Meditation and Dealing with Difficult People 

Karen Tun Aung I definitely know what you mean. We all have a lesson to learn. I just want answers to why I do not have peace.

@@NatureandSpirit111 try to have humble in heart.

@@NatureandSpirit111 Sickness only appears within health. Death is thinkable only within life. Separation can only show in union. Differences can only grow in samenesses. Above can only arise together with below. Look up and search your feet! There you lost your peace. 🙃🙂☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️🌼🌿🌼🌿🌈🌈🌈

@@ilonkaleibfried2142 Thank you for your comment! It made me think/realize that maybe even the things we want to go away somehow belong or are connected with the things we like. As all things are interconnected (:

@@freya7799 love from deep within ✨☀️🌼🫶🌼☀️✨

I would like to see a video where Mingyur Rinpoche tells us how to consciously develop negative emotions and thoughts.

+Lorz Ronz I don't think you want to " develop" negative emotions and thoughts. Yes, we can learn from "pain". But we must treat pain or suffering with the love it needs.

Just be the watcher

I did not interpret this meaning. While yes, we can be our own difficult people, it can also be true that there are some in the world who are abusers. When we disperse the clouds of our own negative mindset and emotion and we learn to control our own emotions, we can then handle abusers more appropriately. The very real problem is while we are exposed to abusers, whether we are still with them or we are legally obligated to continue contact with them (i.e. through children), it is very difficult to reset our own emotions (which abusers use against the target). This is why having no contact with toxic people is truly key. If you cannot go no contact, then you must use other options. One term Western psychology uses is "gray rock" against those with abusive tendencies. It is the skill of essentially making your responses so boring that you do not provide them fuel to the fire they are trying to set. The only control we have is ourselves and our reaction, not the abuser's actions. Meditation and controlling your own mental state handles the feelings that need to be resolved because "gray rock" does not help the internal feelings of the target. It only works externally. So, by gaining control over your own emotions and accepting that you cannot change the actions of an abuser does not equate the onus to being on the target. However, the onus is on each individual to control their own emotional state for their own personal peace. To say we are powerless against the abusers and can do nothing is allowing them control, which is what abuse is all about. We aren't responsible for the abusive actions others take and it is not projecting our own issues onto a person what MAKES them be abusive to us. But we can only choose how we react.

@@lizforth1252 I agree. However, that's not what he said. It is all to common for Buddhist teachers to direct the fault onto the victim. I think this is more cultural than religious though. In many Eastern countries it is sadly the norm do victim blame and shame. It may also stem from the belief that all is one, the world is our projection blah blah. Its a problem for me as I've inherited a culture whereby I blame myself, for what is done to me. I recognise the conditioning which led me to feel this way. But have not learned to overcome it. Separation, as far as possible, is a good idea. However, any tactic e.g grey wall during interaction makes no difference. It's like they always undermine it somehow.

Hi - I am sorry to hear that. Meditation can help with your responses to the aggravation caused by your sons behavior. There will be less yelling which hopefully with get your son turn around. That is what I know. My knowledge is very limited. Every one knows that we have to count to 10 when angry. Meditation can facilitate that.

You must calm yourself first and take a quiet time. It might be good to let your anger, hatred, resentment to be calm first. Because it's oftenly more effective than forcing yourself to meditate while you are not in a good shape. But again, everyone has their own methods, so you may choose which is more comfortable to you :) Good Luck

Hi, acceptance does not mean inaction. Acceptance, I feel, means seeing it truly as it is without moral judgment. When true acceptance arrives there is a release from stress and worry. But it does not mean that your acceptance of the situation translates to your tolerance of all his activities. As a parent you accept your son's current behaviour as the current issue. You accept your own anxiety. You can read up and practice tonglen for this. It's a wonderful practice. In my experience the practice creates subtle changes in our own behaviour and state of being. Our own relaxed being, loving, nonjudgmental compassionate being will open gates of communication that were previously locked by our own natural anxiety and stress. When those gates open it seems to naturally attract communication. Your son will undoubtedly know he is on a path likely to hurt himself and the sudden compassionate release he will have from your anxiety might force him to have to worry for himself. You will then be available to him when he reaches for you. There are several practices that will help you cope with this current time. Pema Chodron goes through these techniques beautifully. They are simple and practical. Good lucl

you are so funny!