I wish I wasn’t jealous of anyone, but I just can’t help it, I really want fix this. Whenever I get jealous I get so heated for some reason and it ruins my whole day and mood
Exactly while the rest of us know we never going to be like the celebrity’s. 😒I mean it’s possible but I’m just being honest that I just don’t see my self with the dreams I dreamed of.
People do not like to admit they are envious because it means that you are admitting that you think you are not good enough. Envy is just an angrier way to show one is insecurity.
Admitting you are envious of another man is an admission of inferiority.Therefore no man likes to admit to that.But Enviness is a natural Phenomenon and not the real problem.The problem is not knowing how to deal with it.
Every girl I met told me I deserve "another girl" and they just delegate that chance to another person, which are limited, while she's hooking up with others that don't deserve having a girl in the first place. I'm therefore in an eternal loop of loneliness.
It's even worse when you're jealous of your best friend. I love them and I do not think that they don't deserve what they have BUT deep down I wish I had what they had. I am in conflict with my own self and I hate myself just for even being envious of other people let alone my best friend.
Me to, but just know its completely normal. But keep doing stuff that make you feel good. Start small, clean you room and take care of yourself, then step by step keep doing good things for yourself. Most important is to keep desciplined
I feel the same way. I’m glad that the people I know are genuinely happy with their lives, but it sucks that I can’t experience happiness thanks to depression.
I’m proud of everyone that actually searched this up to confront their negative traits and work on themselves. This was such a refreshing perspective. Thank you Mel 💜
Most people who envy came from a toxic place. Parents whom compare their children to others, bringing them down. The feel like they're not enough all the time.
I think you are right, they havent been shown love so it becomes resentfulness over time. They then look at others and say well they dont deserve happiness!
I don't really think so. You can have a good up bringing and still be jealous or envious of other people simply because you do not have what they have. I think those who are brought up well are able to cope and deal with it better than people who come from toxic homes.
@@raven-kn6lv same. My family, my friends and my social media is has positive aura. But there is dark envy in my personalities... i can't control it...
This was great, thanks, been searching for "what are the signs of an extrovert?" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Deyriannal Startling Dominance - (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now ) ? It is a great one of a kind guide for discovering how to stop your shyness and anxiety issues without the normal expense. Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my colleague got excellent results with it.
Envy has two parts. One part is that you want what the other person has. The second part is that if YOU can't have what the other does, it should be taken away from that other person. This is a very toxic belief that people should work to rid themselves of. Do the best you can and don't worry about others......
I feel this way. I'm so caught up in it that I wish this person would dissappear or just suffer. that would make me happy. I hate her and she have everything I want. she's younger and better. I watch her grew up from trash to gold. I hate seeing her happy. it boils my blood. sometimes seeing her makes me cry
I think realizing how toxic and pathetic envy and jealousy is, is a sign you are a kind person that deeply doesn’t want to feel this way❤ it’s a good thing. Turn that envy/jealousy into fuel to make urself grow and heal. I saw this saying which was “ if you are always happy at the success of others, you will be happy often.” That’s so sweet.
Indeed. This is scary as f. Sometimes i get random recomendations i don't need but realise some days later i did need them. Its like they even can tell the future. Technology is scary. I don't like this
I never knew what caused my depression until just about an hour ago. My friends went to get their nails done. They sent me a picture and I immediately burst into tears. That’s when I knew that I wasn’t ok
Yup i get the feeling of being excluded, or not being able to relate from your friends. This feeling of missing out is similar to what you felt i would cry on the spot and worse have panic attacks, once i would have been aware of the thing that caused me to feel envy.
I feel happy that I get to recognize this feeling of jealousy. I am constantly jealous whenever someone gets higher recognition than I have. I always want to be on top of everything, and it's sickening. Now, I realize that it is up to me to use this feeling to be better or worse.
Focus on yourself and on your own path, look outside for inspiration because you want to improve yourself and become a greater version of yourself. If they can have it, you can have it too, and there's absolutely nothing that you can not achieve!!
Knowing truth is bliss I bet those same people who supposedly look “better” than you would also like to have some of your positive traits, such as intelligence, personality, kindness, ect. We can play this game with anyone. Physical appearance is way overvalued in today’s society. There are so many more amazing traits that people don’t see on the outside. God only created one of you and no one else can be you better than yourself. So be proud and happy of yourself and don’t worry about what others have that you might not, cause I can assure you that there are things about you that they want too.
