r/Bestof Mom Thinks My Brother Wants to Bang Me 

She is just a b word, period.

When I first read title, Sweet home, Alabama with playing in my head I’m not gonna lie

@@sytherwusky oh that's the second story

Oh yeah, younger sister is clearly jealous of OP. What's weird is that the mom is condoning such disrespectful behavior. Um would mom be okay if she took in a younger female relative and they were behaving that way in her home with her husband?

She's a spoiled little brat of a sister he needs to be kicked out on her butt so she needs to know how the real world works.

I wonder if the parents felt they 'had to' becuase they wanted to be seen as 'good people'. Then resented having to raise him.

I hope so too. I went NC with my abusive (biological) parents and in the process 'lost' my siblings who generally took or were forced to take my parents' side (some were still young dependents). In the meantime, my siblings have had new experiences with our parents, no unbuffered by me, and while some continue to be flying monkeys, some have come around. I am now rebuilding relationships with the latter, and continue to be NC with the former. OP has a chance to rebuild a relationship with John, but my thinking is for John to want to keep trying OP is going to have to take a serious, honest look at her parents' behaviour and stop trying to wash it away with gaslighting and platitudes.

I would never put the word parents in quotation marks, especially not for adopting parents cause they are his parents adopted or not, but this was definitely a "Parents" in quotation marks situation. the mom is definitely worse, but the dad should have done better

The thing that pisses me off the most, taking away that John is innocent: if she had speculations, she did nothing. That’s the worst part.

I think that ship has sailed

That guy is based, he’s the type of guy to not cheat on a 2 with a 💯

@@suspumpkin5229 no matter how attractive someone is. If you are loyal you won't cheat, simple as that, and that man seems to be a good man!

@@gecko2.617 drugs

As far as we know anyway

I'm surprised rSlash didn't somehow spin it against the husband

I was hoping that the lack of love towards John was them seeing their dead friends in him & not just neglecting him because of who he was

and i'm pretty sure this isnt that uncommon of a thing, people adopt thinking they cant have kids, still end up doing the deed (probably without protection) or continue trying, actually have a kid and then just pretty much dump on the other one.

Also it could be because it made them look good. Them being the generous couple who took in the orphan Scummy people

@@breana2734 Even giving them the most charitable concept I can, that they adopted intending to love him as their own, but when he was there it 'felt different' but they'd already committed. GO TO THERAPY, call in some experts and work on making it work instead of treating the innocent child like lesser than or like a predator. Even with the most charitable reading I can possibly give them, they're STILL scum for how they handled it.

John's bio-parents must be looking down at their friends from heaven, shaking their heads in disappointment for how they mistreated their son. Who does that to a child who lost their parents!?! It's like they were just doing their dead friends a favor and nothing else.

Exactly. She was projecting her predatory desires onto poor John

What does that say abut their parenting? That they think a kid they raised from basically newborn will grow to be a creep just because he isn't blood?! They're weird!

Not to mention what kind of image does she have a sexually mature men that they're going to go after little girls. Sure child Predators generally tend to be straight men but I'd say that's the minority not the majority. They're just stupid and it's just an excuse to being ignorant toxic

"I swear, officer. I thought he was 18."

So trueeeee like ew

It's more than favouritism It's downright abuse

@@TheBluePhoenix008 Emotional abuse at that. I wouldn't be able to hold myself back from lashing out at them as to how emotionally abusive they were. John is the bigger man for not yelling at them.

It's obvious he's just a trophy. Once she no longer wants to be a saint, she made up an excuse to kick him out and villainize him for being an orphan.

There was speculation that the mom may have been a victim of sexual abuse in her youth so sought to protect her daughters in the worst way possible. I don't think that explains why she pushed him away though. That leads me to the other speculation which was that either mom had feelings for or was having an affair with John's bio dad and when he started to look more like his dad, her motherly feelings started switching to feelings of (and I hate that I have to say this) lust for her son. So she couldn't be affectionate with him because she was attracted to him and branded him a "predator" to justify and rationalize her behavior

Seriously. Had to literally take a zanex after hearing that part.

