r/AmITheA**hole My Roommate Robbed Me, and Wants ME to Pay HER! 

1st Story, OP had an update: “Edit/update: So I visited Jilian in the hospital today and she apologized to me for what happened. It was an accident. She said she didn't eat my kare-kare but took some rice. She didn't realize that some sauce got on the rice bowl, so there was clearly a cross contamination. It wasn't her who went in my room, it was Trish and another housemate, Ian. I will be charging them for the stolen beer and food. I will definitely buy a lock after this incident. Thank you all for your advice, judgement and awards!” So it wasn’t even Jillian that gave herself the allergic reaction. It was the effing roommates who did and decided to place the blame on OP in order to get it off themselves. What garbage people

Story 3: how the hell you going to lead your best friend on in such an obvious way and then get mad at him for taking the bait. That's literally entrapment.

The "getting into pants" one: In legal circles (obligatory notalawyer disclaimer) this could be considered entrapment. She came onto him and, when he was showing no signs of wanting to make a move on her, practically BEGGED him to make a move on her; then, when he asked (JUST asked) if he might make a move on her, after she had been sending all these signals indicating she wanted such, she got mad and blamed him. There's really only two words for a friend like that: "Good riddance."

As someone who had long term fertility problems I can say this with complete sympathy. That insane Karen neighbour, should NEVER be a parent!

Last story: It's like a person without legs asking the people around them to stop walking.

Nieghbor: "How dare you play with your infant in your own living room!"

Story 3: Toying with people's hearts is unforgivable. That kind of assumption is mean as hell.

Oh my god, does that lady expect to just never see a pregnant person or baby again? And looking in op’s living room and backyard? That’s nuts.

Why do I feel like Jess is insecure enough that if he rejected her she would have gotten offended? I just feel like that immaturity in the prank doesn't end there.

The last segment is an instance of true narcissistic entitlement: World, conform to my wishes! And OP's mom sounds like she literally falls over when leaning backwards to please others.

Friend makes a move and blames me story: Why on Earth did you apologize to her? She needs to apologize to you. She was the one being manipulative, hurtful, and wrong. Yet, you apologized to her. That's ridiculous. Don't ever do that again OP.

There was an update/edit to the 1st story. Jillian didn't go into OP's room. Her gf and one of the other roommates did. She ate some of the rice (which gf and roommate got off OP's mini fridge) and some of the sauce got on the rice. She apologized for what happened. *edit to fix grammar/spelling*

Ha! You would think that girl would at least be smart enough to "Test" her friend when the stakes are lower, and not the night before she asked him to help her move. IDK what she was expecting from him. I guess maybe he should have pushed her to the floor and yelled "Ewwwww, get outta here! You're gross," then throw popcorn at her? Asking her respectfully if he can kiss her after she sends him signals so strong that they put commissioner Gordon to shame. . . The nerve! This guy needs to learn how to treat a lady.

The last story. The neighbors need to move or the couple with the baby need to get restraining order or something against them. The mum was wrong to tell her daughter to apologise. She’s in her own home and can do as she likes with her child

Story 1: How did Jilian not realize that she outed herself as a trespasser and a thief?

One thing that really rubbed me the wrong way, how is asking about a kiss the same as a hook up, yes it can lead to it but it could simply be an admission of romantic feelings, which is not I repeat not the same as 'just wanting to get into someone's pants'. OP did not as to cop a feel, or to go to his bedroom or anything of the sort. Yes a kiss is intimate but it's not dry humping.

Rslash: “if you think it’s not your fault, I guess you’re just nuts!” Me: Like… peanuts?

As someone who's allergic to peanuts, I always take measure to verify what is inside the food I eat in case I'd do an anaphylactic shock. Which means that I certainly make sure to NOT touch food that isn't mine or that I don't know what is inside. The only case OP would be the butthole would be if he was the one offering said food to her knowing there was peanut in and knowing her allergies, since people tend to trust close ones offering food to not fuck up- (and also the straight up lying on the content of the food, but y'know). EDIT : I corrected the comment since I thought *Jilian* was the one who blewed up to OP, not Trish. So : OP : 0/5 Jilian : 0/5 (if she said nothing) Trish : 3/5 Butthole

I can't imagine doing what that girl did in that third story. As a romantic, if I'm going to hint to guy that I want him to make a move or if I'm going to make a move myself, it's not going to be as a test but only if I actually want a romantic relationship with that guy. What she did was cruel and childish and OP handled it the right way. If he was only trying to get into her pants, he would've forcibly kissed her or immediately try to dominate her. But no. He ASKED if he could kiss her. That's just so sweet and thoughtful. Who wouldn't want to be with a guy who shows respect like that? Also with that, you should be showing respect right back and testing him is not respectful at all.

