r/AmITheA**hole For Kicking All the Women Out of My Wedding? 

"Stepdad" has no legal meaning and confers no rights or responsibilities. If the new husband is not assigned as legal guardian, then has no leg to stand on. ALSO: Bravo!! To the husband that stood up to his toxic family; you sir are an example to us all. That's how it should be.

So, for the first story: OP did try to make his daughter clean the house once before, but she stopped eating to the point where she had to go to the hospital. That's why he chose a different punishment

"Noone should sleep without a roof over their head" Tell that to the maid who's job almost got nuked and SHE was almost left without a roof over her head. That brat was in a dire need for a wake up call.

For the last story: I recently had a friend tell me her cousin’s wedding had a white dress group. But the grandmother was at the door of the venue sitting on her walker armed with a water gun with red food coloring. She shot the offenders. And it was so it looked really bad. The bride only found out much later.

As a dude in his late 20's I can firmly say that grandma op is not the butthole. I'd take it a step further and tell my 40 year old son to either step up as a father or ill leave his inheritance to the grandchild and the baby mama.

First story: She almost got someone fired just for a tantrum? That's a really Karen move. She needs a reality check and fast.

That was beyond accusing someone of theft. That was trying to frame someone for theft. False accusations are bad, but trying to frame someone is criminal. I would have told the daughter not only are you sleeping outside, but I am saving the recording to show to the police and everyone else if she doesn’t straighten out.

The daughter FRAMED the housemaid for theft, and has the audacity to whine about the punishment? She's lucky they don't call the cops on her. In fact, that may be the wakeup call she needs, especially with that mother trying to downplay her gross behaviour. This is not a one-off incident: it is simply an escalation of her worsening behaviour. OP did the right thing in stomping hard on her. Actions have consequences. Something the mother should also be teaching her, instead of trying to fluff things up.

That women circle is so messed up. New girl around? Let's break her and have her conform under the dusguise of a silly prank. It's so unbelievably toxic. OP even warned them multiple times to NOT do that and made it the consequence very clear. Well they kept pushing and suffered for it. Good for OP for standig up for his wife.

Daughter: *insulting housemaid many times and calling her a thief* OP: *punishes her* Daughter: *CONFUSED SCREAMING*

Last story: OP did EXACTLY what he should've done, and in doing so showed his entire family, his new wife and her family that there WILL be consequences for disrespecting their boundaries.... OP should get negative buttholes for this one

That step dad was just afraid of losing his chore slave, not that his son would become lazy.

“If you can’t tell the difference between “tough love” and abuse, then it’s abuse” As a child abuse survivor, I 100% agree. This isn’t “tough love”, this is an abusive man who’s bullying a child, harassing a child, threatening to destroy a child’s belongings constantly, just urgh. The mans a bully.

“Getting a reaction” out of the bride is literally a textbook definition of bullying

That last story is about a family of "mean girls". Bravo for standing up for your wife. And it's time the other women grow up!

"Escorting all the bullies out one by one while the others Just watched..." The other men were in awe at the size of the groom's balls. Good work OP.

Second story: “Adam won’t be responsible if he has an Xbox!” Love how the stepdad ignores that Adam worked a job that HAD responsibilities to pay for his OWN Xbox

With the wedding story, is there any way to give OP negative buttholes? He deserves some extra credit for standing so firm to defend his wife. Those two are going to make it.

The stepdad story makes me so mad because that’s how my stepdad acts- when I was like 9 I asked my mum about moving in with my dad just because I was curious I didn’t even want to but she told my stepdad that I threatened to leave. He in retaliation went up to my room, got my PlayStation which I loved to death and smashed it INFRONT of me. Just for being curious a grown man smashed a 9 year olds ps4

ex wife: "He wouldn't have destroyed the Xbox if he didn't care Me: If that's caring I would hate to see what not caring would look like

That last story sounds like a cycle of abuse too. Break down a person, then give them a chance to join, and when they do, rinse and repeat. Which is why they didn’t see a problem with this.

Rslash sure sounds like a city dweller when he says "isn't there a safety concern when a 16 year old sleeps in the backyard'. The family has a maid which says they are doing well financially, so I'm pretty sure they have a pretty nice backyard that isn't available for the public to look at.

