Relationships with Enneagram 8s

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Here are the five key themes to know about relationships with Enneagram Type Eight Challengers. These themes span the entire spectrum of healthy vs unhealthy 8s, so BE WARNED! These episodes contain more critical commentary than your average enneagram content on social media as I believe that's the heart of the enneagram's purpose (i.e. self-critical reflection that leads to true self-acceptance, healing, and personal growth). It's also not a one-size-fits all episode, so some of this should not resonate with everyone, especially in the higher levels of health. Lastly, if you want to go deeper into the theories around the type eight personality, check out the videos linked below 👇
0:00 Intro
0:40 Intensity
3:11 Adversity
5:37 Defeat
7:44 Autonomy
9:53 Control
12:46 Bonus
▶TYPE 8 COMPLETE GUIDE: • Enneagram Type 8s Expl...
▶ Type 8 Childhood: • Enneagram Type 8 Chall...
▶ Type 8 Wings: • Enneagram Wings for Ty...
▶ Type 8 Triads: • Enneagram Triads for T...
▶ Type 8 Instincts: • Instincts for Enneagra...
▶ Triadic Self Video: • Enneagram Triads: The ...
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Type 3 • Relationships with Enn...
Type 4 • Relationships with Enn...
Type 5 • Relationships with Enn...
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Type 7 • Relationships with Enn...
Type 8 • Relationships with Enn...
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#enneagram #relationships #enneagram8 #selfawareness #spirituality #selfhelp #motivation #selflove #wisdom #spiritualgrowth #personalitytypes #personality #enneagramtypes #enneagramtypes #enneagram8w9 #enneagram8w7 #love #dating #marriage #relationshipadvice #relationshipgoals #relationshipsuccess #extrovert #power #boss
-Written by Colton Simmons but with all due credit to the Don Riso & Russ Hudson of the Enneagram Institute and their many books for the majority of the insight contained in this video, as well as Richard Rohr, Helen Palmer, Claudio Naranjo, and many more inspirational enneagram minds!

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6 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 178

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Thanks so much for watching, liking, and subscribing folks! I notice all those acts of support and they truly make a difference in growing this channel and spreading the good word about the enneagram 💙

@Longshot-qv8is 11 месяцев назад

Thanks for these videos. I would love to see a deeper breakdown of the 8w9 (my type). I know I am an 8, but I feel like the way in which I control, comprise, and deffer to leadership is swayed heavily by the 9 wing.

@GlitterBunnyNL 3 месяца назад

Your points are 89% accurate 😅😅😅 I am so glad I found your channel! Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart ❤️ ❤❤🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

@jenmarsh53 11 месяцев назад

“You don’t want a bored 7 or 8 in the house because they start breaking shit.” 😂 I’m dying!!

@brcragg6318 2 месяца назад

Don’t know if I’m a 7w8 or 8w7 but when bored, I absolutely will wreak havoc and break shit!

@onepilltwopillredpillbluepill Месяц назад

Just had 3 doors fixed 😅

@once-again-to-zelda 9 месяцев назад

I've always felt closer to someone after conflict. There's rawness in conflict, even if it's ugly, and the other side promises clarity. That being said, I'm also quick to move on afterward and don't really know how to handle the fallout. My moment of awakening was losing friends over these confrontations and realizing my behavior has consequences. As hard as 8s can be, it hurts when your closest friends see you as a bully.

@YouveGotaType 9 месяцев назад

Thank you for sharing this. I think that's a very succinct, helpful personal description of the 8's growth process & general perspective.

@TFyoumeanmyhandleistaken 6 месяцев назад

I feel like you’re able to be your true, unapologetic self in an argument. I hate conflict with loved ones but I know that most people aren’t giving you 100% when they’re calm. And yes, the clarity after an argument is truly a breath of fresh air, although all the hurtful things that are exchanged are truly debilitating. Anyways, love ya guys. Stay peaceful.

@darlinqq_ 6 месяцев назад

As a 4sx i relate with everything said here which is a bit odd

@once-again-to-zelda 6 месяцев назад

@@darlinqq_ Not really. 4s are also a reactive type, which would make them less conflict avoidant, so I could see a 4 having a similar outlook.

