Old Man must tell the story of a boy who is disfigured, has his skin bleached and has a smile carved into his face: The Joker!... err Jeff the Killer! phelous.com / phelous
They probably didn't want to get blood on their fancy clothes, and that kids is why you don't wear evening gowns to a kids party, what a lovely moral, lol.
and because jeff had no more eyelids, his eyes eventually got covered in dust, blinding him, and the wounds from his mouth became infected, and his mutilated body was found two days after the newspaper from the start was given out. either that or he was tricked into opening the bix from hellraiser. the end
No 1. Bleach is 80% water 2. alcohol burns up, not out of control 3. Cutting your cheeks would cause you to die from arteries being severed 4. Burning your eyelids off would make you immediately go blind
You know what's the opposite of threatening? A tween who just spent weeks in the burn ward + trauma center and hasn't had one minute of physical therapy yet.
Now all I can think of is how great After Earth would've been if it starred Old Man and Jeff the Killer. Jeff the Killer's clothes turned black. "I like it but I think it's something bad," said Jeff. "Suck it up," said Old Man, "or you might become completely useless to me."
Old Man: "Everything on this planet has evolved to kill humans, ya dumb shit!" Jeff: "But Daaaaad, I want to pet the puppies!" Old Man: "Doh, all right, if you're that stupid I won't stop you." *Jeff stabs a wild fox-owl or something* *Later* Old Man: "You've been out in the snap freezing night-winter! You're completely... uh, wait, an eagle saved you? Congratulations, you finally got adopted!" Jeff: "But she's dead!" Old Man: "Not my problem! Bye!" *takes off on spaceship*
Y'know, after Lou went to jail, I thought what was gonna happen was that Jeff was gonna die and Lou starts to take revenge on anyone who ever wronged his brother, to the point of taking on his name, and the white leathery skin and black hair were just a mask and a cheap wig. But nope, Jeff is just some Ledger Joker wannabe.
'90s-kid-moves-to-new-neighbourhood-and-deal-with-bullies combined with Rob Zombie's Halloween' is the best and most accurate summation of this creepypasta lmao 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
"Jeff’s mom looked down to see the black dress pants and white hoodie her son wore. Now they were clean of blood and now stitched together." Who the hell went to the trouble of cleaning and resewing his bloody, torn, burned clothes? You'd think the hospital would just throw that shit away and give him a new set of clothes.
I don't even mean jeans and a t-shirt, I just mean the bare basics of clothes like a cheap set of hospital pajamas. You do raise a good question though: Why the hell wouldn't Jeff's parents bring him a clean set of clothes from home?
Those cops hears two confessions and decides the most recent is the guilty one, I doubt they care much about evidence. Also I'm pretty sure clothing aren't exactly needed to prove the burnt victim has been sent on fire
My dad passed away and the hospital gave us back his clothing I don't really remember if they were cleaned or not , I just think they'll keep clothing to give to the family or to the patient when they leave. Though for this creepypasta maybe the hospital had a tailor ... the 12 year old gang with guns and a killer that got a Micheal Jackson make over from being burnt it's a totally realistic story and there needs to be a Jeff vs Old man movie for Phelous to review.
"His hair singed from brown to black" Err...neither of the things that happened would have caused this. I don't know about chlorine, but fire more burns hair into ash.
Old Man the killer: "The window was open, I guess I was expected. Oh look, this kid is all wet, he's completely useless now!" Slender Oldman: "Gee I need more kids to sell!" Anyway sorry for that. I'm glad to see this series return. I love Old Man, I'm seriously debating buying the t-shirt.
Phelous doesn't make the "EughEEEeeeEEEEeeeEEEEE" noise. It's Old Man who does it. You: "but isn't Old Man voiced by Phelous?" Me: "that's not Old Man's voice? 😢That's the greatest disappointment since the day I've learned that the Easter Bunny doesn't exist."
I didn't know that when things catch on fire they don't burn up into ash, lucky I now know when you catch fire you turn white and leathery while your hair turns black without being damaged and your clothes just fall apart instead of melting into your flesh.
@@NodDisciple1 I mean, we all have to start from somewhere and almost everyone starts writing awfully, he shouldn't feel ashamed, let us laugh at this na but I don't think anyone should keep this against the writer by this point.
This is all Liu Kang's fault. First he lets his younger brother's soul get absorbed by Shang Tsung, now this happens to his older brother. This would have never happened to Johnny Cage.