@@knowingtruthisbliss2717 I will NEVER be miss world. I have the Holy Spirit lights my road and Heart. When you buy a homeless person food and a bottle of water let that be your beauty. In the ens it's the beauty that counts. Kind regards from Ireland Kate. 👱♀️🇨🇮💖💖💖💖
I have never gotten jealous for materialistic things, but I have gotten jealous of someones happines when I feel down or when I fail at something. I try to catch it while it's happening but it's sometimes hard. It doesn't last long and I get over it pretty quick but it's a sucky feeling.
I get jealous of peoples life and spiritual happiness because I feel like I’m fundamentally not as good as them so I’ll never get to experience what they experience everyday of their lives and that I’ll always be unfulfilled
Not to bore anyone with my rambling just wanted to say a few words.I'm also a very jealous and insecure person. I hate that about myself but it's really hard to change my toxic ways cause my parents have always compared me to others and belittled me..for days I've hated myself and felt like a horrible piece of shit. I never really hurt anyone in jealousy but I think I hurt myself a lot. Because I wanted to be a good person who just doesn't feel these horrible emotions.I say this not to justify my thoughts and feelings but to state that this can happen to anyone. But at last I accepted that it's in human nature to be jealous and insecure...just don't be too harsh on yourself or you will suffer. Remember to never hurt the other person in your jealousy . Bringing other people down will never help you and you'd probably hurt an innocent person who's just trying to live their life. Try to find a productive way to feel better. Do things that make you apriciate yourself. Earn your confidence by doing substancefull things. You don'thave to do great things even the littlest things like helping your mom or writing a poem can change your mindset.Or even better try to find the source of your insecurity and try to understand how to deal with it. Remember the solution of pain is in the pain in itself. I hope I made sense and wasnt too preachy. I just wanted to help anybody who's feeling jealous and insecure and hating themselves or can't escape their toxic patterns. It is a toxic trait but it is also natural and can be solved by talking sound measures.It's important to talk bout complex emotions and not just demonize yourself or people when they feel them. We're not born as good people, we fuck up a lot and learn to be somewhat good as we mature...I think.thas all. Good luck to everybody out there♡
Also there is this thing where People who did that, stay just a average life. You get motivated from getting jealous and envy which God made so you can get better. Everything was created to balance your life. No matter how much times they try to help you it's something you just can't get over with. It gets even worse when u get older. The older womans are more jealous and envious. I notice guys flex for fun but womans think about them self so heavy that the ego kills them. Guys: will find the solution right away: Damn his killing it I wanna be like that too. Time to get a job and kill it. Womans: why she deserves it? what a bitch,, The funny thing is This happen since 152 AD. Japan emperor has a long history of writing things down and it's something that has been coming down for years. Thats why you see all these womans wiriting things in internet and try to find comfort from people around they wanna hear the ultimate. " I would be like that too if I were you.. you ok ". There is problem with this. They actually think they are right and not wrong. that's why you see all these lonely womans writing and talking all day to a strangers and if one agree's she gets comfort and feels like she's right again. That's why so man humans come to army and finally see's their selfs because they straight tell you how u are really quickly. If you have someone scary watching over you, You can't be negative anymore.
I don't feel envy so much as I feel stupid when someone else is doing better than me. I feel like I haven't worked as hard or that I just have bad luck or misfortune. I might have a second of "Why them? Why not me?" But as soon as I say it, it's gone. I feel they must've worked harder or had better luck and that the world just does what it does.
I've definitely been struggling with my friendships with people who married into extremely rich families, retire at 28 and spend their days shopping and going to the spa while I work 2-3jobs to cover my families rent. Its been hard for me to be around them, but i dont know if its envy, just extremely unrelatable anymore for me and I dont know how to handle it. I enjoy their friendship but its hard to explain how much I can't afford that they never think twice about.
I don't know if this will help..but I have learned that material objects do not bring true happiness. Maybe temporarily it does, but, I feel that true happiness comes from within. Like being a hard worker like you are. And being good to other people. And above all..love. There are different types of success in life. To me, you are successful and down to earth. I admire hard working people.