@darlinqq_ 5 месяцев назад

@@once-again-to-zelda yeah you are correct

@rwbymoon3181 11 месяцев назад

Wow, you are right saying that we get so comfortable in 5. I love being on isolation from people.

@relecor 11 месяцев назад

The bridge analogy describing compartmentalizing was a great "ah ha" moment for me. Thank you!

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Glad to hear it!

@beth2727 2 дня назад

Haha my husband refers to this as the drawbridge

@christina2023 11 месяцев назад

lol when you said "feeling in control and feeling safe are so intertwined" I needed to pause because my first thought was: "Wait there is a difference between these two" 😂😂 as an 8w9 I can confirm I would love to see a video regarding differences between males and females with any types. Because in my experience, the 8 woman isn't that obvious because we are often tought to dismiss our Aggression (although it's there).

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Haha thanks for confirming 🙏 Lots of truth there, female 8s often get mistyped as “aggressive 2s” or 6s. Female 3s & 8s in America definitely have a hard time finding widespread acceptance for their traits like male 8s and 3s do. I’ll add these kind of gender implications into my next series on mistypes.

@christina2023 11 месяцев назад

Absolutely. For a long time I typed myself as a 9 because I couldn't identify with the assertiveness from the 8. Only when I got in touch with the deeper issues: Control, autonomy, childhood etc. I realized that this was exactly how I felt. I think as an 8 woman you act out lots of traits in a covert way. You kind of find way to act assertive under the radar. Not that this is healthy lol but it is my experience. I can imagine this goes for other types too. Male type 2 maybe also experiencing problems due to "feminine" qualities? Anyway, I am looking forward to your other videos! Imo you provide the best enneagram information here :) keep going

@alicemanning6799 11 месяцев назад

Agreed

@alicemanning6799 11 месяцев назад

As 8 wing 7 female I agree with above on the mistype or difficulty of the 8 traits being more masculine. Of course when healthy and leaning into the 2 the more nurturing or “feminine” traits come out, but it can be hard being a female 8! Although I wouldn’t want to be any other number! Lol

@christina2023 11 месяцев назад

@@alicemanning6799 Absolutely!!

@mrsclairebryce 5 месяцев назад

I have never understood my husband’s attitudes and behaviors so clearly. THANK YOU.

@YouveGotaType 5 месяцев назад

Glad it was a helpful watch!

@NatPix 8 месяцев назад

My husband, an 8, often describes interactions in terms of winning and losing or not letting someone take advantage of him, when there is nothing remotely competitive about the interaction. It’s never a good sign when he says he’s bored. Holy cow, the “provoking the partner to see how tough they are.” Oof. I’m a 9, by the way.

@kdan4594 8 месяцев назад

Yep. My 8 husband always says “there’s 2 types of people in this world: winners and losers.” And often expresses how he’s not going to be taken advantage of by anyone.

@YouveGotaType 8 месяцев назад

Oh boy, the ole 8-9 relationship. 8s love y'all cus you put up with stuff no one else will :)

@kellygordon6450 8 месяцев назад

Haha I’m a 9 married to an 8. If he’s not picking or poking fun at one of us in the house, we generally become concerned for his well being 😂

@mrsclairebryce 5 месяцев назад

Also a 9 …married to an 8w7. It is quite the match. I’m soooo thankful to have some insight. Im learning that in some ways I’m as difficult as he is!

@evbemma33 4 месяца назад

8 wants only people around who accept to be just satellites 😮 because 8 wants the biggest space and to be a priority. Is it somehow narcisstistic?

@joelrankin 6 месяцев назад

This was so accurate that it was spooky. It's like someone followed me around for a lifetime.

@YouveGotaType 6 месяцев назад

Definitely can feel that way when you find your type!

@McQueensAscension 6 месяцев назад

8w7 here and I normally don’t comment on videos but my guy you hit this one outta the park. Well done.

@YouveGotaType 6 месяцев назад

Love to hear it - and thanks for stopping to leave a comment 🙌

@beccasbookscapes5101 11 месяцев назад

So you just made me realize not only am I a Enneagram 8 but my bf is a Enneagram 8. Let’s just say our fights are downright explosive with neither of us backing down. This really helped understand more why it’s so hard to compromise together.