Platonic friend story: She doesn't deserve OP'S friendship! Her and her friend are !@$%$

There is an update to the first peanut allergy story: Jilian called OP an apologized for her friends behaviour, turns out it was Trish who took the stew and fed it to her Also OP is getting a lock for their mini fridge

Just the other day, there was a story about a grandma stealing her grandchild and trying to get their DNA tested. The overwhelming response was "why didn't they call the cops? Of course she's never seeing that kid again." So, that's a resounding NTA on cutting them off for DNA testing without your consent.

So Jess had move out of her apartment quickly because "her situation with her roommates has become highly unstable due to irreconcilable differences, so she was in a rush to leave." Gee, I wonder how that happened? Maybe she pulled the same high-school level tricks on them, too?

He didn’t even try anything sexual. He ->asked

I think OP‘s mom needs an a-hole score for not having OP‘s back. If I were OP I would’ve threatened to call the police.

I have a great example of that 4th story. I work in a frameshop. I once had a lady working here who had a miscarriage. We frame baby photos, announcements, and cross stitch birth dates all the time. She didn't get mad at fucking customers for bringing in things regarding their children, which is basically how the OP's neighbor is going about it. Instead, she asked management and the rest of her team to try and handle these art pieces while she was going through therapy! The rest of the world doesn't stop because you're having a very bad time, even if its a helpless situation! And the story had a good ending, my coworker was able to become pregnant again and have her little girl.

Those neighbors in the last story are genuinely insane. Telling people what to do in their own home? Calling your private property public? And the mom agreeing!? How does infertility excuse bad behavior?

I can’t tell if Rslash calling the thief’s “nuts” was a joke or unintentional

First story, NTA. Imagine stealing someone's food. In their personal fridge. In THEIR personal room. And being mad at them for it. They shouldn't eat other people's food. They are responsible for their own wellbeing. Stealing food without permission that is not labelled when you know you're allergic to certain food, is like playing Russian Roulette. Your roommates are completely in the wrong here and trying to gaslight you on this.

Story 3... he asked for a kiss. A freaking kiss. The freak does that have to do with getting in or out of anyone's freaking pants?

The girl who said he was getting into her pants. She said want to do something and when he asked. She said I don’t know something. She was implying that and because he said yes she was like well actually no. That was very manipulative. And I would have been irritated

Hmmm...kare-kare. I love that dish! According to an edit to the story, it's Trish and another roommate stole the dish and rice. Jillian only the rice but it had some sauce on it. Jillian later apologized for what happened.

That last story is worrisome. This neighbor is DELIBERATELY looking into their house. How are you gonna tell me that they can only see in from the 2nd floor & she's always up there on the balcony? She's making herself upset, probably taking it out on her husband, & then he comes to yell at OP. Yes, infertility must be frustrating & stressful, but she should know better than to behave the way she is.

2:02 "... and if you don't think it's your fault, then that's just nuts!" That shouldn't have made me laugh... ETA: Two "nuts" in one story!? RSlash, you mad lad!

Last story: that story is infuriating. I’ve dealt with infertility for many years. It SUCKS. When I was at my worst point of it I was in a deep abyss of depression and it felt like the universe was putting pregnant women and new moms in front of me constantly just to rub it in my face that no matter how I tried I wasn’t, and couldn’t be, one of them. I was bitter, angry, and just indescribably depressed. But I also knew that this was all a me problem and not a problem for them. The only consideration I asked for was that family and close friends not blindside me with their surprise pregnancy announcements. That way I could cry and be upset and feel how felt in private, then be genuinely happy for them with the rest of the family a few days later when they officially announced it. Most people understood this. But I definitely didn’t expect people just not to have babies within my sight or hide their pregnancies from me. If I was having a sensitive day where I couldn’t cope, I just stayed inside, away from my front windows (lots of people walk by my house with strollers), avoided tv (*so* many diaper, formula, baby-product commercials as well as birth-control, etc ads) and made myself a kind of mental fort for a day or two until I felt like I could put on a brave face and cope. Because I’m aware that the world doesn’t revolve around me and my medical issues or mental health struggles.

