TikTok's "Relationship Tests" Are Making Gen-Z Lonely 

The only relationship I subscribe to is the "Waitstaff Test.". If the person you're dating is blatantly rude and nasty to the waiters/waitresses at a restaurant for no reason, that is usually a red flag.

at this point we can call this self-sabotage

8:42 I just know this "theory" would turn into an outrage if a man did it. If a man made a mess intentionally and told his girlfriend to clean it up, he'd be called a misogynist and he'd be bullied off the platform. But since its a woman doing it, its apparently completely fine and funny. No man or woman should be expected to clean up after their partners.

Bro wtf is up with the ketchup. Purposely makes a mess like a toddler and gets upset when their partner dosnt wanna clean it

I love how these people are TESTING their partners and don't realize how horrible and how much of a red flag these are

Relationship tests are a red flag for me

They failed the girlfriend test. 😂

Some women are coming to a harrowing realization that their male partners are, shocker, actual people and not just servants to them. Yes it’s good to be loving and spoil your so, but it’s not something you can demand lol

As a gen-z I am appalled by the lengths people are going to to make sure their relationship is tiktok approved, like??? How about we have happiness theory, where it's just "Does your partner make you happy? Yes? Congrats!" and then everyone calms tf down

SINCE WHEN ARE TESTS A THING FOR LOVE?!😭PEOPLE ARE CRAZZZYYY

Being alone does not equal lonely, society needs to figure that out.

The bird test kind of reminded me of this self help book called The Relationship Cure where they did studies on couples to see if they were right that close, happy relationships are based on sharing deep personal stories and information with each other. What they actually found was that couples that reported deeper happiness were not constantly talking about very deep things with each other, although it would happen. Basically what they were doing that was working comes down to this thing called an emotional bid. An emotional bid is essentially a big or small attempt to engage with your partner. It could be something as simple as wanting to tell them about your day and how they respond to that, or it could be more serious like getting help from when you have an injury, or it could be asking for a hug, basically anything that is an attempt to interact with your partner. When one partner is attempting an emotional bid, the other partner has a few different choices. They could turn towards that emotional bid which is to respond very positively and enthusiastically with it. They could turn away from that emotional bid which looks more like a non-committal response are very low energy response. Or they can turn against the emotional bid where they get angry or upset or punish you in some way for the attempt. Couples that reported deeper happiness long-term and day-to-day showed that they were turning towards their partners emotional bids and vice versa more often than not. An example could be pointing something out that excited you like a bird, or it could be requiring physical help when you actually need it, or it could be "hey look at this meme" or something. But the issue is that it's not a test with a pass fail that tells you whether or not a partner secretly hates you or actually loves you. The book basically talks about learning to recognize when your partner is attempting to make an emotional bid and making more of an effort to turn towards their emotional bids to show that they matter and that you care. These TikTok tests are basically emotional bids in a way, but they are roleplaying it in a disingenuous way. It's tainted. Especially when you see that they're taking the tests so literally and specifically that even when their partner is turning towards this faux emotional bid like offering to cut up an orange for them or offering to get them a fruit cup instead or whatever, that isn't good enough for them. The thing about learning about emotional bids is that it isn't supposed to be a new way to test your partner. It would be something that you bring up with your partner and discuss and make an effort together to turn towards each other's emotional bids. Because some people just don't realize in the moment that being attentive towards your partners emotional bids is important because they don't even know what that is or that they're doing something that might cause sadness or resentment over time. Seeing how your partner responds to your emotional bids is important, but don't use it as another test to manipulate your partner into performing a certain way. Discuss emotional bids together and create genuine happiness together. Not tests. If after discussing emotional bids with each other, you find that they are still turning away or against, talk with them! Happy relationships build on each other and you work out how best to show each other you care. If through discussion, you don't that they don't care, they lash out, etc, then that is useful information about your relationship. Anyway I really enjoyed that book. I found it because of an assignment I had for a sociology class, where we had to pick a self-help book that was written by actual educated experts in the field that it was discussing, and was based on real research. We had a lot of requirements to make sure that we weren't picking just some random celebrity self-help book. If anyone finds this concept interesting, I would highly recommend reading the book itself rather than just my summary of it.

