Tim Dillon Show: THE Corporate Steakhouse Rant 

I sit at the bar alone in a corporate steakhouse. I wear a blazer. I drink manhattans and eat white bean soup, strip steak medium rare, asparagus, a side of heirloom tomatoes. The bartender upsells me a side of mushrooms. She's beautiful and friendly and laughs at all my jokes. I wonder why someone so beautiful is in this shitty city and not an actress out in LA. I ask her if she wants to join me for a drink and she tells me she has a boyfriend. I go to someplace different next week. A new corporate steak house. Maybe I'll see you there.

"The country is over. These temples of consumerism and slabs of beef are all we have left" 😂

This might be art at the highest level

I've listened to this 14 times. One of the best rants, yes or yes?

If this is the only thing left of our civilization after 12,000 years, and aliens discover it and listen to it, they will understand everything they need to know about what was here, and who we were.

"If people don't spend their lives trying to acquire things they fall into some type of weird, quasi-spiritual, genocidal mania."

This popped up in my feed. New fan. There’s something about getting yelled at about funny and agreeable stuff that really crusts my steak

The most American thing I've ever heard, in the most beautiful way possible

“Demons from hell eating ribeyes.” 😂

"It is not fresh, but it is hot as fuck!" Is the best part

“This is the way my father loves me”

As a corporate steakhouse General Manager, I wholeheartedly approve of this.

I went to a corporate steakhouse for my birthday last night. I played this rant at the table while stuffing my face. I love you TD

Here after Texas Roadhouse founder and CEO, Kent Taylor's death, to pay my respects.

This is GOLD. I feel lucky as a human for getting to experience this.

“People sitting around a table looking to swindle”

“I won’t go back to the hotel and blow my brains out tonight Because you said thanks for coming Tim”

Tim Dillon sounds like a radio DJ from the GTA universe

For the love of God, can someone please make an animation to go with this!!??

Tim Dillon is the most important comedian in the world right now.

The only magic left in this country is RU-vid’s algorithm for suggesting this video the day after I watched the Vlog with the “Steakhouse rant” reference

I’m sitting here crying laughing. The part where he says he’s going to the corporate steakhouse with his father I died

i cannot stop listening to this. up there with the old bill burr rants i used to love of his from 6-7 years ago

I revisit this rant often

This makes me want to go to a steakhouse with Tim. I bet it'd be a great time.

Who else is here after seeing him called "the steakhouse guy"?

So darkly articulate and perfect 😂

"Ragu, wagyu, whatever the fuck it's called, it's all fake, there are seven restaurants that serve it but you all buy it" lmfao

My annual listen. Still perfect.

One of the greatest monologues in the history of humankind. It really captures who we are as a species.

Everyday I grow more and more thankful for Tim Dillon. He's truly one of the best in the game right now for comedy and podcasts. I think he's only second to Bill Burr in his notorious ranting ability but feel he brings a unique proprietary flair to it that's in a league of its own. I think 2021 will be a good year for Tim.

Next time you're in Canada, take your corporate safari to The Keg. Despicable and great food!

I want to hear this for the first time again

Affirmative information Timothy. I have texted Bernard to tell our personal assistant's who will advise each of our secretaries to book the reservations for 7pm. Regards, Tremayne Douglas - CEO

"Is this the steakhouse guy?"

Get. The. Creamed. Spinach.

Hovering right above misery

Timmy doing his best to save good, old-fashioned American Imperial culture, as Bret Easton Ellis would lament. Brings a tear to the eye-- paraphrase "it's like I was coming in at the tail end of somethin'"

I listen to this every time I eat steak and it gets better each time.

This genre of comedy needs to happen

Someone please get him a food critic gig.

Do you want crab on your steak? No! But sure!

Something about the delivery of “we do not sleep well that night!” is just sublime

I’m listening to this before going to Perry’s Steakhouse. Thank you Tim

Still banging this everywhere I go .

This should be a GTA radio station

This is so underrated.. best Tim rant yet 😂

"I don't even know what that is but yes, why? Because I have nothing left in my life"

As a single guy, somewhat of a loner, It's getting harder to eat a char grilled steak by myself. No... don't seat me next to a family table, just find me a dark corner out of sight. I ain't here to make friends, just eat in peace!!

This is amazing!!!

Just got home from capital grille. So accurate and funny

I listen to this back to back.

This is the America i want to live in. Tim Dillon 2020!

“I want a menu to be designed in a Boardroom, by Suits! “ - Tim Dillon, 1st Earthling Politico Officer to set foot on Mars (2030). 🚀

Been to one business meeting in my life. It was a corporate steakhouse. One of my favorite meals. Businessmen flexing nuts about who can order the most expensive shit. ‘Order the filet and tuna, it’s going on the corporate account’

I don't care for Tim's stand up comedy. But as a podcaster, commenter on society/ current events- he is unparalleled. His observations are fantastic.

Tonight I'm going to a Corporate Steakhouse. This is my hype music.

I like listening to this while eating by myself at ocean prime like I am currently

We're never getting something like this on the show again are we...

Why doesn’t this have a million views?

"unfulfilling vocation, I mean vacation". Freudian slip? Haha

I listen to this on my birthday

I’ve listened to this 100 times

This needs to be on posters like the train spotting speech

Steak and Ale was the darkest of these restaurants. I miss it.

How does this only have 19k views?

The jordan peterson quote just earned him a spot on my top 3

I sent this to my father. He loves these places and is they dude at the bar drinking alone. Even the good Italian restaurants in NYC are gone and replaced with corporate soulless crap. That’s just the way it is so might

This is my favorite rant of all time. 2nd is Adam Corolla talking about building a garage in the LA Hills

Sit in the dark corner! ...

Tim Dillon to me in a nutshell: “you’re allowed to make money doing this?”

Do you want crab on your steak? No, but sure

Such an inspired rant Tim...truly inspired 😆😆😆

His comedy is so fucking insightful

And this my friends.... is why I love this man! He pulls no punches! 👌👍✊🤣😂

Amazing

Jesus Christ this is fantastic.

The beginning was very Alex-Jones-esque. I love it lmfao, tremendous entertainment. Tim is the hero we need and deserve.

And ps one of the funniest rants ever said

3:50 60 seconds of absolute gold

Tim is HILARIOUS!!

I really do agree

Goddamnit this is fucking amazing. Seriously. The best I’ve heard. Christ.

I feel like this would be good with really dramatic music behind it haha.

Why is this my favorite clip everrrrrr lmaooooooooooo. I’ve seen it over 25x minimum

Listen to this at 0.75 speed

Arguably his finest moment....so far

I’ve been here before but had to come back after those two Florida guys.

This is evergreen.

A1 rant.

"But it doesn't matter, because as we're tossing and turning, everything we ate goes into a column of profit."

"Unfulfilling vocation." Freudian slip there. We all know that Tim isn't getting fulfillment out of this whole comedy thing. Everything he does is entirely for our benefit and not his own. He's just helping us out, but he needs fulfillment and appreciation. He needs more money. Give this man money. Treat him to a corporate steakhouse dinner. Do something for him.

How can I own this? You can listen, but I want to own it.

Tim never asks a question he doesn’t already know the answer to

I ducking love you Tim

We better listen to this now before Tim starts selling this as NFT!!!

Had to search for this after those fake business boomers called him the 'steakhouse guy'.

I now use the phase "follow the fuckin rules, the system exists for a reason" as often as i can

When I heard Sean Lock had died I went to a chain steakhouse by myself and had a new york strip with an old fashioned

One of Tim’s all time best