Story 1: NTA Just thinking about it makes me mad. Ofc you're NTA, THEY ARE. You steal food out of MY fridge but it's MY fault that Jill almost died

“Then she asked for Jess’s address, which I declined to give her” Mad respect for OP’s sister, because OP did absolutely nothing wrong and wanted to rain down hell on Jess on behalf of her brother.

I think that Kim deserves a BH score as well

Tell Paul to tell his wife if she doesn’t stop invading your privacy you’re going to call the cops on them for being peeping toms.

First Story: I remember hearing, in Canada, you can go to jail if a violent burglar or murderer is injured or killed in your house, even if their death or injury is due to self-defense. Prankster: Usually guys tend to be wrong when they use the "she was leading me on" (usually as an excuse for something piggish they do to the girls/women), but in this case, the girl was definitely leading him on. He didn't initiate that confrontation. She cozied up to him acting like she was into him, and I could imagine it's not impossible to fall for a friend that close and that into you. Lot of couples and married folk are each others best friends. What I'm trying to say, there was no need for deception. If she truly was a close friend, she could've come out and just ask him without pretending to role play interest to get it out of him. Last Story: It's none of the neighbors damn business what the OP does in HER house with HER children. Definitely NOT the butthole. And yeah, why the hell do they keep LOOKING at and INTO the OP's house?

Liar liar it was 5 grand and Jim Carrey responds " I would have got him ten"

Rslash! You're making me feel old man, saying Liar Liar is an old movie. Lol

rSlash is right... I was completely platonic friends with a girl for nearly a decade before anything happened between us. We then dated for like a year, broke up, didn't speak for a while, then went back to being platonic friends again. It can happen.

R/slash, it was his secretary but yes also his friend. And Jim Carrey's character said he would have gotten him 10K, but (shrugs) details.

First story : NTA. OP need to find new housemates and possibly not dumb ones. They just revealed to OP that's they're thieves and shouldn't be trusted. Second story : NTA. What they did was disrespectful for OP's wife. Also it's his child he can do that if he want to and i wouldn't blame him for it since how shitty they are. Third story : NTA. First of... WHO DOES THAT ? Like seriously... what she did was basically tempting OP and he took his chance, just like anyone would in that kind of situation ! Heck he even asked her if he could kiss her, not something everyone would do. OP would be better cutting her off entirely, that's not how a friend should act. Fourth story : NTA. It's their problem, not OP's problem and she is right, if they're so upset about it they need therapy and also to stop looking at OP's home. What they're doing is an invasion of privacy and OP could sue them for it.

Where was Kim's rating for getting Jess to do that?

Oh boy... I think all these stories deserve a response First story: I read about the update and learned that Jillian did not actually take directly from OP. In fact, she didn't even go into their room. What happened was a cross-contamination between the kare-kare and some rice (both of which were OP's). So this isn't really her fault. The other roommates are, as rSlash put it, nuts! I mean, they admitted they were trying to steal beer from OP and ended up stealing beer AND food. They are at fault for everything. Second story: This one just feels a bit off - for two reasons. 1: I'm not exactly sure how DNA tests work, but how would OP's parents go behind his and his wife's back and manage to get a DNA test? And 2: who on earth makes comments like "I am so glad to confirm you are indeed my grandson" especially when at the home of the people whose backs you went behind? I'll need a bit more confirmation here. But, if everything does check out, yeah those parents don't deserve to be in the kid's life. In fact, I would have suggested preventing them from seeing the kid long before this happened, with their nice comments about the wife. Third story: Maybe Kim did have suspicions. Maybe Jess was concerned and wanted to follow through with the test. There are MUCH better ways to test if someone is a creep than what she did. I know rSlash gave the curly fry example and while it is a good example, my first thought was more like "there are better ways to determine if someone is a thief than offering them stuff and taking it back when they accept", which is basically what Jess did. She's the one who initiated it! OP just went along with it. Fourth story: Those people are insane; but you do see people like this all the time. I'm sure we all have seen people with the mentality of, "I am incapable of doing that thing so therefore, no one is allowed to". Give me a break. I have a buddy who has a condition that prevents him from driving, but do you think he yells at people who have driver's license? Exactly, no he doesn't.

the curly fry analogy was great, that made me smile lol.

