My Trichotemnomania story - overcoming hair cutting OCD 

I have this, too. Thank you so much for speaking up - there are so few people talking about this that it’s easy to feel alone. So many of us feel guilt or shame, but I hope that building communities that understand what we experience can break the stigma and help us to feel more accepted.

I have Trichotemnomania as well. Watching this is very similar to my experiences with the disorder, such as the bangs being the main focus. Breaking down in the bathroom after screwing up is a very hard experience to go through and I really feel for you on that. My story is I've been dealing with hair cutting since I was 12. It started out slow and got worse throughout my teenage years. When I turned 24 in 2015 that was my worst year. I was cutting my hair for nearly 12-14 hours a day for 6 months straight. I lost sight of who I was and now I deal with Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder as a way of dealing with stress and anxiety. I'm 30 now. Luckily I'm doing better. I don't know what happened really. Somehow I've just calmed down with it. Also I think I'm very lucky I'm a man with this disorder and I can shave my head when it gets bad again. For some reason it's more socially acceptable for men to have short hair. I feel so bad reading about women feeling less feminine when dealing with this. I'm really so happy for you that you've come so far. To some it may seem like it's not very much of an outcome but I know first hand it's the greatest feeling to be able to get through this. Also it is very rare to come across anything about this disorder so you making a video is just really great. It makes me feel less alone. Thank you :)

Thank you for sharing your story. This is something I've struggled with for around 25 years - I starting doing some research a few years ago to understand the condition a bit better. Like yourself and many others, I have felt that it's not talked about much and there doesn't seem to be many videos on 'Trichotemnomania' but much more awareness on 'Trichotillomania' In my case I have been in front of the mirror for hours and hours and time has passed without me realising how long I was standing there cutting my hair. I felt like I was in some kind of trance, its a very strange feeling and can be exhausting and upsetting because of ruining hair that you start to realise looked fine to start with. When cutting the hair, it seems to bring temporary relief and then there is a horrible sinking feeling of ruining the hair which leads to feelings of regret, frustration and depression which can have an impact on your everyday life. It seems from my experience to be linked to coping with symptoms of stress and perceived imperfection that 'probably' doesn't exist. I'm hopeful that one day I will overcome the cycle but think its stressed related so this has to be addressed first - Coping mechanisms are different for everyone but I have found Meditation/ Mindfulness/ Self-care to be helpful. In my case I have had to take medication to have some control over the symptoms and have now come to terms with fact that I need a bit of help and that's ok if my quality of life improves. I speak to my long term partner and tell him if I recognise the symptoms starting which is not always easy and can sometimes come out of the blue. I make a choice to give any cutting tools (Scissors/Razors/Anything else I feel I could cut my hair with) to my partner for safe keeping when I know I'm feeling vulnerable and this does seem to help to physically stop me cutting my hair. It seems as if when I hand over the tools I feel relief and I don't have to look at them for a while even if I know where they are. I just wanted you to know you are not alone in this struggle. I hope you are coping ok at the moment. My heart goes out to you and anyone else going through the same. Take care of yourself :-)

I just found this video and I found it very comforting. Thank you for sharing a little bit about your journey. The urge to cut is such a "real thing."

Thank you so much for sharing this! I've been struggling with this as well after some traumatic events and knew something was wrong but couldn't find anyone else that has been going through it. I feel better at least im not alone.

I am more than certain I share this condition as well. It doesn’t help being a licensed hairstylist either. I don’t do hair anymore professionally and honestly regret getting technically trained in hair cutting. It really tightens the OCD. I really want to grow my hair out from the pixie I have. I try so hard and can only control myself for a month on average. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I have sleepless nights cause of cutting. It might be time to get rid of all of my hair cutting shears and buzzers. I just want to feel prettyyy

Thanks for the video! I just cut off my hair again just when I finally had it to shoulder length. I thought this was never gonna happen again. I’m so mad at myself and it really looks horrible. At least I can still wear a micro bun. Can’t believe I did it again! Now I really think it’s a disorder! Happy for you that you got to this point. Please don’t cut it again. I think I didn’t see the warning signs but with more awareness I think next time I could maybe prevent it by recognizing the triggers. I feel so shitty not having been able to stop myself despite knowing it better…:(

I got bangs in 2021 and after obsessing if they were even it not( and I’ve always hated my hair anyway because people told me it’s ugly and floofy) I ended up chopping my hair till I ended up buzzing it. Good news, I’m still pretty without hair. Bad news it takes forever to grow out your hair. Love and hugs to those suffering from these issues❤.

