The more story 1 went, the more I thought it was addiction. Rummaging in the entire house, calling frantically, insisting OP was "hiding" money sounds like someone in withdrawal getting desperate.
Yea I know someone, the “I’m Out of tobacco” or “I can’t afford to go to the dispensary” every month. Then the “no one wants to help me!” Like it’s all of the world’s responsibility to make sure you get anything.
A lot of guys do NOT "stray" when finding out they're about to have a kid. He's acting like a child and either acting on a time crunch to party as much as he can before going sober for the kid, or just showing his true self. With the update it's hard to tell because drugs are a hell of thing that truly changes you
Story 1: …WHAT THE UNHOLY HELL DID I JUST READ… Husband: cheats, unemployed, steals Op’s money, gets arrested, yells at Op when she doesn’t do whatever he says…? I just…it’s genuinely scary that Op thought she was somehow in the wrong… NTA Op and idk how you thought for even a second you were in the wrong…
That's why abusive relationships work. "It's not so bad" slippery slope into literally getting beat up by his partner and still not leaving. You need to have pre-thought the "If he hits me, I will leave" or you probably won't.
@fehoobar well what do you say to the women who believe, truly and absolutely to their core, that if their partner beats them, then they must truly care and love them.
That Craig guy is actually a hero in all this . He comes across as creepy but he likely did what that comment or did where he reverse image searched to verify that op was into this. And then when he realized what happened he didn’t press the issue he just explained , tried to help , and backed off .
Story 1: OP probably already knows this, but any, and everyone that had defended him even once should never receive any personal information. None of your contact information, no updates, don’t even tell how much you have in your pocket. At least one self-righteous JA is going to give him your information, it’s either going to be because they think he deserve to be in a child’s life despite everything, or he chained for the better so you should try again, or You weren’t easy to live with, but he’s willing to take you back.
Story 1: Wow, no wonder he was going nuts and getting possessive over the money. He was an addict, and when the money was running out, he was going to take the worst "solution." That was one hell of spiral.
The proper term is "Demand". Bridezilla doesn't have boundaries or requests. She has demands and orders. I really hope none of my friends ever turn out that way. What a shitty way to end a friendship.
One's boundary is a limit to what one does or done to oneself. Not a limit to what someone else does in general. If the bride is this entitled at the least she could offer to buy a wig for OP but that is still somewhat of a AH thing to do.
*3rd Story:* I feel bad for Bridezilla's husband. Imagine starting your first year of marriage with having to pay a court settlement (a relatively minor one, but still) because of your spouse's ego.
Story 3: All over someone getting a haircut because of hair deterioration. Like, OP would've looked worse in those photos if she DIDN'T cut her hair I bet, so she might've actually done the bride a favor, but nope, the bride decides to kick OP out but keep the stuff OP paid for, and OP had to justifiably take her to court for it. Whoops
If the bride in that last story hated OP's hair THAT much, she should have offered to buy OP a wig long enough to style to match everyone else. THAT is how you keep your "vision" intact while being empathetic to a friend's health-related hair loss. Bridezilla just flat-out told one of her biggest supporters that the bridal party looking perfect is more important than having her friends by her side on the special day(s). Maybe I'm being over-harsh, but if I were in OP's shoes I'd skip the wedding, return any gifts I'd bought, and go minimum-contact because our priorities and personal values are clearly too different to stay friends.
The wig option would imply that Bridezilla had a functional brain. After hearing how she copy-pasted OP's evidence for the lawsuit, it's a safe guess to say that she doesn't have much mental bandwidth going on.
Last story: I’m not surprised OP won at all. She was kicked out of the bridal party three days before the wedding because she got sick and her hair was falling out, after already paying for all the bridal stuff. Did everything asking for the money before going to court, and had all the evidence to prove that she paid for the dresses and was kicked out at a very inconvenient time. At least in that relationship, didn’t cost her all the money she spent on her friends’s wedding.
Ex friend most likely. But yeah, I was surprised too, I didn't think the court would take that case and not drop it. Unless it's small claims or something? Edit: I just found in the update that yes, it was small claims.
@@hollytheanimalcrossingfaneven if it is, I don't believe for a second she was awarded money for a dress she still had which was bought for a social occasion. Also why woukd anyone brag abd try to patent a format for providing evidence? Sounds like bs to me.
Story 1 : The hardcore addict signs were so unbelievably obvious I think op just buried her head in the sand before her ex actually turned from verbally abusive to physically abusive.. Story 2 : Who wants to bet op partner stepped out on op by ?? Update 1 : yeah most likely op boyfriend took pictures of both of them and put it on that site... Update 2: shocker ... no not really... op needs to thank Craig for informing her ... Story 3 : NTA... op " friend " is not really a friend..bridezilla... op did the right thing taking it to court... now you know op no good deed goes unpunished ... Update: who wants to bet op hair and health is tied to the ex friend and her toxicity once op cut her out op started stressing less and health improved mightily...
