INFJ & INTJ Compatibility and Comparison: Friendships, Relationships and Dynamics! 

I'm an INFJ and my mom is an INTJ. We get along great and she's often the one who can pull me out of it when I'm in the Ni-Ti loop. Maybe that's why I really enjoyed and connected with the William/Duncan dynamic. We've had many similar conversations :)

So sorry for your loss, David. Thank you for staying strong for all your INFJ friends. We appreciate all you do in helping us understand ourselves.

I'm an INTJ, I don't give a fu^k about manipulating people. I see that as a clear stereotype against my type.

This breakdown was well delivered. I'll be purchasing this book

Stay strong sweets even tho you already know your strength. We're here for ya, always

It can hurt when we're overwhelmed by emotions but our mind wants to Ti it right away, then we're stuck not knowing why we feel the way we do. I wanna buy your book.

I really love this ! I felt that those conversations between the 2 are just like me and my brother ! I'm and INFJ and my brother is an INTJ, and without him I feel like I would be some kind of unhealthy INFJ whose life revolves around pleasing other people ! The way he tells me bluntly and logically what I should do and what I'm doing wrong always stings a little, but I feel like he knows me better than I know myself and he helps me a lot ! My best friend is an INTJ too and she is similar in this aspect ! It's their way of showing they care ! ^^

Interesting... INFJ married 40 years to INTJ. We battled the first 10 years and he still hurts my feelings. But he has pulled me off the ceiling enough times now that I know how to climb down by myself (most days). He is my rock and my grounding. I help him understand why he reacts the way he does when interactions trigger childhood wounds. It takes a lifetime to really know a person...and still love them! Ha! Oh, and I mistyped myself as an INTJ during my working career. After 2-3 more times taking MBTI I realized that all that introverted thinking did not make me a “thinker”...😂 I got sidetracked because I am quite logical...when my emotions are in control (healthy). Now I must read your book David! Take care...grieving is hard, and very private. Hugs!

As an INTJ lady, I appreciate every little nook and cranny that you have mentioned, also acknowledge the humility you possess to accept the flaws in the INFJ type. Deepest condolences on your brother's demise. Love, luck and best wishes to you and for your book. 💐

I donated your book to the library, now other people can read it too. @_@ sneak. Ironically enough I was raised by an INTJ male and he colored the way I think, I tend to get along exceptionally well with INTJs because I never really have excessive outbursts of emotions and never base ANY decisions on emotional whims even if I feel them, that would be very unwise and always regrettable. I always respect an INTJs input because of their level headed approach to decision making, as long as we align morally that is. I have always noticed where an INTJ has criticized me harshly has either overestimated themselves or having judged me as "uncertain" in reality has failed to see that when dealing with me they have either proven themselves to be untrustworthy (shown deception to the extent that my scrutiny of their behavior elicits my reaction as hesitant /:) and rightly so) or their intellectual pride and/or arrogance clouds their judgement that they esteem all other opinions as beneath theirs, therefore why ought I comply or capitulate with anything they say. I mean logic should dictate to them this would be a ridiculous assumption if they were on the receiving end of the same treatment. I love pointing out INTJs own logical errors especially in human relationships.. I'm like well let me show you your blind spot Mr. know-it-all. lol Wreckd. Contrary to popular belief INTJs have pretty intense emotions they just straight up bury them, it's probably why they gravitate to pretty emotional people so they can vicariously express theirs through them. /:) scandalous! lol

I, too, am an IFNJ and I often have trouble making friendships/relationships with other personality types. However, your videos have been helping me understand myself and others better! Thank you so much for your informative and light-hearted videos. I enjoy watching them whenever I have the chance. I look forward to watching your future ones as well! Stay strong and take care 🙂

So very sorry about your father's passing. It is hard to be the one who carries on after your parent dies. You long to spend more time with them. I picked up the phone and started to call my dad, then remembered he was gone. Somebody told me you can't go around the grief. You can't go over it, or under it. You have to go through it, and one day you will be able to think of those who are gone and smile and feel a warmth in your heart for them having been in your life. I didn't know if that could happen, but it does. It's just that the journey there is with a raw heart, and that is very hard. I lost two brothers and my mom in the last eight years. Stay busy and allow yourself to grieve, just as you are. Take breaks when you have to. Best wishes.