@YouveGotaType 10 месяцев назад

Whew that's a spicy pairing! So glad the video was helpful 🙌

@Ardorstorm 6 месяцев назад

Oh my god lmao

@kazlzeal6921 3 дня назад

Like two lions lol

@HenryColeOnDrums 9 месяцев назад

You nail this shit,Man ✊🏼💜…. Im Enneagram 8- Life Path 11 … Mom died when 9yrs, father went into depression for 5, then disappeared… Im getting to understand all of this and grow..Thank you.🙏🏼

@YouveGotaType 9 месяцев назад

My pleasure! And best wishes on the continued journey of growth & healing.

@Nyalloyd 5 месяцев назад

I have often justified doing things that aren’t in my best interest and with full awareness of doing it because I can. It’s an exercise in freedom

@YouveGotaType 5 месяцев назад

Hmmm that doesn't actually sound like a healthy sense of freedom.

@Nyalloyd 5 месяцев назад

@@YouveGotaType lol, indeed. I’ve watched myself do that though. I think I’m an 8 wing. Maybe. Perhaps 😂

@TheCakeIsALie422 9 месяцев назад

Words of affirmation are nice, but I need to have an intense level of trust in the person to believe them in the first place. I only really seem words of affirmation out when I am feeling stressed/insecure.

@YouveGotaType 9 месяцев назад

That makes sense.

@nceleste63 10 месяцев назад

My Oh My - my former 8 partner described to a tee. Thank you for this info as I can better understand why he seemed so “wild” to me. His thrill seeking energy and obsessive hobbies were boundless 🎉and it really wore me out. It’s true to know oneself is to be free.

@YouveGotaType 10 месяцев назад

Glad it was helpful! And what is your type just out of curiosity?

@MasterMetaphysicalAstrologer Месяц назад

Wow! As an 8, I have to say you really nailed me. I would add the word passion! So true moving from 8 to 2 when love comes in, but it doesn’t mean the 8 isn’t still checking things out because of our hyper vigilance. The island! And the retreat thereto! Wow, so true. Freedom to be ourselves. Don’t judge me. And we need to be bigger. I can accept compromise only as a means to make harmony and when I can trust. Yeah, mom, not so much. Thank goodness for maturity!! As far as my love languages, I am around 20 so much percent for each one of them so I appreciate all five of them very much, with the showing up as being a big one Great work!!!

@YouveGotaType Месяц назад

Thanks so much for sharing, and for the kind words!

@jbtechcon7434 11 месяцев назад

We had a divorced 50yo retired cop in my building, who tried to be the neighborhood bully when he wasn't failing to get elected head of the condo association. His favorite saying used to be, "...my piece of s**t dad taught me THAT much..." followed by some trite lesson about how the world is hard, you can't trust anybody, and you gotta be STRONG (like him of course). One day at a neighborhood bbq, he was performing loudly for the crowd. I acted interested in his story, and as soon as he used his favorite saying I chimed in, "That is SO true, those childhood traumas shape our whole personality for life." He sputtered and said, "That's not trauma, that's a fact." So I said in maximum empathetic tone, "But you said your dad taught you that lesson. It sounds like beat and traumatized it into you. That's VERY difficult to overcome, even WITH professional help." He sputtered again, and he was too dumb to realize I was doing this intentionally to shut him down. While he stood there trying to think of something to say, and our neighbors braced themselves for an explosion, I segued into talking about veterans with PTSD I've met in my volunteer work, many of whom actually had PTSD from childhood before they even entered the service. Every time bully-cop tried to talk, I'd weave the word "childhood" into my response. I never heard him mention his dad again, and he barely acknowledged my when we passed in the street. I ruined his whole practiced tough-guy routine by making it sound even to him like the hurt-little-boy talk it was.

@jbtechcon7434 11 месяцев назад

Oh, I forgot to say, I'm pretty sure he was an 8.

@akhui5040 10 месяцев назад

That's unhealthy 8 to extreme

@seabeejg 11 месяцев назад

This one helped me solidify my confidence that I am an 8 and not a 5 or cp6. Awesome work. I highly appreciate your natural talent in conveying the message of each type. I am forever grateful.

