Is there Still Hope of getting YOUR AVOIDANT EX back 

This is SO spot on. It's impossible to reach their standards.

Wow. Spot on.

My avoidant doesn't know he's an avoidant. We are in 100% no contact. Will he reach back out to me, only to have this all repeat again?

@@cynthiadesimone1668 Don’t do it.

@@cynthiadesimone1668 If you truly believe he is, avoid and save yoursef pain. My avoidant, after over a year of no contact, and blocking my #, came back 2 months ago asking if I wanted to see a movie. I did, we went to eat after, and she left. She couldn’t wait to see me the following weekend, or she jumped my bones, told me I was the greatest person in the world, told me she made the biggest mistake in the world, she didn’t want to really end it at that time, and she hopes that I’ll give her another chance. Told all friends and fam we were getting back together. Told me of her 5yr plan of buying a house together and getting married. That lasted maybe about a month, and one argument, the first argument we ever had, ever, on the phone, which was more like a disagreement, haven’t heard back since and it’s been a few weeks. She’s gone again. And she wonders why I told her “it’s going to take TIME for me to build trust in you again after leaving me outta the blue for good the first time.” Gotcha this time, bitch.

Straight up

It is because they do not like being advoidant but that is how they are natured. This is my theory so they try but cannot as well.

They are seeking for shit which they actually deserve 🤣🤣

Keep asking him and myself this very same thing.

Because they don’t want to be that way but can’t help it

Child 😂

True Words right here. Don't worry about Chasing Women. Chase this instead $$$$$$$ with a Smile on your Face.

Exactly! It always takes me awhile to let go and get to this point but I can say I am finally there. Dived into focusing on myself heavily today!

True

Amen

Will be trying this starting tomorrow.

​@@Bluepearl187update

I didn’t know my ex is an avoidant until I came across this video . He ghosted me all of a sudden broke up with me for no reason. I feel so terrible as I have never been treated like that in my whole life. What confused me is one minute he wants me the next he is not sure for 3 days now I am so down…

Be glad they are making someone else crazy😂

@@Ytdeletesallmycomments I wouldn't wish it on either of the two parties tbh lol

@@egoispower ah well this demons brings grows into the light 😂

Let them be someone else's reason for waking up at 3am every night in anxiety over what THEY did but somehow you are responsible for.

Thanks for explaining it this way… interesting 👍🏽

I learned something today. Thanks. It’s gonna be a long journey to fix that and a lot of coaching day by day when it comes for an avoidant to change and to be relaxed.😊🙏🏽

My thoughts exactly. Stay over there!

Wow September same here bro. I know how it feels man. Keep fighting !!

Damn... I think you have to let that man go if he cheated... Cheating is a choice.

🤞🏿

If my guy ever said that to me, I'd be like.. find a better woman who doesn't bother you as much. Bye dude!

Did she come back?

@@lukaszpasternak3427 nope. Gave up . Reaching out a couple times by text. And no response moving on

Im wondering same. I have same story. Dated for 7 monyhs and it was so good and so intimate. It ended so abruptly and ive now hot anxiety and on meds. It was so hot and cold and asking to communicate only pushed her further to the point she left….😢

​@@Autohousekoupestop blaming yourself first off..people who have anxious attachment style are the first to put all the blame on themselves.. you didn't know any better, avoidants are simply wired to be avoidant unfortunately,and they were like this long before you came in the picture weather they themselves realize or admit (a lot of them will gaslight their experiences and their partners but not purposely like narcissist) it's a trauma response they have of "I am defective" wound that they suffer from, and until they get down to the root and cause they will unfortunately continue to operate on auto pilot and not even recognize when they are deactivating on the people who love and care for them it's a self sabotaging manifestation they cycle in over and over until they get it..the best thing you can do for the BOTH of y'all is focus on yourself forgive yourself for not knowing better and eventually forgive him or her too which is really hard for anxious people especially sense avoidants tend to leave their partners blindsided and no logical closure which seems cruel,cold snd cowardly..all you can do is move with grace dont reach out and 100 percent focus on YOU avoidants are catalyst for teaching anxious about SELF LOVE which is something we need anxious people often give their all and everything in relationships and then get disappointed when the same energy that is not returned it is important to figure out WHO YOU ARE TOO so please keep this in mind!..hope this helps a little bit