As someone in a long term relationship, these tests just seem like an “easy out” because they’re too afraid to break up…

Plot twist: all these years of men saying "babe go make me a sandwich" were just men doing the orange theory all along

As someone who has been married for almost 8 years, this is some of the most ignorant and childish junk I've heard. No one should be testing their significant other to validate their relationship. If this is real and not just faked for clout, these people are NOT ready for any type of relationship. I can't believe these are adults.

Women saying, "I really want an orange right now" in a request form reminds me of my children. If they say they want something, I will naturally help them to get it and peel it. So, basically these women are reverting back to children under 6 years old in order to prove if their significant other loves them enough. Ffs. 😂 Side note: Women worked hard not to be treated like children, so these women are reverting back to that as well without even realizing it. That's disturbing.

I’m Gen Z and I’ve never understood why people feel the need to “test” their partners. If your partner makes you feel happy and loves you, then they love you. There’s no secret motive underneath.

You were right Mom, it was always that darn phone 😔

The orange peel test was supposed to find out if your boyfriend annoyed by you asking for a small inconvenience. Instead of course in tiktok fashion the starting using it to judge their boyfriend by annoying them to hell 😭

If someone is this insecure about their relationship then they shouldn't be in one until they learn to trust the person they are supposed to trust the MOST outside of family

The ketchup test is absolutely insane- like- no sane person is going to clean up after you after you deliberately make the mess. If you do that and your partner refuses, I’d say that’s a success because your partner is sane and has boundaries.

my boyfriend couldn’t carry me up a hill, hell he can’t carry me at all except for on his back, but we’re celebrating our 5 year anniversary soon and i can get myself up a hill

The ketchup test is like low-key psychotic... especially since they do it RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM!

As a member of gen z (regrettably), I've grown disgusted with so-called "dating" and, therefore, have stopped. Dating is no longer dating. It's just hooking up and it's a complete waste of time. Plus, most relationships (from what I've seen) are incredibly fake now. Heck, I have come to hate Valentines Day more than I ever have because of what it's come to represent.

what does carrying someone up a hill have to do with a healthy relationship… 😭 i’m so tired of this generation

if you REALLY love someone, you shouldnt have to test them.

I will say the one and only orange peel video I encountered actually showed problems in the relationship. The girl gave the reasoning that she had just gotten her nails done and didn’t want to ruin them. The guy started acting like peeling an orange is a chore akin to doing the laundry or cleaning the kitchen and was like “but I just did my own laundry three days ago” AS IF HE DID IT AS A PERSONAL FAVOR TO HER? Then it ended with him telling her she’s not special and trying to make her feel bad about herself. There were so many red flags. He was so disrespectful and treating his girlfriend like a maid instead of a partner ($100 says he’s always treated his mother as a maid as well). In this one and only case, to see the verbal abuse and manipulation, I think the orange peel test is okay. But the examples you showed, where the guy just says no, I agree, does not mean anything about the relationship.

12:19 Lmao I tried the "bird test" on my friend. Texted him "Ayo, just saw a birdie :)" and he said "Nice :D" ... we both love birds :3

If someone,intentionally or not, poured ketchup on the counter (especially that amount),they are cleaning it up. This is just entitlement to the max!

"it's a survival test!! if we were ever in the situation where you need to carry me up a hill we would need that!!" girl focus on not getting in that situation in the first place..

the ketchup one is a whole new level of crazy seriously

Any relationship test is an immediate red flag

The best tip for a relationship to be healthy is to trust each other and to communicate with each other, as well as treating each other with respect and dignity. TikTok is a bad guide to such stuff. A heretic cannot claim to be a holy man, yes?

Damn it's refreshing to hear someone say relationships are not for them so confidently ✨

This would be my favorite channel if she didn’t SCREAM everything at the highest possible pitch.

3:01 i choked bc i didn’t expect this 😭😭💀💀

I never really care what people do in their relationships is none of my concern, but I can't imagine myself randomly taking pictures of my partner, let alone filming them. Y'know there is this thing called ASKING? It's not hard and it takes 2.5 seconds.

Blame the constant comparison contests of social media. NOTHING is good enough because of the the idea that there’s alllllways something better around the corner.

i think these people also need to relearn definitions of a few words. such as “theory” “pov” and “trauma” i fucking hate tiktok

I hate seeing people happy together. It makes me feel so depressed and lonely. But at the same time I can’t mentally deal with love.. then again I want it so badly.”

I'm glad I don't use tiktok or any other social media similar to it.

if someone did a relationship test on me i would immediately break up with them. it's a red flag to me. you're deciding whether i love you or not based on some stupid test someone on tiktok came up with...