Story 1: They won't go to the cops because they would have to admit to the fact that they violated their room mate's privacy and that they were opening his fridge to look for beer, and even if an agreement was to label everything, if something wasn't labeled, then Jilian shouldn't have ate from it, and they shouldn't have taken it. So don't pay.. they can't sue because fault is on them. They can't call the police, because they would be trespassed.

i would put a lock on the room as the OP's room mates clearly cant be trused not to tresspass

You should have read the update to the first story. Jillian didn't blame OP for anything. She go in the room, her friend (Trish) did. So it was her friend who poisoned her.

Story 1: Jilian and the roommates are in the wrong here. It's like breaking into your neighbours house and being surprised that the guard dog attacked you. Story 2: Parents showed no trust not acceptance for their son or his wife. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Story 3: I think the saddest part is it wasn't even, him leaning into kiss her, or him groping her. He did the most gentlemanly thing ever, he asked politely if he could kiss her. He didn't assume, he ASKED. The fact she jumped to conclusions tells me she was fishing for a reason to hate him. Or too eager to listen to her buddy with her 'he must be a creep.' I find it so stupid that after pulling that on him, she expected him to help her. Story 5: This one really ticked me off so using paragraphs. This is where the trigger warning debate comes into play. The world can not cater to every single trigger warning out there, some are too obscure, but just as strong as the more common ones. There are warnings you can avoid, (For instance, reading the label of food before eating it, if you're allergic to something. Or looking at the rating of a movie before watching.) Others are a lot harder to avoid, but you know what grown adults do with functioning brain cells? They control their intake of content, say like, if dogs scare you, move into a pet free apartment, when you go out, keep your distance from dog walkers by crossing the street. Maybe if looking at a pregnant woman causes you to fly into a furious rage, so strong you can't even tell your neighbour why you're upset, you should have checked out the neighbourhood before moving in, or installed blinds, or talked calmly with the neighbour about how it's upsetting and you'd appreciate a level of courtesy. Not banning them from the yard or anything, just, don't flaunt you have a kid. Though that isn't OP's responsibility to listen. I just, yes it's upsetting to be infertile, but to get irrationally angry at someone else? It's the individuals responsibility to monitor their intake. You can't watch an R rated movie and get mad it had naughty words, it had a warning. You can't move next door to a pregnant lady and get mad she has a kid.

Jillian: *is allergic to peanuts* Also Jillian: *steal OP's food in his personal minifridge and almost died* Trish: YOU ALMOST KILLED HER, PAY FOR THE EPIPEN! Trish, i think you need to go to the mental hospital. Jillian stole OP's food. It's his personal space, you can't just enter OP's room without telling OP, and Jillian literally stole it. OP, NTA.

I can't believe OP would be such a creep as to ask someone who is acting like they want a relationship for a relationship!

About the baby story: NTA It’s true that when you are having psychological problems seeing things that relate to that is awful. I have depression, and when I was on my worst crisis just seeing people being happy or getting achievements hurt so much because I spent 3 years locked in my room. But did I demand that everyone stopped living? No. Because that was my problem. If she doesn’t want to see babies or pregnancies than she needs to move to an apartment or a secluded house. The neighborhood isn’t hers, and she can’t mess with people’s life’s. Also, the baby will grow. There is 18 years of children things to come in that household.

(Story 1) I'm deadly allergic to peanuts and the going to a known peanut eater's room and eating their food (and then giving it to someone else) is such a bad idea, I never had to stay in a place where I had to ask someone to label their stuff (especially in their own room where I should never be in without their permission) but if you have that then you should still ask about it whenever taking something or just don't take it because the consequences of it being peanuts aren't worth it.