I've struggled for over a decade... My hair has been past my shoulders once in the last 10 years. I was diagnosed with OCD a few years ago but only today did I discover that there's a name for my specific issue and big is it a relief.

Know that you are not alone. I have been struggling with this same thing for over 25 years. Thank you for being strong in sharing this.

i have this. it is a freaking nightmare. thank you for your sweet pure video xoxoxo

Thank you so much for sharing! I really needed this. I have been struggling with this on and off for the last 4 years and I am working on stopping every single day! Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your true feelings and what has worked for you.

I want to thank you for this video. I completely relate to your struggle…and just want to say that you have a great sense of humor considering how hard this is. And the way you told your story captured the emotional struggle that all of us that do this feel. I’ve been doing this to myself for over 30 years. I have a few years of not cutting then somehow get back to it for a bit, then a few more years of control again. I’m currently in the ‘it’s not even, buzz it off’ stage! I also suffered a thyroid issue…Graves Disease….which didn’t help. But, you give me hope. Thank you, and by the way, you have a lovely accent!

Thank you so much. I started having issues with continuously cutting my hair throughout the year and now it's gotten so short I find it so ugly that I wanted to shave it. Now I know I won't. I won't fall in the trap. 👍

You are amazing! Don't ever be sorry for talking... and thank you for sharing ❤️

I thought I overcame my years long hair ocd battle after a year of growing my hair out under a wig, but I think it's a forever struggle. I wish I could wear the wig when I have an accident, but I dont live in a city anymore. Its hard to be obviously wearing a wig one day when you live and work in a small community. I've noticed over the years that one of my close family members struggles with the same. There may be a genetic component.

Im 20 years old and struggle with various types of OCD, including this very specific type. I don’t think there is enough research on trichotemnomania. I was hoping for a diagnosis specifically for trichotemnomania, but was told that actually is not a term yet in the DSM-V, but trichotillomania is, which is disappointing since that is the diagnosis they gave me. However, I do not have issues with pulling out my hair, and I made that clear, and I don’t want to be claiming someone else’s disorder and struggle, so they changed the diagnosis to general “OCD” which is better. That was maybe over 4 years ago that I had received that diagnosis. I received it when I first shaved off my hair, and as a woman, that was very concerning to others, and then became concerning to me because I didn’t know that I would be facing so much rejection. I still kept shaving it because it always bothered me how it grew out unevenly. I would explain this to others as they liked to ask why I would keep doing it, but they wouldn’t take the reasoning well because they don’t understand what OCD is like. It’s not their fault, but I feel like more understanding/acceptance would be useful for all of us who are struggling with this or any other mental disorder in general. I’m seeing a few comments saying that their experience with compulsive hair cutting is negative for them. While I accept their experience as valid, I also don’t think that this experience has to be entirely negative. What I mean is that I am hoping that peoples negativity toward their experience isn’t forced by others opinions or their own opinions of what hair “should look like” for both men and women. I think whatever anyone is going through should be embraced by themselves and others. That is not to say that you can’t feel sad or miss your hair, but you also don’t have to hate it when you do cut it shorter. People are going to be superficial; that is just human nature. Some are able to look past that nature, and some aren’t, and that’s okay, and you don’t have to surround yourself with people who won’t like you for the way you look. And for some people, acceptance takes time. I used to be so lonely when my OCD first started getting really bad and when I first started shaving my hair. People were hesitant to accept me with little hair. Even my family cried and gave me a hard time because they missed my old hair. But years later, they stopped being so harsh. They started seeing the beauty in different types of looks whether it be from OCD or more intentional hair cuts on people. People who never would’ve been friends with me in the past are friends with me now and have admitted that they regret how superficial they used to be. Heck! Even I used to be superficial before I started facing rejection from my OCD. We live and we learn. In my experience, I do miss my old hair every day, but I also embrace my shaved head as a woman. I still have hope for the future in growing it out. And when I do grow it out, it won’t be because someone told me to or because someone said I would look better that way, but because I truly want it for myself. Sorry for the long read, but I thought my input on this would be important. This disorder has been a struggle and I’ve been through really dark days because of it, but it has also been a learning experience and I’m learning to accept it more each day, and I hope others can, too, whether they are struggling with it themselves or know someone who might/is