I am not on Tik-Tok, so I never know these trends, but I do follow someone on YT who has a Tik-Tok and mentioned the orange peel trend. So I went to look at their version, and it was silly and cute. Didn't think much of it, but I can see how this would be toxic, especially the demanding ones. Your rant about not wanting to be in a relationship made me laugh! I am aromantic, so I feel that!

These are the people in relationships and yet I'm single?? Mkay.. I see

People who have to test their partner regularly to prove their partner loves them, come off as incredibly insecure for me

The way they "test" their partner to see if they "love them" make me go "Ok but do YOU love THEM?" With these tests they sure don't act like it... These tests are straight-up manipulative and controlling, and girlie, that ain't cute. The worst part of it all is that I can with 100% confidence say that these women have a double standard, where if their partner did these tests on them, they'd call them an asshole for it...

Imagine doing the bird test and your man tells you “I’m blind."

When I was pregnant I saw a Raffaelo ad on tv (it's something I love and I had been pushing not buying it for a while) and I commented something like "ahhh" to it or wtv. My husband got up and I thought he went to the bathroom but he got dressed and went outside telling me that he would come right back and didn't tell me were he was going. I was left confused because that was not like him at all. Circa 20 minutes later he came home with an entire package of Raffaelos just for me and told me that he didn't tell me were he was going because I would've tried to convince him not to go. So, while I'd say that my husband is pretty great overall, if I behaved like those women he probably wouldn't do what I would ask of him either. Specially the ketchup one. It's so entitled and meanspirited. Doing that to the person you supposedly love seems pretty childish and immature. If my husband did it to me I wouldn't like it either. Relationships are a two way street. Everyone wants to be respected and loved but I don't see the respect or love towards the men in these videos.

What happend to "allowing for relationship to flow naturally" so that maybe or maybe not a simple acquaintanceship might lead to a closer relationship, these people are control-freaks with some major red flags to think these relationship-tests are somehow nessecary! I'm also not in a romantic relationship and never plan to be in one, this world's human-society is already overpopulated and sick in the head about romantic/sexual love as it is and it needs to stop.

I think the feeling that you need to test your relationship is a good indicator it’s going to fail, regardless of your partners’ response. Edit: I see you said this same thing at the end.

Getting through this video is legitimately so hard because all the Tiktok clips are making me scream internally 💀

Watching you ranting about any topic is so interesting

Whether or not a man could pass the hill test depends on how heavy his girl is not on survival

thess tests sound like something people would do in medieval times in order to prove themselves to be worthy of marriage, like lifting a girl sitting in a basket in order to prove that you're physically strong or carving love spoons to show craftsman's skills. cool and stuff but like it's 21 century let's just idk use our brains and communicate with each other and not just dance mating dances??

as someone's whos been in a high school relationship for 2+ years, it is ASTONISHING how bad people my age are at finding love because THEY DO IT TO THEMSELVES. true love is really amazing and im blessed to have found someone who has the same values as me for dating, bc ppl out here are CRAZY

i wanna point out that the hill test is also ableist because some people are physically incapable of carrying another person. The ketchup test makes me so mad. That's a red flag to me, if you're going to willingly make a mess and then expect someone else to clean it up? gtfo. my ex was like that and he believed that me expecting him to clean up his own messes was "toxic and juvenile"

And now gentlemen, a "test" for these TikTok women: "4 hours without your smartphone and social media in any way, shape or form"

Tiktok should been ban long ago. The amount of dead beat content is insane. Yeah no wonder the current and new gen is gonna be lonely forever. Amount of BS is just wow... so glad im single.

CRIKEY! You started so loud! I couldn't lower the volume in time 🤯

11:04 my ex used to love when i got excited over mediocre things like a cute dog or a pretty flower but that didn't stop them from cheating on me 💀💀

Gen z always talks about red flags when they are the red flag

A partner or potential partner playing stupid relationship tests from TikTok is grounds for me to immediately part ways with that person.