@@rosed. that's a great point. I try to never compare but also comparing is somehow part of being human and part of me does want that $5,000 jacket- I know it changes nothing about my happiness or me as a person, but it sure looks nice on :) and I wonder what it would be like to be able to buy 5 of those without thinking or having to save for a few years.. it's not even jealousy, more like curiosity and wishing I didn't have such expensive taste :)
@@AddieWagenknecht I can understand that...it's a luxury to be able to do that, & there's no harm in being curious. I hope that I didn't offend you with my reply. And, you never know..maybe one day you will win the lottery☺
I'm jealous of my friends because I'm the only one who doesn't have experience in relationships and I hate it when they talk about it. I'm also jealous to them because they're getting more friends than me and they are way more popular in both social media and in reality and I'm always the one who is left in shadows and unappreciated and I hate that feeling. To control my jealousy and envy, I disconnect with people and do some things that I enjoy like working out, long walks, travelling etc. and I'm not telling them or anyone because I feel like they wont care if I tell them.
SAME! My best friend love to show off and always interrupt me , i wanna be social but she always steel opportunities for that and i l left feeling unheard, i always feel awkward and unsociable when we are together in a social events but when i am alone I'm social and have fun with it , also she always trying to prove that she is right and i should agree to everything she say ,i feel i am in constant competition , i am so exhausted at this point i don't know if it's just envy or hate , but i can't do anything coz she didn't harm me directly and i feel guilty to feel this way ''may be she just being herself, and im a bad person to think like that" it's a circle of guilt and envy, also i spend most of the time with her (not by choice)so i feel exhausted and in a bad mood all the day i don't know what to do .
I start feeling jealous for the most irrational reasons, most common being ones with having a good social life. Even though I'm able to identify this feeling as unnecessary, it just hits deep down. I want to appreciate people and feel happy for them but I also want to fix myself first. I'm happy I found this video and was able to read experiences of others too, thanks!
I’m 45 now. I feel like I’ve finally experienced enough to see that the grass is not greener. I never envy someone else’s relationship, career, family dynamics, marital status, and am happy for their successes because I’ve been where they are and I know that there is no monopoly on love or success. This is a great TALK! There’s enough to go around! Thank you, MEL! You are a true gem in this world.
Been struggling with envy and jealousy because of witnessing all the blessings others are receiving while struggling with so many things falling apart in my own life. Asking God to help me overcome this toxic emotions.
I'm envious of everyone enjoying their lives whilst I have MS and can't walk more than 5 mins. I envy everyone not having a worry in the world whilst eating animals and calling each other good people
Before even watching this I am already so jealous of how many subscribers you have EDIT: I am happy for you Mel there is enough to go around, there is infinite abundance and possibilities
It's a problem for everyone, I think it's a feeling just like hate, love, sadness all of them are natural and humans shouldn't feel bad but they should be in control of those feelings
I love this message. Have the mindset and belief... Abundance - there's enough for everyone, you're not in competition with anyone. Be happy for others, it's a sign that it's possible, you're on your way and it's coming to you.
I won’t waste my time celebrating what I don’t have, but I won’t punish others for having something but I rather just not focus on them if it’s bringing me down. Being happy for them is giving them attention so I rather just ignore it all together. Not that I don’t wish them the best but I rather put my energy somewhere else
Naughty Aj so true. When my brother died at 35, that truth hit me. He left his youth and his worldly possessions but gained a purified soul before death and a one way ticket to heaven.
It's hard not to be envious when at my age everyone is getting relationships and marriage and I can't even get someone to spend time with me much less get in a relationship, I feel like everyone else is in on a secret no one will tell me, and I shouldn't stoop to lowering myself to uggly disgusting guys just to find love, neither should I have to kidnap someone and force them to love me... Its a horrible feeling situation and cycle and its not fair, I try not to be like this but I don't understand... I'm stuck
Thank God! I never felt this way and I pray it should be so forever.... When close friends and family are getting more successful, it's makes me happy and more happy because I believe am the next one in line but if it's opposite, it's makes me feel fear for my life... I don't why.... It's makes me happy and gives me hope to see people on higher levels. Well said my lady❤️
I completely understand what you mean. I feel lucky when the closest people to me have great things happen to them, I dont feel jealous for some reason. If I did feel envious or jealous of others & what they have, I think 💭 "The Spirit world & the universe would do something to remind me how lucky I am to have a wonderful husband, 4 fabulous healthy children (+1 baby girl miscarried now in spirit world), a lovely home, food in our tummies, fresh water to drink, a car to drive & the health that we do have ~ especially the miracle I was given when the hospital saved my man after 2 heart attacks & a cardiac arrest. I may be disabled but I am forever grateful for the abundance of all amazingly great things in my life❣"
Its natural to feel envious when someone else gets something you want for yourself as it shows you are interested in that thing as if you weren't interested it wouldn't bother you. Its when envy turns into nasty actions is when it causes problems!
