This happened to me, i was abandoned by my parents at age 9, i had to grow up by myself, ran away from care, got into a lot of trouble and by age 21 i had changed my life around. I met my ex while working together. We were in love (so i thought) we were together for 4 years, she knew everything about how my parents just up and left and i had no contact with them since. She left me on the day of my friends funeral of who i had to cut down from hanging and try and resusitate. Days before his funeral i was with my friends family for most of those days. The day before his funeral she said she was upset that i wasnt soending time with her. I tried to say that its only for these few days, im the only person who was there for him all through what he went through. I was the one who found him because i knew something was wrong and i knew where he would be. So i had to be strong for his family. Day of hos funeral she said she had to go to her mums in the morning but shed be back before 11am. I havnt heard from her since. Its been a year now and last month her friend who also blocked me aswell drunk called me telling me how my ex is with this guy now. The guy was a dude she said was prt of her big school friendship group. I saw them messaging the whole way through our relationship but i never worried because i trusted her. Yeah so now the last unconfusing thing i have of her was my memories and now theyre all ruined aswell knowing she was in love with him the while time. She was in a relationship with him days after my friends funeral. Im still hurting from all of it. I failed a suicide attempt last year where i hung myself. Im okay now i just couldnt move my legs for a while after damaging my neck. That was last august and im finally healing now. Im trying to let go of her but she keeps just randomly popping up in the weirdest ways. Her new boyfriend messaged me last week to say that ‘you put your hands on her, so i will put my hands on you’ as a threat. But the thing is that everyone thats knows me knows i would never do anything like that. Im the calmest guy, i would never even raise my voice at her. And she used to always get annoyed and shout at me ‘why are you so calm and always right about everything’ why would she lie about me abusing her? That really hurts my soul. Ive been through so much abuse as a kid and i would never even dream of doing anything like that to her. I didnt reply to the guy because i geniunly dont even know what to say. Part of me wants to strangle him for talking to her while i was with her. But the other part of me just wants to move on and i dont get why they are even talking about me or anything. Im so confused and hurt by all this stuff. I will get over it fully soon. Ive deleted and blocked all of her friends and stuff now. Its like she wont ever talk to me again as im blocked literally everywhere, but she wants to keep causing me pain. Anyways sorry to ramble on, writing this helps me feel better about myself. Not just hating myself for her leaving.
I just had this happen! I had shared with him my previous experience with a long distance situationship of four years. He had said to me that the guy didn’t deserve me and was a selfish narcissist using me for his own emotional gain. He seemed to be listening and showing empathy for where I was. I agreed to do long distance with him but I shared I don’t want to start something if it was just going to be a visit here and a visit there. He insisted he was looking for longer term than that and he “wanted to do life with me.” Long story short , after my visit there, he said he’d see me in. 30 days….he was coming back to where I live for another visit. Never happened. He became cold and distant when I asked if August was still happening. He escalated arguments into these circular arguments that were hurtful where he’d threaten to end everything and block me. He said he’d post our pictures on his Facebook but he never did. Didn’t even post just scenic pics of the trips. Basically kept me hidden. There’s much more but this is already getting long. I think I was with a narcissist.
I too lost my husband. My husband was a good, mentally healthy and stable man. I was blindsided with the narc because I never dealt with anyone like him before. He wasn't married. I would NOT dare a married man. It's just hard when you just want love. You never REPLACE a spouse but you try to fill the void
He discarded me after a YEAR of telling me I was the love of his life, he'd never find anyone as good as me, i was his rock etc. He moved on after literally 2 weeks! Now he's telling everyone he regrets being with me and told me she is 100x better than me because she's Christian and I'm not. I tolerated so much abuse from him just for him to go on with his life like I never existed. He excuses all his bad behaviour on the fact that I'm not Christian. I feel so incredibly betrayed. I wasted a year of my life just for him to move on in 2 weeks and block me. It's not fair that he's fallen in love and is happy. I didn’t deserve this
My narc husband (now ex) discarded me for a girl whose husband passed away, suddenly, nine months prior. She missed a big red flag -- that he was married (and living with me), but I suspect she was still in a grief/trauma frame of mind and chose to believe whatever BS he was feeding her. It's sad, as I'm sure she wanted to replace her husband, find another relationship with stability, etc. He's a textbook narc and she'll soon be experiencing his narc treatment which is far from a normal, healthy or stable relationship.
I was easy prey after my ex husband passed away- the father of my children. I married a man who was an overt narcissist who promised to be my knight in shining armor. He was the opposite. He did much damage to me and my children. They still resent me for marrying him and I divorced him 4 1/2 years ago.
@@allforthegloryofjesuschris6250 Its all very sad how these people operate. And I've never figured out if it's subconscious or intentional. I hope you and your kids can become understanding and all agree it's in the past and chalk it up to a lesson.
@@cindyallen4831 They made it clear two nights ago they are going to keep bringing up the past and reminding me of my mistakes. So for now my children are seeking victimhood instead of being overcomers. I am a warrior for Jesus and I live for him now not seeking to please anyone but him.
My ex narc was ‘love bombing’ his high school ex behind my back after her husband died and then her mother. He and I met after MY mother died. We seemed perfect together and everything was great until he started the random senseless arguments and raging ‘out of the blue’. In hindsight, it was clear he was intentionally doing these things to get me to leave and tell everyone ‘he tried’ so he could save his ‘image’. He wanted to be ‘friends’ until I found out about her and then he refused to pay back money he owed me, blocked me and went on a ‘smear campaign’ to his family, who I was close with. He is one of the most heartless humans on the planet and I feel bad for her. But she wouldn’t have believed me had I tried to warn her. He’s a master actor and thief, and it took me awhile to piece together ‘what happened’ here. She’s just new supply. 🙏😢😔☠️ Ben is doing an amazing thing to help raise awareness of the many faces a narc wears. His messages single-handedly have changed my whole perspective and aided in my growth and healing. I NEVER thought this could be what my ex was doing, nor that he’d do it to me. Major pain, major wake-up call. Awareness at 💯❤️🤗😍🥰
I'm finding myself feeling very confused. I began dating my ex shortly after she had a "rebound" with her ex (we had dated a bit before this, a couple of weeks after she broke up with him for the first time). It feels like she was spending time with whoever was able to give her the most attention at the time. She opened up to me about her trauma and what she went through, and I was hooked. I thought I could help her with unpacking her trauma and love her, while setting aside my own needs and wants (this is due to my own codependency issues that I'm working on). After two years together, it became apparent to me that she was manipulative and emotionally abusive (she is very possibly a covert narcissist), and that I had to get out for my own well-being. Now I've been doing a lot of self-gaslighting, and thinking that *I'M* the narcissistic person, that *I'M* the toxic person, but that's the narrative she was pushing, and what she wanted me to believe - that I was wrong for expressing my feelings, and that I was the one causing problems in the relationship by doing so. I hear this is quite common for people that get out of relationships like that. I keep blaming myself for not leaving when it became apparent that she was still working through her past relationship trauma, but then I remind myself that she could have said the same and ended things. It's left me feeling very confused.
What about never saying I love you, hiding you from friends and family, lying about the nature of the relationship. Then finally committing and saying this shows love, but controlling every aspect of the relationship
Thank u for that,my Narc,after 4 months,has started to Hoover me,and hes still with his new victim Last week the flying monkeys are out and about now,his brother,has been in contact with my friend,so whats coming next,i hate to think,im always looking over my shoulder.
Not sure if you've answered this or not but what made you take it a step further than just healing yourself as well as others? As well as do you think with enough therapy a narcissist is capable of being able to tap into their emotional as well as compassionate empathy?
