Jehovah's Witness Fade or Disassociate? 

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I was born and raised in the "false" and woke up 2 years ago. Thanks for this video 😉👌👍

In my opinion, the best course of action is to compose a brief letter citing the very specific reasons as to why you are leaving the organization and sending it to every single Jehovah's Witness you know. Do NOT send this letter to any of your Elders, ONLY the rank and file JWs that you know. The entire disassociating process is a set up, you aren't meant to walk away clean no matter what. So don't even bother composing a letter to send to Bethel Headquarters or to your body of Elders. The best solution is to do the unexpected. Ignore Watchtower protocol and reach out to everyone on an individual level instead of submitting yourself to character assassination by way of rumors. Let there be no doubts as to why you left. The vast majority may ignore it but the one or 2 people that do read it will be grateful someday. Love your vids guys, keep em' coming!

I faded away.. and yes the back lash is real and still in affect today. I'm estranged from my family. And honestly... I really don't care. Because I know deep inside I made the best decision and I'm living a much better truthful life. And instilling this truthful life to my daughter. In whom I refuse to expose her to it.

I wrote the letter disassociated my self over twenty-five years ago! I have never regretted it. I was prepared for the shunning but it was very painful! I stood solid. Shopping and moving about town became a eye rolling, pointing and staring fiasco! I had to move away to experience peace. It was terrible to see the power these persons gave over to the brothers! They blindly follow and are told to not question anything but often used the ancient bereans who searched out truth as examples in the field ministry! I was never a sheep like personality. In fact I accepted a bible study because they promised to teach me the scriptures. I never intended to become one. I was tricked as a teen into baptism. I had little family and married early to get away from abuse at home and was devastated and lonely! I was a young military wife, a lone in a state where I knew no one! I would have talked to anyone! The pioneers were there three days a week eating our food, flushing the toilet and using our home phone. We were young, impressionable and needed guidance. They were suited, mature and seemed grounded. They seemed like everything we aspired to be. My husband was really serious. He exited the military on a conscientious objector position. We were now unemployed with a very sick newborn and no insurance! I was angry, scared and continued doing exactly as told by the elders and the pioneer couple who aided us in. An elder said get welfare ( foodstamps) and AFDC for the kid. I had to not report that my husband was still in the home. I had to lie! I went from.being a proud, young military wife to welfare. I went to factory work, on third shift leaving my breast feeding infant! My husband became clinically depressed, started secretly drinking and it became a disaster over time! I wrote the letter because I was being literally stalked! The Sister's started showing up on my job. They sat in places they knew I had to be and followed me. They knew that a particular elder had gone just too far. My husband had abandoned us and the organization. I was lied to by him and I awakened to the game. We were being handled. They wanted us to discuss everything with the body before we did it. No way we figured not knowing that obedience included little privacy in our business affairs! We did not know we were being abused and kept waiting for the organization to straighten things out like all the other friends! God does not require all that. Man does! He is ego centered, driven by control and power. I have done my research. I sleep well and today that group is THE PAST! I will not allow them to steal my energy, my peace of mind nor my life anymore!

A couple things. One you are absolutely correct that elders do not read disassociation letters. As you point out, they are encouraged not to so they don't become 'poisoned'. Other thing is I faded using the switching congregations method. And I had to do it 3 times. Finally I picked a congregation a couple hours away and attended just long enough that I was certain my publisher's record card had been moved. When the elders wanted to talk to me about being 'irregular' I agreed and then just never showed up. I had given a false address so they were never able to find me. Don't let these jokers drag you into a humiliating degrading judicial committee. You do have rights. They are not the police. But in the process of fading, I had my mail stolen out of my box, I was followed from my work because they were trying to find my actual address, and they even called my work trying to get my phone number while lying and pretending to be a family member desperate to get in touch with me. Fortunately it was a big company with strict HR guidelines and I was notified with nothing being given away. If it is at all conceivable, fade, is my advice. Don't talk to the elders AT ALL if you value your dignity and privacy. Change your phone number. If they come to your door and you make the mistake of answering it, then don't let them in and say that you are really busy and don't wish to speak to them. Politely ask them not to come back and don't give them any reason other than 'because I said so'. Watch out for the literal foot in the door technique, I've seen it used. Don't be afraid to call the police if they harass or stalk you. Finally, the very slickest most boss 'disassociation' I've ever seen was a friend of mine. He got a lawyer that wrote a cease and desist letter. It stated if they ever tried to contact his client again, and if they took any action publicly against him that they would be next served with a 7 figure lawsuit. Miraculously they never called him. They didn't DF him or do anything from the stage at the KH.

