always thought there is something wrong with me. I’ve never told anyone. I’ve be lost in a fog (I guess I’d describe it more like cling wrap over my eyes while I’m in water) for the last 5 years, and at the same time been depressed. I vividly remember a time I was having a conversation with my friend and... how long have I been spaced out like that? It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced because I didn’t just space out, I lost time. But I’ve never told anyone because I don’t want to burden anyone with my problems. In fact those exact words have come out of my mouth more than I can count. Id like to think I’m an infj. I’ve never related to anyone else in my entire life. No one understands me, though I also don’t actively try to let anyone in.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

Two Words: Cognitive Functions Foundation: Enough life experience to be able to know yourself; the true self. TYWC - Marty

@moubhattacharyay6891 2 года назад

Ohh! U Jst Beautifully Explained My All Inner & Outer Conflicts Which I'd Experienced Through That 2020's Period That I Can't Forget Abt That Significant Year Of My Life Of Rebirth Of My Own Consciousness.. I'm Jst Curious Abt Is This Experience Happening With All The INFJ Personalities? Or Jst Some Of Us Destined To Go Through In This Process For Our Soul Awakening??! Coz, This Is The Most Spiritual & Eccentric Thing Is Happening With Some Of Us Which Can't Understandable For Everyone Surrounding Us.. That's Why This's The Most Toughest Part Of Our Life Chaos That We Can't Share This Experience With Anyone To Find A Solution Of It..🙃 Plzz, Sir I'm Expecting A Reply From You Of My Qs If U Notice This..🙏

@marty_glenn 2 года назад

On your other comment... Same to me, what? Not sure what you meant. I read all comments; all of them. The INFJ has a unique way of dealing with conflict and trust and helping others before conflict and or during relationships when conflict is coming the INFJ's way. Since I relate to the INFJ more than any other type most of my videos showcase that type but I believe at some level all types can experience anything I speak about. TYWC - Marty

@zaiab.s.simonsen8164 4 года назад

Thank you so much Marty. 🙏🏻

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

You are welcome and glad you found it worthy of your time. TYWC - Marty

@roxyie1122 4 года назад

I'm lost without lists. I never catch up. It feels like I keep hitting a ceiling. Can't break through. Brain fog = mind and time suck. Its just awful.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Yep. No list and I am done inside of a mind fog of never ending things I cannot seem to complete. Then list it and then it is done. TYWC - Marty

@jimmypace1691 2 года назад

Bravo!!!

@sticks6891 4 года назад

If you don't already you might gain a lot of joy from Jui Jitsu. Specifically Rickson lineage technique.

@sticks6891 4 года назад

Don't take this the wrong way, like it's not so much for physical defence as the soothing nature of the visualization and application of the technique. Always respect your training partner, you don't want to break them because you need them to refine your technique better.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Thank you. I get me. I get your view. I have to be me. But I do appreciate your comment. I get it. Well Said. TYWC - Marty

@aaronridenour5946 3 года назад

This is good

@MsTequilaQueen 3 года назад

Thank you so much for this video.It is helping me to understand my ex boyfriend so much better. I have a question. He is an INFJ. We recently broke up and only now, as I learn about INFJ's, am I understanding more about why and what happened for our relationship to come to such an abrupt end without talking through some of the conflict we were experiencing. He has door slammed me and I am desperate to reach out to him to share all my knowledge and to tell him how much I misunderstood in the relationship only because I didn't fully understand his personality type (eg. Retreating and needing alone time; exceptionally high expectations and coming across as critical etc etc).I am still in love with him and possibly even more so now that I have much clearer insights into him, and believe with this knowledge and greater insights and understanding, we could work things out and have the most incredible relationship. There were so many other levels we connected on and from a living and habit point of view, we were very compatible. I dont want to lose him - although I fear it's already too late.. What can I do to reach out to him or to reconnect? Is it true, that once they have door slammed you, that's it, you're as good as dead? Do you have insights into how best to approach him and win space back in his life and in his heart?

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

Sorry to hear this but remember you are better person now. Keep your head up and the self esteem in tact. Here is my answer to you: What can I do to reach out to him or to reconnect? Always give time to process for both sides. Think in terms of weeks and months and hours and days. That is always a great place to start. Is it true, that once they have door slammed you, that's it, you're as good as dead? Sometimes. Not always. A persons life and what and who they are is not 100% INFJ or ? So that answer is not always fixed. Depends on what happened. This I will tell you though, try a few times and grovel. Leave your ego at the door. The INFJ sees the ego and if so, you are done before you even start. Do you have insights into how best to approach him and win space back in his life and in his heart? Yes. Say Hello and no response. Patience is key and no guarantee but it's all you have at this moment. Remember 'never again' is one thing you control so keep it simple and try. You have nothing to lose. ;) TYWC - Marty

@MsTequilaQueen 3 года назад

@@marty_glenn Thank you so much for coming back to me with kindness. Your honest and direct (yet gentle) response is greatly appreciated and has given me such valuable insights. Much appreciated. Also, thank you for all the work you do to share information about INFJs. Wow. It has been an interesting journey and I wish I had found your channel sooner. Please don’t stop sharing your valuable info with the world. You are a gift.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

You are welcome and my pleasure. As I say: " I do not taker out the trash." That means I know what trash looks like and reads like. Effort is the key to life and a self esteem with the ability to accept that your effort and self esteem might get ignored or rejected but in the end that combination and the ability to get up again and try is the: Key - Marty

@suningchen 3 года назад

Most people reincarnate after life, an INFJ does so during life.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

Funny, I think you might have a valid argument. Nice point. TYWC - Marty

@lanceneal7579 3 года назад

THANK YOU!!!