I was honestly more mad at the fact that the story tried to pass that off as a newspaper article. I took one year of journalism in high school years ago, but I'm pretty dang sure that that copy would get laughed off even the most pointless, slipshod local paper. Like, is there no such thing as the inverted pyramid, anymore? Or, like, making titles that in any way reflect what the article is about? If not, then I'm glad print is dead.
The vile and putrid smell went through the room, a scary noise snarling in my ears, a hyper realistic and terrifying voice spoke out, the sound of the devil chewing on Jesus and it said: "Heeeeeeeeee"
Okay... I thought nothing could be more ridiculous than Squidward's Suicide, with all the timestamps and such... But this? The kid version of Mortal Kombat? The dumb parents who apparently have a kilobyte of brain memory? Oh, and the whole "fake Joker" thing.
the most ridiculous thing about this to me is how good those kids are on a skateboard I've been skating for years and I can barely clear a traffic cone lying on its side but these suspiciously well armed suburban kids can clear fences with and even a person with ease it's almost as if it was lazily written by a 12 year old with a poor grasp of reality and a poorer grasp of the English language
Jeff is pretty badass being a kid able to matrix dodge like Neo, heart exploding punch like the Bride from Kill Bill, and just Mortal Kombat his way through an armed grouped of bullies with guns and knives when all the adults were too scared pissing themselves to attempt to help until HE took care of everything.
This story implies that sixth graders are smart enough to form cohesive mafia groups with one another that operate as a perfectly functioning unit with an obvious, and destructive, endgoal. ...I'm guessing this author never entered the sixth grade.
The ending baffles me. It really does. Not entirely sure how old Jeff is (it was a bit hard to make out Old Man's voice a times), but i'm sure if Jeff just stood in the doorway before rushing with a knife, his parents could probably take him. He's just holding a knife, yes? I say the first swing of that thing and the parents could hold the kid down and force the knfe out of his hands, effectively pinning him down while the police are called >.> The fight scene however? that's straight out of an action movie there.
+mewthemew Well, for the sake of context, Darkman is a burn victim, named Peyton, that gets super strength and is played by Liam Nesson. It's a far better story than this "creepy"pasta, and it's a sodding B grade movie.
How in the world does this story make it on so many Best Creepypastas lists? It’s a 90s revenge against bullies story with cheap shock value thrown in at the end.
I am so disappointed at the lack of Bulk and Skull theme when the skinny and fat kid showed up D: but then again Bulk and Skull are cool so... I've been waiting my whole life for a new Old Man Reads ;w;
It'd say 'Except Smiley was highly implied to be an actual monster.' But this story and all others seem to push the limits of suspension of disbelief to what the human body is capable of anyway.
Pretty much every terrible Creepypasta sounds like it's written by some 13yo emo kid who writes and posts 10 paragraphs of rants about how his parents don't understand his new hairstyle on Facebook, in every 2 hours interval.
I love how the hospital staff, or whoever, apparently went to the effort to sew ripped, burnt, bloodstained clothes back together. What is this, covered wagon times? Just buy some new clothes!
Late reply but screw it: The most feasible reason I've heard is that Jeff's character was adopted more as a tragic figure rather than the horror antagonist he was intended to be. Jeff's a psychotic teenage boy with a tragic past, and that shit's a MAGNET for edgy teenage girls. You know, the ones who claim they want a relationship like the Joker and Harley Quinn and say they're "insane" while writing stories like "My Immortal" (but 100% genuine) to get through the tough time that is their teenage years? That kind of crowd.
I kind of have mixed feelings about the Said Count. On the one hand, I kind of want to defend "said," because when an author tries to avoid it, you end up with ridiculous dialogue tags that make the characters look like they're chewing the scenery all the time. In fact, noticeable avoidance of the word "said" is one of the hallmarks of an amateur writer. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure the person who wrote Jeff the Killer only uses "said" because they aren't a good enough writer to even be called an "amateur."
Using said is fine in writing but using it this much is….😅 yeah that’s why when I write I try to add how someone said something so it’s more interesting
@@gracekim25 I find the best way to vary things up without getting overloaded with said bookisms and adverbs is to sprinkle in some action tags. When it comes to other verbs and adverbs, the test for me is, "does this verb or adverb convey information that the audeince wouldn't get from a simple tag, action tag, or no tag?"
I have not read Jeff The Killer in full for quite a while, but boy did I remember how much it sucked. This did quite well in reminding me so! Oh man, the accompanying pictures were so much fun, especially with Jeff's face superimposed onto them! I don't know what it is, but the images of him with his mouth downturned just made him look like a mix of derped and surprised. I couldn't stop laughing! XD Like I said before, these Old Man Reads Creepypastas videos are just delightful. :D They're so much fun and incredibly entertaining. Your efforts are definitely appreciated! Great job once again!