I didn't have many friends at the Kingdom Hall, so the backlash was non-existent. I've been a loner but starved of love and chasing love, now, at 54 am appreciating "being in love with myself and being a friend to myself". The other thing I've observed with people, nothing is ever a given, but what matters is my happiness. I learned that if I'm at peace with myself and being with myself I can be at peace with others. THANKS FOR ALL THE TIMELY INFORMATION!

I legit wanted to cry for that person in the first 2 min of the video.Absolutely terrible.How can parents and family of their child refuse to invite one of their own to a funeral of a loved one? Jehovahs witnesses Organization has ruined far too many lives.

Jt, I like your speaking style man. No nonsense and straight to the point. Very relevant and well presented information that can help xjws and non jws alike... Thank you for what you do, it really helps those of us dealing with jwisms.

In my congregation elders wouldn’t help me if I needed spiritual help...I told them off and they said they were too busy. Now I’ve been inactive for a while and they’re not trying to get in touch with me....I guess I’ve been lucky!

Our family faded two months ago, and we are doing great!

Wow! Great information! I 'faded' about 20 years ago, and recently an elder met me. He told me that my name was still on their records and asked me to either write a letter declaring my status or come in to meet a committee. When I asked why, he said that they wanted closure for their record of me. I simply said: "I see. Have a good day" and kept on walking. If all I am to them now is "a record", then they do not deserve my time and attention, so I still will not write that letter.

I got dfed. My sister instead faded. After observing both scenarios I am positive fading is easier long term.

Great information guys!what I hated most about the cult was the invasion of privacy Thanks for all you do Blessings

Another excellent video that will be helpful to many people who need this information. I see it has already stopped Several people from writing a letter. Don't let WT control you! Leave on your own terms!!!!!

My wife and I have enjoyed your videos so much! We are in the fading process and have been giving much thought to whether to formally disassociate or not. This had great advice. You're right....things need to be on our own terms. Not theirs. So sad this has to happen because we love God and fully accept Christ as our Savior just don't agree with the man made Watch Tower but no one cares. We're "mentally diseased apostates". So twisted. Please keep the videos coming!

Another excellent video! Thank you JT & Lady Cee for your activism... I'm glad we've crossed virtual paths... I've learned so much...

I wasted 45 yrs of my life in the org.. Raised my kids in it. Thank goodness we all got out! The rest of my family still in. I'm hoping , with the help of these videos, more & more people will come out ! It doesn't take much research to figure out its a false, man made religion with man made rules!

Thank you for this video. It is a very individual decision. I was a 4th generation.. Faded 20 yrs ago & shunned for the last 10 yrs for choosing to attend a nondenominational church. I decided to speak to my family members when I see them, even if it's a one sided conversation. I refuse to let the org "dictate" who I can speak to. They have controlled us long enough. I even leave voice mail messages reminding them to do research. I want them to know that the shunning isn't working. The org tells them that our lives fall apart when we leave. I want them to know that I'm happy & doing great! It may not bring my family back but it forces them to "think". If we walk away & do nothing, then the organization wins.. I've known 5 people who committed suicide because of the shunning. If you are struggling & depressed, please let us Ex's help. We all know the heart ache of it. Being proactive helps & it does get better with time.

Thank you this gave me something to think about. I had figured if I gave my disassociation ltr they would still announce me in the midweek mtg as “no longer one of Jehovah’s witnesses”, with no explanation as to why. Again making something I feel so good about doing, look bad. So they gets nothing. They don’t give apologies for their wrongdoing/child abuse or explanations for their “new light”, so they gets nothing from me, zip zero!