Or did they think they were s smooth nobody noticed their mistreatment of John?

Apparently they WERE smooth enough bc no one actually noticed there was a problem until YEARS later when John put it all together and spelled it out for everyone

Wait until you realise the inc*St

@@justaperson4656 what are you talking about

@@justaperson4656 what are you talking about?

@@james14294 the mother having sexual thoughts about John, assuming John will be a predator to her other kids, etc. Even if they aren't biologically related, that is still her son and has a lot of inc*st undertones

@@justaperson4656 what are you talking about?

The fact that she got weird the moment he started puberty shows that reality was that she had predatory desires for poor John. 🤮

I don't get people like this...it's like feeding their ego by getting someone who is in a happy, committed relationship is much more important than any other relationship in their lives.

@@janew5550 Not sure about why men do this kind of thing but from what I've both heard and read, a good number of women are more attracted to men who are in relationships because they're seen as more desirable than men who are single. It's a scummy thing to do regardless of gender and the people that do it deserve what's coming to them.

@@erasablefallen7223 That makes sense, but at the same time is like... EW???? wtf D:

@@aderpyaxolotl yeah it sucks ;-;

@@erasablefallen7223 fr. That's awful...

Exactly !!! They CHOSE to keep him but they didn't have to. I'm so frustrated and my heart hurts for the siblings.

I can’t imagine my own mother doing something like that. My best friend is in his 20s and my mother still gives him hugs and kisses like he’s her own son, and she didn’t even raise the man.

@@samaritan_sys 34 here, same. OP's mom is a low key degenerate with thoughts like that

I wish you had been my mom lol.

@@aderpyaxolotl I'm sorry you didn't have that support system, don't you forget though- you deserve amazing things and so much more.

I had the opposite problem. I wish my parents had kept a close eye on my older brother who molested me for 10 years.

That's a really good point, I hadn't thought of it like that.

@@Hinatachan360 your parents definitely should have kept a better eye on him. But to treat a teen boy like a sex criminal for no reason, without any evidence, just because they're not related is cruel.

im usually not one for petty revenge (that's a lie, I totally am-) but YESSSS

Yeah

I could not agree more. I am not one for Revenge but what those parents did is Unforgivable.

And do you think that will make Jonh feel happy? sure the support of his adoptive siblings will be great, but they will cut contact with the parents who raise them as fine as they could, he would feel even worse for how the family turned on, that's why he doesn't tell them anything at the beginning, he was sad about it and resentful to the members of the family, he would have been jealous of the adoptive siblings in some way if not he would have tried to apparent everything going ok and call them regularly.

Yeah... that was VERY strange

Seemed like a HornPub plot

@Crickets That's might be a possibility. Then she shouldn't have adopted a boy, they usually grow up to be men.

Makes me think she was projecting her own feelings onto him to make herself look better

I think you hit it on the head. Wife might have had a crush on bio dad but never acted on it. Settled for her husband and started a life with him but when bio dad and bio mom died the boy probably looked more like his mother at that young age. But once puberty hit. She was slapped in the face she still had feelings for the bio dad. So in her twisted mind she pushed her feelings onto her daughters thinking they'll fall in love with him or he'll try something with the girls when it wasn't true. They were just siblings while mom had a twisted fantasy story going in her head.

this is really gross but is totally feasible.

That is an excellent observation. I think you are absolutely right.

THIS!! My younger siblings witnessed me being abused throughout their entire lives. They never understood there was anything wrong with it, they just thought it was weird. I don't blame them at ALL because to them it was normalized. It does kind of suck though because I was always super on top of my sisters and trying to make sure they didn't get in trouble so my mom and her bfs didn't go after them, so the middle sister is now constantly like that with the youngest even though they're in a safe environment.

Or, she might say he's reading too much into it. "What's a girl supposed to wear out of the shower? So she said OP might not lose the baby weight --- but that could be true, right?" I would have told the guy to take pictures of the sister and send them to the parents. The sister probably would have posed, thinking she was seducing the guy.