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

WELCOME!!! TYWC - Marty

@hit2163 4 года назад

it never ends

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Nope. It does not. Sadly. TYWC - Marty

@KMR1776 3 года назад

I can make it stop happening... for the same reasons ...

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

Good for you. Always a work in progress. Always! TYWC - Marty

@KMR1776 2 года назад

My apologies, I often write comments in comment sections as to share insights with others who may read comments for more information on the topic at hand, as I often read comments for the same reason (take a little, give a little). Should write thoughts in a style seemingly less direct towards a person. I don't remember why I said I can stop this process, I think it is repression now.. Ha! Sorry and thanks again!

@anthonyyoung2410 3 года назад

I stop chasing the single red balloon floating around outside my widow and outside my door🧐😢😳🤨😎

@MrGadfly772 3 месяца назад

You should start of the 15 minute mark.

@stevebarr6624 3 года назад

I cant escape it this time...its been so long..I cant catch my breathe anymore...I've never been allowed to get to self peace not ever...I didnt realize it until I watched this podcast...because of my love for everybody I've always been forced to march on feeling like a zombie working through it with no hope for reaching self peace...this is why I've never trusted no one not even God...the only semblance of reasonable for me has been in my head with my imagination and fantasy vision day dreaming my way through life because it was the only way to keep from letting the pieces of my heart down and I still failed..this is why I've felt chiseled in stone lonely for 25 years no matter who I was around or how happy the occasions were suppise to be and why the only semblance of normal I've had was doing for others and the past 3+ years it hasn't even felt good to do that and why I've done maybe 20% of what I use to. Unable to ever stabilize..God and heaven is the only thing keeping me here..last october for th he first time in my life through all the hell I endured for everybody??? I thought of suicide and knowing it's not an option as i sit here lost everything important in life and still it's not enough everybody CV comes to my truck were I have sit and lived since august 2019 to insist I live again right after i do whatctheycneed me to do as i die day by day and can not find the will to stand anymore as everybody blames me for their selfishness..all while calling me a liar and demanding i snap out of it as they go tell people I'm a narcissist..not kidding..everyone so selfish they cant see what's right in front of their eyes that eliminates any possibility of narcissism...a narcissist is not about to give anyone anything and all I do is give..well not so much as it use to I cant even get back to that..now its feels more like were my giving died their taking kept going..i dont think they will ever let me survive..possibly dying with cancer and even if I cared about living anymore I dint think I could find the will to take care of myself anymore..I think it's time to let nature take its course and accept my death sentence and the truth is I let it happen...

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

Never fear what comes for us all. ;) TYWC - Marty

@LarimarCabrera 4 года назад

Okay, so what did you say again ? Lol. I have to replay this whole video.

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

How was it the second time around? Better? TYWC - Marty

@hit2163 4 года назад

thanks u so much

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

You are welcome. TYWC - Marty

@mohitm1911 3 года назад

When our " type " .... Exists " Marty " has to exist ..... That's just how sexy the game is

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

;) That is a compliment right? I'll take it. TYWC - Marty

@mohitm1911 3 года назад

@@marty_glenn a very genuine compliment sir..... And well deserved for the effort that's put in to explain the inexplicable....

@JM-gh1oz 3 года назад

I can't tell you how many times I have quit - nope - walked out of my jobs because I just woke up in the morning and I was like nope! I can't today. I am staying in. I shut my phone off, close the door to my house, make sure there's' no noise and I just stay indoors for weeks at a time. It happened in my first job. I just did not report to work, did not offer any explanation. Of late, because of guilt, I try to hold myself back and offer an explanation coz I am more self aware and know that I am about to go into hibernation or else I will lose my mind. Other times, I just quit coz I know the boss will not give me time off, yet I need to hibernate, so I just walk out. I have since come to the conclusion that I will never be a millionaire coz I hibernate too much. I need to be self-employed, but only in those jobs that allow me the flexible so that I can hibernate at whim. I could never be a doctor, for example. Or a surgeon, for example. In my early childhood, I thought my empathy meant I could be a doctor. I didn't make the grades and went into a different profession which I regretted a lot. But now on hindsight, I realise how hard it would have been for me and my patients. Coz when I need to hibernate, I just go and hibernate and the whole world can go to hell. Then when I come out of the hibernation I am like, what was I thinking! I quit my job???? Oh dear! What am I going to do now! Mind you I was always top of my class, and graduated magna cum laude, but nope! Constant conflict at the workplace means I am always going into self-imposed hibernation. I have now accepted it. Oh my God.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

Always remember it is not what you make that counts. It is what you spend. The binding problem is that society and our own wants and needs make us spend way more than we should and it is this that creates the misery of needing more money so that it can be spent. TYWC - Marty

@JM-gh1oz 3 года назад

@@marty_glenn Yeah. Thats a better way of looking at it.