Oh Lord, I’m old an your making me want too read about all this INFJ stuff. 😀 Sorry for loss 🤗

I personally know how hard this anniversary is. Grief is a process wheel; so just breathe and remember that this too shall pass. I’ve never stopped missing my dad but time eases the pain of the loss, mostly. It’s been 34 years and I can still cry at a thought.

MBTI + Childhood trauma = perplexing. And to top it off with strong introverted thinking. That might explain why people that get to know the real me. I have been told that I'm my own worst enemy. That was true a couple of years ago, not so much today. And that I live in my own world, that's ok they know me here. Last one, you can't live your life based on how you feel. My response was, do you want to bet? To me there's no other way. Being a sensitive and emotional child. My parents just weren't equipped with the skills necessary besides they had their own issues. My point being, it might be very difficult to be a healthy infj without the proper love and support early on in life. I hope you all don't mind but I like to recommend movies and songs. This movie brought me comfort and is why I'm recommending it. Powder. And Love song by Tesla I'm so very grateful to have a community help me work this puzzle.

Your delivery is really profound. I'm really sorry for your loss. Being an INFJ I shared the same thoughts about a potential relationship I wanted to enter with an INTJ ... however I also came up with these observations. INFJ's although extroverted feelers can be logical too, this is why we enjoy intellectual conversations.. we don't exist as pure feelers especially after maturing emotionally. INTJ's especially mature ones can also learn sympathy because empathy is not something thst comes naturally to them, therefore their conduct will not always be cold. With that said they probably wouldn't always be in logger heads about their decisions. INFJs and INTJs can therefore help each other balance their dominant decision making functions. Which I believe is healthy, with my experience dating other personality types.

Stay strong, David. Thinking of and praying for you. Healing can take a long time sometimes too. Figure though we always search for hope. I used to enjoy watching you and your buds interacting. Figure good for getting you out of your own head, as we sometimes become consumed with our ni-ti loop. Think sometimes we don't take the time to listen to our own feelings.

I greatly appreciate this video as an INTJ and I had purchased your book before I even got half way into the video. I am very excited to read it!

I can totally relate with not quite "bring there" many a time. When asked are you ok? I will be.

Well, now I see it clearly. One of my sisters is an INTJ. It's like a light bulb went off when seeing/reading those passages (I do have your book -- have to read it though and I will!). I've identified years ago that she seems to have little empathy except when it comes to herself. That might be a bit harsh. I'll probably revisit that thought all day. Gee, thanks David! lol

I am so very sorry for your losses. 💔 You do what's best for you.❤ We'll all still be here when you get back.🤗 You nailed these two types right on the head! 🤣 My best friend is an INTJ he's the serious logical thinker. Yes, very opinionated, blunt and definitely the analyst as I call him. Lol Not that I'm not logical but he does bring up some valid points when I can't seem to navigate away from my feeling side. Especially when recently I found myself having to deal with a toxic customer. I will usually get at least one of those about once a year. Entitled ones. Those suck.💔 He doesn't open up to people when it comes to his emotions but, we've been friends for years so, we've grown to trust one another. He leans on me when it comes to needing emotional support as well as getting my advice/input on a few things. Except when it comes to our personal relationships. If there's been a breakup that's a different story altogether. More emotional support than advice there. Now as far as US becoming romantically involved with one another?🤔.... OH NO! 🤣 No, no, no, no! I'm pretty sure we'd drive each other crazy. 😳😂 BUT, with that said he will always be my friend one that I hold near and, dear to my heart.❤