There are some things you can't change which have big impact : your height, frame of your body and the way you look. And since we're living in a world where you have to be beautiful, intelligent etc to get someone to love you or want to be with you. Yes it's real
When you see somone having what you want, tell yourself "I know what I want and Its possible for me too." "I can have that too." "I can work towards that" "Good for them!" "They deserve it." "We can all be successful togther"
I have being envy of people right and left this last week and it just got so much stuck in my head that I have lost focus on my other life plans that I was working on . Thank you for the advice it really cleared my head of this toxic feeling .
I needed to come here and thank you for these words. It's been around three or four weeks I watched and internalized this video, and the change I feel in my life is unbelievable, undescribable! abundance is the key word.
I am crying after watching this, I always compare my life on my friends' lifes, the celebrities I adores life... Literally everything i can get envy to , I get envy to. Thank you for reminding me that the success of others was a sign that It is really possible and that there are something a lot for everybody.
Today i think, first time i feel this at age of 21 🤣 and I never want to feel jealous or envious again ,it feel like i had become a negative crappy personality for a short amount of time
I feel envious most of the times. But i know it, i know that i'm envious. It sucks. But not that bad when i know envy is presenting. But it keeps coming back again and again.
Y'know I started to feel envy when I started middle school when I saw someone on the internet that is good at drawing it's been two years now, it started to get serious when my hair was starting to fall out from stress I'm glad I found this 😃☺️💗
I have never felt envy/jealousy. It is simply a trait that I will be forever thankful for. I have always been genuinely happy for others - it means that if my friend or family member succeeded, then I can too. There truly is plenty of good to go around.
Thanks Social media 👏 I have a friend that gets so angry whenever she sees people on Instagram with a baby bc she keeps trying and can’t have one . She’s literally depressed every day saying what did these people do right . Sending her this video
Thanks so much for this. I recently just started my professional career in IT. I used to look at my friends profile on LinkedIn and he was Senior IT / two times my level of rank and I am still at the bottom of the pile and used to think he doesn't deserve it. Until I heard that success is obtainable for everybody not just a set selection of the population.
Theres a girl in my school,she is always recognised by everyone and here i am sitting in a corner...i dont even have true friends to begin with..But looking at whatever social media things like Snapchat or ig,i always see photos or videos of her with her friends...laughing and hugging each other while i just stay at home alone..i have social anxiety and its just like i feel uncomfortable outside of my house..i cant express myself to others and i can only be myself at home ALONE..it makes me so emotional thinking about it.Just bc of her having friends makes me wanna change lives with her and b jealous of her. Everyday i just stay on my bed without texting or calling anyone...but even having to eat with other people or like a dinner with my OWN FAMILY makes me uncomfortable bc like what if they judge for my way of eating..what if i have something on my mouth?Ik they dont care but my stupid brain cant think otherwise... Looking at that girl makes me think she is perfect and has a perfect life..she even has BOY BESTFRIENDS.. She has like 100 friends how is that possible? I wanna change myself completely from my looks to my personality but ofc thats not possible..im literally crying..
I feel you. You don't have to suffer. Seek therapy. I tell you it works. Ask for help from someone from your family or literally anybody!. I know it's difficult but please try.
I am never envious or jealous. I realize the person with the new bag, boyfriend, car, shoes, jewelry will eventually go through their junk and throw it on the curb. They are just things. The person who wants those things is suffering inside.
I want to add to this. The feeling itself isn't the enemy. It's natural, you're allowed to feel it and not suppress it with forced happiness. But once it slows down, then you need to let the positive thoughts and patterns suggested in the video to flow over it and continue working towards your goals.