Another excellent video JT and Lady Cee! A must watch for anybody considering this life changing decision.

This is one video that will help any Jehovah's Witness fortunate to find it on youtube. Wish I heard something like this before I left. Great job as always. Posting to twitter.

Awesome video, as usual. So glad you are making and helping more people with your informative videos.

This HAS to be my favorite video you guys have made!! Just amazing how JT explains things so clearly!!! I have heard this video at least 15 times.. Lady C... you are amazing too!!!!

Your mannerisms are really down to earth and you really have a good grip on how JW's do this kind of thing. I love your stuff!

This is well articulated! I am a fader and happy with my decision!

Awesome video! Thanks for telling it like it is, JT & Lady C.

Number one on my bucket list is seeing the day my sister wakes up. Being highly indoctrinated, she is particularly unapproachable. I continue to pray for her. Very informative videos, thank-you for being activists!

You guys are so ON POINT! Thank you, I needed to hear this!

That was so awesome JT...I LOVE EVERY SECOND...

Thank you so much for this particular video...the part about writing a letter I might be giving up my civil rights was quite informative.

This is really good. I am glad you gave this advice.

Great Video folks! Thanks so much! As you indicated, trying to decide how best to exit the Watchtower can be a difficult decision and everyone approaches this differently. In my case, I went with a one-sentence disassociation letter. I knew none of the Elders would be interested as to why I was leaving, so I didn't bother with any further explanation. One thing I did in preparing for the inevitable shunning that would occur was to reverse-shun the congregation just before I turned in my letter, as it mentally prepared me to better deal with this. Also, there wasn't much love between me and my witness relatives and family anyways, so in my case the losses were minimal. I certainly don't like to shun anyone and I don't recommend it, but it worked for me in my particular case. Been out 27 years and never looked back.

your channel is really remarkable . Great production and editing as well as entertaining and informative. TY

Your videos are soooo helpful. Please continue.

My disassociation letter contained one sentence. Excellent video! Thank you for all your hard work.

We love your well presented logical thinking. Thanks for the effort that you put in. We hope many more JWs can have their critical thinking awakened.

Disfellowshiped for almost 30 years, no relationship with my children, my grand children my mother my brothers. My mother told me come back you don't have to believe but at least you can see your children and grand children, I just can't do it just the thought of it gives me a panic attack. I think if you have family in this organisation it's better to fade away. Its a heavy price to pay. Freedom is not free.

I listen to this video almost every month..Still amazing!! Wish I can show this video to some people!!

Your videos are great! When I left, I stopped attending meetings cold turkey.

amazing, humorous video, thank you so much. I too would never give them the satisfaction of writing a letter

Thank you! Great video! Great advice! I tell Jw the same all the time! I shared it with many ex-Jw groups on Facebook! Love your video's!

thanks so much. Very helpful and useful information.

Excellent video lady cee and JT. I refuse to write a DA letter too, they think they own me but they dont own me!! Ive been out now for 3 years, they try to come and visit me but i shut them down i tell them straight up we have nothing to talk about. Im busy cant talk. But its gonna be a matter of time before i get called in for a judicial meeting because my wife knows how i feel and my parents just found out because i told them. But i know for a fact they wont shun me because all my brothers and sisters are DF and we all go have dinner at our parents house like nothing happen. So im not worry about getting DF, but i wont give them the pleasure of a DA letter. I love your videos!!!

I absolutely love your videos JT . New subscriber here too

You two are brilliant. Great format, and thank you for this in-depth view. I was never in the JWs, but I study and educate people about cults for a living. However, the Watchtower always puzzled me - thank you, because you have helped me understand very well just how this organization thinks and works.