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Thanks so much 🙌 love hearing stuff like this.

@BombshElle_7 11 месяцев назад

I'm so happy for you! I had that same discrepancy. I knew I was an 8w9, but bc I'm also an INTJ, lots of people told me that's "impossible" (🙄) and that I must be a cp6. But learning about the core fears and childhood trauma of 8s and 6s helped me confirm my Challenger type. What he said about 8s being a product of single-parent households, with mom acting as both parents, hit home! I grew up having to protect her at times, and she didn't offer much practical direction in my teenage years. (I love my mom, dearly, nonetheless.) Anyway, this guy summed me up well, especially who I was in my 20s. But my 9 wing, God, and being in my late 30s has mellowed me out significantly.

@seabeejg 10 месяцев назад

@BombshElle_7 That's crazy. I, too, am an INTJ and thought that I probably wasn't an 8, but the 5 or cp6. I am an 8w7 sx/sp and believe that I am an 863 tritype, though 874 and 873 (less so) resonate to a great degree. That six in there really had me thinking that I would have to be a cp6 or a 5 because of lots of time in stress, but similar to what you said, my father left when I was 7 and my mom had to play both roles and failed miserably on many fronts "trying" to be that double role. But like you, I love her very much despite it all. Afterall, she did not give us up and in hindsight, that's all I could have asked for. So I'm grateful. I get the "INTJs can't be 8s" from others thing, too. They are actually common enough behind 5s, 1s, and 6s, with 3s being about even with 8s, apparently. Isn't it neat to be an INTJ 8, yet very difficult? I wish you the best going forward.

@Corybander 11 месяцев назад

I enjoy your overviews. It feels like talking shop about people.

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Glad to hear it!

@FGLandCo 9 месяцев назад

I love ALL your videos. Informative, succinct, without unnecessary fluff. Your videos about 8s have helped me understand myself, my motivations and why I react the way I do. Your videos about the other types help me understand people through their personality lens. It has helped me immensely in business and personal life. Hands down, you have the best enneagram personality type videos.

@YouveGotaType 9 месяцев назад

Thank you for this awesome string of compliments! So glad you've found the videos helpful. You're exactly the kind of person I've made them for 🙌

@margaretjudice8944 11 месяцев назад

Great video! Thank you for sharing!

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Thanks Margaret!

@STECKEDDECK 11 месяцев назад

Damn! im an 8 and you just described me absolutely accurate. i heard about enneagram only few weeks ago and usually im very sceptical about these kind of things BUT every information about an 8 i found fits me on point and it also does with my family and friends who i told about the enneagram. its amazing

@YouveGotaType 10 месяцев назад

So glad to hear the video felt accurate! And that you've discovered the enneagram :)

@Ha7yde 11 месяцев назад

i related tons to this! love the videos, and you got quality time pretty accurate, but i also love words of affirmation, especially when they change them up often haha

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Glad it resonated!

@KYstyler Месяц назад

Wow, I would love to hear more about grief work for the 8s in my family. Great video.

@Serv0817 8 месяцев назад

Spot on, good analysis.

@YouveGotaType 8 месяцев назад

Thank you!

@jmsbls25 4 месяца назад

How did you get in my brain???? Wow. Incredible.

@YouveGotaType 4 месяца назад

Haha glad it was an accurate viewing experience ;)

@mouserun8800 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for doing this video.

@YouveGotaType 10 месяцев назад

My pleasure. Thanks for watching.

@CL-ws6ki 11 месяцев назад

Sp 8 here Acts of service mean a hell of a lot, followed by quality time and then words of affirmation. Gifts is last, whilst they are nice and appreciated my wants are usually things I can only attain myself, not be bought.

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing!

@InongePMubita 5 месяцев назад

Am an 8 and my love languages are like yours lol! Gifts being my last one too.

@jerrysstories711 11 месяцев назад

If you mention the Batcave, you're obliged to tell us if Bruce Wayne is an 8. 🙂

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

He is 💯 an 8.