The roomate that had the reaction in an update said she didnt want op to pay for an epipen she thought some of the sause got on her rice and thats what happened

Roommates: "Apologize and pay for the EpiPen even though we stole from you!!" OP: *"NO."* Roommates: *Surprised Pikachu Face*

I hope Jess watches this kind of stuff so she can hear about how she hurt OP and her behavior was foolish and not very acceptable.

So let me get this straight. Op's housemates just stresspass into his Room looking for a beer inside of his personal mini fridge, saw the Kare-kare and decided to eat it? And when your friend got the allergic reaction from it, they automatically decide that its your fault?

The one where the girl thought OP only wanted into her pants- He could have just went in for a kiss if he really just wanted to sleep with her. Instead, he asked because he didn’t want to ruin their friendship if he tried to kiss her and she didn’t reciprocatez

That last story reminds me of a bit from Steven Universe, where Peridot tells Garnet to go away because her presence "makes [her] incredibly uncomfortable." Garnet then leashed Peridot to a fence because "her having free reign of the place made ME incredibly uncomfortable."

She really said : Ooo whats thiss …….. let’s eat it (Almost dies ) UMMM EXCUSE ME YOU ALMOST MADE ME DIE TF PAY ME FOR ALMOST DYING

Third story : Almost any guy, in that situation, would think the same. Even if they weren't trying to "get in their pants" from the get go. It's horrible of her to play with you like that as a "test". And the guy can't play the plausible deniably card for too long either because then if she really was interested, she will think he's spineless. There's literally no winning for men in situations like that. NTA.

God I hate when people say that "You can't understand because you can't/aren't ____" because that person just discards everything the other person says even though sometimes people don't have to directly experience what you do to understand, or even just to help. OP was right in the last one, her neighbor needs some therapy and her problem really is more than just the fact that she's infertile if she constantly harasses other people unreasonable.

The first group can't be nuts though. If they are than the peanut allergy girl can't be near her friends anymore

With the prankster story, a lot of the best relationships I've seen started as sincere friendships. They built a good foundation and when it evolved from friends to partners, it was strong.

Hey. I’ve had a pretty bad day so far, seeing your notif just cheered me up. Thanks rSlash

There's an update to the first story! Turns out the person with the nut allergy didn't know about the roommates going into the other person's room and went into shock due to cross contamination.( The peanut sauce accidentally got into something else. Lastly the person with the allergy didn't demand the EpiPen replacement it was the friends idea alone.

Convincing someone that you're interested just to see if they'll react is immature and disrespectful, and it's not that person's fault for showing interest in response.

The testing on the guy was just horrible. That was the lowest type of behavior I have heard of.

Playing with someones feelings like that girl did is just not cool, the guy will have trust issues for years.

That last story I hope they start calling the cops on the neighbors when this continues to happen. Don't care if it's hard not being able to get pregnant, that doesn't give you the right to go harass anyone.

That last story - "If you don't want to be offended by seeing me in my own home or my own garden, stop spying on me." It reminds me of something I read ages ago. Around the early 1900s, a woman who lived at the seaside, on the sea front, complained because some men had taken a rowing boat out to a presumed safe distance and were swimming naked from it. The men, once told, were immediately apologetic, and took the boat out a lot further. A while later the woman was asked if things were ok now, and she said that she could still see the naked men ... with the aid of a small telescope. Some people will contrive to be offended by anything.

“How dare you not label the food that I shouldn’t touch anyway because I didn’t pay for it!!”

You are literally the only thing keeping me going during 5 am shifts. I start reloading your page at 6:45 and dont stop till I watch.

3rd story: op if you have anyone threatening and harassing you, make sure you record everything

The third story is exactly why it seems like we "Never get" your hints ladies! We're afraid of this exact situation! You want to get with me, tell me!

AITA: one of the only examinations where a 0 is the desired "perfect score"! 😂

first story: I would've started labelling EVERY food item I have with "peanuts"

damn when people arent taught actions have consequences

You were right, she was trying to trap YOU or set you up! Mean spirited! Break AWAY, you dodged a bullet!

That last one, I’d have just told them to stop looking into my house.

Bro. That first one. You go into my room and take my food and almost died and you want to be at me mad?? HELL NO!!