@@nancyjay790 Exactly. Mom is definitely going to defend *anything* the sister does. Even without a sexual component...running around the sister's house half dressed when she's been told it's unacceptable is a deal breaker. If you're living in someone else's home especially if you're paying little or nothing, don't buck their rules!

Just NOPE! He’ll become the bad guy that was perving on her sister. If Mum won’t taker her word, he has zero hope of what he’s saying not getting twisted.

Maybe. We'd like to think so, but we don't know enough about the Mom and her relationship with the little sister to know for sure.

@@SpruceOaks At a minimum I'd expect mom to tell the sister not to make drama. If you're doing something unnecessary that bothers your HOST, stop doing it. It's not complicated. The fact that mom instead tried to make OP the bad guy for saying sister's behavior is unacceptable is a sign that sister is the untouchable favorite child.

I'd say she's an entitled idiot who apparently assumed she could just gaslight her sister into allowing her disrespectful behavior.

People are ready to go really far when the crotch itches

@@pauliussipavicius4658 She'd be better off downloading Tinder

His name is Dabney 😁

Bro broke the sound barrier 💀

I was the same way too. I was like "YO WTF?" but in a higher octave than him lol

second story reaction is accurate af

They want their cake and to eat it too. They wanted not have to be a parent not have to be emotionally available for the child that they went to get all the benefits and all the rewards of being parents. Lot of parents like that out there that one all the benefits being parents but don't want any of the responsibility or the hard work. We call them Deadbeats

The fact that the mom couldn't hug him herself once he hit puberty makes me think she was attracted to him and that is what made her think of him as possibly being a $3xual being himself. 🤮

Thank you so much for this

I love you.

First

Gigachad

👏👏👏👏👏

Or C she started having predatory desires for John because she is a pedo....because even if John looked like someone she had an affair with (he would have always looked that way, or it would have been once he FINISHED puberty that he looked like his father).... the fact that she started viewing him as a $3xual being at 12 is telling...... if it had been once he finished puberty and was filled out....then i would vote B..... but the timing says she starting looking at him that way at such a young age because she is a nonce.

Excluding John from the hunting trip was undoubtedly a result of the parents thinking John was somehow a danger. Mom becomes sexually attracted to a 12-year-old (which is nowhere near sexually mature) and suddenly he's the problem? I wonder if she would exhibited this same behavior had she become attracted to one of her biological sons?

As someone with a little sister who's adopted, these stories enrage me every time.

I thought I was the only one 😅growing my dad had a thing about mine and my siblings posture so whenever I hear someone get scolded for their posture I straighten my posture

I hear that all the time. Stand up straight or you'll get a hump when you're old lol.

Guilty as charged.

Can't. I'm laying down.

So true. So so true. The others don't see it because they didn't have to experience it (kids so rarely notice what isn't directly affecting them too)...plus being narcissists they most definitely did their best to hide what they were doing.

Exactly. That's exactly what she was doing. She was projecting her own predatory issues onto poor John.

That's horrible, I'm sorry that happened to you

She's probably looking because she doesn't want mom and sis to gang up on her. Sometimes it's just mentally safer to do things like this. Remember she is pregnant. The stress of those bullies would have been too much.

you have siblings that were good as children? not that easy to just let them go.

I was saying that myself. Her sister was INTENT on completely ruining OP's life, yet the OP feels obligation to set up housing for that sl*t? No. Get her out. Live in your car for all I care. You wanted to nuke my family, you get zero consideration from me. I would have had her shit outside in garbage bags and told her she had half an hour to drive back to the apartment and pick them up before you walk in and let randos pick over her crap.

@@MarkarthCityGuard yeah, also like sure she was being an asshole, but not like, kicked out on the street asshole. plus, sometimes you wanna be the bigger person (only somtimes tho lol)

You're probably gonna get a lot of hate for this comment, but I half agree with you. What I would have done instead is have OP and the husband sit down and give her 1-1 1/2 months to find her own place or she has to move back in with her mother, and if she doesn't want to live with her mother? Then good luck. I would have OP explain that what she did was NOT okay and tell her no exceptions. I would also ask the husband to share what made him uncomfortable and why and also have him explain to her that his wife isn't the only one with concerns. I would make sure the husband uses words like "gross," "immature," and for him to talk about how she's embarrassing herself because she's acting so [stupid.] (maybe not the word stupid, but another derogatory word that knocks her to her senses.)