It’s so mentally damaging… the subtle push & pull. My x & I had the most loving relationship & best friend vibe…. After 6.5 years & 3 annual conversations about ‘ where do u see us going in commitment / marriage” abrubtly ended because full commitment was too overwhelming. I feel so damaged confused & literally LOST … redefining my life & now in therapy for it 😢

literally broke up with my DA gf yesterday. trying not to go crazy as an anxious already...

Beautiful,I am kinda in a similar situation, how did you handle it

well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer who help me out.

please how can i reach out to her i really need her help

her name is Eliana Zaituna Hernandez,and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster you can look her name up online and you will find all you need instantly.

I just reached out thank you very much

Update

Mine to yesterday sent me a text, saying happy valentine's my love

@@irenewanjiru3846 lol so confused 😂

@@benithacalloway8286 am telling you 🤣

It means they're probably just lonely and checking to see if you’ll take the Breadcrumbs. Tread carefully.

Testing, loneliness and breadcrumbs all at the same time. Go no contact to focus on you

What did you do to her? She’d still not over you. Stay with no contact and do you. Soon or later she’ll realize what she missed.

@@benithacalloway8286 during the days when our relationship was still good and wonderful, some unknown female (which i dont know till this day) leaked some information about me involving girls that i used to communicate with before we decided to get in a relationship (which i honestly till this day on god never did i ever cheat). During the last few months before our break she kept on saying i had GIRLFRIENDS!! (im still confused even now because she was my only girlfriend) so i thought maybe she was just looking for a way out so she can carry on with the older guy. She then dumped me, thats it..

Update please

She sounds more narcissistic than avoidant because avoidants like to run avoid hide they are typically NOT big social media people and usually don't do the whole drama thing on social media because they don't like to draw that type of attraction to themselves.. some times avoidants get confused with narcissist because they share the same core wound and beliefs but they are very very different as to the reasons WHY they do what they do narcissist feed off of personally hurting other people, dismissive avoidents don't typically do that...

I've had some come back later then that. Some coaches say at the 3 month mark u can reach out and see if anything sparks cause u have nothing to lose @ that point. I'd say continue to not. Give it more time. But if u do happen to reach out b prepared for it being the final closure. And don't bring up anything about the break up. Small talk etc. How u been. What's new. Etc.

He wants to breadcrumbed you. Stay no contact till he says something valuable

@@benithacalloway8286 i was the one who broke up wd him and he didn't want the break up. i just told him that i just need it now but i promised him i will be back just not ready now for commitment.. knowing DA they feel abandoned, so i decided to check his stories just to let him feel that I am a person of my word. I dont want him to move on because he feels abandon, i am just giving him space.. DA just needs space and giving him the break up is enuf space.. i dont talk to him or reacts to his stories or posts, I decided to view his story it to make him feel i am here and i care.

Update please

@@benithacalloway8286 hey no girl he never came call back we probably think about each other sometimes I’m not expecting him to come back I told him how I felt 6 months ago and keep it like that he was a Aquarius I invest my time in relationship and a person to tell me he don’t want to be with me one day then asking for sex the next plus he had financial issues and drinking problem I been there for him and he tried too but he know what he did it’s ok my heart was broken but u live and learn I work on myself and good things came out of it went to school working out keeping myself busy not getting to a relationship rn I got men asking me out but I declined cause focus on school and work for now 😊

@@yaasy77smart1 good job! Once you realize there’s no change after giving them a second chance the best thing is to sign out never sign back in . I’m happy for you. Keep working on your new version of you. Me the same just couldn’t take it anymore. I’m trying to get on my fret as we speak

@@benithacalloway8286 yes girl I don’t do second chances once I’m done I’m done don’t have time to play games it’s been 6 months it get lonely but when love come it comes if it doesn’t hey I’m stress free girl that’s why I tell people focus on u I mean if u really focus on u usually he come back but I wouldn’t even dare respond “BE THE BEAT VERSION OF U LUV”

Well if you’re in no contact, why are you keep responding to her messages? Ignore her until she says something significant (if you want her back, of course)

I read abt it in the book “attatched “ and in the small study it said no

I would say the one in the middle unless there’s a switch to you 😂

Imo it's a rebound. Healing from a long relationship takes time.