@roberthypax6275 4 года назад

There's a place where you ask yourself if you are ever going to come back. Or simply remember a thing at all... Like what if I stay here forever? Or even worse, what if the world finds out I am here. If someone would find out I don't know if my brain wouldn't end up under a microscope somewhere in a lab. It's the times I am mostly happy that no one can understand me.

@roberthypax6275 4 года назад

The depression for me comes after the door slam... Then I fight it, I take over, think I won, it comes to fuck me up again, I fight again and again and we do the dance till I win... Or not... Maybe till it leaves me alone. I should stop sharing my shit here

@kimkeck6266 4 года назад

That cracked me up....the part about not sharing your shit here....I think that too on the narcissist channels I watch....but then I think hey it’s my right to have my opinion and my freedom of speech! I won my freedom of speech from a judge when my narc husband was trying to keep things quiet....their biggest fear is exposure!!!! 💪💪💪🌺

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

Well said but the exposure part is a little opinion that I do not share from my own experience but that is not to say that you are wrong. Happy you got your voice back, TYWC - Marty

@marty_glenn 4 года назад

I get it. TYWC - marty

@AngelinaKristina42480 Год назад

Same addiction, the loop, a person can only be sad so long before they get mad being empathetic as we are it feels good to not feel, aggressive aggression and violence is something that I am very good at so good that I surprise myself it's like I was programmed, it's like the fight scenes in the movie The matrix in real time and reality I will always say that I love fighting not only as a sport it is an outlet for me a lot of people are very intimidated by me I come with a warning don't take my kindness for weakness that's not the bear you want to poke the flip side of that is I ruin relationships and people don't tell me things because they're afraid I will dramatically over react and that my friend it's the worst feelings a person can feel makes you mad at yourself and that's the worst kind of madness, it's the build-up and the letdown of self

@AngelinaKristina42480 Год назад

This is coming from a person who wanted to be an MMA fighter who studied all fighting techniques and acquired also the skill of knife throwing and hatchet throwing all to perfection whose main fighting techniques that are used are ninjutsu and then if it goes to the ground moetai I could simply use the thought of fighting and get a dopamine and adrenaline boost anytime I like

@marty_glenn Год назад

This is very funny yet not funny and not wanting or needing to insult or be negative but ... I would shut you down inside of 5 minutes and it would not matter how big you are, nor what you know about techniques and I would not ever even throw a punch or touch you. ;) Would you like to know how and you can pick which defense I use; I will even toss in a 3rd option that I think is spot on and the option that I bet shows who and what you are - besides the only user in my comment section with the worst user name I think I can think of ever seeing. - Marty

@AngelinaKristina42480 Год назад

As far as my username I plan to work on that, thank you for bringing me up with my awareness. I guess you're feeling a little froggy today I have my days too. I wasn't criticizing you by the way, I was just telling you a little bit about myself I grew up in a very physicaly violent household. Besides fighting as a sport music has been my only other outlet in life and I've used both of them to basically survive. I assure you I'm a very delightful person if you ever got the chance to get to know me, I'm your typical infj warrior type girl and even with my upbringing I still have a lot of feminine qualities about myself that many people love

@Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes 2 года назад

"The best thing you can do is leave the INFJ alone and wait for them on their own time. Because if you disrupt it and you get in their way, the INFJ will see that as lack of love lack of trust, and the INFJ will stab you in the face. Let the INFJ be and the INFJ will re-emerge when self and peace are found and you will have your INFJ back." And this is explain why INFJ I want avoid conflict. Because, I don't want to be in this state. This is what happen, when you force INFJ to have conflict, you will see the shadow/demon side of the INFJ, and I think I would be able to destroy everything in this state. Happened to me, with my relationships 3 or 4 times. When he wanted to talk, and I know it would be an argument and the conversation would last a long time. I wanted to go outside the room, go outside, to be alone at calm, to maybe talk calmly after. But he forced me to stay, to listen. And told me : if you leave the room, it's finnish between us (blackmail). And more the conversation last, more things the person says, more the anger grow, every little negativ things the person do or says, increase annoyance gauge. And whats happened : this trance, my body shakes when the anger rises, and I am a demon. I think more kind and clam is a person in normal time, more the person can be the reverse when has anger.

@marty_glenn 2 года назад

Spot on. Very true; all that you said. TYWC - Marty

@JessicaKromrey-vb9vt Год назад

This isn’t true about me I definitely can control it. Already even thankfully it’s a matter of wanting to. Just go outside and be in nature. Thankfully I have been able to master self control

@suningchen 3 года назад

Hey Marty is it possible if you could post the diagram you used in the video for us to download? I would really appreciate it.

@marty_glenn 3 года назад

They are ALL coming. You know I already commented to this. :) * Thank you for the comment. The RU-vid comment system is flawed and sometimes comments get missed or something else happens with them. I am not sure. Sorry for a late response. TYWC - Marty