Let them all wear white and show up in something bright and colorful to your wedding. make them blend in while you stand out

Story 1: NTA. As the old saying goes "desperate times call for desperate measures". If OP's daughter still refuses to cut out the bad influence on her, you have to take a more drastic approach. The problem with today's society is exactly this: parents refusing to dole out harsh punishments when they know their children have repeatedly flouted rules, which is a primary reason why we get all these Reddit entitled people stories. Story 2: NTA. I am willing to bet the stepdad is also a manipulative narcissist, cause the ex-wife clearly is oblivious about her new husband's behavior. If there's any silver lining to this story, OP's son should be glad he has a pillar of support against the power tripping stepdad. Most children who suffered abuse never have that pillar of support, which explains why they get so screwed up down the line. Story 3: NTA. However, I have to be critical and say OP has failed as a parent, given the way his son behaved. Something is definitely wrong with one's parenting if the child grows up to be so immature and irresponsible. Story 4: NTA big time. OP, I hate to say it, but there is something wrong in your household to raise this toxic "hen house". Props to you for laying down the law, but I cannot say the same for the rest of the men in your family. Certain people will criticize me for saying this, but women love to pull these "tests" to see how much they can get away with their BS, and unfortunately for OP, his family failed miserably. Best to go "no contact" with these family members, cause I fear it's a lost cause. EDIT: Typos and grammar

The daughter didn't just accuse the maid of being a thief, but framed her and manipulated her parents - the whole scenario was a setup by the daughter to get the maid in trouble/fired. If this happened in the real world, which she's only a few years away from entering, that level of maliciousness will likely result in being fired from jobs, expelled from institutions, and thrown out of social circles. If the dad softballs the punishment and she doesn't learn here, continuing her ways will destroy her life. What she did was very wrong, and she needs to appreciate that. If she can't turn around in the long term, even after reasonable punishment and patience, disowning is probably all that can be done - I hope it doesn't get that far.

4th story: the fact that they try to crash a wedding and then play the victim card is astounding. Like NO you're not the one wronged here

You don’t prank the bride during the wedding, this is how you ruin someone’s marriage

Last story: I would have worn a deep scarlet wedding dress and made them part of a theme without them knowing!

The last story: that isn't teasing it's generational bullying. Good on OP for breaking the cycle!

For the four story: they beat people down emotionally to the point that when they finally except that person said person joins in on the emotional torment… That sounds like something a cult would do. They are creating a cult.

The grandma stepping up to take care of her grand-daughter is so sweet... I really hope she doesn't cave to her son & daughter's demands to cut ties with the kid & her mum. That happened to me when I was 4, & at 40, it still hurts.

Story 4: Op has a very tough spine to stand up to multiple close family members and to do so consistently and come out of it with a little bit of doubt is really admirable. I hope op knows just how strong his resolve is to do that for his wife. Most people would have caved or cut contact, but on that note, I think it would be best to cut contact and not to contact them again under any circumstances. He has his new family now and these people will only tear it down.

"Xbox Can Not Swim" One: Why does this need to be said And Two: I love these chapter names so damn much

The word of the day is: Consequences. Actions have them.

The wedding story. I'd sue them for the cost of the wedding they ruined! This was sick.

One of my favourite words from Chinese internet slang is "wife-defending demon", usually used to describe (with positive intent) fictional characters who are very devoted to and protective of their wives. OP from the last story is a wife-defending demon, as he should be.

Did all those supposedly adult women just try the "it's just a prank bro" defense?

1st story - OP definitely should have made his daughter clean the house.

A family isn't some sorority You don't get to haze people that are getting married into the family Especially when it's literally straight up bullying All the women in OP's family seem super toxic And that's how you deal with toxic people Doesn't matter that they're family

The moment the step dad said he had the “right” to do what he wanted to Adam, I would have shut that shit down right then. You are NOT his father. You do NOT get that right.

Edit on the first story: The reason I chose this punishment was because of the fact that my daughter says she is a germaphobe and use this as excuse to insult others hygiene and appearance, our backyard has dirt and bugs in it and this kind of things get her uncomfortable but other than that the backyard is 100% safe Question/ why doesn't she clean up and do house chores as punishment instead?. because I've already tried this punishment before and it didn't work because she deliberately stopped eating for days to get out of it, and ended up in the emergency department for low blood pressure

In the last post, according to Rslash “ A prank is only a prank when everyone laughs “ and from what I can ascertain, only the women in OP’s family would be laughing. The mother saying that they would change their clothes afterwards is an outright lie. I believe that they would have taken pictures in those white outfits. Also they would clown and ridicule your wife every time she shows up at a family engagement. OP definitely is NTA because he set clear concise boundaries and they disregarded them and disrespected his wife on their most important day. Personally I’d go no contact with all of them. Their narcissistic and cruel.