Mom Jeff: Oh look! My son has completely burnt his eyelids off! This will surely eventually painfully blind him, for he cannot fcking blink! He also has deep cuts on both sides of his face! No doubt they will get fatally infected, and soon prevent him from even opening his mouth! On top of all that, he is severely emotionally unstable! And there's most likely a phone down the hall, I could most certainly call the emergency room while carefully keeping an eye on him and calmly reassuring him, as there's absolutely NOTHING keeping me from doing that! Mom Jeff: Mom Jeff: Mom Jeff: *_honey get the shotgun-_*
Jeff the Killer: Because people can randomly turn into psychotic killers for no reason! The writer in me cringes. If you're gonna have a sanity slippage story of this ilk, you have to do it slowly through a series of events that actually make sense. What could have possibly triggered this... FEELING? There was no build-up, no anticipation. Well, I can tell the author kinda tried but it was really sloppily done. If you were 12 or 13 I can see how it would seem that way to you as a writer. Also, aside from a badly done sanity slippage there is the ah... (lack of) science in Jeff's appearance. Last I checked burning does not turn people white. And people don't just go nuts with nothing to make them start to go nuts AGH And why didn't any adults try to stop that fight scene from going down? His mom is the worst parent ever. D'EH, OUR POOR SON IS GOING INSANE. LET'S NOT GET HIM HELP. LET'S KILL HIM! D'EH! Guess murder runs in the family. Why am I bothering criticizing this anyway, it's been done so many times before...
It's so aggravating as a writer to see such laziness like this. I guess for 12 year olds it's the edgiest shit ever, but for everyone else it's just...WTF.
Sarcasm: It makes perfect sense! Didn't you pay attention? He was aaaaalways crazy, but it only leaked out a little until he had his final snap moment. This story is so clever because it does away with the need to have a sanity slip, and can focus on important things, like what Jeff wore to a kid's party. Not sarcasm: about as convincing as Anakin's slip to the dark side. That's not a compliment.
Also how freeken poor is this family where they take some bloody burnt ripped to shreds clothes and go "Whelp, better mend it!" AND to add the icing to the cake have THAT as the clothes their son leaves the hospital in? Maybe his parents weren't very good parents.
Love the new animations for Old Man. You know how the Joker said that if he was going to have an origin he'd prefer it be multiple choice? I doubt that even he'd believe this crap. Worse Joker origin then Hush Returns congrats there OLD MAN!!!
"You wanna know how I got these scars? Some bullies attacked me and my brother. And I beat them up. And then the cops arrested my brother. And then the bullies tried to beat me up again, and I ended up covered in bleach and you know what, this story sucks, let me start again."
"Nobody interrupts, or guts will fly!" While all the parents were frozen in fear from over the wooden fence came a deep yell, "Yes they will, you little shits!" From over the top of the fence came the neighbor, Mr.Wilson. Before the boys could train their guns on the hefty man, he brought himself down on the small fragile child. His large frame crushing the childs bones as he landed upon him. The mans jelly belly bouncing upward as he wrenched the gun from the destroyed childs hand. In a quick flash, and with two successive bangs, the remaining bullies heads were suddenly opened wide in a funnel of gore. The parents began to applaud whilst the hostess of the party swooned over the mighty old hero that stood before her. Jeff was never bullied again and everyone lived happily ever after. The End.
A looong time ago, while I was student-observing with a school counselor, a student was constantly talking about how he is always seeing this guy with a white mask who would steal him during recess and hold a knife to his neck. Obviously the student was lying, since our playground had security cameras and we had video of him on the swings only. The mom claimed we aren't doing enough to protect him and blah blah blah. During a meeting I observed he mentioned "Jeff" and described his "face". I immediately pointed out during the meeting that he was talking about "Jeff the Killer", and how it was a terrible internet horror story. I met with the principal after and he wanted to know the whole story. I explained what I knew (I never read it in full but I knew it was about as generic as it gets) and sent him a link. He told me that the kid's "totally true stories" lined up with the Jeff story. This was about 10 years ago. I assume the kid grew up to be a super cool edge lord.
"And with a metal bucket, the ominous figure soaked me in ice water. I was in shock. I was waiting for him just to kill me and end the horror. But he just stood there. Silent. Ominously. But then he smiled. And spoke. 'You're... Useless... Now...' He said. Then, the last thing I heard... Was that crazed wail... 'HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!' He said."