I like this version better. I never noticed much of a difference between a INTJ and INFJ. Both think they are omnipotent, alien-human hybrids. Which is probably true. They dislike being around superficial people yet frequently end up marrying one. They are sweet, adorable and caring individuals. However, if you piss them off they will immediately morph into 'Pennywise the Clown'. You cannot outsmart these MBTI types. They are extremely observant. Most can identify your intentions and motives within seconds. Sometimes even before you speak. They are walking polygraph machines. INFJ's have a problem being around large groups of people. INTJ's have a problem being around anything that is breathing. A INFJ will lament that no one truly understand them. A INTJ doesn't care what people think about them, unless you interfere with their plans on world domination. INTJ's have friends with 'benefits'. INFJ's have 'benefits' but no friends...I have absolutely no idea what that joke means so please don't ask. INTJ’s and INFJ’s are stereotyped as having Old Souls. When INFJ's babies are born their first words are, "Oh please, Not again. Stick me back in." INTJ's knew Adam and Eve on a first name basis. Their real names were Carl and Jennifer. The couple got divorced sometime during the 14th Century. Carl now works at Subway and Jennifer is a receptionist at a Orthodontist office in Cleveland, Ohio. Apparently, God has a sense of humor. A INFJ can manipulate the outcome of a future situations before something terrible happens. A INTJ will crack open a beer, eat potato chips and watch humanity destroy itself because nothing interesting Netflix today. A INTJ will protest the COVID lockdown as a violation of their United States Constitution right called ‘Freedom of Assembly’. A INFJ will run around their house saying, “Free at last. Free at last. Thank God Almighty we are free at last!” INFJ’s enjoy COVID lockdown. It finally gives them the excuse to ‘Door Slam’ mankind forever. No more people, no more problems. . until they develop 'Cabin Fever' and go completely insane. Mature INFJ’s and INTJ’s already know the meaning of life. However, getting a straight answer from them is almost impossible. They will simply smile and say, 'You will discover the truth over time.” Ok. That is really annoying. What do these MBTI’s know that we don’t? A INFJ can manipulate the outcome of future situations before something terrible happens. A INTJ will crack open a beer, eat potato chips and watch humanity destroy itself because theres nothing interesting on Netflix today. INFJ's will scream "Geronimo' when skydiving from airplane. A INTJ will yell, "You forgot your parachute moron!". Cannibals will not eat a INTJ because they are high in cholesterol and generally avoid INFJ’s because they are not Kosher. Whatever might be said about these MBTI types one thing is certain. They will leave a lasting impression on you…..whether you like it or not. They are kinda like Garfield the Cat. But infrequently vomit up hair balls. Sweet, sincere, empathic, intelligent, brutally honest, protective, courageous, weird and wonderful. A universe without such beautiful souls would be diminished in magnificence and grandeur.

I am an intj and my bf is infj. This was all so well said. Love everything about your energy. Buying your book now 💓

This is scary how accurate it is. My intj friend and I literally had a conversation the other day that was near identical to this… he said “There is a right way and a wrong way to do things” and that I didn’t even know I was being controlled by my own emotions. He was scathingly harsh with his evaluation of me… It was hard for me to hear, mostly because I knew he was right. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes. (I’m an infj) Anyway, you’ve got yourself a new subscriber and I look forward to reading your book. It sounds fantastic.

As someone who has scored pretty much on the fence for F vs T and J vs P, I related to both William's and Duncan's characteristics. I can be really strong on either side of the divides, and their tussling reminded me of conversations in my head - with much better dialog. MB seem to have regarded weak or equivocal preference results as indicative of some sort of balance (at least according to what I've read), but it doesn't often feel balanced; more like it draws out the second-guessing. It was really nice to have you illustrate how the characters' differences pushed the story along: interesting video!

Being an INFJ personality, I'm aware its not the best personality and that we have many internal conflics, however, something that I would like to highlight about my personality is that despite being such complicated people, we dont share a bad face or attitude to others. In addition to that, we know that we are capable of improving and growing in the process, we can be in THE VERY VERY SHIT and not take it out on the rest of humanity, our values ​​will always be on the surface. But sure, there are special cases like 'Jesus and Hitler'... 👀👀 I hope you all got my point. And yes, we can use LOGIC, we just know that logic can't always solve all the world's problems.

Thank you! Your book sounds great! I may purchase it.

This is really cool. Really great descriptions of the two identities.

We appreciate you too David. Take care of yourself and loved ones in these hurtfull period. Send you good vides and virtual hugs.