@jdb6026 11 месяцев назад

My dad is an 8 and I am a 6 like my mom. Boy, do the three of us have a lot of disagreements. My dad is generally more agreeable with people he loves and one of his ways to "agree" with and support me is by leaving me the heck alone. I didn't get this when I was young, so in my mind, I always thought that my dad didn't love me. My dad is also a very "if you wanna tag along, tag along, but don't get in my way" kind of guy and he's more of a discovery bloke where he wants to wing it in life (unless he's super stressed, then he will slip into deep research or what have you to distract himself). As a mainly phobic 6w5, boy, this is NOT the way to roll for me. I would like to be informed as hell. But I know that life is about informing yourself and winging it anyway. What I struggle the most with my dad is that despite arguing being something that 8s supposedly love, my dad HATES arguments. He doesn't want his opinions countered or questioned. He doesn't wanna feel like he doesn't know his shit. I would love to argue, but I cannot for the life of me live with someone who loves to argue with others' opinions but doesn't want anyone to argue with theirs. That's just hypocrisy. The thing is, I also love arguing theory (as a 6w5). My dad hates theory. He's a practical man to the core. If he hears me talk about anything theoretical, he'll just shrug his shoulders and say, "Well, up to you."

@misstigermilk 3 месяца назад

Haha was happy to see you lend a sense of humor to describing eight's persona.

@YouveGotaType 3 месяца назад

I try ;)

@divinesunshine2009 26 дней назад

You absolutely read me like a book, so much that I'm laughing out loud and about to cry at the same time lol

@YouveGotaType 25 дней назад

Haha sounds like that classic enneagram feelin! Glad it resonated.

@edgewalker7459 8 месяцев назад

Needing intense trust ,,, loyalty or lack of ,being the thing that hurt me most , my intensity in love and regular communication,,and using anger as a response to negative feelings ,, the urge to protect my family , I could go on but spot on for almost all of it

@YouveGotaType 8 месяцев назад

Glad it resonated 🙌

@rightnow4450 2 месяца назад

8 with adhd just learning about this at 61 manage to have a wonderful 5 partner who challenges me and loves me despite my pushyness the older I get the more in the moment I become and more childish

@kingali7602 11 месяцев назад

That's amazing video man, I've been waiting for it since the video you made about type 6 And by the way what you mentioned really made me remember the batman, especially when you mentioned the bat cave Many people typed him as type 1,but compared to your descriptions, I think he fits with 8 more than 1 So what do you think?

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Glad you enjoyed it! It's funny you mention Batman because someone else just did in the comments. I would absolutely say he's an 8. Which would probably make Joker a 5...

@tyyypo_ Месяц назад

The too lovey-dovey comment came at the right time.

@itsjustahaze 6 месяцев назад

Healed 8 here - I would actually say that words of affirmation is what we THINK we want when we are unhealthy, going into our 5.. we want that quick gratification of reassurance but it confuses our partners because we like it for the first few minutes but then reflect if the actions and the words match up.. and then we get mad at the fact that we feel lied to. I use the enneagram to talk to friends about life a lot and my friends who are 8's that believe they like words of affirmation that is a shortcut for me to be aware of the fact they may not know themselves as well.. because it always comes down to the fact that we(8) really only watch actions. IF you are an 8.. keep up the good work of healing, it's such a hard journey but MY GOD is it worth it..

@kindauncool 5 месяцев назад

Get out of my head.

@TheTravelingLucie 3 месяца назад

Super on point!! I'm and 8w7 and this video I think would be great to share with others as I'm dating. I feel like 8s are so misunderstood... especially the healthy ones.

@YouveGotaType 3 месяца назад

Agreed about being misunderstood - I say almost that exact thing in my video about 8s and 4s. Hope it helps with the future dates ;)

@Lizzzi86 11 месяцев назад

I'm 8 and this his too accurate! 😱

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Glad it feels accurate!

@Lizzzi86 11 месяцев назад

This is* . My phone changed the word 😂

@okas_art 4 месяца назад

Watching this after being humbled countless numbers of times is so funny. No longer need to ask why certain things even happened in the first place 😂

@lady_icarus 11 месяцев назад

I’m laughing throughout this whole thing only because WOW SO RIGHT! 😂😂😂 4 in a relationship with an 8! 🥹💕 Also I have an 8 father. ANYWAY SO TRUEEEEE!!! Your videos have been stellar!