I agree...I think she was projecting her weird desires onto John.

Although I respect your opinion, I do not see how such blatant favoritism could not be seen by any of the "siblings". I do not feel it is "understandable" and I doubt if John can understand such a thing either.

Son of close family friends… hmmm… makes me wonder if he looked like his late father and there were latent feelings.

@@MarkDC101 People that witness abuse, as well as those in the middle of the abuse, dont always realize abuse is going on. Especially in a case like this, where the witnesses (OP and siblings) never experienced any form of the abuse themselves. On top of that anything they did witness were all small isolated events that could be brushed off as John having upset them somehow (which they is what they said, I guarantee you). The only reason it's obvious now is because everything was listed out after OP and siblings got talking.

Agreed....and if it is true that the "mom" suddenly couldn't hug him once he hit puberty, sounds more like she was attracted to him and she was projecting her weird desires onto him.

@@SoManyRandomRamblings and now I don’t know what’s worse lol

How dumb she is.....she needs to find a single person who can "give her that life" because something that clearly isn't dawning on her.....those guys aren't going to have the same finances to take care of her when they are paying alimony 🤦🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️

so you saw that too.

Are you kidding me? She specifically did that so that her sister won't accuse her of feeling jealous that is not hard for she she just didn't want to be called names here!

@@MartialArtswithLucyLu So that means its right to send a victim of sexual harassment to the harasser. Being called names by someone who does wrong doesnt seem as bad as that to me.

Wait, I thought husband said he would do it so that sister could get the message. Otherwise sister would just gaslight and think she could stay anyway? This would also work to stop any future harassment since being shut down this firmly by the object of her lust would serve to both reflect and cause major damage to her ego. I mean it didn't really work since when she left she still thought it was OP who kicked her and used her husband, but I could see the reasoning.

@@C.G.Gaster Well you have to experience it to know how it feels I've experienced name calling so I know ho that feels that is why I don't really see the big deal here especially since it looks they did it together but with OP avoiding the gaslighting and such here!

Sounds like the entire family could use some help.

Wow, I’m really sorry that happened to you. I can’t imagine how you must have felt in that moment and I’m sure that pain stays with you… I hope that didn’t cause you to feel like something was wrong with you… it seems like your mom may have experienced some form of trauma that could have influenced her behavior toward you.

@@amandadee412 that would make sense. Though my family has always been stubborn and refuses to talk to each other. Even me, i'm too scared to talk to them about most things, so we all kinda just drift apart. I was just told that my mother just didn't like to be touched. But when you're growing up and just wanna hug and cuddle your mom, it's hard to understand why she doesn't want to.

@@wouldntyouliketoknowwesath7789 I completely understand what you mean when you say that growing up, kids want to hug their parents and I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been for you. I’m a mother and I have a 9 year old daughter who is very affectionate and always wants to hold my hand or hug me and I know it would break her heart if I didn’t hug her back. I’m so sorry that you experienced that and I really hope that you are living a happy, joyous life. Sending you hugs 🤗

Totally feel you. I'm in the exact same situation. I crave a boyfriend, but honestly I just want to throw up everytime a guy approaches me, because of the mindset my mother pushed on me. It's sad and frustrating. But I guess the only thing we can do is to go to therapy and fix ourselves before we inflict trauma on our future family and children.

@Roxana Toncean That is EXACTLY how I feel! Oh my gawd, the amount of relief to know that there are others out there with the EXACT feelings I have is such a relief. I thought I was alone in that so I am actually crying right now.