JC !! From the horses mouth .Thank you and your lovely wife .big hugs xx

It has always been my view that a disassociation letter should not be more than one page. Not only are elders not equipped for any meaningful discussion thereof, but a detailed letter showcasing all the facts is akin to throwing pearls at swines. And, quite frankly, most elders will not accept that you know more about the subject than they do. And, besides, by keeping the letter one page, you can frame it. [laughing] ....... I intend writing an article on my website about disassociation letters and showing my personal copy thereof. This video has shed light on certain things. Thanks. ;)

thank you another great video with very good information the sad thing is when young children get baptized then later they learn the tatt with all family and friends in very tough like the example at the start of video

Very good advice! Thanks so much for sharing this information. It should help a lot of JW when deciding how to leave the Watchtower Society of Jehovah's Witnesses. I loved the video.

Great break down on leaving. Lots to consider.

I was around 19 when they took me in the back room or little room how we called it in Spanish, and I said to myself I ain't talking to this ..... They can't judge me.

Another amazing video. you are a blessing to the ex-jw community. Good advice for those whom sitting on the fences. you helping people to see how the authority of JW thinking.

Very helpful Lacy C and JT, excellent information. Sadly once in its hard to get out once you find out you TATT, especially if you have family members and your old been in for decades, but its encouraging to know that others care, thanks.

Good evening, I have faded, since 10/29/2018 and my JW brother and sister has not communicated with me any longer. In contrast, I regained my relationship with my other, non-JW, family. It still hurts because I love all of my family and at this time I am slowly regaining my independence and sanity. Thank you for your platform. I really appreciate you and Lady T. From your real friend, Evelyn Garcia-Frye in Wilmington, NC.

You are doing a wonderful job. I enjoy your talks. when I began my bible studies, it almost felt like I was being guilt tripped in. money, food, brotherly advice. I felt at home. this was the first time someone could explain what I already knew and that was, something is wrong with the world. little by little he tried to take away my humanity. if i wore something out of the ordinary I would be asked what that meant. he would treat me like I was an idiot. almost like he was trying to reteach the entire bible but without reading the bible, you know the companion booklets. I began to feel like a prisoner in my own mind.

I totally agree with what you said. I won't give them the satisfaction of a letter, nor have I spoken to any of them since I quit 6 months ago. I have nothing to lose, so I could care less if I was to be df'd. Although one of my grown daughters is still in, she doesn't want me to say anything negative but isn't shunning me, either. I also want to keep the lines of communication open with a few of the "friends", just in case they're open to discussion some day. And if I ever run into one of them, after the pleasantries I'll simply say "I have nothing to say". I lost a lot of time in that cult. And could have had some wonderful life-long friends by now. I spend a lot of time with my youngest daughter and grands here, and when I finally told her next door neighbor (who used to tell me she was right and I was wrong) about the new truths I was learning, she said she was learning the same things herself! Now I don't feel awkward spending time with her and other people who I had avoided being around! Speaking of that book you read by Schnell, that was the first book this daughter got for me after finding out I left. I wanted a new bible, so once I decided which one I wanted she got it for me as a gift. She was SO happy I was finally OUT. I'm glad I didn't force my girls to go when they were teenagers. Two other now ex-jw's and I have been on a path to find out what the truth really is, also deprogramming ourselves, and believe we're experiencing YHWH"s holy Spirit in our lives while uncovering spiritual treasures and finding the REAL gold! : )

I don't know how to thank you guys..... This is just another incredible explanation!... Just amazing!

Thanks for covering this topic. My husband and I chose to disassociate and wrote a short to the point letter. It was more for closure for us and the cong. knew our address......and they kept harrasing us. You said, "leave on your terms" and that's just what we did. Thank you again for covering this topic, because there are many i am sure that need guidance as to what to do.

You’ll are alright with me. I can listen to you’ll all day and feel I am accomplishing something great, even if I don’t do anything else.

JT, I finally made the decision to leave this cult for good in 2019. The reason I could make this decision in good conscience is because of the knowledge that I gained by watching your RU-vid videos and several other creators. I wished that I had the courage to view apostate information previously, but the threats of disfellowshipping are very real. My mother is 93 years old, yet hasn’t spoken to me in 35 years since I left the org. She has four grandchildren and three great grandchildren she has never met or spoken to. It’s truly sad the power that a corrupt organization can wield over their publishers. A word of wisdom, get out now before the JW’s destroys your life!