First Story I Think Its Stupid To Expect OP To Pay For The EpiPen. You Snoop In Someone Elses Stuff, Thats On YOU What Happens To You.

Story 3 - Full agree. The friends honestly an asshole through and through. She played a cheap mindgame at the behest of another friend, which makes her little more than an idiotic muppet with someone else's hand controlling her actions. However, the fact that she took OP's attraction as a sign that he wasn't "really" a friend is basically a sign that she has a very black and white view of friendships and...probably men too. Like, it's possible to be attracted to someone and not act on those feelings. Life isn't a romcom. I think OP's better off without that "friend" because this sounds like it was just one of many red flags about her as a person.

The last story: OP needs to set up very obvious cameras aimed at her neighbours windows, when they come round to complain she can say she set them up because she's "uncomfortable about the way his wife is spying on her and her baby" and "wants evidence to show the police, because I fear she might be a child molester with the way she keeps spying on us" that would put some fear in them.

Jess: "do you wanna do something?" Op: "can i kiss you?" Jess: *suprised pikachu face*

Woah I’ve never been this early to a vid!

That title is just like, why do people likes this exist.

1st story: NTA. Keep a lock on your door from now on and have it to where you need a key to unlock it. Also get new friends. 2nd story: NTA. You were defending your wife. My bestie is currently going through this type of situation. In this case, it's her father and step mother Diane. Diane falsely called DCF on my friend over 20 times because she wants custody of the kids. My friend had no choice but to cut that side of the family off. 3rd story: NTA. Omg wtf is Jess's problem???! What she did was really horrible. I feel so horrible for OP. From his post, it seemed like he really was interested in her and that 'prank' was just really wrong. 4th story: NTA. While I can't say the wife isn't in the wrong, because she is, at the same time, I understand why she acted the way she did to OP. Most people these days are unable to have kids.

Sadly, the thing about a thief suing the home owner for an injury they got while trying to break in is not as uncommon as you think

The last story had me so upset. My wife and I had been trying to have a child for 8 years we went to fertility clinics everything we could do that we could afford. When ever I saw ppl with children or being pregnant there was a slight pang of pain in my heart for my wife and I. But was always over shot with the excitement for them as I belive children are the best thing for a couple. (Assumeing they want children). The only thing that ever made me truly sad was people I knew who knew my wife and I had issues getting pregnant would just casually tell me about how they got pregnant again and where going for another abortion. Like what ever I know it happens but you know my wife and I are haveing issues maybe don't tell me? O well I'm glad to say I now have a healthy beautiful 15 month old little girl. We where finnaly able to get pregnant after we stoped trying (lower stress levels) and we lost some weight from what I understand that also helps alot. All in all no shes not the ass that nabour thow can go jump in a lake and f off!

The real villain of the third story is Kim. I understand friends not wanting their friends to be heartbroken, but it sounds a lot like she had already started to convince Jess that OP was just a creep even before the test without, you know, giving him a fair chance. The "chance" she did give him was a test that was rigged against him

Also, kare-kare is amazing. 3 buttholes alone for stealing that in the first place.

I have struggled with fertility problems for a decade now. While it does mess with me a lot on a psychological level I don't let it get in the way of the joy of others. A close friend of mine just announced she was pregnant. Honestly it broke my heart thinking about how they've been trying for a month and got pregnant, but did I let it show? No! I told them that I thought it was awesome and I was so happy for them. It's not their fault I can't get pregnant!

Story 1 OP is not the ahole. Roommates get 3.5/5 Story 2 OP not the ahole. Parents get 2.5/5 Story 3 OP isn't the ahole. Jess gets 3/5 along with Kim. Story 4 OP isn't the ahole. Neighbors get 3/5.

Idk if someone goes into my room to look for something and just decides to take food/makeup/clothing anything. it's their fault. Unless you're my very close family, what right do you have to go into MY personal space and take what you want.

I’m someone with numerous severe food allergies and I know NOT to eat other people’s food! If it’s not labeled, I won’t eat it. If it’s in your personal mini fridge, I won’t eat it. How hard is it! Jilian needs to be A LOT more responsible!

In story 3 I’d give Kim 3/5 for essentially being the instigator of immaturity