2nd story, I was like "Ok, the boyfriend's in the wrong here because people might get the wrong idea about OP, but it's not as bad as I thought." THEN the OP said he was using lewd photos of her in the profiles to help make it all seem real. Until that point I'd just thought it was like cute couple photos. Guess I'm just naive
Story 1 and update: ok that husband is insane and I’m glad op is safe with her baby. There were so many red flags that i couldn’t see straight. Story 2 and update: i never thought that today i would learn about swinger lifestyle (no shame it’s what people like it’s what people like) and I’m glad op is ok and broke up with her boyfriend Story 3 and update: what a bridezila op can’t change her heath concern and op should get paid back because she literally accommodated with her crazy demand. She literally just wants op to suffer basically I’m glad op won and I’m happy she’s op
I think swingers are fine. It's like polygamy - not for me, but as long as people talk about their intentions and get consent, who am I to stop everyone from having a good time.
2nd story, I was like "Ok, the boyfriend's in the wrong here because people might get the wrong idea about OP, but it's not as bad as I thought." THEN the OP said he was using lewd photos of her in the profiles to help make it all seem real. Until that point I'd just thought it was like cute couple photos. Guess I'm just naive
I've been a pastor for 30 years. For the most part, I HATE presiding at weddings. There are WAY too many bridezillas. Give me a funeral any day...they are usually very predictable (KISS: tragic or sad).
Story 2: he posted vulgar pictures of his GF without her knowledge or consent to strangers on the Internet, which resulted in someone finding her social media. It also doesn’t help that he’s been lying about your ages on the platform so he can lower more people in. Because 18 and 19 are in fact legal, it still considered sus and that’s why most people avoid that age group anyway. I will say there’s a chance nothing is going to happen since he deleted the evidence, unless you can get the guy who message you on Facebook to explain where he found you. But he seems adamant on not keeping in contact with you, which I do get, even though he was lied about your age and consent.
i don't understand why he even kept her out of it to begin with. because like, if he just told her about his kink all that would happen is she either shared the kink, would support him in his kink, or would say no. if it was the first two, he's got a keeper and can enjoy his kink without doing illegal stuff and if its the latter then he can just break up with her and find someone else. they are 18/19 years old, they have so much time to find someone compatible, and yet here he is fucking up his life because he wants to keep things convenient. and now she's broken up with him anyway, so all he did was delay the inevitable. there are so many people in this world, he could find someone who'd be into the same things as him if he just looked! and its easier now-a-days because of the internet! if he's unlucky he could face legal consequences for that act and he's so young.
“You should be lucky he’s just partying and not worse!” says the friends doing DRUGS with him. That’s the worse, actually. Holy shit. Also noted to self: check winter clothes for money. I’ve found money in old holiday/birthday cards, so I wouldn’t doubt there’s some in my winter coats.
Why do people accommodate to Bridezillas to this extent? Several dresses, specific expensive shoes, having your hair style dictated to, oh sorry, the bride here said they were requests even though they are orders. Brides can have their visions of a pefect day, and for all I care, enjoy the day of their dream wedding all by their glorious self.
I'd say a lot of the blame goes to the wedding industry and the continuous emphasis on weddings being your 'sPeCiAl dAy'. Weddings should be about the fact that friends and family are coming together to celebrate two people's love for each other. All the extravagance cheapens that.
how someone approaches a wedding says a whole lot about how they feel about their relationship. i've found that those who are really in love are pretty causal about the wedding. yes, they want the day to go nice, but for them its more about celebrating their love and that they are getting married then anything else. those who want an elaborate wedding with the perfect pictures, those are the ones who usually are getting married because they want to look in love, not because they really are.
For the first story, I don't think it was murder/suicide. I'm pretty sure "getting rid of us both" referred to her and the baby. Either way, I'm glad karma stepped in and she got away safe and sound with the baby.
3rd story: the masses learning therapyspeak has been so damaging.... other peoples hair cannot be a part of your boundaries, under any circumstances. People very much want to use discussion of boundaries (normal and healthy) as an excuse to have the "right words" with which to control everyone around them, and then if called out on this, suddenly the caller in the the villain. Its bullshit
story 1, what a toxic husband and toxic set of friends. "Pay the bill later" means racking up interest and having to pay more, just because this man-child needs a soother. He's not working, how stressed could he possibly be, except for not having money...and then he goes and blows what little money is available. It's a downward spiral for sure.