Great video much appreciated.

haha I was in the process of writing my DA letter. scrap that.

Great.. Spot on brother.. I'm no longer a active jw but you'll always be my brother🤗😀😀

This video was awesome! I was always considered what they call an independent thinker and rebellious. So, when I left, I left on my own terms. I didn't even waste my time to write a letter. Fortunately, I have no family in the WTBTS. So, for me, it wasn't hard to just leave. I just walked away and I don't even care what they think of me, because I definitely know that GOD will hold them accountable for their terrible actions. I love you Lady C and JT. Keep up the good work!!!!

I'm currently going mental turmoil, trying to decide between fading and disassociation, so I can't wait to watch this video....

I have disassociated myself many years ago. My parents and my sisters are still active. since I was never disfellowship they talk to me. I was a pioneer, moved to serve where the need was greater. I'm glad I left quietly. I'm glad there is a place where other witnesses can go.

I love reading the beautiful testimony's of the people writing. On how they left the org. it's so encouraging. I just hope we are reaching out to the JWs that take a peak.

Yes! You gave some great examples....I DA myself..I wrote it in 1 paragraph.I needed closure...I didn't want to explain anymore to them...

Love the movement in this video. It is all about helping others.

JT, you are such a brilliant speaker, thanks. And you kinda remind me of Diesel Washington and I love the humour...

Good job spreading the message.

Excellent thanks

Keep it rollin brother

I love you both, thanks for these videos regarding the "lie" (not truth)

wow great work is true everything you guys say.

Great video!

That's exactly right! The way I came in was the way I left. I knew about from yrs before. When I was ready in '89' I went to the hall and requested a bible study. Got baptized in '90'. I went to my last convention in '99' for a day and a half never to return. Wasn't nothing anyone had done but it was my time to go.

Hello. I really enjoy your videos. I was a bible student for almost a year. thank Jesus Christ for discernment. I saw a lot of red flags the shunning is one and also the love bombing. and after that I was kicked to the curb. thank God I don't have my immediate family in this cult. there going to pay for there wrong doing. .. God is bigger than the society. .people must remember that. ...God bless you both. .

Im so glad my rebelious teen age self managed to avoid getting baptized

That’s a strong statement “you will never leave the organization in tack”

My whole family was AGAINST JW's so it was not difficult to disassociate myself from "the organization". LOL There are many people who are not JW's with whom we can make friends. Life does not originate with "the organization:. They are in the minority.

great Video JT. Jehovah's Witnesses don't give a damn about your reasons for leaving. To them Jehovah, Watchtower, Governing Body, and "the Organization " are all synonymous. To reject one,, is to reject all. The key is to be prepared before you make the move. In my case I was disinherited even before I disassociated myself - even while I was officially still a JW. Moving countries and making new friends helped me.

Whoa!!! I never knew this organization was this twisted. Unbaptised publishers were treated this way and slandered? This is just wrong. Thank you for giving us this channel. I'm in the process of fading away so please wish me luck JT and Lady Cee.

I really like your reasoning, brilliant video, my mum has a record with the jw's and she isn't even baptized, she stopped studying 4 years old so as a current jw doing my research, my immediate family are not jw's. It's pathetic the control and when you question things, they act bizarre.

Sobering video for those of us who were baptized at an age where we couldn't give effective consent. Heartbreaking but a sad truth for many ex-jw's. Thank you for making this video.

What a blessing the both of you are. There was man just last month who had been raised a JW and he discovered the lies and left. He accepted Christ as his saviour and he had about 3 videos where he disputed alot of the false teachings of JWs with Bible truths and then he just disappeared and the videos were taken down. I sure hate that. I hope he didn't go back.

20:14-20:24- I loved that part played it over and over

Great advice! I left a couple of years ago and my letter was up to 4 pages. It's less than a page now. I haven't sent it yet. I don't feel I owe them anything, including this letter, but it's for closure. My wife left a few months ago and my kids are not going either, so disassociation is not that big of a deal for me. After I stopped attending, none of my so called friends ever called me, so friends is not an issue. I would add-- if you run into an elder in the street and they want to set up a meeting or "meet for coffee," tell them you will reach out to them when you're ready. Stand your ground and don't tell them anything, until you're ready--/but it never needs to happen unless you want it to. Take control back of your life. Great Video!!!