I love the man at 3:14, somehow I always agree on everything he says in the shorts that come up in my fyp 😅

I know it’s not the focus of the video, but it’s kind of comforting to hear you have similar thoughts as me - not caring to date or anything. Everyone around me always questions me and tries to push me to date and find someone to marry. All my friends are either married/dating or planning their whole life around their nonexistent partner. I’m happy single as I am, doing what I want and enjoying life with my friends and family. I have zero desire for that kind of relationship. Maybe that will change one day, but I for sure don’t need a partner to live a fulfilled life. My married brother cannot understand the concept of “not wanting to have a significant other” He always though every person wants that. He’s been trying to set me up with one of my college friends against my will :/ Sorry for my little sidetracked rant, I needed to get this off my chest :)

I am Gen-Z and I always say this, again and again: Nothing good comes from Tiktok, and here we have proof of that once more.

9:50 he’s about to put her in a asylum 😂 😂😂😂

As soon as i see a phone , i am not doing anything....

This is the stupidest shit ever. 🤦‍♀️ I despise eating corn on the cob so my husband takes it off the cob for me. 😅 I should start a corn on the cob theory 🙄

I couldn’t be with someone who needed to “test” me and I especially couldn’t be with someone who needs validation from social media. I love your voice of reason approach to these topics.

11:00 I didn't realize bird test was a tiktok trend. It isn't about simply pointing something out, but rather displaying appreciation of said something and inviting your partner to appreciate it with you. For example, not just "hey, look, there's a bird", but "oh, that bird is so cute, isn't it?". Regardless of how you view it, leave it to people on tiktok to completely miss the point, I suppose.

I don't really understand the other tests and all much, but the orange peel theory, that's taken too literally by some tiktokers and not left as what it was originally meant to show. Similar case with the bird test honestly. Orange peel theory was just supposed to show your partner's consideration to do something for you, which you can do, but you really don't like doing it and hence, you ask your partner to do it for you. It's not just "peeling an orange" per se, it could be any minute daily task, whether any it be any chore or something else. And this "theory" isn't really limited to guys, it's for women too. For example, I don't like cleaning the bathroom up after me and my partner bathe together, so he does it for me instead, voluntarily. I just asked him for that once, and now it's a regular routine. In his case, he doesn't like doing the dishes, so I do them for him instead. He doesn't have to ask me each time, neither do I need to, we both just explained it to each other once randomly, and now it's a daily thing. That's what the orange peel theory is to show, that your partner is considerate enough to help you out with any minute and simple task(hence why the example included "peeling an orange"), without you having to ask them for it. And about the entitlement thing, it's just the love language "acts of service" Come on. You don't demand them to do it(like most of those TikTok girls did honestly), you can just ask them, and not always have to say "please" for it. They do something for you, you do something for them back. It's that simple. For the bird test, it's just to see if your partner gets as excited as you, at any thing, even if it's pretty minute, like seeing the birds. Why? Because they like how you get excited about it and just wish to match your energy. And it's mostly natural and subconscious imo. For example, once, I found it pretty cute when I once was able to buy a very small and cute box of juice, so much so that I sent a picture of it to my partner saying how it was so "cute". He replied with something similar to "Aww, just like you are!". That is the thing. He tried to match my energy, even if he originally didn't find the exact object cute. In my case, he finds anime amazing, so whenever he talks about it, I keenly listen, even if I know I'm not much interested, it's just the vision of him getting excited over that one particular story plot which automatically makes ME interested. It's just a test to show how much you both can match each other's energy, despite not having the exact same interests. Now that is my take on those tests lol, sorry for the longass 'essay' I just wrote-

That hill thing wouldn't work for me cos I'm all in for short kings and I'M the one who CARRIES HIM

Well , the only times my husband would do a complete useless trip to get me something I am craving is when I am on bed really sick and hadn’t eaten anything and that particular thing is the only thing that sounds appealing to me …sometimes he even help me sit up and help me eat, before handling me my meds / something to drink, might not be the most romantic thing ever , but he’s really helpful whenever he does that, illnesses, surgeries, etc , I always make sure to say “ thank you “ , and most importantly, he knows I have and will do the same for him. Not romantic, just , real love and care . ❤

a personal relationship rule i have for myself after a couple of really bad relationships went off the rails is "never issue an ultimatum" i.e., if you're ever at the point in a relationship where either party is even *considering* the possibility of telling your partner "do X or i'm going to break up with you", then you should just break up, regardless of what X is. Because no matter what X is, if you're offering those two dichotomous choices of "follow my command" or "this relationship is over", then that means one of two things: either you've thought carefully about the risk of losing your relationship and decided that that's something you're willing to risk(i.e. that the end of the relationship is an acceptable outcome for you), or you're a disingenuous person who lacks the conviction of their own words. If it's the former, then that reveals that you're already wanting out of the relationship and you're in denial about it. And if it's the latter, then whoever's issuing the ultimatum is not yet mature enough to be in an adult relationship in the first place.