Stay with no contact properly. Don’t chase don’t beg. Do you get busy later on he’s gonna get curious about you and if contacting you get back very slowly and calm. DONT ACT NEEDY. That’s attractive.

Sometimes yes, to test the waters.

El mío ha vuelto dos veces y se ha vuelto a ir. Seguro que vuelve. Si no ha vuelto ya cuando te mando este mensaje.

If you do the NC chances are he will.

@@francarr346 we have been in no contact for 21 days,but is it okay to be with someone who leaves you and comes back esp when you question their mistakes

Short answer is yes. But YOU MUST focus on you. When you work on healing, value your self-worth and practice no-contact is you best chance. But when you do all these things, you begin to ask the question "do I even want them back?".

@@hanzohattiori1737 how are you saying that he'll be back?

@@_krithika_k go no contact,,,let him miss you

They're twin brothers. I'd say a narcissist is always an avoidant but an avoidant doesn't have to be a narcissist. My ex was a covert narcissist and a massive DA

Sorry for what you are going through. Things will get better in time

Was your partner an avoidant too?

@@blacademic Hello. Just wanted to let you know that Jesus loves you very much. He is coming back very soon and He wants you to be ready. Just go to Him as you are. You don’t have to be perfect. The only thing He requires is a full surrender of your life. Go to Him and give Him your life and everything. Once you surrender everything (from the heart). He will give you The Holy Spirit in His fullness. The Holy Spirit will then give you faith, the power to overcome sin, peace, fulfillment and above all, eternal life. You cannot do it on your own strength. It’s only by the Holy Spirit. And you get The Holy Spirit once you lay everything down, including your life at The Lord’s feet. He says in His Word “Not by might, not by power but by my Spirit”. People think Christianity is boring. That’s because they see it as a religion. Christianity is not a religion, but a personal relationship with Jesus Christ who loves you and gave Himself for you. Having a relationship with Christ is the most joyful fulfilling thing you can ever have. Jesus changed my life and He wants to change yours as well. The reason we are all here is to fellowship with and have a relationship with God.

Yes

We were together for 5 months and 1 month of that was waiting for them during the holidays and exams to see me but the moment I got needy ab missing them and waiting to see them.. they dumped me. We had a great connection and so on and then it ended. I wanted a serious relationship and we both care for eachother but they said.. they are not in a situation where they are available for a relationship.

Not after a breakup. You do not prove them right by staying there. They are seeking space and distance. Forcing things after a breakup with an avoidant is one of the worst things you can do

@@blacademic what if they are considering it a break?

⁠@@joeysauceit really is a break, a space for them to breath alone and a time to miss you. Time is on the dumpees side

Why are you no contact since you want them back

FWB

Lol 😂

Wow your situation is just like mine. It’s just so hard & makes no sense :/ we love them so deeply, so sincerely… no conflicts … yet they have to avoid. I’ve been crying for over 3 months… trying to move on yet secretly hoping he’ll return to our love. Ugh Hugs to you & I get it, struggling too ❤️‍🩹

@@jodijodi6228praying for you💜💜 I have and will always believe that what’s meant to be WILL be. An update: me and him got back together and even went to therapy together. We talk out our feelings much more now. Everything is out in the open and no more bottling our feelings. If your relationship was pure and healthy, then I wish nothing but the reformation of it and I hope you two will be able to reconcile and be stronger than ever. Sometimes it truly does take the distance to realize how much you want to be better for the other person. Only time will tell if you guys are better together or apart. Don’t listen to anyone on here saying “if it was meant to be you’d still be together” or “if it was real you guys would have worked it out without breaking up” because that’s just not the case. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE is so different. Every RELATIONSHIP is different. LOVE is different. Keep praying on it my love💜