Story 1: grew up with a cleaning lady who cleaned my house every friday (i lived with my mom and grandparents, she works for my grandparents). I can not imagine being harsh to her at all, i grew up with her. I can’t fucking imagine being rude to someone i grew up with. Shame on her.

Wedding dress story: OP's relatives showed who they are, and they're clearly trash, so OP should just throw them out of his life and be done with it.

That last story. That doesn’t sound like teasing, it sounds like hazing. “We’re testing to see if they can be part of the family” is in no way innocent here or in any case

Story 1: Was actually going to suggest what you did. If the maid cleaning certain areas is 'filthy', then how about the maid doesn't, it gets filthier, daughter can clean it herself if she has a problem. Daughter can clean the whole damned house if she hates the maid so much. Story 2: It's abuse, plain and simple. I absolutely loathe anyone who just destroys their childs' property to assert power. My besties step dad literally smacked a PS4 because his siblings were fighting over who got to play Mario. It wasn't tough love, it was scary, it was traumatizing, it was wasteful. Story 3: Son sounds a man baby. OP's just being a good person. I can guess whose getting more inheritance lol. Story 4: You know there's this word we used in primary school, I think it was called... hm, what was it? Right! "Bullying!" It's not cute, it's just cruel. OP warned them very clearly that he'd kick out anyone that showed up in white, they ignored him and acted like infants. OP sounds like a great husband. Read comments, realised in Story 1 the dad _did_ try that suggestion but she went on hunger strikes like an immature brat. Option 2 then, just don't have the maid clean, give her a paid vacation.

OP showed his loyalty to his wife and he did an amazing job. I reccomend telling your dad that a divorce might be needed because this mom just sucks and needs a bit of sadness to sprinkle in. And same with all the men that are married to these women sorry if that seems rude but they are toxic and so much more that isn't someone anyone should be married with.

Wearing white dresses in a wedding and using it as a test and a prank is so messed up. A group of women wearing white dresses in someone elses wedding is Toxic and thinks its funny to try and ruin someone elses special day as a Prank and a test.

Hi, the OP on the first story actually tried that. But his daughter didn't eat for over a week and went to ER to not do the punishment. So he HAD to be creative and used her phobia to force her to realize that the maid is who is keeping the place safe for her.

Lily is so fortunate to have an amazing grandparent in OP. If anything OP needs to cut off their kids who are complaining because the baby is innocent and deserves to be loved and looked after. I also love that OP is helping the mom get her degree. OP may have failed at raising decent children but at least they're making up for their mistakes.

I gotta give props to that grandmother for caring about that poor woman and the child. She didn’t even know the woman, she was just her son’s one night stand, but the grandmother took them in anyways and accepted them as family. That’s a negative butthole score in my opinion

About the wedding story, he should go by his wife's maiden name and leave those emotionally toxic fucks behind. why have a bad family when you have good inlaws?

The wedding story, let’s take the wife out of the picture for a second. The son set a boundary and his mother decided that a potential prank, was more important than her own son’s wedding. She choose the prank, she choose the drama, she chooses the punishment.

Story 1: I agree with the punishment. OP's daughter calling someone "filthy" and making fun of their clothes and etiquette is very much wrong. She doesn't seem to know what "filthy" means, so it would be good for her to actually "understand" what that truly entails. As for her being "germophobe", I call BS on that otherwise she wouldn't even have tried placing one of her belongings in someone's purse/pocket, especially when they call said someone "filthy." OP most likely set up a tent for her and didn't explain it. She deserves it. Furthermore considering the fact that if she does that to the housemade, how do you think she treats homeless people? (Reminds me of that other story where a parent did a similar thing to their child and that taught them some empathy too.) Story 2: Tough love? That stepfather is a fucking idiot, and one has to wonder if that's "Just" the only thing he has been doing to the kid. Property Damage is a crime and the guy could be sued for it. Adam's mother is also an enabler too, so yeah, she deserves the score. Story 3: OP's daughter and son are fucking maniacs. I'd disown both of them for their shitty attitude. Son is a selfish bastard and daughter is a moronic bitch by suggesting cutting ties with her niece's family. Story: 4 The initial description sounds more like a cult than anything else, wtf? Not the asshole. They had clear guidelines they disrespected. Any of those cult-like "cliques" within families are 100% to be cut off as soon as possible. Good on OP for standing up for his wife and for sticking to his boundaries. I'd go no contact with them from that point onward.

Regarding the last segment: That's not "teasing," that's flat-out hazing. It has all the earmarks, especially when the hazee becomes a hazer in the next hazing episode. The hazers, like all bullies, don't seem to like being hazed back, though.