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Thanks so much - that's so great to hear!

@lady_icarus 11 месяцев назад

@@YouveGotaType I mean, it is like you are reading out their complexities so concisely! Just spot on-It’s incredible! Thank you, again! Makes me love and understand people even more. 💜💜💜

@azman1946 10 месяцев назад

It's as if you were in my head and unpacked 40 years of complexity in just a few minutes. Absolutely brilliant 👏 Are you an 8 yourself?

@YouveGotaType 10 месяцев назад

Thanks so much! Glad it felt accurate, and I'm a type 1. Lots of overlap with those two types though!

@user-bl8xy6je8w 2 месяца назад

Here another sx874 commenting 😂 you really nailed this one. Raw energy: check! I think my love language is arguing with my also sp 8 husband lol. Thank God we can handle some yelling

@emilybaker6193 5 месяцев назад

All you 8's out there read "Cant hurt me by David Goggins" He's gotta be an 8. It's a great book. ❤ from a 9w8.

@moyan853 7 месяцев назад

Great analysis

@YouveGotaType 7 месяцев назад

Thanks!

@aridmcb 11 месяцев назад

Sooo accurate!!! 👏

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Thanks!

@user-ur3xu4ew5f 11 месяцев назад

I actively dislike words of affirmation. It feel gross. Like, you noticed I was struggling or that I seemed off (upset perhaps). And you commenting on it was sort of like bandaging a wound I don't have.

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Interesting.... not even from a trusted loved one?

@user-ur3xu4ew5f 11 месяцев назад

@@YouveGotaType It's acceptable as long as you're discussing my efforts but as soon as you qualify me as a person, I don't like it.

@rubabr.j3990 11 месяцев назад

True. If from a close/valued person it makes me uncomfortable and I need to throw in a joke to counter the emotional moment, or if its from someone who doesnt know me too well, it's like well... why do you think I need to hear or value your opinion about me? I already know I'm good at this/valuable etc. Lol

@harrisingm 8 месяцев назад

Wow you described me really well.

@YouveGotaType 8 месяцев назад

Glad it resonated ;)

@amusedcuriosity3370 4 месяца назад

Oh man I really relate to this stuff even though I've been typing myself as a 6w5 for years... definitely going to be thinking about this for a while.

@YouveGotaType 4 месяца назад

Tons of overlap between those two types. Hope the complete guides help! Guide to 6s: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-jcjSX4qHb9Y.html Guide to 8s: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-MU48u52wtMc.html

@amusedcuriosity3370 4 месяца назад

@@YouveGotaType Thank you! :)

@mcmuffin3 9 месяцев назад

Wanted to say I am a solid 8 bit words of affirmation feels like my love language. I think mostly because I am always the person creating disruption then the person that accepts that loves me, likes the argument and will say they agree and that I’m righteous in my argument.

@YouveGotaType 9 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing 🙏

@lovegansaw 3 месяца назад

Both my wife and I are kind of 8. This video really helps. Thanks a ton.

@YouveGotaType 3 месяца назад

Glad it was helpful 🙌

@alicemanning6799 11 месяцев назад

Acts of service and quality time. Oh and if an 8 is in a relationship where they are not the breadwinner , not ideal! Haha me!! And SO not ideal lol 8.7 wing married to a 1 - looking forward to hearing about that in a future video 🙏

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing and great to hear that breadwinner concept holds true! Currently working on those enneagram relationship pairings, gunna be a little bit though ;)

@alicemanning6799 11 месяцев назад

@@YouveGotaType Can’t wait! But with you ones we gotta wait…just don’t be too much of a perfectionist…I’m inpatient! Lol I’m sure they’ll be awesome to watch when they come out

@INTJ91 10 месяцев назад

How would you feel about doing a series on the tritypes? They’re so interesting and add more layers to the personality. Would love to see you dissect those.

@YouveGotaType 10 месяцев назад

I appreciate your interest! But I don't actually find value in the tritype theory. I find it distracting from the already complex network of triads, movements of integration/disintegration, wings, and instincts that explain why there's so much overlap between types. Another way of saying it, is that it's redundant. If someone tells me their "tritype" I can just as easily explain those connections with the pre-existing structures of the enneagram. Plus, I'd say almost a third of the people using the enneagram aren't self-aware enough to find their primary type, let alone three types in a specific order.