@@brabbit736 I am so glad too that I found someone who shares the same experiences! This finally puts a name on the problem and makes me realize so many other things... I am glad I am not alone and it's a really huge relief indeed. Funny, my parents, especially my mother, keep asking if I got a boyfriend yet. Uhh, with the trauma you gave me, not anytime soon 😭 I actually got to meet a good guy that actually was respecting my boundaries, never touched me without consent and was just sweet overall. But my trauma just made me ghost him, so yeah. I feel horrible and the life of a single mother sounds so appealing 🤡

@Roxana Toncean I know how you feel. I feel horrible for ghosting a guy who was a best friend literally since elementary school. I didn't know how to face him or talk to him though when he blindsided me with a Valentine's dinner date and my mom told me how disappointed she was with me for turning him down. I almost threw up in his car though when he asked me out when he was driving me back after the long awkward dinner. That event actually gave me the push for therapy finally.

@@brabbit736 I admire your strenght. I think I would have really throwed up 🙃 Especially if he was a guy I knew for that long 😭 I can only imagine the pain you're going through for losing him... I met this guy on Instagram and talked for 3 weeks before having an actual date and I felt overwhelmed as it was. I don't know what I would have done if he was a best friend. Since ELEMENTARY school on top of that 😭😭😭 Hope you are doing well. Keep your head up and know that your experiences are valid and people like your mother deserve no explanation 🙌🏻

My guess is that they are all angry and still processing. The older sister have more life experience and since she's probably independent from her parents she may have the "luxury" to be more open about it while OP is still kind off naive and in a bit in denial. Once it all hits, more details come out and they get some distance they will understand. Or at least I hope so.

I was singled out as the scapegoat child by my narcissistic parents.....and my brothers don't care either. Some people only see the issues as an inconvenience for them (like OP does) just wanting the drama to dissipate, and not expecting consequences to be dished out to anyone because then it messes up their "perfect view" of what they thought their family was. That is why OP's wording was more about how to fix John rather than how horrible the parents had been. And speaking of how horrible those parents were......for the mom to start viewing John as a $3xual being at the very beginning of puberty (9-12) indicates that most likely she had predatory desires for poor John and she was projecting.....it was especially telling that she said she felt weird hugging him once (her exact words) he became "$3xually mature" ummm....no lady....that is too young, that is the start of the changes, for actual $3xual maturity he has to have FINISHED puberty not be in the middle of puberty, because something isn't considered mature when it is still in the process of changing, the definition of mature indicated it has reached its final form (before old age). She is a nonce and thank goodness she didn't act on it too and add to the abuse he was already being subjected to.

@@SoManyRandomRamblings I was the scapegoat for my abusive mother too. Maybe that’s why I don’t understand OP’s point-of-view? My brother was always uncomfortable with the favoritism towards him and the way I was treated. He tried to stand up for me when we were little. Then when I got away (moved in with my dad when I was 14), my brother suddenly became the scapegoat. All the abuse that had been heaped on me was suddenly heaped on him (my dad tried to get custody of him too, but my mother manipulated him in to staying with her and dad didn’t want to force him). We’re both very much adults now and I’m mad at my mother for how she treated me, but I’m also very angry with how she treated my brother and how she pitted us against each other. And he feels the same. But I was angry about it as a child and teen too. I think that’s why I can’t understand how oblivious these siblings were (especially OP and her twin since they’re the same age as John) and their lack of anger.

Mom revealed that she's a pedo.....she pushed him away when she became attracted to him. She started not being able to trust herself and they blamed him rather than accept she is a nonce.

You'd be surprised cause that mother's fear is real! I've known a set of step kids that actually got married after sneaking behind the parents backs for years.

@@lmaree200886 Interesting. Was there any fall-out as a result?

That's literally just how abusive and often narcissistic parents are. They do things so over the top, have such a backwards line of logic, and put on such a good act to the outside, that even if the abused kid DID speak up, no one would believe him.

@@songohan3321 For a while there was some tension but they got over it once grandkids were born! 🤣

@@AmyoftheFlowerField so true. My parents were narcissistic abusers and everyone thought they were so great.

Agreed. And if it really did start once she felt weird hugging him...I think she was projecting her predatory desires onto poor John.

Just saw it. I agree o.o

how tf did they get stuck like that, must be a major contortionist