I understand you & love you. It’s coming up on 29 years since my dad’s passing. I think I understand him better now than I did years ago. You are allowed to grieve. Bodies, minds, & hearts are always rewiring. Don’t ever apologize for not uploading videos or posting anything. Small steps, one day at a time and breathe. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

David, you take whatever time you need to process the grief as it usually comes in waves and is triggered by things we don't even think would trigger us. You do you boo! ;) I won't speak for the community, but as for myself, I have my notification bell clicked. I will be here when you post a new video. :) I love the way explain the contrast between the INFJ and INTJ. I have only recently been digging into MBTI and what it means to be an INFJ. I am trying to figure myself out as an INFJ before branching out into the other types. This helped a lot! Thank you! :) I bought your book and am loving it. I am at chapter 17 and am looking forward to the popular chapter 21. :) I'm not much of a reader. It can take me a year to read one book. LOL! So getting to chapter 17 in a month is a marathon read for me. That's how much I love the book! :)

thank you for sharing & being so vulnerable about your father & your authentic human feelings 😌💕 we are here for you & sending you lots of love & light!!! -sincerely another INFJ 🤓

Very helpful analysis of INFJ interactions.

Will be purchasing the book. You got me hooked lol. Btw take as much time as you need with the videos. I always appreciate that you deliver good content. 👍🏼

Howdy 👩🏼‍🌾

Very interesting 👍

Hello. I'm sorry 😔🥰💪You got this! Next week I turn older than this week...😳

I'm getting there...it will be soon...stay well!🥰 Thanks David...🤔now my brain is thinking...😱

YES, BUY AND READ THE BOOK, IT'S GREAT ! 😀👍🙂

Heheheeee..... as an INFJ myself, it as a bit of a face punch....the quotes from your book.... My son is an IFTJ. We get along fine most of the time, but sometimes one or the other just keep silent and walk away. Sometimes I feel like the child and my son feels like the 'silent judgemental' parent. But we're doing okay. We live together in one house, with my husband (ISFP), so we're used to each other.

Hi David! I never trusted Duncan until near the end of the book. I kept thinking he had a sinister motive behind everything he did or said to William, even though it was not obvious. So I shared William's thought process towards him most of the way through. My thoughts are with you during this time, David. Jeff.

I also an INFJ, I Knew there was a reason I liked seeing you and Jaclynn in her jungle or car, lol. I have started following you. I wish I knew of this earlier. Take care.

I really need to read this book. I'll try to access my Kindle docs soon!!! I suck!!! I'm sorry. People often tell me I'm too emo about life. So this led me to have INTJ envy for ~15 years now. Though, for far longer I've had a terrible case of peni-, err, well envy is kinda silly anyway... Take care. If only we could become like stone when it comes to particular loss. 😥

I score equally between the two on the tests. I can choose to make a decision based on emotion or logic. Some days it’s a war inside that threatens to tear me apart sometimes. I have a set of balance scales inside that weighs the situation as to which way to swing lol. I tend to obsess over decisions though. A lot of research and weighing is involved with every decision. Well curious what your thoughts might be great channel

Seems like a thoughtfully planned plot. I have gone through this kind of situation where through conversations, push & pull of rational and irrational discussions, trust and doubts, with a feeler (INFP probably) I was able to improve my relation with that person as an INTJ. We both had trust issues with each other in certain instances earlier. It has been a tumultuous time when this happened, obviously it pierced into my feelings at one point but i believe both of us came out more open, happy and true to ourselves after that.

A bit scary, but also funny. I was thinking about writing a comment with the question to ask you to maybe talk about your opinion about compatibility with other types and here it is x) :o.

Take all the time you need.

This is 100% my husband and I. And OMG, it's a love/hate relationship

I'm sorry that you are in so much pain. It's very difficult sometimes. The sorrow you can feel can almost take your breath away. As cliche as this may sound IT WILL GET BETTER. Not capitals because I'm yelling at you it's just to get my point across. After my dad died it took me 2 years to not expect him to be sitting in his chair. It's been 23 years since he went to heaven. I don't think about him all that much anymore. Not because I don't love him it's just gets easier. "Time heals all wounds." It may not heal them all but they don't hurt so much anymore. Please take care of yourself. Your father and your brother would not want you to be so sad. I hope this helps you. As always thank you for all you do for us. ♥️

Hi, can you do a video about infj being the leader/cult leader trope? Pls?… 👀🙂 That is unless you’ve already done that one

I've been plagued in my own story idea about having two main characters with similar characteristics. One is an INFJ at heart, a character who's caused irreparable damage and can't forgive themselves. The other had been floating a bit. I think that an INTJ might be able to bring out that contrast, but I've also considered an ISFJ for competing methodologies.

Can I just send you a big hug right now?