I faded away from that cult 20 years ago and I couldn't be happier

Great post!

Yeah l recently had to respectfully but firmly tell them to stop knocking on my door as I'm not coming back, and I'm not inclined to discuss anything with anyone. They didn't even ask how am I doing, they just replied with putting as a Do Not Call (DNC) I said yes please and stop harassing my mother. I feel so glad to be free from this madness cult. Anyhow thanks for your comment and great videos. P.S 21 minutes into this video is so true and on point.

Thank You, for this video . I left by simply not attending meetings or having any contact with anyone within the organization , including the people I had been friends with for 20 years in my first congregation. I had built new friendships outside first and I had no family within. I did not write a letter , in fact I refused to do so when visited by the elders. So far I have not been shunned as I have not seen anyone from the congregation to be shunned . However I do expect to be if my plan to return to the area where I became a witness goes ahead .

I agree with Michael Ponce, great speaking Style.. Very clear, precise, and straight to the point! but most of all - it is absolutely the truth!...Sad how the Watchtower manipulates its members to the point that they make it ok in their mind to shun family members

This is good info. I feel like I need stable ground and a foundation for me to have less anxiety though. I haven’t told my family that I’m not interested anymore (some get the idea). I have stopped going to meetings months ago. Told them I’m taking care of things financially/school for now. My struggle is having stable ground such as a belief. I work with a relative who’s of good status in the Kingdom Hall, the bashing and subliminal hints from conversing with that person at work is torture. I’m currently looking for another job. I met a girl very recently and she is sweet we’ve been together for two months. I believe this situation with the religion and my anxiety is causing me to not keep things in order mentally because this is somewhat fresh it’s been about 4 months since I stopped going and the shunning is somewhat there its making me insecure. Being that I don’t have a solid belief now it’s hard for me to adjust and be as confident with less insecurities. I’m afraid to go out with this girl in public because of other witnesses etc... She started noticing those things and unfortunately she doesn’t understand the traptism mentality like some of us do. Your family contact is on the line and if you get DF’d you can’t speak to them. I was hoping disassociating would leave me that option to speak to them. So she asked if I was seeing someone else because of that and because I don’t post on social media. I explained everything to her and it has been difficult. Probably a mistake on my part for not having that situation with the religion taken care of first. Half of my family is in. Thank you for the videos.

I disassociated from them! I wasn't born in, I was in about 5 years and there were little things here and there that I didn't quite understand, and of course didn't get any answers from the witnesses. I didn't see a lot of the love they constantly talk about at every single meeting- some not much. I woke up when I questioned one of the updates and started to do research on the governing body. WOW! I left them immediately. I hope the witnesses will wake up soon.

God bless you my friend. I've experience that too. I left bc my ex who was an elder and witness comitted adultery. I was not heard because they believed him. So I left. l like you, I was raised a witness. I really wished the witnesses understand that is our choice by law that we r there.

For those who choose to fade...Once you become inactive, how aggressively the congregation elders will or won't pursue you (through "shepherding calls", etc.) seems to vary widely depending on the congregation - the size of the congregation, the collective personality of that particular body of elders, etc. Of course, whether you have family members who are active in that congregation would play a big factor as well. I have heard and read some horror stories. On the other hand, some will simply leave you alone, maybe after a cursory shepherding phone call or visit or two, as long as it doesn't get back to them that you're "publicly" speaking against the organization. My personal opinion about disassociation letters (and that's all it is - strictly my opinion) is that (A) it's a complete waste of time, as discussed in this video, and (B) they're not entitled to it; you're under absolutely no obligation to formally end your association with them, or any other faith.

You both have been helping me not to join this cult. Thank you.

This is the situation I find myself in now. I was baptized when I was 9. I had no clue what I was signing up for