I feel you. I started pulling apart my split ends as a teenager. Then, years later, the cutting of the bangs began. Tiny tiny pieces at a time. The more I cut, the more I became obsessed with symmetry. Then they were gone. Then it would go away for months. I lost my professional job I worked so hard at. It kicked in big time. I seemed help in a ocd group. Nobody there had the same obsession as me. The men in the group said I'm bald and you hair grows. That was it. As it progressed, I started doing the perimeter: bangs, around my ears & the back. Then it went away for some time. Then years later, I got a new boss who picked on me non stop. I had to retire early. Since then it's been a constant thing. I'm a hat girl now and very depressed and ashamed to be seen. I've been on every drug out there without success. I'm in therapy at the present time. You are my hero...

I've suffered with this for the past 4 ish years. it's so relieving to know I'm not the only one. thank you. I'm crying as I'm typing this, that's how relieved I am. I also have hypothyroidism but I was born with it and have been on levothyroxine all my life. in 2019 I bleached the shit out of my shoulder length hair and cut bangs that didn't sit right so I kept cutting and cutting until I had these tiny bangs that looked sort of rockabilly but didn't suit my face. my hair felt so horrible and dry and brittle and also looked bad. I decided to shave it off, but needed a reason, so I did the world's greatest shave and raised a bit of money for the leukemia foundation. as it was growing out I kept impulsively dyeing it until it looked like a grown out pixie and I'd gone back to brown trying to match it to my natural colour. I was going well for a few months but then I kept cutting it so it stayed the same length for almost a year. then I decided to bleach my hair, first round looked so patchy and bad so I did it again and still was too yellow. so I got it professionally done. after a few months I dyed it close to my natural colourand then I left it and it grew 2 inches. until this week. I have been cutting it every day for the past 3 days because the parts that were bleached don't feel healthy even after heaps of olaplex and hair masks. I hated the texture. my hair is now at a below chin length and my sister is holding onto my scissors and thinning shears. again thank you so much for sharing this because I've felt alone with this for so long but today I finally decided to do some research about it.

Thank you for sharing this, I've been suffering with my obsession of wanting long hair and obviously trimming it is counterproductive to having it long

I have this very same problem. I am OCD. I get so frustrated with being OCD. It’s a problem I have been dealing with since I was young and I am now 48. I just had an issue yesterday. I actually like my hair better shorter. I’ve always had compliments when my hair is short. I typically wear it like Halle Berry and for some reason it makes me feel more confident. But I think I try sometimes to grow it out just to say I can or maybe to cut it and go get it cut shorter again by a professional. I find I do cut it more when it’s short because I wear it pieces and no one really can tell. Like you I’ve learned several techniques and because I am OCD and a perfectionist, I really try to make it look right, not just cut. But the main thing is cutting just to make me “feel” better, when really that is not true. It always makes me feel worse. Even if I say I like the way it looks better, it steel makes me feel worse to know I have done it and can’t control myself. It’s funny how many times I’ve read people like me do this when their life is out of control to feel like it’s the one thing they have control over. But really we don’t (or at least I don’t) even have control over this. It’s a spontaneous result to a stressful situation that I literally can’t stop or can’t control. I’ve thought for so many years I was the only one. I am so glad to know I’m not. I’ve found talking about it does help. I told one friend I used to work with a few years ago. Then I told my hairstylist and I felt so much better after I told her. It’s still awkward letting her know I cut what she just fixed like I did last night. But it gets a little easier every time and like they say confession is good for the soul. Thank you all here for your confession so I know I’m not alone in this.