It is the first video that i watched on jealousy because really feeling it, and i learnt the point. When someone gets an opportunity or any good thing, 1. JUST SEE IT AS A SIGN OF POSSIBILITY, if he/she can have that thing that is a sign that you can have that too. 2. REALIZE THAT THE OPPORTUNITIES AND THE THINGS YOU WANT ARE NOT LIMITED, THEY ARE INFINITE AND ARE IN great ABUNDANCE so if someone lives your dream in any way, then realize that your dream is still possible in some other way. Just look around and find your own opportunity. If you don't see any, then create the dream you want to live. "IF HE CAN DO, I CAN DO" ( M. Ali Jinnah)
I have a coworker right now who is extremely envious of me. She was born in another country where the "All American" blonde, blue-eyed woman is viewed as the ideal beauty. I am also tall, in shape, and confident, which are additional traits that she doesn't possess.
Excellent video Mel! I have two friends that are bitter and unhappy constantly about anyone that has success or money and I have actually had to distance myself from them because they are so negative about everything in life. Being a very positive-minded person, I found myself constantly trying to help them see the bright side of every situation that bothered them but sometimes it just becomes too much of an uphill battle. I pray they will change. Thanks for sharing 😊
I have been feeling jealous of everyone lately I have been by myself this entire pandemic trying to work on all my flaws it just seems like everyone takes for granted what I would die for and now that I'll be 42 next month my dreams of being a wife and a mother have went down the drain, man I've made so many mistakes maybe I need a break from social media 😪
OMG this is what exactly I needed to hear ! I can’t thank you enough for this short but useful clip. I’ve been battling with myself because of my envy with the people around me. I’ve been asking myself why I can’t have what other people have? And then I stumble upon this video and now I know how to re arrange my way of thinking. Again thank you so very much 🤗
I want to thank you so much! I was lost in the feeling of envy even when I told myself everyday that I shouldn't be like that! I could not get it out of my head and really thought that I was a selfish person and it can't be changed. Then I watched your video... I finally find a way and understand more about myself. Thank you! I wish you all the best 💕
You have no idea how the other person you envy got to their point of life. Nothing to stop your dreams and goals. Terrible feeling. I gave up on that when I realized it did not serve me a purpose. Love this video.
Is it weird that i feel envy towards people making friends easily and go to meetups and such without problem? Being autistic, introverted and having had a very tough time in school has made it extremely hard for me to be social. I rarely ever have anything to say that doesn't involve repeating someone or making weird noises. I get jealous because what i see others do with ease, is something that would make me either completely lock down, or just have sensory overload. Stuff's tiring, man
I can relate to some of that! I can be quite socially awkward because of my brain damage and some other stuff. I've never had a girlfriend and envy younger people than me (my littlebrother included) who are good with talking with women, and sometimes i really hate it.
This was the slap in the face I needed. Thank you. Your explanation has provided the subtle (yet profound) mental pivot I needed to build a bridge over/through the wreckage of twisted thoughts. On the other side in abundance!
im so jealous and envious of my old bestfriend. she's just so perfect rn but like why i deserve it too :( and to my neighbor that my parents used to compare to me when i was young
I have ADHD and a learning disability. I’m adopted, and the only one in my family who has disabilities. Sometimes there isn’t enough success to go around.
When you work insanely hard constantly and do everything you can and still things don't workout and then you see someone who is barely doing half of the things you doing but somehow they are successful or living the life you want... Now here it messes you head. I mean I don't wanna be jealous or envious but what else can I do? Pretend everything is okay? On top of that, you start feeling guilty and bad about yourself for being jealous. Its insane. I hope I can be successful and never jealous of anyone.
It is so hard to stop feeling envious and jealous everyday. You are crying and angry everyday whether you do or don’t see or hear their accomplishments.
I do this a lot when I am really down about being single, and have had bad relationships in the past. I think that there is a limited number of decent men in the world, and they are being snatched up by those I am jealous/envious of. Thanks for the real-talk Mel.
I was always very envious until the day a friend received a promotion. At first I was jealous, but I was ashamed to feel that, because he is a great person. I took a deep breath and said: He deserves all the success in the world and I also deserve it. Besides keeping me motivated, saying this every time someone achieves something, improves my self-esteem.
Thank you for explainign me what I feel and why I feel it. Envy is one of the most confusing emotions and that's why it's so hard to deal with. Because you simply don't understand what's wrong with you. I needed this!!
You just touched on something my daughter is struggling with right now. She’s a recent college graduate and is struggling with getting her life started while some of her friends and classmates “seem” to be moving on in theirs.
I'm so tired of envy and jealousy. I always said that I was happy for others. But I was feeling robbed. I admit it now. I can't lie to myself anymore. I'm starting rn reprogramming my reaction to others success.