@missladybug6712 7 месяцев назад

I'm a 1 but so much of 8 describes me! I heard someone once say "a 1 is just an 8 in chains." That's me in a nutshell.

@YouveGotaType 7 месяцев назад

Haha that's a fun phrase, albeit only in regards to expressing anger. Lots of overlap between the two Gut Types.

@monicacalzolari8457 7 месяцев назад

This was excellent. You tell it like it is. Are you an 8? You explain how a difficult childhood with an absent father made me so tough and intense.

@YouveGotaType 7 месяцев назад

So glad you enjoyed it! And I'm a 1, so lots in common with 8s :)

@monicacalzolari8457 5 месяцев назад

I am a 2 and an 8. Quite a contrast. Helper to my mom. Challengers to my dad.

@ginamarierussonorcross6424 5 месяцев назад

Okay, so female social/sexual 8 here. I absolutely love this video, but I'm also curious about how much the content is based off the self-preservation and male eight. I almost always hear videos like these as being spoken through the lens of self-preservation and male because they seem to be missing key aspects of my experience as someone who is very relational, and all of that energy is protective, not caretaking like a two or about loyalty like a six. How would this video change, or what this video change if it was oriented to the social or sexual instincts first, instead of the self-preservation instinct? I think the piece of it for me, is that there is this focus on explaining the eight through the lens of taking care of themselves first. Which I 100% believe is true! I know how the instincts and the ego serve the self regardless of the who we are oriented towards. But for me, the biggest lesson that I have had to learn throughout my life is separating myself from my social sexual instinct tendencies. My self pres blindness had made it so all of the energy that I was putting into protecting my people and my relationships and not giving to myself was actually harming me. (Again, yes, I'm an 8. I've done years of self-reflection on this and I'm definitely an eight. Not a two or a six.) I guess my find myself wishing and hoping that there could be a broader perspective on 8s, so people like me, especially female 8s, can see themselves more represented in enneagram content.

@YouveGotaType 5 месяцев назад

I'm glad you loved the video! And it's interesting to hear your feedback for two reasons: 1). This video had nothing to do with a focus on the self-preservation instinct. I intentionally tailored these themes to be as broad as possible - so the nature of intensity, feeling energized by adversity, the movement of disintegration to 5, a need for autonomy, and struggles to comprise/forgive are all hallmark themes of 8ness no matter their instinct. 2). If you want "more representation" for your particular experience of the enneagram then I'd say you should make some content/videos about it! See if it truly resonates with other people, and if it does, it'll be extremely helpful to have it out there in the ecosystem of enneagram content. That's what I did despite having zero experience making videos 5 years ago.

@mouserun8800 11 месяцев назад

Please do 8w9 SX

@lobby4545 3 месяца назад

I think a lot of how ppl r brought up shapes their personality. I was bullied in school. Cheated on. Sexually assaulted more than once or twice. Abused by my father. I’m an ENTJ enneagram 8.

@juliewhite2867 3 месяца назад

Do you have a four and eight relationship video? It’s incredibly challenging to navigate.

@YouveGotaType 3 месяца назад

I just posted it to the Members section today - but it'll be live to the general public in two weeks.

@angelaferellla6950 11 месяцев назад

You are so spot on, I’m an eight 😊

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Glad to hear it!

@alexanderbialonowicz5770 11 месяцев назад

All my exes can’t be wrong .. so I’m more likely an 8 rather then 7 . Arguing just for fun ain’t for everyone apparently 🤯

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Lol sure ain’t

@alyssamitchell8191 11 месяцев назад

This seven loves quality time-anything, anywhere and at almost anytime.

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Love it, thanks for sharing 🙌

@realSimoneCherie 9 месяцев назад

7:17 COMPLETELY called out

@YouveGotaType 9 месяцев назад

🌉🔥🏝️

@darlinqq_ 6 месяцев назад

As a 4w5 sx i adore type 8s and love their uniqueness in the traditional type 4 way lmao

@YouveGotaType 6 месяцев назад

It's funny that most 4s have a love/hate relationship with 8s

@darlinqq_ 5 месяцев назад

@@YouveGotaType very much haha

@respectthepath 4 месяца назад

I love words but truly actions must follow

@YouveGotaType 4 месяца назад

Thanks for sharing, makes sense!