Honestly I appreciated hearing your story, and i understand that feeling where you have a struggle thay feels too unique to share with anyone. But I admire your boldness in opening up. While I dont wish to let labels like trochotemnomania define me I don't want to hide the fact that I struggle with obsessive urges to shave my head. While I think I look fine with no hair, I dont like that I often have these obsessive thoughts about my appearance and feel unsatisfied until I shave all the way. Then once I go bald, I feel like I did something wrong by feeding the obsession. Wish I knew how to tell my close friends and my church small group about the obsessive thoughts but I do not know where to start. I am more concerned about the obsessove aspect of it but I should probably grow my hair out for winter anyway and to look more professional as well as to conquer the obsession.

So glad you managed to grow out your hair. Xx

i thought i was crazy for going though this, i see i’m not alone… it has ruined my life to the point where i’m on antidepressants but even they don’t see them to be working..

I'll watch any video you make , dear . I'll do anything I can to help you . I know the suffering you're going through .

I don't know if what I've been experiencing lately is the same but I just have this urge to cut and cut at my hair, it's kinda slowly appeared with me just cutting off split ends and I feel as though it's been getting slowly worst. I have shortish hair, it grows fast but I prefer it short and the last time I went I got it shorter with bangs. So now the bangs have grown out and it's been getting worst, everytime I see myself in a camrea or a pair of scissors I just want to cut at it. I'll cut a couple of random strands at the top or a bit off the ends but tonight I cut my bangs (My hair is curly so I'm very careful with it and spent like an hour taking small bits off and making sure that it'll look decent when it dries) It's not noticeable to anyone and it doesn't make me happy or sad or anything, if I feel something it's regret or dread. Its just an urge to either get rid of it, to make it look better or to change it. Idk it's a very confusing thing. I looked it up and I only found this by chance, most of the results are "why it feels better when you cut your hair" but like it's not that and I don't feel like it's bad yet so I don't want to bring it up to my parents or a doctor since with how unknown the condition is it would be brushed aside. Its really confusing. I also feel like if I bring it up people will say "oh you're a teenage girl you are finding yourself and trying stuff out" or get mad at me and tell me to just stop. Idk it's like I don't want to cut my hair until I get a sudden urge to. It's very difficult to ignore it as well, I either cut my hair, scratch at my eczema or pull out threads or bite the inside of my mouth until I bleed. Idk if it could be related to my autism or anything like that. Its just very hard to draw conclusions with all the uncertainty around the condition. :/

i couldnt get my hair cut during covid so i gave myself a haircut, and i never really stopped giving myself a haircut. The past 1 year its so been so bad that my hair cant get beyond 1 week of growth before i have to shave my hair down to a buzzcut so that its all even. but i really want to grow it out. i tried getting rid of all the scissors and my bathroom mirror today. well see

Start accept the hair betwen the fingers ,over and over again.parctice keepingn the hair in your finger. at first is harder than become easyer and easayer. After 1 week u belive it can be controled and can avoid cutting. And than continue over and over again

I’m not laughing, but I did have to go in and take a few snips. I started in again, “tearing my hair out with style”, as I call it, about a year ago. My sister was dying from cancer after a 7 year battle. I’m not even sure if this was why. So many whys in an overflowing bucket I think till cutting my hair off was the only way I could show that I was truly going through some awful stuff. But the moment of truth through tears when it’s not quite right and you can’t go out in public for a couple weeks till it’s grown slightly and a couple more proper snips make it work again. Thankfully my hair still grows at least a half inch every month. I guess this is good, except it keeps me constantly snipping. Where does it end this time? I don’t know. I always get to the end, but it can take a couple years or so. It ends when I finally find a shop to go to and start working with someone who helps me grow it again. I’m 68 now, and it’s 🎉that I don’t look nice in a short do, but it’s very different to be doing what I’m doing as opposed to having it done and leaving it alone between trims. I think, for me, it’s a form of self-stim, and that it’s part of being on the autism spectrum; something I’m beginning to realize is likely my reality. Well… I’ve made it this far in life, and I suppose I’ll keep making it, regardless of my hair cutting. I’ve never cut shorter than a more or less pixie cut. My profile picture in the bubble is OLD, FYI.

I have this too .. I feel so bad and alone... Really alone wit my trouble

You need to work on your openings. We didn't click on this video to hear about your setup. Constructive criticism