Don't you just love it when we see the childhoods of horror monsters? This story had me quacking out of my boots. (tries not to laugh at my own sarcasm)
Wait, aren't creepypastas supposed to be presented as something that might've, could've happened? This story starts out like that, but then it just ditches that aspect for a more straightforward method of storytelling. It would've been better if the whole thing was presented as a series of different documents chronicling Jeff's downfall, preferably from an outsider's perspective. I wonder if the author originally intended that, but then got lazy.
Wait, aren't creepypastas supposed to be presented as something that might've, could've happened? no, I mean magic sonic, someone putting child murder and animating squidward killing themselves, that's not something that could have happened
+alucardyoici Notice I said PRESENTED. The previous stories were told from a first-person perspective by someone who supposedly witnessed them first hand. This story starts out in a similar fashion with a newspaper clipping, but then the rest of it is told from the third person like a book or something by an omniscient narrator, who btw is judgemental at points and can't seem to make up his mind if this story is told in the past or present tense. I'm perfectly aware that none of this is real, but again, PRESENTATION is key here.
YES, Jeff The Killer is like one of the Worst Creepypasta out there. Do CLOCKWORK: Your Time Is Up next please!! That story is arguably worse then Jeff The Killer.
+bigevilworldwide1 Clockwork is a shitty rip off of Jeff the Killer, but it heaps on abusive parents and incestuous child rape in an attempt to make the character sympathetic, which, even if it worked would be stupid for a creepypasta because it's hard to be sympathetic for someone and scared of them at the same time. Also, in place of flammable bleach, it has a complete misunderstanding of how medicine or psychology works. And her stupid tacked on catch phrase that comes from nowhere is "your time is up" instead of "go to sleep." Clockwork is a complete and utter mary-sue, which is even worse than Jeff just being completely bland and generic.
I've wanted to know about the story of Jeff the Killer for a couple years now. Thanks to this "audiobook" by Old Man, all I can say is WOW . . . This was extremely underwhelming. As one of the most famous creepypasta's on the internet, I didn't expect it to be a masterpiece, however I was definitely expecting a lot better than what we got from this story. Despite how blatantly inexperienced the author is in writing literature (Judging on the "ominously" repetitive writing, I imagine this author was relatively young when writing this), it's quite obvious that the author clearly didn't think anything through and was just making up the story as they went along until they eventually got to where we see Jeff in the status quo. The characters aren't believable or likeable, the story itself is cliché, contrived, and riddled with plot holes, and it's not scary or suspenseful in the slightest! The only thing that makes this story entertaining is how laughably awful it is! It's also quite fitting that Old Man mentioned Rob Zombie's "Halloween" remake at the end because the problems I have with this story are the EXACT same problems I have with that movie! Giving Jeff the Killer all of this backstory is unnecessary and takes away any of the mystery that makes him a compelling character. The reason Slender Man works so well is that most of his origin is shrouded in mystery and you're left to make your own interpretation. Hell, most of the events in this story could have been summarized as "Jeff was horribly burned and went insane because of it. THE END!" Of course, I'm not saying you can't have a creepypasta with a tragic antagonist. Making Jeff out as a tragic serial killer could have worked if the author put actual effort into fleshing out his character and the people involved. By not doing so, this story fails to give us any emotional context to relate or sympathize with him, so at the end, the reader is just left there asking themselves, "Why do I even care about this character?" The only reason anyone even remembers this character is because of that one creepy image of him and that's it!
So that creepy picture which shows up on my Twitter feed is merely part of a mediocre at best horror short story which undermines its ability to frighten once its lame origins are revealed, killing its mystique? Thanks Old Man, for helping me sleep better at night, I'll stick with Ichi The Killer.
Why the hell was there a bottle of vodka just out in the open at a KIDS party? I know some people like to get their drink on at parties and whatever but...A kids party? damn.
...this was meant to be taken seriously as an unironic work of original fiction? The bullshit I wrote at age 14 is better than this and that included an alien elf goddess who could turn into a dragon who had an invisible boyfriend and a daughter who was the Avatar!
Come on Phelous, quit making up these obviously-too-dumb-to-be-real stories and read some of the ACTUAL terrifying creepypastas that the internet keeps going on about. They must be really scary!
Aaahhh Jeff the Killer, a candidate for the worst and most overrated creepypastas to ever exist. Only rivaled by the likes of Time Travel Journal, Clockwork: Your Time is Up and SONIC.EXE part 1 & 2.