@charlenelavalle2373 4 месяца назад

I am an 8 and the ex was too. He was very wounded and had a neg ego which lead him to betrayal. I have done alot of my soul work and had to leave because he was too weak to look at his wounds. He was very toxic.

@tunaste 4 месяца назад

I hate being an 8. Thought I was a 3 for awhile but their vanity doesn't make sense for me--I'm largely indifferent to other's opinions (of me, of events, the world, etc), good or bad. I want to move in the direction of 2 and be a helper to improve my relationships, but I worry that's the quickest way to be taken advantage of. I guess I'm unhealthy and have become too skeptical. I refuse to let anyone take advantage of me.

@Masteroogway40 11 месяцев назад

Actually, I'm a hard 8, and words of affirmation is my number one, but quality time is almost tied with it only one point behind. The other 3 are so low as to be functionally non-existent. Just those 2 matter. If you're with me and you tell me I'm the best at something, I'm good to go.

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing the LLs 🙌

@miaalyssavelazquez1934 8 месяцев назад

Scary accurate

@YouveGotaType 8 месяцев назад

The enneagram is indeed!

@charlenelavalle2373 4 месяца назад

I’m curious what a good match is for an 8 and is there a dating app to find them? :)

@YouveGotaType 4 месяца назад

Haha idk of dating app for types but I'd say any healthy 8 is a good match for any other healthy enneagram type :) Although, some type combos just occur very rarely for 8s (like a 3-8 combo).

@gingerg7903 3 месяца назад

not bad at all for me 🙂🙂🙂

@siasingh7479 9 месяцев назад

Wow. You literally know me.

@YouveGotaType 9 месяцев назад

🙌

@inkerikavantera 9 месяцев назад

good work. entp 8w7

@YouveGotaType 9 месяцев назад

Thanks 🙌

@nianexus135 Год назад

Why is the premiere so far ?!

@YouveGotaType Год назад

I've been launching one a week with this series and I went in order from 1 to 9 (next time I'll do the reverse order).

@nianexus135 Год назад

@@YouveGotaType hahahah I know ! I’m so happy you have implemented this it is a good way to build excitement but it’s funny as a type 3 I’m like oh yea mines first but my bf is an 8 so then I’m like oh noooo good job keep up the work 🔥🫶🏾

@YouveGotaType Год назад

@@nianexus135 😂

@respectthepath 4 месяца назад

Literally me now youtubing after a conflict w my 5 husband

@YouveGotaType 4 месяца назад

8s & 5s Relationship episode is coming out in a two weeks!

@shynn5827 11 месяцев назад

What does that all mean for your relationship? HELL!

@BombshElle_7 11 месяцев назад

I appreciate your content and respect how knowledgeable you are, so please don’t get mad at my request... Would you mind not using profanity? It's so hard finding clean content these days. You're deep dive on Type 8 (an older video) truly helped me understand myself, and, I also loved that is was clean. Please think about it. Thank you 🙏🏽 ❤

@YouveGotaType 11 месяцев назад

Do you think I haven't thought about every word I put into these videos? Observe how closely they are edited, then reconsider your question.

@FGLandCo 9 месяцев назад

Alternative perspective from an 8: The funniest part of this video was your description of what an 8 does after breaking an arm while skiing. It was spot on. We think exactly that way.

@AlanaL3 10 месяцев назад

I’m brutally and intensely invested in my homemaking and child rearing. MY goal is to make a haven for my family and raise up incredible boys. That’s where my intensity comes out. I am fully, consistently, all heart poured into my homemaking. I make a tiny income, my amazing 7 provides my life. I love being home…I’m a strong 9 wing:)

@YouveGotaType 10 месяцев назад

This far more like a Type 6 Loyalist than a Type 8 Challenger, a mistype that happens all the time. I took a peak at your videos and I'd say it's worth investigating the Type 6 a bit more (especially in regards to religion, being a dutiful wife aka Proverbs 31, etc).