Story one: Aside from the obvious emotional abuse, manipulation and gaslighting, if it's not HER money but THEIR money, then THEY must be in accordance about how to spend it.
Story 1: I think "Getting rid of them both" was talking about OP and the unborn kid. But regardless he was planning a murder, and should have gotten a lot more time. Story 2: Pretty sure what Ryan did was a crime, like revenge porn or something. Story 3: Seriously, she is caring more about photos, rather then accepting things can't be perfect. PLUS keeping her money/items, she deserved to be taken to court.
As the last story was being read, all I can hear in my head was the intro to Bridezillas. Here’s our bride soon to wed But something clicked inside her head ! Watch out! She’s breathing fire! Bridezillas! Nothing could satisfy her! Can’t talk to her can’t kill her! Here comes bridezilla!
Story 1: husband secretly took money, but is mad when wife ‘secretly’ has money and doesn’t like that it was a ‘secret’. I’m pretty sure if you looked up the word hypocrisy, or hypocritical, or hypocrite, you’ll find this guy’s picture.
Story 1 is such a disturbing one with 1 person exhibiting a cluster of negative stererotypes all in one... people like that are dangerous. Glad she got out. Story 2, sadly, is not surprising behavior... the ease of access to things with the internet and lack of proper communication in relationships leads to so many "hidden" activities, it's scary to be in newer relationships. Story 3 is another sad visage of "your my *friend* so long as you always do what I say" kind of mentality. Glad she won the claims case against her friend... sorry she had to find out through a longer, more painful, process of discovery.
Why on earth would you carry on with what OP admitted was an unwanted pregnancy when you find out that your husband is having an affair? I’m desperately trying not to victim blame, but she KNEW he was an a-hole when he cheated, before the rest of the wheels came off the relationship later. Thank god Reddit gave her a wake up call and she finally left him.
Seems like in this case she wanted the baby, but it’s also important to remember that anti-abortion laws are a thing. You can’t assume that people always have access to abortions.
Many states across America have passed anti-abortion laws, and that's assuming Op was even in America and not another country where it could have been illegal no matter where Op went. There's also unfortunately a lot of women who feel they can't get one even where it's legal because of pressure from family or their community as a whole
just because you didn't want a pregnancy before, doesn't mean that when you do get pregnant you still don't want the kid. sometimes women don't want to be pregnant at all and will get an abortion no matter what, sometimes they'll go through with the pregnancy. also, just because the father is an asshole, doesn't mean that the baby is! in fact, judging a child based on the actions of their parents is super scummy and vile behavior. OP wanted to keep her baby, why doesn't matter. thats what being pro-choice means. it means we don't question why someone chooses to get an abortion, but also why they choose to keep the baby. and we also don't go "oh the baby's father is rotten, you should abort the child!" because thats wrong too.
Last story: Did everyone just forget wigs exist? The bride could have atleast asked her to wear a wig if she had a problem with OPs hair. And no, OP wouldn't HAVE TO wear it, sure, but from what I picked up, this was a simple solution OP would likely have agreed to...
The first couple should absolutely not have a child together. Why is it that the more broke you are, the more it seems like a good idea to have children.
0:37 I guess part of the reason he's doing odd-jobs is that he is a doofus. Pregnancy is the preamble to the chaos that is birth, taking care of a newborn, then baby, then toddler, then...
It's terrifying to think about what that terrible husband did. Not only did he cheat when his wife was pregnant, but he also financially abused her and had intentions to harm both her and their child. He is clearly an irresponsible and unethical person. Thankfully, she managed to escape from him and has found a better life. She is truly strong and brave to overcome all those hardships. I hope he will be held accountable for his actions and that she and her daughter will have a bright future.
Me during every sentance inthe first story: "OH HONEY! NO!" That poor woman. Side note, if hubby was on the account as a signer, he can do anything he wants with the money. He can add to it, subtract from it, move it around, close the account, anything he wants, if he is a signer on the account. This is why my spouse and I have separate finances. We love each other and have been together for 22 years, but we keep our money separate.
The thing about weddings is it is all about the bride. The groom usually doesn’t give an AF. A lot of little girls imagine a glorious day. Guys are like, are we done yet? At least that was my experience 25 years ago for the JP and the subsequent Church marriage. They decide the venue their dress, the music, flowers, and cake they prefer. Dress was easier for most of the groomsmen. Those of is in uniform showed up in dress uniforms, those that weren’t wore a tux. The bachelor party was pretty tame. We met at one of my best friend’s house (sadly now deceased) and had 2 beers and shot the breeze.
Friends of the husband in first story were at least part of the reason why he was on drugs and causing all the drama. They were talking shit and they wanted free money for partying. Hopefully the guy stays locked for quite some time. Last story is not about boundary. It's about bridezilla being controlling. What a sorry existence she is.