Literally wearing white dresses or anything flashy that takes away from the bride is absolutely disrespectful to the bride and is generally widely known *not* to do. It's literally Wedding Guest 101. Good on Groom for standing up for his Queen!

4th story NTA Gotta love how they pull the classic “Just a prank bro excuse.” No it’s not a prank it’s them trying to be attention seekers at someone else’s wedding day.

Isn't Adam old enough to choose who he wants to stay with at this point? This level of abuse should be enough to call CPS on the stepfather.

Story 2: all I’ll say is, parents that put their new significant others and what they say and their bs above the well being and mental and emotional health of their child, don’t deserve to be parents

For the wedding OP: If my family members had pulled that crap with my wife, I wouldn't be complaining about not seeing them for two weeks. If I didn't see them again until the heat death of the universe, it would be too soon. The sheer gall and toxicity isn't worth causing trouble in your new marriage. 0/5 for OP, and I 100% agree with rSlash on the 5/5 for the women. The men in the family get 3/5 for staying silent and supporting them instead of standing up for what's right.

First OP's tried having his daughter do the chores, but she went on a hunger strike. Grounding wouldn't work because she still needs to go to school. I'd say this is situation that calls for an "unusual" punishment (and he gave her a tent and stuff, so she wasn't just sleeping on the ground exposed to the elements).

Story 1: If they can afford a maid, I'm sure they have a decent backyard. They probably have some nice comfy pool chairs she can sleep in. A brat that thinks calling someone filthy, then nearly getting that someone arrested because her parent grounded her from A PARTY, deserves to sleep outside, in the dirt.

the story about the family “testing the waters” infuriates me more than i can contain SHOW UP TO THE WEDDING WEARING WHITE is a whole new low bullying was already bad enough but ruining their special day knowing full well wearing the same colour as the bride is a taboo and still did it is so fucked

Give her a tent and a sleeping bag. She'll be fine. Trying to destroy someone's livelihood can lead them to being homeless. Let her love with the potential repercussions of her own perfidy.

The idea of a bunch of clucking hens "testing" someone else is both enraging and hilarious to me. The only thing they would be testing at my wedding is my fucking patience to hire a bouncer who owns a TASER. Family or not, Mother or not, this sounds absolutely ridiculous.

I think there was a similar story to the 1st one about a girl insulting a homeless man and the mother punished her daughter by making her sleep outside in a tent, making her think about how she treated people. I'd say the first story is similar, even if the circumstances are slightly different. R Slash agreed with the homeless punishment, this one isn't much different.

2nd story: I understand the need for tough love sometimes and maybe Adam was slacking a bit, I mean wouldn't any child be if they finally bought something they were saving up for. But in that case the "tough love" they need is a stern conversation and maybe some time limitations or if it gets really bad, take it away like OP says. Destroying something is never an act of love, so destroying something from your child (whether they bought it or you did doesn't matter) can never be "tough love" it's just that simple. 4th story: rSlash reads the title *record scratch* tab back into youtube to rewind a bit. Well this is gonna be an easy one *grab popcorn* well I agree with rSlash just take the win and hope they leave you alone completely and remember to inform everyone of the full story if they start lying on social media.

To be honest, first time I read the title I thought the story was going to be about a VERY insecure bride

For the third story, I’d love to see an update a few years later hoping that if the little girl actually meets that worst excuse son, she’d run to OP in fear and ask “Mommy told me to never talk to strangers!” Honestly, he should’ve gotten 100 assholes out of 5.

My family has the same ideal of "joking around" where it gets taken way too far, and my boyfriend refuses to go anywhere near their home because of it, and I whole heartedly agree. Not the Butthole.

Oh my gosh, that 3rd story. The grandma is so sweet despite having such a horrid son. Imagine being the girl being a single mom and being dumped by the baby daddy, just to have his mother graciously help in every and any way she can. What a wonderful grandmother ❤️

When I hear stories like that last one, it makes me so thankful I have a normal family.