U was the caretaker of my family and I'm an intj female, who has unfortunate feelings for a narcissistic infj

I am currently so lost in my life that I could really use a close INTJ to guide me a bit... But I don't think I have any close INTJ :(

Especially in fields like theology the difference between Extraverted Thinking and Extraverted Feeling can be a huge obstacle to overcome. INFJs tend to read biblical texts with regard to social harmony and well-being of the tribe often skipping parts contradicting this view while I just try to figure out what’s in the text no matter whether people like it or not.

I think I common misconception with these two has to do what other people define Fe, Fi, Ti, and Te. Fe is about caring what the group values, and Fi is more caring about what the individual values, it doesn’t have to do whether one only cares about what other people feel and not what you feel and what you feel and what other people feel. Te more has to do with what other people around you think what is logical and what makes sense, and Ti is about when one thinks about what they think logical, it doesn’t mean that Te users aren’t capable of logical or rational thought, and that Ti users are the people that are only capable of logical thought. It really pisses me off when people think that INFJ’s are INFP because they complain about their feelings and aren’t able to bring up evidence in arguments, and that INTJ’s are INTP’s because they can give evidence and they are lot more disconnected from their own emotions.

Man I love INFJs!

I remember. You told me your brother's name was John. John is Ivan in Croatian. Your father knew that 😊. We love you David xxx

Ohhhhohohoho the irony. Saved to watch later.

May you find solace in your griefs.

I'm an Infj woman and I want so bad having a certain intj as my friend. She is so peculiare. But she don't permit me to come into her personal space, she don't contact me, but usually I contact her. But on what's up she is always cold and use only few words for answering, sometimes she don't answer me at all. 🤷‍♀️ But when I call her (when she Pic up the phone 😅) she open up very well to me and she is always in according with my thoughts with all that I tell her, and her voice seems so sweet and very kind to me. Like we are on the same line of thinking. Then she turn to get so cold, when I contact her on what's up. The paradox is, I talked to her mum for the first time few days ago, presenting me to her. And I said to her mum that I like her (that certain intj girl) so much!!! 💕 Her mum answered me:"I know." 😯🤔 wow I thought, she talked about me to her mum? If she did that means she think about me also or more😬❤️. What can I do to conquer her heart being only good intimate friends, because I like her too much,and think about her everyday 🥺.

McCoy vs Spock!!!🤣🤣🤣

Are you planning to do a series of this?☺️

Hey David, will your book be on Audible in the future?

As an INFJ, I too greatly distrusted Duncan(even though I logically knew that David wouldn't write Duncan as a 100% bad guy...That would be too obvious lol). I tend to love INTJs a lot(maybe because my stats are nearly 50/50 on T VS F), but Duncan really highlighted my main "issues" with INTJs. ...and it didn't help that Duncan occasionally called me out(through calling out William) 😂 And even now, with my post-reading-the-book brain, I am not quite sure what I think of Duncan. He's a great character, but he just shines a light on too many of my issues for him to be an easily likeable character to me. He is more complicated than that, I guess. Which is great! David wrote Duncan with so much depth, that I have emotions about Duncan(though they may be confusing and sometimes negative lol), as though he were a real person. I think that means that David wrote him pretty perfectly lol

7:20 "INTJ's are human..." "Humans do have an amazing capacity for believing what they choose and excluding that which is painful."' - Spock. Ni apprehends images from the a priori'. Te-rriFi-c content, David Badurina

Match is a complete dumpsterfire because the INFJ doesnt value the parent function (te) of the INTJ and to them everything is just `subjective truth`, and they dont value pragmatism which drives an INTJ crazy ... this relationship is a trainwreck

I felt the same way about my father, 6*4*61/6*10*17. My baby brother was murdered 3*26*95/11*2*13 same mother 10*20*60/11*31*97

I have had some interesting intellectual ping ping matches with INTJs. However, the vibe is always a bit off for me in terms of friendships or relationships. Also, many of the INTJs I have encountered have an over inflated ego...not cool for me.

You know you’re an INFJ when you feel compelled to comment “as an INFJ…” or “I am an INFJ and…”

Duncan is an underdeveloped intj, too brash. Or it's cause I'm a female and in the midst of an infj male, I'm softer, but with other men I'm brashif they keep trying to make the conversation as though we are not on even footing

#Coloratura, ColdPlay...