As much as I would love to be carried around, it’s not something I’m specifically looking for in a partner, because most adults aren’t strong enough to carry other adults the way I want to be carried

The orange peel theory is based off of the bird theory (which actually does have psychological backing to it) isn't a pass/fail application. Instead, it's meant to see if the couple expresses toxic behavior in the form of predator/prey behaviour, which both can show it.

it's cool you don't like romance, are you aromantic? Either way, totally agree that you don't need to have romantic experiences to know what's healthy or not in a relationship. Some things r obvious lol.

2:18 If i end a first date with anyone and they say "i wanna do a little test to see if youre the one" i'm just walked away

WHO shouldn’t have to say PLEASE?

i need. absolutely need to have a full conversation with haley one on one (or in a group discussion with others) because i cannot verbally describe how real she is to me. most valid opinions ive ever heard

the true test: if someone pulls this shit on you it means you need to RUN LIKE THE WIND

while i kinda get the bird one, at my autistic ass needs someone who is as enthusiastic as i am about random sht, i wouldnt say they hate me if they dont react that way, the rest is just plain stupid, also just too clarify i dont mean doing the bird test, just someone who would be enthusiastic when i am

Your confidence in yourself, ability to know who you are, and being true to 100% yourself is something to admire that I strive to have one day

Discrimination to disable, tall women, short men, weaker men, heavy women etc for the hill test😅 my dad peels oranges for us for decades but doesn’t stop him mentally abusing my mum.

1:59 I assume the hill thing is metaphorical still weird regardless Girls want their men to be Luisa from encanto The guys gonna be singing surface pressure to their homies cuz they’re girls be workin them too damn much 😂 I feel like we as a collective society missed the point of that movie

Another amazing video. LOVE your open honesty about your own love life. Agree with absolutely everything you said. My partner and I actually have a motto in our relationship"we would never test each other, but when a situation / obstacle occurs and we overcome it with love. It allows each of us to love each other more." My mother used to compete with me on 'who had a better husband. As my husband came home the one time I called a REAL emergency, I never needed to play that game. I know my husband will come, if you have to play these games, you must not know your partner enough.

6:36 his ...what is priceless 😭😭😭😭

I'm a 2001 Gen Z kid and I plan on being single/celibate. Not interested in a relationship

The only good thing social media has done was allow for a digital footprint as well as just seeing what to lookout for

We didn't need a test like this. Instead after five or so years i just got tired of doing things that she then "did better" after asking me to do them and being unhappy with the results. That or i'm in the middle of something when asked to do something, i say let me finish this, get to a safe spot in this game, etc. And two minutes later i'm on my way to do it, and she's finished doing it because she couldn't wait that long.

Watching your videos is a perfect form of sound therapy for me. 😊

As a happily married man with a child on the way. Marriage and love is work. Not everything is going to be perfect. But you work through it and act like a team. Best and most fulfilling part of my life.

On the one hand it's like these Girls want a puppet without a mind to control like "look at this and that, do this and that, be this and that, go there and where without questioning it whenever I ask or not even ask for it" On the other hand it's like the bare minimum of care for your partner to be happy with them about whatever, to peel or slice them a fruit from time to time or just basic interactions with each other, regarding everyones interests of course. And if my Girlfriend was doing TikToks I would personally be very annoyed to be pulled into that without even being asked and would refuse to do anything with the phone shoved into my face or on demand like this.

Literally my favorite channel right now 😂 she’s the best .

These videos are carring my day, absolutely love the energy 😂

"I DEFY YOU HEART MAN!"

9:00 this is unironically the kind of shit my ex-husband did to me for three years except he didn't film it and post it for clout. Do you know what this is, even without filming it? Emotional abuse.

I like to peel oranges it's kinda fun. But I start them by biting into it to open it at first cause my nails are short. But if somebody can't actually ask and say PLEASE, I'm not gonna do anything for them.

i TOTALLY agree with what hayley said, especially at the beginning of the video. everyone always says ‘omg i wanna be in a relationship so baddd’ but it never appealed to me and im so happy that someone else shares my sentiments :))

these are like the modern day love name calculator flash games from back in the day