3rd story: OP should've also gotten a lawyer so that his son learns about consequences. Not wanting to be around the kid is one thing, but purposely quiting your job so you don't have to pay child support is beyond selfish. Depending on the state, the son can still face legal trouble not paying, even if he doesn't have a job. The last story sounds too unreal...women like this exist?? Also, what happens when one of the females brings in a guy to this family? Does he face the same treatment too? I commend OP for digging his feet so far down the ground that even a tornado wouldn't budge him.

first story: that’s something my father threatened to do to us if we ever a ted like jerks to people. unless that guy’s father is one of those entitled snobs it’s very likely he himself was threatened with the same thing as a teen third story: that’s exactly like my former BIL, only OP’s son isn’t defrauding the government by using his kid as a way of escaping paying any taxes or liens

There was a story I heard on one of these RU-vid channels where the mom made their daughter sleep outside because they were being mean to a homeless person and afterwards the daughter learned what it's like to be a homeless person and so having the daughter in this first story clean the stuff that the maid would have cleaned is a more fitting punishment

I like how he listed all types of family members at 15:45 as if they were viable options for choosing as a "life partner" 💀

Bad weather? They described it as hot at night. That sounds kind of comfortable for outdoor sleeping. And they never said there was no tent involved.

Anyone else notice that since Rslash became a father he has been reading a lot of family stories

Respect to the first dad,you did a good thing. Given that they can afford a maid and have the resources to make a teenage Karen feel like she's the princess of everywhere I'm sure that the garden/yard is a safe place to sleep in,she will feel icky ,unkempt and small af for a day ,but that is absolutely necessary.

Stepdad: I want to teach him to be a responsible adult. Also stepdad: teaches child it’s ok to break someone’s stuff if they don’t listen to your demands...

I love how the family in the wedding story was testing to see if the bride was “one of those bridezillas” by the women wearing all white to her wedding. As if that wouldn’t be something that make anybody understandably upset in that situation.

The last story. I give OP so much credit to stand up against his toxic family for the woman he loves! Most people who are in toxic families have a hard time seeing how toxic it is and even if they do usually don't have the strength to set hard boundaries with them. I am so glad to see that there is Real men out there like this that exist! Plus, if they did accept her into the family they would have bullied her to make her just like them and she would probably go along with it because she wouldn't want to ruin your relationship with your family. He saved his wife and himself a lot of future heartache by doing what he did and I'm so happy to hear he stood by the woman he loved in such a hard situation. Well done OP!!!

OMG 😳 that 4th story was crazy. What's more telling is the men married to these women, they are spineless. I'm glad the groom in this story isn't following their twisted mean ways. Standing up to your family for the sake of your new bride in my opinion is exactly what needed to be done.

man, just seeing OP in the last story saying the female relatives make a 'unit' made me feel sick. when i was a kid, i'd team up with my siblings and cousin to bully a younger cousin, and damn i cringe about it. suddenly reminds me of the time my friends made a secret group behind my back discussing on who my crush was when a best friend accidentally slipped it out, it made my head and heart hurt like hell. maybe it was what i deserve as karma years later, but damn, i just hate it when people form groups to gang up on people. anyway. edit : oh God, what kind of story did i just listen to...?

In that last story, I would have greeted them with a super soaker with red colored dye.

The toxic family wedding story makes his family sound like a damn cult. How toxic and gross do they gotta be towards other ppl and childish to act like petty, immature children

Once heard someone was going to a friend's weddings in a white dress. I stood by the door with a squirt gun full of red wine

2nd Story- Adam’s dad should have said “You don’t tell my kid what to do because you aren’t his dad, I am”

For the first story there was an update from OP that explained that he has one of those high-security fenced in backyards, as well as one of those fancy brick patios, and basically those idealistic backyards so she was completely protected and didn’t even have to touch dirt if she didn’t want to.

As absolutely horrible as the daughter was, the punishment wouldn't teach anything to her. OP could totally have gotten creative with it, and most likely got better results.

The story with the 40 year old son is terrible. I wonder how he can pay for his stuff after quitting his job? If I were his mother, I'd probably disown him. Because that's basically what he did to his child.

I’m so happy you’re a dad. When your child grows, it sounds like your punishments will be fair lol. Great job, slash ☺️😅

Simple solution for “ladies man.” Disinherit him and put mom and granddaughter in will.

Thank you for another AITA video. These are definitely my favorite!

Xbox Can Not Swim: While the step-dad is out for a swim.. plug in the lawnmower.. start mowing.. drop it in the pool.. Oops..

Story 3: Son's going to be really angry when he finds out he's been skipped over in the will for the grandchild. Maybe should have kept that higher-paying job.

I would have give my house keeper the daughter’s phone, and buy her a flip phone as punishment

RSlash, he has a full time maid, his outdoor is probably safer than the inside of your house. I guarantee the daughter will remember this and she should, he needed to get her attention.

The thing is, when someone lies when telling the story to people uninvolved, it means they know they were in the wrong and are making a last ditch effort to make you look bad. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t need to lie in the first place. It is essentially an admission of guilt

A whole part of the family being insulting and recruiting new people to join in is a level of toxic family I've never heard of until now.