S2: I’m so sorry for OP, but I agree with their ultimate decision and tell the dad (aka sheriff) about it. I hope OP made sure that every last photo was gone from either the phone, laptop or any other hard drive so they can’t be used as “bait” again. My friend was in a similar situation and although most people are understanding, it can get dangerous pretty fast.
Story #1: WTF. The husband and these friends are SICK!! OP! Please!! Divorce him!! Please!! "a lot of guys stray" WHAT? NO!! wow... What a sick environment!!
Story 1: This man is not husband or father material. He has so many issues and he's acting this way at 30. He even CHEATED ON OP! AND SHE TOOK HIM BACK? Have some goddam self respect people. Edit: HE WAS GONNA KILL THEM???
Story 1: the husband is insane, same with those friends, op divorce his entitled ass… he doesnt deserve anything cuz of his “anxiety and depression” like when i heard that, i figured something like he cheated a bit
Called it on the first story as soon as he said the husband went and found money in a coat “what is he on drugs?!” Boom. So glad OP was able to get out.
Story 1 - change passwords immediately. If you have a joint account, get yourself a separate account. Get him off any paperwork that allows him access to your personal accounts.
If someone sets boundaries and conditions that strict to participate in the wedding, they do not value your friendship at all. They are the type of friends that call only when they need somthing from you.
Story 1: "That money was marital property." Yeah, that's the keyword: "marital", as in _both of them_ aka _not something he's allowed to make a unilateral decision on, especially one that can affect them negatively._ Story 2: I didn't know her boundaries extended to someone else's body.
Swingers: My ex desperately wanted me to find a GF for us. Being no idiot (and demisexual, ask away of google it) I knew I'd end up with a lesbian couple (with one part trans) instead of two women. Long story short, she ran, we divorced, she spreads for everybody and everything, has depressions and is broke while I'm content.
As an ex-swinger, I can support that it is hard to find real ones. I quit because I no longer want anyone else. I love my guy and don't want anyone else. But I still have guys trying to chat with me, and I am fat and ugly. I know that there are bbw sites, but I never posted on them. (bbw is big beautiful women) Maybe they think I am desperate? I don't know, and I don't care. I deleted my account. But if you want to swing, go to reputable sites and events. They vary depending on location. Just check location, and talk to at least one female, better two, to validate it is real. Oddly, that goes for guys too in the couple of groups I was in. They wanted a female to vouch for him. Either way, it is better to be safe than sorry. Not good advice, just my experiences. PS guys keep finding me and I don't want the attention. I don't know how to stop it. I deleted my only account looking for people. Be VERY careful!
"It's interesting how easily people jump to conclusions based on misunderstandings or appearances. Sometimes, casual behavior or a certain social circle can lead others to make assumptions that are far from the truth. It's a reminder to not judge someone without really knowing their story."
The reason I hate all the pseudo psychologists in social media is because you have AH like that bridezilla taking the terms meant for a healthy relationship and turn them into manipulation. "I HAD MY BOUNDARIES" lady, YOUR BOUNDARIES DO NOT EXTEND TO SOMEONE ELSE'S BODY WTF
Story 1: after taking OP's money, spending it on themselves, and the job falling through I was going to tell OP to run. After hearing that he looked through her bank account and took money for bills I was yelling at the screen, "RUN! RUN! RUN!" I'm so glad OP got away from him before it was too late
I don't have sympathy for people who say they're broke but still choose to smoke and drink. SMH. ("BuT aDdiCtiOn iS A diSeAsE!" Well, starting to smoke IS a choice, and a very stupid one that doesn't need to be made ever.)
Story 1: no shit he was on drugs. Pretty sure this was a subplot to Requiem for a Dream. OP needs to get her act together and move out of that toxic waste dump if the people around her all find this behavior normal.
I’m sorry. What? “A lot of men stray when they find out their partner is pregnant” what kind of stupid logic is that? When I found out my wife was pregnant I the only “stray” thing I did was deep clean the entire apartment and start looking at baby proofing everything! (Yes…I went a bit overboard by baby proofing high cupboards that my now toddler cannot even reach…)
I don’t know why some brides are obsessed with how their wedding photos are gonna look. I got married nearly 2 months ago, and I’ve only looked at them maybe twice. People really don’t look at their wedding photos anywhere near as much as they think they will. Talk about problems with their self image. No-one but you are going to look twice at that “different” person in the wedding photos.
2 Types of Brides. Those, who seek validation from their partner. Those, who seek validation from EVERYONE, but their partner. The more pompous the marriage, the less love is involved. People that truly love each other are happy to be married, regardless if it's by Judge Judy or Elvis Presley, and whoever saw it happen.
